Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Mixing parents and Twitter is a dangerously hilarious combination that we have already established previously. We showed you the most hilarious mom tweets, dad tweets, we even showed you the best celebrity parent tweets. This time, we've got something just as good in store for you.
We here at Bored Panda went through the parenting tweets of 2017, picked out the best ones so far, and put them all together in this list! Serving at your pleasure, all of the tweets in this list are so hilarious they're bound to make you laugh, even if you're not a parent! Keep on scrolling to check them out and don't forget to vote for your favorites.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Donna Niedzialkowski-Imbrogno 8 years ago
I have had kids repeat to me the horrible things they have heard trump say on TV, at school, on the radio, from friends - about women, Mexicans Muslims...etc. such a good roll model. 🙄
RELATED:
#2
Eva De Fraye 8 years ago
Mine asked what my favorite roundabout is. Now I know. I didn't before.
Trey Styles 8 years ago
Me too, kids just makes everything more chill and fun. i wouldint be the man i am with em ;)
#3
Asia 8 years ago
This is actually what I love about little kids. Their minds are not yet corrupted or controlled...
Mela Biondi 8 years ago
That's exactly what I think about all the times ! :) you see how they connect things and you say hey that's clever, I haven't thought about that!
Load More Replies...
Zori the degu 8 years ago
The kid's got a point, you know. I've delved so deep in the series(they are my personal favorite books) but this question still remains an enigma to me. Wizards can fix broken bones and teeth in seconds, remove the effects of horrible poisons, etc. But fixing eyes must be a blind spot to them in all senses of words. :)
Bianka Nagy 8 years ago
My opinion is that they can't cure stuff that you were born with. They can only fix injuries.
Load More Replies...
Sabrina Usita 8 years ago
That's genius! After all these years, that never crossed my mind! *thinking about that game show Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader*
Karen Drucks 8 years ago
What they are are logical thinkers....why fix something fixing something else...straight to the problem
Robin Hein 8 years ago
Just like "god"! Why can't he use his magic to eliminate all health problems? Oh wait ... because he's a fictional character, too.
#4
ahsrav jag 7 years ago
I remember kids from my school making fun of me for my curly hair. It's fun to see them with their receding hairlines now
#5
Stille20 8 years ago
If you pay all the bills and still have money in your account I call it a win.
#6
Hayley Lightcap 8 years ago
I would think the dreams would turn out nutty
Load More Replies...
Kjorn 8 years ago
my older boy are a big soccer player and we have orange cone for practice and during one week my 3yo girl slept with one. Capture-59...3c3524.jpg 
Timea Hajnalka 8 years ago
C'mon, you can open stuffed animals and eat peanuts out of it...! 😀
#7
Arnoud Lievers 8 years ago
Maybe he just wants a brighter future for all. Lick those windows clean young man! Let the son shine trough! You are changing the world!!!
Brandi Walker 8 years ago
Well, he's changing the way he will view the world, anyways. With dirt spots or not.
Load More Replies... 
Abhisek Chakraborty 8 years ago
I guess he knows that it takes a different man to really bring a change and he wants to start with licking the windows
Kim Lorton 8 years ago
But you let Tucker do it! Mom.. Tucker is a dog.. but then he'll get the germs! Why can't I have the germs,too? Endless excellent questions!
#8
John L 8 years ago
They all tend to be "little a******s". The real issue is how much patience you are willing to endure, before you become an even bigger a*****e. ;O
Steve Pearce 8 years ago
3; Will you draw Squidward for me? Me ; Deciding Patrick Star would be easier with a pink crayon 3; Looking seriously at my effort....."I'm not impressed!"
Laura Gray 8 years ago
oh yeah - and when they have children of their own they are twice as bad and the bring them over and leave them with grandma!
MichelleFernung 8 years ago
My mom had this book....she read a few pages and then used it for a doorstop. It's still there.....
MichelleFernung 8 years ago
My mom has this book. She read a few pages and then used it as a door stop. It's still there.....
#9
Asia 8 years ago
She will do it in front of his friends, obviously (remind that fact, not poop...).
Kjorn 8 years ago
i still try to memorize all the embarassing stuff he do as a kid to throw it in his face when he'll come home with his first girlfriend.
darknessIsMyOutfit 8 years ago
To me I don't think that sounds like very good parenting. As a parent you should understand that your child is going to do things that are less normal than what an adult would do, and let them just be kids and not use it as fuel later. I would never in my life think of using something my kid that did that was "embarrassing" as fuel against them later that's a good way to get the day hate you and they'll be the ones picking your nursing home so respect your children
Load More Replies...
