50 Honest Accounts Of The Hardest Metaphorical Pills People Ever Had To Swallow
InterviewSome things are difficult to hear or admit even if they’re true. That you’re not meant for some people like some people aren’t meant for you, for instance, or that sometimes love just isn’t enough. These are just a couple examples of pills that are hard to swallow, but people on Reddit showed that there can be plenty more, covering nearly every aspect of life.
The online community discussed the topic in a thread started on the ‘Ask Reddit’ subreddit. They opened up about what they consider the hardest metaphorical pill they’ve ever had to swallow and provided heart-wrenching and thought-provoking answers. Scroll down to find them on the list below.
Bored Panda has reached out to the redditor who started the thread, u/Liteboyy, and they were kind enough to answer a few of our questions. Scroll down to find their thoughts below.
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Sometimes I’M the problem. I’M the one who needs to chill out and back away from the situation.
Your spouse does not exist to provide you with free therapy, laundry, food, cleaning, and sex. You have to respect someone's boundaries even if you don't benefit from them. You have to be able to look after yourself and pull your own weight. You should be able to help them and pull extra weight if they're struggling. If you are looking for someone to serve you or complete you, you are not ready for a relationship and you should not be in one.
Sometimes your friends don't consider themselves as close to you as you do to them. The hard pill: This doesn't make them a bad friend, it just means that everyone has their own social network and you can't always be at the center of everyone's.
I've accepted that I'm at the center of no one's life. I only hear from friends when they need something heavy moved, etc.
The OP told Bored Panda that some things are best heard from someone you don’t even know. “I asked this question because I needed to hear something that I did not want to hear. Having a complete stranger say something you’ve been thinking or feeling emphasizes and confirms to you if you’re justified or not in how you feel. That’s because they have no bias, they aren’t even directing something specifically at you, which makes the advice or anecdote all the better.”
No matter how wrong someone is or how painfully obvious a solution to one of their problems is to you, sometimes they have to figure it out on their own and there's nothing you can do to change that.
Someday, everyone and everything will be dead. It's not just that you won't be alive anymore, you won't even be remembered. Regardless of what you or anyone else does, the end result is the same.
"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it." - Mark Twain
“The responses I received were interesting and thoughtful,” the redditor told Bored Panda. “A plethora of people engaging and encouraging each other, swapping stories and sharing experiences, was very comforting and nice to see.”
According to them, sharing stories can benefit people in numerous ways. “For example, people may experience something they feel is normal, but without the anecdotes of others and the added opinions of commenters, they would not discover 'x' is actually bad, or traumatic, etc.,” they said.
Heard this somewhere else and liked it. People don’t have to like you and no matter how “likeable” you are some people just wont like you. That’s ok.
You can be the most delicious strawberry but some people just don’t like strawberries.
Sometimes trying my best is not enough.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life" Edit: corrected spelling
This is so true. It can be painful when you really wanted something. But if you tried your best, at least you won’t regret not trying, doing, or giving it your all. You can still be proud. It’s nothing to be ashamed of not being the best (There are always those that are, were or will be better.) or reaching the goal on a particular attempt (There are often other chances and different ways.)
Knowing that you tried your best gives you an amazing peace of mind. It means you're authentic and true to yourself, and this IS enough.
But what is the best? Sacrificing everything for one goal or cutting your losses before you give too much?
Load More Replies...And that’s when you 1) either improve upon failure, if it’s improbable or 2) accept it. You did everything you could have, but life doesn’t bend to your will. It’s a sad truth, but we’re only humans. If it involves the loss of something or someone out of your control, take time to grieve and process it.
It was the best you had to give in that moment. If you had a chance to do it over you might do it differently but that doesn’t change that you did the best you had in you in that first opportunity. Learn from it, or not, and let it go. The same goes for every moment you win. Learn and move on.
Don't throw good money after bad. Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy. Just because you've invested a lot of time, money, effort, emotion into something or someone, doesn't mean that you should continue investing in them hoping that things will change. Sometimes its better to cut your losses and accept that while you may have wasted time and energy on something, that it's better to stop hemmoraging resources when it's clear that you aren't getting the outcome you want. It's still better to have wasted two years on something that didn't work out than wasting ten years on it because you figure you've invested too much to quit.
You’re not meant for some people like some people aren’t meant for you.
