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Have you ever experienced a moment when you just wanted the earth to open up wide and swallow you whole? Purely because of something you did, or said, in front of other people.
Maybe it was that time the words left your mouth and remained hanging in the air for a second too long. That evening you realized the brilliant joke you thought you'd made didn't land quite as you'd intended. The morning you enthusiastically mistook a stranger's wave for one directed at you. Or that compliment you kindly gave that came across more as an insult.
Don't worry, it happens to the best of us. Social interactions are, after all, a minefield of unspoken rules, hidden cues and subtle signs. And sometimes, we miss them completely. While we might replay our awkward and embarrassing moments a thousand times over in our heads, rest assured, they are universal. And no one is immune to the occasional, messy blunder.
Someone recently asked people to share the times they seriously misread social cues, making everything weird for everyone involved. The answers were too funny not to share, so Bored Panda has put together a list of the best.
Many might leave you feeling a whole lot better about your own mortifying moments. And others could have you laughing literally out loud, as you realize foot-in-mouth is, sadly, a pandemic that none of us can easily escape.
Image credits: trippi_lil_hippi
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
One time i was at the orthodontist and they were checking my invasilgn fitted properly so she told me “say your address” i replied with “i’m a dress” then she said “no say your address” so i repeated louder “i’m a dress” didn’t realise what she actually meant til id left the appointment.
Some moments live on in our minds rent-free for years to come. Especially if they left us feeling embarrassed by our own awkward behavior. Granted, some of us have more mortifying memories than others. But generally, no one is immune to making the odd social blunder now and again.
Something that can help minimize the number of foot-in-mouth moments we have is learning to read social cues. So what are they?
According to Jaunty, a website that markets itself as "the gym for social skills," these are non-verbal signals that people use to communicate their thoughts, feelings, and intentions. The signals can be subtle or overt, and "often convey more information than words alone," notes the site.
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#2
It was Halloween at the nursing home I worked at and I decorated with a huge cemetery scene. I didn't realize until the hospice nurse pointed it out💀
#3
I saw a guy trip and fall on the sidewalk and rushed forward to help them. I was thinking “I hope they’re alright” and “did they get hurt”. Kneeled down, locked eyes, said “I hope you’re hurt”.
Social cues can include body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures, eye contact, distance, and... wait for it... silence.
Missing these hidden signs can not only lead to awkward situations and misunderstandings, but could even end up damaging relationships. "Misreading a colleague’s body language during a meeting or failing to catch the tone of a partner’s voice can have significant negative implications," warns Jaunty.
On the flipside, knowing how to perceive and react to social cues can help us build and strengthen interpersonal connections.
"When you can recognize and interpret social cues, you can adapt your behavior and communication to suit various social situations and avoid misunderstandings or conflicts," notes the site.
#4
Got into an elevator and the lady asked where I was going and I proceeded to tell her my plan for the day. She said, "ok but what floor do you need to go to?" 🤣💀.
#5
Working in a theatre selling ice cream with no card machine. Had a man ask if I had a card machine and instead of saying “I’m afraid not.” I looked him in the eye and said “I am not afraid”.
#6
I had just gotten married and my new last name was Black. Wasn’t used to it yet and UPS brought a package and said “are you Black?” And I gave him a confused look and said “…no I’m white” and walked inside with my package. Still haunts me.
According to verywellhealth.com, it's estimated that around 60% to 65% of social communication is through non-verbal behaviors.
For example, directly looking into someone's eyes can signal interest, attentiveness, or serious intent, while averting your gaze can signal disinterest, discomfort, or distraction. "Even the angle of one's gaze or the rolling of eyes can be interpreted as conveying sarcasm, disapproval, or impatience," adds the site.
#7
I thought tossing someone’s salad meant beating them up. Proceeded to threaten this guy that I was gonna toss his salad.
#8
In high school asked this guy in wheelchair how he kept his sneakers white…I still think about it from time time 😔.
Child of the Stars 2 months ago
Just because you're not walking doesn't mean your shoes don't get dirty. Splashes from puddles and rain drops aren't exactly clean.
#9
I work in healthcare. I finished a prisoners exam and said “you’re free to go!” And he looks and me and says “no I’m not”.