Hans 8 years ago
Let's hope he does not remember how you farted at home when you believed he would not yet make sense of it.
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Yes! Kids notice EVERYTHING, and the very young will disclose personal details to anyone!
Load More Replies... #10
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Ahh, it seems funny now, but trust me.....when you have a 17 year old you'll feel it. ;)
Arnoud Lievers 8 years ago
20 years later. Then they cried and cried, "f'ing adorable kids, you try not to get attached. Bastards"
Shari H 8 years ago
My guess is they laughed and laughed because they know their kids will NEVER move out...
Load More Replies...
#12
Oliver Nahlik 8 years ago
Board games? newfangled nonsense! we played with rocks and dirt! back when the world was all black and white, before i invented colours!
Cherié Terblanche 8 years ago
No no, you should tell them to go play OUTSIDE. By themSELVES. And use their imaginations...
Master Markus 8 years ago
Seriously, I grew up in a time with video games, but sometimes just the right size stick would fall out of a tree to sword-fight with.
Load More Replies... 
TheMsLollidella 8 years ago
I used to make water ballons and throw them as my siblings lol there's no way any of us would stay still enough for a board game
#13
#14
WolfTitan Model 1 8 years ago
"the hart longs for what it can't have" -someone smart
Load More Replies...
Nuniek Widiayani 8 years ago
Me too, i never sleep well since my first child was born, seven years ago. My dream is that I can sleep for 24 hours
#15
John L 8 years ago
Your first kid eh? Remember, this is not about a pink tongue. This about "Attention". :D
BoredBirgit 8 years ago
James Breakwell has 4 daughters between 2 and 7 years old. 😊
Load More Replies...
#16
İdil 8 years ago
You need to yell "I wonder where she is" every once in a while to make it more believable so that she won't come looking for you.
Melinda Allen 8 years ago
My 2 and 4 year old grandsons will play hide and seek too. They will bring you a blanket, count to 20 while you put the blanket over you. It's almost as good as "Tag You're It!" I sit on the couch and they run back and forth. As they run by they touch you and say Tag you're it! Every now and then I tag them. I'll miss these games when they figure out how they are really played!
Jose Baeyens 8 years ago
....goes out in the garden, mows the lawn, washes the car, cleans the pool, has a rest and a beer. Wife comes home : "Where's the kid ?" "Ooops, forgot"....runs to the hiding spot : "There you aaarrre, good hiding spot baby. You win, you get to hide again....gogogo"
Dede Oublier 8 years ago
Why downvote me ? I have a kid myself. Thats not the way to handle this problem! Only if you dont care about your child or are an a*****e. its like letting it stand in the rain, sayin you'll get a umbrella but then you go play on your video console and let it stand in the rain. i dont get it.
Load More Replies...
#17
Arwen Lara Hogardt 8 years ago
Me when somebody looks at my stuff, picks it up, is about to drop it
Paula Butts 8 years ago
Our 3 year old son drew "people" on the wall with a black sharpie, and it took 7 coats of paint to get it covered up, and then, if you knew where to look, you could still see it.
#18
#19
darknessIsMyOutfit 8 years ago
That's because it's an equal partnership nobody should be a boss it should be shared 50/50
Load More Replies... #20
Patricia Ross 8 years ago
It's in those sleep moments that you forget how much they get on your nerves.
Timea Hajnalka 8 years ago
My 2.last Ex (but years ago) told me, that his Ex always told him, how cute he are when he sleep, that is unbelievable, that he can be such a monster when he's wake. I laughed hard. Until i realized, how serious this was. He was a narc... 😅
#21
Desiree Lauro 8 years ago
I would have too. And probably cried a muah and as hard as he did when I didn't get one.
#22
Marianne van Dort 8 years ago
I don't think Kjorn was referring to himself. My kid actually made the same remark out of the blue about his dad in a busy store
deborah darsie 8 years ago
She forgot to add "at top volume, just as the noise around her goes quiet"
Jose Baeyens 8 years ago
I knew a young mom once who said : Goddamned who's teaching my daughter to swear and curse ?
It's Caturday 8 years ago
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since I can tell English isn't your first language. I also think you're giving a general example. :)
Load More Replies...
#23
Master Markus 8 years ago
I don't understand fidget spinners as something to "help kids focus". In my experience it's just going to distract them.
Bob 3.0 8 years ago
People like me with ADHD need to do something with our hands a lot of the time, so fidget spinners do help a lot.
Load More Replies...
