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“Looking For A Man In Finance”: 30 Ridiculous Dating Preferences People Actually Had
Interview
Most people might complain how much dating sucks, but they still do it. According to the Pew Research Center, three in 10 Americans are single, and 51% are looking for a committed relationship or casual dating.
It's natural to have some kind of an idea what person you'd like to date. You may want your values to align, maybe you'd like them to listen to the same music and like similar films as you. Others have preferences about their potential partner's looks, consciously or unconsciously.
But some demands people in the dating world can seriously veer into the absurd. Knowing and having experienced that firsthand, one person online asked others: "What's the most ridiculous dating preference you've heard of?" And people's answers perfectly illustrate the hell that is modern dating.
We also reached out to the person who started this thread, u/Urjanhai. They kindly agree to tell Bored Panda what inspired it and have a chat with us about why modern dating seems to be so difficult at the moment. Read our conversation below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Having an active social media presence.
Multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago (edited)
Not using social media is a huge green flag! Social media has a negative impact on mental health. It sucks people in and steals their time. Someone who doesn’t use social media has a lot more time to appreciate life and do other things.
RELATED:
#2
Not the most ridiculous, but I got a good laugh when my friend said he wanted to set his dating profile to exclude girls with small dogs that can’t breathe well.
#3
I have a roommate who is destined to be single forever.
His preferences and is not open to any changes.
Must be shorter than he is. Blond, Blue or Green Eyes. Virgin (and preferably never been kissed). Slim but not too muscular. enjoys doing household "duties". Full Time employment with benefits and retirement savings. No drinking alcohol, caffeine or sugary sodas. must have sense of humor and laugh at his jokes. Must want 3 children. Must be financially set and planning for the future.
He is a 46 year old (suspected Virgin) 5'6" tall, balding, pudgy, evening desk clerk at 2 star hotel, smokes shitons of weed and drinks a 12 pack of light beer daily. Has no hobbies but getting drunk and staring at things. Literally dresses and looks like a person you would not introduce your kids to and no way would you ever leave them with him.
It's sad that he doesn't see how sad he is and thinks it's normal.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
You could make a movie about this guy. A sad cringy movie that would be a cult classic decades after it was made.
The urge to ask others about the most ridiculous dating preferences they've encountered was inspired by the Redditor's own experiences. "I presented this question to Redditors due to having encountered individuals with absolutely mind-boggling and illogical preferences and standards. I was curious to know just how far this phenomenon has gone."
Brazilian researchers have found that even in 2024, people say kindness and intelligence are the most valued traits they look for in a partner. "This is true for both men and women and across the sexual orientation spectrum – although heterosexual men do place a premium on their partner's physical attractiveness," said the study's author, Joao Francisco Goes Braga Takayanagi of the University of Sao Paulo.
#4
A woman I knew mentioned she was looking for a man who made “at least $500k/yr” and was also an artist type and not a workaholic. I was like I think those items are in conflict sweet thang.
Sue Denham 1 year ago
No, no. I think that's entirely possible as long as you don't want to throw words like "honest" and "legal" into the mix.
#5
I met a 49 year old man who outright refused to date any women over the age of 30.
He was single, in case you're wondering.
#6
I only Date men who like to be covered in dog hair, every day of there life
Because I am always covered in dog hair.
The most ridiculous dating preference u/Urjanhai's ever experienced was about cars. "Probably the most ridiculous preference was based on what car the man drives. I've seen countless women wanting to date a man who drives a specific brand of cars."
"[The] most ridiculous part of that is that the car brands in question were not even the fancy types like Lamborghinis, etc. No, these women wanted Volvos," the Redditor said in disbelief. "No matter how trashy the car itself was, as long as it's a Volvo, it was okay."
#7
Obese People that refuse to date other obese people while simultaneously claiming that being larger is more sexually appealing.
#9
Dude wanted a Japanese woman who spoke Spanish and cooked Mexican food .
Kristy Marion 1 year ago (edited)
Will they settle for Peruvian food? Second largest Japanese population in Sth America
u/Urjanhai thinks that the increasingly silly demands from people in dating have to do with social media. "I believe this phenomenon is tied to social media and how impressionable people have come."
"Some people adopt their dating preferences from social media if those preferences are popular. It's like wanting to fit in with people you don't know and likely won't ever even meet in real life. Social media has warped people's perception of real-life social dynamics. In a way, they have lost a chunk of their sense of reality, which definitely is alarming," the netizen tells us.
