Conspiracy theories are still alive and well in the year of our lord 2024. 54% Americans, for example, believe that Lee Harvey Oswald did not definitely or probably did not act alone in the assassination of John F. Kennedy.
But there are some conspiracy theories so silly that it's hard to believe anyone would think they're true. One person recently asked online, "What’s the most absurd conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard?" And people had all sorts of answers, from the moon being a hologram to JFK's head just bursting open on its own. So don't hesitate and scroll away for some conspiracy entertainment!
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That a reality TV game show clown, who committed sexual assault and ran a fraudulent charity and a fraudulent university, and ripped off blue collar contractors, had a presidential election "stolen" from him.
It's number 1 now, so awesome job pandas!!
Load More Replies...Oh, but the madness goes deeper. Said reality show clown also gets convicted of dozens of felonies, and still is on track to potentially win the presidency. Beggars belief.
He's not going to win. But, he will claim voter fraud and stolen election again like a pouting child.
Load More Replies...My prediction is 3 days after he loses, he will file paperwork to run in the 2028 election. Mark my words. This way, he gets to fundraise and again steal all the money the rubes send in.
If he gets elected in 2028, he’ll be 82. That’s too old to run for president, he’s even said so himself!
Load More Replies...This is now number one. Post number two is having a temper tantrum because the vote was rigged.
I'd love to see the other works of this author. It sounds like almost unreal, but then again, it's so close to reality, that I wonder how their other works of fiction mght capture the same spirit, as it's a really narrow tightrope to walk on not to fall-off into unbelievability. Like, if they added too much details, like a hideous trademark haircut or a cheap catchphrase, then I'd have a problem believing it, even suspending doubts for the sake of the story would be sorta complicated then.
There is an underground group of billionaires controlling the world
Buddy, there's already an above ground group of billionaires controlling the world.
Vladimir Putin is likely the actual richest individual person currently alive on Earth but it's virtually impossible to put a number on it. Even the CIA, MI6 and UN aren't entirely sure.
Load More Replies...I always love this idea. Of course buddy, there are more rich and powerful people than ever before on this planet, yet suddenly they all manage to get along flawlessly and aren't hating each other's guts. You get the feeling that they are in control and aligned, because there is indeed something they share: a common class interest to stay rich and become richer. Roch people simply have more class consciousness than working class people.
Don't underestimate your role in society. Every little bit counts. Your money can make a statement as well.
The profits will trickle down.
Even if trickle down theory worked, why should the worker class only deserve a trickle of the wealth? After all, the workers are the ones doing all the labor while management plays golf.
Sounds like socialism to me. And yes, I'm all for it. We need some socialism
Load More Replies...Hey, let's give rich people more money and maybe they'll let us work for them to get it back!!
"oh yeah,,, when the rich folks get more money they'll suddenly want to share it"
Trickle down economics is merely the wealthy pissing on the poor and working classes.
Last year when the Chinese lunar rover saw that strange square rock out in the distance, I heard some people claim that it was the stage they used to fake the moon landings. On the moon…
Yeah, it turned out to be just a rock.
So the easiest way to fake the moon landing is to go to the moon? Wait a second...
The problem is the director they hired to fake the moon landing wan given unlimited budget and insisted on filming in location
Load More Replies...They hired Stanley Kubric to film the fake landing, but because he's a perfectionist he filmed it on location.
"There's nothing out there. No aliens, no Zargon warships - just you, me, the Cat, and a lot of floatin' smeggin' rocks!"
Two of my favourite: USA never landed on Moons, it's all fake. There are secret lunar military bases.
What might look like a hill in the background of this Apollo 15 photo, is actually the mountain Mons Hadley, which with its 4.5 kilometer peak lies somewhere between Mount Rainer in Washington, USA and Mont Blanc, the highest mountain of the Alps! It is absolutely enormous and I always thought it was just a hill. Blew my mind when I learned that. Must have been an expensibe movie set piece...
Flat earthers. I don't think they actually believe, I think they are all just trolling us.
Best argument I've ever heard to refute this nonsense: If the world were flat, cats would have pushed everything off the edge by now.
Of course the Earth is flat. How else would it stay on the turtle?
Load More Replies...It's basically a cult. They don't really believe it but apparently the admissions gain free access to perks.
Probably a recruitment ground to select the most gullible for nefarious conspiracies
Load More Replies...That was photoshop: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/flat-earth-society-facebook/
Load More Replies...Why don't any of these flat earth nuts point out the edge to the rest of us?
I remember them trying to do some experiment with lasers or something once to disprove the curvature of the earth. They accidentally proved that the earth is round and never talked about it again 😂 like ostriches with their heads in the sand. you can find it on YouTube
Load More Replies...I worked in many a psychiatric facility and I never once met someone who believed the earth was flat. It is amazing to me that people can "out crazy" people in psychiatric facilities.
Load More Replies...Of course it's flat. For millions of years there were huge dinosaurs stomping all over it. Stands to reason it would be flattened.
Those sad people just want to belong to some group. I guess there's a slot for every peg.
Founders certainly don't (didn't, in case they passed) believe it, many are there for laughs, the remaining ones probably have certifiable mental health issues.
The Covid lockdowns were there to replace the birds with bird-like drones.
And the purpose of the bird-like drones is to be caught by cats and brought into your house so they can see what you look like from your kitchen floor.
Birds are Real movement is a satirical conspiracy theory cosplay movement- its intended as satire and is brilliant, esp. when they crash MAGA events. When people claim the election was stolen, BAR members with signs take photos next to them to discredit the Trumpers.
No matter the reason I could do another round. Too many people where I live. Miss the times when there were only a few people in the supermarket and out and about!
So THAT'S why the sparrows in my garden now sound more like lawn mowers. Ah, mystery solved!
Pizzagate. Never would have thought that anyone would fall for it. But damn, right wingers are stupid.
The claim was that a group of wealthy liberal politicians, celebrities, business people - all the left-wing boogeymen that give the right-wingers nightmares - were running a child trafficking ring out of the basement of a pizza restaurant in Washington, DC. The fact that the restaurant in question doesn't even have a basement didn't seem to matter to the theorists.
