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The Internet is a safe place for socially awkward people. There are no forced social interactions, no planning of meeting with your friends and no running from store employees when they ask "Can I help you?" As a fellow introvert, I love to decompress by reading, watching and scrolling through content online.

The Antisocial Butterfly Instagram page is for those who thrive on being alone, perhaps with only their cat to bother them. Its 2.1 million follower count is a testament to how many of us are out there. So, gather around, fellow antisocial butterflies and scroll through our selection of memes about this clearly superior way of living!

Bored Panda contacted Alexander Danvers, Ph.D., a social psychologist and Director of Treatment Outcomes at Sierra Tucson. He researches emotions and social interactions and agreed to lend us his expertise. Alex spoke to us about the importance of in-person socialization and whether commenting under a Reddit post or dueting a TikTok video can substitute social interaction in real life.

#1

Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

wholesomewaytostarttheday Report

️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

upvote for the puppers major achievements!

Herefortheparty
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

By the time Winston is 3 he will have cost his owners thousands in medical bills because of health problems.

Kevin the Manager
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Winston's facial expression at the outset of the walk looks a lot like mine before any exercise activity. NGL, if I could fall asleep on rocks like that, many a hiker would have seen me snoozin' away, Winston-style!

Tired Panda
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Winston looks like a cuddle muffin.

Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Downvote because this poor pup was bred with short legs and breathing difficulties, probably why he can't be walked without a nap. People, stop buying these pups and supporting the unscrupulous breeders!

The Doom Song
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aww Winston. I wish I could just take a mid walk nap too

Flora Porter
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's exhausting for them, walking, being on a lead and all the new sghts and smells! A slow, sniffy walk can tire a dog out more than chasing a ball.

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If the memes on this list are any evidence, going outside and socializing is not very popular right now. We here at Bored Panda have covered antisocial memes and jokes several times already in the past few years. We asked Alex Danvers what he thinks about this trend of hating socialization that's so prevalent on the Internet.

"My own take on what people mean when they say that they hate socializing online is that they hate high-effort, put-on-something-nice, 'going out' type of socializing," Danvers replies. "That takes extra effort, and it can feel like a lot at the end of the week."

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    #2

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahaha. Poor Nigerian Prince

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Nigerian millionaire formerly known as a prince.

    J Howard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spit out my apple juice! 😂😂😂

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I sent them a bank deposit slip !

    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, he wanted to send it to me and I deleted the email

    RedFoxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, I think he accidentally charged me instead of depositing it.

    Mrs Irish Mom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhhh i sent him thousands can i have my money back, with intrest ☘️

    Alexej Dvorak
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me as a non US citizen or resident, who mostly ever sees the Ben Franklin Side of the 100 Dollar bill in film and media, the backside with the bold 100 just looks so fake, like toy money. It's a weird thing.

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    #3

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    nomnomborkbork
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the kind of quick thinking I wish I had!

    Social Media
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could think up a response like this in a week or two. 😉

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad used to introduce people to my mom with "This is my first wife, Betty." Technically true, but it drove her crazy.

    shankShaw deReemer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad did this as well. He also told people us kids were hers but they had a different father. Some people believed that for a long time! He was such a joker but it also drove my mom a bit batty.

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    Jackson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a student at university, my wife came to pick me up. She had a friend with her. I was with a group of students. I said, "This is my wife [name]", then turned to the friend. Before I could say anything, she said, "And I am his mistress" and took off her coat. She was 8 months pregnant.

    Flora Porter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The late, great Eric Morecambe, when checking in to a hotel, would turn to his wife and say, 'What was your name again?'

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, to have been standing close to you two! Bravo!

    Geoffrey Scott
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At daughter's wedding. Guy I played golf with at bachelor outing introduced his GF, Tiffany. I went to get a beer and offered one to Will and asked " Do you want one Tiffany?" She said "who the hell is Tiffany, I'm Sarah?" She tried, but for once I remembered names, "Nice try", they laughed and laughed...

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh I'm so doing this at my partners Christmas party

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like my husband and I. Sometimes, when we go out to dinner, once seated at our table, I would ask, "so, does your wife know you're with me?"

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    In 2018 Danvers' colleague Anne Milek published a study about the link between well-being and the amount of socialization one receives. The more days per hour you spend socializing, the happier you are, they found. "The difference between the happiest and least happy people studied is about four more hours around other people every day," Danvers comments.

    "The study I recently published showed that if you’re spending more than 75% of your day alone, you’re much more likely to report feeling lonely. Both these studies relied on making audio recordings of people’s daily lives and listening in on when they were talking to other people. Based on these studies, it seems like you actually do want to spend more time around other people – physically, not just in cyberspace – to be satisfied with your life," Danvers concludes.

    #4

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Tired Panda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so hilarious! I've had that done. I would have laughed. Poor guy was probably embarrassed.

    J. Norton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have *loved* this, really! I just went through some fairly rough "boob health" stuff (just awful really) and anything to make me laugh would be so welcome......

    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Liar. That jelly is never warm.

    Daya Meyer
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everything that makes me laugh during a gynaecological examination is very welcome!

    Me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have twins and I can relate. Remember going to the supermarket alone, pushing the shopping cart forward and backward and humming a song for little children.

    Amy S
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was at a party once, humming and rocking back and fourth, before I realised my mum was holding the baby.

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    Elsker
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Funny, but i feel for the poor overworked mom:(

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rare, funny moments like that stick with you forever. I cherish these gifts.

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have twins & am very happy about it.

    Xenon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This made me actually laugh out loud!.

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    #5

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Enlee Jones
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cobra Chicken is my band name.

    Skid Marks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So how does it make you feel knowing this guy doesn't like your band?

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oxford Dictionary, 2024's word of the year will be "Cobra Chicken" aka see goose, please XP

    Lyrica Melody
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It makes a lot more sense in the original version, where the guy encountering the goose was Indian and might have actually been familiar with cobras. A dude from Mexico isn't going to describe a Canada goose --a very common species that overwinters in northern Mexico -- using a reptile from the other side of the planet.

    Ode
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My reading is that ths is a joke even though the story seems to suggest that he said so because he didn't know English. Could be that he didn't know the word, could equally well be he did but was too annoyed to call it a goose. And in this case, people from all continents can make jokes about cobra chickens

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    Clover
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now THIS is the best one so far! Ha ha cobra chicken. 🤣

    Jossh Nine
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Canada Goose....not Canadian goose.

    Chairman Miaow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my friend might be annoyed a goose got citizenship before she did.

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    Der Kommissar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd like to take a gander at that goose

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great name for them, but if you just say "Eh, hoser", they will be chill.

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The angel Muriel's description makes me laugh. "You know, loud cross ducks."

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    #6

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would assume that I have just used up all the luck in my life and everything will turn downhill soon after.

    Fullo Shit
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw this on TV .He was on the phone nearly crying,telling his wife that they won again.

    arthbach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm just wondering. If this had happened in the USA, would those winnings cover his medical bill?

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously, what are the odds of a trifecta like that?!

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, wow! Lucky guy. Good for him and his wife.

    Partycat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is also lucky to have lit moustaches!

    Mrs Irish Mom
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahhh in them 14 mins god gave him the keys to a happy ever after and may he cherish it

    John George
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people have all the luck.

    Zaphod
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think how much money he'd have if he bought another 250,000 scratchers!

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    According to that study by Milek and her collaborators, the type of social interaction hardly matters. The important thing is that just being around people makes you happy. Alex says that it might seem slightly counterintuitive, yet it is true. 

    "You don’t need to be having deep conversations, you don’t need to be having witty banter, you don’t need to be 'out' to get the benefits of being around other people," the researcher explains. "It really is just about being in other people’s company, even if you’re just talking about what frozen pizza to make while you play video games."

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    #7

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try to prevent OP developing foot in mouth..

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably trying to stop OP making the same mistake they did!

