“Kody, But Spells It Chode”: 35 Names That Are Practically Asking For Trouble
Interview With ExpertBefore naming our cat, my partner and I debated for weeks about what we should call him. We thought long and hard about what name perfectly suited his personality, made extensive lists, asked friends for their opinions and played around with different options to make sure we chose the perfect one. I can’t even imagine how stressful it is to name a child. But apparently, some parents have no problem choosing names that essentially beg bullies to target their kids.
Redditors have recently been discussing the absolute worst names that children can be given, so we’ve gathered the most egregious ones below. Enjoy scrolling through this list of names that nobody should ever use, and keep reading to find a conversation with naming expert and founder of Namerology.com, Laura Wattenberg!
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X Æ A-12.
That is a crime against humanity. It looks like a porn channel password.
And dad looks like the channel's proprietor.
Load More Replies...I also wouldn't name my child after some South African conspiracy theorist who buys a social platform to spread his own twisted lies.
I almost screamed when I scrolled down and was surprised by his ugly mug (probably would've if I wasn't in a classroom full of sleeping toddlers...) 💀🤢
Meconium.
She heard nurse say it at the birth and thought it pretty. The definition is "a baby's first stool, usually black and tarry in nature, to dispel mucus and other embryonic matter." 🤦♀️.
The woman deserves prison and her name changed by court order into Turdy Hardstool.
I wanted to call one of my dogs 'Nugget' because she was a little shite... Maybe this was the same thing?
Colostrum is something different. It is the first milk.
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Latrina.
this is like that Character in Robin Hood men in tights called Latrine the when the Sherriff asks her about it she says she changed it to Latrine it used to be s**t house
I once had to make a collection call to a Latrina. Me and my colleagues were dying of laughter everytime I called her name
It does actually sound like a nice name if you don't know what a latrine is
To learn a bit more about names and how to choose a great baby name, we got in touch with naming expert, founder of Namerology.com, and author of The Baby Name Wizard, Laura Wattenberg. Laura was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and remind readers that, thankfully, most of the names on this list are simply hypotheticals. "Even most of the claims of, 'I met a kid named…' are urban legends!" she noted.
The expert also says it's important to be empathetic when discussing names. "When it comes to real names, it’s always worth remembering there’s a real child attached. Don’t be too quick to insult a name, even online," she noted. "The child WILL find it, and it will hurt."
Neveah!
Have some f*****g creativity!
“It’S hEaVeN bAcKwArDs.
BRB naming my child Natas.
There was a post yesterday about twins who were adopted. Their names are Heaven and Nevaeh.
Came to say the same. My friend had his signature board during the satanic panic in the 80s. It was a hoot. Also bought weed from a guy who was in a band called Drol si Natas.
Load More Replies...Neveah at least spelled like that, is NOT heaven spelled backwards
YES! I hater this name. Just say to yourself, "does my child's name sound like they're next to be swinging on the pole?" If the answer is yes, then do not name them that!
Foreigner. Given to an impossibly white kid in very rural Oklahoma. He and his brother Journey had strange parents.
The parents were considering Metallica and Megadeth for their twin daughters - but decided to go with Queensryche and Iron Maiden instead
But---there are so many people with this name! You hear about them on the news all the time.
They didn't list the other siblings names: Boston, Saxxon, Winger, REO Speedwagon, and Def Leopard.
I was about to say! Is Boston a boys or a girls name?
Load More Replies...This makes me think of a tv series I watched that had twin boys, born in the 80/90s whose names were Jethro and Van
I knew a child named, I kid you not, Cl*toris. They pronounced it Klit-ress.
Did someone read the BP article about someone wanting to name their kid Clytemnestra and decided "Why bother? Let's just name her exactly what it sounds like but forget the "To"? -_-"
Clytemnestra was an ancient Greek woman, wife of Agamemnon.
Load More Replies...I knew a pair of twins: VA-gina and pi-neaise. I'm serious about the phonetical spelling
My mom used to work for child support enforcement. She told me once about a little girl named Chlamydia. Her mom said it sounded so pretty.