You're not 'meant' for anyone. You might meet lots of potential compatible partners in your life, or none. It's timing, convenience, readiness and chance.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard
Mistakes are how we learn. And if you can't allow others, and especially yourself, some grace you're never going to succeed at anything of value I don't think.
No one wants to talk to a depressed person and depression actively makes you less desirable company to others.
That one hurts a lot, as someone who suffers constantly, I think I've often romanticized the idea that if people see that you're not doing well, then maybe they'll take the time to try and talk to you or brighten your day a bit. That's not how it works though, they just don't want to know. And it's hard to blame them because it's obviously not their problem.
That's a particularly hard pill to swallow for me. The world doesn't give a s**t, it will move on without you.
As an attempted suicide survivor I have to disagree to a point. Being healthier now (mentally) talking with others about their own mental illness and opening up about my past is one of the one things that's helped so many others. Sometimes realizing you're not the "only one" or "not crazy" can be the most uplifting thing when depressed. I'm not saying everyone wants to talk about it but you'd be surprised how many people find comfort when they are able to open up with someone in a safe nonjudgmental environment
Just cause you like someone doesn't make them not a s****y person.
You do nothing on your own, everything you achieve is a result of other peoples actions helping you be able to be in the position you are today. You stand on the shoulders or giants in every way, this is your inheritance as a human, in the form of infrastructure, society, security, healthcare, technology, vaccination, peace, everything that allows you to have a choice in the course of your life is the result of someone in the past constructing a better world. Take this hard to swallow pill and consider it when you decide what actions to take in your daily life.
I want to be one of those people who help the others in the future have better advantages and choices for their lives. We all should be. Who says your life has no meaning? If you say so and believe it, it will actually become true, because you did nothing while sulking about it.
You aren’t that important in the grand scheme of things. People don’t think about you as much as you think. Relax. Don’t sweat your small mistakes.
The grand scheme of things isn't that important either - especially in terms of what I can control about it.
Super simple but...some things aren't just meant to be. A relationship, job, whatever. It's not lack of trying or wanting. It's just how she goes, bubs. The f*****g way she goes.
That it costs money to stay alive.
I grew up religious, and feared sin and temptation. Anything that could be construed as sin, I would avoid at all costs. It took me forever to realize that temptations are healthy, and often point you towards something you need. It's taking the temptation too far that is wrong, not the temptation itself. Like, being hungry is ok, but overeating is bad. It's ok to be attracted to people, but objectifying them is bad. Those kinds of things.
The concept of sin exists so terrible people can point and yell: "Over there! Those are the BAD people!"
When I found out I was born with an abnormally small throat and I would never get to live my dream of being a pharmaceutical tester. That was a tough pill to swallow.
Wanting to help does not mean you aren't making the situation worse.
That I have been the toxic person and destroyed relationships with people I really cared about. And the kindest thing I can do for them is to stay away from them.
Totally, I realized the best thing I could do for people I care about is get out of their way. No one has noticed that I disappeared. I hope life is treating them well.
Just because I would never do something to or hurt someone intentionally doesn't mean they wouldn't do it back to me.
Especially in a relationship, never thought I could be hurt so badly with no remorse.
Sometimes the reason you aren't a doctor or lawyer or a well paying profession is simply because you were too lazy rather than not having the ability.
That sometimes you have to forgive people for being selfish. And that sometimes you yourself have to be selfish.
I'm never going to be as important to some people as they are to me, no matter what I do.
My mom always said in every relationship someone gives more and someone takes more. The goal is trying to keep it as balanced as you can. Historically, for me, this has been true.
I'm not a millionaire who is down on his luck. I was born poor. I am poor. I will die poor. I will never be very wealthy.
I've decided that the definition of middle class is that good financial decisions will help. The rich can f€#&up big time and still be rich. The poor can do everything right and the deck is still stacked.
People very close to you will die, and you will find a way to live on.
The people you love can die, just like that. Suicide, accidents, whatever. And the reasons you’re missing them are, oftentimes, quite selfish. If they [unalived] themselves, then having them back here, right now, would probably just make them miserable.
Very true. I'm alive because my mom is the one person on earth that cares that I'm still on earth, I can't ever tell her how much I suffer so that she won't suffer from getting that phone call.