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    Agfox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife was going to a Mother/Daughter thing with our eldest daughter who was in the 3rd grade at the time. The teacher greeted the couple ahead of them by saying "Oh, you've brought your grandmother, how nice". It was the child's mother...

    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was a late baby All my childhood I remember saying ... she is my MOTHER NOT my grandmother. Back then women over 40 did not have healthy children

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    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We play a game in some of the trendy hot spots, Daughter or hooker. For context where I live there are some very wealthy people.

    Fussy1
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love this game! Please tell me you play for money!

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    Mr. Nurse Man
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d buy that tech a box of donuts.

    Papa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was at the hospital with my mother a few years ago. She was 17 when I was born, and I probably look older then I am (this will be important later). The doctor came in the room, looked at me, and said "Are you her beau?" She has to be the only person who's used that word in the last 50 years.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In hospital, a middle aged man playfully chased a little girl. A woman said: grandpa can't catch her. He said he's her father.

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glaucomflecken? Can he please be an ophthalmologist?

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is indeed an ophthalmologist XD (...and a comedian, lol.) His real name is William Flanary.

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    Son of Philosoraptor
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My ex-wife was four foot eleven blond and blue. I had the bald/goatee look. More than once got mistaken for daughter. Ex almost shanked a server when a child's menu was offered

    Emie N.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did you mention her hair and eye color? What does that have to do with anything?

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    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had people think I'm my husband's mom, ngl...

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I met my friends I put my foot in my mouth and said something about her son. He was not. He was a husband- ex now.

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    #8

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL! "Flesh chandelier" has been successfully added to my insult vernacular! Many thanks!

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was named after a chandelier (my name is Crystal), so this particular phrase and imagery makes me want to die a little XD

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    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was no ballroom for the chandelier and its bulbs

    David Green
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beautiful phrase. Here we would be worried about the budgies escaping from the smuggler.

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the use of "the ol" as if flesh chandelier is in everyone's lexicon.

    Skp2MyLou
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not gonna lie.... This is easily the funniest thing I've read here on BP or anywhere else.. I will never be able to get flesh chandelier out of my head for the rest of my life!

    TheDragonPSA
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sia sure won't want to swing from that one.

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flesh chandelier, another added term in my vocabulary.😆

    Janet Sparrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't he supposed to be wearing a cup? This happened to me sailing once. Gross! I'm

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else think of that "friends" episode with Phoebe's boyfriend who would wear underwear

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    #9

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now Yogi Bear calls himself "Smarter than the average tourist!"

    Highball
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smart bears? I remember a story my parents used to tell about camping in a national park, maybe in the 40s and they had just installed new inground garbage holes with large cast iron covers that were too heavy for the bears to open. They had a foot pedal for the tourist to open them. Well, it took one night for the bears to figure this out, and the cast iron covers kept the whole camp sight awake all night banging away. They went elsewhere the next night to get a good nights sleep.

    Jude Laskowski
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to camp often at Yosemite in the fall and winter. You'd be amazed at all the people who left food out on the picnic tables, thinking the bears were all hibernating. They woke up to no breakfast.

    Son of Philosoraptor
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was there in the 70s during the great man/bear war. First folks banged pans together. Then metal dumpsters got put in the campgrounds. Then we had to use wire to shut them. If you backpacked you had to put your stuff up on a high slender tree branch or it would be gone in the morning

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Must be a crazy looking Venn diagram

    Anna Wu
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://www.npr.org/2019/12/08/786135746/a-new-effort-in-argentina-seeks-to-make-spanish-nouns-gender-neutral

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    Danvers and his colleagues did make a quite interesting discovery in their 2023 study. "We do find a sort of 'tipping point' of 75% or more of your time alone starts to make you feel lonely. Below that, it doesn’t seem to matter as much. So if you hate socializing but still manage to be around people for more than four hours a day, you’re probably going to be OK, or at least not feel lonely," he says.

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    #10

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For clarification, I don't believe it was the bus driver who complained. It was some nosy as*hole woman who is apparently so racist, she applies it to dogs.

    Lupita Nyong'heaux
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it was. i think the bus driver might've kicker HER off the bus.

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    Bean
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We're being racist to dogs now too?

    SuperChicken
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know, right? What the heck? How far will this stupidity go?

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    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wasn't the bus driver. It was another passenger.

    LadyVischuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone knows that there are 4 types of labs. Black, chocolate, yellow and meth.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Labradors actually come in three "standard" colors: black, chocolate (brown), and yellow! The expression of the gene that controls the amount of pheomelanin in a yellow lab means that a "yellow lab" could be any shade of "yellow" ranging from the lightest shade of cream to "copper red". Dilute genes do not exist in purebred labs, so a so-called "silver", "champagne", or "lilac" labrador is not a truly purebred labrador, as the dilute gene had to be introduced by outcrossing.

    Jackson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had the same problem about 15 years ago boarding a plane. Idiot claimed that a large white standard poodle could not be a hearing dog. Then, he claimed that I did not need a hearing dog because I had hearing aids.

    Brandy Gray
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since no one else has mentioned it.. Why the hell does it say $10/lb pork supplier at the top of the text messages?!

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Obviously a cheap male prostitute. Only 10 bucks for a pork pounding. /j

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    parmadillo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Everything is black, Karen, I’m blind!”

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    #11

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Rae Rory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine was clowns coming out of my closet in the dark, but toilet snakes is a close second, now.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do not know why you are hating on gay clowns but ok.

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Legit. All these years you thought you escaped and then BANG a wedding lurking behind the door. Nightmare.

    Jeff White
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a guy and I am also more worried about the vagina attack.

    OmMi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun fact: a snake did come out of toilet and bit the flesh chandeliers of a man in south africa once. It took him about 30 minutes to break free.

    Fussy1
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Up vote for using the phrase of the day!!

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, that first person is really living in a bubble of like-minded people, if they actually think that that is every woman's nightmare.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Marriage IS the nightmare and toilet snakes are a close second. Both involve undesirable things near your vagina.

    Manic Mama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell me you've been to Australia without telling me you've been to Australia. I grew up in the middle of nowhere with a toilet down the back yard ... every visit was a potential adventure. That said, the snakes in the toilet can happen in houses too.

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in Germany, we don't have toilet snakes - It's still a fear for me that I regularly think about.

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    Louise Clarke
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My biggest fear is either losing my Mother or a fire iny house.

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    #12

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Kobe (she)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is ok though. You make at least the kids and parents aware that not all dogs are equally pettable.

    kazuha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always tell little kids my dog bites so they don't pat them, but I feel super s****y about it now.

    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Getting pets from strangers can be very scary for pups. Your job is to protect your pups, not please other people. Don't worry about it. I do the same thing.

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    Andy Frobig
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had three cats: one who would go about his business no matter who was around, one who would be in a stranger's lap or around his neck five minutes after meeting him, and a third cat who would make strangers think I had two cats

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This falls under the "honorable white lies".

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was jealous when my cat let aunt see her. Aunt even had the time to tell kitty: you're so chunky and pink.

    Keara Cochran
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard

    Laura Gillette
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did the opposite. Friend came over and my cat flopped over in front of her demanding belly rubs, and she was like, "OMG" and I was like, "I'm glad you're enjoying this, but she does that to everyone" and she was like, "oh. I thought I was special." I mean, I'm sure you're lovely, I just have an attention addict cat

    Maisey Myles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang- Now I will question everyone that says their pet loves me

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    Alex says he himself is not immune to the struggle of going out and socializing. He has some advice for us other couch potatoes – try managing your expectations. "I have to remind myself too, that being around people usually feels better than you expect when you’re just sitting around on the couch at home.

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    "It can feel like a lot of effort to get out, but it tends to be energizing and mood-boosting once you actually do. So if you can get over the hump of getting out of the house – or getting on the phone and calling a friend to come over to binge-watch something – it’s usually worth it."

    #13

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm non-binary." Spanish: "We don't do that here."

