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Welcome to romance in the 21st century, where dating apps give us endless profiles to swipe through, yet half the time we don’t even get a reply. There are catfish in the sea, lovebombers on the loose, ghosters vanishing mid-chat, and even the occasional date who disappears before paying the bill.
Still, if there’s one upside to modern dating chaos, it’s the comedy gold it produces. The Instagram account Texts With Benefits captures it all, sharing some of the funniest and most painfully relatable posts about love, dating, and everything in between.
Scroll down to see them and upvote the ones that made you laugh (or cringe) the hardest!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
RELATED:
#2
Lotekguy 2 months ago
Where the 11th commandment is "thou shalt not put mayonnaise on corned beef".
Day Andie 2 months ago
"Apostrophes used in a non-standard manner to form noun plurals are known as greengrocers' apostrophes or grocers' apostrophes or grocer's apostrophes." But surely they should be called grocer's apostrophe's?
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Cougar Allen 2 months ago
I've never heard that expression before, and I can't find it with a search, not even at Urban Dictionary. Must be regional....
Harlsen Chesterton 2 months ago
You can't find it because it's completely made up.
Load More Replies...Be real, are we laughing with the people behind these posts, or crying because it’s all too relatable and modern dating is more of a mess than we hoped for?
Sometimes it feels like finding the one requires a full-on quest we never signed up for, with no map and no idea when it ends. Still, that faint hope for a light at the end of the tunnel keeps us swiping, chatting, and trying again.
#3
Billo66 2 months ago
I made porridge earlier and forgot about it. Would anyone else like a slice?
Min 2 months ago (edited)
Psychopath (but I still counter-acted one of your downvotes because it's not your fault you're insane)
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Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Right? It depends on *how* much cereal is in the bowl to determine the correct amount of milk!
Nikole 2 months ago
See, I think it depends on how much milk is in the bowl to determine the correct cereal ratio…
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KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
I microwave shredded wheat and cornflakes. It's easier to put cereal in first so you know how milk is needed rather than trying to guess how much cereal and having too little or too much milk after.
Hugo 2 months ago
Yes, but plain yoghurt, preferably low-fat or fat-free. I hope it's a live culture.
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Harlsen Chesterton 2 months ago
This is the sad story of a woman that let a series of good-looking guys use her and has realized that although she's having s*x with good-looking guys (always at their convenience) she doesn't actually enjoy it. But she can't quite let go of the idea that some good-looking guys want to have s*x with her and therefore she must be attractive.
Amanda Reinstatler 1 week ago
Listen up ladies - he is NOT treating you like garbage because he is out of your league - its because HE thinks you are out of his.
Ace 2 months ago (edited)
They read (past tense) the message, which action can be seen by the sender, but do not send a reply.
Load More Replies...Quite often, though, the biggest problem with dating today is exactly that, the illusion of endless options. We’re told there are millions of potential matches out there, but how many of them are actually right for us?
Sure, technology has made it easier than ever to meet people. A simple swipe right can lead to a match or at least a funny story to tell later. But just because there are plenty of profiles doesn’t mean there are plenty of connections.
#5
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
100% of men I've ever met / interacted with who use "female" as a noun were a human equivalent of stepping on a Lego in a wet sock. There's even a whole subreddit that mocks these losers (r/MenAndFemales)
Mel 2 months ago
This was the first thing that popped up in my mind and I'm beyond excited that someone else shared the thought!
Load More Replies... darren_lapointe 2 months ago
Red flags are just that, flags not promises. A person using females almost always is a sign that at the very least they are online in some not great spaces but it’s when you start adding in the other flags that you get a full picture.
Sue User 2 months ago
I have used females when I want to covey that the person could be eight or eighty.
#7
“With the advent of online dating where the norm is to look at virtual swipes on mobile apps, people have become reduced to profiles pages and photos on a screen,” clinical psychologist Mehezabin Dordi told Harper’s Bazaar India. “It’s almost as though people are partner shopping—much like for products on e-commerce sites.”
#8
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 months ago
Well, I'm pretty much not in the picture then. My last dog died 5 years ago after living to the ripe age of 11 and I have only been partially feeding the neighborhood alley cats ever since.
joann fielding 2 months ago
Well, you sound kind, at least. That's something.
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veirdbuttrue 2 months ago
Because this is a good way to observe how someone nurtures and cares for a vulnerable, dependent being.
