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Sarcastic remarks may not land well in a serious conversation. At best, you will receive dirty looks in return. The worst-case scenario? That could be a free-for-all, depending on the person’s mood or state of mind.
It’s an entirely different scenario if you contextualize said remarks as jokes. You may get a laugh and even gain a new friend if you have the same sense of humor. If this is your brand of comedy, you will likely get a kick out of these posts from the Memenist Instagram page.
We’ve collected some of the memes from the account that are likely to draw laughter while raising some eyebrows.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My Idea Of Being Rich
KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
Guess that makes that Danish politician who told Agent Orange to f**k off wealthy 😂
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Giles McArdell 1 day ago
Those sort of rich people are out there, you never know about them because they're not flaunting how rich they are all the time.
Mari 17 hours ago (edited)
Yes just to warm the house without worrying about the heating bill. Or to take the car to do the groceries instead of walking and carrying all the bags. To be able to go to the hairdresser, to shop new clothes and shoes, so you don't have to be embarrased about your look. To take a shower without timer and fear for the water bill. To be able to help others out, when they are in need. To give nice gifts to all the people you love. To make sure that every kid at school can go on school trips and can have lunch. To donate money to my favorite charities. That is what I would like.
Kali Chaos 17 hours ago
You're one of the good ones, I hope someone hands you a pile of money.
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KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
This - I just want enough money to not have to live by a timetable or decide what I want more when it comes to spending.
Otto Katz 15 hours ago
I want to be rich so I can donate to Planned Parenthood. Donate to paying off medical debt for pennies on the dollar for poor people because the US sûcks w/o universal healthcare. So I can help family not worry about bills. So my partner doesn't have to worry about bills. So I can donate to medical research for cancer, Parkinson's. Alzheimer's, blindness, paralysis. And to progressive causes.
RELATED:
#2
I Thought Highly Of Myself
David Paterson 1 day ago
And seats for those "I overestimated how long I can shop for" moments.
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
That would make my "I only came for ketchup, onions, and frozen peas" shopping even more expensive. At least I'm forced to stop when the cream cheese and grapes topple from the pizza box (which I only bought as an impromptu tray in any case).
Mobey Drunk 19 hours ago
It's more around, "I overestimated how much I was going to buy". I'm constantly realizing how much I forgot I needed. Then, of course, I forgot what I went to buy what I came in for in the first place.
Miracle Max 17 hours ago
some of the larger Dollar Tree locations have baskets at the back of the store. Send help if I buy enough at the DT to require a cart!
Nancie Jeanne 14 hours ago
I remember when department stores had restaurants/cafes so you could have a nice lunch or a sundae and go back to shopping!
Wanda Peachtree 8 hours ago
I always have this moment of paranoia thinking loss prevention is going to tackle me walking towards the door with hands full because the carts are always near the door!
#3
The Right Kind Of Predator Mentality 💀
Lotekguy 23 hours ago
He should add his clothing sizes in case the angry wife wants to dispose of more of hubby's goods while she's at it.
Jeff White 23 hours ago
He should definitely pay her a good price. THEN tell the husband she gave all the tools away to a person who can take care of his s#*t.
Science Nerd 16 hours ago
Check out the movie “The First Wives Club” and how much the ex’s Lamborghini was sold for. Sounds reasonable in this situation.
Natalie Kelsey 15 hours ago
Recently widowed women are easy to find and more pleasant to deal with. My mom was really thrilled to get rid of all my dad's "clutter"
Breadcrumb. 14 hours ago
A friend of mine into boats said he finds good deals at this one particular marina, widows who just want to get rid of it.
Kali Chaos 17 hours ago
You sound like exactly the kind of person that shouldn't have tools or a wife. You ARE the tool.
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Kali Chaos 17 hours ago (edited)
I bought every single tool for my ex so he could succeed in his trade, he chose to fk off and not pursue it. I use those tools to this day, and they are mine. I gave him the option to pick them up, he couldn't be bothered. So I'm a thief for not letting him re-sell tools I purchased? Edit: don't start at me like "bUT thEy WeRe a GifT". Would've loved it if he had "gifted" me anything for the rent, utilities, and all the free work I did on his truck and motorcycle. That would've been nice.
Load More Replies...Experts have already established the connection between intelligence and humor. Many argue that processing humor, especially dark and spicy humor, requires cognitive and emotional abilities.
#4
That’s The Aim
Fire Singer 19 hours ago
I actually asked for, and received, a "demotion" at work from a senior position back to a junior position because the junior role fit me better. I'm lucky enough to have a boss who not only understood but let me do it and I've been so much happier. It's not a lack of ambition, it's knowing my limits and personality. :)
Charlotte 14 hours ago
This. My husband has an IQ of 140. He found a union janitorial job (so health, dental, pension) and is happy as a clam
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CaliPanda 22 hours ago
This was me in the last several years working for corporate America. Just leave me to my job - but no, HR required some sort of learning or stretching for “personal enrichment.” F that sh1t.
Roester 20 hours ago
"My only goal is to remain employed so that I can continue to pay for my living expenses while finding fulfillment in the areas of my life unrelated to a day job." Stolen quote.
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Sue User 15 hours ago
My small company just got bought out. I am waiting for the " where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?" question. In ten years dot dot dot dead.
Charlotte 14 hours ago
In 10 years getting out of bed will be a significant accomplishment. Sorry, why were you asking?
Load More Replies... #5
Answer The Door And Let Them Know, Maybe ?