    Laura M D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Persona no binaria or persona de género no binario. Easy

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    sadmrguna
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the same in all languages that have grammatical gender. The fact that English doesn't have gendered nouns is actually an exception.

    Nadine Debard
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not in French, because even though we have a gendered grammar, the adjective "binaire" is the same for a man or a woman. So is non-binaire.

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    Sky Render
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is actually a movement to develop non-binary terminology for gendered languages, and Spanish is one of the ones where the effort is especially strong. I believe they're using -e instead of -o or-a endings? Haven't looked into it in a while.

    Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Must take a lot of effort to overhaul an entire language.

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    Masha(they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a spanish non binary, we say no-binarie

    tameson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is sad and hilarious at the same time.

    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I woke up the house laughing at this one

    Mermeow Overlord (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The amount of hate speech that appears whenever gender is mentioned makes me sad.

    CrunChewy McSandybutt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A Mexican friend of mine said there is a movement afoot to use the "E" ending for non-gendered nouns. e.g., binarie [by nar EE ay]

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    #14

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Vasana Phong
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kindergarten Cop: my fav-‘my dad looks at vaginas all day’ (OBGYN Doc)

    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That movie was hilarious!

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    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My roommate's grandson (8 or 9) told his friend at school that "Nana was in prison." The school called her mother in and asked her to talk to the boy about lying. Great Nana said, "What do you want me to do? She is in prison."

    Lupita Nyong'heaux
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wonder why the teacher assumed the kid was lying, especially these days...

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    Sunny Day
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My boss was diabetic. After fighting with insurance for a couple years, he got an insulin pump. His 6yo daughter told her teacher that he had diarrhea and had to get a pump attached to help him.

    shawn mckinney
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was driving a school bus after a winter storm. The snow was wet and heavy which caused tree branches to bend. One branch hung very low in my lane and since there was no way to go around it I drove slowly so it would brush my windshield and the top of my bus as we passed. Just then one little kid yelled ' Cool! I'm going to tell my mom we hit a tree!'

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfiltered and confidently incorrect. Love, love, love kids at that age!

    arthbach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend has been working as a midwife in London, and hadn't been speaking much Welsh whilst there. When she returned to Wales, she managed to tell people she was a prostitute, not a midwife. There were quite a few raised eyebrows.

    Pam Page
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Dad was in Vietnam and for some reason, I thought that meant that he didn't have a job and that we were poor.

    The Doom Song
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother used to say "the f*****g troller" my mum would jump in with "he means the fat controller" you know from Thomas the tank engine

    Jessica Isaacson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son ran into a dining room in a restaurant to announce he wanted everyone's f***ing cookies. Took us a bit to figure out he meant fortune cookies.

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A preschooler told me his father was released from prison. Another told me drunk father broke TV. This year 3 girls talked next to me, one said she wanted to share a family secret but the other girls couldn't tell anyone even if they stopped being friends. Fortunately they left before I heard the secret.

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    #15

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the guy with the cocaine pizza narrowly avoided a panic attack.

    Satan Laughs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That comment. Your comment… it’s gold!

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    Jaya
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Takes notes. *always bring pizza when smuggling drugs*

    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I imagine giving him a treat in this situation would only serve to reinforce the pup's pizza perplexion.

    Nay Wilson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t say I blame the puppy for his reaction. Pizza is life

    Alchemical Princess
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So if you're smuggling drugs you should always carry pizza to confuse the dogs 🤔

    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reinforces the behavior. It's now a pizza-sniffing dog!

    Der Kommissar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What gets me is that drug dogs that were taught to sniff out cannabis had to be retrained in some US states to not sniff out cannabis.

    Sans Serif
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe they just relocate them to a more backward location...

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    Zaach
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Drug-sniffing dogs do not get treats - they get to play (

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The word "treat" does not inherently mean food/a literal dog treat. "His treat" could be a moment of play with his toy, as you said, or it could be a scritch behind the ears, etc. We often say things like "That vacation was a treat!" It's not always literally edible.

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    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And this is why the dog is confused.

    Jon Steensen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...and now the dog is trained to find pizza as well.

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    But what about socializing on the Internet, on social media? Doesn't that count? Danvers agrees with the idea that I offer – that people who might never want to go out can be very social online. "My take is that we have a fundamental human need to feel connected socially to other people," he reflects.

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    "Interacting with other people, whether in person or via text online, is rewarding and engaging. One of the major differences – online socializing can be a lot less cognitively demanding. It’s just easier to post on social media than it is to hold an actual conversation in person."

    #16

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    That One Nerd
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg. I love this. I recently moved to Italy as a teen and don't speak the language fluently yet, and I wish it was this easy, but high schoolers aren't as into karate 😩

    Janis Hudson Wise
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahhh, if we all just practiced this technique the world would be a better place.

    Kurichfield
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    good karate kids

    Sans Serif
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe, he's just pretending not to speak English...

    #17

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but did you order in an Ancient English dialect that is surprising to hear anyone speak these days?

    HelluvaHedgehogAlien
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thou shalt not hath thy ice-creame. Ice-cream machine is brokene

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    DB
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was in the AirForce in West Germany (yes, that was a while ago) I practiced until I was confident I could order my food at McDonald's in perfect German. First time I tried it the cashier returned with my order, gave me my change and said "thank you" to me in English. Clearly I wasn't fooling anyone.

    Anyone-for-tea?
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That guy is great! I’ve seen loads of his videos on YouTube, he did one where the staff kept trying to talk to his friend who looked Chinese, but pretended to not be able to speak a word of Chinese, and he was translating everything for his friend. I love how shocked everyone always is.

    Kristi Winkle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    xiaomanyc is his youtube name! it's fun to watch how many languages he actually speaks!

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    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many foreigners speak English but not very many learns Chinese.

    Pollymere
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could probably order food in Cantonese. My biggest hurdle is getting people in places like Hong Kong to talk to me in anything other than English.

    Ralph Watkins
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked with lots of linguists who were good at simple translation & transcription. One girl with blue eyes, fair skin, & curly blonde hair was a Cambodian linguist. I was at one of the local Asian markets & saw her in with a group of Cambodian women just jabbering away like she grew up there.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah but this is special because we do not expect people in his demographic to speak anything BUT english, so that he can speak something else is in itself amazing. As the joke goes: what do you call someone who speaks only one language? American. Five languages here, south african.

    Ania Vernon
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oop. I am a foreign exchanged student living with my best friend that moved from Poland, I went to the USA and went to live with them in Utah and we went to 'Cafe Rio' I think it's called and I am fluent in Polish (duh) and speak like a little bit of English and ordered perfectly and they gave me a free meal so idk I guess it depends on the place? I am fluent in English now and live here now so...

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    #18

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Milady Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That must have been a popular show and tell for the teachers!

    Ansi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to an interview with Henry cavill the nephew told the kids in school that his uncle was Superman and the teacher confronted his mum after school that "the school didn't condoned the kids telling lies" and the mum had to confirm that yes, actually he is. It was a hilarious story. Good thing he came with the receipts.

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    Sarah K
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The look of absolute determination on that kids face 🤣🤣

    Claudia Conway
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly it's a piece of internet glurge - Cavill has told a story that his nephew did get in trouble for claiming his uncle was superman after her got the part, but Cavill never went to his school with him, this picture is just from a day out Cavill had with his brother's family and is unrelated.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love how happy this little boy is going to be!

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The "I'll show her" energy of this kid is unmatched.

    TheLadyMagic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I understand the look on that kid's face. There is nothing in the world worse than being called a liar, when you are not. The teacher didn't realize it but she was actually bullying him. He's getting justification to him for his being bullied. Something similar happened to me when I was much younger and was going to a civilian School that wasn't particularly close to a military base. I shared a heroic story about my father, and the teacher said that that was untrue because "colored" soldiers were infantry and that she was sure that if my father was in the military he was a hero but he wouldn't have been in the position to tell his men anything. My dad and some of his fellow service members came to my school for show and tell. This was in 1973.