Load More Replies...You know we right-wingers thought you lefties were stupid in believing something like this. Just goes to show neither one of us are correct and that we don't know squat about each other
"Lefties" didn't believe in Pizzagate. And you're right, you don't know anything.
Load More Replies...This one was the most hysterical to me. I went down the rabbit hole with this one because I was genuinely curious, and it read like fiction, straight from a textbook about conspiracy theories. Almost like an experiment. I couldn't believe anyone eould actually... well... believe it. And yet, people did! I don't think it's just stupidity, I think people don't want to accept that the world is more black and white than they think. And some people need to stop watching TV.
I thought this was about the Manchester United and Arsenal incident in October 2004. How wrong I was reading the comments!.
Back in the 1920s Al Smith ran for president. It was notable because he was the first candidate to run who was Catholic. During that time a picture of him during the opening of the Holland Tunnel in New York made the rounds in newspapers around the country.
So what did anti-Catholic nutjobs believe? They believed that he was going to build a tunnel from New York to the Vatican in order to take direct orders from the Pope. Not a metaphorical tunnel where the pope would have his ears, but a *literal* tunnel that one could walk or presumably take a train or something to have direct communication with the pope. An actual tunnel from New York, under the Atlantic, to mainland Europe, all the way to Rome.
Dumbass, absurd conspiracy theories are nothing new.
Well they would have too but were thwarted by the mid Atlantic ridge. It’s only recently we’ve developed the technology to tunnel beneath it, so you’ve got to watch out for future Catholic presidents
Um, excuse me, but um, you could make international telephone calls in the 1920s...
I recall a certain amount of anxiety about JFK being president because he was Catholic.
There was a not so serious rumor that, after Smith lost the election, he sent the pope a one-word telegram - "Unpack".
Huh...so what you're saying is some protestant folks are nutty? Have you ever been to an Assembly of God church service? THAT would remove ALL doubt.
The 100% female, Chinese army, who have never been nerfed by blue light, that are biding their time in underground bunkers in the mountains of China.
According to my neighbor, the one child policy was introduced as a way for China to secretly build up an army of specially trained soldiers. There was never a mass killing of baby girls. They were all sent to underground facilities where they would spend their entire lives being trained in combat and espionage. They will only reveal themselves when China decides to attack the US mainland.
Also! China adds the harmful blue light to the electronics they ship around the world in order to cripple the military might of other countries by wreaking havoc on their sleep cycles. Prolonged sleep deprivation in a large population can cause widespread mental illness and behavioral problems that will follow any service person into their military career. China doesn't give their lady-soldiers any electronics with blue light, so they stay in perfect sync with their circadian rhythm and avoid the mental illnesses and behavioral problems that currently affect much of today's youth.
When I asked why China only wanted women super soldiers, he said that the final stage in their plan for world domination was forced repopulation (because obviously the war would tank the US population) with Chinese genes. By having each female soldier get pregnant with a surviving US man's child, those children would have dual citizenship, and if enough US citizens had Chinese citizenship then they would control the US no matter what the end result of the war was.
Gotta love crazy neighbors 🤪
Edit: My inbox is full of people telling me this is all fetish stuff, but I truly believe my neighbor is too scared to be horny. Unless he's rocking a fear-ection along with his tin foil hat, this is all just crazy doing as crazy does.
If there's an army of perfect Chinese women who want to get pregnant, where is that, and how can I help?
Load More Replies...Well, I wouldnt put it past China to keep women underground and hidden... but probably not for the reasons listed above.
That edit to top it off made me lol 😂 definitely a lot wrong with OP's neighbor. How tf did they even come up with a theory that off the wall?
Having spent the COVID lockdown cooped up with wife and three daughtets, I simply cannot conceive several million female killing machines living in underground bunkers for decades.
These soldiers are part of Division K, as in K-Mart, because they are the blue light special forces.
Circadian rhythm unnuked in UNDERGROUND bunkers? But I can beat that. Had a troll who was a history teacher tell me that China was buying up so much because they were coming here to take all our water. That's right, they were going to cross THE PACIFIC OCEAN to take all our water.
Finland Isn’t Real.
A high school kid made it up as a joke, and a whole lot of people took him seriously.
I'm currently in Finland, can confirm we're just floating in a boundless void
Nah, you just live in Sweden but don't know it. I think that is what the joke said.
Load More Replies...Nope, we just like to pop up in odd places on the planet.
Load More Replies...Of course Bielefeld DOES exist!!! Bielefeld is where the Illuminati are hiding the access to Atlantis and the Hollow Earth!
Load More Replies...Of course it real, Where else would Whales and Dolphins go on vacation?
I mean. Finland has about .9% of the world population. Even the best surveys are ≈1% accurate. This means there's a less than 50% chance Finland doesn't exist.
Your mountains so lofty... Your treetops so tall... Finland Finland Finland... Finland has it all
Nearly all celebrities are transgender. "Transvestigators" pore over pictures and videos of famous people, pointing out how "she has a strong jawline" or "he has feminine body language". Apparently, the whole world is controlled by a secret trans cult, and if you want to become famous, you need to transition.
There are still idiots online claiming she's a man.
Load More Replies...That a plucky group of oil executives and politicians are the only thing that stands between us and the ravages of evil climate scientists.
We used to be told that the oil executives were suppressing the "one hundred miles per gallon carburetor '. Turns out they knew about the affect of carbon dioxide on the climate and spent a boatload of money fighting the science.
“The climate naturally changes over time, this is normal!” /s 😂
Load More Replies...
I'm swinging between two.
CT-A: Western dairy manufacturers put pigs milk in cheese to prevent Muslims from going to heaven after they die. This is absurd because pigs are super hard to milk; their milk isn't a whole lot per pig; it lasts hours, not days; and their milk tastes like hot tar smells.
Edit: Yes, the taste is first hand. I asked once as a kid (Farmer relatives.) and I was fed a teaspoon of fresh pigs milk. Milk of magnesia tastes better. Yuck.
CT-B: Nuclear weapons doesn't exist. Self-explanatory.
Not Muslim, but I had family members actually believe they purposely used pork enzymes to make cheese. I told them it was the stupidest thing I ever heard and I'm going to continue eating cheese. Later they finally admitted that they found out it was a hoax, however, the companies who made cheese would do something like that. Told them, you expect me to believe they would purposely add a costly ingredient when it already occurs naturally? They said yes. Number of reasons why I walked away from extremist religious views. But this one really sealed it for me.