NightOwlPanda 1 day ago
Absolutely. Little hellions need to be taught early not to be cruel to animals.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 1 day ago
1000% percent agree. Next time the little bas.tard would have gotten a basin full of rotten eggs, or ripe urine, or fluorescent orange paint, or...
Rick Murray 18 hours ago
Just crank open the door and yell at the father "anybody messes with my cat again, I *will* go back to prison over it, understand?" and then slam the door before there's any response. If the father has anything like a functioning brain, he'll tell his misbegotten offspring to stay well away.
TotallyNOTAFox 19 hours ago
Tipp for parents: Educate your kids properly or somebody else will do it some day in a less gentle way (non- violently)
#6
This Level Of Petty!
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
That sounds like right. A fat person can be the happiest person in the world and the world is still like "Okay but you're still ~FAT~ so it doesn't count."
nicholas nolan 21 hours ago
They could also be a fat marathon runner and it wouldn't be enough.
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Rick Murray 18 hours ago
Wait - dude has a family and a career and a house ... and dad's like "grow up and take responsibility"? What? 🤦🏻♀️
Andy Frobig 14 hours ago (edited)
Parents like this need to remember that there are good nursing homes and there are bad nursing homes, and some day that might be relevant to them
But how exactly does the brain process a joke, for example? According to researchers, it involves a three-stage theory. In order for a person to comprehend a joke, they must:
- Mentally represent the joke's setup.
- Detect a dissonance in multiple interpretations.
- Resolve that dissonance by appreciating the funny interpretations while also inhibiting the unfunny, literal ones.
#7
Know Your Customer !
Talis 1 day ago (edited)
Peacocks are disco chicken. (Helped a friend's child to not be afraid of them anymore.)
Auntriarch 19 hours ago
My goddaughter was staying for Christmas, he mother said she might not eat turkey as she'd never had it before. I was willing to cut her a bit of slack as she was 4.:So I was putting the turkey in the oven and shouted to the kid yay big chicken have you ever seen such a big chicken. She got really excited and we danced around the kitchen singing yay big chicken. She ate it for the next week, without trouble. I have since confessed. She's now 35, a vegan, happily married to a carnivore (dear chap), and has forgiven me
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
For my sister we had 'white ham' (chicken loaf). Ironically, now she won't touch ham but loves chicken loaf. We also called mashed potato 'fluffy white clouds' so hat we could then give her 'fluffy yellow clouds' to get her to eat mashed potato with pumpkin mixed in. She still won't eat pumpkin on it's own though. She is 26 now :)
Sam Dara 20 hours ago
Ah, so are marketers trying to mother us adults, like with the "chicken of the sea" brand?
Kristen 21 hours ago
My mother tried this with me when I was young. I hated steak but loved chicken, so she told me the steak she gave me was "bovine chicken". I took a bite then told her she was a liar and refused to eat anymore.
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
Confirms my take that marketing/PR/advertising is just brainwashing lies by another name.
Lotekguy 23 hours ago
Careful, Scott. That sounds rather ominous, particularly as we await the Epstein files.
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Bi.Felicia 14 hours ago
I remember us doing something similar to this to my youngest sister. She insisted she didn't like seafood/scallops, so we had fried some scallops up and told her that they were tater tots and she loved them. I particularly love when Nantucket Bay scallops are in season, they are so sweet and tiny. Also quite expensive, but worth the yearly treat.n
#8
Fun Police !!
#9
The Hero We Thought We Didn’t Need
Cuppa tea? 20 hours ago
Had similar experience. Lady just straight away asked for manager. As per procedure I was obliged to ask why, was there something I can help her. She was calm, but said literally: pal, you are not paid enough to listen what I'm about to unleash, so please here's my details and get me someone higher up, so you can have nice day 😃
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 day ago
Ha! I need to try this. Most of my customer support don't deserve my rant!
Kitty Litter 18 hours ago
Working customer service is brutal, it's not their fault that you have an issue.
Ghostchaplain16 12 hours ago
I once had two calls on hold: One was a jobsite superintendent on an energy plant whose nickname was "Battle Ax" and the other was the mother of a worker upset because her son was let go after missing days two through nine of his employment without calling in to explain. So, yes, you guessed it: I pick up Line Two and say cheerily "Hey Battle Axe, what do you want now?" My father, uncles and grandfather were truck drivers and/or coal miners, and I'd rarely heard the language that mother used before I could explain. (Nope, she didn't believe me.)
Many of the memes you will see on this list lean toward the darker kind, mostly with hints of sarcasm. Experts describe this as aggressive humor, a style incorporated by insult comedians like the great Don Rickles.
According to University of Western Ontario psychology professor Dr. Julie Schermer, people with an aggressive humor style are less likely to feel lonely because they rely on group dynamics to roast others.
#10
Need To Check Norway’s Immigration Policy
Pernille 1 day ago
I think itsrthe Finns that drink the most coffee in the world, this must have been written by a US american.
Cerridwn d'Wyse 16 hours ago
Coffee per person. They're talking coffee volume. There are more people in Norway than Finland
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Zig Zag Wanderer 1 day ago (edited)
Yeah, lotsa coffee, but it's weak af like American slop. Italians, on the other hand, can't open their eyes without at least 2 espressos mainlined.... And when Italians make espressos, they do it seriously!
Mike F 21 hours ago (edited)
You can find hundreds of different kinds of coffee here, if you CHOOSE to drink dishwater coffee, that's entirely on you. I personally love a good dark roast coffee, but not everyone likes their's to double as paint str1pper. And STOP judging people by their preferred drinks, food, etc. It's sickening.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 21 hours ago
One of my former students is a chiropractor in Norway. So they must also have the easiest professional exams too. (He couldn't pass the US one.)
