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In this day and age, we are obsessed with red flags. For good reason, avoiding something horrible before it affects us tends to be a win-win situation. Unfortunately for the vast majority of the population, oftentimes, truly important red flags are only visible to those outside of the situation. 

Someone asked, “In-Laws of Reddit: When did you realize your kid's marriage was doomed?” and folks from across the internet shared some of the worst things they have seen. So get comfortable, prepare to roll your eyes as you scroll through, and be sure to upvote your favorite stories. 

#1

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Probably when he punched my daughter square in the face in front of our entire extended family.

S***tingOutPosts , Eric Lane Barnes Report

#2

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Was the sister-in-law. The first time she and I went somewhere together she said, "Your brother's kind of been pissing me off lately. Do you think I should cheat on him again?" To which I asked if he knew about the others and she informed me he did not. I told her, "He will now." They divorced shortly after.

anon , Mimi Thian Report

#3

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Sister-in-law here. I'd say it was when he pushed my sister into a thornbush over a petty argument the day after they got married.

katieb00p , Kelly Sikkema Report

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generally_happy avatar
similarly
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not even about the thornbush. The fact he pushed her at all is alarming.

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#4

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last A few months back my sister married a super nice guy. They hadn't been dating that long, like right under a year. They were super happy and looked like a perfect marriage. So the perfect happy couple got married and literally 4 days after being legally married sis calls me crying an screaming that newly wed husband is attacking her. As the heroic little brother I rush over to her place as fast as I can burst inside to see him and her having a stand off in the living room he's bleeding holding a knife and she's screaming bloody murder so I think my sister is about to be stabbed to death so I grab the .38 off my hip yell at him to drop the knife, he spins around I blast a round into his left thigh he's screaming blood everywhere I call 911. Police, paramedics, EVERYONE shows up.
Turns out that my sister and him had a dispute about her 'guy friend' at work she's always texting. Sister gets mad stabs husband with knife husband somehow wrestles knife away from my lunatic sister tries to calm the situation and I bust in the door and shoot the poor bastard. Great guy didn't press charges we got it settled all nice like I paid his medical bills and they divorced, I gained a new best friend with a bullet scar and I don't really talk to my sister.

Foster_The_God55 , Andrea Ferrario Report

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#5

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last The moment someone told me they were having a child to save their marriage.

Billabong1960 , Camylla Battani Report

#6

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When I met my sister's now husband then boyfriend, he was dragging her by her hair to the car because she left the house without telling him and he thought she was with a guy. She was having lunch with me. The second time I met him they had an argument at my parents' house in my room while I was in it. He kicked me out and shut the door, I had my ear on the door and I heard muffled noise, then loud gasping. I was banging on the door shouting and begging him to let me in. Turns out he was pushing my pillow on her face. I made the mistake of moving in with them to help my sister with the baby because yes they thought having a baby was a good idea. They had an argument and he lifted her up like something out of WWE and let her drop to the floor. I called the cops, she told them whoever called was a liar. They took him in anyway, she bailed him out because she missed him.

MIsamisahime , Karolina Grabowska Report

#7

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When the actual father of their youngest child came forward to demand a paternity test... he won.
DNA test on older child also showed no genetic match. No surprises here.

OldAntarcticExplorer , Alena Darmel Report

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#8

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When she was kissing another guy in one of the wedding photos.

It didn't go over well.

Addicted_To_Spanking , Victoria Priessnitz Report

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#9

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When my sister told me he tearfully confessed to her on their wedding night that he had murdered and buried someone in the desert. After she urged him to turn himself in, he told her he was only joking.

kan610 , Felicity Tai Report

#10

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last At my wife's sister's wedding myself, my wife and my mother in law had a betting pool with the groom's two brothers on how long the marriage would last. Lowest guess was 13 months by my mother-in-law. Lasted 10. They started marriage counseling while engaged. The honeymoon involved separate vacations. Thank Christ there were no kids. Her second marriage was even worse.

wdh662 , cottonbro studio Report

#11

When she tried to tell us that cooking m*th in a self-made underground complex beneath his shed in the backyard made him a "self-starting entrepreneur." And this guy was not Walter White, genius chemist from New Mexico. This was Ricky from Alabama who got his GED at 24.

