Twitter, X, or whatever it's currently called, is the virtual version of our favorite comedy club. It's where everyone from bored office workers to celebrities with too much time on their hands compete to deliver the funniest one-liners, clapbacks, roasts and jokes - in 280 characters or less.
The best tweets slap like a digital lightning bolt. Short, sharp and unexpected. From observations about daily life to chaotic shower thoughts or brutal honesty, the platform is filled with comedy gold. And interestingly, the wittiest tweets rarely come from comedians. But rather from regular people that aren't afraid to say what many of us are thinking.
One of those people is Mike Primavera. Writer by day. Accidental comedian 24/7. He goes by @primeawesome on the socials. With more than 66,000 followers on Instagram alone, he shares screenshots of his funniest tweets. This guy treats X like an open mic night. And we're here for it.
Bored Panda has put together a compilation of Primavera's best posts for you to laugh at when life gets too much. So grab a snack, silence your notifications, and settle into a front-row seat for what might be some of the most hilarious and relatable content you come across today.
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X (formerly Twitter) might seem like it's falling apart one moment, creating the perfect place for hours of doomscrolling. Then suddenly, the mood changes and it becomes the internet's greatest stage for chaos, wit and accidental comedy. A digital jungle of weird thoughts, relatable moments, and jokes that hit home in the most unhinged way possible.
There's something pure genius about someone being able to condense their unfiltered thoughts, struggles and existential crises into a single, perfectly-timed, hilarious one-liner. And anyone that gets it right deserves all their flowers. Or possibly even their own dedicated comedy show. We're looking at you, Mike Primavera...
The stupid people now believe everyone else is obligated to hear what they have to say.
We gave stupid people and evil people a voice. Now we don't know how to react. Silence the voice or silence them?
Yeah, I remember this one from almost 20 years ago. IIRC he got busted.
Load More Replies...Wouldn't you ensure your outdoor cats are kept inside so they are safe?
The team at Hypefury are experts when it comes to what works and what doesn't on X. They say it's no longer considered unprofessional to be funny online. In fact, they describe humor as a “secret weapon” on X, and it makes sense...
Funny tweets stand out, get shared, and make people feel like they’ve just found their new internet bestie. In other words, laughter = engagement.
"Multi-millionaires and people struggling to grow their businesses to their First Million, don’t need to wear suits and ties and have professional LinkedIn-style headshots. They can sh*tpost their way to their first million sometimes just as easily as they can follow the traditional path of ‘formal, business communication,’" notes the Hypefury site.
Really? He climbed up on that cross and jabbed the nails in himself? Must be ambidextrous.
Load More Replies...Dang. I'm known to be 'difficult' with dental anesthetic so he always hits with me with double the injections, which suckks but I'll take it over immunity. What do they do for you?
Load More Replies...lol that 30k will be enough to get you a full set of teeth in the U.S. Maybe just the top, just the bottom, or a couple in the front.
Last month a friend offered me a weighted blanket and I said I have Melvin a 20 lb. snoring weighted blanket.
That also keeps me warm. Never forget the reason Three Dog Night was called that.
The experts at Hypefury add that when you make your followers laugh, you’re not only entertaining them but also building an emotional bond that can lead to increased engagement, loyalty, and ultimately, growth.
But being funny on X (they still call it Twitter) isn’t just about making jokes; it’s about understanding your audience and the culture of the platform, they say.
"Twitter users are known for their wit and love of clever wordplay, so it’s important to stay current on trending topics and memes," explains Hypefury. "By tapping into the latest conversations and using humor to add your unique perspective, you can create tweets that feel fresh, relevant, and engaging."
We need to apologize to Mexico too. Most of their people are nicer than they are portrayed.
As well as respect for basicially everything the US government controls.
Took a minute to realise this WASN'T a political statement about Ghaza, but an actual joke about the orphaned Bruce Wayne....I hate what society has turned me into. 😮💨
Rocking that outfit right now, like every oder WFH day. Tomorrow for the office, it'll be jeans... and a flanel shirt
The brand strategists over at Robust Branding agree. According to them, around 90% of people are more likely to remember something that made them laugh — even if it’s just a random tweet they scrolled past at 2 a.m.