Oh poor kid. Guess it's a good thing being in England as they can refuse certain names so this would be refused, I hope.
When it comes to bad baby names, Laura says there are two kinds: "names that are not what the parents intended, and names used as a weapon."
"Parents occasionally choose a name not realizing the way it will come across to others. They may not know a word or a cultural reference and are blindsided by people’s reactions," the expert noted. "It can even come down to a matter of spelling, like Analie vs. Anally."
A lady I know named her son Kody, but spells it CHODE.. which means something completely different, imo.😂.
Basically equivalent to UK's "Bell/end". It's a vulgar male genitalia name to describe a dumb, uneducated and annoying person.
Load More Replies...LOL that is so stupid 😂 do his parents not know what a chode is?
My coworker named her baby "Orgasm".
What can be worse than ‘orgasm’ and then you make this comment.
Load More Replies...Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands…
Load More Replies...I have never been so happy that Germany has laws for names like wtf and I thought Lillyfee was terrible
"Why is my sister's name Rose?" "You know, your mom really loved roses..."
Oh dear God in heaven that should be on the list of illegal names and the parents beaten senseless for it
Just like with license plates there should be certain words/names that are just not allowed and rejected
Candida - I know girls with it and I know it is wrong of me but can only think of thrush.
It just means "shiny white", super common in Roman and Medieval ages. It's now rare but it used to be common -both in male and female form- in Italy, France, and the Spanish speaking world. It also came to indicate someone as naive after the famous Voltaire's "Candide", leading to a decline in France, while a play by G.B. Shaw gave the name a decade of resurgence in the early XX century anglo-saxon cultural sphere.
Also the root of the word 'candidate', from the colour of the togas worn by the Roman senate.
Load More Replies...Not that I've heard the Tony Orlando song 'Candida' in a long time, but I do sing 'Yeast Infection we can make it together' when I think about the song. lol
"The rarer case is names chosen maliciously," Laura says. "For instance, I’ve heard of instances of a husband insisting on a particular girl’s name, only for his wife to later discover it was the name of the woman he was having an affair with. Then there was the family that chose Nazi names deliberately to upset people. No child should be used as a weapon."
I was a camp counselor. One of the campers there was a girl named Beanz.
That will be the title of her first "movie" when she's an adult.
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Pubert.
Princess.
Not the absolute worst, but I don’t think I could ever take this person seriously. Please don’t give children names that you give pets.
I currently have a coworker named Jingle. She's lovely but it took a while to get used to the name.
At one workplace, we were trying to hire someone for a part-time, level entry position. We called an applicant whose name was Princess. Whoever picked up claimed to be her personal assistant, which did not help any first impressions we already had.
I personally don't think titles as names are good names. For example, Empress. Sounds tacky and a little like they should be on stage for all the wrong reasons.
I once knew an absolutely lovely woman named 'Princia'. She had changed it from Princess, and wanted to keep her initials. She felt the name her folks gave her would hinder her career.
I worked with a Princess and she was older than me and I'm Gen x
Princess is a common name in the Philippines, so it may be a cultural thing, as opposed to just an odd name.
But the good news is that, even if you truly hate your name, you can always have it changed. "More adults are changing their names than ever before," Laura shared. "Your name is your identity in word form; the way you’re presented to the world. If you honestly believe yours doesn’t represent you well, changing it can be a reasonable choice."
Any name that is an expensive item. Rolex, Cartier, Mercedes, Diamond. Those are just str*pper names.
Mercedes is/used to be (?) a traditional Spanish name. One of the engineers/founder used his daughter Mercedes' name as his nickname in motor races, and eventually it was used not only for the driver but also for the car brand.
Mercedes still is very common in Spanish speaking countries. It's an abbreviation of "Maria de las Mercedes", i.e. "The Mary of Piety", a form of the Virgin Mary with large following in Latin countries.
Load More Replies...I've met women named Tiara. Not my first choice of names but not terrible
Load More Replies...The well-known author Mercedes Lackey would dispute your point. Or actress Mercedes McCambridge.
Mercedes Mone might want a word with you (IYKYK). She might very well demand a word with you at this rate XP
There is a boy in a middle school class where I work. His name is Bentley.