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Upstaged75 2 months ago
But WHY do we do this? Can someone explain it? I'm only mildly stupid!
OlmsteadKat 2 months ago
I do it because night time is quiet time with nobody bothering me. I don't want to miss any of it. 🤣
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
Revenge bedtime procrastination. Because you’re never going to live long enough to do all the scrolling you want to do.
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago (edited)
Did my insomniac a*s decide I would have a nap at 4pm yesterday and catch up on all the week's sleep before waking up at 01:46 this morning? Yes. Did I finish the wine and watch netflix until 4 am so I am stupid tired at work today - OF COURSE!
#10
Chich the witch 2 months ago
Only have one side, maybe the date or both of them dodged a bullet.
Load More Replies... Dustinthewind 2 months ago
If you've been screaming like this the whole date I don't blame him.
White Sauce Hot Sauce 2 months ago
I wonder if there's a reason he resorted to something so drastic in order to get away from OP.
This approach has turned dating into something overly focused on appearances and instant gratification, leaving little room for depth or authenticity. Dating apps make it easy to fall into the same trap: the paradox of choice.
“Too much choice causes the feeling of less happiness and less satisfaction with the constant search for what’s better out there,” Dordi explained. “The paradox of choice creates a real sense of anxiety for people looking to find a long-term partner.”
#11
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
IMO it's always better to be alone than to be with a disappointing man, and I say it as a man. Y'all queens deserve only the best.
Sarah 2 months ago
Men deserve the best too. Everyone's best is different...... see I got it all worked out. That's why I'm single lol
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#12
#13
Cougar Allen 2 months ago (edited)
First you have to get a shötgun that can turn motorcycles to instant fireballs. (Search YouTube for "every which way but loose porch scene")
But that doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Modern dating may feel chaotic, but it’s something we can navigate more mindfully. Therapist and life coach Tess Brigham says one of the best ways to do that is to decide what you actually want before diving in.
Most people, she says, don’t even know how to answer the question “What kind of relationship do you want?” because they’ve been conditioned to accept whatever shows up on the screen.
#15
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
People out there hitting two dates in one night, meanwhile me not being able to score one in 30 years 😅
Michael Largey 2 months ago
Me neither. Probably has something to do with the fact that I've been married for 38.
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If he says things like that, then, yes—start looking for other people to date.
#16
Brigham suggests making your own “ideal partner” list. Not one built on what society tells you to want, but one that’s genuinely yours. Include everything, from values and lifestyle goals to small preferences.
Then, highlight your non-negotiables. What are your true deal breakers? What kind of behavior are you unwilling to overlook? Knowing these things upfront saves a lot of time, heartbreak, and confusion.
#18
Mel in Georgia 2 months ago
Did everyone in the US enjoy their extra hour this morning? I did!
Upstaged75 2 months ago (edited)
Indeed. But I'm going to be whining about it in coming weeks when it's completely dark by 5pm.
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#19
Billo66 2 months ago (edited)
Hugo, you're slipping buddy. verb past tense: proceeded; past participle: proceeded begin or continue a course of action. "we can proceed with our investigation" If you're going to correct folks, at least give them the correct answer. Resistance is futile. You must concede.
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And when you start meeting people, online or off, those boundaries become your compass. If someone tells you they “don’t do relationships,” believe them. If they’re inconsistent, distant, or make you feel small, walk away.
The truth is, no one who’s genuinely into you will make you question it. As Brigham notes, people show you who they are through their actions, not their words.
#20
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
I see so many red flags, it looks to me like you’re at a bullfight.
Brain-In-A-Vat 2 months ago
It's redder than the Worker's Flag , and the Worker's Flag is Deepest Red . . .
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
He's not wrong in that I would love fried chicken more than him though.
#21
#22
Ugh, do I have to? 2 months ago
"My boyfriend's family won't let us date!" "Well who are they to stop you?" 'His wife and kids."
On the other hand, pay attention to the ones who follow through and make you feel valued. Those are the green flags we often overlook while chasing excitement or trying to “fix” people.
Dating doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful. Sometimes, consistency and calm are what real compatibility looks like.
#23
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
This weekend I discovered that the pack of 6 mini oven bries can be eaten in an hour... I've ordered two boxes now, just in case.