Pig milk would not be necessary. Bacon drippings would accomplish the same thing and are certainly plentiful.
Contrails in the sky are a chemicals that makes you gay.
I must have spent months frolicking through contrails (gaily of course).
If frolicking is gay, straight people go gallivanting. And asexual folks just stroll. If you're super gay though you promenade.
Load More Replies...My wife thinks they make them intentionally to find out if it will rain or not the next day
There is a logic to that. If the air is dry you get less trails so probably no rain. It's hardly scientific, but it's at least slightly true.
Load More Replies...or sick and it's a big pharma thing, or really obediant and complient, which is a government control thing, or....
My (former) father-in-law is a big believer of this one. I went to a special place in my head when he spoke.
They don't make you gay, they make you vote for (insert political party here).
JFK and/or JFK Jr are alive and are going to show up in Dealy Plaza to help Trump in his quest to save America.
First off, they're not alive. Even if JFK faked his death he would be like 110 by now. Second off, if they were going to show up it sure as hell wouldn't be in the exact location that Sr's head got blown off. Finally, they were both liberal Democrats, so the last person they would be helping would be Trump.
If Trump supporters are willing to believe he's fit for the presidency, they'll believe anything.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
When this one first started making the rounds years ago I kept wondering: ok guys, what are you hoping for at this point? How could all of you be so far gone that you'd not only believe something like this, but create it in the first place? And save America? From what?
The moon is a hologram because the real moon was blown up by nukes (possibly by Nazis?) and we would apparently just all go insane if we looked up at the sky and didn’t see a moon so they had to make a fake one.
Nah... Tides are caused by wobbly spinning of the Flat Earth disc.
Load More Replies...I actually read a novel about this premise once--I almost want to say it was a Star Trek novel but it's been a while so I can't remember for sure. Also might be getting the details wrong, but the basic plot was that the good guys come across a primitive world where the bad guys are mining the moon for resources, destabilizing it enough that the moon is destroyed. Realizing the primitives on the planet below are moon worshipers whose society will descend into chaos if the moon is suddenly gone, the good guys basically put up a giant theater flat of the moon in its place, so that nothing will seem amiss. They even equip it will gravity generators so it won't affect the planet's orbit or the tides. When one of the ship's officers questions the effectiveness of such a plan ( which makes me think it might have been Kirk or Janeway), the captain replies with something along the lines of "Hopefully by the time they discover space travel, we'll come up with a better explanation."
Well the moon isn’t there most of the time I look up and I haven’t gone insane soooo
Why couldn't we live without the moon being visible. I understand that the moon has an impact on our environment, but the aesthetics alone, why would that cause madness.
Einstein once said he didn't believe in quantum theory, because he believed that the moon was there even if he weren't looking at it.
There's one that's prevalent in the Middle East about Prince William. The theory is that, the Church of England was involved in the death of Princess Diana.
How does this work? Well, the theory is that Diana was about to marry Dodi al Fayed and to do so, would have to become a Muslim. This would mean that Prince William would have to become a Muslim (according to the theory, not according to reality) and then the whole of the UK would be forced to convert to Islam.
It's completely ridiculous, but in some parts of the Middle East it's taken as fact.
Only in poor simply minded controlled states where they believe in absolute power. Everyone in the UK, apart from s**t eating politicians, would be telling them to f**k right off. I don't know a single person who is a church goer.
Huh. I’m Canadian but you just made me realize, I don’t know anyone who’s a church-goer either (they’re not really my kind of people lol, I’m too excited by science and too fascinated by math and the way the universe works)
Load More Replies...Why would anyone in the Middle East think this? Dodi al Fayed wasn't Middle Eastern, he was Egyptian. From Egypt, in Africa. *edit for spelling.
Utter BS, can't believe Muslims believe this. For starters: you don't need to convert to Islam if you are Christian and marry a Muslim man. Source: I (non-Muslim woman) was married to a Muslim for 10 years.
And even if she did, why would Prince William convert? And if he did, he wouldnt be allowed to be king (Anglicans only). And even if the Act of Setllement 1701 was repealed, and King William converted, why would the UK then have to be Muslim?! Only 15% of the population are Anglican with an Anglican king now. Just so stupid in so many stupid ways.
Load More Replies...Ok. So let me get this straight: Diana was killed because she was a descendant of Jesus--perhaps the most famous Jew--but was on the verge of converting to Islam and was therefore assassinated by the CoE, which is an off-shoot of Catholicism, invented because Henry VIII wanted to get divorced. That's three major world religions covered... LOL
If all the people in the UK became Muslims, I'm sure that would take Islam just as seriously then as they take the Church of England now.
I should certainly hope so. Unfortunately people who convert (VOLUNTARILY!) are usually extra strict in their beliefs, and particularly eager to "save" others, too.
Load More Replies...There's also the belief by some that the Royals are descended from the Prophet Muhammad via Princess Zaida of Seville (who later converted to christianity). It's all a bit vague and maybe it's true. A bit like how if you are european you are descended from Charlamange or how 16 million men are descendants of Ghenghis Khan.
That light bulbs don't emits light but are "Dark suckers" instead.
Of course this one is true: when a lamp is new, it's transparent. When it's old it gets some black spots and finally it becomes black when it's capacity to absorb dark is exhausted. I never heard this as a conspiracy theory, but as a standard joke in physics and engineering. Of course it does not work with LED lights anymore, but the old filament light bulbs (surely the opaque ones) "proved" this, as well as the fluorescent tubes (where the ends gradually gave less and less light). It's twin brother is that machines and electronics work by smoke and when the smoke comes out, they thus stop working. In fact it's more than a joke, but a hint that more than one explanations seems possible and the obvious one might be wrong. Think about "centrifugal force". Or the earth at the center of the universe.
I've heard of the magic blue smoke in the machines, but this one is new and sounds like a fun thought experiment
Load More Replies...I am curious, as I've not heard this one before. Is this just people with psychiatric issues?
The only legit place this could be a thing is on Terry Pratchetts Discworld.