    DumYum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teacher had a plan: try to meet Cavill in person.

    Printerman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only way that could have ben better is it he's have worn a "Spirit Halloween" Superman costume.

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    "What I think people often don’t appreciate," he goes on, "is how complicated and demanding social interaction really is. When you see a comment that doesn’t resonate with you online, or that seems too complicated to deal with, you can just skim or skip over it."

    #19

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    ️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    as it should be, if the dog (or cats but cats dont really care for anyone) dont like you, then we have a problem bud. edit: guys 3 cats own me. i am speaking from their experiences and many cat memes i have seen.

    Lama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's with the tenacious myth that cats don't like people? Most cats I know are cuddly little angels. They get stereotyped for showing autonomous thought.

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    Lucy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My rescue bit a guy I was dating so I broke it off. She knew, dogs always know.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, that's a bit tricky if it's a rescue. The dog of my sister was afraid of men because her ex-husband mistreated her (The dog). She would bark at any man and be very defensive, took some time till she learned to trust me and be happy when I show up

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    Smiley MG
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give that man some pets and smooches.... His mind is in the right spot

    Marley Nachi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah, of course he was talking to the doggo

    Erica Cochrane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh yeah, if i ever brought a guy home and my dog didn't like him, the guy would be out of there. my dog likes everyone. so if he doesn't like someone, then there has to be something really wrong with them. also the dog comes first.

    Printerman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Man's got his priorities right, though.

    Happy Homemaker
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An acquaintance asked how come my shy dog doesn’t let him pet her, I said she’s just shy is all. Later my friend was petting her and said, “She lets me pet her, why won’t she let John Doe pet her.” I told him it was because she’s a good judge of character. He couldn’t stop laughing. 😂

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    #20

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think with images and words, so when speaking it comes out as "I was thinking that if we remove..." *hands flailing around in shapes*

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an engineer trying to explain something to the marketing and sales, "poor at articulating" is more in the line of that Im bad at the concept "explain it like I'm five".

    PlatinumThe8-BitCat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is basically me, I am terrible at explaining or describing things

    Paul Brown
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have trouble expressing myself verbally. I can express myself better thru writing.

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, people trying to say it as exact as possible, gets stuck in a long sentence and gives up halfway through.

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    Bubs623
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not an engineer but this is me. I can write a perfectly articulate, well reasoned statement but for the life of me, I cannot tell you verbally, with actual words, pretty much anything. I don't just hate talking in front of groups, I hate talking at all

    Kare Deter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So glad to feel this is normal.

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a job once translating engineering jargon into clear language for the workers so they could build what the engineers really wanted.

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    #21

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    nomnomborkbork
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice to know it was memorable to someone else too.

    Pam Page
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My beautician mentioned that she was from Washington. I said "No kidding, I was born there AND I can still remember our address". I gave her the address and said "that's my home address". For years, her parents rented out a one-bedroom apartment above their garage.

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a friend fall out of the upper level bunk and right on top of another guy watching the game. He got a bloody lip but the guy that fell walked away clean. Always check to make sure there's someone to break your fall before falling. Pro tip.

    David Albro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel that breaking 3 out of 4 appendages from falling out of a bunk bed is excessively abnormal. Like looking into bone disorders abnormal.

    Jason
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell that to my back that gets thrown out from sneezing too hard

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    Joshua David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...she said she was sober he he.

    Ania Vernon
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents both cheated on eachother with eachothers siblings and now their divored and I live with my dad and aunt and mom and uncle

    Meredith Parker
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Three angels came to me while driving through a canyon in Colorado at 1am. They broke out of the sky making night become bright day and they hovered over my windshield staring at me and I at them. I pulled off the road. Then they backed up into the sky and it became dark night again. I thought I was going to die that night, but here I am, many years later.

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They'd never believe you, leave you sitting there & stick you with the bill.

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    Socializing in the real world sometimes demands more confrontation. "In a real social interaction, if someone says something that doesn’t resonate with you or that challenges something you have been thinking about, then you can’t just skip it. Just going blank in a social situation doesn’t work; you need to actually find some way to respond," Alex adds.

    #22

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Mark
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you take shooting, fencing, and sailing as your electives in MIT, they’ll officially reward you with a certificate in piracy

    SadieCat17 (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hah I practically already have one of those! Oh wait you mean like the ocean-

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    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's never too late to get an education.

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they get shurikens instead of gold stars.

    Maria Maria
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can anyone resist a degree with such great and diverse employment potential.

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    #23

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pavlov walks into a bar, orders a beer, and takes a sip. A bell rings, he bangs his fist on the bar, and exclaims, "Now I gotta go feed that fuc*ing dog!"

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every time my 5-month-old puppy goes pee, he will then run over to me at top speed, sit at my feet, and stare up at me with the very clear and obvious expectation of a treat. XD Teaching him "go bathroom!" worked TOO well XD

    Papa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard heard of people who put the new cat outside when it would scratch the couch, in an attempt to get it to stop. Instead it learned to scratch the couch to let the people know it needed to go outside.

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of an old Robotman strip when Monty proudly say "today I taught my dog to sit" and then we se the dog tell his dog friends "today I taught some dude to give me treats".

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Positive conditioning can be tricky that way...

    pineapple87
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is why you don't house train pets using treats, but simply verbal praise

    The Other Guest
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "It was an almost Pavlovian response. (footnote: A term invented by the wizard Denephew Boo, who had found that by a system of rewards and punishments he could train a dog, at the ringing of a bell, to eat a strawberry meringue.)" - Terry Pratchett, "Jingo"

    Solido Objectivo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty much any Terry Pratchett reference is a good day.

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    Flora Porter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The dog I walk sits down and refuses to walk with me till I call her so she can get a treat. Still got a way to go with this reward thing.

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    #24

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Nay Wilson
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s a heck of a view 😂

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Uh-huh. Oh! What's that, buddy? Another school bus? Yeah, school just started so they're everywhere! Shhhh-shhh-shh! No, don't bark at the kids, they're harmless..."

    Sherry Moore
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww my little doggo had dementia and would do this 😔

    RedFoxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OML I JUST SNORT LAUGED IN CLASS 🤣

    mcdonalds french fry (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bc of this post, I now want to ask my blind bsf if she likes looking out the window

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    There’s also the element of timing in in-person social interactions. "People respond with different facial expressions, tone of voice, body posture, etc. It also doesn’t stop when you’re not the one talking," Alex observes.

    "Conversation involves a lot of back-channeling while the other person is talking, which can really set the tone of the interaction." He gives some examples: doing things like saying "uh-huh" when someone is explaining, or nodding in agreement to a statement.

    #25

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Blatidae
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is this 'we' you speak of? YOU can do all those things. Whereas *I* will be drinking wine, eating what I want and sleeping to 10am on *my* holiday. Thanks.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Who are this 'we' you speak of?" But I agree.

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    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Expensive rehab for rich people do be like that

    UpQuarkDownQuark (he/hey you)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “You’ve won a free trip to a luxury hotel in a tropical paradise! You’ll be waking at 5am—“ “No, thank you. I’ll stay home and work.”

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't wanna go to rehab, no, no, no.

    Tyranamar Seuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so funny bc I work at a rehab and it's exactly like this.

    CF
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wish my rehab had been fruit and beach yoga..

    Steve Hall
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take a suitcase full of Imodium with you, you'll need it.

    BrownTabby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My buddy my pal, I already had to wake up at 5am for my flight.

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    #26

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    J. Norton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhhhhh! I was kayaking once and a seal plopped up on the front, cute as can be. But, since I had been warned by officials (that I rented from) that it was a federal crime to touch/harass wildlife, I was frantically going "Shoo, shoo, oh aren't you cute, shoo, shoo!"

    CouchChihuahua (He/Him)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "MISTER J. NORTON YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR PETTING A SEAL, ANYTHING YOU SAY WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU AT COURT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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    Pasej
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank god for the red circle

    Claire Collymore
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends on their color - it’s only the navy ones that are dangerous.

