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Things in life often change at a pace that is difficult for some people to catch up with; the things they used to enjoy back in the day no longer exist and what was customary became unacceptable all of a sudden. And while some things clearly changed for the better, others might leave some individuals perplexed, misunderstood, or even scolded.
Members of the ‘Ask Old People’ community on Reddit recently discussed instances of such change when one user asked them about things that were perfectly normal and acceptable when they were growing up, but would now be considered rude or boundary crossing. If you’re curious about the netizens’ observations, scroll down to find them on the list below and feel free to upvote those you can relate to or agree with the most.
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#1
Playing by myself in the woods at a pretty young age.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
My fondest memories were wandering around outside. At 8 years old riding my bmx bike to the “jumps,” building forts in the woods, exploring orchards, construction sites & dilapidated buildings. Which is why when we became parents, we moved to an off-grid location in the jungle on a very large but sparsely populated island. My 10yo is often out with his friends until just before sunset playing around in nature. Discovering on his own terms. Sure, he’s often home playing video games or occupied by screens, and of course he has his chores, homework & household participation. But mostly he’s being what was once a typical young boy, playing outside while there’s daylight, letting his sense of wonder & his imagination lead the way.
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#2
Possibly stopping in at a friend’s house unannounced. That used to be fairly common when everyone didn’t have a phone in his or her pocket.
#3
TV Specials. Like The Wizard of Oz being broadcast once a year and made for TV movies and mini series that were outside of the normal schedule. Or when Schindler’s List was broadcast commercial free in the 90s.
Also, scheduling your free time around a show you wanted to watch.
Montanavanna 1 year ago
When everyone was watching the big networks, CBS, ABC, NBC and Fox there was always a Sunday night movie. Those networks were free back then. I preferred Fox because there was 2 movies shown. Now that everything is streaming on demand it does not matter when anything airs.
#4
I worked as a temp a lot during the 90s. There were many offices that specified that women were to wear dresses or skirts only; not pants. That would not fly nowadays.
#5
Riding in the bed of a pickup truck, usually on the tire hub. My mom’s Eagle didn’t have seatbelts in the early 80s.
The Other Guest 1 year ago
I fully understand why it's banned, and agree that it's super dangerous. But damn, it was fun!
#7
Scolding someone else's child. I remember getting corrected by strangers.
Spencer's slave no longer 1 year ago
I did exactly this a wee while ago. A bunch of tweens were verbally harassing an older chap, calling him smelly, ugly, dirty etc. This chap was just sitting outside some shops minding his own business. Damn right I confronted them and I'd happily do it again if need be. Just because they're someone else's kids doesn't mean we should not call them out for their s.h.i.t.t.y behaviour.
#8
This may be hard to believe but when I started buying cigarettes in 1964 for 25 cents from a vending machine at the coin operated laundromat I often saw people, both men and women quietly sitting in their underwear reading magazines while their clothes were washing or drying. I do remember one guy in boxer shorts and shoes tap dancing. .
#9
When I was a kid, if a neighborhood kid was playing outside at someones house and got dirty, they got put in the tub and scrubbed down by the matriarch of the house. Their clothes were also thrown in the washer and dryer. No one thought anything of this.
Also, the women in my neighborhood fed lunch to whatever kids their own was hanging with that day.
#11
All my parents' friends used to give me a spanking for each year on my birthday. Does anyone else remember this? Birthday spankings? So weird.
#12
When I was a executive assistant I was called "the girl" when my boss was referring me to clients. "I'll have the girl write up the papers. Also, i was 38 at the time.
The Phantom Stranger 1 year ago
This was probably sexiest, but not intentionally demeaning. My grandfather sometimes referred to his secretary as "His girl", but it was meant respectfully, as in, "Let me ask my girl, she's the one who knows everything around here." In private conversation, he probably called her Ms. Tudor. I can't imagine a circumstance in which he would have called her "the girl" though, that's not just demeaning but dehumanizing.