#11
Reminds Me Of Double Income, No Kids
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 day ago (edited)
I've never felt like that. And we've had horrific problems, 5 months in PICU, 3 surgeries. Still never thought it was a burden. Best to be prepared, or don't have kids!
Beth Wheeler 14 hours ago
That was a terrifying time for you. I hope all of you are OK.
Load More Replies... Kelly Scott 18 hours ago
What's interesting is that people who decide to not have kids research the pros and cons much more than those who do have kids. "You don't know what parents go through!" "Yes, we do, we did our homework."
Bob Brezniak 18 hours ago
I NEVER feel sympathy for "overworked" parents. It's LITERALLY your choice....deal with them.
Charlotte 14 hours ago
I am sympathetic - being stressed and exhausted is awful - but don't make it out like non parents owe parents something. For me that's where the line is
Load More Replies... nicholas nolan 21 hours ago
Dear god, you are somehow MORE tedious than Elie up there.
Load More Replies... Anne Parks 10 hours ago
Yep! Exactly why we have pets instead! If they p**s us off we can just nuke em.
#12
Why Not
Bear Hall 1 day ago
Agatha Christie got her inspiration for new m****r ideas while washing the dishes.
Dave Reekie 1 day ago
Mainly ideas on how to m****r her husband for not helping?
Load More Replies... Norm Gilmore 1 day ago
That's genius. Going to try it next time, but with a bottle so I get a satisfying run of bubbles. :-)
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
I tell my kids while they are scrubbing if they listen closely they can hear germs scream.
Load More Replies... Ghostchaplain16 12 hours ago
We have got to be brothers back there somehow. We think much to much alike!
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On the opposite end of the spectrum from aggressive humor is self-enhancing humor. As the name suggests, it’s about being able to laugh at yourself and the absurdities around you.
According to Dr. Schermer, people who embrace this type of humor are less likely to show signs of depression and loneliness and have better relationships with others.
#13
You Go Girl !
#14
Fair Enough
Talis 1 day ago
Back then, I would have been so stupid to reply "No thanks, I have my own car parked here." 😅
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
I swear some people need a device that lights up to tell them someone is flirting. I actually had to tell my now husband " I am flirting with you because I like you" on our first date.
Load More Replies... #15
It Would Seem The Chosen One Has Not Been Flossing
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
That reminds me of when one of my friends had their first baby. They sent out cards for people to mark what they would like the baby to call them as they grew up. Another of my friends wrote 'Sir Nathan'. I don't know if it has actually been used as his title, because I haven't seen any of them for a few years, but it always makes me smile to think about.
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
We have a dear friend whose daughter insisted on going by Sir Daughter the Brave as a 4 year old. We still call her that. She's 17. She's still eye rolling but you can tell she secretly loves it.
Load More Replies... Lotekguy 23 hours ago
Interesting idea. Next time I have the chance, I'll try using "the guy who gets the 50% discount".
Jawbreaker 17 hours ago
I used to book tables at restaurants as “Spiderman”. It was fun for all.
If self-enhancing humor is what you want to develop for yourself, Dr. Schermer has one tip: learn to love yourself.
"The individual needs to be aware of and avoid concentrating on putting themselves down in the situation that they are recalling," she stated.
#16
Yearn For The Urn
Kelly Scott 18 hours ago
Wait till ICE shows up. They'll deport those ashes after shooting them.
Auntriarch 19 hours ago
My father in law was summoned for an alleged traffic collision. He'd been ded three months by then
Bob Brooce 11 hours ago
One stumble will give a whole new meaning to "The suspect is in the wind".
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#17
Men Too Can Be Pampered
Did I say that out loud? 1 day ago
"Don't send me flowers when I'm déad. If you like me,send them while I'm alive." Brian Clough.
Bored Jellyfish 13 hours ago
I remember giving my boyfriend flowers on a whim, and worried he'd think it was weird. He didn't stop smiling for days!
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 13 hours ago
That’s what I was thinking. LGBTQ?
Load More Replies... Fungus John 13 hours ago
probably things that would land her on a registry if she actually was a man
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 1 day ago
Better them than me (unless it's chocolate *gluten free*, but then again, the two times I've been given chocolate by a guy, I just felt awkward and wished they hadn't)
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 1 day ago
I will take chocolate from anybody. It is a surprise i did not end up in a van as a child
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Kerry Borthwick 15 hours ago
My bf is like a large teddy bear and we treat eachother as we are equal in our relationship
Load More Replies... #18
Andrew Tate The Great Conqueror 🤡
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
More like Attila the Hun, I'd say, or maybe Attila the Salesman. Pathetic AND dangerous - every serial rápist's role model.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
Never forget that this is the man who adamantly believes that female climax is a myth because he's never seen it himself.
Jaya 23 hours ago
Imagine thinking that men who stay in a happy marriage their whole life and give their kids a very stable upbringing, are losers. And that men who miss out on that happiness and give their kids a more difficult and unstable life (you can't be in your kid's lives a lot if you have 5 kids who live in different homes), are winning. That is some serious twisted thinking.
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
I'm curious what exactly he thinks he's conquering. DNA? Other idiots? His insecurities?
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 23 hours ago
Me, as Jerry Seinfeld, "but I don't wanna be a conquerer!"
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 18 hours ago
He claims to have ten, but there are no public records that this twätbasket has actually kids.
