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“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
This post may include affiliate links.
It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
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#2
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
#7
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
This woman isn't even fat or anything, she looks like a normal real life shaped person to me
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Petra Schaap 2 years ago
SHUT THE FVCK UP DONNIE! also: plus sized? lol. Anyway she looks gorgeous
Meep-Meep 2 years ago
That's the same thing I though. She doesn't look plus sized to me?
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Karen Krause 2 years ago
He judges the heart. Then why are you ragging on her body. Guess who else's heart is getting judged, and it looks like a fail.
Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago
Cellulite is not a condition, it is a natural formation of fat under our skin. Just one of thousands of things we get told is wrong to shame us into buying products that don't "fix" it...nothing is wrong to begin with! It's just a matter of being human. And you do require some fat to be alive. Donnie can eat socks.
Pickles, Pennies, & Ponies 2 years ago (edited)
She is beautiful and looks like a real woman. Not those models who have a body of a ten year old boy and needs to eat a sandwich.
Sabrina Longo 2 years ago
Funny they were never concerned about women's health when they are 6 feet and 90 pounds.
A Wild Bean 2 years ago
Oh no, a human being whose body does normal human being body stuff 😱 /s
Jennifer Ness 2 years ago
God wants you healthy wealthy and wise, eh? Did he also request hypocritical, cruel, and judgemental?
notreallyraine (they/them) 1 year ago
she's beautiful ofc but she isn't plus sized i don't think
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Roy Briggs 2 years ago
That broad is just barely plus-sized.... Just barely, I mean she ain't a Person of Walmart regular
Lɶwin Von Schatten 2 years ago
He has the same bra size as her, but other than that... does that dude not own a mirror?
karen Young 2 years ago
Donny you old a*s broken down piece of c**p. What do you do ? Bang teenagers? We got older. We have medical issues. We have children. We go bald. We need pills to help with "performance". Life is really real. People grow
The only Plueschopossum 2 years ago (edited)
I quoted my SO on this topic once and I do it again: "For me a grown up woman NEEDS some cellulite. Otherwise I as a man would feel like a pedo." Was always a little bit insecure about my butt - until I heard this ^^
V33 Namkrow 2 years ago
Exactly...he judges the heart not outer appearance....ever hear of stretch marks on a woman after she gives birth? Probably not
Paul Navarrete 2 years ago
I would have have thought that Donnie's hyper-masculine creed would have something to say about men with a diminutive nickname ending in "-ie". Or maybe he doesn't have time for self reflection with all the work he needs to put in wrangling those saggy tits that seem to want to be as far apart from each other as possible. They are damn near grabbing his elbows in that picture.
Alexandra Nara 2 years ago
In fact that almost every woman has any kind of cellulite or stretchmarks, I guess he is a virgin with hugh experience in selflove and the unability to separate reality from fiction plus total lack of mirrors
mysterious(all pronouns) 2 years ago
That sequin dress is so fun looking! I bet it's itchy though, I have a sequin shirt and it's very fun but also very itchy.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
If Donnie was is a two piece on spring break.....he wouldn't be in a two piece because it's hard to find a top to accommodate one so busty.
Roan The Demon Kitty 2 years ago
"always looking for the good in folks" ... why, cos there's absolutely no good in you? >.>
kansasmagic 2 years ago
Oh, Donnie - feeling snubbed that Cosmo didn't name you the "plus-sized" sexiest man of the year?
The voice of reason 2 years ago
Might be a he???? Would like to see a he give birth to twins and breast feed them.
Anna Stephenson 2 years ago
That guy needs to work on the "wisdom" he says God wants us all to have lol
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Quick question: How is she even considered plus-sized like that? Given their logic, I'd be a whale by now... -_-
Cosmologist wannabe 2 years ago
to be fair, you're a brat. And please use correct adjectives, as in 'beautiful', 'successful', 'smart', 'strong-minded', 'witty'.
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A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
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#11
David 2 years ago
It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
#14
David Wambold 2 years ago
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
#15
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
#17
Zoe DiAnni 2 years ago
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
#28
Mario Strada 2 years ago
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
#33
Lawrencium 2 years ago
I like the "my friend's wives" rather than "my friends' wives" suggesting he only has one friend (with multiple wives).
#34
CanadianDimes 2 years ago (edited)
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
#37
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
#42
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
For anyone wondering, this "samerra khan' person is a female version of Andrew Tate :( i was desperately hoping she was a fake account run by a creep but no :(
#43
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#49
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
This is the guy who was offered an evacuation to the USA and said "I don't need a lift, I need weapons". Considerably more hardcore than any guy who uses Twitter as a penis extension.
#52
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
I love how these men speak so authoritatively about how women think
#54
Nathan Pogorzala 2 years ago
2 of them are barely literate, one is a sexual assaulting scumbag and the other is just human diarrhea Trump.
#56
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
... except, socrates had a brain and he wasn't a weirdo who calls himself ' cobra' tate to sound like a fourth grader trying to impress his friends with his ' gang ' nickname
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What do you think ?
R Dennis 2 years ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 2 years ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
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Rayven 2 years ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 2 years ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
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Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
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Spongebob Sadpants 2 years ago
Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
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Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 2 years ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
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Isabelle Lamarque 2 years ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 2 years ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
R Dennis 2 years ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 2 years ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... Rayven 2 years ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 2 years ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies... Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies... Spongebob Sadpants 2 years ago
Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 2 years ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies... Isabelle Lamarque 2 years ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 2 years ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
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