#10
My friend claims to only want to date Japanese girls, despite not living in Japan or any community with a Japanese population. Furthermore, he has never even met a Japanese girl. His opinion is based solely on watching anime.
#12
I work with someone who only wants to marry someone from her church. Not her faith - Her physical church of 20 people.
#13
All these "tradcon" dudes want a woman to be a virginal and demure "saving herself for marriage". HOWEVER, as soon as you start dating them, they immediately want the woman to start putting out.
#14
I once made a rule that I would no longer date men who didn't have some type of window decor. Curtains, blinds, shades, etc. Blankets, sheets, or flags tacked up over a window didn't count.
I don't know why I consider this a sign of maturity, I just do. Maybe I was just tired of the frat boy type.
#15
Had a work colleague reject a guy because he had a desktop PC.
In hindsight, the dude dodged a bullet.
#16
Specific race, specific piercing, fat a*s, short curly bouncy hair, freckles, must have athletic/fit body, no social media, no Twitch/YouTuber, no guy friends but he can have girls that are friends, I can go on and on. You MUST be okay with hypocritical views/double standards for him.
I’m not making this s**t up. Dude thinking there’s some “build a b***h workshop” out there.
Edit: Thank you to the kind and generous Redditor for awarding me some 💩.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I'm sensing a trend in some of these. "no Twitch/YouTuber, no guy friends but he can have girls that are friends". That's some groomer shite. isolate and exploit. It's how cults work.
#17
I once heard someone insist their date must have the same brand of toothpaste preference. Like, seriously? It's about compatibility, not dental hygiene uniformity.
#18
A buddy of mine said he only wanted to date Korean girls. One of our mutual friends at college tried to set him up with her roommate, who was an exchange student from Korea. The next day she asked him if they were gonna see each other again and he said no, she didn’t fit his “standards”.
Turns out the only Korean women he wanted were Kpop idols.
#19
I dated a girl who full out admitted that she was dating me (a POC) to look progressive.
Daniela Lavanza 1 year ago
Clearly racist. It's not even a physical preference, it's openly rejecting White people. BTW she isn't even considering OP's personality and feelings, it's frightening.
#20
I've known a couple of guys who always complained about girls not being interested in short guys, yet would never consider dating someone even slightly taller them them😅.
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
I like dating guys taller than me, and I’m quite short so it’s never been a problem. However, I’m not opposed to dating a short guy. I try to value personality above all things.
#21
There's this one girl I repeatedly see on dating sites so she's been on there a long time, as have I. Nothing really wrong with her looks wise, but she is in her 30s and she makes it very clear she's still a virgin.
She wants a guy who is also a virgin, doesn't watch [adult videos] and won't even entertain dating any guy that drinks or smokes even sometimes. And on top of that doesn't want some Mormon or otherwise religious/conservative guy, since she's not religious/conservative herself.
Like, lady, what planet are you on?
Becca not Becky 1 year ago
She probably grew up in a highly Mormon/religious/conservative area and liked the people but didn't want to continue in the culture. I've met a few people like that.
#22
I once heard of a guy who abruptly ended a date because she couldn't get through a sentence without using the word "like" several times.
>!It was me.!
#23
I heard about someone who refused to date anyone who didn't have at least ten houseplants.
#24
Girl I knew only dated guys with trucks, due to masculinity. Straight up said she couldn't take a guy who drove a woman's car seriously to do a man's role in her life. Guy she wound up with was shorter than average, small and scrawny, worked an office job, and was pretty much the opposite of the big burly masculine type, but he drove a truck. I found that so, so odd. I flip cars so what I drive can change on a daily basis, I can't imagine that being a dealbreaker for someone.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Man she would hate my bike riding a*s. BTW bike riders have the best butts and killer endurance. Do what you will with this information.
#25
Met a woman who confessed her hobby (restoring old cars) repulsed most men because "not a feminine activity".
*Au contraire*, I thought it was attractive as hell, and we had lenghty conversations where I did some researches, asked questions, listen her talk about her passion.
She ended our exchanges when I casually told her I wasn't proficient with tools and tinkering (outside computers), her justification being "a manly man knows how to use tools".
#27
This is a friend of mine’s preference and I’ll say it in her own words
A tall Asian guy who has a Black guy’s physique who’s also great at dancing reggaeton and bachata.