Light isn't that fast. Darkness must be faster than light, because it is already there by the time the light reaches it. Perfect sense!
Load More Replies...My grandson and I said this 40 years ago, just to pull his very literal and science-minded sister's (who was 8 or so at the time) chain. Then we added that bridges had rails along the outside edges to keep gravity from getting up on the road and dragging cars off. We were bad. (She later said that it really got her thinking why what we said was wrong.)
Someone was trying to explain this to me at a party in the mid 90s, he was serious, and a little emo 😹
Just watch the series "The Expanse". The future apparently has no light bulb bright enough to illuminate the complete inside of a spacecraft or space colony. There are only the LED panel displays available to light the room. It must be all that space sucking the light out of the space crafts.
There were no gunmen in Dallas. JFK's head just did that. It's called the "no bullet theory".
Hey RFK jr has that brain worm 😂 left him with very little in the dome
Load More Replies...''Yeah, Tom Jones was seen singing there, just like in ''Mars Attacks'' ''
"Mr president, I heard a rumor that the back of your head was about to explode."
There is something called exploding head syndrome. Not like this, but, kinda wack.
*jumps on the counter* That will make the soft can-opener's head explode.
Someone mentioned Paul McCartney, but only in passing.
The "Paul is Dead" conspiracy suggests Paul died in 1966 and was replaced with a lookalike/soundalike/write-alike because The Beatles were too famous to shut down, but meanwhile they drop hints into future songs to let 'real fans' know something isn't right.
Aside from it being ridiculous on its face, I will point out all the stuff Paul McCartney has done since 1966 means if he was replaced with a doppleganger, that doppleganger is now much, much more accomplished than Paul ever was, so maybe it's a good thing he was waiting anonymously in the wings to replace one half of the Lennon-McCartney songwriting duo without a hiccough or word of protest from the other Beatles, two of whom would have been only too delighted to get more solo songwriting credit if Paul was no longer able to contribute instead of being the workaholic of the group.
At the time, and for a brief period of time a lot of people believed it. The Beatles made fun of the whole thing.
I was a teenager in 1966. I remember my older sister crying her eyes out - for days - on the rumor that Paul is dead. (If you play "Revolution Number 9" backwards - which you could do with an LP - you hear John say "Turn me on dead man". I remember my sister doing this over and over and over. I think she ruined the stylus.)
I was a young kid when this was out there. I even bought a magazine about it, complete with photographic analysis to "prove" that this was a fake Paul. Crossing Abbey Road barefoot, playing a track backwards (i did that on my phonograph) said "turn me on dead man", etc. I was all in. I was also just 8 years old!
The replacement was supposedly named Billy Shears, as in "I'd like to introduce to you the one and only Billy Shears - and Sgt Pepper's Loney Hearts Club Band."
The cues were more than ridiculous. Some people believed they heard the words "I buried Paul" in the end of the recording of "Strawberry Fields" - the Beatles have long since clarified the mumbled word in question was indeed "cranberry sauce". Which is by far the least strange part of this song...
Sorry, but your post was not written well enough to make any sense.
My grandma told me recently that I shouldn’t be giving my daughter M&Ms after posting a cute video of her enjoying them.
See my grandma turned into a q anoner and shes convinced that the democrats are actually demons and that they are going to activate nano bots in ( M&M )to stop everyones hearts using the 5g network.
She even puts her stuff in a special bag to block signals when she is meeting with her nutjub friends.
So ya, thats all I got for now. I love my grandma and trying to help her see reason.
Right now I'm reading a random German sci-fi thriller whose plot is exactly this. Maybe the gran has read it and got her facts mixed.
What is it about Grandmas anyhow? Mine used to believe everything she read in The National Enquirer. She'd bring those with her on a visit and then read them aloud to us.
To paraphrase Terry Pratchett: "They wouldn't be allowed to print it if it wasn't true!" (which, in case that wasn't clear, is absolute bull$it, bat$hit, and a number of other $hits, too)
Load More Replies...Why on earth would they do that using M&Ms where there's a perfectly good covid vaccine for it?
Maybe she shouldn't be giving her daughter M&M's because some children are hyper sensitive to food dyes, but I think the part about government mind control though Wi-fi might be a little off the mark.
"a little off the mark": my, you ARE generous! They'd be closer TO the mark if they aimed for their carpet and shattered the neighbour's skylight.
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Skittles and M&Ms were secretly created by Big Pharma to condition kids to the idea of associating pill-shaped candies as delicious, so they are subconsciously predisposed to being addicted to pills as an adult.
That really is far-fetched. Everyone knows pills taste disgusting. It would be more plausible to believe banana amoxicillin made kids crave banana flavoured anything to boost the sale of banana flavoured stuff.
Even that wouldn't work - I still can't bear cherry flavour after a childhood course of Terramycin
Load More Replies...My opiate pill addiction started in 2007 with my wisdom teeth where the dentist would keep repeatedly filling my quickly empty bottles of vicodin. I was lucky to have been able to move across country and start a new life away from my triggers. Clean since 2009.
And Reese's Pieces were created to make us believe that aliens are just friendly lost travelers who aren't actually going to destroy our civilization.
Wasn't a fan of either of those as a kid, so find another reason to explain my addiction as an adult.
Wasn't that why Pac-Man was created? To get kids used to walking around swallowing little round things while listening to techno music.
I would actually be impressed if that were true. It would mean there's some real brains at big pharma.
Reptiles. A local newspaper went as far as pointing out features you can use to recognize them and according to said features, I am a lizard too.
EDIT: Reptilians! I meant reptilians. Still am a lizard apparently, though.
I dunno - I think a lot of people are ruled by their lizards brains instead of their rational one🤷🏻♀️
Lots of men are also ruled by their lizards. Especially between the ages of 16 and 98. Speaking as a man myself.
Load More Replies...Yeah, there was actually a whole documentary series about this back in the 80's. I think it was called "V"...
I remember that show! It scared the hell out of me as a kid!
Load More Replies...Imagine how good the effects would have been on the original series with *actual* lizard people...
Load More Replies...I love that this is a screengrab from the Today Show in Australia. Karl would be laughing himself stupid at this.