#19
Sometimes I Wonder If Cats And Dogs That Are Born In July Just Think That The World Will Continually Get Darker And Colder Forever Until They Find Out About Spring
Jaya 23 hours ago
Lol. But I don't think a dog thinks you're crazy for getting a tree in the house, I think a dog thinks "Yeah! My human finally realized how awesome trees are! Let's fill the house with so much trees that it becomes a forest!"
Charlotte 14 hours ago
Or in the case of one of my dogs - Yay! Indoor plumbing!
Load More Replies... Fire Singer 19 hours ago
My dog at least, definitely does not notice the passing of seasons because I swear he wants to play fetch until he realizes it's cold outside and looks at me like "Uh...mom? Turn on the sun please."
Kelly Scott 18 hours ago
That's the dog's thought. The cat, however, is in constant anticipation.
Remi (He/Him) 23 hours ago
he needs to see a vet. Either the scent glands are blocked up or he has worms
Load More Replies... #20
That’s Why I Came To You Guys !
#21
Gotta Be Rich To Have Kids These Days
BookFanatic 20 hours ago
I always liken having kids to having very expensive pets. My friends with children are not amused. My fellow childfree friends are definitely amused.
#22
That's A Bait Question To Get You To Volunteer Information
Pheebs 15 hours ago
Got pulled over once. Was going like 5-10 over the speed limit, only car on the road early morning. He started the intimidation speech right off with “I used to live in your neighborhood” (after looking at my license) “I know who all the trouble maker kids are”. He did not expect me to reply with “oh, so you’ve met my cousin?” Lol. No ticket. He didn’t even have time to run my tag as he got called off to something bigger than an 18 year old late for work.
Andy Frobig 14 hours ago
Too bad they didn't pull me over in my RV..."Far from home? I sleep right up there"
#23
Me Irl
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
Our neighbors to the back of us have a lovely dog named Hank. I have absolutely no idea what their names are.
Auntriarch 19 hours ago
This is absolutely normal. My parents got a Christmas card from Keith at number 24. They had no idea who Keith was. Nor did I. Until I checked out number 24. It was Hollie the collie's people, obviously......
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gvizzle_ 74 22 hours ago
Our old neighbours called my husband Brad for almost a decade. His name is not Brad and we never corrected them.
pineapple87 16 hours ago
Better than neither the dog nor the human being called anything remotely like Steve
Diandra “Mss Didi” Blackthorn 16 hours ago (edited)
THAT is exactly how I know My neighbors - by their pets' names!!! "Hey, Charlie's dad" and "Hey, Mitten's mom!"
Kitty Litter 18 hours ago
I know all of my neighbors pets names and maybe half of the human names. Priorities
#24
Always !
KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
Seen. It's also why I travel solo without a timetable, just a list.
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Lotekguy 23 hours ago
Not always. The slow one spends a lot of time in front of me at the grocery checkout counter.
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#25
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
Tell them to stop or you'll send them packing. Might put a good scare into them and they'll mend their ways.
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#26
Jesse 1 day ago
The Josh fight actually happened! Nonviolent, they crowned an 8yo Josh the winner.
Mems of Ice 1 day ago
i remember reading about this, loads of people turned up. Looked like they had a great time.
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 13 hours ago
Upvote for the Highlander reference.
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#27
Hurts ;_;
Fire Singer 19 hours ago
My parents did the whole "Your old disease ridden dog is going to live with a nice old lady" bit. I understand why they did it really and hold nothing against them for it, but still hurt when I learned the truth. :(
#28
Amen
howdylee 22 hours ago
We frequently split a meal. One will order steak and one will order fish, and then we share so we both get to try 2 things :)
Trillian 23 hours ago
Just imagine it was the other way round. No way are you getting my food.
Fire Singer 19 hours ago (edited)
Aw, my dad did this for me just last mother's day. I had taken my mom out for brunch since I have no kids, and my dad came along of course. I ordered eggs benedict and the hollandaise had like cinnamon or something in it that just did not sit well with me. My dad said he liked it fine (not sure he did) but he traded me his breakfast burrito.
Sue User 14 hours ago
There. Came here to use this as an acceptable scenario of trading food.
Load More Replies... Talis 19 hours ago
But can you read what the meal tastes like? I don't know whether there is any wife that wants Owen...
Pheebs 14 hours ago
Seriously. And a lot of menus don’t list all the ingredients. My hubs has traded meals with me because the “vegetable” medley my meal came with ended up being peppers, onions, and mushrooms - all of which I can’t eat.
Load More Replies... #29
2026 Got Me Like
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
I just about know that they're in the double digits by now. Nothing to do with rent, I'm just not interested in Apple and have always been blissfully ignorant about their phones.
Joe Methuen 1 day ago
I'm just as ignorant about which candy my android OS version is named. Ignorance is better.
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#30
Stay Humbled, Little One
Pheebs 14 hours ago
Used to get heckled in my programming classes. Always by one of the youngest guys in the class, and me being either the only, or 1 of 2 women in the class. One idiot saw the word “colleague” (web site demo) and kept interrupting with “can’t you spell? What's that word supposed to be - col-lee-GAY, col-lee-GUH?” Teacher was zero help shutting down idiots, and clearly stopping to tell the ignorant one that that’s how the word is spelled was pointless… So I just said I used the British spelling and moved on. Idiot spent the rest of the demo trying to figure out if it was actually the British spelling. 🙄
#31
Owner Got No Chill
Jaya 23 hours ago
I don't care how funny the owner is, a rat in a restaurant is a huge problem.
Mike F 21 hours ago
So is lying about seeing a rodent in a restaurant and posting said lie online because you couldn't get the "influencer" discount.