1800OopsJew Report

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#12

Sister here. Thankfully this marriage never happened; the relationship ended shortly after the proposal, but I knew my brother's fiancee was a gold digger within an hour of first talking to her. My brother makes a ton of money, and I'm pretty sure that she latched onto him because she wanted him to pay her credit card and student loan debts. There were so many red flags, I'm kinda shocked that my brother managed to ignore them all. When I asked her what she liked about my brother, she said, "Uhhhhhh.... well, he has a really high paying job and he's good at fixing things, so he's pretty useful, hahaha!!" She also kept talking about how she was taking time off from medical school, and it became really obvious to me that she was trying to use the marriage as a way to drop out of medical school completely and live off of my brother's money. She also spent the entire time talking about designer bags and dresses, and how she'd been taking out loans to buy herself thousands of dollars' worth of bags. I hung out with her for a few hours, and by the end of it, I was 100% sure she didn't like him as a person at all. I ended up telling my mom, who told my brother, and he confronted her and she admitted to all of it and they broke up.

Edit: Some people are commenting saying that they wish that they were close to their siblings, so I just want to clarify: I'm not close to my brother. We've never been close. But he *is* my brother, so I've got his back. So don't be sad if you're not close to your siblings. They will probably have your back when the time comes no matter what.

901238 Report

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Red Reilly
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I know a couple, ex couple, who were together for years! they were open so yeah, but one fell in love with someone else and they broke up. right thing to do? well it then turns out the one that left had been getting very comfortable with the lifestyle the rich boyfriend could pay for, when they broke up the rich boyfriend agreed to pay off $60K of credit card debt!!

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#14

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Before she ever got married, when she told us she was going to help him get over his substance abuse problem.

keenly_disinterested , rebcenter moscow Report

#15

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When they decided to get married when he was in boot camp.... Through mail. They married the week he got out. And divorced 4 months later...

TopNotchSkillZz , Pixabay Report

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similarly
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I doubt deciding to get married by mail was the problem. I asked my wife to marry me in a letter. She replied in a letter. We've been married 30 years.

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#16

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Sister-in-law here.

I was 7 years old when my sister's new boyfriend walked into our house, took one look at the fish tank and asked, "how do they breathe?" He was at least 20 years old at the time.

They stayed together 8 years, 2 of those married, before divorcing. He's a meth addict, and my sister is remarried with a beautiful family now.

SugaryShrimp , Maria Tyutina Report

#17

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last I was the brother in law.

She would call me all the time when I lived in Maryland to complain about my brother. When I lost my job and moved back home she was constantly pulling me aside to have small conversations.

When we went out one time she sat down next to me and asked me "Which guy in the bar I would be okay with her cheating on my brother with?"

anon , cottonbro studio Report

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#18

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When he caught her [sleeping with] a coworker.... on their anniversary.

punnyusername12 , Womanizer Toys Report

#19

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When he refused to go somewhere with her because it was outdoors and he doesn't walk on grass or dirt.

gaqua , Gary Barnes Report

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Lost Penny
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get this one. So he didn't want to go, and...? Go without him. Just because you are a couple, doesn't mean you should go everywhere together. It's not like he was throwing a fit about her going alone.

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#20

When he told me she didn't like gynecologists or birth control because they caused cancer, but it's fine because she was pregnant anyway. Flabbergasted, I asked why? And he said her mom wants grandkids.

Jesus I can't wait till he wakes up.

CascadesDad Report

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DarkViolet
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He will.......every two hours to the sound of a screaming baby.

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#21

SIL here. Late to the game so this will be buried deeeeeeep.

On their wedding day when my sister was walking down the aisle he was looking everywhere but at her. He looked bored and uninterested.


Then the final nail (for me) was when he tried to convince another of our sisters to fool around with him. She was estranged with oldest sister and knew if she told her older sister would just blame her or claim she was making it up to cause drama.


The marriage officially ended after he got a vasectomy behind her back bc he got his mistress pregnant and she found out. His other kid is the same age as their middle child.


The saddest part is he had adopted her oldest kid, so now my niece has had 2 dads wash their hands of her. Her bio wanted nothing to do with her, and her adoptive one is a s**t parent who acts like it's a burden to take care of his kids.

not_doing_that Report

#22

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last Sister-in-law here. Realized it when my sister got a stalker and her husband did nothing but make fun of her despite how terrified she was. I think she's going to wait until their kid is 18 to divorce him.

xompeii , MART PRODUCTION Report

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xxx
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope she leaves now. Two homes are way better than one that is broken.

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#23

Ah I thought they'd never make it down the aisle but sadly they did. Some things that tipped me off:

- He wouldn't have sex with her for two years for reasons that are totally-not-related-to-the-fact that-he's-attracted-to-men-instead.

- He treats women like s**t, including his fiancee.