As indeed he did -> https://www.9news.com.au/world/conspiracy-theorist-david-icke-clashes-with-today-show-hosts-over-aliens-and-the-moon/3c5c44b9-6603-46f5-a48a-d6455bff74ce
Load More Replies...I am a reptile! I have my space heater, my plants, ny antidepressant sun lamp, my air purifier, my humidifier, my enrichment activities. I transformed my house into a large terrarium!
My cousin believes this theory. I once’s asked him how lizard people came into existence. Like, are they a lab created hybrid or did humans and lizards mate at some point? Cousin looked at me in bewilderment and said, “You think lizards and humans mated? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” I’ve heard dumber, lizard boy.
I don't know about lizzards but I have met a lot of snakes in the grass.
That Princess Diana was murdered because she was a descendant of Jesus.
These are actually getting funnier and funnier. I haven't heard quite a few of these.
Well it didn't work because that means William and Harry are descendants of Jesus, not to mention their sprogs
Clarification: The Spencer family are descended from the Merovingians of France. The Merovingians supposedly are descended from Jesus and Mary Magdalen. Nonsense of course. Jesus' wife was Rebecca.
How many children did Yeshua father? I can't find that in my King James translation.
A coworker was convinced that the Covid vaccine was used to “herd the sheep” and kill the “demoncrats”. Everyone who had the vaccine was going to die according to him, so I let him know that if that happened the country would collapse. There wouldn’t be enough people to run water plants, electric plants, etc. he then told me they have people on stand by to replace that idiots who took the vaccine. I asked him where the 200 million people were at that were replacing the 200 million that were gonna die. And he looked at me like I was the idiot.
But everyone who had the vaccine IS going to die. Mortality rate for humans is 100% (well, minus one if you believe in Jesus)
Yea, I had both Moderna and Pfizer and yes, I'm dead. In have a acquaintance who bought into the anti vax theories. He caught covid in 2022 at first he was OK but after a week ended up in hospital for 2 months, Lung damage, still can't work. He's still convinced that it wasn't covid, the doctors say it was covid because they get paid but he government to say so, and that they tried to kill him because he "knows the truth"
I swear Covid denialists have the worst case of “main character syndrome” ever 😂
Load More Replies...I'm still freaking mad I didn't get magnetic of 5G wifi superpowers from the covid vaxx. Damn anti-vaxxers lied to me. I even bought purple and red spandex and a cape in preparation to become a supervillain!
Same! I was actually so ready to have free wifi everywhere I went, kind of POd that they lied to me. I’m not even magnetic!
Load More Replies...Anything that starts with "the jews...".
Would that include the theory you just proposed?
Load More Replies...I mean they think we run the world in some sort of conspiracy theory, but you cant even get 3 of us to agree on anything. I mean famously Levi Eshkol visited LBJ at the White House in 1964 and they talked about politics, and LBJ asked him why he was having so much trouble passing certain policies, he told LBJ "you are president of a country of 200 million people, I am Prime Minister of a country with 2.5 million people who all think they are also prime ministers"
Two Jews, three opinions...2.5 million Jews, 3.75 million opinions...
Load More Replies...That people whose blood group has a minus after it, like mine does, aren't descended from the same ape creatures the rest of the world is. That the minus proves our lineage was "introduced" to the gene-pool, instead of evolved.
That confirms it! I'm an alien. Never fit in with y'all earthlings anyway…
The sovereign citizen BS they read and believe.
I’ve seen bodycam footage of “sovereign citizens” trying to get out of traffic violations in the US. It isn’t immediate, but they DO get metaphorically told to f**k off by the cops breaking the windows of their cars, forcibly extracting them, arresting them, then taking them to jail—-with way more charges liked on top of the one that was the original reason they were stopped. Basically, they turn a warning for a taillight out into charges for resisting arrest, plus anything else they did while spouting the b******t they think legally makes them exempt from the actual laws. It’s more c**p from people who want to do whatever they want and not suffer the consequences for it.
Load More Replies...Most police officers will tell you that some of the most dangerously unpredictable people they deal with are "sovereign citizens".
People in Australia were printing of the USA one during covid...wish I could have told them they were more stupid than I thought but I needed to keep my job, so I printed them, and told them silently, with a mask on, that they are idiots
Every one I heard of claiming that soverign citizen stuff has landed in jail somewhere.
Avril Lavigne died in 2003 and was replaced by an exact double called Melissa. People in the YouTube comments of her videos analysing her face and movements to determine if it's really her or Melissa, absolutely wild.
Apparently there's a similar one for Paul McCartney.
Can it still even be considered eye”liner” at that point?
Load More Replies...Yes but Paul IS Dead! Didn't you know? It's in the Abbey Road album, if you play certain tracks backwards LOL. Remember the days when ppl would play songs backwards to hear hidden, mostly satanic, messages?
And because he wasn't wearing shoes on the cover, apparently that is an indication someone is dead.
Load More Replies...There's a podcast on BBC Sounds called "Who Replaced Avril Lavigne?" that's worth a listen. I hadn't heard of the ct but this light hearted exploration of the theory and the explanations for what has been observed was actually quite interesting.
The Joe Rogan hoax that kids were identifying as cats so there were litter boxes set in school hallways.
As someone pointed out elsewhere, an easy way to prove this is BS is to remind everyone that school janitors have a union.
The easiest way to disprove it is: we heard it from Joe Rogan, not from all the school kids on the internet, because going viral is not a thing.
Load More Replies...The actual thing about the litter boxes was they were looking for ways to have kids be able to relieve themselves during an active shooter situation. Can't exactly go down the hall to the bathroom when somebody's trying to kill everybody they see
It is a very sad fact that the U.S. do indeed have drills and precautions for active shooter situations and that those are such a prominent part fo school in the states. Ranked by occurence since 2009, Mexico had had a total of 8 shool shootings, followed by South Africa with 6, Nigeria with 4 and Afghanistan with 3. Countries like Germany or Hungary had one. In the meantime, the U.S. had a sickening total of 288. And yet people still do insist that gun laws are too strict...
Load More Replies...This is still so prevalent just 2 days ago my aunt was trying to tell me it is a real thing. No, it is not a real thing that is happening. You are not allowed to bring a substance that can be toxic to kids growing bodies and leave it out for them. Get real.