Shark Lady 1 year ago
This is weirdly specific, I wonder if any of their past boyfriends have ticked all boxes
#28
Know a girl who broke up with a guy because he didn’t read the Bible enough he read it once a day but she reads it three times a day.
#29
I once knew a woman who wouldn't date a guy because the back of his head was too flat.
#30
Some girl on tiktok was talking about this guy she met who only dated women with lip filler? Because he believed that meant they had money. 😂😂😂😂.
#31
I worked with a guy who said he wanted to have a baby with a woman from every race. I think he was up to 3 kids at that time. SMH.
#32
I have a very Scandinavian name, my ancestry is 50% Norwegian so I obviously have very Scandinavian features.
You’d not believe the amount of men that try to get with me for their “Viking” aesthetic. It’s weird to be culturally fetishized for a culture I have zero connection to beyond my name and ancestry.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
What is "viking aesthetic"? I remember a video I found on YouTube of weird video dating profiles from the '80s and one dude had a sword and a helmet with horns. Is that who OP is on about?
#33
Way back when I was doing online dating, this girl had the most restrictions for a potential relationship I've seen.. by FAR.
-Man must have a place to live
-Must let her move in
-Sleep in separate beds/rooms
-No kissing or holding hands, makes me uncomfortable
-Hugging is vary iffy, maybe after I got to know you for a few months
-Anything sexual is strictly off the table
-Wont cook, clean, or do chores
-No kids
-Man must support me 100% financially, as I'm unable to work due to medical reasons
Like lady, your not looking for a relationship at this point. You just want a free place to live
EDIT: Oh, I left out another one: Absolutely no porn or masturbation, as she considers it 'cheating'.
#34
"He needs to be so hot that I feel _physically sick_ with how badly I want him whenever I look at him. There's just no other way I could go out with someone"
She was a junior doctor, and a friend of a friend.
When I last saw her, her boyfriend was a 6' 2" ex model... because of the facial scarring from a knife fight. With a rival d**g dealer. He hadn't finished school or done any other kind of work and came from a really rough background. He'd been scouted and modelling was the big break that was going to lift his family out of poverty... but then he got into a fight and it was over before he was even 22.
So now he was unemployed and spending his days sitting around in their flat (that she paid for) smoking weed (that she paid for) with his mates, talking about the hip-hop demo they were going to seriously start working on. Any day now. (Which she would have to pay for).
He _was_ really, crazy attractive. But she would show up at my friend's door in floods of tears a couple of times a month over him and they seemed to spend all the time together when they weren't actually f*****g just... screaming at each other.
I don't know if she actually liked him, as a person, at all.
But he _was_ really hot.
#35
My friend’s requirement is that he must have a long neck. It was hard to keep my composure when she told me that, all genuine with a straight face.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
She'd love my giraffe looking fiance. I for my part didn't even notice how long his neck was until I put closer attention to it
#36
A kid I worked with said that he wanted to date someone who was physically fit, worked out at the same gym, had a certain style hair, drove, lived by herself, and there was a whole host of other preferences. We did the maths, and there were roughly 5 people in town who met that list.
#37
Only dating people who wear a certain brand of clothing.
Red PANda (she/they) 1 year ago
I don’t understand brand loyalty. Imo, It should be the companies serving us, not the other way around. It’s my money that they’re spending.
#38
I have a male friend who dates much younger women who are “high maintenance”.
I know it’s very common, but the dynamic is disturbing. He gets to use her for arm candy, and she gets to use him for money. A dynamic made in Hell.
#39
My wife's best friend doesn't last long in relationships because she's waiting for the "perfect" man to come along. Perfect features, makes good money, treats her like a queen. No flaws whatsoever. She's living in a fairy tale.
#40
A few girls have told me they won’t date anyone who has had the Covid vaccine.
#41
I had a friend in high school who said that the only man she ever wants is Prince William. Mind you, this was 20+ years ago when he still had hair.
We did not even live in the UK.
She’s in her 40s now and she must have been serious about it, because she has never dated anyone else.
#42
I had a friend/coworker who required men she dated to be at least 6' 2", black, intelligent, handsome, holding a good job, chill after being told after a few dates that she had herpes, never late to a date (even 5 minutes, because that's disrespectful of her time), always pays for dates, always responds to her texts the same day, and visits her in the hospital even if she's only there overnight, they've only been on a few dates, and he has to work and has pre-existing obligations.
She had a zero tolerance policy for anyone who failed any of these requirements. In essence, they had to treat her like she was just about the most important thing in their life.