Nikole 2 months ago
Mini… oven… bries… ?? Let me know when they’re delivered and I’ll pop on over.
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#25
Nicole Levesque 2 months ago
Put your phone to your ear and have a very lovey dovey conversation with 'someone', calling them baby or sweetheart.
As you wade through the dating world, hold on to your standards and remember, being single isn’t a failure, it’s simply part of the journey toward finding someone who truly fits. Don’t compromise on the things that would make you unhappy just to make something work.
At the end of the day, dating isn’t about finding someone perfect; it’s about finding someone right. So swipe with intention, laugh off the fails, learn from the chaos—and above all, don’t lose yourself in the process.
#26
Bell-icose 2 months ago
What delightful sarcasm. You’d have to be a fool not to find that funny.
#27
Don Adams 2 months ago
I figure the goes limp quickly is one of the non-plusses in the relationship.
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#29
Day Andie 2 months ago
Or a good person might use the excuse, "Excuse me, I have an appointment at the pound to look at a dog that could miss me."
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Mark Alexander 2 months ago
This dating thing sounds kinda scary. Glad I'm married.
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#31
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
In my case, a 6'2" bloke picked 5'4" me up and stood me on a park bench so he could kiss me. Same guy also thought I just wanted a s**g. He was wrong. He then messaged someone else I knew who did hook up with him and then got ghosted same day. Anyway TL/DR because I get whiplash.
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#36
Pittsburgh rare 2 months ago (edited)
Lol, I had the opposite happen to me TWICE. Two dudes who had ignored me after a date a couple years ago messaged me on Hinge because they didn't remember me. Ignored them back 🤷🏻♀️
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#41
WindySwede 2 months ago
Commas are a good thing, had to reread three times. And wondered why Sarah wore white pants just because the ex also did? Did they know each others and coordinated their pants colours? Also wṭf!!
Katharina Sei. 2 months ago
Probably because you can see her underwear beneath white pants. (If it is thin fabric.)
#42
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#48
TheWickedOne 2 months ago
1) Who cares, you ghosted him. 2) How tf do all these people remember all these other people they come across on these apps?... jfc
#49
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#53
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What do you think ?
Hugo 2 months ago
Altogether weird. Another thing: please everyone click on the three dots and report kristinmurphy and others who post such spam.
KatWitch57 2 months ago
We are, believe me we are, but it doesn't appear to do much good.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 months ago
Is a site where people take unadvisable romantic risks called "bumble" for a reason?
highwaycrossingfrog 1 month ago
It's actually because it's women-focused (women initiate the conversations), like a hive of bees are focused on the queen bee
Load More Replies... Sarah 2 months ago
I got peeved.. spent hrs getting ready, hair styling/ face nask, a French Connection dress and high heels. He turns up s****d in a hoodie and wide baggy jeans which were frayed and filthy at the ends from being dragged along the ground. Nice bloke.. we had a few dates and then he ghosted me. Prob for the best . Coudknt see him ever not smoking weed despite being 40
Andrew Read 2 months ago
To be honest, the grammar most of these people use is a disgrace. Did they actually go to school? They are also mostly extremely superficial and as self centred as a gyroscope. If I were younger and in the market, I would move on from most of them.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If I become single again, I think I’ll just stay single.
Hugo 2 months ago
Altogether weird. Another thing: please everyone click on the three dots and report kristinmurphy and others who post such spam.
KatWitch57 2 months ago
We are, believe me we are, but it doesn't appear to do much good.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 months ago
Is a site where people take unadvisable romantic risks called "bumble" for a reason?
highwaycrossingfrog 1 month ago
It's actually because it's women-focused (women initiate the conversations), like a hive of bees are focused on the queen bee
Load More Replies... Sarah 2 months ago
I got peeved.. spent hrs getting ready, hair styling/ face nask, a French Connection dress and high heels. He turns up s****d in a hoodie and wide baggy jeans which were frayed and filthy at the ends from being dragged along the ground. Nice bloke.. we had a few dates and then he ghosted me. Prob for the best . Coudknt see him ever not smoking weed despite being 40
Andrew Read 2 months ago
To be honest, the grammar most of these people use is a disgrace. Did they actually go to school? They are also mostly extremely superficial and as self centred as a gyroscope. If I were younger and in the market, I would move on from most of them.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 2 months ago
If I become single again, I think I’ll just stay single.
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