That obesity can't just go away without doing something.
Well it can if you're sick enough. And sadly it absolutely can arrive without doing anything.
The only constant in my life is me. I can do all I want to keep another person in my life, but we ultimately do not decide whether they stick around or not.
I actually the think the only thing that is constant is change, and thus not “me”
No matter how much anyone likes you or loves you, they have their own life to live and you have your own life to live. No one else is really going to help you or fix things for you. You are on your own and always will be.
Being right doesn't mean I'll win, or that anyone will like me or care.
Yep. I'm at the point where I want even argue anymore. Being right isn't worth the energy for someone that doesn't care either way.
You can't help anyone that isn't helping themselves. There's nothing you can do for them unless they help themselves too. *Nothing.*
That all good things come to an end at some point. Just got out of a rough spot because of that. Things are really starting to go good, and I really don't want it to end, but one day it will. Hopefully that day is a long ways away.
It’s much easier to give advice than make change in ones own life.
"I always pass along good advice. It is never any use to one's self." - Oscar Wilde
Your parents are not perfect, and you can’t change them.
Who is walking around thinking their parents are perfect? And who thinks they have the power to change them? Hell I've seen people walk through their parent's door and instantly go from being 45 to 15 regressing to children.
I was born to sell my labor and die
Life isn't segmented (child, teen, adult, parent) it's just a constant flow with no breaks to settle in
Some people like being unhappy
Sketchy comment in my opinion. Nobody wants to be unhappy. Some are just given a f****d up hand!
That my mother isn’t getting any better and she’s definitely in her last weeks.
Windfalls usually happens to those who don't need it.
Like Millionaires winning the lottery
Nowhere does it say there is anyone who will like you or that you have a special one out there
no one is entitled to your kindness, friendship, and love
You can't help everyone
Also, on a similar note, you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped
Sometimes it’s genetics, and it doesn’t matter how you try to counterbalance it. It sucks and, most likely, not your fault.
Also it’s damned expensive
You can't change someone.
But sometimes you can open their eyes enough for them to start changing themeselves
We are very rapidly killing our planet and us with it. For example, it took millions of years to form the ozone layer. How long did it take for us put a hole in it? Les than 1 million.
Happiness has a ton to do with things you can't control, like genetics.
No-one can expect to be happy all the time. Contentment with your life is very healing though.
Trying to swallow one right now. That an 8 year relationship might not work. People can change and diverge over time.
You're basically powerless.
Not everything can be solves with an apology
Opportunity cost is a very real thing. The time I spent scrolling through Reddit today could've been spent on something I actually enjoyed or on studying or helping people or anything else.
Your primary aim is not to achieve some purpose. You are not just a tool.
This is the best thing you can learn if you are a young person. You are not your job. There is no plan. You are not here for some grand purpose. Life is short: live fiercely and try to find happiness.
Sometimes it doesn't matter how hard you try, you'll fail.
That, at the end of the day, I'm responsible for what happens in my life. Sometimes people do s****y things, that are unwarranted and out of my control, but I get to choose how I react to it and how it impacts my mental health. If I want to be free, its on me and no one else. Someone f***s me over, I shouldn't have trusted them. I got fired from my job, I should have been a better employee. Oh, that boss was a d**k? Well,he didn't show up with a gun and force me to work for him.
Basically, the world exists. Businesses, governments and the people that make them up exist regardless of me. I am responsible for navigating that to the best of my ability.
Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, but this is just moral cowardice.
Pain, sadness, anger, fear, sickness, loneliness are all necessary for you to appreciate happiness, togetherness, serenity, healthiness and life in general.
Only if happiness, togetherness, serenity and healthiness ever show up after
The Krusty Krab is shaped like a crab trap
That I'm a good person, despite what my brain constantly wants to tell me.
There is nobody in the world who can save you, it’s all on you. Be it your mental health or your happiness, nobody can help you truly except yourself.
"What other people think about you is none of your business"
Perhaps I don't give a damn. The opinion of others is not going to make my life one bit easier, so allowing that to rent space in my head is insanity.
No matter how much you love each other, if it's not meant to be you can try as hard as you want and it's still not gonna work.
My success is more a product of the circumstances I was born into than a product of hard work.
Not everything will be logical or make any sense at all.