How close someone stands to you can also say a lot. "Being close or leaning into someone can be used to express affection, while pulling back or angling away may express disapproval or shock, or to convey that one's 'personal space' has been invaded," explains verywellhealth.com.
Jaunty's experts believe that improving learning to read body language is one of the best ways to improve one’s ability to pick up social cues. They advise paying attention to other people and actively observing them during social interactions.
It also helps to pay attention to your own body language during conversations since it impacts how others perceive and respond to you.
#10
One time I was at a restaurant and I have bad peripheral vision so when the waitress came to take my plate I thought my plate was inexplicably sliding off the table so I screamed & grabbed it from her.
#11
One time I took a freshly misted bunch of cilantro out and dusted it allover the face of who I THOUGHT was my daughter. Turns out it was just some random shopper.
#12
Husband told me to order pizza. I rehearsed what to say in my head. Called the pizza, I panicked and said “Hi papa John’s, this is pizza” 😩 I hung up quick & had my husband do the order.
Dragons Exist 2 months ago
Basically me whenever I have to do a phone call (I'm bad at speaking without fucking up what I'm trying to say)
"Some common body language cues to look for include posture, facial expressions, and hand gestures," explains the Jaunty site. "For example, crossed arms might indicate defensiveness or discomfort, while an open posture suggests confidence and approachability."
The communication experts add that a furrowed brow might suggest confusion or concern, while a smile indicates happiness or friendliness.
#13
A coworker told me their little brother looked like a mini m&m. I said “oh really? Which color?” After a few awkward moments he said “No, the rapper, not the candy”.
#14
This man with caterpillar eyebrows approached me while I was browsing. He asked if I needed help and I said no I was just eyebrowsing. It was 7 years ago and I think about it at least once a week 🫠☠️.
#15
15 yrs ago I spent half a semester writing “Show Show Media” in my notes for an internet marketing class because I didn’t realize my Chinese professor was saying “Social” 🤣😭😅.
We mentioned silence earlier. And here's why it's important.
"Silence is a powerful nonverbal communication tool that can convey various emotions and thoughts," notes Jaunty, adding that it can indicate contemplation, agreement, or disagreement, depending on the context.
Practice pro-active listening during conversations if you want to improve your ability to recognize the meaning of silence. And pay attention to your own moments of silence. "By paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, one can develop a better understanding of how silence is used to convey meaning in different situations," Jaunty explains.
#16
I’m a piano teacher. Once the dad came in to say goodbye to the student during lesson ended it with “love you, cookie” and idk why, I out of reflex said “love you too daddy”.
#17
My aunt found a pair of shoes she liked & modeled them around the store. Another woman tapped her on the shoulder & said they were hers. Aunt was ready to fight until woman said no, she wore them in.
#18
As a server I meant to tell a couple to “enjoy the rest of their days” but I stg I don’t know where the “s” on days came from. It became so sinister and I didn’t know what to do, so I backed away 💀.
When there's not silence, don't forget to pay attention to someone's tone of voice. Experts believe this is a crucial aspect of nonverbal communication, as it can convey a person’s emotional state and attitude.
"By listening to the pitch and tone of someone’s voice, one can often get a sense of their mood, level of interest, or emotional state," Jonty's experts say. "For instance, a high-pitched, excited tone might indicate happiness or enthusiasm, while a low-pitched, monotonous tone could indicate boredom or disinterest."
Feel free to share your own mortifying moments of awkward embarrassment in the comments down below. Who knows, it might help a few of us avoid making the same mistakes that you wish you hadn't.
#19
I was buying tampons from the corner shop next to my work and the cashier said "has it just started?" Awkward af I said "yes I came on just now" & she said "😳 I was talking about the rain".
#20
We were at a party and my friend took a pregnancy test and it was negative… I yelled “yayyyy!” And then her and my friend both looked at me and said “no that’s not good we been trying for months “💀💀.
#21
I worked at Dutch bros and when a customer made a fist to give me his change I fist bumped him and said “hell yeah” then he kept it hovering there and said “no..I’m giving you my change” 💀.
