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“Women Are Cats In Disguise”: 69 Men Share What They Learned About Women After Living With One
No gender is a monolith. People are complex individuals with their own sets of unique quirks. And if you live with someone long enough, you’ll start to pick up on their idiosyncrasies. But if they’re a woman and you’re a man, they might have a long list of habits that you’re unfamiliar with…
Men on Reddit have recently been revealing the most interesting behaviors they’ve observed since they started living with a woman. From leaving her hair all over the house to crying for seemingly no reason, these traits are just some examples of why living with your girlfriend or wife never gets boring. So enjoy scrolling through this list that might give you some more insight into what it’s like to be a woman, and be sure to upvote the behaviors that perfectly describe something that you (or your partner) does!
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#1
I was surprised how my girlfriend reacted to me scratching her scalp with my fingers while we're cuddling. Just running my fingers through her hair while she lay on my shoulder or chest was literally enough to put her to sleep in like a minute from being totally awake.
Honestly I think she's part feline, she was basically purring...
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#3
The sheer joy of a dress with pockets.
#4
She doesn't want me to fix it. She just wants me to listen.
Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
Take some advice from a woman: ask. "Do you want me to just listen, offer advice, or fix the issue?" This works 100% of the time.
#5
That all those cute looks require real effort to put together and should be appreciated but not expected.
#6
Period munchies are a ravenous pit that isn't exclusive to chocolate and pays no respect to complimentary flavors. She will eat spicy pickles, caramel and cool ranch doritos then crave tuna salad 30 min later.
#7
That one of the kindest things I could do was always offer to scratch her back where her bra straps had been when it comes off for the evening haha.
#10
That she almost never wants a logical response when venting and opening up. She just wants to be heard and understood.
When she opens up I ask what she'd prefer.
#11
Crying is often a process, often not a crisis.
What makes a lot of men generally cry (especially Gen X and prior) is really serious things. A close family member of friend, a beloved pet, or the death scene from Star Trek II. You know, the serious stuff.
For a lot of people though, it can be a way to process things. Many times less serious things.
For a while I reacted to crying as if it were really really serious and was hesitant to even engage, thinking of what it would take me to cry.
Everyone's crying treshold is different. I learned not to assume what mine was matched with partners.
#12
Massive farts in her sleep.
Also making nonsensical statements such as “I’m gonna draw 10” in her sleep.
Man I love that woman.
Kid Murray 1 week ago
I read a story about a guy whose wife talks in her sleep but she doesn't mumble, it's totally clear speech, like she's awake. One night she's asleep when he goes to bed. He's lying there waiting to fall asleep when he hears, in a deadly cold voice "Yeah, let's see how funny you think it is when I blow your f***in head off". Yeesh, what was she dreaming?
#13
I didn’t realize how much time goes into getting ready even on “lazy” days. Also the amount of emotional processing that happens internally before anything is said was eye opening. I used to think silence meant nothing was happening, turns out a lot is happening lol. Made me way more patient once I noticed it.
#14
They don’t know what they want for dinner but definitely know what they don’t want once you suggest it.
#15
The requirement to have a small covered trashcan in the bathroom next to the toilet.
#16
Apparently there are different “levels” of showering. And they don’t just wash everything at the same time everyday.
Like they can do a body wash and no hair, a hair wash, a shave, conditioner and shampoo, and spa day.
And men just… wash.
#17
A pile of "maybe I'll dress it again later" clothes that stays there for a whole week and then goes directly to laundry, not worn again later.
#18
They mentally rehearse conversations that never happen, then feel relief or annoyance based on the imaginary outcome.
#19
Came here to write **hair**, but it's already everywhere in the comments - just like at home..
#21
The volume of cosmetic products that end up in the bathroom. My partner doesn't even wear make up every day and even when she does it's very little. Yet somehow every time I open the bathroom cabinet some kind of potion falls out into the sink.
#22
How much TP that they go through.
Auntriarch 1 week ago
Mr Auntriarch queried that. I told him he might be able to wipe the dew off his lily with one sheet of paper, but drying a frisé lettuce is another matter.
#23
Tiny bundles of hair on the shower walls that she's definitely going to remember to throw out afterwards.
#24
Monica’s closet is a real thing. What you can see is spotless but if it’s behind a door or in a drawer it doesn’t matter what it looks like.
#25
That they goo hoard everything. Every bottle of something or another, will have only a drop, then gets left in the bathroom forever.
#26
Hair up in a bun? Didn't want to wash and dry it that day.
#27
Social circle maintenance. She's incredible at it. Once we moved in together I realized just how many friend groups she has, and she somehow manages to nurture all of those relationships and values all of them.
Makes me feel like a hermit next to her but it's still impressive af. .
Auntriarch 1 week ago
If it wasn't for archery club, Mr Auntriarch would have precisely one friend. In Australia. But I just assumed it was because he's a crabby old git.
#28
How many things they wear that can’t go through the dryer—and how angry they get when you do the laundry and accidentally put these things in the dryer.
Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
My husband learned early in our relationship to only wash his own clothes and let me wash mine. I am not blaming him at all, because he just thought he was being nice by washing my clothes with his. I appreciate the gesture, even though it resulted in some disasters for my clothes. Guys, please understand that women’s clothing is very different from yours, not just in style but in fabrics and their care. It isn’t all made from tough cloth that can take a beating and still be wearable. Fabrics can be delicate, and can require special washing techniques to keep their shape, color, cut, and overall wearability intact. For instance, did you know you can “bruise” 100% silk cloth by washing it too vigorously? So that gorgeous silk top or dress your wife or girlfriend just spent a bundle on requires the gentlest of laundering by hand, then must be laid out flat on a drying rack to air dry. We have to take that kind of care of it in order not to loosen the weave, or leave a rough spot or discoloration on it. So no, it can’t just be thrown in the washer and dryer with everything else. Also, women’s clothing is generally more expensive, regardless of fabric (or even the overall quality and name brand these days), so require way more care than the man’s six pack of whatever they can get for a buck. If we want to have a wardrobe that stays in good shape for a decent amount of time, that is.
#29
Nothing really gender-specific. I just learned that people have their own routines, really. I was surprised that one of my girlfriends only took baths, if that counts. I get bored easily, so I like to get in the shower, clean myself, and get out.
#30
The urge to move furniture around the room to make it look different. Happens a couple times a year.
#31
My gal has this quirky little habit of trying to choke me in my sleep with her hair.
She hasn't cut it in nearly 20 years, and it is a long and thick curtain of hair that she just casually throws over my face in the night.
I would tell you all the places I've found her hair on my body, randomly. But I don't need to get banned from the sub.
Help. Me.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Ask her to braid it. that way you don't suffocate, you just get slapped.
#32
I knew there was lotion. I didn't understand the quantity of lotion.
Kid Murray 1 week ago
So use some of it. As a certain comedian pointed out "Why do you think when you're 60, your d**k looks like it's 18?"
#33
That there are two basins and four drawers to the bathroom vanity. None of the shelves are mine. The counter space between the right basin in the wall in where my soap tray and folded hand towel go, no other counter space is mine.
#34
Bags, from grocery bags to hand bags to gym bags…so many bags…bags everywhere 😂.
#35
It’s like they’ve unlocked a secret superpower: lava resistance. While the rest of us step into the shower and scream if the water is even slightly above “warm tea,” these women crank the dial until the bathroom looks like a sauna sponsored by Mount Vesuvius.
Lynchamigsakta 1 week ago
It's isn't a good shower if I don't come out of it looking like an enraged, boiled lobster
#37
They wear broken belts, jeans w popped buttons, stained shirts camouflaged by jackets they can’t take off … Backstage in girl world is full of secrets!
Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
I've discovered embroidery for stained shirts I can't bear to part with.
#38
The fact that they’re as interested and vulnerable as I was. I was raised in an obviously, religious environment by my icon and put women in an unreasonable position. We’re all way more alike, than we are different is all I will elaborate on.
#39
So... many... pillows. My god. I had two on my bed before and now there are at least ten, and some on the floor.
#40
Heading out on quick notice is now impossible. I always need to factor in the time to 'get ready'. For me it is always a 30 second affair of putting on my shirt and trousers, shoes.
#41
Period farts rise straight from the depths of the darkest places on earth where unknown evils dwell.
#42
I can’t speak for all girls, but I discovered after 19 years that my wife would throw out my clothes if she didn’t like them or thought they should be retired. I would ask if she had seen an item and she would deadpan say no. She admitted it after 19 years. That gaslighting was indicative of a lot more. We are no longer married.
#43
The amount of toilet paper they go through. My roommate and I bought what was at least a six month supply of toilet paper for the two of us when my wife moved in with us. It was gone in two months.
#45
Constantly asking where i'm going whenever i get up. Even if it is to the kitchen or bathroom. I also realized that if they ask you what you're thinking about, it means they love you.
Having a dream and being mad at me for what i did in her dream.
#46
Sleeping next to them is like sleeping next to a thermonuclear weapon.
#48
Literally every inch of real estate in the bathroom: Countertops, hooks, rods, shelves, soap niches, shower caddies, etc….
It all belongs to them now.
#49
Shower products. My entire life I used body wash for everything. She has fifty bottles for, I have no idea.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Marketing. e.g. - I apparently need two types of shampoo depending on the state of my hair, plus conditioner. Then there's body wash - do I want soapy and flowery or do I want herbal? Meantime - Lynx 5-in-1 for men.
#50
How much time they spend talking to you about people you barely know. This applies to daughters too.
#51
Shampoo bottle graveyard in the corner of the shower.
Wet bars and panties hanging on lines strung anywhere in the bathroom (Discovered when you walk face first into them one night when you get out of bed to go to the bathroom)
Mysterious small plastic bags full of wrird food items like chciken feet or black seaweed or tree ear in the fridge. (Wife is Chinese)
Bedroom wardobe that we are supposed to share "50/50" over time becoming 80/20. (80% hers, 20% mine).
#52
Shoe hoarders are REAL.