For some reason she found it hard to find a man to go on more than two or three dates with....
#43
When I told her I wasn't a Haruki Murakami fan she said that was a deal breaker.
#45
I once talked to a guy who liked his women skinny. And I mean SKINNY. he wanted me to starve myself to 90lbs. He liked seeing rib cages, neck bones, etc. I actually did end up dropping down to 98lbs, but it wasn’t because of him. I stopped talking to him very quickly after that.
Firstname Lastname 1 year ago
Once had a gangly boy who told me he liked me skinny, and I think he just didn't want me to be bigger than him so that he could still pick me up. But man, as a person who already had an eating disorder, that messed with me.
#46
I once met someone who would only date people who shared their love for collecting vintage spoons. They even brought a spoon to every date to see if it sparked a conversation. People have some wild preferences!
#47
Matched with someone on Bumble, she asked my Myers Briggs Personality Type.
I told her it was ENTP, and asked hers.
She unmatched.
Honestly not even mad, gotta respect the hustle.
René Sauer 1 year ago
My first question would be WTF? I only know about that BS because I once read about it on reddit.
#48
People whose legs don't work and wheelchair fetish. Went as far as using a wheelchair despite having legs that work.
#49
My family friend was an immigrant who desired for their daughter to go out with a man from Vietnam. I had never met another Vietnamese family until they were. Our home was in a rural area of Maine.
#50
I knew a guy who hooked up with, but wouldn't date his female best friend—who he talked to every day and spent a bunch of time with—because she wasn't "pretty enough and didn't have enough going for her [as in she's the LA type who makes money off of gigs].
This man was 40 years old and had no stable job. Granted, he was good-looking, but how in the hell is he going to find a woman who's attractive and has things going for her if he doesn't also have things going for him?
#51
Only dating men that had a christian "platform", preferably having generations of "men with platforms" before him. Do I need to say this woman is still single?
Curiosa: this same person was also a self-appointed relationship expert and gave couples advice on a regular basis, despite never have had a relationship on her own.
Edit: the word "platform" was used by the woman herself. What she ment was someone like a pastor, preacher or similar type of Christian leader, and preferably not the first generation of the sort in his family.
#52
I knew this Bangladeshi guy who was always complaining about white women being racist and not wanting to date non-white guys. (he said this despite no apparent difficulty in getting into relationships with them). At one point, he told me he thought white people were the only race he found attractive. So essentially his criticism was that they had the same preference as him.
Ace 1 year ago (edited)
Sadly there's a long history of colour-based 'racism', enshrined in the caste system, within the Indian sub-continent. Generally speaking the higher caste you are the lighter skin you're likely to have. This has also been the case in some parts of the Americas where descendents of slaves have prided themselves on how light their skin is, as in they're only a little bit black so are purer or 'better' than full-blooded black people. I'd like to hope that this is no longer the case, but I suspect there are stil places where it is.
#53
I have seen people putting on their profile "no Blacks, no Asians", no Indians" etc.. or like "I am only interested in eurocentric standards of attractiveness that media portrays cause of historical oppression, white supremacy and colonlism, i am sorry if i am that narrow minded"
So thats the most ridiculous and stupid and bizzare things I have ever seen.
LandAhoy (they/them) 1 year ago
Having a preference and only wanting to date particular race is not 'racist'. Just like it's not sexist to only want to date a particular sex, it's not ageist to only find certain ages attractive, and it isn't fatphobic or anti-ginger if you simply don't fancy larger people with ginger hair. Who you fancy is who you fancy.
#54
I once met someone who would only date people who shared their exact taste in music. They'd literally ask for a playlist on the first date to see if it matched up. If not, it was a dealbreaker. Talk about a niche requirement!
Brenda 1 year ago
My late husband love rock, hard rock, even some metal. (Rush was his favorite group) I love country, rock & some pop. We just found some music we both liked - Queen, 70s rock some 80s. I hate to think what I would have missed being so picky. Today would have been our 27th anniversary 😢. My first without him. These people are missing out on so much being so demanding
#55
Once got a message out of the blue on a dating app from a woman (who I hadn't approached, "liked" or talked to even once) in order to reject me out of hand (I hadn't asked!) because "how can you be in your 30's and not own your own home?". I mentioned in my profile that I was currently renting somehow, but it wasn't more than a passing comment and she just messaged to rebuke/reject someone who hadn't even approached her.