They add that understanding why humor works in social media marketing requires delving into the psychology of laughter and its effects on human behavior. "When people laugh, they experience a release of endorphins, which creates positive associations with the source of that laughter," explains the Robust Branding site.
Then a left past the Arby's, wait, that's a Micky D's now...
Load More Replies...I'm usually really good at giving directions, as long as they don't ask about street names. Earlier today I was standing outside my flat chatting to a neighbour when an elderly couple stopped their car to ask me for directions to a church, I told them how to get the 2 large churches nearby. 10 minutes later I see the same couple pull up at the exact same spot and tell me the 'church' they were looking for isn't one of the really old churches within a 5 minute walk from my flat but was actually in the random weird little building at the end of my street. It is literally about 10ft from my building, where I've lived for 12years, i felt so dumb! 🤦♀️
I normally give directions by pub, but it's getting more and more difficult - "turn right by the Kings Head, well, it used to be the Kings Head, um, turn right by the soulless lego brick monstrosity of a block of flats where the Kings Head pub used to be"
And if you get to the crematorium you've gone too far, so turn back.
At the end of my street there's a red house where I have to turn right. They day they paint the house I won't be able to drive to work anymore.
Same here, I can get to work by car, Public transport or at a push even walk but I can't tell you which roads I've used. Delivery drivers/strangers will stop me and ask directions but I can't for the life of me tell them where the place I've just come from is
Go over the little hump. Count twenty seven seconds. Left. Eighty eight seconds. Right (by the tree in case your timekeeping sücks). Three minutes, left, no not that left that one is at two forty five...
Load More Replies...Found myself telling someone about a new store being built in the area and telling them it's "where the comic book store that had Pokémon tournaments was, and had the Baskin Robbins that was later on turned into a Subway in front of the lot..." then realized that everything i described was 20 yrs ago. Luckily the person understood the previous building uses but man that's the moment realizing I'm old. Not thinking of what is currently there but what used to be in those buildings at the time I first saw or frequented them.
They are also DELICIOUS! Ding Dongly Ding! Enjoy Soylent Green!
Robust Branding's experts add that, in the context of marketing, this can lead to stronger emotional connections with the brand, increased likelihood of content sharing, greater receptivity to marketing messages, and enhanced memory retention of brand information.
"By tapping into these psychological mechanisms, humor in social media marketing can create lasting impressions and foster brand loyalty," they say.
That's why I'm trying to get in shape - to be able to run away from the zombies
Just surround your house with treadmills, they'll never get anywhere. Haha
Load More Replies...More specifically, the deposit is what you're paying into social security from withholdings throughout your working life, that some are trying to make sure you never collect.
Or worse, your landlord is going to ask you for damages when you've only improved the place.
There's a fine line between being funny and being offensive, warns Robust Branding. "While humor can be a powerful engagement tool, it’s important to use it wisely," the site notes.
Err on the side of caution by avoiding controversial topics, being sensitive to cultural differences, testing humor on a small scale before wider implementation, monitoring audience reactions and adjusting accordingly, and balancing funny content with informative posts.
This will help minimize the risk of offense while maximizing the benefits of humor.
Try going on a cruise if you want a change from that.
Load More Replies...When you see a table of old people in the corner of the restaurant and you realize that yes, those are the people you are meeting and yes, they are your age
When you start hearing your favorite songs at the grocery store, in the elevator, in the doctor's office, and on the phone.
My Father in law takes what he calls "old people" (70-80ish) out on local countryside walks, he's 90!
That's not to say a tiny bit of controversy won't work. There’s something called the “benign violation theory,” which basically states that humor happens when something’s “wrong” but not too wrong. Weird enough to make you laugh, but not so weird you want to log off.
It’s why people love tweets that cross the line just a little bit — like a dog wearing sunglasses or someone confessing that they accidentally texted their boss “love you.”
I do that too! But that’s not my name and I sing it for myself haha 🤣
More likely, don't understand your stuff. i love those bits when my Mom or my Dad can talk about the same things. Then i start going off on the specific stuff and we all start talking about cats and dogs and oh ADHD runs in my family.
