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“Cottage Cheese As A Substitute For Sweetened Condensed Milk”: 79 Unhinged Reviews On Recipe Websites (New Pics)
The internet has been a great source of recipe ideas for any aspiring home chef, but most folks still do their due diligence and check the comments or the reviews. This is where the eagle eyed viewer will find posts by folks that either decided to wholeheartedly ignore the instructions or make bizarre substitutions.
So we’ve gathered the best (or worst) of these reviews for you to marvel at. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and if you’ve encountered something like this, feel free to leave your thoughts and experiences in the comments section down below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
First Time Seeing One In The Wild
RELATED:
#2
Jax Saying What We’re All Thinking
#3
This Is Horrible Fudge
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
Fudging hell, he fudged up that recipe good and proper. I bet he feels like a fudging tool.
We have all been there, scrolling through a food blog, dodging pop-up ads for lawnmowers and reading a 4,000-word essay about the author’s childhood summer in Tuscany, only to finally reach the recipe for a classic chocolate cake. You scroll down to the comments to see if people enjoyed the moist crumb, and instead, you find Brenda from Ohio.
Brenda gave the recipe one star and wrote a three-paragraph manifesto because she replaced the flour with almond husks, the eggs with a handful of soaked chia seeds she found in the back of the pantry, and the sugar with a splash of sugar-free maple-flavored syrup. "This cake was a gritty, soggy disaster," Brenda laments, "I will never trust this chef again."
#4
Review From An Orange Juice Recipe
#5
Thanks For Nothing, Recipe
Huddo's sister 8 hours ago
I bet they copy and paste the review for every site that doesn't mention vegan recipes
#6
Imaginary Soup Wasn't Good
This bizarre behavior is a cornerstone of the internet experience, and it highlights a fascinating collision between human overconfidence and the cold, hard laws of chemistry. It’s a phenomenon often fueled by the Dunning-Kruger effect, where individuals with a limited understanding of a skill, in this case, culinary science, overestimate their ability to "wing it" and then project their failure onto the expert who provided the instructions.
#7
This Is A Smoothie, Not A Carrot Cake
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago
Peeled in the traditional sense though? Or metaphorically peeled?
#8
I Didn’t Have Bananas
#9
Won't Somebody Think About The Shrimp Haters?
The fundamental issue is that many home cooks fail to distinguish between cooking and baking. Cooking is an art, it’s a vibe, it’s a soulful conversation between you and a clove of garlic. If you don’t have shallots, you use onions, and the world keeps spinning. Baking, however, is a rigorous laboratory experiment where the ingredients are not just flavors, but chemical reagents.
#10
Chia Seed Pudding
#11
Inability To Read
#12
I Didn't Know A Frosting Recipe Could Be Woke
When a recipe calls for baking soda, it’s looking for a specific pH reaction to create lift. If you decide to swap it for lemon juice because they’re both "sour," you aren't being a creative Maverick, you are sabotaging a structural process. Research into the chemistry of baking shows that even minor deviations in fat content or acidity can lead to a complete structural collapse.
#13
Math Is Hard
#14
Tutorial Video Too Short, How Will I Make Chicken Korma Now?
Yet, the internet is full of "culinary alchemists" who believe that a recipe is merely a loose suggestion, like a "Yield" sign on a deserted country road. They approach a sourdough starter with the same reckless abandon that a toddler approaches a finger-painting kit, and when the result doesn't look like the professional photograph, they don’t blame their own substitutions, they blame the person who spent six months perfecting the ratios.
#16
Wait, There's Ginger In Ginger Crunch?
#17
"Suffice To Say, I Added 10x The Amount Of Chilis And It Was Too Spicy. One Star“
#18
Sorry Folks, Turns Out Eggs Are Dairy
Then there is the psychological aspect of the "unhinged review" itself. Why do people feel the need to broadcast their self-inflicted failures to the entire world? It often stems from a desire for social validation or a need to regain a sense of control after a frustrating experience. According to studies on the psychology behind online reviews, many people post negative feedback as a form of "altruistic punishment," believing they are warning others about a "bad" product, even when the "badness" was entirely their own fault.
#19
Brenda Can't Cook With Too Many Ingredients
#20
Didn't Read The Recipe And If It Turns Out Bad, I'm Blaming You For It!
#21
Didn’t Make It… Delicious!
In their mind, they didn't ruin the brownies, the brownies failed to accommodate their unique vision of using mashed black beans instead of butter. This cognitive dissonance allows the reviewer to remain the hero of their own kitchen story while the recipe creator becomes the villain who "purposely" wrote a misleading guide. It is a digital age version of shouting at the rain because you forgot your umbrella, except in this version, you also give the rain a zero-star rating on Google.
#22
Leslie’s Struggling Over Here
#23
"It's The Recipe's Fault That I Have No Common Sense!!!"
#24
I Will Admit
The most hilarious part of this trend is the sheer audacity of the substitutions themselves. We’ve seen people replace heavy cream with lukewarm water and a prayer, or swap out yeast for "a very positive attitude," and then act shocked when their bread has the consistency of a hockey puck.
#25
On A Recipe For Carne Asada
#26
Encountered One In The Wild
#27
Just Eat The Incomplete-Protein Soup, Steve
Jaya 8 hours ago
The majority of people eat MUCH more protein than they need, so eating 1 meal without protein is no problem at all. Also, if you eat some rice on the same day, those have the amino acids that lentils are lacking (which is why in the 70s they said vegans could eat rice and lentils in the same meal to get complete protein, but we now know they don't have to be eaten at the same time)
There is a specific brand of optimism required to look at a recipe for French macarons, the most temperamental cookies on the planet, and decide that now is the perfect time to see if you can make them keto, vegan, and nut-free using only cauliflower and hope. While food science research confirms that ingredient functionality is the backbone of food texture and shelf-life, these reviewers remain undeterred.