#14
Telling other peoples kids off, I grew up in a village and everyone yelled at you if you were naughty. If I'd complained to my dad that Mrs next door had told me off he'd have said serves you right. That said Mrs next door wouldn't have told my dad on me.
#15
I was on a job interview in the 70s. The man said, 'Why should I hire you? I will train you. Then you will get married and have babies."
I was a college student looking before graduating.
#16
Asking people when they were going to get pregnant. Or why they didn’t have any kids yet.
Sue Denham 1 year ago
Best answer to this i ever heard was my SIL to her aunt "We're still practising,".
#17
Inviting the neighborhood children into your home. (1960’s and 70’s) On Halloween some people would ask you to step in the house to show an elderly family member your costume. It was very awkward . We also had a very religious elderly woman across the street, ( empty nester married couple) she held a Bible school every Wednesday after school for neighborhood kids to attend. We would go into her downstairs family room and she would show a film strip, give a felt board presentation, sing some songs. Then we would make a craft project and have a snack. Each week we were given a Bible verse to memorize and if you could recite it, you got a small prize. We were there about an hour and a half. This woman really enjoyed doing this, the parents didn’t seem to mind either. Actually, it was the most religious exposure I had as a child. She was a very kind and sweet woman, and well liked in the neighborhood. This would NEVER happen today.
Jaymi Leigh 1 year ago
I feel like both of these things are still pretty plausible. We are often invited in the entryway when I take my kids trick or treating. The other thing sounds like a homeschool deal for religion. Not that much of a stretch.
#18
The big paddle that one of the teachers would posses that would be used on your hind quarters at their whim. No parent permission needed.
#19
Bullying. Not only was it acceptable, but it was sometimes encouraged by teachers and parents because it would “toughen you up.” I was a victim of extreme bullying. It gave me CPTSD, actually. And I think it contributed to some of my health problems as an adult. Yet, when my mom tried to get help for me at school and from the bullies’ parents, they told her that kids will be kids and she had to stop trying to fight my battles for me. Now? I asked my young cousin if there were anti-bullying rules at her school (middle school) and she said yes, but they didn’t really need the rule because nobody really bullied anyone anyway. She literally thinks that kids naturally don’t bully other kids! Because the rule worked! It’s mind blowing to me. I wonder who I’d be if we’d had that rule.
Manana Man 1 year ago
I suppose locations vary but I think bullying is worse now. Years ago you never heard of a kid commiting suicide. And kids are great as using the internet for bullying.
#20
Cutting through our neighborhood backyards. We all did it. Until we got into Highschool and cars became the norm. You might get hurt today.
#21
I’ve been told that women were expected to wear “foundation garments” at work, and if they didn’t, then they might get reprimanded. I’m talking about longline bras and girdles.
In the 80s, one of my friends got sent to the office for not wearing a bra to high school.
#22
Elderly men innocently chatting up random kids in the streets. My father used to do that, and was heartbroken when it became unacceptable behavior.
#24
My childhood gp making consistent remarks to our mom about how my dad better get a stick to beat the boys back as my sister and I began to grow up.
before anyone goes there, no he wasn't a closeted pedophile. he had no personal lasciviousness to him at all. that kind of objectification was simply considered a "normal" way to compliment girl children in the 70's.
to be fair, I'm not sure it's over. in the 90's I was going down the throats of people who tried to make similar kinds of remarks about my son within his hearing. .
#25
Definitely dropping by people's houses. My dad was a Boy Scout leader (my brother was a boy scout) and we had teenage boys dropping by to ogle my two oldest sisters all the time (under the guise of a family visit :-)).
The neighborhood was full of kids and we always stopped by rather than calling. You'd knock on the door and call out, "Can Gigglefester come out and play?".
notlikeyou1971 1 year ago
When us Gen X kids were younger we always showed up at friend's houses to ask if a kid could come outside to play.
#26
Teachers laying their hands on kids. In first grade my teacher grabbed me by the ponytail and dragged me backwards across the room. In second grade after a couple tardys my teacher grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me.