The expert comedy writers at GOLD Comedy call tweeting “an art form,” and we'd tend to agree.
Trying to be funny on X can be likened to writing a stand-up set with a 280-word limit — and no stage. The best tweets pack timing, personality, and punch into one tiny box of words. No setup, no explanation — just instant payoff.
And it would seem from this listicle and Mike Primavera's tweets that he's got it down pat!
More often, it's a combination of appropriate responsibility to the pet, and concern about what the dog is doing to the furniture to express its feelings of abandonment.
And a small mix of jealousy that the dog gets to stay home on the couch.
Load More Replies...I went to the grocery store yesterday and there's no one happy to see me when I get home.😞
Friday the 13th comes on a Thursday next month, and that's too d**n close for me.
That's horrible and disgusting! I would never! I'm a thumb girl myself, meatier.
My fat, big-boned male cat has the highest pitched kitten squeak for a meow. You expect him to sound like James Earl Jones based on looks and stance then "eeep!"
I was talking to my cousin yesterday, keep in mind we're the sophicated ones in the family, and I'm emailing her my big Mac tator tot casserole recipe. Midwest born and raised!
Gingersnap DOES NOT lie, and no Darla, it is not a joke. Oddly enough, if you've had enough liquor (beer will do) you'll chow down on it and think it's pretty good. Ya'll need to have the recipe. Be advised it has 1000 island dressing and dill pickle in it for that extra special goodness. As the website says, this is not diet food. https://www.thisisnotdietfood.com/big-mac-tater-tot-cassserole/
I live alone and vacuuming is still an issue. The place needs vacuuming, but the guy who's chore it is is lazy (also me). Eventually, I put the vac out so he'll see it but he ignores it. Then I move the vac near the path through the house, and he sets it aside. Then I put it in the path, and the SOB hangs a shirt on it! After a week of auto-passive aggression, he'll finally vacuum. It ain't easy being green.
I don't want to vacuum because the noise upsets the cat. But I need to vacuum because there's cat hair everywhere.
I heard a song from the 2000s on the radio a few weeks ago that I'd never heard before. It was about somebody having stolen his car radio and now he just sits in silence and invasive thoughts that sneak in. I found it to be a really poignant and deep song, had to look it up right away as I was very impressed with the lyrics
I never understood this. My own thoughts are excellent company! Why do others feel otherwise?
Because some of our thoughts are not such excellent company
Load More Replies...🎶 And all that glitters is gold - Only shootin' stars break the mold 🎶
Err, yes, you can. I mean, I generally choose not to, but in very rare situations I might click on one and view it in my web browser, no login required.
Load More Replies...Pitties area awesome but bad lovers ..drag that security blanket all.over the living room
Had an uncle like that. The morning they were supposed to leave on a 3 week driving vacation, an hour before they are planning to leave, he goes out, jacks up the car and removes all 4 wheels to re-do the brakes and re-pack the wheel bearings. They left the next day.
My friend is like that. I think it originated as a passive aggressive reaction to her very controlling father, but it persists all these years after his death. We just lie to her about what time we have to leave.
... and do my nails... where are my brown gloves... have you seen my keys/phone/etc... wait, I need to change this coat... ad infinitum.
Of course! Side story. I found out I'm queen of the veterans housing next door. Well,I'm queen of the dogs. They get so excited to see me. It's hilarious and awesome
Load More Replies...Not for long and only when they feel safe enough. Mostly, they doze on their feet.
Load More Replies...Does your girlfriend make charts for people? Asking for a friend.
3.50 cups a day = 1.75 cups a meal, so you are short changing her.
Load More Replies...Beatrice is being over or under fed. 1.25 x 3 = 3.75. She's getting an extra 0.25 cup per day if she gets three meals. 1.25 x 2 = 2.5. she's getting underfed 1 cup if she only gets two
"Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's the other way around." - John Kenneth Galbraith
If the earth is flat, just stand at the edge and call out "here kitty kitty kitty!".