It is a fairly common surname of English origin. Sometimes surnames are used as first names.
Load More Replies...If we're naming kids after expensive things I want to see "truffle", "mortgage", and "student loans"
Void. Could never write or cash checks with that name.
They're mostly dead here in NA as well. But as a homeowner, I have found that contractors generally want to be paid by check. They don't want to pay card processing fees, and they don't want their employees handling cash. "Contractors" meaning the plumber, the fence builder, the appliance repair guy, et al. My opinion of the situation doesn't matter; that's the way it is.
Load More Replies...Imagine the ominous sounding sentences that would be uttered referring to them. "Is void coming? We are waiting on Void. Welcome, Void. Void come here. Where are you Void"
Hey, there’s the movie “Enter the Void.” If you’re on something, it makes the experience of watching it even stranger.
Load More Replies...That's ok for a pet, like a black cat, but a PERSON!!?? Seriously..
Lawr’ryn and Lylyt Yvyh Yryhl (read as 'Lilith Eva Uriel').
I automatically started reading this in Welsh, and quickly came to a crashing halt.
I had such a phase as a teenager. Gave characters names like "Cyathy Myrcya", lol. Grew out of it.
Apostrophes denote missing letters (don't instead of do not) or possession. I'd be inclined to ask what letters are missing from that name.
The Abcde trend (absidee) has got to stop.
A couple (or more) years ago there was an article on BP about a woman who got all offended when an airport worker laughed at her daughter's name, Abcde. The woman said that it was pronounced 'Abcity', which makes no sense at all but is an excellent name for a gym.
I remember that! I would struggle to contain my laughter too so it's good that I don't work in a public-facing job. I mean, I'd feel bad since it isn't the kid's fault her mom is deranged.
Load More Replies...I just met someone who named their dog Askem. What is your dogs name? Askem..ask them.. I think that is fun, for a pet.
Yeah but it's an easy way to remember your password 😀
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DOLPHIN. A girl at my school was named Dolphin.
"Delfina" used to be a common girl name in Italy, and still is in France in the form "Delphine". It is quite peculiar in the fact that it has two coexisting branches with two distinct origins: one from the Roman family name "Delphinus", meaning "From Delphi" (the OG in Greece, not Indiana's cheap knockoff); and one from a corruption or "Adelphinus", from "Adelphos", meaning "Little Brother", a name that used to be common among early christian communities.
I'm watching a show set in France right now with a character called Delphine and wondered what it meant!
Load More Replies...delfina is still super popular in some places like Buenos Aires and stuff. I've met five so far
Better than many others on this list. Maybe Aquaman is the proud dad?
She'd date a guy, class him up a bit, and then switch him for another guy and repeat. Got the nickname "Flipper".
If she went to my high school, with the classmates I had, I hate to say there would be more than a couple "blow hole" jokes. I once heard a guy in science class tell a girl "You must be a toilet seat, cause I like your a*s". Santa Class High did not have the smoothest of gentlemen
I was once drunk in a Taco Bell, waiting for my order at the pickup counter. The employee comes over to announce the next order, goes to read the name on the bag, double takes.
“…Adolph?”
This m**********r walks up, head in shame. The employee literally said “that’s not funny” as the guy was trying to seriously explain that was his real name.
I think about that man often.
Errr, yes, and? You want to ban every name that's ever been used by a bad person?
A boy in my school in germany had this name "because it was a family tradition ". He hated it and was always called Adi.
Pretty sure it’s illegal to call your child that in Germany these days. You can’t just choose any old s**t here.
Load More Replies...It did used to be a common name, shame one a*****e ruined it
I have a friend whose stepdaughters name is Isis, like the Goddess, but people always attribute it to the terrorist group. Kinda sad cause it's a beautiful name.
I once had a black cat named Isis. She was named after Gary Seven's shape-shifting cat from the old Star Trek.
Load More Replies...I'd be changing that one. I know it was a completely normal name, but just like Adolph's favorite symbol was formerly a harmless Hindu peace symbol... it sucks that it's ruined for everybody, but fairly or unfairly, people are going to take it the wrong way, and having to constantly explain that it's not *that* kind of reference is going to get old quick.