#22
They were telling jokes in my class. There was this kid in wheelchair named KJ. He was black.... they said "what has legs, IS brown but can't walk" I confidentially said "KJ!!!!" they were referring to a table.
#23
A lady asked me for toilet paper in a stall next to me. I handed it over. She started talking about her date, I was responding. She said, I'll call you back the lady that handed me toilet is listening.
#24
2 JW's knocked on my door, introduced themselves as Elder Jones, and Elder Smith, I said "wow you both have the same first name? and it's unique too!"...🙄🙄🙄.
#25
When studying abroad I asked the hotel concierge for more toilet paper. He replied with “yes, can I have your number?” To which I replied “no I have a boyfriend.” He was asking for my room number.
Farah (she/her) 2 months ago
dont worry it happened to my friend in volleyball: coach was asking for her number and she was like uhh and he said NO I meant your jersey number
#26
I worked at a bank and in certain situations needed a fingerprint. Asked for a right index finger and we locked eyes as I realized he didn’t have an arm 😭.
#27
I asked a waiter for a box for my remains (instead of leftovers).
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Long before covid I dated a nice woman who did crime scene clean up, and we share job details and we were loud and laughing, and we emptied out that Ihop... She never did find all the toes...
#28
I met this couple at a hotel swimming pool once. We were talking about self defense and I said “I’ve always wanted to learn Kama sutra” i thought i was saying Krav maga 😭😭 they just stared and sat in silence.
#29
I met Guy Fieri last weekend and when I walked up to him he went for a handshake and said “hi what’s your name?” And I replied, “Hi my name's Sarah!! What’s your name?” 🤦🏻♀️
Auntriarch 2 months ago
Not as bad as the person who was asked what they did for a living by the Queen, and replied with "and you?"
#30
Congratulated a woman after she told me her daughter went to ICU (I thought it was a University) 🙈.
#31
I was so nervous the first time I went to the gyno (she was also my mom’s gyno & she delivered me) I blurted out “you gave birth to me!” She was like I most certainly did not lmaooo 💀.
Apatheist Account2 2 months ago
One I saw the other day: "I'm going to deliver your baby!" "I'd rather have it with the liver still in, please."
#32
Was waiting tables and I was meant to ask a table if they wanted a refill on their water but buffered and just went ‘woah??’ And held an empty bottle menacingly at them for a good 10 seconds.
#33
At Panera I figured they’d ask “what could I get you” so I was gonna say broccoli “chedder bowl please” but they asked “hi how’s your day” in the nicest voice. all that came out was CHOCCOLI BREADER😭.
#34
The first time we went to a character meal at Disney I got all weird when we met Winnie the Pooh and I made my kids get up and like, bow at him and call him “Sir Pooh” - idk what the hell happened.
#35
In Irish, the words engaged and lunatic are similar. Was doing an interview for my masters degree in teaching and told my interviewers I've been a lunatic for three years, instead of engaged. The stares still haunt me.
Apatheist Account2 2 months ago
I once meant to say to the French school assistant "Puis-je tutoyer?" meaning can I called you by tu instead of vous. What I said was "Puis-je tu tuer?" meaning "Can I k1ll you?"
#36
I was at my dad’s friends house when i saw pictures on the fridge of a young man in scrubs she told me they were her son. I said ohh wow he’s a doctor she said no he’s incarcerated 😳 those were not scrubs but his jail uniform 😭.
#37
My hubby's new coworker met us at a bar for a drink , brought his partner, I ran up to them, " OH HI !! YOU BROUGHT YOUR MOM !" 💀 She was NOT his mom. Annnnnnd she hated me instantly.
#38
I worked at nothing Bundt cakes and I was serving a lady and she asked why there was such little frosting and I said oh there’s actually a surprising amount of cream in the Bundt hole.
#39
A cashier at aldis had to step away for a second and when she got back I was expecting her to say she was sorry or excuse herself but she said “how’s your day?” And I said “don’t worry about it.” 😭.
The Majestic Opossum 2 months ago (edited)
I'm pretty sure this is mostly an American thing, but I've always thought it odd if a cashier steps away or I'm left waiting for a few minutes and they don't apologize for the wait. Even though it really didn't bother me anyways, it feels like an odd blip in the social decorum.