- It's his way or the highway ALL THE TIME. Like "either we stay at this hotel or we break up."

- He put them into debt equal to about 2 years of their COMBINED salaries.

- He bought stuff for himself all the time but wouldn't buy her a wedding ring.

- He had very specific ideas of what the wedding should look like and wouldn't let her have any input.

And yet I was considered an negative Nancy for thinking they wouldn't work out.

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#24

I knew the minute I met my daughter's new boyfriend that he was a risk for her. One year and 1 grand-daughter in her marriage and he started to hit her. So I got involved. I offered him $20,000 to disappear and he didn't take it claiming he would get help and get better and my daughter pleaded for him also. Then he did change. He was way too nice even. One morning my daughter called me crying her hearth out saying that he had ran away with their daughter. 3 years passed but since I had friends working in the police department that were looking into it. We found out that he was living with his sister about 4 hours away. So, we had him arrested and my grand-child was reunited with my daughter. What we didn't expect was that he filled her mind with so much horror story about her mother that we could not send him to prison. But he wore a ankle bracelet for a long time and after he had to let the police, and us, know whenever he was even going more then a few yards from where he lived. Now that my grand-daughter knows better. She's in her early 20's and lives by herself. Shortly after she moved out, I met my son-in-law "by accident" and to this day he carefully watches himself before crossing any street in case he might get run over :) I'm not saying I would do it but accidents do happen. And I do believe in sweet sweet Karma !!! 

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Olivia Lisbon
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, why would filling her head with lies about her mother mean they now can’t send him to prison? But it does mean an ankle bracelet?

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#25

Not me but a co-worker knew that her daughter's relationship (turned marriage then domestic abuse now divorce) would end badly when the first time she saw the place they were living together he showed off their bed as quote "This is the place where I plow your daughter" only to be reenforced at a party later where he told a group of strangers with the mom present "If she could swallow then I wouldnt have to mess up her make up every night". It was 'a joke' off of something about the daughter coughing. Who the f**k says that s**t in front of your SO's parent?

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#26

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last His wife butt-dialed me at 3 a.m. and I got to listen to ten minutes of her sweet-talking a guy with a the TV on in the background. I said nothing to either of them about it at the time.

greenighs , Los Muertos Crew Report

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Sophia Grey
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, YOU'RE the AH here. Who wouldn't tell someone that??? Yikes.

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#27

It was Christmastime and my sister and her husband were buying gifts at a mall. They stopped at a little cart selling spiced nuts. They bought some. They also each got to have a sample one. She was holding both his and hers and he asked her to hold some stuff for him and to free up her hand, without really thinking, she ate his sample nut. Even though they had just bought a package of them, he lost his f*****g mind about it and wouldn't speak to her for the rest of the day because she ate his sample. His anger was always disproportionate like that. I knew it couldn't last much longer at that point.

crazyisthenewnormal Report

#28

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When she decided to give most of the groom's male relatives very sensual and passionate lapdances during the after party.

DenisYegon , cottonbro studio Report

#29

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last My step-bro married a girl still in high school.... doomed before it started. It was in Mississippi. he was 24 she was a few months shy of 18. she was definitely not mature for her age.

anon , Jeremy Wong Report

#30

We all knew the marriage would fail before they even said their vows because he strangled her one night during a fight, and he was a drunk, and an a*s.

anon Report

#31

My brother was married to a compulsive liar. I honestly didn't think the wedding would go ahead but it did and then the marriage lasted about 18 months. I was a bridesmaid and in the week leading up to the wedding I was trying to track down my bridesmaid's dress with the store my ex-SIL said she had ordered them through. Couldn't get any info out of the store, so the Tuesday before the wedding my Mum & I went down to the store to find out what the . The store had no record at either one of their locations, Mum blew up and lost her temper at the poor girls that worked there. We went away to calm down and call the bride-to-be to get to the bottom of it, turned out that she had never ordered the dresses to begin with (and pocketed the deposits both bridesmaids had given her for the dresses). We had to go back to apologize to the girls in the store. Over the next few days we found out she hadn't booked a photographer or bought the flower girls dress either. I thought for sure my brother would cancel the wedding but they talked it all over and it went ahead. 18 months later she cheated on him and that was it, they separated. A lot of dirty laundry and secrets came out in the break up, including how she had being hiding bills and not paying others.

He is so much better off without her, and I'm really glad that they didn't end up having kids even though they were trying when she cheated on him. He has since met a wonderful girl, who he is happy living with on the other side of the country and is now at university studying. She was really holding him back.

