There’s nothing better than thinking of the perfect, most brilliant comeback for someone else’s snarky remark. But there’s nothing worse than coming up with it 30 seconds too late. We’ve all been there: as you’re driving home, you suddenly think of a clever reply. But it’s too late, and now that interaction will haunt you for years...
Luckily, on the internet, we have a bit more time to craft the best responses. Here’s a list of screenshots from the Clever Comebacks subreddit that might inspire you to use your wits more often. Enjoy scrolling through these pics, and be sure to upvote the ones that would make your 12-year-old self say, “Ooh, burn!”
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Blue Checkmarked Too!
Why In The World Is This A Thing People Believe
Hating Disloyal People
His dad even cheated on his country. January 6th, bromance with putin, love with kim, etc.
Pretty much everyone has been in a situation where a clever comeback could have saved them, either from embarrassment or from unsolicited comments. But it’s also a universal experience to be unable to spit out the perfect comeback in time. There’s even a Seinfeld episode dedicated to it, where George ruminates on the fact that he thought of, "Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you,” too late.
Unfortunately, most of us do concoct the perfect replies too late, which is why the Clever Comebacks subreddit is such a satisfying place. This community has 1.2 million visitors weekly, so there’s absolutely no shortage of new, brilliant content on any given day. From roasting trolls to obliterating misogynists with one comment, this is the place to be if you want to improve your comeback game.
God Is A Chef Apparently
Are You Really A Good Person?
When A Dystopia With Hungry Children Is Painted As A Feel Good Story
Now, not every situation warrants a brutal comeback. Sometimes, the mature thing to do is simply show the other person grace and hope that they respond nicely to your kindness. But if a person makes an offensive comment, rudely mocks your physical appearance, or clearly has no interest in being polite, you will be justified in sharing an epic comeback.
And if you’re looking for some to keep up your sleeve, Reader’s Digest has got you covered. First, there’s the iconic, “That sounds like a you problem.” It’s simple, but a classic for a reason. You can also give someone a backhanded compliment, such as, “Someday you’ll go far– and I really hope you stay there.”
I Mean, He's Not Wrong
The Call Is Coming From Inside The House
That’s A Billion Dollar Burn
Thank you slate. I'm still PO'd about not being able to use Twitter anymore bc of the hatred he's allowed to rein with no restrictions. Reddit is kinder and more diplomatic.
Reader’s Digest also has some suggestions for comebacks to use in specific situations. For example, if someone mocks an aspect of your physical appearance, you can hit them with something along the lines of, “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.” And if you simply can’t stand someone’s behavior, it might be time to tell them, “You bring everyone a lot of joy… when you leave the room.”
The Founders Would Say "The Fuck Is An Ohio?"
Both Magnus Carlsen And I Can Play Chess
No One Delegates Like Elon
Jesus, he couldn't raise the hairs on the back of a coward...........................
If you’re wondering why you always think of a comeback moments too late, you’re certainly not alone. In fact, the French even have a term for this experience: l’esprit de l’escalier or “staircase wit.” This was coined by 18th-century philosopher Denis Diderot, but it’s still just as relevant today.
I Think It's Satire But It's Funny Either Way
Hey there are many good Latino scientists with the name Jesus. Like Jesus G. Valenzuela who is one of the worlds top Vector Molecular Biologists and works for the NIH. Or in the UK Dr. Jesus Gil one of the worlds foremost experts of CRISPR and Head of the Senescence Research Group at the Medical Research Council. Both have great publication records you can google
Someone Needs To Send Help
Not old enough to vote or buy a beer, but old enough to fight and d1e for a megalomaniac's war for oil.
They’re Only In It For Themselves
"Politicians hide themselves away, they only started the war. Why should they go out to fight? They leave that all to the poor." - Black Sabbath, 'War Pigs', 1970.
Apparently, there’s even a scientific explanation for why our brains freeze up when we’re tasked with creating a brilliant comeback on the spot. This is partially because, when faced with confrontation, your amygdala takes over. This is the part of the brain that processes fear and anxiety, and it plays a key role in our fight or flight response. That’s why our instincts tend to take the wheel in these situations, and we can’t be as clever or suave as we’d like to be.
Truer Words Have Never Been Spoken
You Can Still Breathe Idiot
Hey Ian, if you're gonna pick on an old man, why don't you pick on the Exalted Orange One that you supported.
Very Strange, Indeed
Unless you’re on an improv troupe or you’ve been blessed with the brain and tongue of an Aaron Sorkin character, there’s a good chance you’re not perfect at comebacks. And you know what, that’s totally fine! It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to be sharp and witty at all times. Plus, sinking to a rude person’s level by insulting them back isn’t always the most mature move to make. As Michelle Obama says, "When they go low, we go high."
Apply Directly To The Burn
When and where is the government controlling stoves? In Conspiracy Land? Is this like banning hamburgers and Christmas?
Flat Earthers Make Me Happy Because I Know I'm Not A Complete Failure
The Flat Earth Society has members all across the globe.
Just Wait
We hope you’re enjoying your scroll through these clever and brutal comebacks, pandas! Keep upvoting the ones that you’ll be keeping in your back pocket, and let us know in the comments below if you have any more comebacks that could absolutely obliterate a bully. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda list featuring satisfying encounters like these, look no further than right here!