Remi (He/Him) 1 year ago
Afaik the teacher who strangled a student in the hallway in front of everyone in our school didn't get any reprimands mainly because it was his own son...
#28
Definitely thought of now in a bad light- catcalling women when they walk by.
#29
Asking someone if they “went to church” upon meeting them. Had to explain to my grandma that doing so would lose me relatability/trust FAST among my age group because that question is no longer kind when asked.
#30
Within extended families, asking another adult member when they were finding a marriage prospect, getting married, having children etc.
Mia Black 1 year ago
This is still around sadly. I was asked nearly every phone talk for 4-6 years into my now (18year) relationship for kids although I made it clear from the first moment that the decision to be childfree stands since I was a child. I think they never got it. Same with alcohol "you still don't drink alcohol? But this one tastes good. Won't you try it?".... Exhausting!!!
#31
Touching strangers. So, for instance, if you were walking behind a woman and saw her tag out on her top, or her collar rucked up, you would just reach out and fix it.
#32
1. More blatant gender discrimination.
2. Commenting on people's bodies.
3. Forcing children to eat all the food on their plates.
#33
Strangers coming up to New mothers and saying "What a cute baby! May I hold them?".
Christina Born 1 year ago
When my oldest boy was about 2wk old we went to a truck stop to eat one night. There was a giant burly trucker eating with some friends at the table next to us that kept looking over at us. It was starting to weird me out. Then he came over and said he was a sucker for babies and asked very nicely if he could hold him. We let him and that big burly guy turned into the biggest teddy with the biggest smile on his face. He stood there and rocked that teeny tiny baby for a good 10min. Totally made his day, you could tell. And honestly? Made mine too. It was just so sweet the way he held my baby so gently and cooed at him.
#34
I had this tall guy in my drama club who just came over to me (shortish girl) and picked me up and hugged me. It wasn’t considered rude at the time, but it pissed me off and I’m still mad he did it.
#35
Call repeatedly until someone answered. No answering machines. Smoking in other's house. My parents didn't smoke but had ashtrays in almost every room. No one asked, they just lit up.
#36
Commenting on stranger’s bodies in a rude way to friends or family, or describing someone with words about their body. Like, see that fat bald guy over there? Or that little fat kid is so funny! Or, omg that boy has so many pimples it’s gross. This kind of thing was normal in the 80s and 90s. As a teenager, being fat was the worst thing you could do. It was awful.
#37
Talking to/playing with unrelated children you found in park or playground.
Jaymi Leigh 1 year ago
This is still a thing. My kids do this all the time, it's called making friends.
#38
I feel like there is more boundary crossing today than previously. As a general rule I was taught to not ask or talk about medical issues or mental health issues or money or ask who one is voting for, how someone died, if they’re transgender (you just assumed based on clothing. If a male looking person was wearing a dress and makeup, we’d assume she wants to be known as a she and it’s impolite to ask). I was taught to never go to someone’s house without calling ahead.
I think there are more physical boundaries now though. Less hugs. Less putting arms around each other. Less unasked for massages. Less older women grabbing a 12 year old girls chest to see how big she’s gotten (I hated that).
#39
Black/brown face (actually never done by anyone I knew with the intent of belittling people), copying peoples’ accents, telling jokes based on nationalities.
Also, groups of kids sitting on some stranger’s curb or front lawn.
#40
Phoning someone without a heads-up text first. I text with my sons all day long. But if one of them calls me out of the blue, my anxiety goes sky-high. It has to be something awful.
Mrs Irish Mom 1 year ago
Im 40 and i ring ppl out of the blue without a heads up and i also answer every call even if its private or a number i dont know, maybe im just weird or nosy 🤷
#41
If you're curious, go (re)watch Madmen. The casual sexism, smoking, smoking indoors, day drinking &c were on point.
cerinamroth 1 year ago
Even though all of that is within my living memory, the thing that took my breath away was when they are out for a picnic and they just shake out the picnic rug and leaving all the rubbish behind on the grass. I don't remember that ever happening!