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#32

When my almost sister in laws grandma was telling me stories about her great great grandson. I quickly realized it was the almost future sister in laws son. My brother didn't know about him at the time. Her Grandma was on her second neat scotch when she let it slip. Thank goodness for scotch.

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#33

Alright, something I can FINALLY contribute to. Not a parent, this was my sister.

My sister met a guy on League of Legends (first mistake right there) who lived a couple states away and was in the Air Force. She moved there to live with him, I was under the impression they were only dating. A while later I found out they had got married without telling anyone, including our parents. I found out after they had been married for a year, my parents found out a couple months before me and neglected to tell me for some stupid reason.

Anyway, I knew it was DONE when her SO turned 21 (she was 25 and I was 18 at the time). They went out for his birthday and he drank his a*s off. He was super f****d up when he and my sister got back to their home, so she drew a bath for him so he could try to get a grip. He ended up going literally f*****g insane; he threw a butcher knife at her as she was running to her car. For some reason, the dude literally thought he was satan incarnate and had to be manhandled by the police.

The state pressed charges on him, my sister did not want to though. Despite the fact, he did not lose his job in the military. He was clearly abusive and my sister was a step away from suffering stockholm syndrome. My brother, mom, and I ended up driving 12 hrs away to rescue her a couple days prior to Christmas (they knew we were coming under the intent of bringing my sister home). Definitely the weirdest Christmas day of my life.

My sister is now dating a down to Earth guy who I very much approve of, and I'm pretty sure she's officially divorced to the other dude.

Edit: He was naked during said event

hi_im_sefron Report

#34

I moved in with my sister, her husband, and their kids after high school. He started hitting on me and would tell me he "wished he could work out a trade-in program so he could marry me instead" and would say that in front of their kids. One night we were all in the car when he got a call from another woman (over Bluetooth so we all heard everything) and he just kept saying he was with his family like he was trying to keep her from saying anything that'd implicate him. A few years later, she served him divorce papers but he refused to sign. Then one night while she was working 3rd shift, him and his buddies took a bunch of stuff from the house, including the fridge. All so she couldn't take anything when she left him. But he bought a mini fridge to replace it, so there's that. It was endless amounts of BS.

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Red Reilly
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, seriously some people are just disgusting. My last place of work a shocking amount of the men were separated or divorced due to them sleeping around and because I am a guy they would try and joke about which girl they wanted. I would nervously chuckle and then be a good gay and warn the girls which guy to stay away from.

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#35

Sister-in-law as well.

When they were dating and my brother slapped her across the face hard enough that I heard it down the hall. He and I brawled till he left, I put her in a cab and told her I liked her enough that i never wanted to see her again.

When she came back three days later I knew it was going to get ugly. Surprise pregnancy ensued, wedding happened 3 months later.

Years of therapy for everyone involved.

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#36

My sister is married to a guy 6 years her junior and well she just got pregnant and I'm currently watching them just slowly blow up. Oh and he doesn't speak our language and barely any English. So my prediction is when they finally understand one another it will go badly and the worst part is it will probably somehow wind up my fault despite the fact that I told her from the beginning that it was a bad idea.

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Red Reilly
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eek, this made me think of this lady I worked with when I was a teenager at a Cafe back home. Happy ending she is now married to a lovely man. However her first fiancé didn't speak a lot of English, from another country. His 'sister' came to visit a few times with his 'nephews'. yeahhh it was his wife and son and he was trying to get a UK passport. She was so gutted. but then she met her now husband, who I met last year for the first time and he is LOVELY and you can tell absolutely adores her.

#37

My grandma says she knew my ex-aunt wasn't gonna work out when she called Gucci "the Wal-Mart of purses."

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#38

Oh gosh. When she threw my late grand father's antique camera at my brother's head while they were fighting. She missed, but broke my mother's cabinet.
Yeesh. Relax, and talk it out folks!

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#39

Brother in Law caught cheating 2 weeks before the wedding. They had a rushed wedding because his girlfriend was pregnant. 2 weeks before the wedding he put an ad of himself on Craigslist (with a d**k pic and face pic) looking to get laid and one his ex's contacted me about him stalking her and sending pictures of himself looking to hook up. Everything was laid out to his new wife but she denied everything.

It actually got flipped around on me because he told his wife and my wifes family that I was the one to put the ad on CL. Oh well.

He has a new girlfriend that pops up every couple months but then he tells the family that his new girlfriends are all crazy and that he doesnt even know them.