Adolfo Acosta is a hugely talented trumpet player.
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Moe Lester.
Watched the IT Crowd the other night, there was a guy in it named Peter File
The IT Crowd is great! That serie and Arrested Development. I laughed my a*s off watching them!
Load More Replies...I knew a girl in college whose last name was Hunt....and he actually had a brother named Michael...She was totally serious, she really had a brother named Mike. I honestly don't think it occurred to her what that paired w/ Hunt. She was from a tiny town somewhere in Northern Maine so quite sheltered and naive.
My husband has a friend named Mike Hunt. He's real.
There was a cop here with that name and he really was one
Load More Replies...I had a student by that name, but on the school PA he was always referred to as "Michael".
I remember a girl going viral for naming her daughter C*ntley.
My wife wanted to name our first child Fán̈ñy. I put my foot down. She was not named f***y.
Are you guys in the US or elsewhere? I think this makes a difference given the US has f@nny packs whereas meanwhile Aus, UK etc would stare at you like you’d sprouted an extra limb.
Load More Replies...And as we've learned here and elsewhere. do not name your son CLINT.
I knew a Clint in high school. Have no idea what happened to him.
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Naming a kid *anything* that sounds like a joke—like "Brick" or "Banana"—is just setting them up for a tough time. Imagine going through life introducing yourself as “Banana”... nah, that’s just cruel. Keep it cute, not crazy!
When considering a name, I always imagine what it would look like on an election ballot or roster of corporate board members sign.
Brick isn't as bad as Banana, but it's basically setting them up to be in the military.
Never had children but have 2 dogs. My German shepherd mix is Zoe which means life in Greek.
When deciding on a baby name, stand out on your back porch (or out your back door) and yell it a few times and feel it out.
as non english native, the name of Brick Heck always puzzled me....
Opponent of my son’s hs football team- Aero Smith.
It's also very, very probable there's someone named Lincoln (Linkin) Park.
Lincoln Park was a real place in Santa Monica (it's now called Christine Emerson Reed Park). Linkin Park is sort of named after it.
Load More Replies...There is a road in rural Ontario named after a local farmer, Harry Dyck. The road sign for Harry Dyck Road kept getting stolen. So they epoxy'd the sign to the post, and it remains to this day. True story.
That sounds like the small town "F.u.c.k.i.n.g" which was renamed to Fugging a few years ago.
There is a local gynecologist named Harold Beavers. I'm not joking either. I guess Harry's profession was predetermined from birth.
That's like the Ernst Wanke road in outer Melbourne (apparently pronounced Wan-kee)
Should be twinned with Twatt in Shetland (been there!)
Load More Replies... New Hampshire had a representative named D**k Swett (representative from 1991-1995 then served as the American ambassador to Denmark from 1998-2001).
He goes by Richard now.
Yup. A common nickname that just didn't age well
Load More Replies...Stole SOOO MANY of his campaign signs when I was in college. Your dorm just wasn't complete without one.
at school: "is mr. Swett here? mr. Swett D**k? is Sweet D**k here?" :D
Did maintenance at a teaching hospital for a while. Passing through the Maternity ward, I've seen Tarzan, Puma, Aquanet, and my personal favorite... Brunhilde.
And can be shortened to Hilde. I've heard that name.
Load More Replies...Brunhilde is a name from mythology and I’ve heard of people in Nordic/germanic countries with that name, so I think it’s far less weird than the others.
Brunhilde is real... for the others, I think Puma is the one I mind the least, as long as the intention wasn't to name the kid after the shoes.
I know 2 women named Griseldis. Used to be common in Germany..
Load More Replies..."What did you expect in an opera? A happy ending?"
Load More Replies...Brunhilde is an Old German name that means Battle Armor or Battle Maiden. Sounds pretty cool to me.
Names I have came across over the years teaching…
B***h (no joke here)
Princess
Chlamydia
Shacked.
My friend is a teacher and she once had a student named Majestic Fox. That was the kid's first name.....
