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An unfortunate part of dating that many women go through is the fact that many men, despite, ostensibly, being adults, need to learn a lot of things that seem like they should be self-evident. The reality is that, sometimes, a partner has to be molded and shaped.
Someone asked “Men, what is something your wife/girlfriend taught you that you use often?” and people shared their best examples. We also got in touch with the woman who shared the post to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own thoughts, stories and examples in the comments below.
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#2
A few really magical ones come to mind:
1. Most people aren’t rude, they’re probably just shy
2. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Putting your own needs at the bottom of the list is just masochism and is probably unhealthy.
3. One girlfriend explained to me (at age 19) that she had to learn to accept that during puberty her body was changing… it was as though guys just kinda got bigger, but a girl’s body changes in a profound and different way. I always thought about that whenever I was intimate with another woman’s body - their bodies can change from one week to the next
4. One girlfriend said something to me one night that was kinda funny… we were back at my place and had both had a big day. I was really tired. I explained I was exhausted and couldn’t really do much to make the night fun. She said that it was okay, it’s not as though I am a clown and have to keep her entertained.
#3
Check washing instructions before doing laundry. Except, this totally backfired on me because now I do all of the laundry.
Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post in the first place and she was kind enough to share some more details with us. Naturally, we were curious to learn why she posed this question to the internet in the first place.
“I’m a single 30 year old female. I’ve had my fair share of failed relationships, and one night I was wondering if I ever made an impact in their lives. So I was just generally curious about little or big things that have stuck with men over the years from a partner,” she shared.
#4
If she tells me about a problem, my job is to listen and empathize. My job is not to solve.
#5
Sent this post to my husband of 15 years with the comment: "Kinda curious...".
His response: "Honestly, that I don't have to apologize for existing."
(Context: His parents were...not easy on him in his youth and always catered to and favored his sisters. He even mentioned he got grounded once for breathing too loud).
But wow this was the best and saddest compliment from my love ever.
BeesEelsAndPups 7 months ago
That's funny because I learned the exact opposite from my ex-wife. I should be constantly apologizing for existing. That took a long time to un-learn. Sorry
We were also curious to hear her thoughts on why the post got so many comments. “I think because it shows both perspectives and even showed some married (or dating) couples that we really do learn from each other, even if it’s the small things. Not to mention, they’re now learning about each other just from this thread. Anything to make a strong couple stronger. It truly is the little things.”
#7
Value the time you have with the people that you love. Dont take a minute for granted.
nottheactualphoto 7 months ago
Everyone, take this to heart while you're young (if possible). Especially regarding the "old" people. Get them to tell you stories, etc.
#8
To not accept the barest level of quality in literally anything.
She encourages me to buy nicer clothing, a better computer, etc. not because nice things are important but because I should feel like I deserve nice things.
I think most men don't have any kind of voice that tells us we deserve good things in our lives.
Nathan Lewis 7 months ago
I have a voice that tells me the cheaper option, more often than not, performs the exact same task
#9
How to make a grilled cheese sandwich. My ex-wife asked me to make her one once. She watched in horror as I took two pieces of bread put cheese in the middle and then used the microwave.
Naturally, we also wanted to hear her perspective. “I’ve mostly dated blue collar men. So as a female, I've learned how to change my own oil, spark plugs, patch a hole etc. I grew up with a single mother who didn’t know how to do this herself. So partners have shown me how to be more independent and I’ll always be thankful for that,” she shared with Bored Panda.
#10
First gf taught me to drive stick. Bad a*s farmers ftw.
Tracey Stammers 6 months ago
Automatic is less popular in the UK. Stick drive is the expectation when learning to drive.
#11
How to buy clothes. It sounds small, but I would always just get the first things that fit well enough; when shopping with her she taught me to only settle once I got something which actually fit me perfectly and which I was happy with. Shopping with her now takes an extra hour or so, but I get stuff which I love wearing as opposed to stuff which is good enough.
#12
To dry my feet and legs before getting out of the shower, and to lower the toilet seat down after I peed.
She tricked me by raising it back up after she went at my house and she explained “this is a guys house, so I’ll raise it back up where it goes after I’m done” and then I just automatically started lowering it when I was at her house like some serious reverse psychology was going on there.
Even my probation officer said “I’ve heard you’ve become quite domesticated😂.
CF 7 months ago
Or we could all try to normalize closing the lid after every use, then flushing. It's more sanitary and removes the whole issue over "why should it lower the seat for you, why don't you lift the seat back when you are done??" Bonus (and primary reason in my home): no litter dust pawprints on the seat from cats playing in the toilet water.
