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47 Unhinged Tips From Corporate Employees Who Are Going Through The Same Hell
Danny Veloz from Miami asked everyone on TikTok to share their unhinged corporate job hacks that allow them to endure the grind and has received more than 4,700 replies. Some of the tips addressed the importance of work/life balance, while others focused on things like networking and keeping appearances, using calendar blocks to sneak out for a midday workout, or dragging out bathroom breaks to scroll in peace. Clearly, the real skills are the ones you don't put on your resume.
More info: TikTok
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#1
TRUST NOBODY. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
SummerVeE 4 months ago
Pay attention to people who prefer to talk over the phone or in person in response to your emails discussing matters that need to be documented. When that happens, email them post conversation with "Thanks for taking the time to discuss this matter in person today. This email is to recap what we talked about/the timeline we agreed on for me to complete (___), you to complete (___) and to confirm your availability to set a follow up meeting. I have these dates available to meet, kindly let me know which one will work for your schedule:
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#2
Find your 3rd spot. As crazy as it sounds, you NEED a place to go that’s not at work and not at the house where you can relax, recharge, or socialize. Could be the gym, pickleball court, Starbucks, bar, or whatever works for you!
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 4 months ago
This is most excellent advice. It also helps me to save any social media interaction for after work. I read the news on my break like an old fuddy duddy. i get off work I had for my local watering hole. That's when I hit the socials. Mix that in with a bit of time with the usual crowd. After one or two I'm chatting up and winding down.
Employee engagement — the emotional connection and commitment employees have to their work and organization — goes beyond employee satisfaction.
According to decades of research, when employees are engaged, it leads to:
- higher productivity and profitability;
- lower absenteeism and turnover;
- fewer safety incidents and quality defects;
- stronger customer loyalty.
However, only 21% of employees worldwide and 31% in the U.S. fall into the "engaged" category.
#3
Take lunch from 1-2pm, most people take lunch from 12-1pm, by doing this, you will have 2 hours of unbothered time.
MushroomHead22 4 months ago
and how do you decide when you take lunch? not every company allows you to take lunch when you want, you have set times to take that lunch.
#4
Be nice to everyone but don’t trust anyone!
#5
Learn how to detach your personal worth and self-esteem from your career. The moment you start internalizing professional feedback of any kind as some sort of a reflection for who you are outside of that job, you’re cooked. Detach and keep a very strict line between your personal and professional life.
As we can see from the list, people come up with multiple ways to find their place in the workforce, but improving employee engagement is a shared responsibility within an organization. Leaders set the tone, and managers create the conditions.
Key drivers of employee engagement include:
- Purpose — Doing work that feels meaningful and mission-driven
- Development — Having opportunities to learn and grow
- Caring managers — Feeling supported by someone who genuinely cares
- Ongoing conversations — Receiving consistent feedback and coaching
- Focus on strengths — Being encouraged to use what you do best every day
So it's not just about how bad you want it, it's also about workplace culture and the support systems in place.
#6
Coworkers aren’t friends. They are just daytime trauma buddies.
StrangeOne 4 months ago
Don't allow anyone to use you as a gossip trash bin, or venting exhaust pipe.
#7
Climb back down the ladder and preserve ur sanity. In hindsight, I wish I had done it 10 years ago.
Igor914624 4 months ago
I made it to a C-Level position in my field years ago. And I hated it. It was no longer about what I loved to do, it was all budgeting, hiring/firing, scheduling, etc... Before getting promoted, I enjoyed my work, and I was good at it. So I left that job, and when I went to apply for tech positions, I got funny looks, but no offers for a "lesser position' than I previously had. So I scrubbed my resume of the executive stuff. I got a job in 3 weeks after that. I have been happy with my work since then. The executive perks were not worth the ulcers and unhappiness that job brought me.
#8
Do not take the lunch break in front of the computer. Go to a park, take a break.
#10
It’s about being seen not about how hard you work so make sure you’re friendly and helpful towards everyone
Shelli Aderman 4 months ago
This one goes without saying. Just be friendly and helpful to all. That’s kind of the point of it all!
#11
Take advantage of anything worth value. 401k match, free legal counsel, tution reimbursement, turn business trips into vacations. Corporate jobs have a lot of perks, learn to use them to your advantage.
#13
Drink a lot of water so you get to go on side quests like refilling your water or going to the bathroom.
#14
*HR is NOT your friend. *get EVERYTHING in writing. Be that person that sends an email 5 min after a meeting. "I just wanted to recap our meeting..." *don't over share personal information. Create boundaries and stick to them.