#40
I’m a GX instructor. I was showing my class a push up modification on our knees and encouraged them to not feel bad for taking the modification by saying “I do some of my best work on my knees!” 🤦🏻♀️.
#41
Idk if this counts but I clapped at the wakanda forever intro that was made as a moment of SILENCE for Chadwick Boseman. I didn’t understand the cue 🤦🏽♀️literally keeps me up at night.
Sam Trudeau 2 months ago
That movie was pretty much a whole funeral for him when you think about it
#42
I'm a pharmacy tech and at my first job we had to verify patient's month of birth at pick up. a lady was picking up meds for her son, Dirk, but I said "what month was dork born?".
#43
I have a sailor moon tattoo and someone asked me if I knew all the lyrics to the theme song… I panicked and said no because I have narcolepsy???? I don’t have narcolepsy. I also do know the lyrics.
#44
Recently I was talking to my fiancé’s friend Nathan, and told him that my fiancé has a friend named Nathan he would really get along with.
#45
I was once on my way to babysit and the mom was telling me they’re planning to adopt again, i said “oh what kind?” thinking she meant another dog, had no clue the little girl i babysat was adopted 😭.
#46
Customer had a lisp and I replied “yes” to his question, with a lisp. I don’t have a lisp 😭.
driedgrapes 1 month ago
I tend to adopt their flavor of speech without even thinking about it. Later I always worry if I sounded offensive.
#47
I was 9 and wanted to prank my mom in Walmart so I snuck up behind her from a diff aisle and jumped on her back. Once I was on her… I realized it wasn’t my mom. I walked away like nothing happened.
#48
A manager from another department came to my desk and asked if I had a sec. I replied “Ya! I have all the secs!” 😳 If you don’t get it by just reading it, say it out loud and you’ll know my horror.
Kitty Smith 2 months ago
I'm sorry I think my accents ruining it, can someone write it down for me. Thanks.
#49
My dog locked my keys in my car at a gas station. Someone was trying to help me break into my own car and told me to go buy a slim Jim. I came out with beef jerky, not the tool to unlock a car..
Sara Frazer 2 months ago (edited)
I recently bought a slim Jim after accidentally locking my keys in my truck, while visiting a friend, who lives 1.5 hours away ... confusing little contraption. Annoyingly enough I found the lock mechanism, was pressing on it and watching the lock jiggle, but never hooked it... about 2 hours of trying that I admitted defeat and paid $140 for someone to professionally break into my car. I have a late 90s truck
#50
Got pulled over last night and the cop let me off on a warning but he said “don’t speed, slow down” and i said “you too” cus I thought he’d already said have a good night lmao.
#51
Once had a vocal teacher say “I hate the way I sound” and I (while meaning to relate by saying I feel the same about myself) instead said “yeah I think we all do” 💀 25 yrs later I still feel bad.
#52
I had just moved to NYC. Someone tourists stopped me on the sidewalk and asked for directions to the subway. I gave them directions to a Subway sandwich shop around the corner.
#53
I went to pick up a package and the worker asked to see my ID, he then said “turned around” and I slowly and hesitantly did a twirl. He meant the ID.
#54
My dad always got the Spanish words camarero (waiter) and camerón (shrimp) mixed up until he yelled ‘camerón!’ to a very short waiter. He learned that day.
Alex Meurissen 2 months ago
I did the same with perro and porro. I was in Costa Rica and kept screaming "Porro!!" at every dog. Took me 2 weeks and a lot of weird looks for a local to tell me dog is 'perro' and 'porro' means a joint hahahaha
#55
I worked as a nurse on a postpartum unit and a baby was in the bassinet swaddled in a blanket. I was trying to say “It looks like a little papoose, instead I said It looks like a little baboon.
#56
Cashier name tag was all caps. I said oh great name, LarHonda. She said “it’s LaRhonda” Just put the bag on my head 💀😆.
#57
My friend and I were wedding photogs and a potential bride told us her Fiance was getting ready for iron man and my friend goes “I love marvel.” She meant to triathlon 😂😂.