Wouldn’t doubt it.. with all the therians finally showing themselves people are bound to put litter boxes in the hallways at some point to shame them!
Jewish space lasers.
... if I was a jew owning a space laser, I'd say the same...
Load More Replies...Israel's moon colonists forgot to take a bread knife so that's how they slice their bagels.
Would that be a space laser that is circumcised and had had a Bar Mitzvah?
Er, those do exist, and we *are* using them to incinerate people, but I'm worried that my order to incinerate Marjorie Taylor Green for exposing The Truth(TM) is going to finally be put into action after she's dead. I mean, really, what are you supposed to do with your space laser, if not use it to incinerate MTG?
Uhoh I heard the explosion from here
Load More Replies...I don't know where it came from or how wide-spread it was, but when Obama's grandmother died, my batshit aunt and uncle were positive he had her murdered because she was about to spill the beans that he was really born in Kenya.
One of the most poignant things I ever saw from the Repub's...John McCain telling the woman who questioned if he(Obama) was American. McCain shut her right down....he was a REAL Republican, even though the "Orange God" didn't like him because he was captured. And vet's still fall for his (Trump's) BS.
Just remember, back in 2008, Trump was the single biggest backer of Clinton's campaign (he was her biggest donor for her first 2 senate runs) and back then held dozens of major Democrat fundraisers. Sometime between the 2012 election and 2015, Trump went from a big Democrat donor and backer, to starting the Maga movement.
Load More Replies...Guess what? His mother was American so it wouldn't matter where he was born. If one of your parents is American you are a "Natural Born Citizen" no matter where you are born.
That the Powerball lottery in the US was created to catch time-travellers.
Why would they want to catch one, is time travel against the law already? I know it is in the future, but not now.
I read this as it has "kid logic" to it and was like "that's very on point" then realized you were saying "kind of logic"
Load More Replies...Michelle Obama was born male and the Obama's children were both born through a surrogate.
No Hollow Earth Theory?!? Anytime somebody's says the Earth is flat, I hit them up with this!
I've read Michelle Obama's book 'Becoming'. She is female, but their children were conceived via IVF.
No it's that she's his best friend Michael that apparently they were very close. That's how the theory goes.
Load More Replies...That the titanic was switched with its sister ship and wasn’t really sunk.
There were two sister ships: Olympic and Britannic. Britannic hit a mine and also sank. Olympic was scrapped during the Depression in the 30's.
The "sister ships" in any case were not identical to the Titanic, similar in size and design, but not copies.
Load More Replies...It's actually a fun documentary to watch but there's no way it could have been feasible because it supposedly happened over a weekend and there is no way that that many people kept a secret that long
40 days is how long the two of them were in dry dock together, which is the only time that it could have been done. Titanic didn't really have much on top deck and was bare metal. Somehow it only took 40 days to make Titanic to the same specs as Olympic, plop funnels on her, fully paint her, furnish her, carpet her, and do seaworthiness tests; while at the same time strip Olympic of her paint, funnels, most of her upper decks, furniture, and carpets; with both ships dominating the Belfast skyline, in late 1911? The entirety of Belfast would have seen, I doubt any company has enough hush money for the whole of Belfast.
Load More Replies...Ah, this one. Claims that the Titanic and Olympic were interchangeable (they weren't) ad that it was Olympic that sank because they exchanged them to scupper Olympic for the insurance money (Titanic was underinsured so that is c**p) because her keel was damaged in the collision with HMS Hawke (the damage to Olympic by Hawke's ship ram was so minor that ship rams were discontinued on military ships as they were ineffective).
By one single grifter in the 90s spreading bs about a company defunct since the 30s?
Load More Replies...The Britannic did, but it was built after Titanic and sank in WW1. The Olympic was scrapped in the 1930s to create jobs scrapping her.
Load More Replies...Bill Gates implanting Microchips in people with a covid 19 vaccination.
Hi, Bill! Each time I receive a covid vaccination I hope you can see me clearer and clearer.
My sister's husband believes this one. I'm grateful she gets her way when vaccinating their kid. It didn't go well when I mentioned what possibly could have a microchip... his phone, his truck, his boat... the Alexa he bought, the camera my sister got to monitor her dogs, the toy robot I bought my nephew 🤣. Honestly, I went on and on. I included kitchen appliances too.
Bill doesn’t need to do that. We can all be tracked through our cell phones now.
I have 2 SIL's who truly believe this. I'm being honest by telling you they are both mentally ill and are easy targets for stupid theories like these. Watching the anxiety it caused them was sad. I've heard several versions. Honestly, when they say they can chip me and I'll have all the features of a smart phone, COUNT ME IN! I have nothing to hide.
Lindsey Lohan actually had a twin sister who played the twin in The Parent Trap, but between filming and release, the twin died in a car accident, so they marketed the film to make you think Lindsey played both roles.
That's ridiculous--everybody knows that it was Haley Mills twin who died in a boating accident during the filming of the original 1961 Parent Trap.
T2 Sarah Connor actress really had a twin who helped in the double mom scenes but didn´t die. Look it up.
Just the other day in the conspiracy sub
”the vax has killed 17 million people”.
And for some reason only anti-vaxxers know someone who has died from the Vax.
Exactly 😂 I know people who died because they weren’t vaccinated. But me and all my vaxxed friends are thriving and doing well these days 🤷♀️
Load More Replies...Where'd they put all these 17 million dead people? Where are the mass graves?
Trump said, "If you tell people something enough times, eventually they start to believe it". A perfect example. Sad all around.
To be factually accurate because the world doesn't need more disinformation; Trump was quoted saying his opponents were doing that. He wasn't saying he himself was performing Hitler's Big Lie. But in my personal opinion it was projection - he totally believes in the power of doing that. Politicians are professional liars but he is a liar of athletic proportions.
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That Microsoft employees were the ones buying up PS5s and causing the console shortage.
I firmly believe that the new systems are manufactured in low numbers to create a shortage and in turn more hype
That's not a conspiracy theory--there are former executives from both Microsoft and Nintendo who have admitted as much.
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Albert Einstein didn't exist and was just a character played by Marilyn Monroe.
I think they're confusing Marilyn Monroe with Walter Matthau. Easy mistake...