Geoffrey Scott 4 months ago
My 'trick', set up a 'CYA" folder in email for track covering. Came in handy once or twice.
#15
Any job can be remote if you dissociate hard enough.
Giles McArdell 4 months ago
Love this! Boss: What are you working on? You: Another Pina Colada please. Boss: What? You: What?
#16
Separate your identity as a person from what you do to earn money to live.
StrangeOne 4 months ago
This is especially important if the company you work for is controversial. No one really needs to know where you work, anyways.
#17
It is crucial to be important enough to not get fired but not important enough to get held accountable for anything.
#19
Realising its just a job and there are more important things in life like health, happiness and loved ones. they'll replace you, so don't stress yourself out.
#20
Literally don’t worry about anything, it's not like we are saving lives
StrangeOne 4 months ago
I have to constantly remind myself that because the managers act like we are. There will always be work. You'll always have an end time and breaks. If a ton of work overwhelms you, take it one thing at a time and don't worry about what's ahead. This can apply in the service and retail industry. At an old job of mine I was told don't look at the line of people. Just focus on the customer in front of you.
#21
Just look busy and have lots of papers on ur desk & look stressed at all times.
#22
Work with people that genuinely like you and you genuinely like. Makes the work so much lighter.
#23
Document everything. And I promise the money isn’t worth your mental health and/or personal wellbeing for a toxic corporate job. Been there, done that!
#24
Escape corporate. That's what I did.
#25
Pretend it’s a TV show. Notice the places that would funny if you were watching it on TV. Life-changing.
#26
“Networking” with management is more important than hard work when it comes to getting a promotion 😭 -with lots of love from a hard worker that hates networking.
Bartlet for world domination 4 months ago
And think hard if you truly want the promotion or need the money that comes with it, because corporate is best enjoyed a few steps down the ladder.
#27
Never, never, do your best.
Igor914624 4 months ago
Corrolary: Don't give 100% all the time. In the original Star Trek, Scotty was known as a miracle worker because he would always over-estimate the time anything took. If it was routine, he would meet that timeline, every time. Even if something went wrong, he padded the estimate to account for any issues. If it was an emergency, he was able to fix it way under the estimated time. The first thing made him look invaluable, the second thing made him a miracle worker. And he never really worked hard unless it was an emergency.
#28
If you work in a building with multiple floors, leave your coat and bag on a different floor so no one on your team clocks that you’re leaving.
#29
Do not tell ANYONE ANYTHING about your life out of the office, just the best minimum to make a conversation. 2.Be nice with everyone, because the person who you hate at the moment, one day in the future could be your future boss.
KatWitch57 4 months ago
Learn the art of giving totally useless personal information: "how was your weekend?" "great I made a fantastic lasagne". NOT I went out with my mates and drank 16 bacardi breezers!
#30
Trust nobody. You’re there to make money, not friends. Use free time for courses on professional development and certifications- use that to negotiate for higher pay.
#31
Have things to do outside of work.. I go to concerts, happy hr, vacation so when I’m mad at work I’m like yeap concert tomorrow woohoo.
#32
Be likeable. That’s really it. It will get you further than anything else.
#33
Don’t respond to Gossip in teams chats.
April Tysdal 4 months ago
Don't gossip on company channels create your own b***h group text or something
#35
Work in an international group. My boss is not even in the same country.
#36
Don’t trust anyone, don’t take things personal, never do more than necessary.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
"It hurts no one to be considered a scoundrel worthy of respect until he has proven himself a friend worth of trust." - Ambrose Bierce
#37
Less is more when explaining. Just say “yes” “sounds good” to 💩 that probably deserves more words. Don’t explain why you made a mistake just what you’re going to do to fix it. LESS WORDS
#38
ALWAYS start your corporate job with 4 living grandparents. take all your PTO. your coworkers are not as cool as you think they are, they don't need to know anything that may compromise you or your position. if it's not in procedure, you're not mandated to do it. If you're supposed to log in at 8 and it takes you 10 to start your computer, that still counts, even if you're not available till 8:10, don't work a minute you're not paid for.
Giles McArdell 4 months ago
"ALWAYS start your corporate job with 4 living grandparents" - If you're missing any, just borrow someone else's!
#39
Lexapro. I don’t even flinch when the customers get crazy anymore. It’s very nice and I am surviving.
#40
Pomodoro method, that time be flyingggg.