    Anyone-for-tea?
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s what I was going to say, no need to worry about the grey or brown ones!

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    Fynne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seals are so bizarre though. Like their literally waterproof cats

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, they're water doggos. Everyone knows they are water doggos XD

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's a team of six you should probably get away fast

    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make sure holmes is not trying to escape 5 killer whales.

    OnlyMe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seals are cute. Can be a bit scary. But don't ever get in the way of a sea lion.

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    #27

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That fish looks hella confused.

    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love the dog's face!

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He is really thinking “what the actual fu..?”

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    David Albro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That isn't a photo bomb. It's a photo escape.

    SnackbarKaat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He looks like one of those singing fish on a wall

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should win some sort of prize.

    Bored Retsuko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like the idea of fishing at all but this did make me laugh.

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    In-person communication is harder because you have to get the timing and tone right. You also have to balance different types of verbal and nonverbal communication.

    "Compared to real, in-person interaction, the kind of text-only interface of Reddit is really flat and simplified," Danvers tells us. "Just talking to someone in meatspace is a demanding task. I’d think of online socializing as sort of the 'lite' version," he concludes. 

    #28

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Paul C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still think of them as a Marathon....but I'm old!

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here! And the same with Opal Fruit, Jif,

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    Earl Grey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My SIL is in a nursing home and heavily medicated. Her son noticed a string of fast food purchases on her credit card, so he asked the station nurse if they ever take her out for food or snacks. No, of course not. Card was cancelled immediately. Some time later her diamond ring was stolen right off of her hand, and clothing “disappears” again and again. This sort of thing is pretty commonplace, but catching the thieves is not.

    martymcmatrix
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's like in today's penalty system...the prisoners, who are now called residents, are NOT allowed to own the following → mobile phones, alcohol, drugs, weapons, weapon-like objects (deodorant + lighter = 🔥), but in the cells, booze is distilled from bread, everyone has a fully functional mobile phone, procuring drugs is no problem at all, a fluctuating barter trade has been established. ...many things are outsourced to external service providers, such as laundry, food supply, garbage collection......and this is exactly how the things of the »Earthly Delights« get in there...the times of nail files in crumble cakes are long time gone! 🙋🏽

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    George D
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How people ruin careers over trivial but HIGH RISK actions blows my mind.

    Flora Porter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A snack might seem trivial but theft, safeguarding, financial abuse of a vulnerable person and serious professional misconduct are not.

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    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guess what the vending machine was out of...

    Joshua David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did anyone notice? I know hospital vending machines cost more but still less than 7 to 10$?

    Ria C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From what little I remember she used it other places too and since the charges were after the death the family looked in to it.

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    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No telling jaw long she had to hold his hand until she could get a bite to eat.

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    #29

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Brainmas
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would name him Anakin, Anakin Pugwalker.

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happens to the poor pugs if they accidentally nudge the mannequin and it collapses onto the ground, arms and head going hither and yon? Did anyone consider THAT?!

    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww, this is actually so sweet

    Mike Fitzpatrick
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I thought this would work I'd do it in a heartbeat so my little Sadie could be chill about my leaving.

    Jules
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's so sad and so sweet at the same time. Poor doggies 😍😍

    Uncle Schmickle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great idea. I should tell it to my neighbour with the damn nuisance dog which barks when he's at work !

    Your Local Weeb
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have separation anxiety too, when summer break started, i always pressed “Video Call” in my friend GC

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    #30

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once wrote, "sexual favors" on the "For:" line of a check I sent to pay my doctor. At my next appointment, he and the nurse entered the exam room *with the check* in order to make it clear to me that they personally saw them (along with any jack-assery that I came up with) and that they weren't amused... 🫣😱

    J. Norton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus, you think?? How unbelievably inappropriate can you be?

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    Fynne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then everybody clapped

    David R.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You made a dentist appointment 8 years in advance??

    MrPractical
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, they’ve been calling him that amongst themselves for 8 years and he just found out about it.

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    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my friends sent out cards to each of our mutual friends before their child was born, asking what they would like the baby to call them. One of my friend's husbands chose Your Majesty :)

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can choose what to be called? My dentist always used my name.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would like to have been in the waiting area when this happened.

    Your Local Weeb
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ‘What would you like to be called?” “Your Local Weeb” *At the dentist* “Please tell the dentist that Your Local Weeb is here”

    Son of Philosoraptor
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worked for the county. Full waiting room. They'd announce the next client called. Overhead PA booms out: F*k Kwok! F*k Kwok! Room busts up. I meet the family. Wife's name is Duk. Almost had a stroke holding it together.

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    What Alex says next really sticks with me as a chronically online person: "That may be nice to do when you’re feeling tired or burnt out, but it’s also not going to give you the full experience of connecting with another person. To have really satisfying connections, you do need to put in the effort of navigating the more complicated world of in-person interactions."

    #31

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Although it's not nearly as hilarious, I used to have a cat named Wintressia. (Pronounced "win-tress-ee-uh". In my defense, I was 16 when I named her.) Every time I took her for a vet appt, the techs would struggle with her name. After a while, I was like, "Win. Her name is Win." XD Now, I only have to deal with telling the new staff members that BOTH of my dogs are named after characters from the book Dune. Fortunately, thanks to the 2021 movie adaptation, I don't have to explain why my favorite book is a scifi novel written in 1965. I'm a nerd. I'm sorry. XD

    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After our dear Mitzy (whom I was the one to name), passed away. So, my mom found a cute puppy and it was her time to choose the name. I’m having to figure how to put my last name out there without saying it. Say you were in a ROW boat and you accidentally hit your KNEE. I will print said words for you to say I tell you the dog’s name full name. Here goes! First name is Pepper. Last name is pronounced ROW/KNEE. Now put those three words together and say them fast. At the vets, when they would call her name to go to the exam room they called out for “Pepperoni”. Or it at least sounded like they were. Oh my mother dear 🥰 I miss your humour most of all.

    RuffianLivesOn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work in vet med, and by far my favorite name was Dr. Baby Giggles, PHD. Don't be embarrassed to give your pets comical names!

    My O My
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! We love those names!!!! They make my day!

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    Sebby's Mama
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom's dog is named Casserole. Hearing a tech call his name in the lobby and watching everyone's face will never stop being hilarious

    SpongeBob SquarePants
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The vet seems exhausted with my dog's names. Echidna, Molag Bal, Mehrunes Dagon, Killjoy, Ludac.

    DelvianBlue
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's okay. I once had a cat (1994-2018 😥) named after the Lord of the Rings character Eowyn. Until the movie came out, nobody could pronounce her name.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our first dog was called Scrotty. Definitely not Scotty

    LadyVischuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Captain Jack for a one eyed barn owl. Yes, we take him to the vet too.

    Uncle Schmickle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Dad called a couple of our cats " Ponchielli " and " Boccherini " ... he was into Classical music !

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    #32

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I punched a SHARK for YOU! mic drop convo over

    WindySwede
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really hope it was not in 'Shark Tank'.. /s (Also hope they all were OK!)

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "What did you ever do for me?!" - "Well, one time..."

    Sherman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have to divorce him because I am not listening to him say "I PUNCHED A GREAT WHITE FOR YOU DEBRA" after I ask him to pick up his damn socks for the 60th time.

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is so much better than to say "I would catch a grenade for you". I would just be worried if my wife would say that and be sleepless wondering what she knows that I dont, and make a list over who and why someone would throw a grenade at me.

    Your Local Weeb
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ‘AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME?!’ ‘I punched a f***ing shark for you’

    Isaac Harvey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If a shark can cause chaos in Texas, and not just Florida, that doesn’t bode too well for future Florida and Texas People.

    #33

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

    x__antisocial_butterfly__x Report

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least you didn't go, "HO, HEYYY, HO, HIP-HOP HOORAY..." and completely date yourself.

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That would have been my immediate go-to response. Complete with arm wave. *facepalm* It's impossible NOT to once you've got it in your head.