Trish McBride 8 years ago
I could understand if you could use the fidget spinners with 1 hand but you need both so how does that help with ADD & ADHD?
Bob 3.0 8 years ago
Dude, that's when we're using them for fun. With the ADHD moments we just use one hand. Not everyone uses 2.
Load More Replies...
Mia Rennie 8 years ago
FIDGET CUBE ALL THE WAY! fidget spinners are fun to play with but they are just distracting
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
I help students find a quiet way to stimulate w fine or gross motor so they can focus/work.
#24
LittleMissAri 8 years ago
I grew up believing in Disney's magic..... When I was older I realized how evil Disney can be sometimes
#25
Flora Polvado 8 years ago
I really miss the box. Those were the best toys. My mom would bring home boxes 1/2 the size of a sofa from her work!
Load More Replies... 
Pulkit Saraf 8 years ago
It totally bums me out that your child has to go to such extreme measures to get emotional comfort. And that too, insincere
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
Thank you SO much for being judgemental to a complete stranger who is very likely, joking.
Load More Replies... Mia Rennie 8 years ago
you made a bad choose of saying anything but that... she'll now expect you to give her chocolate and let her have a tree house and a pet loin
#26
Karl Piekaerts 7 years ago
When your kid can have an argument about it it doesn’t need a diaper anymore
Tenley Nelson 7 years ago
My daughter once cried bc someone pooped in her underwear during the night. She's 20 now & my husband and I still joke about the "Poopy Fairy" to this day.
#27
Janet Belden 8 years ago
Just tell them that they can't have breakfast anymore. Then watch them eat it and fight you for it if necessary.
Load More Replies... Blue Cicada 8 years ago
What gets me is when they _deny_ that they EVER liked peaches or yogurt!!!
Jose Baeyens 8 years ago
I have a cat....same thing (without the yoghurt and peaches of course).
Shaphan Hardy 8 years ago
And their new favorite thing for breakfast is the stuff they wouldn't eat last night which you threw away to save room in the fridge for food they would actually eat... ba dum dump Daah.
Zori the degu 8 years ago
I'd be so irritated that I wouldn't even care. They'll eat what you gave them or they'll simply starve. I mean, I really don't understand much about kids' psychology, but everyone I know would do this if their kids acted like that.
darknessIsMyOutfit 8 years ago
There is a breaking point though, I remember being stubborn when I was a kid. I refused to eat anything for 2 days maybe more i don't remember no matter what it was it was gross, and I ended up very sick and on i.v. at 5 years old
Load More Replies... #28
Kjorn 8 years ago
i Wake up naturally now... sadly it's always around 5h30... even on week-ends
Shana 8 years ago
Wake up by alarm at 6h10 for work, curse the world and wish/crave for more sleep. Day off or weekend, no plans, no alarm, nothing: Wide awake at 6h30.... (doesn't even matter at what time I go to bed anymore, I'll be up before 8h anyway :P )
Load More Replies... 
#29
Rogue Angel 8 years ago
My kids called cows moo-moo's and dogs wo-wo's... it took me three years to call them cows and dogs again.
Zori the degu 8 years ago
I can't remember it either, but bear in mind that I'm not a native speaker as well.
darknessIsMyOutfit 8 years ago
It's an ambulance but I think it should be called a wee woo truck
Load More Replies...
#30
Larissa Bernasconi 8 years ago
I'm 20 and I recently found out that my father kept a giant folder full of my drawings. That's so nice...
kytetiger 8 years ago
my sister's and mines are at my father's place, all behind a cupboard in the attic (because some are A2 size ) :D
Load More Replies...
Jhoa 8 years ago
I remember the day I asked that - my mother wanted to hang up new drawings of mine on the kitchen wall - and I didn´t want her to take the old ones down - then I demanded toknow where the ones before had gone. My mother was very subdued (so was I) and told me she couldn´t keep every drawing, and that my new ones were so much better.
Denise Silva 8 years ago
I told my son, the garbage man loved his drawings, I gave them to him
Rogue Angel 8 years ago
I kept all my kids drawings, I have bags of them stored in the cellar.
Mia Rennie 8 years ago
I found the card my sister gave me for christmas ripped up in the bin...
#31
#32
#33
Norman van Druten 8 years ago
Hey Kid, don't you have a poisonous reptile to go and annoy!
Load More Replies...
Jan Feline 8 years ago
Oh, hell. I remember throwing a party in 8th grade, where there was a debate about which was better - a record player or the newfangled cassette tape. And I really don't feel that 47 is terribly old. My 73yo Dad works full time, and my 70yo Mom is active, social, and drives all over the state.