Editor's note: The Pomodoro method is a time-management system that breaks work into 25-minute intervals, called "pomodoros," followed by short 5-minute break.
Child of the Stars 4 months ago
I use this method to help manage depression and anxiety symptoms. I never knew there was a name for it.
#41
Don’t trust anyone you work with, and create a personal tracker of all your work and projects, with a timeline. Document everything and use email. Will be hard to sabotage you if you cover all your bases, speaking for those toxic workplaces where performance is measured.
#42
Exercise before work and take the stairs after lunch; move the body, move the mind.
#43
Never get your ego involved. It’s THEIR ego you focus on.
#44
Pull your current book up as a PDF and read and pretend you’re looking at important documents.
#45
Take your lunch as late in the day as possible. Trust.
Anthony Elmore 4 months ago
This is true for most jobs. God does it make the second "half" of the day seem faster.
#46
Act like you’re in “The Office” looking at a non existent camera and treat everything like a bit.
#47
I pretend I’m not a permanent member of staff. I’m just here as an intern to help out temporarily. Makes me feel so much better - I don’t know why.
Michael Largey 4 months ago
I take the same view about being alive. And I think I'm not wrong.
#48
Go on walks constantly, whether it’s at the office or if you work from home. I am notorious for not being found at my desk throughout the day 😂
#50
Use the corporate jargon in your assessments and reports. You'll seem "aligned' with the upper leadership.
Moana Manana 4 months ago
Oh God, I hate the "corporate mantra brainwash" talking. I would never ever use it. If you're a upper leader, that's your job. Belive in it. You have to, but boy, sometimes they are just detached from real operating life that I would vomit everytime they say: we have to be agile. .. to challenge status quo... to step outside of our comfort zone🤢
#52
Rage room every Friday to empty out all the negative or journaling! But morning working out works too.
#53
What people say about you is more important than what you actually do. Be strategic with your time and people.
#54
Don’t put your laptop in a bag/rucksack. Just carry your laptop. That way, you can walk out naturally and it’ll look like you’re simply heading to a meeting.
Laserleader 4 months ago
Why? Why do you need to pretend you never leave work? If you are cheating your hours, then never wear a coat either.
#56
Take a lot of vacation and sick days. I hope that helps.
#57
Paraphrase everything that the person in charge just said in a meeting when it's your time to speak.... also lots of nodding.
#58
Don’t complain and always agree 😌 Be so nice that when you make mistake, people brush it off 😌 And when someone talk bad about you, no one else believe 😌
MushroomHead22 4 months ago
if you dont agree, voice it. regardless of how nice you are, if you make a bad mistake it wont be brushed off.
#59
Don’t eat lunch on your break. Do something for yourself. Eat lunch when you back to your desk.
RomanceRadish 4 months ago
People around you don't want to hear you eating and smell your food.
#61
A 10-minute bathroom break a day adds up to a week’s vacation in a year.
Shelli Aderman 4 months ago
Going to the bathroom is not a vacation or a privilege. It is a human need and should be treated as such!
#65
Do as little work as possible without getting fired. Work on making yourself more qualified to move to a better paying position somewhere else. Rinse and repeat.
Matt from Canada 4 months ago
This is basically just quiet quitting. Good luck with your "career"
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What do you think ?
Laserleader 4 months ago
This list is half "good" employee and half "shaft the business" employee.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 4 months ago
Businesses always have the upper hand, so anything an employee can do to make their life at that company easier is fair AFAIC.
Load More Replies...
shg stewart 4 months ago
Am I the only person who genuinely doesn't *want* a promotion? I like what I do. I am good at it. I have no desire to be management. I don't even want to be a team lead. I don't like that stuff. I like doing the work, not dealing with people and office politics and schedules and all that naarishkeit. Granted, the only other way to get a substantial raise in my line of work is to know some really arcane skills, but that's doable.
Laserleader 4 months ago
This list is half "good" employee and half "shaft the business" employee.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 4 months ago
Businesses always have the upper hand, so anything an employee can do to make their life at that company easier is fair AFAIC.
Load More Replies... shg stewart 4 months ago
Am I the only person who genuinely doesn't *want* a promotion? I like what I do. I am good at it. I have no desire to be management. I don't even want to be a team lead. I don't like that stuff. I like doing the work, not dealing with people and office politics and schedules and all that naarishkeit. Granted, the only other way to get a substantial raise in my line of work is to know some really arcane skills, but that's doable.
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