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The dads of Twitter have some of the funniest stories and belly-aching jokes to share with us from their everyday family lives. So we here at Bored Panda thought it’d be the perfect way to brighten up your day. You’re bound to relate to a lot of these parenting posts if you’re raising any munchkins of your own at home. Don’t worry, you’re not alone!
Psst, after you’re done scrolling through this list and upvoting your fave dad tweets, check out our earlier posts about hilarious fatherhood tweets right here.
Bored Panda wanted to learn more about being a dad and the challenges that it presents, so we reached out to the Fatherhood Institute, the UK's fatherhood think-and-do-tank and one of the most respected fatherhood organizations on Earth. Dr. Jeremy Davies told us that what children need more than anything is your time. "And time can be hard to find, if you’re focused on earning money—which is part of what you need to do as a parent, but only part of it. So finding time when you’re out at work is the biggest challenge," he said. Read on for the rest of Dr. Davies' insights.
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According to Dr. Davies from the Fatherhood Institute, the trick for new dads is to find ways of organizing their lives so they get to do "a good chunk of the hands-on caring" early on. "If that’s tough because of the job you do, maybe there are ways you can tweak your working week to free up more time? If not, and that feels like a problem, maybe you need to think about a different career?" the expert mused.
He advised new dads to get "stuck in" and help out with the childcare. "Don’t hang back like she’s the boss," he said. "Men are biologically primed to look after children, just like women are, and practice makes perfect. If mum seems better at this stuff, it’s almost certainly because she does more of it. The more you do the better you get."
So if you want to get better at changing nappies, bathing your child, putting them to bed, singing to them, and reading bedtime stories, you have to carve out the time to do so. There are no shortcuts. "That’s how you’ll build the bond with your baby, and from that you’ll build a wonderful, lifelong relationship with him/her."
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Ruth Mayfly 5 years ago
Nope, parents can install themselves as voices in your head so you have to listen to them FOREVER. Checkmate, toddler.
Fatherhood is absolutely a blessing. But there’s no easy way to say this—your life will change. For the better, of course. But there will be plenty of new challenges. Financial, for starters. However, something as simple as getting enough sleep or alone time with your partner might just quickly become your number one priority. That’s why you’ve got to learn to use every moment that your children are asleep or out of the house. Life doesn’t have to stop when you’re a dad; but you’ll have to adapt.
Even though we like to think of our dads as superheroes who can do anything, they’re as human as anyone else. And fatherhood isn’t done in isolation: you have to know how to work as a team.
Coming up with a system where dads share the responsibilities of caring for their kids with their partners by taking turns means everyone can get some much-deserved rest. And once you've made childcare a part of your daily routine, it's way easier on you because it's now a habit.
Dads also have to learn to reach out and ask for help when they’re struggling. Ask your family members, your grandparents, your friends, and coworkers to babysit once in a while so you can recharge if you have to.
Parenting’s a marathon, not a sprint. And, even though we might feel alone and utterly knackered sometimes, it really does take a whole village to raise a child, so we need to learn to be humble and ask for support.
Once you’re recharged and amped up about parenting after some R&R, you can go back to being the best dad that you can be. Playing with Legos? Check. Reading bedtime stories that you’re enjoying as much (if not more) than your kid? Check. Monkeying about on the monkey bars in the playground? Check. Fighting the monster hiding under your kid’s bed? Check!
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Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago (edited)
Haha, love the dad joke but that aside, burial pods sound like a great idea.
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Some Cool Guy 5 years ago
Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy taught me that space is big. Like really really big.
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Potato patato 5 years ago
But the thing with that is that people who hate kids, and wouldn't help teach at all would decide to be a teacher to get that big pay check.
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Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
I have a video of my daughter going through my underwear drawer and putting on about 20 or so pairs all over herself including around her neck like a necklace and on her head lol.
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Aleksandra Elias 5 years ago
I thought the second part starts when you can leave your children alone at home without worrying about them dying
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Katherine Boag 5 years ago
Eh sometimes it isnt so much growing up as developing undiagnosed mental illnesses, ask me how i know
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Calum Sanderson 5 years ago
Well just get into the time machine in every classroom and make it the old days
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Katherine Boag 5 years ago
What age is this most effective on? I dont remember my parents doing this with us
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Katherine Boag 5 years ago
I mean, you *can* do whatever you want once you're an adult, but you also get to deal with the consequences.
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Colin Allcars 5 years ago
Oompa Loompa do-be-de-do, you should listen to what your dad tells you.
#50
Julius Martin 5 years ago
this happened to me when my cousins came over two weeks ago, but it was in german
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Ty Stratton-Quirk 5 years ago
Me: says nothing while playing back recording of conversation from twenty minutes ago.