#34
just a thought 8 years ago
My nephew does that every time ... He is 8 months old
Load More Replies...
#35
Lianna Valdez 8 years ago
When my kids leave on the weekends. This house is beautiful. They come back and it starts all over again from the front door.
TheReader19 8 years ago
Like someone once said to me, clean when they leave home. I'm adding pray the leave young!
Michelle Sebold 8 years ago
Wishful thinking! They come back to visit and make messes then leave. They still don't help.
#36
Kim Lorton 8 years ago
I'm positive they have invisible antennae on their heads.. they know when you're in the bathroom for #2, if you're on an important phone call, drinking alcohol, eating chocolate, and when you say no, they will sniff your breath!
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
But a lot of dogs would enjoy relaxing WITH you!!
Load More Replies... #37
Michel M. Prins 8 years ago
Almost sounds like an equivalent version likes on facebook, but on paper.
#38
#39
Kim Lorton 8 years ago
Time for bed, I put a sweet treat under your pillow, but you can only have it if you go to bed and stay there! Does bed time routine to find a cold blueberry wrapped in plastic wrap, mmmm! My favorite, fruit flavored candy!
#40
StarKitten 8 years ago
It's what I call young humans! Comes with being a cat.
Load More Replies... #41
Nickie LaRue 8 years ago
I'm willing to bet that if I counted, I'd easily double the normal amount of steps I'm supposed to walk in a day, just walking over to his crib every 20 mins to help him find his Binky...
Melodee Black 8 years ago
When my friends who are parents show me a pic of their babies, I show them a pic of me sleeping
#42
Sooz Anzalone 8 years ago
I usually say... No, they aren't twins. They were just born on the same day.
#43
Allana Rose 8 years ago
Nothing anyone ever says or does to you will make you feel old than a simple remark like this from your kids.
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
The moment you’re no longer “daddy” but become “dad”. Like losing something important.
Load More Replies...
Sue Lowe 8 years ago
Awe why did you send him to bed, he was equating you on the same level as Awe, why send him to bed when all he was doing was putting you on the same level as....ummm, maybe Kid Rock, or Super Man or....?
Kim Lorton 8 years ago
I'm the oldest of 4 girls, yes, we are all still girls! I love my niece, who's mom is the youngest. I think you look the youngest out of all the sisters! My mom has gray hair! Me, I laugh, because then, I didn't have any!
#44
Louise Brigance 8 years ago
People would ask me if my twins, a boy and a girl, were identical...I couldn't figure out what part of identical didn't they understand.
Load More Replies...
Lindy Micallef 8 years ago
I met a man once who had a twin sister, people would ask him if they were identical twins lol
Kristie McClellan 8 years ago
I am a female and have a twin brother and have been asked if we are identical! If it ever happens again, I am going to say yes.
Michele Birt 7 years ago
Lol people have asked me if my triplets are identical. They are 2 boys and a girl.
Karen Whittle-Herbert 7 years ago
I used to be asked if my twins were "natural". I started saying "no, they're plastic".
Britney Quarnberg 8 years ago
My husband gets asked all the time if him and his twin SISTER are identical 🤔
#45
BluestarIsAwesome 5 years ago
Depends if you wave worms on a stick around or not.
Load More Replies... Allana Rose 8 years ago
Oh I wouldnt worry about that. People will remind you with the horrified look on their faces!
#46
Lance Beard 8 years ago
*Relatives arrive* "OMG WHERE IS IT" Me: *Waving around a cardboard package* "Just in time for dinner! Come in, guys!"
Janet Martin 8 years ago
Just an FYI: insurance companies only pay for that the first time. Silly me!
#47
bianca johnson 8 years ago
To what God do we sacrifice chocolate donuts? I will never convert to that religion.
Jose Baeyens 8 years ago
it's the religion where you HAVE TO eat chocolate at least once a day... (changed your mind yet ?)
Load More Replies...
#48
#49
#50
Hans 8 years ago
Isn't it great to shift perspectives? And I guess it is even better for grandparents: have all the joy with children, but leave when it is getting to messy.
Marie-Eve Barette 8 years ago
When I get asked why I chose not to have children, the answer is simple : my parents, both in their 70s now, are still in therapy to debrief after my childhood and teen years.
#51
Abby Rexroth 8 years ago
They're free up until you have to buy a pregnancy test and then it explodes from there.