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#33
Top Notch Dad Joke 🔥
#34
#35
Grandparents Are A Blessing ♥️
Sue User 14 hours ago (edited)
My mom used to tell the story about how the rushed back to the States to show my eldest sister to my dying paternal grandmother and one of the last things she said was " I would know her in a million". Gee Mom, thanks for reminding me that I never had her in my life. So hugs from an internet stranger.
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#36
Workplace Etiquette
Fire Singer 19 hours ago
I like the company I work for and cannot complain about compensation, but a higher up (who is lovely by the way) said something about his "interior decorator" and I laughed. Then I realized it wasn't a joke. He took it well but it really hit home we have two very different incomes. :P
#37
GalPalAl 20 hours ago
Sounds like the person who sent this has real game. He might actually take your girl when you aren't looking
Roxy222uk 5 hours ago
Well, she’s not an object to be lifted up and walked off with, but hopefully she’ll tire very quickly of a partner who can’t cope with her having a conversation with someone else.
Load More Replies... #38
Me Trying To Help Others
Lila Allen 22 hours ago
I didn't notice til you said something... I'm so curious how you'd even get into this position.
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Brittania Kelli 1 day ago
I really need to know what you did to have someone down voting most of your comments, who's breakfast did you wee in? Did you insult someone's dog? Or mum?
Load More Replies... #39
That’d Be Me 😭
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
I knew what was coming, because I would have been the same if came to Lego. I have my own collection and I guess in a few years I will have to decide whether to let my kids play with them, or keep them for myself!
Kelly Scott 18 hours ago
Dayum. And I thought I was bad, keeping my bag full of plastic animals for over 60 years.
Nat Rich 17 hours ago
I feel guilty to this day, nearly 20 years on because my sons gran bought him some huge Lego Star Wars spacecraft type thing for Christmas. Anyway I hated lego with a passion so after a while I just binned the thing. I didn't get the whole Lego thing back then, he's 25 now and still loves lego and I think I'm pretty fortunate that he doesn't seem to remember this.
Jaya 23 hours ago
Next level grammar n**i: a grammar n**i who's trying to police who can or cannot play with Lego, twice as annoying. There will always be people who say things wrong, get used to it.
Load More Replies... #40
Boss Move
#41
Cosmos in your eyes 17 hours ago
My mom's friend's daughter had a bad breakup and said she if God wanted her to get married, he'd have to bring the man into her house. Turns out she married the guy who redid her floors.
Niels AirMax 22 hours ago
That would be me. Thanks for exposing me. And I thought I am a friggin' genius... No S**t, I'm actually relying on this. Don't tell me, it's not happening. 🫣
#42
That’s Brutal !
SchadenFreudian Psychology 13 hours ago
I wish I’d thought of this, after being fired from a job.
Did I say that out loud? 1 day ago
"Unrealistically positive" ? What's that saying about if it sounds too good to be true?
Michael Largey 21 hours ago
Maybe he just made it sound like a fair wage and a reasonable benefits package. At many companies that would certainly be unrealistically positive.
Load More Replies... #43
A Dream
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 day ago
Or a country where you get any refund at the end of every month automatically, like the UK. They do tax sensibly there.
KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
Unless you owe them exactly 2p and they threaten debt collectors if you don't pay it. so I paid it by cheque (circa 1998)...
Load More Replies... Fire Singer 19 hours ago
That's what I don't get about people raving about "increased take home pay." You do realize that just means you're not taxed on it now. Trust me, the government will get their full tax dollars from everyone but the billionaires.
Jack 22 hours ago
Interest free? Come on. It takes all year to send that tax money in, so the tiny amount you overpayed would not have earned you any interest at any bank. A few cents toward the end when the balance is big enough.
highwaycrossingfrog 18 hours ago
Yeah but you've still given them your money for x months for no reason other than they said you had to, and got zero in return
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Katie Gray 16 hours ago
The problem in the US with this post is that Advanced Earned Income Tax Credit is not a thing anymore. Advanced Education credits, Refundable Child Tax Credit, Excess SS withheld, and the fraudy Fuel Tax Credit, Claim of Right and fake write in credits can’t be paid in advance. Stop shaming the 40% of people that were never going to owe tax to begin with and receive a refund from non-withholding sources. They could, and do, maximize their take home pay and get an additional refund.
#44
Wait Until You Hear About Kermit The Frog
Robert Millar 1 day ago
So do Billy the Kid and Henry the Eighth. And Jabba the Hut, if that's how you spell it.
ChickenWhisperer39 1 day ago
Don’t forget about God the Father, God the Son, and God the Spirit
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#45
Role Model
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
Wouldn't happen where I work. As soon as HR (sorry, ''people & culture') knows someone is leaving, for whatever reason, they send out a company-wide email. I don't know many of the people outside of my local area, let alone the ones in other states, but I still get informed when they leave.
Sue User 13 hours ago
No one knew. He just decided his last day of working and left.
Load More Replies... Otto Katz 14 hours ago
I basically did that. Last day, Gave my boss a hug, said bye to the 2 people I liked, and left. I worked there 30 years. No card, no cake, no lunch. Basically, nothing. I had dreams for 3 years about it. It was sad.
Charlotte 14 hours ago
I hear this. When I was downsized after 12 years, the only people who wished me well were the consultants and one very senior person. Apparently HR told everyone that they were not allowed to "mark the departure" of people who were downsized. I was not impressed
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 18 hours ago
That's no fun at all. I spent a good 8 months winding up my soon to be former colleagues. And I had a retirement tiara and a very nice lunch and a bucket of tiny plastic flamingos
#46
I Have Found A Customer 😭
Bear Hall 1 day ago
"I also fixed the mistakes you made in your calculations and rewrote the complete third chapter. Yes, we work on the same field. Why do you think I can't make ends meet?"