“There was one comment about a wife who sent this thread to her husband curious about his answer. She went on to say his answer was to never apologize for being himself and then gave some back story of his. His parents made him feel irrelevant compared to his sisters. I think it’s just beautiful growing up from such terrible self esteem from the people who are supposed to love you most, to finding a person who shows you that you do matter to someone.”
#13
To be present and joyful .
#14
A pile of clothes in the corner of the room is not acceptable and there was something called a hamper.
#15
To eat slowly and enjoy my meal. I came from a house where if you didn’t eat fast someone else would.
angelmomoffour62 7 months ago
That's so wrong taking food from kids cause they eat slow. Shame on them...
She left us with some parting thoughts. “I feel like this thread can be a learning experience for couples of all ages. Talk to each other. Learn about and from each other. We can make this a better place if we all just help each other out, no matter how small it’s still a victory,” she shared.
#16
She taught me to assume the best outcome in any situation, even bad ones. It helps remove or alleviate any possible anxiety, and brings a feeling of calm that keeps me focused and back to reality.
I observed her doing it for years, but it didn’t really stick with me until I was in my 30s. The rim could fly off the car while we’re driving, and she would already believe we’re going to crash into soft snow without any injuries or pain. It’s great.
#17
When dealing with a child, if you give them a little control back in decision making it makes controlling them easier when they don’t want to do things. This has helped me as a parent, but even more so as a doctor for kids. My wife is a genius.
#18
Don't try to guess. Ask.
KatSaidWhat 6 months ago
*retrospective upvote* - also if someone doesn't want to tell you and you are supposed to guess, that's some bad communication skills right there.
#19
That I am lovable, valued and valuable even when I am not providing a service.
She taught me this by the negative space created when she left, and I realized I had friends and family and hobbies that fulfilled me, and that I was happier in the company of books and music than alone with her. .
#20
How to budget my money, before my partner I was awful with money really did burn a whole in my pocket but she's really taught me the importance of having money in the bank.
#21
How to braid hair. All boy household except for mom, and she had the curliest hair ever and kept it short. Mine is curly too, but I also cut it short. Long, straight hair, which she has, and basically everything that went along with it, was pretty much a total mystery to me before. Now I’m an expert 😎🤣.
#23
Empathy, i use it as often as possible.
#24
She taught me how to cook better. I could always cook for myself before, but she really taught me a greater variety of ingredients to cook with. Just really opened up my world.
#25
My wife has taught me that there are times she needs me to be her husband and partner. There are other times she needs me to be her friend.
One requires me to listen and offer advice so we can work through whatever together. The other is just to listen and respond with "you're not the b***h, *she's the b***h*".
#26
When you're shopping for meat, use the meat bags (tf are those actually called?) like a glove to grab the meat. So start with your hand all the way inside the bag, grab meat, pull bag over meat. You'll end up never touching it. This is in pursuit of avoiding any raw meat or blood that happens to be in the packaging. If you're not worried about that then snatch it up with your bare hand like a Neanderthal.
#27
How to cook/season food. She was horrified when I told her I don't like chicken noodles soup because we always have it straight out if the can (usually warmed up). Then she made me homemade soup also using the can, and it's like being sick was worth it just to taste that soup.
#28
My first gf taught me how to go down on a woman and I use that technique to this day. Shout out.
#29
To stop and think logically before flying off the handle.
I’m still working on it, but she’s likely saved me from numerous uncomfortable moments due to my temper.
She’s incredible.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
I was in a relationship with a woman who claimed I was unfair when we argued because I used logic. Another time she asked me "How come when we have an argument, I'm always the one who's wrong?" Because if I thought you were right, we wouldn't be having an argument, would we?
#30
Give them time.
It's never enough, but give the two of you time, as much as possible, whenever possible.
#31
Just asked my husband. He said, “You taught me feelings.” He’s the best.
#32
When my husband & I were still dating, and he first found out I use a straight razor on my legs, his reaction was to immediately ask me to shave his face, as if it was the most awesome great idea in the world. He wouldn't take 'no' for an answer.
It wasn't long before he had his own straight razor & maintenance kit, and now he handles it like a g*****n master of blades.
#33
The value of holding my tongue ... even if it's important enough to say, it doesn't need to be said in the heat of the moment.
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
Not everything that pops into your head has to pop out of your mouth.
#34
Assume positive intent, my wife is a saint.
#35
If I'm feeling bad, I don't have to feel bad about feeling bad.
#36
She taught me how to crack multiple eggs. You get one in each hand and tap them together till one of the shells cracks. The one that is still solid has 'won' the battle and gets to fight a new egg. Makes baking that much better.