#52
Mia Rennie 8 years ago
sales job interview: person: it says here you don't have any experiance... you: oh! I should really update that! I have 2 four year olds who are pickey eaters p: you've got the job! chef interview: p: do you have any experence? y: well... I have 3 kids who eat their food and don't complain p: it's a mirical! you've got the job!
#53
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Oh, he knows. Many bus drivers are parents. They know the relief of sending their children off to school.
#54
Janet Martin 8 years ago
Whiskey for him. Benadryl for the kids. Give yourself some "me time" girl!
Abby Rexroth 8 years ago
Back in the 60s (before I was a twinkle in their eyes) my parents took road trips with my elder siblings. They took a bag of candy and a fly swatter.
criminalgirl 8 years ago
Are you the kind of person that needs every. single. thing. spelled. out. to. you? I didn't take from that, that he was the only driver...how did you?
Load More Replies... #55
Allen Andrews 8 years ago
If your parents give you the silent treatment, that can be a childhood win.
#56
Marzo Florida 8 years ago
It really depends on the child. I have two baby god brothers and they just give a creepy stare while i strap them in XD
#57
#58
just a thought 8 years ago
Noo ! Mom's and dad's should pamper themselves too ... Don't make any parent feel that they're doing a mistake if they spend money for their own things ...
Load More Replies... Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
I went shopping for new clothes, found the cutest two dresses for my daughter. Expensive ones. But who needs jeans without holes or underwear that fits anyway?
#59
Marzo Florida 8 years ago
Have you ever seen a parent fall asleep while trying to put a child to sleep? Its hilarious! 😂
#60
#62
#63
#64
#65
#67
#68
CelSlade 8 years ago
My son refused to eat ham for years because it 'put air' in his mouth. Could never get a definitive answer what that meant. Strangely enough this was never an issue with the new 'cold pork slices' I started putting in his sandwiches XD
CelSlade 8 years ago
Got around the 'no kissing' thing the same way - called them 'mouth hugs'. As long as they don't make the smacking-noise I'm golden and my lovely gifts of maternal affection won't be scrapped off like something dirty the dog left.
Load More Replies...
#69
#71
#72
#74
#75
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
My sister told me to, the day before I got into labor - I love my sis
#77
Heather Evans 8 years ago
My son at 3: *shouting* Mommy, look! That's the same color as your nipples!" pointing at some (presumably) candy item in the impulse section while I was checking out at Walgreens. The line behind me was varied in age and gender. I wasn't sure whether to avoid eye contact or look them dead in the face and own it.
Jennifer Meier 8 years ago
I would have just ruffled the hair on the top of their head, and said with all sincerity, "awwwww...it's you, buddy! Didn't you know that?" :P
#78
#80
Abby Rexroth 8 years ago
Unlock the door (most doors have an emergency button) to show them YOU have the power and then tell them they can stay in there until further notice!!!
#81
Jan Feline 8 years ago
Yeah, that was me. I don't have kids, so take it as you will. According to my mom, except for sleeping, I was so good (read: autistic), that she took me to the doctor to see if I was ok (40-some years ago, the answer was yes). Then came my sister. Quite a surprise for my parents. But she grew up into a cool adult.
Matthew Steele 8 years ago
Same thing. Both on the diagnosis, and going to the doctor. And the sister. Actually it's possible you're me in the future, now that I think of it. My mother remembers having to ask the pediatrician "Aren't they supposed to cry sometimes?"
Load More Replies...
Monica Friedman 8 years ago
5 minutes before bedtime my 12-year-old stepdaughter comes into my office, grabs on the stability ball, and bounces frenetically while chattering about her toys, clothes, hair &c. (i.e. every night, I get to experience eternity).
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
Just the same most parents do "I'm going to bed now, but before the livingroom is halfclean it took 2 hours
#84
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 8 years ago
I did that to my parents. I still default to I love you mummy when I'm trying to say it to my dad.
#85
Tracy Moorhead 8 years ago
My brother could cough so well, you'd think he was coughing up a lung!!
#86
#87
#88
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
Just wait until the teens start. Every year I think it will get better and....PSYCH! ;)
Linda Gulley 8 years ago
My daughter is almost 16 and we get along great.
Load More Replies... #89
Rachel Korsten 8 years ago
If done safely it has no greater risk than a baby sleeping in a cot. Perhaps you should show evidence-based research before making such a pronounced statement.
Load More Replies...
#90
Lianna Valdez 8 years ago
My oldest is almost 18 and my youngest is 16 I still don't feel like a grown up hooray. Its more fun this way we act like kids together. Also they parent me at times its fun.