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#40

30 In-Laws Share The Exact Moment They Understood That Their Relative’s Marriage Wouldn’t Last When they mentioned off hand that they don't sleep in the same bed, and apparently haven't had any form of sexual relations in over 6 months.

Random-Miser , yi sk Report

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generally_happy avatar
similarly
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not always a deal breaker. There can be reasons. As long as it's ultimately something they're willing to live with, it doesn't have to be the end.

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#41

SIL here and I knew when they announced their engagement. I had met her before and she had seemed a little high-strung, a little immature but seemed like an ok person and she and my brother hadn't been dating very long. I hadn't seen her in a setting where others were suppposed to be the center of attention. We were at a close family friend's rehearsal dinner. Brother brought his girlfriend as his date. The groom's family had picked this nice Italian restaurant that had needed to be reserved months in advance. Bro's girlfriend tried to get everyone to change venues because she "felt like Chinese food." When she didn't get her way she showed up to the restaurant pouting, arms folded, lower lip out. She snarled at the waiter that he had better have Pepsi or she was "going to f**k s**t up." She ordered the most expensive item on the menu and then refused to eat it. As in it sat there untouched while she scarfed down her fifth Pepsi. Then in a moment of silence from the rest of the table, she slid her engagement ring on her hand under the table lifted it up and screamed, "I'm engaged!!" At the top of her lungs and said, "I bet you all are sorry now you wouldn't let me have Chinese on my engagement night." My date convinced her to let us take her out for desserts at a little bakery up the street with the goal of getting her out of the restaurant hoping everyone else could give attention to the actual bride and groom of the weekend. As we were leaving, brother's now fiancée turned to my parents, her future in-laws, and said, "Don't think I don't know you all don't like me."

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SheamusFanFrom1987
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least she got one thing right out of that whole fiasco of wrongs...

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#42

My brother's fiancé makes him pay for everything. Every time they ate out, every time they went shopping, and the down payment for their house. She doesn't mind if it's a small house or if they don't eat out often, but she and her parents refuses to pay for anything because "they're very traditional" and paying is the man's job.

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Herobrine
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a goddamned stereotype. I hope he finds out and divorces her. It should be equal. Not one sided.

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#43

Brother-in-Law. I realized it was doomed the minute they said they were getting married. They were "high-school sweethearts" and I swear they were only together because my ex-step-dad basically did everything he could to stop the relationship from happening which made them even more stubborn.

Nobody really liked her because she had a c**p personality (going as far as attempting to estrange him from us and forbid him from ever doing anything with his family) and could see that it was doomed, but god bless my brother's little heart he tried to make it work despite her . Only delayed the inevitable. Sad thing is they started trying to have a fix-a-flat baby and moved back to where she was from so she could have her family nearby, which I told my brother was a terrible idea and was only going to make things worse and screw him in the long run.

She found out as it was a private message and apparently read all his stuff. At this point she mad. Messaging me from her own account about how dare I try and sabotage her relationship yadda yadda yadda, she's having a panic attack and how if I ever come down there her dad is going to beat me up (lol). Double downed and wrote her an even more scathing message calling her on her s**t.

Long story short, I was made an uncle. Things seemed to actually be going better she seemed to actually grow up and became an actual human being. So I ate crow and apologized (come on, I was an uncle needed to be the bigger man and start rebuilding a bridge). My prescience was correct though and the marriage ended. Haven't seen the little one in at least like 4 years. Silver lining though from what I hear is that she's a way better mom than I had originally imagined which makes me more ok with the situation.

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Sophia Grey
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children should never be born into an alrrady broken family.... so sad when they are, like dang, they don't deserve to have parents who don't love or like each other, why make the innocent child pay for you being unable (or, more likely, unwilling) to have the hard conversations and leave a person you don't see yourself being with forever.....

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#44

The marriage was performed in Vegas. With no family. That was red flag 1. Red flag 2 was the time they spent apart. Husband had 2 jobs. To keep food on the table. The wife worked part time, but spent all her small checks on bingo and getting drunk every weekend. Red flag 2. They had 3 kids before they got married, didn't want any more kids, so the husband got fixed. Well one of those weekends she was getting drunk she hooked up with someone. Found out she was prego a few weeks later.

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#45

Grandma in law.

Before they were even married. Difficult to explain this so please bear with me...Grandson was a whole entire person, didnt need other people to 'complete' himself. What he needed was someone who could live a parallel life next to himself. She was one of those people who have a void inside them that needs someone else to fill it. I knew this would suck the enjoyment of life from my grandson...lasted 1 year and there were hardly any happy times for either of them. Divorced now and he's a happy person again who has hopefully learned what he doesnt need in a relationship.