#55
Steven Essex 5 years ago
The phrase, "Be good to your kids; they choose your nursing home." comes to mind.
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Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
Me to my kids, after they hide their backpack as a prank. Guess who started with pranks first.?
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Lilly Rose Poppy 5 years ago
Their teacher needs to rethink all life choices cause that is just wrong
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Davor Jelacic 5 years ago
Alexa doing something that's actually useful? Don't stop being a dreamer...
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Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
Child: *hugs parent*. Parent: what have you broken, what have you lost, what do you want me to do, and no, we can't have chocolate cake for lunch.
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Isabel Care 5 years ago
This is why I see solo parents in pajamas and robe at ASDA at 2am. Stealth shopping
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Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
In 2020 the kid is right. "Not true! It's... May? August? April? ... I'm sure..."
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Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
Maybe she was saying 'whine whine whine', because that's what she was doing? Idk anymore
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Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
She's a cockapoo. I'm twelve, but I have a sister. Who likes paw patrol. And making my life a misery. She's cute tho, I'll give her that.
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Isabel Care 5 years ago
Even works when the "child" is furry. My dog trapped my brother in his seat in a hire van. However well I wrapped her in her blanket, she still managed to have the release right up her bum when it came time to leave the vehicle
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Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
I think I should do this to stop both of them from coming to my bed in the middle of the night.
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Luisa Vasconcelos 5 years ago
She's ready for life. She not gonna have problems finding excuses for work or not meeting friends.
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Pansexual-Pancake 5 years ago
I can drive better than that with a dually truck in a forest and I'm eleven(just don't rely on soft stops :))
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Bardhi's Dad 5 years ago
It's good to start with testing as early as possible. Later you may go out of control
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Isabel Care 5 years ago
Parents used to take us to Stonehenge, Old Sarum (iron age? fort) and similar places. They could set up a picnic in the middle and let us run round and round , hoping we would get tired. No picnicking on the stones now, or parking inside the fort. They only had to watch us if one or more of us stopped making noise
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Isabel Care 5 years ago
But why always 3 times in a row and into the sink (over the clean washing up)?
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Blinding_Darkness 5 years ago
I got told that my pictures were good when I was little. While they were being put in the recycling bin. Hey, at least my parents recycle. They're good tho, not mean.
#130
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
As long as she hasn't mastered the art of delayed procrastination you have nothing to fear.
#132
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago (edited)
Wish that was the case for my kids, well my son now as my daughter has calmed down a bit since becoming a teen. My son is on the go from as soon as he wakes up until he zonks out at bed, doesn’t matter what he eats. Even his therapists and my mum have mentioned that he just does not stop. I wish I had some of his energy.
#139
Binxyminxem 5 years ago
I read that to the tune of Frozen's "do you wanna build a snowmaaaan?" 😄
#142
Isabel Care 5 years ago (edited)
We had imaginary pets. I even took mine to school so I didn't have to play with the other kids. Did get myself a pet rock that has been a faithful door stop for 35 years.
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What do you think ?
Mike Crow 5 years ago
While my wife and I were driving my youngest to kindergarten I saw a police car and jokingly said “oh no the police is after mommy!” My son then replied “really? Quick mommy, hide!” Didn’t even question the fact his mom was wanted by the cops.
Ceredwyn Ealanta 5 years ago
Not only that, but was straight up willin' to hide the crim!
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Calum Sanderson 5 years ago
why are these all from, like, the same five guys? you know there's more dads in the world right
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
Because some people coincidentally have the most hilarious children that definitely did and said these real thing and these dads can spend all day tweeting about the funny things and coincidentally get paid for it.
Load More Replies...
Mike Crow 5 years ago
While my wife and I were driving my youngest to kindergarten I saw a police car and jokingly said “oh no the police is after mommy!” My son then replied “really? Quick mommy, hide!” Didn’t even question the fact his mom was wanted by the cops.
Ceredwyn Ealanta 5 years ago
Not only that, but was straight up willin' to hide the crim!
Load More Replies... Calum Sanderson 5 years ago
why are these all from, like, the same five guys? you know there's more dads in the world right
Banjo Peppers 5 years ago
Because some people coincidentally have the most hilarious children that definitely did and said these real thing and these dads can spend all day tweeting about the funny things and coincidentally get paid for it.
Load More Replies... You May Like 30 Funny Memes That Perfectly Capture The Chaos Of Being A Dad And A Dedicated Gamer Knock-Knock Yourself Out With These Hilarious, Punny Jokes 50 Times Parents Sent The Most Unhinged Text Messages To Their Kids
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