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What does it mean to be a "real" man? Well, masculinity is one of those topics everyone has an opinion on, as gender norms remain a delicate subject that tends to spark heated debates online. And even though public attitudes are becoming more accepting in many ways, stereotypical patterns of masculine behavior are still deeply rooted in our society — according to the age-old cliché of the masculine guy, men are expected to be strong, brave, and dominant.

But in reality, when people are telling everyone that a macho man doesn't cry, takes risks, makes money, fears nothing, and — heaven forbid! — never shows any signs of emotional vulnerability, it can spark some pretty warped ideas about manhood.

Thanks to one illuminating corner of Twitter called 'Hot Masculinity Takes,' we get to see a galore of absurd cases when this happens online. "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," says the account’s description, and you already know it’s gonna be a wild ride. So continue scrolling to check out the absolutely ridiculous opinions about men on the Internet, and don’t miss the chat we had about masculinity with licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Jesse Matthews right below.

Psst! After you’re done with this list, more madness awaits in Part 1 of this feature right here.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wanna punch the idiot who wrote this put down. And I’m an oh-so-estrogenic woman. My crushing lack of testosterone must be making me so irrational to say something like this. Isn’t it?🙄😤😡 Who is this misogynistic weirdo, to think he can be rude to the ladies and gentlemen like that? Bet he’s an insecure neckbeard.

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It’s hard to avoid encountering the term toxic masculinity these days. But as the person behind the account, who preferred to stay anonymous, told my colleague Rokas in a previous interview, this social media project is not purely about that. The philosophy of the page is to post the takes and let people make their own conclusions. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too," the creator added.

A brief scroll through the list proves that harmful stereotypes about what it means to be a man are abundant in today’s society. But what exactly urges people to share their absurd statements without any second thought? And how can these ideas affect men seeking out their masculine identity?

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To gain more insight on the topic from an expert, we reached out to Dr. Jesse Matthews, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA. According to him, ideas about masculinity have become quite polarized in our society.

"As masculinity has moved away from the 'manly man' or 'tough guy' definitions, many people have not only clung to these stereotypes, but they have made them more extreme," Dr. Matthews told Bored Panda. This usually stems from people rejecting the changing views, and "social media in particular creates echo chambers for this, with various influencers carrying the flags for those who identify with their views."

While we all bear different perspectives on the world around us, masculinity especially can be a very deep rabbit hole with a variety of different viewpoints. But Dr. Matthews raised an important question: why do these ideas matter so much to people?

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"Obviously, it’s part of life for any guy or anyone who identifies with masculinity, but the obsession with being a 'real man' is more based in insecurity. The person essentially needs to ensure that they present a masculine enough identity to avoid judgment or being called out as not masculine by other guys," the psychologist explained.

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Men who are insecure about their manliness exhibit behavior that is often exaggerated and even caricature-like. But Dr. Matthews says there’s also irony at play here. "Many of these individuals would tell you that being a real man means just doing your thing and not caring about what anyone thinks about it. However, one can’t simultaneously obsess over portraying an ultramasculine image, yet claim to be unconcerned about judgment. It just doesn’t compute."

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Hypermasculinity — or toxic masculinity as it’s usually called — is also based on the false belief that masculinity needs to be saved, Dr. Matthews argued. "In the same way that some people seem to be afraid that racism or homophobia might one day die out. So they embrace stereotypes, or how they think things 'should' be or were in 'the good old days.'"

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, so a man drinking a fruity drink sounds like a great way to filter out super shallow people. Drink up men, the fruity drinks are the best.

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But putting men (half of the world’s population!) in a box can seriously harm their well-being. "It’s limiting at best, and at worst it leads people to play into these stereotypes." For example, hypermasculinity often makes people act in ways "that are sexist or homophobic, or at least not challenging others on this kind of behavior."

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"It also has the power to create toxic environments, uncomfortable for women or men viewed as not masculine, and of course to lead to situations involving sexual assault," Dr. Matthews continued. "As well, if these men carry on these thoughts and behaviors through adulthood, they may pass them down to their children or other young people they come into contact with, like kids they are teaching, coaching, and so on."