Personally I feel marriage is an archaic form of social control and cant understand why people buy into it. If youre happy with someone you spend your life with them or at least part of it.

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Mjskywalk
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandma gave me the best relationship advice: “it’s better to be alone than to wish you were.”

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#46

My entire family tried to tell my cousin that marrying his high school sweet heart was a mistake. She was emotionally and physically abusive to him throughout the entire relationship. On their wedding day, his car got t-boned. Her father was in the passengers seat and got cut up pretty bad. We all saw it as a sign. They went through with the wedding anyway. I remember her father walking her down the aisle in a white, blood-stained shirt. It was the middle of June on a public beach. It was hot and miserable. Fast forward 9 years later, he was granted legal separation just this month. Her new boyfriend is already living with her. My cousin has a daughter with her, so they have to deal with each other the rest of their lives. I give it 6 months and she will be pregnant by the new boyfriend.

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#47

They aren't divorced yet, but it's inevitable. Sister married someone who seemed like such a great guy at first. Good job, polite, etc. They rushed into marriage and she got pregnant quick. While he's not a "bad" guy in the general scheme of things, he's not great either. He never, ever offers to help out at family gatherings. While my mother is rushing around preparing a meal for 12 when everyone's in town to visit and everyone else is asking "what can we do to help?", he sits on his butt for hours without offering a smidge of assistance. He expects my sister to watch their kid 24/7 and do everything else, all while his contribution to child-rearing is praising his son and saying things like "what a big boy....you're so handsome". If he's specifically asked to do something "chore-like" involving his child (change diapers, put him down for a nap), he gets frustrated immediately if it doesn't go smoothly and hands his kid off to my sister.

Heard through the grapevine that behind closed doors he berates and calls my sister names for the most menial things. Hasn't turned physical as far as I know. They were in marriage counseling within 3 months of getting married.

It may not be this year, it may not be the next 5...but the divorce is inevitable.

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#48

Sister-in-law here:



The red flags were many (and neon, possibly visible from space) but the biggest one for me was the day I first met her. She was younger than me (my brother is 10+ years my senior) and she asked me if I thought he'd get a credit card with her. She had a laundry list of things she wanted. I did the math and they were in excess of 10K.



If there is a runner up flag, it's the day my dad died about two months after I met her (and four months of brother and her being dating). She went into her boss and started a fight, losing her job. She demanded to ride in the family car (cause girlfriend of 4 months totally counts apparently). She told my brother she was pregnant that same day (she had told me at first meeting that she knew she could not get pregnant at all). They were engaged the day of the funeral. She also tried to walk off with some things my very upset mother gave her (I put them back) and called me the b word twice. I was in my early twenties and had just lost my father. Such a nice woman. /s



They just divorced this year from what I hear. She's got some new boy toy and I hope someone stops her before she sucks him dry too.

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#49

My sister was always smarter than me academically. Growing up I was always jealous she made straight A's in school. I was completely blown away when she called me up during her senior year in college to tell me how she was flunking out. Turns out her then boyfriend at the time pressured her to party so much that her grades suffered for it.

They got married after she dropped out of school. He works for Target and she works at a call center. They're married and living in a s****y apartment which I've helped them pay rent for on more than one occasion. Every time we talk now she seems more and more upset about their marriage but gets defensive when I bring up leaving him. Thankfully they don't have kids.

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#50

It hasn't crashed yet, but much like the town of Centralia PA, near where they live, it is slowly burning to bits underneath.

She was in an abusive, cheating relationship for 3 years (from age 23-26) and they finally split when she got knocked up with his kid. I'm not sure if he ended it with her (on account of him having 3 other kids with other exes) or if she just realized this guy with no prospects couldn't be a father.

Cut to two years later, she has a beautiful son, finished her nursing degree, is finally making decent money with a stable job. She decides to get back in the dating scene, but is 28 and has put on some weight.

She moves in with the first guy she goes on a date with, literally 2 months after they meet. He is nice enough, has a couple kids. But she left her beautiful apartment to go live in a trailer with him.

He has no prospects, is 15 years older, and barely pulls in enough income to live in the trailer. I'm just waiting for the day she wakes up and realizes she can do so much better. She doesn't deserve an alcoholic who makes 1/2 of what she does, leaving her to support his kids, as well has her own. She was just beginning to pull out of debt and the cycle of substance abuse in her family, too.