Yeah, this one is so stupid I can't even believe it's an actual CT.
Load More Replies...ok, so I'm looking at some dates (births and deaths) and I need someone to explain this one to me.
That the Santa Claus letter writing campaign was a covert operation to database Canadian and American children. You'd write a letter to H0H 0H0 postal code with your name, return address, fingerprints on the letter, and DNA on the licked envelope adhesive.
Nonsense. That would be obtained in the hospitals when they're first born. Not all kids celebrate Christmas and write to Santa. Ridiculous theory.
The X files actually showed a dna archive made with pieces of umbilical cord spanning decades. I could believe that one.
Load More Replies...Where do kids actually mail letters? We just left them with the Christmas Eve milk and cookies
They just take your DNA when you are born. And your fingerprint when you need a passport.🤷♀️
This could actually be done so we know it's not true. Does anyone else find it impossible to remember Canadian postal codes?
It's always going to be flat Earth. Surreal that in the 21st century there is a non-zero number of people who actually believe the planet is flat.
Bah, everyone knows that the world isn't flat. It's a vampire, set to drain....
With secret destroyers that hold you up to the flame.
Load More Replies...I wonder if flat earthers think the other planets are flat too. Or do they think there are not other planets at all and the images are all AI. Is the moon flat? I am legit curious
My mum believes earth is flat simply because she has a feeling and that it’s her opinion so I should respect it instead of showing her proof
This sounds more like a schoolyard spoof/prank just to get kids running off to the toilets to test it out.
You will have a lot of fun googling just how serious people take flat earth. People have died.
Load More Replies...Agartha - the idea that Earth is hollow and that the interior is inhabited.
They just mapped a giant sphere within the Earth, Southern Hemisphere I think, with a surface ocean so I wouldn't be so sure a subterrean civilization doesn't exist.
My x firmly believed this one he was convinced there was an entrance in some cave in I think Tennessee. This was one of the less crazy things he believed
It's especially funny when flat earthers believe this. (The ex really was a dc)
oooh don't forget that Hitler is secretly still alive and is hiding out in there!!
That president’s control gas prices at all gas stations.
govt oil policy and other economic policies play a role in the price per barrel, which affects gas station prices. Since 2000, the average oil company makes between 3-5 cents per gallon sold at gas stations (most of them make the bulk of their money in other parts of the petroleum and energy sector) regardless of list price. Gas stations since 2005, make aprox 15 cents markup from what they pay per gallon, which comes out to 2-4 cents per gallon profit per gallon sold, gas stations make the bulk of their money off convenience store and repair shops. so going at the max, if the oil company makes 5 cents per gallon, and my local gas station makes 4 cents per gallon, and my local gas station charges 3.55 a gallon, then we have about 3.46 cents are tied up in all the costs of that gasoline from drilling to refining, to shipping. And a lot of those costs in the supply chain are directly related to govt policy, and such policies is why a few years ago I paid 2.40 a gallon, and now 3.55
As free as can be. Why else would the price per gallon, one county over be as much as .30 cheaper (15 miles) except for a "free market". Free to gouge.
Load More Replies...I can't stand seeing all this 21st century spelling! Fix it someone, please.
Are the presidents are responsible for the cost of everything and that America only has inflation no other country does
Or the cost of consumer goods. Nope that is the capitalist free market society we live in, baby! People completely forget the pandemic and how it disrupted the supply chain. If we really wanna blame the right president for inflation let's get that douche canoe out here because inflation started with his presidency during covid. Even though I am not a fan he nor our current pres is responsible for or can even control the inflated price of consumer products.
The one where hundred of Qanon people waited for days for JFK jr to appear in Dallas just to reinstate Donald Trump as the Potus.
Even if JFK jr did not actually die in 1999 and somehow successfully hid himself from the world, there would be no law allowing sons of presidents to reinstate presidents.
This!! My daughter told me about her exes parents believing this nonsense. THE MOM IS A SUCCESSFUL DOCTOR. I just don’t understand.
The Jews drinking baby shakes.
The government implanting us with microscopic WiFi signals through food and tap water (the lady I work with takes boric acid baths to battle this and comes in with horrid ugly lesions).
Haha, no it's us the atheists who do the baby eating. (According to Christian sources)
The Romans believed it was the Christians who ate babies. Are people really so uncreative that they have to recycle two millennia old conspiracy theories?
Load More Replies...Baby… shakes…? If we consider the fact that humans apparently taste like chicken, that would be a pretty gross shake. Not to mention all the diseases you could get… never eat a human brain, folks. Edit: Thanks for the correction, I meant pork! I shouldn’t comment after a night of poor sleep.
Look up the history of "The Blood Libel". Fascinating and disturbing reading.
Wish you’d given us a hint of what it’s about so I’d feel inclined to look it up!
Load More Replies...Flat Earth Theory.
The ancient egyptians were able to calculate the circumference of the Earth with, essentially, two sticks. If you believe the Earth is flat, you are a moron.
The one where, if you get a magnet wet it stops being a magnet.
Maybe an Electro-magnet, but in that case you've probably got bigger problems...
Or if you're in a battery-powered boat and it sinks you'll be electrocuted.
The "Ghost Buses" theory of Jan. 6.
I.e. that the FBI painted their most secretive buses a highly distinctive color.
Secret FBI buses l!!! What d***s are these people taking? Or is it chemtrails?
Why would you make something distinctive that is supposed to be secretive? Wait! Stop! Disengage brain. OK, that sounds good.
That OJ’s son killed Nicole brown and Ron Goldman.
Stevie Wonder can actually see.
That we're being encouraged to run around in a panic over imaginary threats and non-existent enemies in order to keep us from wising up to what we should actually be upset about, so the people in power who are causing most of it get to stay that way. But that's just silly!
Oh! This is a conspiracy theory I could actually get behind. The conspiracy nuts think they’re the smart ones and we’re all blind sheep, but they’re actually the ones being blinded with useless silly conspiracy theories to distract them from the real issues.
Load More Replies...The Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty were built to be antennas for communicating with space aliens. France gave the Statue of Liberty to America because they needed an antenna on each side of the world.
There was actually an episode of the Ghostbusters cartoon back in the late 80's where Egon discovers that Gustav Eiffel actually designed the Eiffel Tower to act as a giant ghost trap.