Auntriarch 1 week ago
Mr Auntriarch has more pairs than I do. Many more. But he looks so very dapper in them I don't feel like complaining
#53
Never had a GF that didn’t take up most of my allotted storage space in both the bathroom and the bedroom closet.
#57
The fixation with cushions on bed - no one sees the bed and as a male I don’t care / I just want a decent pillow or two.
#58
There are creams, tonics, cleansers, toners, oils, gels - you name it - for every part of the face and body.
Panda Cat 6 days ago
Toothbrushes, toothpaste, hand wash, bar soap for hands, body wash, bar soap for body wash, tweezers, nail clippers, nail files, oral irrigator, thermometer, band-aids, hair brushes, dental floss, fluoride rinse, Tylenol, ibuprofen, naproxen, hydrocortisone in a half dozen styles, foot cream, beard wash, beard temporary color,* q-tips, … My partner had all those and more when he moved in and he has lots of little clear boxes full of stuff. * that temporary color stains towels and he always reaches for a white one.
#59
Those hair pin things...... Everywhere.
Philly Bob 1 week ago
Those elastic hair ties. I swear they breed! I've found them in a parking lot in the wild even!
#60
75% of the laundry is various small black stretchy things that cannot be folded
There are apparently serious, logical reasons why each one of the 17 moisturisers has a place and purpose in the bathroom
Even though I can clean a bathroom I don’t do it right
Girls can and are exactly as gross as boys.
#62
She’s either buying stuff or scrolling through stuff she wants to buy next. It’s like a full-time job, but with online carts and wishlists.
#63
When I've been sat on the sofa with women while watching TV (this has happened with my ex wife and two separate girlfriends after we split) if they were the ones using the remote to put something on, instead of putting the remote down on the coffee table in front of them they would give me the remote, and then I'd be the one to put it down on the coffee table. I have no idea why, I'm not a big believer in the whole men are like this and women are like that, but it's happened with enough women at this point that it's something I've noticed as a woman thing.
#64
How she farts. The breaking of the ice fart is also different from girl to girl. One of my exes got excited, then just stopped, looked at me, lifted her leg, and then let out a monstrous roaring fart. She then giggled and ran off.
Another girl I dated, she ate a lot of protein as she was super fit, and she would just fart over and over and laugh.
Then another girl I dated, she was the silent type, she’d sneak one on you and you would smell it but no hear it. Dangerous.
#65
Constantly on her phone "just checking in with her friends group" when I know she's actually reporting back to her home planet, Venus.
#67
Tell you she’s getting food or a sweet treat but will get mad if you don’t also indulge in said food or sweet treat.
#68
The habit of removing makeup before the bed for an hour.
#69
They love cups - they have 2.4 million cups - they never use said 2.4 million cup. The cups take up every cabinet. The cups are often impractical or from a memory or because they’re cute. There are cups everywhere.
Panda Cat 6 days ago (edited)
Stephen Colbert did a little thingy about mugs. He had a big hat floating above his head and was elevated somewhere I’ve not seen since. He thought we should forego buying mugs since lots of people have too many. He said we should all go to thrift stores for mugs if we needed any. Does anyone else remember that? It was a long time ago. Edit: typo
What do you think ?
Ace 1 week ago
I hate how so many of these are just reinforcing stale old stereotypes, many of which were never even true in the first place.
nicholas nolan 1 week ago
If you take it at face value, that's just their personal experience. It's certainly not universal. Nothing is. But as another recent article comment stated, "if it doesn't describe you, why are you offended?"
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David Paterson 1 week ago
One of these days I'd like to make a list of stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" behaviour and then run a large survey to find out which are true and which are myths.
K Barnes 1 week ago
I agree. A lot of these apply more to my husband than me. He's on his phone more, takes scalding hot showers, has a bunch of hair and skin products, likes to vent about his coworkers...
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Hassel Davidhoff 1 week ago
Some of this is just old-school thinking. Only two things really stood out to me: my wife is like a furncae at night time so the one about the thermonuclear weapon was relatable. And yeah, the one about phones, women are on their phones A LOT, like, all the time, it seems. Men aren't much better. I hate these dämn "smart" phones.
Ace 1 week ago
I hate how so many of these are just reinforcing stale old stereotypes, many of which were never even true in the first place.
nicholas nolan 1 week ago
If you take it at face value, that's just their personal experience. It's certainly not universal. Nothing is. But as another recent article comment stated, "if it doesn't describe you, why are you offended?"
Load More Replies... David Paterson 1 week ago
One of these days I'd like to make a list of stereotypical "masculine" and "feminine" behaviour and then run a large survey to find out which are true and which are myths.
K Barnes 1 week ago
I agree. A lot of these apply more to my husband than me. He's on his phone more, takes scalding hot showers, has a bunch of hair and skin products, likes to vent about his coworkers...
Load More Replies... Hassel Davidhoff 1 week ago
Some of this is just old-school thinking. Only two things really stood out to me: my wife is like a furncae at night time so the one about the thermonuclear weapon was relatable. And yeah, the one about phones, women are on their phones A LOT, like, all the time, it seems. Men aren't much better. I hate these dämn "smart" phones.
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