Talis 1 day ago
"P.S.: Once you realize your financial situation only gets worse, send me a message! I always have something to do for a talented henchman."
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 22 hours ago
Really it was. I mean stealing it s***s, but at least they didn't fail their classes.
Load More Replies... Diandra “Mss Didi” Blackthorn 15 hours ago
Wow. A thief with integrity. I guess that will improve their Karma.
Fellfromthemoon 2 hours ago
If I were in OP's shoes, I'd probably try to keep up the convo, asking for files, and so on. More opportunities for the police to localise the thief.
#47
Well Played…
Brittania Kelli 1 day ago
That's quite an old "story" that's been doing the rounds long before 2021.
[>.<]/ 19 hours ago (edited)
I mean what are you gonna do with a tenner? Get a cup of coffee?
Load More Replies... Cosmos in your eyes 17 hours ago
I tried doing something similar with $1 coins. If I wanted the $1 coins I'd have to order like $1000. I asked if I could keep $20 and deposit the rest. They wouldn't let me so yeah. This isn't a thing.
Lily bloom 17 hours ago
That'd probably be a special order as most US Bank branches generally do not have a need for that many to be on hand. Most would have way more than $1000 in $10 bills in the vault just to handle day-to-day transactions. Its just a PITA for the bank staff to deal with your coin proposal. If you are friendly with someone that runs a store, perhaps they could order single rolls in their change order from the bank they do business with.
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#48
Hurts ;_;
#49
Proud !
KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
I have spent a large portion of today on Temu and Amazon and bought three 99p Kindle books. I cannot tell you how proud I am of myself.
Sue User 13 hours ago
Having trust issues and also overanalyzing everything really curbs the buying online.
Load More Replies... #50
That’s It, I’m Out
David Paterson 1 day ago
Except in surgery. Technology in surgery can advance as much as it likes.
Khavrinen 20 hours ago
There are technologies that I would like to see advance further. AI IS **NOT** ONE OF THEM! Stop it with that garbage, already!
Nikki Sevven 19 hours ago
Technology advancing isn't the problem. The problem is misuse of advanced tech.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 13 hours ago
Maybe we should have stopped after the internet but before social media.
Niels AirMax 22 hours ago
I do! I'd love to see how we end! I hope, there will be explosions and fire and mayhem! 🤗
nicholas nolan 20 hours ago
It won't. It'll be some climate b******t. Back in MY day the apocalypse was COOL. We had the last V8 Interceptor, and Tina Turner in chainmail, and Austrian Robots, and...
Load More Replies... #51
#52
Angela C 12 hours ago
2014 I had 3 human deàths in my family plus my childhood dog so I feel that
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#53
Never Give Up The Seat You Paid For 🗣️
siedzac niej 1 day ago
How is this plane seat arrangement work? the AI slop is seriously funny.
Michael Largey 15 hours ago
"No, ma'am, I'm just not much of a fan of passive-aggressive entitlement."
Giraffe Sitter 21 hours ago
This one does look fake but there are actually some cabins with rear -facing window seats (e.g. British Airways business class on 747s and A380s).
#54
Is His What Girl Moms Do !? 😭
Auntriarch 18 hours ago
Make her a new licence and explain that the DVLA will replace a lost one. If you're going to do pretend stuff, do it properly
Roxy222uk 4 hours ago
I’m curious. In the US is it actually illegal to drive without your driving licence with you?
Andrew 40 minutes ago
Yes. It's usually a small fine, but will be waived if you show proof that you have one within a certain time frame. And yes, they know if you have one, but them's the rules.
Load More Replies... #55
Hacker
highwaycrossingfrog 18 hours ago
Hmm. I love waking up in the middle of the night and going back to sleep, but I hate alarms
Sue User 13 hours ago
Get old. This happens whether you want it to or not.
Load More Replies... Lotekguy 19 hours ago
Not mutually exclusive. Does the name Hannibal Lecter mean anything to you? How about Lex Luthor?
Lily bloom 17 hours ago
Are...are those...real people? I'm a little zooted atm ... and so really not sure. Ive seen the movies though
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#56
I Bet Uncle’s Got Something To Tell Too
Oskar vanZandt 16 hours ago
Not a good situation for anyone... To be so riled up as to feel you've got an anxiety disorder- not the kind of relationship anyone needs.
#57
When You Add One Banana And Suddenly Every Other Fruit Becomes A Background Character
Teutonic Disaster 10 hours ago
I hate AI images as much as the next guy, but this one is hilarious.
Rick Murray 18 hours ago
Almost a shame they pasted the message on top of this AI picture. Sad little oranges, and banana not to scale. 😂
Phantom Phoenix 23 hours ago
Holy giant double-peel-layer banana, Batman! I've now lost all sense of scale!
#58
Such Luxurious Life
Lily bloom 17 hours ago
The whole space could be nice, for now it's adequate
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KatSaidThat 23 hours ago
If I ever somehow win enough money to be able to buy a house, this will be my first month(s) until I work out what takes precedence in furnishing it.
Riaan van der Walt 1 day ago
Wow, and so clean. Just need more monitors, maybe a racing simulation setup and of course a big tv.
#59
Curse Of The Carrots
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
Anyone else here has read that story about the Indian man who accidentally ordered a full lorry of rice? If not, look it up.