I could live with that. I'd nickname myself Mags or Fox.
Load More Replies..."Chlamydia, chlamydia, have you got chlamydia? ..." (with apologies to Groucho Marx)
My great grandmother was named Crucifixa. Gotta love Italian Catholics back in the day.
The correct form is "Crocifissa" and is in line with a lot of southern Italian religious devotional names such as "Addolorata" ("Painful", similar to Spanish "Dolores"), "Catena" ("Chain, shacked"), "Assunta" ("Assumed to heaven"), "Consolata" ("Consoled from pain"), "Veneranda" ("Venerable"), "Pia" ("Religious") etc. It's also a common name assumed by Nuns when they get ordered.
We have an Italian client named Immaculata and I thought that was a pretty cool name.
My great aunts were named Immaculata and Conceptia! Yes, Italian, from Italy, 1890s.
I knew Sister of Mercy named Sister Eucharia, she took the name from Eucharist.
I know someone who is called Inma (= short for Inmacolada / immaculate) and another person called Asuncion (ascencion ). Apparently, that's normal in Spanish speaking countries. But then, Jesus is a perfectly normal name for boys there, too.
MLB player from 1979-1985 - [Rusty Kuntz]
I had a teacher with the last name Kuntz in high school. Pronounced with the short U sound like c.u.n.t. He was the replacement for a teacher who had quit partway through the year, Mr. Woody
I don't get the problem with his nam mabey last name, by the way there is an actress name rusty schwimer
The problem here is that most english speaking people pronounce names different than their origin. You probably read "Coonts" like me, but it is "C.u.n.t.s" in english. Just remove the dots as censorship is ridiculous as ever.
Load More Replies...Bort.
When I went to Universal Studios those were available at the souvenir shop in the Simpsons themed section.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of the story about a girl who wanted to name her daughter Blessica. But then she married a man who's last name was Blimpson. She decided she didn't want her daughter to seem like a knock-off of the OG Jessica Simpson 🤣
Breadquanda.
Yeetidity.
For a boy, Sue.
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him... Bill or George! Any damn thing but Sue! I still hate that name!
Nah... This is cool.... Also dated a guy named Kelly and had an uncle Stacy
Brilliant Dutch version by Jan Rot ("Wat een rotnaam") (I've plugged this before): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ77xlDqTPQ
I learned from one of my teachers that it used to be pretty common for men to have the middle name "Mary". It was meant as a form of blessing, "Hey, holy Mary, we named our son after you, please protect him". Same reason my mom's middle name was Mary.
Very common in Spain, Jose María for men and Maria Jose for woman. Maria and Jose had to go first under Franco. Eh, my GF Luisa's name on her ID is Maria Luisa. Normally abriviated to Mª Luisa.
Load More Replies...On the other hand.... it is perfectly normal to choose a boy's name for a girl. Why is it ridiculous if it's done the other way around?
Soda
Seven.
I did spend a little while referring to the kids by the Borg designation. The eldest was 1 of 4, the youngest, 4 of 4, etc. "1 of 4, have you seen 3 of 4?"
Load More Replies...No comments about The Outsiders here? Because I immediately thought of Sodapop, the middle brother!
"Seven" is actually a girl's name in Turkish. It means "One who loves".
I heard a women say Sierra Mist get in the car. This was before the soda company changed the soda name to Starry.
One of my classmates had a dog named Pepsi and we used to laugh and tease her for choosing that name. Can't think what made a parent pick 'Soda' for a human child
These days, Alexa.
I know a girl called Alexa who was born 3 months before the gadget was released. Needless to say, parents were less than thrille with the named being ruined.
Unfortunately, children with the name Alexa are too often bullied by classmates who think it's funny to bark commands at them. It's too bad because it's a nice name.
Load More Replies...I can only imagine how annoying that is - sometimes Alexa responds if she even hears a word that's similar to her name. A coworker has a cat with that name. They set their device to be triggered by a different word.
My SIL has a name very similar to Alexa. They changed Alexa’s name to Echo. And then there’s me who changed the name to “computer” because I wanted to feel like I was on ST:TNG, but I changed it back to Alexa because I missed the semblance of humanity. Errrr….