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), instilling elements of traditional masculinity into men and boys can be psychologically harmful, as it has been shown to limit their development, constrain their behavior, and result in gender role conflict. What’s more, it can negatively influence their mental and physical health.

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Raccoon panda
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This screams red flag all over. Anyone under that height is usually underage (with the exception of naturally petite women).

Kise Miarse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 5' 3" and this is the first time I've ever been accused of being tall. 😂

Milly Lucy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a 6'1" female. Apparently I am having gay sex with my boyfriend for years and didn't even know it. Crazy s**t...

WoodenLion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am confused. me - 5'10 man had very much sex with my 6' wife. does that make us something with a name? just wondering - confused ya' know

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Puck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, no sex in the Netherlands then.... (5,'6" is average....) and don't even try the Scandinavian countries.

Jeff Gabrisl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Said some guy who is 5'8! I'm 6'3", and if I could ever meet a girl as tall as me I would have googly eyes! Gwendolyn Christie is my celebrity crush, she is tall and beautiful, and a fantastic actress. Even in GOT, where the made her look as bad as they could, she was still absolutely beautiful!

Ru Bee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's fantastic. My sister is 6 foot I'm 5.8 and jealous but she wishes she was shorter. We always want what we can't have I guess. We'd both love for example to have heterosexual sex one day but I guess we'll just have to make do with gay sex....I should probably let my husband know he's gay too.

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Joshua Moore
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, I've been gay all these years??? I had no idea!!! I mean sure, there that was that one time in college, but he told me he loved me.......twice.

Cara G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably the loudest broadcast of short guy insecurity I've ever seen.

K- THULU
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, WTF? I mean, really? What short a*s man thought that up?

DaVo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm Dutch. Average height for females here is 5'7"...

Hugh Cookson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two of my 4 wives have been under 5ft ... I'm pretty sure I'm not batting for the other side. As an explanation, my relationship breakdowns were all due to work related issues as I was a Chef / Chef manager and worked nutty hours with bucketloads of stress !!

Amy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Damn, I gotta tell my husband he's had gay sex.

Potato Panda
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a underage female and 5 foot 4... welp I'm a guy now

Moezzzz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 5'8". No idea I've been sleeping with gay men all these years. My husband is 5'7", so I need to go break the news to him now

Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow, at 5'10", i've been having far too much gay sex with straight men...who knew?

Christoph
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any sex for this person counts as a miracle. Also he is 5'3' and a half.

Solidhog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you are short and have an issue with it without saying it.

Luna Crow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who wants to bet the person who wrote this is a really short guy with size issues?

Keley Babs
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you're an insecure short man without telling me you're an insecure short man.

Alya
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if a woman has sex with a man who is under 5'2" ?

Kitty Jordan
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The good news is that, as a 5'8" woman, my height really filters out a lot of these jokers who think women should only be under 5'2" and less than 100 lbs.

Queen Boudicca
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been 5'11" since I was 10 years old. Is he asking me to dot my legs off from the knees down?

Mario Strada
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course! That's why I never went out without a tape measurer when I dated. "Nice meeting you... Do you mind? *Unrolls Tape* Sorry, you are 5'3" and must have a penis.

T MB83
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 5'11, I better contact all my ex's and let them know they're gay.

T.M.P Janssen
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I looked up some numbers. They are different around the globe for sure , but in the west (in this case USA), the average girls HEIGHT around 5'2" is 13 years old. For f***s sake people.

Tiffi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His hard drive needs ro be seized and searched immediately.

Alexandra Comeau
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I havent seen anyone translate what this means so for everyone outside USA, its 157,48cm

Anna Stephenson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Soooooooo, I wonder what their stance on sex with a GUY under 5'2" is!?

Doctor Strange
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any man who can't handle dating a woman who is taller than 5'2" is pathetic. For six years I dated a girl who was 6'0", and she was beautiful and wonderful, but hated how she looked because of people like this. It broke my heart every time she said she wasn't attractive.

Celia McReynolds Tinsley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's more like the idiot who said this isn't capable of pleasing an actual woman, a woman's height doesn't play into his inadequacies.

