I got my wisdom teeth out last month and was curiously subdued, my wife informed me, at least at the office. She loaded me up in the car and away we went.

About halfway home, she called my mother to let her know that the surgery went well and I remained stonily quiet. After she got off the phone, I demanded that my wife call my mother back. When she did so I told her:

"Mom. You have lots of dogs. And they need lots of love." Then I made the 'cut the call' motion to my wife.

When we arrived home, I was brought up short by my wife's pillow case, which has a sloth on it. I asked out loud "Honey, there's a f****n' Sloth in here. How did we catch one? They're so fast!"

Then she tried to take my jeans off of me so I could go to sleep and I yelled "Whoa there missy!" when she grabbed for the fly.

All in all, a pretty great morning.