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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

or_gasm Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Harry_Styles Report

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#4

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

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Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

flopsychops Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

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#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

mojey6068 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mc-MeepMeep Report

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

griffonbrioche Report

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

theacondaa Report

#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

reddit.com Report

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

kaoconno avatar
kathoco
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The most unbelievable part is that a teacher thought it would be a good idea to tell his students his religious beliefs in class.... I'm a teacher and most of us know that that's a recipe for disaster.

kobusloots avatar
boredpanda_48 avatar
ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Remember how they used to say "adaptation" in class to avoid the word "evolution". It's really sad.

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michaelbartko avatar
Michael Bartko
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe NBC created The Monkees to draw on the popularity of The Beatles’ film A Hard Day’s Night

jgarza avatar
J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do so many need people to cheer and clap for them? Even in their own fantasies.

blbrightonoswin_1 avatar
Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You better stay in school because you need a damned good education - you don't even know what atheist means!

nathanjones_2 avatar
Nathan Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the other bullshit aside...... is it normal for everyone who wears Nike shoes to know the names of the founders off the top of their head?

mikepower avatar
Mike Power
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, most people don't know the full names of the founders of companies that use child labor.

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best thing about science is that you will often hear 'we don't know...'. Scientists are excited by all the things we still have to learn. In religion, you will never hear 'we don't know...' you will only hear '...because god/the gods...' and 'because I have faith!'

dntownsend4 avatar
Davis the Un-Greatest
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, this sounds like something that would happen at my school, but instead of cheering we’d be silently giggling at the teacher who went along with it :)

s-mkeating avatar
M
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an atheist, I understand how some people believe in god creating souls, or creating the beginning of the universe and whatnot, but I don't know how people can look into all that science about something and say, "Nope, god creates _____."

jen_hunt_9250 avatar
Alethia Nyx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His jaw probably dropped out of disbelief at the stupidity.

fracarr avatar
François Carré
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In his book The God Delusion, famous scientist Richard Dawkins answers to that kind of speech with this remark : the logic of the whole universe's story is exponential complexification. Which means everything started from something quite simple - some singularity which remains to be explained but as far as we know was kind of basic. God is supposed to be infinitely complex. If you say He created said singularity, well you don't explain anything actually, you're just transposing the question to what was before. How was God's infinite complexity created so that He could create the simplicity of the beginning ? There's no answer to this, except this one : faith is fine, but don't mess it up with science.

camipotter avatar
oof
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

some teacher if he thought we evolved FROM monkeys

violet-yimlat avatar
Viola Yarrow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Humans didn’t even evolve from monkeys, humans and monkeys have a common ancestor but not directly from monkeys

degueb avatar
De Gueb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who made "God"? God has nothing to do with religion. Suppose there was a creator, let's forget for now the "what created the creator" problem. If there was this magic entity that created everything why did he make up religion? Not one religion, hundreds? All different, different beliefs different holy days, different sins. Some people don't work on Fridays, others on Saturday. Some celebrate parthenogenesis, others don't it pork. All to please the same entity.

walterssaginaw avatar
Valley Girl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty sure monkeys are also born from monkeys...That shouldn't have been a stumper.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They still weren't "created", they evolved just like every other thing here. Except that student....

paulwerner_1 avatar
Paul Werner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's obvious most of the commenters never had an imaginary teacher

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Thomas E S Thomas
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Monkeys (chimps, a cousin to humans) evolved ultimately from a shrew, which had evolved from a lizard, which evolved from an arthropod dinosaur that had a duck-like bill. That dinosaur evolved from another creature that resembled a big fish. Humans are a result of 2.6 billion years of things evolving, reaching for the stars. We... we are not the end result.

perstephone29 avatar
Persephone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He said in his brain, "aw hell no, I ain't getting into this with your idiot parents, and school board; it's too late for you!!!" * I imagine this happened in Texas.

lauralee_3 avatar
laura lee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your teacher has thought of this situation before. They may even had a write a paper on it in college. You are not witty. You are sad.

kirkinsd7 avatar
Kirk Mckeever
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one had EVER thought of that before this young Hero.....it's...it's...Amazing...

dodsonmichelle avatar
Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is right up there with people who think Cavemen & Dinosaurs lived at the same time. Yup - OOG went out to kill us a Brontosaurus and he ain't been back yet!

lyndsayn17 avatar
Winx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone knows the founders of Nike off the top of their heads, obviously

thtleung avatar
Timothy Leung
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The teacher's jaw dropped because he just realized he has a first-class a-hole in his class...

waihi avatar
My O My
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His jaw dropped because he couldn't believe the idiotism

tristanjones avatar
Tristan J
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I went to a Catholic school, and remember having a similar discussion with the religious education teacher (except I was the libertarian). As a 16 year old, I had plenty of comebacks for the argument being made by the theist, as well as many other arguments such as the watchmaker analogy. If this teacher's jaw dropped as described, the first thing I would be doing would be to question their credentials as an educator.