#58
My (then) husband & I were out to eat. I was trying to decide if I wanted a 6 oz or 12 oz steak. I asked him IN FRONT OF THE WAITRESS, “do you think the 6 inch would fill me up?”
#59
I was buying a drink at the gas station but I didn’t have my ID on me, so the cashier went “ok just tell me how old you are idc.” i panicked and said “19” i am 25.
#60
Told a cashier at the gas station to “keep the change” and then when I got into my car I realized I didn’t even give them the full amount of my total.
#61
Bumped into an older gentleman by mistake. i meant to say “i’m so sorry” but also “are you okay?” so instead i just shouted “ARE YOU SORRY??” i stared at him to process and just walked away defeated.
#62
One of my residents was walking his dog and I asked what the dog’s name was and he said “Beo”, I assumed short for Beowulf. AND I REPEATED IT. The resident had a speech impediment. The name was Bear.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
There's a classic Australian children's book called Penny Pollard's Passport, in which Australian kid Penny goes on a tourbus trip through the UK with a bunch of other people including one guy who introduces himself as "Barb". She thinks what an odd name but politely addresses him by it for the entire trip. At the end of the trip, the friend she's with tells her "you idiot, the guy's name is BOB! He's from Texas and probably thought you were mocking his accent this entire time!"
#63
Once I asked for a “wedgie” burger instead of a veggie burger and the Burger King worker said “we don’t do that here”.
#64
Literally yesterday. got oil changed, put sticker on window. guy said “i can take that trash for u” (meaning the sticker backing) but i was hella confused and handed him an empty bottle (trash) 😭.
Paula Smith 1 month ago
lol! Thats the sort of thing I’d do! (Hands him my car trash bin to empty…)
#65
Worked at a subway went to ask someone “what can I get for you” and I guess also decided to say “how are you doing” so I just looked into their soul and said “what are you doing”.
#66
Bruh I went to a meet and greet and they asked me what I wanted to hear and I said “something you’ve never told anyone” they meant a song……
#67
While sweeping for close at work one night. I round a corner and an older gentleman was right there and says “greetings”… I’m not sure why my immediate response was “Greetings Earthling” 🤦♀️.
#68
My friend and I were using the restroom at the mall and she farted LOUD in the stall next to me. I said "niiiiiice!!" When we left she said it wasn't her and she was a few stalls down. poor other girl.
#69
2 days ago I complimented a girl's sweater. She said, "thanks, I made it" but I heard, "thanks, I hate it" so I loudly said "OH NO WHY??".
#70
I used to work in collections and I left a customer a vm and ended it with “in Jesus name I pray amen” instead of have a great day on complete accident. She called and paid her bill an hour later 😂😂.
Child of the Stars 2 months ago
I've been going to AA meetings for 12 years. A few years ago, I was staying with my parents for a few days and decided to go to church that Sunday with them (I hadn't been to church in like 15 years at that point). During the discussion Bible study, I wanted to make a comment, and when the teacher called on me, I said without thinking "My name is [name] and I'm an alcoholic" without thinking.
#71
Introduced my name (riley) and my favorite place (Iceland) for an icebreaker. Another girl named Riley said to “spell it” to see if it was spelled the same. I spelled Iceland. In front of 50 people.
#72
Was in a spelling bee competition and I was in advanced English class. Was asked to spell soup infront of the school. S O O P. Instantly knocked out. Auditorium was SILENT. I walked off.
Upstaged75 2 months ago
I've done this too - I just panicked, even though I DID know how to spell the word.
#73
A guy at Burger King said “would you like ketchup in the bag” but I had worked 16 hours and no sleep for 2 days and swore he said “would you like a colostomy bag?” And I snapped “why would you ask me that?!”
#74
my husband tried to order spinach artichoke dip and the waiter said he had to check if they had it. my husband said "if you're out we will take it anyway" I think about this a lot.
#75
I asked my client why she was in Utah, she said she was visiting mennonite family, I said “oh god that’s so weird eh?” she said “..I’m mennonite..” so I just turned the blowdryer on mid haircut..