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    Joshua David
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My partner of 11 yrs is an executive account manager and I'm very organic, artsy and a hairstylist. So once I saw something online, walked into his office full force singing in soprano which doesn't sound like soprano at all. I stopped, saw him talking and then heard someone say "what the hell?" Now he has a do not disturb sign for me 😟

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I am asking Pandaverse: Anybody wanna come and take a Ride Wit Me? We be 3-wheelin in the fo' with the gold D's. Oh why do we live this way?

    Kim Shannon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously! You both deserve a raise!

    D00FINSHMERTZ
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm afraid that reference is very dated these days as as well. How time flies...

    I heart Boo-BI-es
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No lie, I'm currently sitting in my car smoking and as I'm reading the comments this song comes on the radio in my car.. I took a picture but idk how to add a pic on BP??

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she talking currency, or art ?

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever happened to Nelly? He was all the s**t back in the 00s and then poof he's gone

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    #34

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Peppy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your names’ Alley, right? Alley, Cat?

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    The Redhead
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love the things kids say. Orderd a pizza one evening (my daughter had just started potty training) she proudly ran to the door lifted up her dress & said to the delivery guy 'I have new paw patrol panties". He was silent for a moment and then awkwardly said "umm nice". When he left I explained to my daughter while we know she's excited about her big girl panties she can't run around showing them to people.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this! From now on I am a feral female.

    Flora Porter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apart from holidays, this must be why people choose to teach primary school.

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    #35

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Choice of words is very important

    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am either getting old - or working hard to be more innocent. It honestly took me 30 seconds to get the joke - and I used to play the game - facepalm

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Game? My mind totally went elsewhere. What game, please?

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    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honey mustard sauce, curry sauce, smoked chicken breast, salad, onions, bacon, tomatoes and pineapple. Now you can start the hate

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On Tumblr someone wrote one of the guys in Supernatural was a sub, another person asked: sub? Like a submarine?

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "THAT'S NOT WHAT WE MEANT!!!!"

    LuckyL
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a sex thing - dominance (top) and "sub"mission

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    RedFoxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dominoes should jump on this bandwagon.

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    #36

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You heard it, it's mathematically proven!

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't want to take the discussion off on a tangent here, but Mr. Woodman, would you cosine a loan for me?

    Midnight (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm hungry enough already. You don't need to torture me more.

    Brittany
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never liked math more than right now.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Often comes up in conversation.

    Sheila who?
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well then come co-sin a loan on a car for me, smartA$$.

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    #37

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Nina
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asian elephants are more chill though, African elephants are more agressive.

    loranthippus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poaching + shared memories = appropriate aggression

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    tw 72
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are BOTH incredibly adorable!!!!

    RedFoxx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Indian elephant has more hair, just like Indian kids (including me I guess)

    Your Local Weeb
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m desperately trying not to laugh

    Janice Sanz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This depiction, and drawing, are right on.

    Kayleigh haigh
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww just look at those big earsand butter wouldnt melt look compared to other one whose sibling has kept him up for 4 nights straight

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    #38

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    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hilarious. I woulda snorted trying to stifle a laugh.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that's why I couldn't work in such job, I would've burst out in laughter

    just me
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just a note for anyone who finds that's in that situation for the first time: clarify what the word was. A young kid came up to me saying they're friend said the f-word. I went full into discussion/consequences for cussing in school. Kid got really upset: "I'm sorry. I didn't know fart was a swear word!" The s-word can also be stupid or shut up.

    Courtney Christelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In preschool my son once slapped another student and called him a d*uchebag for destroying the train tracks he was building. Teacher had a hard time keeping a straight face while she told me about it. Swear I have no idea where he heard those words.

    Pollymere
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had a student say another kid had used the R word about them. We always check. Apparently the kid had said the other one was "Wrong".

    Tamara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Students at kindergarden? 🤨

    RuffianLivesOn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh, yeah? Kindergarten students. Do you not know what Kindergarten is?

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    #39

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids, dont look out through the windows! It is blowing PG-13 winds today!

    Lex <3 (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damnit, I spilled water all over myself from laughing so hard >:(

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine if BP starts censoring very bad weather as well. Oh no, it is r**ning c*ts and d*gs.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tornado = [Twisty wind], Thunderstorm = [shiny boom], Rain = [water fallings] - I would keep on but the laughter would [unalive] me

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am sure it is so that climate change denying republicans do not get triggered.

    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wasn't there a flying cow at one point too?? Haha

    sunnxflowerr.zip
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i mean, can't argue with that..

    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "That's right, weather! Show me just how BAD you can be..."

    Pollymere
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    UK would probably have "Contains scary scenes and peril". I'm not sure if that's better 😂

    Delta Dawn
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    these days that should get a trigger warning

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    #40

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    James Frail
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gonna nod off to some "it's not you, it's me" now. Maybe a little "this isn't woking."

    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorite has got to be "there's somebody else"

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    David Paterson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's worse than that. Whale songs are pick-up lines. You're falling asleep to pick-up lines.

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel so sorry for that whale that sings in the wrong pitch.

    Alyssa Phillips
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He found someone that sings in the same frequency not too long ago! Happy news!

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    David Green
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh shoot, now you tell me. Both my kids were born to the sound of whales. Explains a lot.

    Pandapoo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whale to other whale “you’re too fat!”.

    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... In the future, some Aliens might fall asleep to the soothing sounds of space, listening to Hitler at the Berlin Olympics.

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    #41

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    don'tcensorstupidstuff
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so mean tho... imagine u were the mom or whoever this person is. i'll admit tho, i doubled over in laughter. i needed that

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    cat
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why would the person who has your child not have your phone number saved (edit: typo)

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe a new phone or spare phone, number not saved yet, or maybe a new babysitter.

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    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the situation when even an introvert calls, not texts.

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    #42

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤣🤣🤣 This is the best joke on here!

    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But seriously, the improvement when a patient receives blood is incredible. They look like death, then suddenly return to life with pink cheeks.

    Stephanie Barr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Donated blood saved my son's life. More than once.

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    Kel_how
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "No hemo" as in hemoglobin (blood) instead of "no homo." No homo (as in homosexual) is used by heterosexual men when doing something they deem gay.

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    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't wait for my next donation appointment

    #43

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest, I also hate too much PDA. Kissing in public is frowned upon here where I live. I don't care whether they are men, women, trans or whatever.

    Sonja
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here. I'm not against 'normal' kissing or warm hugs, but the obnoxious smooching and grabbing each other in public can stop please. And I tell everyone who claims I should just look away to touch grass. There are things that simply shouldn't happen in public. Smooching that borders on sexual acts is one of them. Full stop.

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    Courtney Christelle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Polite kissing is fine but I don’t want to see any tongue in public.

    L. Murphy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's awesome! I agree! Get a room.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People started worrying about same-sex kisses on TV a few years ago, and I kept thinking what difference does it make? I always felt uncomfortable watching a man and a woman kiss, now suddenly you want to censor it or put it on after the watershed because it's 2 men or 2 women.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If more women would kiss in public the world would bet a better place.

    David Paterson
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Jealous. Always jealous.

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    #44

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    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are the images of the husband all fuc*ed up from wrestling the cat into that thing? There should be blood EVERYWHERE!

    Rostit. .
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its an orange cat. they dont care. chaos is acceptable to them.

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    Der Kommissar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it is used for harnessing puppies

    Nadine
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yea, she wanted to tell us about the cat.

    Isaac Nemo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where's the rest of the shirt...? Or does that harness thing attach to existing shirts...?

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So happy you posted the pic of the harnesses actual use. Mad me all gooy, inside.

    Leslie Donsen
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #45

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A librarian from birth? That's how you get 20+ years working experience those jobs ask for entry positions.

    Phred
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of us are born librarians. Anyone named Dewey, Elsie, or Enellem has a head start.