I thought it was the weirdest thing. Not even a beginning of a conversation or an honest enquiry or anything, it was an attack right out of the gate.
Didn't like the tell her that the only reason I was renting was that the two previous houses I'd owned I had given to my ex's... the woman was clearly only interested in one thing and I didn't need her getting the idea that she could be number 3.
#57
Had a friend that was very specific about wanting a guy who was an only child.
#58
I've been with a boy for more that a year, the first time I invited him to my (twin) birthday party he said he doesn't date Gemini and disappeared. Before that he never asked my birthday, never talked about astrology or stars.
#59
Knew a girl who worked as a waitress, she actively hated men and said things like “I can’t imagine helping a man with something or doing anything for him, he must handle everything a-z while earning 6 figures” and she wonders why she’s 29 and still single.
#60
Somebody who only dates people who own yachts.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
That's not a person, that's a character from an John Hughes film.
#61
I used to be friends with someone who wouldn’t date over 30 when he was like 32-33. He was with a woman nearly 40 purely because she let him cum in her but then set his sights on a girl at his supermarket job who was freshly 21, then another who was 17.
That’s just ONE reason I stopped talking to him.
#62
There was a woman I worked with at a resale boutique- she was dating this guy for like 6 months. They went out every weekend. She was really pretty, he was really handsome.
She asked me what me and my boyfriend talked about. She explained that her boyfriend would take her to bars or restaurants or they would hang out and watch movies, but they never really talked and she didn't know what couples were supposed to talk about- she mostly just dated him because he was good looking and she liked how he dressed.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
That's so sad. My coworker asked what my bf and did for dates and I had the sudden realization that we don't do anything. We sit and talk. For hours. And then we go home, lol.
#63
Alright, feel free to tell me if I'm being mean or not but I dont want to date anybody from France.
#64
A good friend of mine refused to date any guy who had visited fewer countries than she had.
ETA: She has been to at least 30 or 40 countries.
Ace 1 year ago (edited)
Hah. I recall a FB quiz/app some years ago that let you track all countries, current and historic, that you'd visited. I think I was up in the 70s, but a quick search through similar websites now only gets me to the mid-50s, so I wonder what happened to all those other countries?
#65
I've literally heard a woman say to me that her ex-boyfriend was too nice for her and I'd be too nice for her and that she'd need an a*****e to keep her in line. She'd never date anyone who she'd be friends with. She later came out as a lesbian and has only been with women since, the past 11 years.
#66
When I was in Uni, I've heard of a dude that wanted to date women that had "octopi arms".
Me and my friends still are unsure what this means.
Wolf Hungry 1 year ago
It means he wants a girl who is constantly touching him in an intimate way.
#67
Someone with a good head shape (literally) so that if they go bald they look good
Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Legendbird 1 year ago
We left phrenology like a hundred years ago. Please don't bring it back.
#69
I know a guy that is into older women, and by older I mean **muuuch much older,** like their last-dating-experience-older.
#70
Not dating someone because they have a high snap score. I personally have a low one cos I think messaging people is boring af, but just because someone has a high snap score doesn’t mean they’re sexting a bunch of people.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
And here I am, aiming at someone with a pulse, teeth and without a criminal record.
MonsterMum 1 year ago
I've not used online dating and am in a long-term relationship, but my important preference is that they like cats.
Guy Bare 1 year ago
They don't know they like cats until they adopt one 😋
Load More Replies...
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago
Back in the dark ages before online dating sites existed, and I was quite happy being single, a friend made me make a list of things I'd want in an ideal man. It ended up being a load of very specific, strange & often incompatible requirements, including taste in music, particular authors he would read etc. Total fantasy. Anyway, fast forward a few months & he turned up. (The only box he didn't tick was being a bit on the tall side for my preference.) We've been happily married for over 20 years.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
And here I am, aiming at someone with a pulse, teeth and without a criminal record.
MonsterMum 1 year ago
I've not used online dating and am in a long-term relationship, but my important preference is that they like cats.
Guy Bare 1 year ago
They don't know they like cats until they adopt one 😋
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago
Back in the dark ages before online dating sites existed, and I was quite happy being single, a friend made me make a list of things I'd want in an ideal man. It ended up being a load of very specific, strange & often incompatible requirements, including taste in music, particular authors he would read etc. Total fantasy. Anyway, fast forward a few months & he turned up. (The only box he didn't tick was being a bit on the tall side for my preference.) We've been happily married for over 20 years.
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