#76
Went to a salon, they said to drop my coat and they’d bring my robe. I asked “Can I plz keep my underwear on?” She was shook and said “please keep all your clothes on” and gave me the typical cape.
#77
well one time i tried to ask my best friend if her grandpa was cremated (makes more sense with context) but I forgot the word "cremated "and just very hesitantly said "did you... burn.. him?".
#78
I can’t hear names when introduced (total blackout). I called one of my vendors Garret or Gavin for a year. Someone told me Kyle was waiting for me and I asked WHO TF is Kyle?! It was Gavin 💀.
Geoffrey Scott 2 months ago
I hate this. A guy I interacted with frequently, kept calling me Paul. Thought I misheard him first. He kept doing it. A year later after someone overheard him call me that, I fessed up..it was awkward.
#79
in 3rd grade I thought my teacher left the room so I jumped up and said “teachers gone let’s party!” She was just behind the bookshelf and stood up and looked at me like ?? I’m 30 and still cringe.
Paula Smith 1 month ago
This is hilarious! I bet they giggled in the staff room later that day.
#80
Joined a teams meeting and my boss said oh everyone’s wearing black I didn’t get the memo. I said I wear black every day because at heart I’m a black girl.
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
This 💩💩💩 is 🍌🍌🍌🍌 B Ana Nas! (People thought she said, "I aint no Harlem Black Girl)
#81
this isn’t my story but i remember someone said they grabbed a jacket at the store to try on. it wasn’t for sale it was the lady’s next to her she just put it down for a sec😭.
#82
Saw a dog while hiking. Shouted down “what’s your dogs name?!” They said “tofu” I meant to say “I’m gonna come say hi” but I said “I’m gonna come” emphasis on come.
#83
one time i accidentally grabbed the sonic worker’s finger bc i thought it was a straw she was handing me.
#84
On a hiking trip at Pikes Peak. This couple walks by and the man asks if I need water. I said “no thanks I’m okay”. He was asking his wife. 😐
#85
Guy introduced himself to me and instead of introducing myself I said “Ok.”
#86
in middle school i walked all the way to the principals office crying because i thought i was in trouble whole time she pointed to the kid behind me and they had no idea why i went to the office.
#87
My blind friend introduced himself and I held out my hand… and then took his even tho he didn’t hold out his and shook it ?????😭😭😭😭.
#88
I was walking behind a girl on the stairs and she tripped over. Instead of asking if she was okay, I panicked and said “it’s okay. 🙂” and then awkwardly walked past her.
#89
I accidentally made a your mom joke to my uncle at my grandma's funeral.
#90
At the end of an interview I was asked when I would be able to start and after giving my start date I added “put me in coach”.
#91
in 8th grade we had an assembly before our end-of-year field trip, towards the end one of the teachers asked us "what's the most important rule?" and i thought we were all supposed to yell "HAVE FUN!"
#92
I met Joseph Quinn at a bar in Chicago. He was with a man and woman. I asked if he brought his parents.. it was his management team.
highwaycrossingfrog 2 months ago
I've worked with Joseph Quinn and I'm pretty sure he'd have found this hilarious
#93
Somebody asked me “asl” on ps4. I had no idea what it meant and told them sorry I don’t know sign language. 🤦♀️
What do you think ?
highwaycrossingfrog 2 months ago
Told this one here before so apologies if you've read it but it's one of my favourite stories. At Center Parcs with my family in the 90s, my dad had gone into the bar to get drinks while the rest of us bagged a table outside. Now, for context, my dad tans very easily, and as he walked out with the drinks, my mum wants to point out how brown he had got, so she points at him and says, very loudly, "Look at Mr brown head!" Just as the only black man in the vicinity walks out the door behind him.
Frances Stokes 1 month ago
On my honeymoon, we went to the Denver Zoo. I honestly can't remember what animals we saw, but there were several babies in the exhibit too. As we were walking by I excitedly pointed and said look at the cute little black one, not realizing there was an African American dad with a stroller standing at the fence in the direction I was pointing. I still didn't realize how it looked till my husband explained. I was mortified.