Laura Gillette 19 hours ago
This happened to me once with apples. Asked for 3 apples. Got 3 bags of apples.
Lily bloom 16 hours ago
That would be extra hilarious if delivered through instacart since their logo is a carrot
#60
Having Sudoku Knowledge In 2025 Is Elite
Michael Largey 21 hours ago
Sudoku was invented in that mysterious city of the East, Indianapolis, Indiana.
#61
Yup, I Can Vouch For That
#62
#63
I’m A Man And I’d Do It Too😭
#64
The Consequences
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
Considering the minimum wage dishwashers (likely) receive you might go easy on the dessert, lest you spend your next years chained to the sink.
BookFanatic 20 hours ago
My father and I were in this situation when I was a kid. He'd legit forgotten his wallet and the server said I'd have to wash all the dishes. I was too young to realize it was a joke and burst into tears. Dad left me (thanks, Dad) as collateral while he went to collect it. Got a free ice cream for being brave.
Jane Doe-Doe 17 hours ago
On body cam videos on YouTube the police arrest you if you can’t pay your bill
Did I say that out loud? 1 day ago
Oh, please tell me she got her comeuppance?
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#65
I Mean, It’s Subjective
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
Karens have those DnD alignments. A Lawful Good Karen gets you a $200 voucher while a Chaotic Evil Karen is the one who's responsible for the flight being delayed.
#66
Nikki Sevven 19 hours ago
I hate to break it to you, but 64% of folks in the UK are either overweight or obese, so you're not that far behind the US.
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#67
BookFanatic 20 hours ago
I'm cattle-oging your comment as being pretty punny.
Load More Replies... #68
*without Tipping
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
Are my eyes going bad or is that 8 in "1980" upside down? 🤨 (Also: I need a squinting emoji)
Lily bloom 16 hours ago
Thats easily $20 now, right? Last time I went, to feed our family of 7, it was $67 for 4 "little" burgers, 2 hot dogs, and 2 orders of fries. I thought that was a lot 4-ish years ago.
David Paterson 1 day ago
Luxury in 1980 - being able to afford a ten year old second hand beat up car with rust and serious mechanical problems. Brakes fail completely without any warning. Steering goes in opposite direction to steering wheel. Engine blows up twice in a fortnight. Total luxury.
Andy Frobig 13 hours ago (edited)
Some of the most luxurious cars in the world were being made in 1935; many ocean liners and long distance flying boats then were more luxurious than anything we see today. There were people living then who only knew there was a depression because they read it in the papers
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#71
A $25 Dollar Pizza Gotta Taste Like The Best Pizza In The World
Pheebs 14 hours ago
Only time I’ve had a pizza approach that price was Mellow Mushroom. Tiny pizza (compared to other pizza places), base price was like $18 and then nearly every topping was $2/each. Only reason we ever got pizza from there is they were the inly pizza place within 20 miles that had vegan cheese (yay lactose intolerance). Definitely not worth the price, though their pizzas tasted okay. We make our own, with maybe $20 of ingredients for 2 15” pizzas.
Charles Kormos 15 hours ago
I have paid US$25 for a pizza and it was great. Recently, I have also paid US$10 for a pizza and it was great. Long time ago, 5 bucks, best ever.
Undercover 11 hours ago
I can get a pizza with countless toppings here in Italy for about 14 Euros! 😝
Undercover 11 hours ago
To clarify: my fav pizza has tomato sauce, mozzarella, 4cheese-sauce, asparagus, mushrooms, spinach, peperonata and spicy salami as toppings for 14.50
Load More Replies... TheWickedOne 19 hours ago
Dominos is not $35 here, lol... you can get one for $7... and it is still trash.
#72
And I Sleep Through The Weekends
Huddo's sister 1 day ago
I mean, I'm not expecting it, but it's what I tell my mum when she starts mentioning 'nice single' guys to me. If I meet someone, so be it, but I'm not looking.
Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
THREE friends? How much more choice do you need? Even with two of them married...? 😆
#73
Yes That Too, Jeremy 😭
#74
You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do
#75
You Can Do It, Girl!
Kristie Graves 18 hours ago
My guy would be yelling for me to come take care of it. Me: knitting it a sweater
Pheebs 14 hours ago
Lol. My hubs would be the first to call animal control. I would not pick up the snake as they are the one thing that comes close to a phobia for me. I’d just close that door and nope the hell out. Other creepies and crawlies - depends on whether it needs to be dead or removed. Dead, the hubs. Removed, me.
#76
Bayleaf Doing Bayleaf Things🍃
Nikki Sevven 19 hours ago
I can't get past the fact that she's cooking with her hair down and those ridiculous and unhygienic fingernails. Bleah.
#78
Unconventional Flirting
#79
Bro, Stfu
Roxy222uk 4 hours ago
Like the meme that goes around stating that so-and-so didn’t have any advantages, it was all just hard work, they started their business in their parents’ garage for goodness sake. Imagine being so blind to the fact that your parents a) had a garage and b) could spare the space for you to set up your business and c) being the type of parents that were prepared to do that is hugely lucky and not available to most people.
#80
#81
Sad State Of Affairs
#82
Peak Sibling Behaviour
#84
#85
The Only Billionaire Who Paid Their Tax
Richard Smith 22 hours ago
In the United States NOTHING is tax free. We'll even tax your taxes!
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Oskar vanZandt 15 hours ago (edited)
If I win a life-changing amounting in the lottery I won't be going public...
Oskar vanZandt 16 hours ago
Yes. You will be taxed on the interest the winnings generate...