dreyer1992 avatar
Ben Dreyer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Winner of annual cringe competition 3 times in a row.

scanningforviruses avatar
Vanta Black
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not sure what being a libertarian has to do with this... Also, if a creationist was asked "Who created ... ?", they would answer "God", not stand there with their mouth agape in shock. Also also, if an argument that bad convinced the religious to become atheist, religion would no longer exist.

benjamintang08 avatar
MorgothBauglir
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The most unbelievable part...is where he actually says he's a libertarian. Bravo! No one I talk to knows what a libertarian is.

icemagicion avatar
Sasha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God that train of logic. If youre gonna try to make yourself look awesome try not to say something so stupid that even a grade schooler could blow up your argument

sofacushionfort avatar
sofacushionfort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What’s even more unbelievable is how Kevin Sorbo resurrected his acting career with this.

mikepower avatar
Mike Power
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But what's more believable is nobody knows who tf "Kevin Sorbo" is, so his acting career definitely wasn't resurrected.

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George Pepe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teachers aren’t even legally allowed to talk about their personal views on things like that.

sabrina_y2000 avatar
Sabrina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By saying that, did he just admit that God first create monkeys and not Adam and Eve? Just the thought.

clanmorello avatar
Lynn Morello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your TEA HER would have found intelligent conversation elsewhere, such as, with your TEACHER.

willemsen avatar
Meami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just another version of this story that's been floating around the internet for years. It's such tripe.

brenthollett avatar
Brent Hollett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teacher: Well who do you think did it? Child: God. Teacher: Cool. Prove it, or get suspended.

marilyn-holt-3 avatar
Marilyn Holt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow! Just wow! How come no one ever in the history of the world thought of using that argument??

c3arbar393 avatar
Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He did NOT say “with monkeys that evolved millions of years ago” 😂 😂 😂 nice try tho.

joycemckay avatar
Joyce McKay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well let's see, humans didn't come from monkeys, the great apes and humans have a common ancestor and that premise that there has to be a god because everything has to have a creator is the biggest load of horseshit as well as the most childish understanding of evolution!

adrianhobbs0 avatar
Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Teacher realised he'd have to work all the way to the first slime mould. He then remembered rule #1 in teacher training "Never argue with stupid people. They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience."

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Sterling Cooksey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, so, what if religon and science can co-exist, using cristianity as an example. 7 days for an all powerful, pure being that has not start or end could be Millions of years for us

ashley_lynne_brown avatar
Ashley Lynne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid totally proved god exists ... what a genius. Mensa material 🙃

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XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People spend wayyyyyy to much time wondering how we all got here

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Billy Beecham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great, so we are all here because of monkey spunk from zippy. Fantastic. I can die knowing I have found the true meaning to life. I guess dark matter is the s**t that zippy flung round eh?

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Enby.Minecraft.Bee.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg. This person puts all other discord-ers to shame. And not in a good way

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this "God is not dead" 6 or 7? Are they still making those awful movies?

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to school someone in evolution without understanding evolution?

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ZAPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh dear. (a) he doesn't even understand what evolution is. (b) he hasn't heard of begging the question. You don't get to say "WHO" created monkeys. What you need to say is "how did monkeys appear?". (c). Not monkeys, hominins. Sigh.

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#19

And All Vampires Clapped

And All Vampires Clapped

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

DavidThorne31 Report

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

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#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

reddit.com Report

#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

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#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

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#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

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#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

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#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

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#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

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#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

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#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

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#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

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idan avatar
Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Srosenbz Report

#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

rmks8285 Report

#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

reddit.com Report

#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

travvy_cott_borgar Report

#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

mnro Report

#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

one_paranoid_android Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

ClownInYoDreams Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

That-Guy-J Report

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

PeterParker72 Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

galactiicpup Report

#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

notmypretzeldent Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

cas2ie Report

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Penelope
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

CAUSTIC101 Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

Available_Cup_9588 Report

#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

TheCommunist_Scholar Report

#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

djteotancolis Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

emrednz07 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

Laprasnomore Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

reddit.com Report

#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

madcre Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

wdymyname Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

snarkicon Report

#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

laseurdenuit Report

#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

ImbibingandVibing Report

#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

uhm_i_dont_know Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

RedditSmokesCrack Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

Fanfic_Galore Report

#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

TheeOxygene Report

#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

ImbibingandVibing Report

#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

smokefan4000 Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

awol-onion Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Dsp5_ Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

The-Holy-Sheep-3 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

jml1877 Report

#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

nolitos Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

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Lady Vader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

The_OwO_Is_Comin Report

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

Indominus_Khanum Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

420_420_man Report

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

wispy-cloud Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the Olympic Committee called and offered me a million dollars.

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#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

Haleylumlum Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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