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    Brainmas
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what I love more, "she had no horses but thought she did," or "she sang like a bird and looked like a bird and Brenda was a bird." Heartwarming.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm quite fond of "In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life." XD

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    Pretty Pink Sky Photography
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t stop laughing. I’ve read it so many times.

    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "In lieu of flowers, send Brenda more life." I would if I could, I wanna meet Brenda

    PlatinumThe8-BitCat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve seen this picture many times before and I just noticed that she has an extra pair of eyes

    ️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IM S******G BRICKS RIGHT NOW 😂 IM SORRY I KNOW I SHOULDNT LAUGH BUT PLEASE 😭 SEND HELP 😭

    Mark
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See you all in 1977, don’t forget your life!

    Roland
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looked like a bird? ✅ Sang like a bird? ✅ --> bird. Game over Brenda, we all know your secret now

    Marnie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of a few years ago when my son read AI-generated recipes while I was cooking Thanksgiving dinner. The best recipe called for "10 cubes of water, lightly sauteed".

    Binky Melnik
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, christ! I had JUST changed into dry panties when I saw this, and now I hafta change again ! I hate you! (I spose I should prolly go to the bathroom before changing again; my fault, I spose. Pardon me.)

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    Kevin the Manager
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find Brenda to be a kindred spirit. I have no money, but I think I do...

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    #46

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either way it's the experience of your lifetime

    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just don't eat the food or you might really die.

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    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is on him for leaving out the word "are". The letters left are: s, y, n, w, l, d!, o. She needs the r she already used to make it work.

    LadyVischuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laughed so hard my asthma kicked in. My family enjoyed making me laugh like that and then playing keep a way with my inhaler. They loved me, right???

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    #47

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kaspersky bans things so weirdly. I couldn't even search up about my period

    INGI
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooooh. Scawy, scawy periods and vaginas!!! I hope you found the information you were looking for <3

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, it is a forbidden knowledge. If they learn how to read, they will become self-aware and cause a crab uprising. I don't want a crab overlord, as crabs are just too delicious for that.

    RabidChild
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is this forbidden knowledge? I support crustacean literacy!

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The crabs will soon learn what happens when they get the sauna pool treatment and start fighting back! Ah c*r*a*p! XP

    Unstable Mushroom (they/them)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we just not gonna talk about how the kids name is “Stairdrac the Netherwatcher”???

    Sans Serif
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was going to bring it up but, Kaspersky wouldn't let me...

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    Cyber Returns
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The crab wars were so bad that it was agreed to lobotomise the crabs (they lost) and the human race were to not to record anything about it and never talk about it lest it happen again. This is why you never give crabs knowledge

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    CRAAB PEOPLE https://www.southparkstudios.com/video-clips/guqeh7/south-park-crab-people

    Mark
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They’re too young to remember the great uprising…

    Amy Moore
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We have no crabs! Go teach the cat to read instead!"

    Steve Hall
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the kid's screen name is "Stairdrac The Netherwatcher", he can search whatever he wants.

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    #48

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't even do step one, guess I'll never be happy

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me attempting to complete Step 1 above is how I started my struggle with drug addiction, sadly. Don't do drugs, everyone. NOT worth it XD

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    Janice Sanz
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smile for no reason. It will infect you.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It may be too late for this dude, however by being positive you can alter your thoughts so tone happier. Up to you.

    Senjo Krane
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The empty mind is a happy mind.

    CharliAnn Olney
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I deleted my thoughts re: my first response, because the thought police would arrest me for having thoughts

    LadyVischuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think about lightbulbs?? Then I'm delirious with joy

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    #49

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Deanna Crichley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First. I have this hat. My mom lost all her hair during cancer treatment. This hat was on her Christmas wish list, and I bought it for her. She loved it. She wore it in the hospital when things were getting rough. She did die, and the family made sure to give me that hat back. Sometimes I think I'm going to wear it to remember mom, but I usually just take it out and hold it, and think of her.

    Brandy Gray
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well that's..sad. I lost my grandmother, dad and found my mother dead in bed all within 6 months. Humor helps.

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    Ash
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    omg i need this pattern...

    April Pickett
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so cool. If ever, I would like one.

    LadyVischuss
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grandma has a whole new side gig. More cash for the commissary at the home.

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    #50

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    Don Adams
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sales plummeted in 2002 seems people had little desire to have another tower fall....

    TrickQuestion
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to unload trucks at a retail warehouse. One Christmas season I was unloading and a wall of toys fell on me when i removed the wrong box. It was all cases of Jenga. I couldn't even be upset.

    axisgaymtf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tbh i thought they were making a 9/11 joke...

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    #51

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Bottom class"? Well. yes, I suppose those people are very willing to be taught..

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    #52

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    Marie BellaDonna
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember being at the circus when I was a very little girl, I think on a school field trip, because I think I was sitting with a bunch of other kids. Anyway, the elephants came out, and one of them pooped, and the smell went through the whole arena in a wave. We were all giggling and squealing "Ewwww!!" Lol.

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    #53

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    GhostlySnail (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad does this every single time I text him. He thinks it’s totally normal

    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we ( parents) keep hearing how bad we screwed up. I like telling my son how proud of him I am and how much I love him ( I did not hear it enough from my parents)

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    J. Norton
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ,Sweetness....♥️♥️♥️

    Nugget
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So sweet. Treasure him!

    #54

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have, well :), aged.

    PattonPawter
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine would read... you've aged like milk

    #55

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is similar to how I found out I was adopted, actually XD I was snooping around in my parents' rolltop desk when I was 7 and found a Polaroid photo of a woman holding a baby. Written on the bottom was "Rose and Crystal, 1982". I was like "wait........... MY name is Crystal. Wait, *I* was born in 1982! But WHO IS ROSE???" I ran to my mom with the photo and asked "Hey Mom, who's Rose?" XD Turns out Rose is my biological mother and that was the only photo taken of us together, as I was adopted at birth.

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom decided she was adopted when she was 11. She went to city hall and asked to see her birth certificate. She wasn't adopted.

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    keyboardtek
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do I buy a used spacecraft?

    Nikole
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid, on every birthday my dad used to tell me that this was year my real parents - aliens - were coming back to get me… In retrospect it was funny?

    Mark Wilson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    build a sentient spaceship and leave it in the storm cellar

    Milady Blue
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THAT explains those odd photos I found after my Dad forgot to lock the attic door that time!

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    #56

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Son (a bit older) told me to be careful - he was the one to pick out my sanitarium. Now he is at the point where it is - do I want an amazon box - or should he go fancy and get corrugated cardboard? ( he loves me so much - LOL)

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    #57

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idiot sandwich

    Zaphod
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I won't watch him. It is totally formulaic. Always, "this is the worst thing I have ever tasted" followed by "I fixed it!" Just an A**hole, like John Taffer on Bar Rescue

    Nikole
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently the guy from Restaurant: Impossible is a huge jerk. He seems so nice on the show :(

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    Pasej
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that a*****e and don't know why people like him. He's a screaming abusive bully.

    I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/she/he)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Look, I don't watch his shows, but I'm like 99% sure that the Gordon Ramsey everyone thinks of is more of a character than his actual self. I've seen him on other things, like his daughter's shows and all that sorta stuff, and he's actually a decent bloke.

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    #58

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    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the idiot that was concerned over the damage a sledgehammer might do... Then I realized I'm an idiot. Haha dang it

    #59

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ^ It's a reference to a Dolly Parton song that goes "Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm begging of you, please don't take my man" XD

    Zobi123
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, people in TN can get Dolly Parton plates???

    Kelly H. Wilder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, and it helps fund her Imagination Library which sends every child a book a month from birth until age 5. 👶 💙 📚

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    #60

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Trillian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At what school do they sit somebody down with old test results to recalculate??

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone with a grudge they've carried all through their own secondary education for becoming school administration :p

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    Ava
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have nightmares about this same situation, but I was top in my class and graduated 25 years ago. Not sure why my subconscious mind wants to worry about this.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. All the time. I graduated from high school 30 years ago!