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Caroline Nagel
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel sorry for the son, put in a situation he did not ask for and has no control over.

#51

My brother is 22 and just married a 20 year old who already has a kid from a previous marriage. A marriage that she was still legally in when he proposed to her. They've known each other less than a year and our family was not included in the wedding in any way. I was not asked to even be a groomsman. I've only met her once and she's very judgemental, I wasn't a big fan of hers, and my parents feel the same way.

The wedding started at five and my parents and I had left by seven, since he didn't bother to talk to us the entire time. Trying to be supportive of this incredibly obvious mistake he's making has been hard. I know if I try to talk some since to him it's only going to push him away further since it feels like the wife is trying to cut my family out. I just hope he comes to his senses before he knocks her up

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#52

Apparently when my mum married my dad, my grandad (my mum's dad) drove her to the church, and just before they arrived, said to her, "I can just keep driving if you want me to."

They lasted 12 years. It wasn't an awful relationship but they were fundamentally incompatible. I love my dad but I still can't work out what the hell she was thinking.

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Beanz' Mum
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother left my old man on the wedding night and went home to her parents. I REALLY wish she had stayed there. I wouldn't be here but it would have been a better outcome than ANYONE having him as a parent...

#53

Hm, there were so many signs...always drinking the last of the milk and leaving nothing for his son for breakfast, leaving garbage piled up at the empty apartment across the hall's door b/c he was too lazy to bring it to the dumpster, moving a toilet full of blue water down the apartment hallway leaving a trail of blue dye which my daughter had to spend hours scrubbing up, never holding a job for more than a couple of months at a time, writing my husband and asking if he can ask our daughter to perform her wifely duties like a good wife...but the end came when he hit her, just that once.
I'd have to say I knew it was the beginning of the end when I saw how nasty they fought, and how he just didn't know when to shut his f*****g mouth, just kept trying to defend himself with his stupid excuses. A smart husband knows when to shut his f*****g mouth, just like a good wife does.

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Beanz' Mum
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, 'smart' and 'good' people learn how to communicate civilly, not just 'shut their f*****g mouths'.....

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#54

My sister got married outdoors on a beautiful, calm, blue-sky day. Just as the ceremony started, a big black cloud moved in over the hill. When the minister said, "if anyone objects to these two being married..." a sudden wind came up, blew the set/stage/alter apart, and it started to rain, hard.

I'm pretty sure it was a sign from God, and I'm a devout atheist.

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#55

The day I met my brother's soon to be wife I knew it wouldn't last. She was about 10 years younger than him(my age) acted 10 years younger than me and had a hair trigger for all of her negative emotions. Took them to long to finally split(happened this year) because my brother was "still in love" after not having sex in 6 years and living as roommates for about 7. He got two great kids out of it but I think he has lost a little of his soul to that harpy whale. 

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#56

Brother-in-Law here- when my sister started cheating on her Ukrainian husband with her Turkish boyfriend.

In context, her Old World husband was the hard working, stuff money under the mattress and pinch ever penny kind of person. He wanted my sister (an American w/ attitude?) to become a homemaker before they bought a house together and move his entire family into it. They stayed married five years like that living apart.

She decided to go with the excitement of a an abusive, controlling asshat who does a 180 on her and lavishes her with sweet nothings since he cannot afford anything. But talk to any other guy and he locks down her entire life including monitoring her phone calls and who sees her at work.

What really ruined her marriage was her husband entering her house while her boyfriend was there.

Husband goes "Who the f**k is this?"

R****d goes "I'm her boyfriend."

Husband goes outside and wrecks boyfriends' car with his mechanics tools.

Less than a year later they divorce and she now cheats on her current Turkish delight.

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#57

My brother's marriage was doomed 6 months into dating. She called the house hysterical because he hadn't texted her when he got home 2 hours ago after their date. She was not upset because he forgot to text. She was upset because she was certain he died. My brother, like frankly all of my family myself included, is not very sensitive. His ex was extremely sensitive. Their relationship was a waste of time for them both.

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#58

When he told my daughter she couldn't buy Diet Coke anymore due to budget constraints while he continued to down a case of beer every weekend. And it took off from there. Increasingly petty rules imposed in a seemingly random fashion for no concrete reason.

No, she didn't stop buying what she wanted.

My daughter in law's OK, though, so the chances of me just being a classic b***h mother-in-law are not as good as they may seem.