You can't force people to reason, if they don't want to. Also if they want to do something with you, they would do something about you. And finally - for some people actions and words go in completely opposite directions. Always look at the actions. In a sense I knew all these things theoretically, but it's different when you get the experience to validate it
Egocentric Bias.
We tend to remember things how they pertain to ourselves, not other people. Often our memories of our experiences put ourselves in the best possible light to maintain our ego.
Somebody can do something that's really embarrasing. They'll typically recall that it was no big deal and people laughed.
We'll yell at people who drive poorly and complain about it later. When we do the exact same thing later on we chuckle and laugh it off to maintain ego.
When we complain about people being stupid, we've usually done the same thing before. We forget quickly due to our egocentric bias so our ego can be maintained. We s**t on others for doing the same thing because we don't remember we do the same s**t and it boosts our own egos to do so.
We're all dumb sometimes. That's okay.
Or we judge ourselves by our intentions but others by their actions.
When I die, I think it is very likely that my consciousness will not persist, and that makes me sad and scared to die.
Sometimes there's no right choice, sometimes the outcome will be bad no matter what you choose to do, but you still have to choose.
I am the most reliable level headed person alive in my family. Therefore I can't really count on anyone. I miss my Dad.
Nothing in life dictates ease, fairness, or justice. We try to set up institutions to pursue these goals, but more often than not they are corrupted by the nature of people. It is hard to admit that your life is a burden you need to carry. It is hard to accept that sometimes, you will do everything right and fail. It is hard to address that however hard you push yourself, life is bound to throw new obstacles your way and never give you a break.
The hardest pill to swallow is that of total responsibility. But when we look in history at peoples who have attempted to relieve themselves from this duty, we find the genesis of despotism.
None of this is a justification not to rage against that unfairness and injustice.
Solely being with her won't make me happy.
Sometimes no matter how hard you try and work when if it's not for you it's not for you and then there's people that's much better than you.
If you're male, the legal system doesn't give a f**k about you.
Most of these points have some truth to them. Yet they are cold, limited in scope, and are bleak. Comfort and hope aren't present.
Not necessarily. I find a lot of comfort in a lot of supposed negative ideas. Like the idea that someone else will always be better than me at something. That was an important step in getting better at my perfectionist, controlling behaviors.
Load More Replies...that's what I came down here for. 'existential' instead maybe?
Load More Replies...this is the biggest load i have seen in awhile, and i frequent THIS website, so that says something.
Some of these were good, but at the end of the day it's life advice from reddit. Make of that what you will.
You're wrong about something and just don't know it yet. There's just no way that somebody has it all right. The mark of maturity is being able to accept that you're wrong and change your mind.
How's that infantilizing? Letting people learn on their own is one of the best possible ways for anyone to learn about themselves. What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses. If I pointed everything out to my wife, then I'd be an a*****e. But trying to give someone a different perspective without being condescending is not infantslizing anyone. Ty and have a great weekend!
This post will enlighten someone and someone will see themselves in anyone of these scenarios. If it doesn't resonate with you please move on the drone you're looking for isn't here...
When it comes to the justice system you're not innocent until proven %3 need.
Most of these points have some truth to them. Yet they are cold, limited in scope, and are bleak. Comfort and hope aren't present.
Not necessarily. I find a lot of comfort in a lot of supposed negative ideas. Like the idea that someone else will always be better than me at something. That was an important step in getting better at my perfectionist, controlling behaviors.
Load More Replies...that's what I came down here for. 'existential' instead maybe?
Load More Replies...this is the biggest load i have seen in awhile, and i frequent THIS website, so that says something.
Some of these were good, but at the end of the day it's life advice from reddit. Make of that what you will.
You're wrong about something and just don't know it yet. There's just no way that somebody has it all right. The mark of maturity is being able to accept that you're wrong and change your mind.
How's that infantilizing? Letting people learn on their own is one of the best possible ways for anyone to learn about themselves. What are your strengths and what are your weaknesses. If I pointed everything out to my wife, then I'd be an a*****e. But trying to give someone a different perspective without being condescending is not infantslizing anyone. Ty and have a great weekend!
This post will enlighten someone and someone will see themselves in anyone of these scenarios. If it doesn't resonate with you please move on the drone you're looking for isn't here...
When it comes to the justice system you're not innocent until proven %3 need.