Sandy D
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd love to let him experience getting púlverizęd by this 5'7" old woman. Hopefully all woman will continue to not allow him anywhere near them

Ancsuri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am 5'5. So, I am a man now. If I grow a bit,could I be considered as an alpha Malév too,even if I am a woman?

Jan Olsen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok - I was apparantly in a gay marriage.....my wife and I was the exact same heigth

Gogubaci
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to have a girlfriend that was 6' tall. I guess I'm gay.

fisHeads
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is having sex with a teenager instead of an adult or slab of rubber with two holes gay? Find out on the next episode of " Who TF Cares?"

Zedrapazia
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh boy, I have just become a very manly man because I'm a lot taller than that

DJBenne
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me hooking up with short dudes makes me straight then. Dammit.

Alexandra Nara
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lucky me just passed the height to have intercourse with such moron

Sturgeon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't know what my wife will say when I tell her I have discovered I'm gay!

Strings
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't worry, Raccoon: I'm sure the father of the guy who wrote that post always told his son this (holds up thumb and forefinger) was 6 inches

B B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ewww my 4'11 self don't want your ugly personalited self.

Jennifer Millner
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 6 ft and thought I was female. I guess that explains my love of action movies and video games

Lisa H
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 5'7", and a straight woman. So that makes me gay? I'm confused, but I don't really want to hear the "logic" behind this. It would make me sad.

khaalidah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell me you're bitter about being short without tell me you're bitter about being short. Height shouldn't matter either way.

Sarah Murphy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any man scared of a woman over 5’2” is weak and should not be allowed to reproduce. It weakens humanity.

Bobby
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Says the person with a pfp of an anime character that is supposed to be 14.... hmmm

Karin Morris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT?? Has this guy looked at any models lately? All 5' 10" or taller. I think this guy just has a bit of small man syndrome

Mr.Kris
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone REALLY needs to better inform this guy about sex.

LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha, omg.. I need to tell all my past lovers that they are gay - I'm a 5ft11 woman 😅

Kristie French
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guarantee this “man” is 5’5” with serious short man syndrome. Haha

Kathy L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Since I'm a woman who is 5'2", I'm so glad I made the cut. /s

Snorkeldorf
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow. I have never heard this from a guy, ever. Great excuse for this one when he never has a girlfriend, or sex, or even a date for that matter.

Phil Green
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, does it mean that male-male sex, where one is below 5' 2", counts as "straight"? I would love to meet, in person, a lot of the idiots that wrote these original posts. They all strike me as a bit "Nick Adams", frail, in their own masculinity, or actually in denial!

Settled for Infamy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell us you have mega, crippling issues about your height without telling us

DKS 001
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sooooooo ....... anyone that doesn't look girl-age then. Yeah .... red flags everywhere

James016
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this incel needs to see a medical professional, and to be kept away from children

El MasChingon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

tell everyone you are a short man without saying you are short man

VM37
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First had to Google how much is thet in metric. It's 1,60 m. Naow, I am 1,73 m and by his defenition, my husband has manage to produce 3 children by the means of gay sex.

Ru Bee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will bet my house that this dude is 5'6 and HATES it!

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And men wonder why we women have a tendency to come off as cold, closed-off, and wary with men we dont know. Obviously, even the men we DO think we know can be a danger to us.

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For men who try to seek out their identity and find a healthy relationship with their inner guy, these societal pressures and expectations can be especially burdensome. "It can be hard for people to stand out or to be seen as going against those around them. For example, a male raised in a family or in a community with traditional masculine stereotypes may find it hard to explore or adopt a less stereotyped identity," Dr. Matthews said, adding the person is likely to be criticized, punished, or excluded for it.

Unfortunately, most people who are raised in stereotyped environments tend to internalize those behavior patterns. Psychologist Matthews explained this happens because they don’t know anything else and it feels right to them, or they feel pressure to fit in.

"This can mean demonstrating extreme or toxic masculinity, as not only could one fit in that way, but he could be praised or more highly valued in the group for it." And, alarmingly, "in places like prisons where this applies, it could actually help you to survive."

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only the most insecure men use words like alpha and beta males. Do they not realize how it makes them sound?

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Extreme views like the painfully ridiculous ones featured on 'Hot Masculinity Takes' are rarely a positive thing. But as the modern world now teaches us, the subject matter is much less black-and-white.