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#59

My ex (thank god) SIL. Dad knew after bro brought her home to introduce her. They left to do whatever. Dad was very quiet for a moment, then said gravely, "That b***h is going to be trouble." And he was right. So damn right. How do I document 20 years of batsh**tery? I'd take up the whole page. Some of the million things she did... she started out by hating my mother right off the bat for no good reason. Now, Mom wasn't perfect by a long shot, but she was not a bad person by any stretch (both of her sons in law wept at her funeral and still miss her, if that tells you anything). She even tried to get Mom committed. She turned bro - who was already a lying narcissist - into a monster. She refused to let our parents have a relationship with their children, which is as much his fault as hers. There is soooo much more but I think you get the point. Karma bit bro in the a*s for inflicting her on us, though - they've been divorced for about seven or eight years now, and she took him to court a couple of years ago to increase her alimony. She doesn't need alimony - she has a trust fund, her dad is wealthy. It's pure spite. She's just that nasty of a person. And she won the petition, too! I was amazed. 

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Sophia Grey
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4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is something dreadfully wrong with the laws that allow that

#60

I'll comment on my sister's wedding. When her newly wed husband was too drunk at their wedding to stand up and give their thank you speech by the end of dinner. And picked a fight with our brother. His sister was stoned and walking through the hall with a joint in hand. And his aunt told people she knew my dad from AA - he was never in AA. Classy family. Real classy.

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#61

Sister; but from the start based on my sister and how she acted my whole life. My sister was the kind of girl who absorbed the interests of whoever she liked at the time. Her husband was lazy, so it took a while longer for it to happen. They tried to fix the problem with a kid and the rift grew worse. They finally agreed to get a divorce a month ago and she is moving back in with our mother. I called it long ago when I found out they guy who I had been making fun of my sister with while playing cod was in fact the guy who ended being her next boyfriend.

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Beanz' Mum
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I called it long ago when I found out they guy who I had been making fun of my sister with while playing cod was in fact the guy who ended being her next boyfriend. - can someone decipher this for me please?

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#62

Brother in-law here. When my older brother found out that his wife was [sleeping with] her own cousin, it was a major sign that s**t was falling apart. He still hasn't recovered from the divorce, which screwed him over pretty good (he didn't go to court, so they basically handed everything to his ex-wife), but that's his fault.

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#63

She's exactly like all his previous girlfriends, who all cheated on him, so I don't know why he thinks she'll be different.

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#64

Ooof... my poor younger brother. After almost a year of marriage he broke down to me and told me he and his virgin wife had not consummated the marriage, both in early their 20s. Almost a year after that, they are almost divorced.

I am his older sister by almost ten years. He needed to know that the situation he was in was not okay/normal. I feel bad for both of them.

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Lene
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5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Perhaps she was scared? I mean... people liked to tell me when I was still a virgin how much it hurt and that it can take many times before it feels good. Even my then-boyfriend. So yeah, I was scared about my first time. But it wasn't that bad. The then-boyfriend was, though.

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#65

Sister in law. Married my brother in law, 'George', a straight laced policeman, after knowing him 2 months. None of these things, by themselves was a clear sign. But all of them together made me sure it wouldn't last -- although I hoped it would anyway.

1. First time we met her. I made a joke out of how I let my husband think he's in charge. 'Wink wink, knowing smile'. She looked me dead in the eye and said "You shouldn't joke like that. George is in charge of everything with me. He knows best".

2. Of her 19 tattoos, one was a Wiccan star on her breast. George is a hard core Christian and had no idea what a Wiccan was.

3. Wore stiletto platform stripper shoes with her wedding dress.

4. 5/7 siblings in jail or prison

5. Her sister forgot to tell her (16 year old) nephew about to the wedding. Forgot to bring him. Her family just thought it was funny.

6. This was her third marriage

7. She called George's parents Mom and Dad from the first time they met - before they were even engaged. I've been married 19 years and still don't call them that.

8. In her wedding vows she promised no more tattoos. She slowly had a sleeve done over the next two years.

Again, just one or two of these aren't a big deal. But together they were. Mostly communication problems and no premarital counseling. They were married for 3 years. Sad that I was right it didn't last, she was actually a lot of fun.

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Lene
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5 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So.. he is a hardcore Christian... but do not know basic symbols of paganism? I thought all "hardcore Christians" knew a whole lot of the symbols of faiths they do not like? The whole "know your enemy"-thing? Edit to say: yeah, I know I'm prejudiced against religious ppl who hate others for being religious ppl.

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#66

I'm the sister-in-law. She got jealous that her father respected my degree and career plans and told me that she basically had the same degree as me because she took a couple classes of it.

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