#91
#92
Daniel Colwell 8 years ago
"Get dressed" and "Did you make your bed?" is literally the best hour of my day.
#93
#94
Linda Gulley 8 years ago
Imagine doing everything you do PLUS working full time outside the home.
#96
Neverexus Everington 8 years ago
Gumball is alright... Unless they're watching the same episode.
Load More Replies... #97
#99
#100
#101
Sam Hirth 8 years ago
Rapping granny was an Americas got talent contestant season 1
Load More Replies...
#104
Marlene Chavez 8 years ago
then it ends up being the parent .. asking to themselves .. why aren't we there yet!! lol
#106
#108
Wanda Queen 8 years ago
And you can't spell stuff out anymore when you want something to go over her head.
#109
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
The survey must ben made by a non parent and non teaching old man
#111
#112
#113
CelSlade 8 years ago
Reason 128 why I should not be reading these while at work! There's only so many times you can pass off a guffaw as a cough XD
Darth Vader 8 years ago
This comment made me "guffaw" and pretend to violently cough :)
Load More Replies...
#116
#117
#119
#121
#122
Haunting Spirit 8 years ago
If you think that's weird get a horse. It's normal to discuss the poo of a horse with other horse owners.
#125
#126
#127
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
“Reaches into backpack with one hand and tosses snacks up at them”
#128
Jeeves 8 years ago
My brothers list at age 10: stay at home, don't get dressed, play computer, watch tv, play computer, not go outside for two weeks cause ur too busy on computer, and be a total MONSTER when told to get off and take dog for a walk. My list at 12: go outside, take random holiday courses, ANYTHING to stay away from brother. ANYTHING AT ALL.
#131
#133
#139
Gayle Hunter-Gatherer 8 years ago
Yes it is. That's what my Mother called them.
Load More Replies... #140
Haunting Spirit 8 years ago
Chuck Norris could turn any toddler into a perfect listening kid. Don't mess with Chuck "god of internet" Norris.
#144
Isabel Care 8 years ago
Met a mum shopping in her pajamas at 2am. Family was asleep so dad and kids didn't know he was babysitting.
#145
Sue Ballingall 8 years ago
My parents actually did that with me when I was about 5/6. I wouldn't eat anything unless it was a snack...apparently it worked because I ate lol
#146
Haunting Spirit 8 years ago
Why ever did they invented gallon jugs? That's 3.7 liters. The largest we can buy (Netherlands) is 1.5 liter. More than enough.
Shari H 8 years ago
There are only 2 adults in my house and we go through a gallon of milk in 3 days. And I know, there are hundreds of you that are saying "adults don't need milk", I don't need beer either, but I like it!
Load More Replies...
#148
Claire Todd 8 years ago
Yeah, it is. I don't know how she would get them to leave their toys, but it might work with clothes you don't want to bother to drop off at Goodwill. LOL
Load More Replies... #149
Norman van Druten 8 years ago
Most definitely it is, otherwise a tribe of bushmen would have trouble finding any kind of water on that soap!
#155
#156
Rachel Kaufman Parra 8 years ago
then peel/separate the undies from the pants and pray for no poop stains/skid marks (I have a boy)
#159
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
I’m visiting friends. Made goulash soup at home and brought it. They told me, “oh our kids will absolutely not eat that”. Both ate it, the oldest nearly ate my entire bowl. Lol stunned parents. Tonight I’m cooking again 😁
#161
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
"Healthier"? I always liked whole wheat because it was more flavorful.
#163
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
of course it is, if you hate your kids, you would'n mention them at all :-)
#167
#171
Jade Lorreni💜💙 8 years ago
Our ild bathroom had yellow floor and blue walls. Now i know why my mum chose it
#174
#185
#186
#191
Tim Douglass 8 years ago
Actually I think Donald Duck has been banned in a couple countries because he doesn't wear pants.
Load More Replies... #192
#198
#199
Hrafnhildur Viðarsdóttir 8 years ago
My thought every friggin morning!!! I feel your pain sistah!
#205
#207
Hrafnhildur Viðarsdóttir 8 years ago
There is no in between, this is absolutely an either or situation!
#210
💖 Stacy Rae 💖 8 years ago
But how many times DOES a cat blink a day? This is important information that we need to know!
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
Once. Open when they wake up, close when they go to sleep. In between they stare at you for not feeding them.