"Masculinity is not simply the opposite of femininity, just as it is not synonymous with heterosexuality," Dr. Matthews noted. "Many people today see being masculine as being calm and controlled vs angry and reactive, being a good problem solver rather than one who relies on brute force to solve everything, or standing up for other people or what’s right vs trying to control or overpower others."

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What people see as healthy masculinity may differ, but generally, we can all foster it by not judging other people. "This means not being worried about what other men are doing and giving people the space to be themselves," Dr. Matthews added. "We can all do what we want to do and believe what we want to believe. Masculinity isn’t going anywhere, so people don’t need to try to be the protectors of it or to act in stereotyped ways to let people know they exist."

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mmm, yes, let's never stop living with perpetual brutality, chaos, and death.

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Emanual Henry
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

High blood pressure, obesity, high blood sugar, malnutrition, but I can't think of any real reasons.

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Many men in Dr. Matthews’s practice have never gone to therapy before, and some wouldn't even be expected to be found in a psychologist’s office at first glance. But they are sure glad they did. "This idea of what it really means to be a man and the positive and negative ways in which they have lived this is a frequent topic of conversation."

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"I would encourage anyone concerned with issues of identity, including ideas about masculinity, to start reflecting on it in some kind of organized way. Don’t just watch videos by your favorite IG or Tik Tok influencers, but start journaling, reading books, or going and seeing a therapist. It really can change your life," Dr. Matthews concluded.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Picturing this guy putting together flat-pack furniture without instructions ('cause those are for girls) and when his shelf turns into a table, he just throws it through the wall. Because bro

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

BREAKING NEWS: WORK COLLEAGUES OFTEN ENGAGE AS FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER. MORE ON THIS AT 11.

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Amber.exe (She/They)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say you're insecure about your masculinity without saying you're insecure about your masculinity

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

James Butler is a septic tank guy on TikTok and YouTube who has a 'manly' job, but also decent general advice about being a boss of a company. It's not all dancing and "challenges" on TikTok.

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Helena
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else think that the whole alpha, beta, sigma whatever is just dude bro astrology?

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hot_noodle_soup
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is a man. He says men are child molestors. I don’t like where this is going.

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setsuriseikou
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Chechnya? As in the Chechen Republic, one of Russian republics? One of the most dangerous places in Russia for LGBTQ+ people? Seriously?

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hot_noodle_soup
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do think you have to be powerful to have worth? Could it be, idk, the patriarchy?

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yoshi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God, I wish people would seriously take five minutes out of their day to even learn what GMOs ARE.

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Gustav Gallifrey
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let me do the experiment. (Crosses legs. Uncrosses legs. Checks inside pants. Yep, balls still there.) You don't really understand male anatomy, do you, dear?

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or more likely to develop prostate cancer later in life; but you do you bruh 😑

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably the most offensive, inaccurate thread of opinions I have ever seen in my life. Underneath the endless, unbridled rage, I'm kind of impressed by their complete lack of recognition for their privilege.

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James016
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

American Football players wear padding. Those wusses should try rugby. 😛

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Lakota Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. REAL men don't have disabilities, congenital illnesses or defects, or prior conditions or accidents that could make them vulnerable to Covid if they're under 65!!! Obviously!!! (/s in case it wasn't clear XD )

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Jen Hart
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My "father" was toxic like that, and I was delighted to take my husband's name to help distance from it. It's not always 'weak' or 'submissive' reasons a woman will take a husband's name.

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Kelli Pike
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my experience, if you give a man a smartphone, he will find funny tiktoks to show you, a handful of fun games, and so much porn.

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#63

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Geetha s
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I cannot wait for all these Alpha Male to become extinct and for Mentally healthy stable men and women to rule the world.

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#66

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Missy Missy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What makes him think he's even worthy? Men that won't date single mums are terrified of being seen as weak and useless because single mums are independent and strong.

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#67

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too indesicive to choose name
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No man deserves that? No man deserves that?!! So all men are just s**t, and must be punished by having to be a breadwinner?

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#72

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Lakota Wolf
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah!! REAL men don't need to bond with their newborn babies or help care for them directly in ANY way!!! /s

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