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LillieMean 2 months ago (edited)
My latest public embarrassment wasn't verbal this time, but in Pilates I told myself to focus on my breathing and managed to inhale saliva into the wrong pipe. There I coughed long and devotedly in an otherwise quiet room while twenty other people listened to me struggle with my saliva. Edit:typo
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Wait until youre really old and almost driwn on your spit while sleeping
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Angela C 2 months ago
I just spent my break laughing like a psycho in the break room of my job so now everyone who didn't already think I was insane definitely does now
Gavin Johnson 2 months ago
When I was a child my Grandad told me stories about how he remembered his Dad coming up from the mine covered in coal dust and the tin bath his Dad used to get washed in whilst sat in front of their fire. Roll on a little while and our family visited London, sat on the tube and I innocently ask the black chap sat next to me if he’s been working down the mine and if he’s going home to wash all the coal dust off his face. Luckily he laughed, seemed to enjoy my parents embarrassment and chatted to me about his skin colour. I still think about that one! 😳
Jac Carr 1 month ago
I just commented above that my black partner thinks its hilarious when white people are accidentally "racist"; it's obvious who is embarrassed and therefore not actually racist
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DeoManus Argentem 2 months ago
My 5th grade teacher (so I'd be around 10) was very young, probably just out of university, and attractive (all the boys had a crush on her) with a large chest... She asked us all something we learned while on break, and I had been to one of those tourist places where my sister bought a clam (oyster?) guaranteed to have a (cultured) pearl. The presenter told us pearl divers in Japan were usually women because they have larger lungs... Of course when it was my turn I said, "Did you know women have larger breasts than men?!"
The Majestic Opossum 2 months ago
These were pure gold. Made my laugh my a*s off and feel better about all the cringe worthy moments in my own life. Thank you!
Ogidi Girl 1 month ago
My brother and I were in a car at a stop light. There was a pregnant black goat on the hill side on my brother's side of the car which I couldn't see. So my brother goes "hey look at that pregnant black goat!" just as a black pregnant woman crosses the street in front of us. Everyone in the car was aghast. It took him like 20 mins to stop laughing long enough to explain what happened!
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I'm still dying at using "anti-Semitic" d***s instead of anti-emetic a couple of weeks ago. TBF< I had been throwing up most of 36 hours at that point.
Tonyah Mcanelly 2 months ago
When i worked in customer service for workers comp. I was on the Pharmacy Help desk. A pharmacy called in for a medication approval. instead of saying what can i do for you. I said How can I do you ? we are both straight female . and there was about a 20 second pause of awkard silence.
AlithenewMC 2 months ago
I was at a funeral for a great uncle about 15 years ago. We don't really know this side of the family very well, saw them maybe once every 5 years or so. We had been to the funeral of my great aunt about a month prior, and these funerals were held about an hour away from where we live (we're Canadian, so an hour is a normal drive for us). His son-in-law came over to me and my sister to thank us for driving out again so soon and I, trying to demonstrate that the drive wasnt so bad, said "hey, it beats working!". I only realized about 30mins later why he gave me a weird look.
reuben kift 2 months ago (edited)
I read the title of this thing as 'foot AND mouth disease' instead of IN and I was like "Whoa, who finds such a disease funny?!" It wasn't until I'd reread the title did I understand. Edit: The title has since been changed, so this is no longer relevant.
Blue Sky 1 month ago
in 1988 I was dating a guy and he said lets meet in McDonald's, yeah no problem. I saw what I thought was my date and tapped him on the shoulder and said banana milkshake please. It wasn't my date but kudos to the guy as he brought me a milkshake, I apologized and offered to pay but he was like no its fine. Still sometimes think about this and its now 2025
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
The trouble with shortening these lists is that some of my best one-liners have disappeared :(
highwaycrossingfrog 2 months ago
Told this one here before so apologies if you've read it but it's one of my favourite stories. At Center Parcs with my family in the 90s, my dad had gone into the bar to get drinks while the rest of us bagged a table outside. Now, for context, my dad tans very easily, and as he walked out with the drinks, my mum wants to point out how brown he had got, so she points at him and says, very loudly, "Look at Mr brown head!" Just as the only black man in the vicinity walks out the door behind him.