Load More Replies... Nickie LaRue 8 years ago
And that's when you tell them that they can find out in the morning, but only by sitting quietly by the cat all day and keep track. You'll get enough time to shower, if you're lucky
#219
Nickie LaRue 8 years ago
My 6 mo old does that constantly! It'll be time to eat, I'll start making his food, he'll see that and start yelling what sounds like "NOW". When I sit in the chair and try and get him situated, he screams like a banshee until nipple hits mouth. And when he's really really tired, he'll lay in bed and yell "nite nite" at me (in the next room and in no way stopping him) until he tires himself out. I must get my 10k steps a day just from going to his crib every couple minutes to make sure he hasn't thrown up and try and convince him that is his bed, not red hot pokers...
#229
#236
Alwin Langevoort 7 years ago
Go camping, make them someone else’s problem 😎 I sometimes search for them to come eat..
#239
#253
#260
#273
Vickie Harrington 8 years ago
I do that a lot. My teenagers won't here me yelling up the stairs, but they never miss a text. Lol
#277
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
Good humor :-) believe it or not, they will thank you in about 20 years
#282
#297
#298
Shaphan Hardy 8 years ago
Knocked-out-of-dream? Kuickened? There should be a word for waking up because your toddler is staring at you from a range of two inches as well.
#306
Sherry Tupelu 8 years ago
A friend tells me that they're having a child, I always ask if they're happy about it, instead of just congratulating them.
#313
#315
Monica Friedman 8 years ago
Me: Do you want a quesadilla? 5-y-o: No, I hate quesadillas! Me: (suspicious) would you like a plain tortilla and some plain cheese? 5-y-o: Yes! 5 minutes later... 5-y-o: Could you heat these up together?
Rachel Kaufman Parra 8 years ago
Me: "Do you want applesauce?" Kid: shakes head no, then yes. smiles. Me: "which is it?" *make up your damn mind!!!!!
#316
#318
#330
Rachel Kaufman Parra 8 years ago
"did you poop" YES "did you wipe" YES "did you wash your hands?" CRICKETS chirping
#338
#339
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I think that's why Lego includes duplicates of really small pieces in their sets nowadays.
#354
#357
Weeping Willowz (WeepingWillowz) 8 years ago
If I have kids I'm going to say "if you don't eat the food I prepare, you can starve. I also prepare your ice cream and cookies. Therefor there are no loopholes"
#358
#366
Vibeke Jørgensen 8 years ago
I used to write " It took a lot longer to wake up than we had expected"
#399
Shaphan Hardy 8 years ago
It should be physically impossible for a single Lego underfoot to be as painful as it feels, but worse still is the Lego only half stepped on.
#405
Tim Douglass 8 years ago
When they become teenagers that's what we call "the week's groceries".
#409
Erin McLaughlin 8 years ago
My sister's famous example of this is when she repeatedly said, "There's one thing I'll always remember" trying to get our mother's attention in the car. Finally Momma gave up and said, "OK, Lisa, what is it?" Lisa - I forgot. Classic!
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I'll be honest: I'm that kid. Except I'm about to tell a joke, but the conversation changes subject before I could let loose, and my joke is no longer relevant.
#415
#423
#444
#458
#459
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
Oh how we laughed and laughed / Except I wasn't laughing / Under the circumstances / I've been shockingly nice! (Excerpt from Portal 2's credits song, Want You Gone)
#463
Rachel Kaufman Parra 8 years ago
My son is right about 65% of the time. Does that reflect well on me and my husband (good genes) or just prove how far down the senility path we've walked already?! Up for debate.
CelSlade 8 years ago
An excellent reflection on your genes in my opinion! Though I might be biased... my kid's wrong/right ration is hitting 70/30 atm XD
Load More Replies...
#473
#484
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
(Just to put it in perspective, I could play "Video Killed the Radio Star" on Heavy difficulty with no problem.)
Load More Replies...
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Jean Frankland 8 years ago
Oh come on...it's all a laugh what's the matter with you serious misery-guts!? Kids are great fun and sometimes a pain in the a**e, like we all are. I remember the fun we had with my 4 kids and now the grandkids are adorable, funny, little pains too. Just as they should be.
Hans 8 years ago
Hm...this series leaves me with mixed feelings. I appreciate irony and even dark sarcasm, but also truly believe that having children is enriching. Some of these manage to cleverly pin the pitfalls and caveats of pareting while still expressing that being a parent is joyful after all...some, however, make you wonder if people are not too negative about their current life situation as the quotes are on the edge of moaning. I prefer the self-irony!
Leni 8 years ago
I feel similarly. But I also feel like many of these parents may create problems for themselves by keeping their kids small or putting up with certain behaviour that wouldn't fly here. And I'm not even excessively strict or anything... I mean the worst punishment my kid ever got was being sent to her room for a few minutes! But I do believe it should be 'freedom within limits'. Direction and clarity about their options helps them develop without stifling creativity.