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    Stephanie Barr
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend who moved to a new school and they wouldn't let her be valedictorian because she was "new" so she stopped going to school, arguing she already had her scholarship, which she used to get a degree and didn't care she never got a diploma.

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's what I don't really understand about American schooling, you get college acceptances before actually graduating? What's the point of going through to the end of the year? In Australia (or at least my state) we do our end of year exams and get our school certificate and leave school, then we wait about 1-2 months for our results to come out. Then a month or more after that (while still n summer holidays) we get our university offers.

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    Tam StaR
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I transferred HS and they thought my Art credit was a science. I was debating them and then stopped. Just got me out of another science class and had to take art instead. Winner winner.

    Gardener of Weeden
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the 1970's I failed the constitution test. I was told I would not be able to go on to High school and would have to repeat a grade... I was terrified - but it was never mentioned again. Not in High School Nor in College. wonder if they are going to come after me now?

    Adrian
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What was the outcome?

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    #61

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    Dan Flo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    7 if Jackie Daytona show up.

    James016
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s what they do in Tuscon, Arizoña.

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    Fynne
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    First, how old are you?

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    #62

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    Tsdey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same, who does not want a dog that will make accidents?

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    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm forever scarred by the family I worked for. They had a dog called Daisy, but I discovered they spelled it phonetically: Dejzi! God, no.

    #63

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    kazuha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    imagine being drunk and having to walk down this monstrosity

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bruh, I couldn't do it while stone-cold sober XD I'm clumsy af.

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    Devil's Advocate
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rugs don't kill people, patterns do...

    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have to scrooch down on my butt. Clinging to the bannisters. Weeping loudly.

    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rise of the carpet tiles

    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just looking at the photo triggered my vertigo

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    #65

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    Tuesday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait how is the first post in December and the second's in November, I'm confused

    Strahd Ivarius
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    different time zones, perhaps different planets

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    U_dontwanttoknowme
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And set it in the hard level, so you might play like a pro!

    Frank Ropen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No need to force her to any color. Open a chess app, choose the same color as her and play the computers move to her while you play hers to the computer.

    Shira Blumberg
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The point is that white always goes first, so she has to be white in order for it to work (she has to go first so the computer is playing the same game)

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    #66

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do believe that what happened is, your package fell into the ocean

    eric riggs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once ordered something from china. I firmly believe that the reason it never showed up was that it must have similarly fallen into the ocean (along with who knows how many other cargo containers of stuff, I suppose) ... they sent me a replacement that arrived about 10 days later, though.... even though china isn't far from me (in japan) that might be too quick for a sea voyage... but I can't think of any other explanation that makes any sense.. it wasn't a valuable package.

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    Ali H M Salehuddin
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was not a rare occurance. There were a quite a few cases of shipping containers fell off container ships during heavy storms.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not even rare that this happens, statistically 4 cargo containers get lost on sea per day

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    Powerful Katrinka
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FedEx: We know where your package is, but we're not going to tell you!

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    #68

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kinda hate this post whenever I see it. What does any of this have to do with feminism? Is what she's trying to say that he just wants an old fashioned dude, or that she's just too lazy both for paying and finding a better suiting word? Also, stop expecting others would pay for you, we are all adults and not ticks.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think she thinks that feminists believe women are Strong™ and Independent™ and Don't Need No Man To Pay For Their Meals™. So, she was hoping that the guy WASN'T a "feminist", because she was too poor to pay for her OWN meal. So yes, she wanted him to pay for her meal.

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    Nosirrow
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only polite thing to do is for the woman to offer to pay for herself. It's safer bc otherwise the guy may think he's being owed.

    badger
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I follow you on Twitter - looks like you'll be going home hungry".

    Pasej
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    Kioh81
    Community Member
    Premium
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well that escalated quickly

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    #69

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    Pasej
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Pathetic

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The boy, on the other hand, looks like he has all the confidence and self esteem that Hart apparently lacks.

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    #71

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last scene: Just hat, nothing else

    VonBlade
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stuff like this ALWAYS makes me laugh. Attention to detail. Go the extra mile. Commit to the bit. Too many modern comedies feel that if the people doing it find it funny, so should I. No. Deadpan > Jimmy Fallon.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So Batman has the Batarang while Sheriff has the Hatarang? XP

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    #72

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    f*g (or fach in German, or Vak in lowlands dialects), means topic or subject. So it literally means data subject.

    Verena
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dutch ..., which is no dialect but the language spoken in the Netherlands. Same in Flemish, language spoken in the northern part of Belgium. Maybe you mean the local dialects of northwestern Germany?

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    SadieCat17 (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I personally identify as a datafag thank you very much

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    #73

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    PFD
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bored Panda censoring pass now

    les
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its ok, they missed c**t up above

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will start preparing my a**.

    #74

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    kazuha
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh no this brings back traumatic memories of my dr phil phase in 2nd grade

    #75

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Passerby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, having 99 potions, 99 ethers, 99 phoenix downs, and 99 elixirs before the final boss, in case I need them, and proceeding to use none in the final fight.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me at age 41 after playing video games for my entire life: Eff this. I don't want to work this hard any more. I just want to enjoy playing. ::downloads Cheat Engine:: XD

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    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been playing a game for about three years. A year or so ago they added a reward system, where you got certain things for playing for however many days in a row. Only yesterday did I even work out how to redeem/use those rewards! One I had 97 of! Still only using them on the levels I hadn't been able to get top score on.

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Common Resident Evil knowledge: You save all your 60 magnum bullets in case there's an after credit bossfight and not for the actual bossfight

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    #76

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure why you got downvoted. That's pretty clever; I hadn't even noticed OP's name XD

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    #77

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    ️ ️~ lefty libra️ ~
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that is not vin diesel- THAT IS NOT VIN DIESEL *CONFUSED SCREAMING*

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's apparently from a 2006 movie called "Find Me Guilty". I don't want to live in reality any more 😭

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    #78

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy Sunday Pandas, let's get some loaves

    Fynne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy Monday pandas let’s get some BUNS

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    LavenderHippoInAJar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay maybe I don't know slang but I'm very confused. Can someone please explain?

    juice
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bread is slang for money, so it means "let's get this money" but it's also just used as an encouraging phrase.

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    Bhadrika Love
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So toast is when you've only partly burnt through your money?

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    #79

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    xWILTED_ROSEx
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yes 95 is a great number becuase 9x5=45 and 4+5= 9😍😎🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 and 9 is the best number

    Couriva
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They were so smooth with it too

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    #80

    Antisocial-Butterfly-Memes-Jokes

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    PlatinumThe8-BitCat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do people actually like jokes about 9/11? I’ve heard kids at school make jokes about it but I thought it was just because they seem to like making f****d up jokes

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll bite the bullet and admit I do like them. But not because I find some glee in people's deaths. The funny part is the American hypocrisy - they treat it as the biggest tragedy in the mankind's history, use it as an excuse to push extreme nationalism, invade people's privacy and terrorize the Middle East, all while there are much worse atrocities happening every single day, many of them perpetrated by Americans themselves. During covid, the 9/11 deaths happened every single day, but nobody gave a damn and the government did nothing to prevent them.

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    INGI
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously? Was this really a thing? Jesus.

    INGI
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I googled. Unreal. The movie wasn't making fun of the bomb. It's a historical fact. There have been PLENTY of 9/11 movies and jokes, that for those of use who survived it and lost people, cause massive pain. But I can't imagine turning around and poking fun at the most painful thing in the life of the director or whatever. This is gross. Shame on Japan (and no, I know not every Japanese person supported this. But it's disgusting).

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    Bhadrika Love
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Go find The Onion from right after 9/11. Absolutely brilliant - funny while being completely in tune with all that had happened. I think it was nominated for a Pulitzer, but couldn't win because it wasn't actually journalism. But absolutely amazing.

    Fynne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow not bp censoring the word analysis but posting this

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