We See You Kevin!
Another fine republican. A representative of the party actively endorsing their messiah's conversion of America from a democratically elected country to a f*****t regime. If I remember correctly, dictatorships are very good at taking and taking.
Atleast One Photo
Pretty Simple!!!!!
A Music Composer
If I was at a dinner party and somebody introduces himself as Dr Smith, I would ask in what discipline he'd earned his doctorate. (Meanwhile, on the inside, I'd be waving my arms and saying, "Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. Danger!")
I Wonder Why
This comes from when it was decided that all the middle class people who lost jobs from quarantine and got the normal unemployment couldn't even buy enough food let alone pay their bills. So they raised the unemployment with supplements so the middle class could survive... then they dropped it back down, and now they take it away from the poor because who cares... right?
When Your You Put Both Feet In Your Mouth
I never heard of this Pasture before, but he even LOOKS like a sleazy used car salesman.
We're Not The Same After All
That Is A Good One
Ben Shapiro again. It is no coincidence that his initials are BS.
One Hour Dry Burgers
Alpha Guy Is On A Highway To Prison
Complaining Is Easier Than Fixing
Not To Mention Charging You For Telling You That You Don't Have Money
Twitter Has Gotten Funnier Recently
The Absolute Irony
No, no, you've got it all wrong. "Free speech" actually means "the special people (ie me and the people I identify with) are allowed to say all the racist, s.exist, ableist, factually incorrect BS we like without facing consequences of any kind".
I’ll Take Made-Up Stories For $500, Alex
Show People They Matter With The Colour Of Your Money
Corporations acting like they're caring people is beyond the pale. STFU and count your piles of cash that you can't possibly share.
Climate Change Is An Issue, Mr Clarkson
Ozone Layer
Savage Level 100
When The World Revolves Around The USA
Rules Are Rules
In 2 years she's going to be posting "why won't my son speak to me anymore?".
To Really Show Him He Should Buy 100 Copies
That Doesn't Mean What You Think It Means
Oof! Shots Fired!!!
Rush That Man To The Burn Unit. Stat
He thinks that the girl that smiled at him at the drive-thru is in love with him. But she wasn't up to his standards.
Depends On Who Writes The Comic
Magneto. I think Sir Ian Mckellen wins. Gandalf, Magneto, choose your hero, that Man wins all battles in my world.
Dagger Into The Liver
This Is Correct
My neighbour's Tesla has a sticker that says "Sorry. We bought this before we knew Elon was a c**t".
Good Reply. Understood The Assignment
My Thumb Is The Size Of A Nuke Explosion
Flameproofing? But My House Isn't On Fire!
Government Employee Thinks There Are Too Many Government Employees
Does This Count?
He Is Honest. The Best Kind Of Doctor
Why Would You Even Reject The Jacket?
Let’s be straight. She’s entitled to fancy who she fancies and doesn’t have to justify it. And every woman reading this knows we all need to be careful about what we accept from men we aren’t interested in taking things further with. That said, no idea why it had to be posted publicly but I’m one of the generations that doesn’t have to splurge out every last thing that went through our minds or we did.
God Created Cancel Culture
Never Bring A Book To The Bar
Idk If This Has Been Posted Before, But I Love His Little Smile
Is there also a Universe in which Stephen Hawking is not mentioned in the Epste!n files ?
Gonna Need Some Cream For That Burn Mate
As A Male. I Stand By This
Bro Has Got Everything Sorted
He Just Nailed It
Might have a downvote but some languages are more difficult to learn and speak than others. I'm polish, english somehow went easy with me. Can't imagine speaking chinese or others. If none speaker spoke polish perfectly, I'd be very impressed.
Well, Is She Wrong?!
Elon Musk Is Back With His Stupidity
Thoughtful Guy
Chicken families... you mean the thousands of other chickens they are packed in with in the "free range" farms during their 3-5 month existence? Yes I know they can live to 20, but they are delicious when under a year old.
Anyone Use An Ad Blocking Software?
IM not watching 2 ads! I have zero ads on BP as well! I use the Brave browser and I swear that has saved my sanity! Like on this site in particular I dang near stopped getting on here at all because the ads were out of control!! Not anymore tho! 😎😎😎
And The Most Hair-Raising
Hypocrisy Comes Naturally
How Can He Make Comments When He Was Not Even There For The Committee Hearings On Inflation?
Found On Another Page. Personally I Find This One Perfect. Double Standard Much?
Same Honestly
One Of My Favourites
0-100 Real Quick
Bro You’re The Foot
Dread It. Run From It
Just A Gender Reveal
I can comprehend that this is Italian colors over the Duomo di Milano, but I read a lot outside of public school, so I might not count.
It All Makes Sense Now
Ben Shapiro is a buffoon. He got his a*s handed to him at the Oxford Union (just like Charlie Kirk). Their particular brand of wilful ignorance only works in a specific part of a specific country.
He Got Humbled Quick
But the more verbiage, the less willing people are to read it.
Load More Replies...Almost every author on BP needs to take a course in how to construct a poll.
But the more verbiage, the less willing people are to read it.
Load More Replies...Almost every author on BP needs to take a course in how to construct a poll.