#42
Fighting.
Playground fights. Rival neighborhood kids fights. Bar fights. Parents fighting at little league. Thursday night scraps outside the bowling alley.
#43
"Girlwatching".
Straight men used to just sit outside and stare at any young woman close enough to be visible, and they could spend hours doing nothing else. I have no idea if they thought the young women liked it, or just didn't care if the young women liked it.
#44
Well, there were a lot of words, which were not considered bad. Most of the people did not know, that they were offensive to others, they just grew up with it and had no alternative word in their vocabulary.
On the other side, you were a social outcast for some time, if a "s**t" left your mouth. Swearing was not OK.
El Dee 1 year ago
Language changes over time, always has. For example the word 'idiot' was once a medical term. People used it offensively so the terminology changed. More recently the British Spastic Foundation had to change their name due to the misuse of the word. This will keep happening as long as people are AHs and use words in an offensive way until the word has to be changed..
#45
Calling women dames, chicks, broads.
#46
A lot of gen x and millennial people never heard about minstrel shows until like 2005 or so; the medium had been entirely memory holed by our grandparents, so we just thought that blackface was vaguely disrespectful without understanding that it was deliberately derogative and denigrating. There aren’t any pictures of me personally in blackface, but just because it was easier to dress up as Wayne’s Gretzky than as Michael Jordan.
What do you think ?
Paul Rabit 1 year ago
I'm willing to bet that many of these still fly in certain parts of the world. Even parts of the western world.
J 1 year ago
My first job (in IT) was in 2007 and I wasn’t allowed pants. Skirts AND PANTYHOSE were REQUIRED for women. Men were required to wear ties. I spent so much money on pantyhose in those years. Ugh.
GirlFriday 1 year ago
Same. My niece is 24 and she told me that she wouldn't even know where to buy pantyhose.
Load More Replies...
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
The questions probably still 'fly' today - but... now, the other person is 'allowed' to say something BACK. Like, before, the only 'acceptable' response to the whole marriage/kids/other inappropriate personal question thing was to smile politely or give an answer they wanted. NOW, at least I wouldn't be absolutely demonized/beaten for saying something like "Well, not planning to have kids" .
DC 1 year ago
If I see drinking culture, whoch actively encourages alcoholism, and only accepts "I'm recovering" as valid enough excuse, I wonder why we fail to establish a culture around smoking, that equally pretends to have style and stuff, but just makes you kill yourself. A service to the planet may as well be executed with regard to aesthetics!
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
Sometimes, it doesn't even accept recovery as a valid excuse.
Load More Replies... Paul Rabit 1 year ago
I'm willing to bet that many of these still fly in certain parts of the world. Even parts of the western world.
J 1 year ago
My first job (in IT) was in 2007 and I wasn’t allowed pants. Skirts AND PANTYHOSE were REQUIRED for women. Men were required to wear ties. I spent so much money on pantyhose in those years. Ugh.
GirlFriday 1 year ago
Same. My niece is 24 and she told me that she wouldn't even know where to buy pantyhose.
Load More Replies... D. Pitbull 1 year ago
The questions probably still 'fly' today - but... now, the other person is 'allowed' to say something BACK. Like, before, the only 'acceptable' response to the whole marriage/kids/other inappropriate personal question thing was to smile politely or give an answer they wanted. NOW, at least I wouldn't be absolutely demonized/beaten for saying something like "Well, not planning to have kids" .
DC 1 year ago
If I see drinking culture, whoch actively encourages alcoholism, and only accepts "I'm recovering" as valid enough excuse, I wonder why we fail to establish a culture around smoking, that equally pretends to have style and stuff, but just makes you kill yourself. A service to the planet may as well be executed with regard to aesthetics!
AMaureen Dance 1 year ago
Sometimes, it doesn't even accept recovery as a valid excuse.
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