Load More Replies...
María Emilia Martínez 8 years ago
Mother of a toddler...so it took me 3 days to read almost all the posts....haaa!
Jana Fedon 8 years ago
Surprised by the negativity in this feedback! Makes me think most of those commenting dont understand that parenting a full time, non- stop, 24/7 for 18 years PLUS job! When you put your life oit there like thjs it can SOMETIMES feel " heavy"...these parents tweets are enjoying a bit of brevity, albeit slapstick, thats deserved!
Leni 8 years ago
But I dunno, maybe it's a form of humor I don't get. I tend to think that all jokes have a layer of truth in them somewhere, that's usually what makes them funny, hence my surprise at some of these posts.
Load More Replies... Master Markus 8 years ago
I don't know why I click on these things, they just make my dislike for the idea of having young kids around flare up. They can hang around me once they reach the age of reason, capisce?
Ole Petter Ingebrigtsen 8 years ago
I laughed my a*s off at this - and I don't even HAVE kids...
Gea Horneman 8 years ago
My single mom with very little family assistance and four young kids (oldest 14, youngest 2) decided to get her Biomedical bachelor. In a different city. At 42. While managing a household. Now I'm not saying that Krypton exists, but I think me and my siblings might be adopted.
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I'll be honest: I'm reading this from an outside point of view. My mother has told me quite a few times that I was the least problematic of her children. Sure, I had my bratty moments (Who hasn't?), but compared to my siblings and step-siblings, I was never a troublemaker. Still, she loved us all the same! :)
Jean Frankland 8 years ago
Oh come on...it's all a laugh what's the matter with you serious misery-guts!? Kids are great fun and sometimes a pain in the a**e, like we all are. I remember the fun we had with my 4 kids and now the grandkids are adorable, funny, little pains too. Just as they should be.
Hans 8 years ago
Hm...this series leaves me with mixed feelings. I appreciate irony and even dark sarcasm, but also truly believe that having children is enriching. Some of these manage to cleverly pin the pitfalls and caveats of pareting while still expressing that being a parent is joyful after all...some, however, make you wonder if people are not too negative about their current life situation as the quotes are on the edge of moaning. I prefer the self-irony!
Leni 8 years ago
I feel similarly. But I also feel like many of these parents may create problems for themselves by keeping their kids small or putting up with certain behaviour that wouldn't fly here. And I'm not even excessively strict or anything... I mean the worst punishment my kid ever got was being sent to her room for a few minutes! But I do believe it should be 'freedom within limits'. Direction and clarity about their options helps them develop without stifling creativity.
Load More Replies... María Emilia Martínez 8 years ago
Mother of a toddler...so it took me 3 days to read almost all the posts....haaa!
Jana Fedon 8 years ago
Surprised by the negativity in this feedback! Makes me think most of those commenting dont understand that parenting a full time, non- stop, 24/7 for 18 years PLUS job! When you put your life oit there like thjs it can SOMETIMES feel " heavy"...these parents tweets are enjoying a bit of brevity, albeit slapstick, thats deserved!
Leni 8 years ago
But I dunno, maybe it's a form of humor I don't get. I tend to think that all jokes have a layer of truth in them somewhere, that's usually what makes them funny, hence my surprise at some of these posts.
Load More Replies... Master Markus 8 years ago
I don't know why I click on these things, they just make my dislike for the idea of having young kids around flare up. They can hang around me once they reach the age of reason, capisce?
Ole Petter Ingebrigtsen 8 years ago
I laughed my a*s off at this - and I don't even HAVE kids...
Gea Horneman 8 years ago
My single mom with very little family assistance and four young kids (oldest 14, youngest 2) decided to get her Biomedical bachelor. In a different city. At 42. While managing a household. Now I'm not saying that Krypton exists, but I think me and my siblings might be adopted.
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I'll be honest: I'm reading this from an outside point of view. My mother has told me quite a few times that I was the least problematic of her children. Sure, I had my bratty moments (Who hasn't?), but compared to my siblings and step-siblings, I was never a troublemaker. Still, she loved us all the same! :)
You May Like People Are Cracking Up At These 40 Spot-On Tweets About The Summer Season 154 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week That Will Make You ROFL 120 Funny Tweets About Dieting To Burn Extra Calories Laughing
Beatričė Varnaitė
Viltė Domkutė
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Related on Bored Panda