#28
Why Read The Recipe
Upstaged75 1 hour ago
Most of these could have been avoided with a bit of reading comprehension...
#29
Didn’t Make The Recipe, Instead Rated A Local Takeout Version
#30
Your Recipe Didn’t Warn Me That My Family Doesn’t Like Black Olives!
They are the explorers of the digital frontier, boldly going where no palate has gone before, usually into the trash can. Ultimately, these unhinged reviews serve as a great reminder that while the internet gives everyone a voice, it doesn't always give everyone a thermometer or a measuring cup.
#31
American Can’t Use Grams
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
Every American-made measuring cup I own has both imperial and metric measurements, and some of them are 100 years old. Also, any decent kitchen scale can weigh in either system.
#32
On A Recipe For Microwave Cheesecake
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
There are terabytes of information on the internet about what can and cannot be substituted in a recipe.
#33
Peanut Butter Tasted Too Much Like Peanut Butter
#34
On A Panzerotti Recipe. Deep Frying Isn't Good For Her Tummy
#35
Used Cherry Tomatoes... In A Cupcake Recipe
#37
Didn't Have A Crust
#38
Obligatory "Come On, Eileen..."
#39
“Where’s The Recipe?”
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
...after you scroll past the paragraphs of unnecessary BS and the cook's adorable anecdote about the recipe. Most sites offer a "jump to recipe" link, which has saved me from being a serial kîller.
#40
Allergic To Chickpeas
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 8 hours ago (edited)
What is he difference between a chickpea and a fava bean? Donald Trump did not pay 200,000 rubles to have a fava bean on his face.
#41
Then Why Did You Even Comment?
#43
You Didn't Say Where To Buy Chickpeas (Found On A Falafel Recipe)
#44
I Tried Making This By Guessing The Amounts
#45
The “Yikes” Response From The Creator Made Me Laugh
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
When trying a new recipe, it's extremely helpful to make it exactly as written the first time. If you think it's too sweet, you can try gradually reducing the sugar. I wouldn't automatically halve it, though.
#46
Get It Together, Dave
#47
Nowhere Did It Say To Proof Overnight
#49
Where In The World Would You Get Zucchini Blossoms???
#50
Croissant Clapback
#51
Username Checks Out
#52
Doesn't Understand Weight vs. Volume
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
This is why metric is easier. In imperial measure, an ounce is both a weight and a volume. This person confused the two. A cup of shredded cheese weighs about 4 ounces, but takes up 8 ounces in volume.
#53
Found A Goldmine Under A 3-Ingredient Recipe
Roxy222uk 7 hours ago
Oh for the love of all things holy, why do people not know how to go about things effectively?? So you love the look of the recipe but can’t eat it for some reason then compliment the recipe and the person that created it, and ask if there’s any way they could find their way to creating something similar but suitable for people avoiding x, y. and z. The chef might accept the challenge
#55
I Subbed Three Major Ingredients And It Was Gross...5 Stars!
#57
Finally Came Across One Myself While Looking For A Beef Stew Recipe
#58
“I Do Not Want To Buy An Air Fryer”
#59
If AI Says Go For It, So Do I
#60
Apparently, Dill Is A Perfectly Acceptable Substitute For... Tahini?
#62
Oh My God I Finally Found One In The Wild
#63
Found On A Beurre Blanc Recipe
#64
Chinese Recipes Too Complex For The Average Working American
Nikki Sevven 6 hours ago
There are loads of authentic Chinese recipes that aren't too involved or complicated. Try a stir fry or a fried rice and save making the siu mai for the weekend.
#65
I Also Don’t Know What She Did Wrong
#66
Found On A Recipe For Key Lime Pie
#69
Who Tf Uses Salt And Pepper?
#71
One Star Off Of A Brownie Recipe Because It’s Not Healthy
#72
One Star To Punish Your Use Of Eggs In A Dairy-Free Cake
#73
At Least They Didn’t Rate It Poorly?
Andy Frederick 2 hours ago
"I wish you would include instructions for getting it into my mouth."
#74
Susan Changed Her Mind
#75
Violet Laments American Health Care
#76
Banana Bread
#77
You Don’t Know How To Cut Cake!
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What do you think ?
Tucker Cahooter 2 hours ago
These sound like the sort of people who when they buy a household item, open the box and immediately toss out the instruction manual
linnetteavianna 2 hours ago
I get paid over 220 Bucks per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. i never thought i'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 15k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. the potential with this is endless..., COPY HERE➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺
Load More Replies... Tucker Cahooter 2 hours ago
These sound like the sort of people who when they buy a household item, open the box and immediately toss out the instruction manual
linnetteavianna 2 hours ago
I get paid over 220 Bucks per hour working from home with 2 kids at home. i never thought i'd be able to do it but my best friend earns over 15k a month doing this and she convinced me to try. the potential with this is endless..., COPY HERE➤➤ 𝗟𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗝𝗼𝗯𝟭.𝗰𝗼𝗺
Load More Replies... You May Like 38 Instances Of People Witnessing Such Sheer Stupidity That They Didn’t Think It Was Real “Die In A Minute”: 125 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text 75 Expensive Mistakes People Made That Might Make You Say “Ouch” Just Looking At Them (New Pics)
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