#38
That you can use your feet like heat sink radiators by sleeping with them outside the sheets. It helps a lot to stabilize my body temperature on those in-between nights when I'm not sure whether I'll be too hot or too cold.
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
I thought that was just an automatic thing. My feet have been doing that since... I don't know when. Always? TIL that wasn't an instinctual move. 😁
#39
Peeling garlic by smashing it with the broad side of the knife. I am a 3 star chef now.
#40
To check before buying something…and to save some money! It has reduced the spending and got us saving a lot of money in no time!
#42
She taught me to be more decisive.
- She definitely needs leadership because she’s very trait neurotic. I on the other hand have always been very carefree and unbothered so I rarely had strong opinions about stuff in general.
- I am very analytical and problem solving comes easy to me. So being able to express an opinion and follow through actually helped me a lot at work.
#43
I taught my boyfriend to put a dryer sheet at the bottom of the trash can under the bag. He was amazed that the garbage didn't smell anymore and now does it religiously in every trash can at his place.
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
Just sprinkle bi carb soda in the bottom, it's cheaper and more sustainable. If you must have a fragrance too, a drop of essential oil.
#44
That I need to clean the hair out of shower when I am done with it.
#46
To not try to solve every problem they tell me about. It took a while but I eventually learned that women like to tell you about their problems for no reason and if you try to solve them, they get mad. They don’t want you to fix everything (or anything really).
#47
To garggle salt water when I have a sour troath. Its magic.
LauraDragonWench 7 months ago
"To gargle salt water when I have a sore throat. It's magic." And, yes, gargling salt water is a great preventative.
#48
To apply lotion everyday and my skin would feel better.
#49
Using chop sticks, was f*****g clueless with them before i met her.
Adam Benson 7 months ago
I'm glad I learned to use them before I moved to China, it's come in very useful here - though I hold them a little differently than the locals.
#51
Don't ask your kid what they want for a snack, just put something in front of them. That's pretty much it.
#53
My last girlfriend taught me the difference between body spray and deodorant lol.
#54
She taught me to negotiate hard even for small things.
She used to say that is all practice that will pay dividends later. That has helped me in all my business dealings.
#55
Where we live, in the summer you can hold your hand up to the horizon, count how many full hands stacked before reaching the sun. Each hand is approx one hour until the sun sets. Each finger is approx 15mins. It's not exact but it's d**n close.
I taught this to my husband when we first met and he thought it was some kinda crazy. Now I see him doing it relatively frequently.
#56
To say the following
My bad.
I'm sorry
I'm wrong
No I was not thinking.
#57
How to fold a fitted sheet.
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
Folding fitted sheets is like watching a magician saw his assistant in half. It can't be done in real life, but I enjoy watching someone create the illusion.
#58
*wiping front to back.
#59
According to my (f) partner (m), how to appreciate the little things. Sunsets, a fire on a cold day, a tasty homemade meal, etc.
#61
How to be more hygienic. I used to think I was doing good enough until she told me otherwise.
#62
If I turn the duvet cover inside out, insert my hands to the corners and then grab the corners of the duvet pulling it through it’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to shove a duvet into a case.
#64
Use your tongue to do calligraphy.
#66
Technically an ex girlfriend, but she taught me a trick to close chips bags pretty much airtight without using any clip. It's a bit hard to explain but you use the air pressure of the bag to keep its own fold pressed closed.
#67
Gf 30 years ago got me brushing my teeth in the shower. GAME CHANGER! I'll never go back to the sink again.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 7 months ago
How does this save any time? I can't wash myself while brushing my teeth, so it's going to take the same 2 minutes. Plus the water will be running the whole time.
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Just_for_this 7 months ago
To talk about and express my feelings. To the world im a closed book - but to the people who matter im getting better at it.
Adam Benson 7 months ago
My Chinese wife taught me to make a wicked stir-fry. It turns out the magic ingredients are salt, sugar and just the right amount of oil.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 7 months ago
My ex taught me that my feelings are valid, I have the right to say what bothers me and I need to ask for help more. Plus she taught me "accidently" when we broke up how to be more okay with doing things alone sometimes.
Just_for_this 7 months ago
To talk about and express my feelings. To the world im a closed book - but to the people who matter im getting better at it.
Adam Benson 7 months ago
My Chinese wife taught me to make a wicked stir-fry. It turns out the magic ingredients are salt, sugar and just the right amount of oil.
Fabulous chocolate cookie 7 months ago
My ex taught me that my feelings are valid, I have the right to say what bothers me and I need to ask for help more. Plus she taught me "accidently" when we broke up how to be more okay with doing things alone sometimes.
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