Frances Stokes 1 month ago
On my honeymoon, we went to the Denver Zoo. I honestly can't remember what animals we saw, but there were several babies in the exhibit too. As we were walking by I excitedly pointed and said look at the cute little black one, not realizing there was an African American dad with a stroller standing at the fence in the direction I was pointing. I still didn't realize how it looked till my husband explained. I was mortified.
Load More Replies... LillieMean 2 months ago (edited)
My latest public embarrassment wasn't verbal this time, but in Pilates I told myself to focus on my breathing and managed to inhale saliva into the wrong pipe. There I coughed long and devotedly in an otherwise quiet room while twenty other people listened to me struggle with my saliva. Edit:typo
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Wait until youre really old and almost driwn on your spit while sleeping
Load More Replies... Angela C 2 months ago
I just spent my break laughing like a psycho in the break room of my job so now everyone who didn't already think I was insane definitely does now
Gavin Johnson 2 months ago
When I was a child my Grandad told me stories about how he remembered his Dad coming up from the mine covered in coal dust and the tin bath his Dad used to get washed in whilst sat in front of their fire. Roll on a little while and our family visited London, sat on the tube and I innocently ask the black chap sat next to me if he’s been working down the mine and if he’s going home to wash all the coal dust off his face. Luckily he laughed, seemed to enjoy my parents embarrassment and chatted to me about his skin colour. I still think about that one! 😳
Jac Carr 1 month ago
I just commented above that my black partner thinks its hilarious when white people are accidentally "racist"; it's obvious who is embarrassed and therefore not actually racist
Load More Replies... DeoManus Argentem 2 months ago
My 5th grade teacher (so I'd be around 10) was very young, probably just out of university, and attractive (all the boys had a crush on her) with a large chest... She asked us all something we learned while on break, and I had been to one of those tourist places where my sister bought a clam (oyster?) guaranteed to have a (cultured) pearl. The presenter told us pearl divers in Japan were usually women because they have larger lungs... Of course when it was my turn I said, "Did you know women have larger breasts than men?!"
The Majestic Opossum 2 months ago
These were pure gold. Made my laugh my a*s off and feel better about all the cringe worthy moments in my own life. Thank you!
Ogidi Girl 1 month ago
My brother and I were in a car at a stop light. There was a pregnant black goat on the hill side on my brother's side of the car which I couldn't see. So my brother goes "hey look at that pregnant black goat!" just as a black pregnant woman crosses the street in front of us. Everyone in the car was aghast. It took him like 20 mins to stop laughing long enough to explain what happened!
KatSaidWhat 1 month ago
I'm still dying at using "anti-Semitic" d***s instead of anti-emetic a couple of weeks ago. TBF< I had been throwing up most of 36 hours at that point.
Tonyah Mcanelly 2 months ago
When i worked in customer service for workers comp. I was on the Pharmacy Help desk. A pharmacy called in for a medication approval. instead of saying what can i do for you. I said How can I do you ? we are both straight female . and there was about a 20 second pause of awkard silence.
AlithenewMC 2 months ago
I was at a funeral for a great uncle about 15 years ago. We don't really know this side of the family very well, saw them maybe once every 5 years or so. We had been to the funeral of my great aunt about a month prior, and these funerals were held about an hour away from where we live (we're Canadian, so an hour is a normal drive for us). His son-in-law came over to me and my sister to thank us for driving out again so soon and I, trying to demonstrate that the drive wasnt so bad, said "hey, it beats working!". I only realized about 30mins later why he gave me a weird look.
reuben kift 2 months ago (edited)
I read the title of this thing as 'foot AND mouth disease' instead of IN and I was like "Whoa, who finds such a disease funny?!" It wasn't until I'd reread the title did I understand. Edit: The title has since been changed, so this is no longer relevant.
Blue Sky 1 month ago
in 1988 I was dating a guy and he said lets meet in McDonald's, yeah no problem. I saw what I thought was my date and tapped him on the shoulder and said banana milkshake please. It wasn't my date but kudos to the guy as he brought me a milkshake, I apologized and offered to pay but he was like no its fine. Still sometimes think about this and its now 2025
Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
The trouble with shortening these lists is that some of my best one-liners have disappeared :(
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