Load More Replies... Nicole Weymann 1 day ago
I agree that losing two thirds of the winnings is a terrible quota, but since the remaining third is still nearly 500 MILLION dollars I'd say she'll survive the disappointment. I'd still like to know how exactly the fees and taxes got added up here, i.e. which companies and institutions will receive which cut.
Jack 22 hours ago
a bunch of that is just income tax. This is considered income.
Load More Replies... Untamed Snark 17 hours ago
Imagine surviving on 'only' 492 million. It would be difficult, but I'm sure I would be up to the challenge.
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joseph legatt 1 day ago
Just for comparison how much of Musk's billion dollar salary does he get to keep?
#86
Mom Pls ;_;
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 1 day ago
Among many other things, my father called me (bellowed at 5am) that I was a fkn fat lazy little bit.ch. This was on Easter sunday. I'd worked a 20-hr (5am Good Friday to 1am saturday) day as a kitchen hand at a highway roadhouse/servo (always frantically busy, especially on the Easter long weekend). I was a bit slow getting up to start work at 6am and unintentionally woke His Majesty. I was 14.
Mike F 21 hours ago
Play the long game, wait tilliit's time for a nursing home.
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Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
My mom once told me that I'm "absolutely useless for everyday / practical life" and I was like "Never before I've been so offended by something I 100% agree with" 😆
Andy Frobig 13 hours ago
"So you admit you're absolutely useless at raising a child?"
Load More Replies... Untamed Snark 17 hours ago
My nephew once told me I was the "best cook in the world, well, the country, well in this house, well for this meal, well, you're ok" Then he took my dessert. Cheeky little monster
Load More Replies... #87
Bro’s Not Coming Home 😭
Riaan van der Walt 1 day ago
That chicken ( I hope it is chicken) looks raw and dry at the same time. Great cooking skills to get to that level.
#88
My Plans For 2026
Howl's sleeping castle 22 hours ago
I used to do it. I had fake boyfriend, fake roommates, went on fake trips.
Jeff White 22 hours ago
I agree. It can be a challenge, constantly thinking new and more outrageous scenarios, but I think more effective than MYOFB.
#89
That’s A Classic
#90
Please 👍🏻
#91
Choting Is Unacceptable
#93
Classic Hr
Giraffe Sitter 20 hours ago
I once had a boss let us leave early the day before Thanksgiving in an ice storm but he expected us to work from home when we got there. Up yours, Mike.
Sue User 13 hours ago
I once had a company call me and say I didn't have to come in to work the next day. Good thing as the authorities had just declared driving on road illegal due to the blizzard that dumped 3 ft of snow.
Load More Replies... #94
Kathy Brooke 20 hours ago
Actually, studies show that during adolescence the diurnal rhythm goes haywire: teenagers would be much better suited to schooling that started and finished later in the day.
Angela C 12 hours ago
One of the districts near me just changed it that high school starts later
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JK 1 day ago
Because teenagers are usually up until 1am finishing a mountain of homework every day - when else are they meant to just exist and do fun stuff??
Sue User 13 hours ago
Thankfully my test scores were high enough that I didn't do half the homework but still got B'sand C's. Wasn't about chasing that GPA.
Load More Replies... #95
I Forgot My Work Password Last Christmas
Andy Frobig 13 hours ago
December 26: the day I drive home from my sister's house and celebrate not having to see her again until Thanksgiving
#96
Please Chill While I Rash Drive
Jaya 23 hours ago
It's insane to me that in some countries regular people are allowed to teach others how to drive. "Here's a 1000 kilo m****r missile, nah you don't need to learn from a professional, any random person will do"
Pheebs 14 hours ago
Could be like my brother who just made panicked noises and kept pressing the imaginary brake on his side (as we were going maybe 15mph on an empty road, near no cars). Or my mom who just kept yelling BRAKE! BRAKE! as we slowed to a gentle stop. I’m so glad my stepdad and dad taught me how to drive.
Sue User 13 hours ago
My dad would scream and grab the dash because he thought didn't see stop sign. So you had to keep up a commentary " I am approaching the intersection with a car on my right". He didn't drive.
Load More Replies... #97
driedgrapes 19 hours ago
Make sure one of you has good credit. It's why it's called sign-if-i-cant
#98
Venezuela’s President Got Bamboozled
#100
Elon Musk Threatens To Buy Ryanair 💀
highwaycrossingfrog 16 hours ago
What about Donna Air? Maybe she's not well known outside of England
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Auntriarch 18 hours ago
So, like a wasp landing on a nettle, someone is going to get stung, and you don't care who
Talis 19 hours ago
Well, Ryanair is bad anyway, so yeah, let Musk buy it, so that it looses worth instantly! (The part of X that formerly was Twitter is still worth less than when Musk bought it, only the AI part brings in the higher worth, but in combination it's still way lower than OpenAI).
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Neon_Pickles 1 day ago
Soooo what's with all the AI images? Are we serious? S****y stock images wasn't enough?
Chrissie Anit 22 hours ago
Miguel, Please stop adding all these AI images. We're here for the reads, not stupid AI images.
Roxy222uk 3 hours ago
We love the random stock images. Remember the mug we all wanted?
Load More Replies... Neon_Pickles 1 day ago
Soooo what's with all the AI images? Are we serious? S****y stock images wasn't enough?
Chrissie Anit 22 hours ago
Miguel, Please stop adding all these AI images. We're here for the reads, not stupid AI images.
Roxy222uk 3 hours ago
We love the random stock images. Remember the mug we all wanted?
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