Load More Replies...A girl in my class is named Alexis, the teacher had to remove the Alexa
Teacher could have just changed the device's response name.
Load More Replies...TBH Amazon could have thought they through a bit better. Made up a name or just use "ok Amazon"
Technically nothing, it's a very normal name. But now it's the name of the Amazon virtual assistant - like 'Alexa, what's the weather tomorrow? Alexa, remind me to get eggs at the store.'
Load More Replies...What the fock BP? I was reading a comment of my post in an other topic and at the end was, to read more subscribe to PREMIUM. Are you guys out of your effing mind? The topic is 50 fascinating old time photos
Yup they're really pushing it. I suspect soon unless you pay you'll not be able to access BP
Load More Replies...Some countries disallow dodgy names when the birth is registered. However a few names here are fine and well used historically. I'm thinking Hortense, Dorcas, Candida.
Candida is a traditional name? Like for humans, not fungi?
Load More Replies...Back in the old days, there was a trend in my country for naming people after modern things... like Telephone, or Tractor, or Radio, or even Napkin! There was also a period of absurd communism-inspired names, such as Barricade, Brigadier, Pioneer, Laborer, etc. Poor kids back then.
Would that be somewhere like Ukraine in the Soviet era? On QI a few years ago Stephen Fry asked 'Why wouldn't you name your son Power Station?' The answer was that during that era in Ukraine it was a girl's name, while Combine Harvester was a name for a boy.
Load More Replies...I'm still mildy peeved that a friend of mine who's last name is Power didn't call her son Max.. . ;-)
1001 ways for a mother to express that she wishes she did something else with her life.
Local politician is named Thaddeus Claggett. I don't follow how he's doing in his politician position, but I'm sorry, that is the most supervillain name I've ever heard in real life!
This has to be in the Deep South... he's probably the local klan leader.
Load More Replies...I meant someone once as a receptionist and they said their name was Rachel. When I went to write it down, she got very angry that I didn't spell it correctly. How she did she spell her name? Mckenna.
I'm going to tell my cousin, Buchanan (yes, that's his given name), that his name seems pretty tame right now compared to some of these Tragedeighs -_-"
Good, I hate it when they put fake names from Cartoons or something in these kinds of lists...
What the fock BP? I was reading a comment of my post in an other topic and at the end was, to read more subscribe to PREMIUM. Are you guys out of your effing mind? The topic is 50 fascinating old time photos
Yup they're really pushing it. I suspect soon unless you pay you'll not be able to access BP
Load More Replies...Some countries disallow dodgy names when the birth is registered. However a few names here are fine and well used historically. I'm thinking Hortense, Dorcas, Candida.
Candida is a traditional name? Like for humans, not fungi?
Load More Replies...Back in the old days, there was a trend in my country for naming people after modern things... like Telephone, or Tractor, or Radio, or even Napkin! There was also a period of absurd communism-inspired names, such as Barricade, Brigadier, Pioneer, Laborer, etc. Poor kids back then.
Would that be somewhere like Ukraine in the Soviet era? On QI a few years ago Stephen Fry asked 'Why wouldn't you name your son Power Station?' The answer was that during that era in Ukraine it was a girl's name, while Combine Harvester was a name for a boy.
Load More Replies...I'm still mildy peeved that a friend of mine who's last name is Power didn't call her son Max.. . ;-)
1001 ways for a mother to express that she wishes she did something else with her life.
Local politician is named Thaddeus Claggett. I don't follow how he's doing in his politician position, but I'm sorry, that is the most supervillain name I've ever heard in real life!
This has to be in the Deep South... he's probably the local klan leader.
Load More Replies...I meant someone once as a receptionist and they said their name was Rachel. When I went to write it down, she got very angry that I didn't spell it correctly. How she did she spell her name? Mckenna.
I'm going to tell my cousin, Buchanan (yes, that's his given name), that his name seems pretty tame right now compared to some of these Tragedeighs -_-"
Good, I hate it when they put fake names from Cartoons or something in these kinds of lists...