Load More Replies...The electronic transistor was reverse engineered from the UFO found near Roswell, New Mexico. The alleged UFO debris was found in July 1947. The first transistor was demonstrated just five months later in December 1947. Interesting coincidence of timing, wasn’t it?
I once accidentally created a mini-conspiracy theory of my own when I wrote a story in which a CIA agent explains that the Roswell Incident of 1947 was actually just a red herring created by the government to cover up the fact that the real alien crash took place in the Acadia National Forest in 1932. A lot of people who read that story thought that this was an actual, pre-existing conspiracy theory and not something that I'd just made up for the sake of the story.
Load More Replies...1. There are Nazi on the dark side of the moon. 2. The Corina virus was created and spread by 5G radio towers and killing bees. 3. The Corona vaccine didn't actually work, but was a social experiment to sort out people who refused to follow societies rules, and fire and persecute anyone who was a Christian/natural/wiccan/evil/etc.
Plus the vaccine contains nanotechnology to control our behaviour 😵💫
Load More Replies...My brother, who is militantly far left, by the way, believes in a lot of conspiracy theories. Some of the more out there ones are: That rich people and politicians are eating babies, because they are lizard people, or aliens. That it doesn't rain anymore, unless "they" send out planes with weather making chem trails, to make us think global warming hasn't already turned earth into a desert world. That global warming, was caused by the aliens, to make Earth more hospitable to their kind. That ALL men are actually gay, and if they are with women, it's because they are forced, or coerced in some way, and that they are basically terrified,miserable,slaves to these evil women, Women are "programmed" to want to be with men, because the aliens need humans to eat. He's lost many friendships, trying to "save" dudes, and talking c**p about their girlfriends. Oh, yeah. And of course, 911, COVID, the current wars, all that is the world government trying to distract us from all the anti-gay-aliens.
I had to stop reading these as they were starting to hurt my brain...
We're not even going to mention the one that Donald Trump hired a 20-year-old from 150 yards away with a crappy gun to fire a bullet one quarter-inch from his skull?
My company hired a conspiracy theorist recently. It's absolutely wild, she thinks the government has been controlling the weather for the last 20 years (and she said it WHILE the crazy rainfall and floods were happening in Central Europe -where we are). Of course also an anti vaxxer, told me I would turn into a robot after my 5 COVID shots. Also, what a surprise - not a smart person.
An old YouTube video claimed, based on Ear Measurements ... Walt Disney & Adolf Hitler were the same man. Roy Disney & Joseph Goebbels were the same man. Jimmy Carter & JFK are the same man. Rosalynn Carter & Jackie Kennedy were the same woman. Lilian Carter & Eva Braun were the same woman. Rosemary Kennedy & Margaret Thatcher were the same woman.
That we're being encouraged to run around in a panic over imaginary threats and non-existent enemies in order to keep us from wising up to what we should actually be upset about, so the people in power who are causing most of it get to stay that way. But that's just silly!
Oh! This is a conspiracy theory I could actually get behind. The conspiracy nuts think they’re the smart ones and we’re all blind sheep, but they’re actually the ones being blinded with useless silly conspiracy theories to distract them from the real issues.
Load More Replies...The Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty were built to be antennas for communicating with space aliens. France gave the Statue of Liberty to America because they needed an antenna on each side of the world.
There was actually an episode of the Ghostbusters cartoon back in the late 80's where Egon discovers that Gustav Eiffel actually designed the Eiffel Tower to act as a giant ghost trap.
Load More Replies...The electronic transistor was reverse engineered from the UFO found near Roswell, New Mexico. The alleged UFO debris was found in July 1947. The first transistor was demonstrated just five months later in December 1947. Interesting coincidence of timing, wasn’t it?
I once accidentally created a mini-conspiracy theory of my own when I wrote a story in which a CIA agent explains that the Roswell Incident of 1947 was actually just a red herring created by the government to cover up the fact that the real alien crash took place in the Acadia National Forest in 1932. A lot of people who read that story thought that this was an actual, pre-existing conspiracy theory and not something that I'd just made up for the sake of the story.
Load More Replies...1. There are Nazi on the dark side of the moon. 2. The Corina virus was created and spread by 5G radio towers and killing bees. 3. The Corona vaccine didn't actually work, but was a social experiment to sort out people who refused to follow societies rules, and fire and persecute anyone who was a Christian/natural/wiccan/evil/etc.
Plus the vaccine contains nanotechnology to control our behaviour 😵💫
Load More Replies...My brother, who is militantly far left, by the way, believes in a lot of conspiracy theories. Some of the more out there ones are: That rich people and politicians are eating babies, because they are lizard people, or aliens. That it doesn't rain anymore, unless "they" send out planes with weather making chem trails, to make us think global warming hasn't already turned earth into a desert world. That global warming, was caused by the aliens, to make Earth more hospitable to their kind. That ALL men are actually gay, and if they are with women, it's because they are forced, or coerced in some way, and that they are basically terrified,miserable,slaves to these evil women, Women are "programmed" to want to be with men, because the aliens need humans to eat. He's lost many friendships, trying to "save" dudes, and talking c**p about their girlfriends. Oh, yeah. And of course, 911, COVID, the current wars, all that is the world government trying to distract us from all the anti-gay-aliens.
I had to stop reading these as they were starting to hurt my brain...
We're not even going to mention the one that Donald Trump hired a 20-year-old from 150 yards away with a crappy gun to fire a bullet one quarter-inch from his skull?
My company hired a conspiracy theorist recently. It's absolutely wild, she thinks the government has been controlling the weather for the last 20 years (and she said it WHILE the crazy rainfall and floods were happening in Central Europe -where we are). Of course also an anti vaxxer, told me I would turn into a robot after my 5 COVID shots. Also, what a surprise - not a smart person.
An old YouTube video claimed, based on Ear Measurements ... Walt Disney & Adolf Hitler were the same man. Roy Disney & Joseph Goebbels were the same man. Jimmy Carter & JFK are the same man. Rosalynn Carter & Jackie Kennedy were the same woman. Lilian Carter & Eva Braun were the same woman. Rosemary Kennedy & Margaret Thatcher were the same woman.
