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These 43 Women Are Dumbfounded By Their Discoveries About Men After Living With One
Interview With Expert
They say you don’t truly know someone until you’ve lived with them. And in most cases, it is true. Once you’ve seen a person being their authentic selves at home, whether while passed out on the couch and involuntarily passing gas or having their eccentric eating habits on full display, can you get a good gauge of their personality.
In this case, a few women are sharing what they’ve learned about the male species after cohabitating with one. For many of them, seeing the genital complexities and behavioral quirks of the opposite s*x (among many other things) has opened their eyes in more ways than one.
To our female readers, feel free to share any similar anecdotes you may have. Guys, feel free to enlighten them.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I've lived with few different men and of each of them I've learnt different things, because they were different from each other.
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#2
That the right one can be so awesome to live with. Equal (and sometimes he does more) housework, things I’d drop hundreds to have fixed normally he can just take care of. I haven’t taken out trash in about 8 years. How sensitive they can be (huge bonus because I grew up being told they were brick walls and no feelings. Awful thing to perpetuate) and how supportive they can be. I didn’t know they don’t all fit into the million stereotypes they’re given. Exclusively raised around the worst of the worst, so it was constant pleasant surprises. Feels too good to be true most days!
#3
That men will wear the same 'favorite' shirt until it literally falls apart, no matter how many new ones they own.
We spoke with a few experts who provided insights on domestic partnership and how it affects relationship dynamics. According to licensed psychotherapist and relationship expert Gina Guddat, the new living situation “signals an emotional commitment to both people.”
“It lends a greater feeling of safety and security. It also gives a perception to friends and family members that it's more serious or ‘official,’” Guddat told Bored Panda.
#5
How much truth was in the joke that they can't find anything in the fridge and cupboards.
#6
I didn’t realize how much men actually value their alone time - sometimes more than you’d expect, even when living together.
Lawyer and marriage and family expert Michele Locke considers cohabitating in today’s world a “smart move.” As she explained, it allows a person to know someone on a deeper level.
At the same time, it gives them a good enough gauge of whether marriage would be worth pursuing down the line. As Locke noted, divorces are costly, which is something you would want to avoid.
#7
That living with the right man feels so warm and safe. Just resting my head on his chest at night knowing that I don't have to worry about anything was the best thing ever. I never experienced healthy love from a man except with this one.
#8
Some men don’t stand to pee at home. I’ve been married for a decade and never seen my husband pee standing besides when we’re camping, because he only does it in public restrooms. No complaints here. Cleaner bathrooms and I’ve never once complain about the toilet seat position.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
Cis male, and I prefer to sit to do my business. For one, it's a chance to get off my feet, especially at work. For another, it means I can do whatever business needs doing at the same time. Only reason I'll stand to pee is if I'm in a hurry, or I'm literally out in the woods or something. It's a nice perk, but not one I need to use all the time.
#9
Men will act like they are low maintenance, but the truth is they secretly form emotional bonds with hoodies, mugs, and random tools.
For licensed mental health counselor Ariana Orosz, LMHC, living together introduces new obstacles for the couple to overcome in the relationship. And regardless of whether or not they end up tying the knot, they will need to learn to coexist “on a constant basis.”
“A couple will have to learn to be on a similar page, or accept their partner's priorities when it comes to house chores, quality time, amount of physical touch, hobbies, and boundaries around friends and family visiting,” Orosz said, adding that financial constraints are also possible stressors.
#10
The not sitting down to eat. Just eating out of packets/boxes in the kitchen like a raccoon.
Nils Skirnir 2 months ago
For me Army training. 20 months in VN, most in the field. Plus 6 months on the German/Czech border. Then 4 years in grad school. I was 19- 27 so things learned then stick with one. Left on my own I’ll still do that at 78
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
As long as you left Nam in Nam. My father didnt. My sister's godfather didnt. Uncle Frank is still alive and paints veterans portraits in Austin. God bless you
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David Beaulieu 2 months ago
Where do you live that raccoons stand in your kitchen eating out of packets?
Day Andie 2 months ago
The d**n things haven't gotten into the kitchen yet, but I"m sure if they did they'd feed out of the cereal boxes and the bread wrappers, because they get into the garage and open up the dog and cat food bags.
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Uncle Panda 2 months ago
I always called it 'eating over the sink like a college kid.'
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Alejandro Ordóñez Villar 2 months ago
My wife calls that eating like a rat, I’m guilty as f**k
Nuku Nyara 2 months ago
Can confirm that my brother in law who lives as our roommate does this as well 🤣🤣🤣
Nuku Nyara 2 months ago
My husband snacks at his office desk in the bedroom 🤣🤣🤣
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#11
How little they seem to think about their own comfort or try to problem solve around lower-stakes things. My husband is constantly pleased and impressed by things I do around the house or for him to increase our/ his level of comfort. It just doesn't even occur to him that he can change his environment or buy himself something that might improve his quality of life. I've known other men like this too. One of my favorite examples is a male friend complaining about how hot his new apartment was getting, so I suggested buying a fan, and the look of confusion this man gave me... never even occurred to him there might be a solution to his problem.
#12
How quiet they can be.
There are also the legal aspects that people tend to overlook. According to ISU Insurance Services CEO Ryan McEachron, married couples automatically get legal protections that domestic partners don’t get to enjoy. Health insurance from employers, for one, does not extend to unmarried partners, which can cause an issue.
“I've seen partners lose everything because they assumed ‘living together for 10 years’ gave them the same rights as marriage,” he said.
#13
How much capacity for love, understanding, communication and expression they can have in an emotionally safe environment.
How f*****g infectious and amazing their laughter can be.
How they are two totally different men with you vs with others. You get to see all of their good that they'd just not care to show anyone else.
They can fart so loud...
Edit: Oh and they like cleanliness too.
#14
When my little sister moved out she texted me about how she never realized how considerate I was with our shared bathroom growing up until she lived with other dudes. The key is I rage clean anytime im mad or have a bad day I clean the f**k out of something really aggressively to calm down.
#15
How much they eat. How much it costs to feed them said gargantuan amount they eat.
That begs an important question: Does living together strengthen a couple’s relationship if they’re not married yet? According to Michelle Cantrell, LPCC, owner and clinical director of The Center for Growth & Connection, it depends on how and why couples decide to cohabitate.
“When both partners intentionally choose to move in together from a place of alignment, emotional readiness, and shared values, it can deepen intimacy and help solidify the foundation of their relationship,” she said, adding that the opposite may happen if a couple chooses to move in together because of convenience, financial pressure, or a desire to “fix” their disconnection.
#16
Maybe it’s just my husband, but I’ve never seen anyone buy so many socks. Constant need for socks. Too many socks.
#17
That they do appreciate the candles, rugs and things we add to our space that make it "home". My husband had two sets of simple cotton, gray sheets as a bachelor and now sleeps on sheets of bamboo or Egyptian cotton. He would never have bought those things for himself but he loves that I do.
#18
He's never cold. I always have cold feet, even when it's warmer outside. He serves as a hot water bottle.
Grumpy old man 2 months ago
Lol. Classic one panel cartoon of devilish looking wife waking up sleeping man with cold feet
If cohabitation is what a couple decides on for their next step, Orosz advises discussing priorities before doing so. The conversation must include the boundaries around visiting family members, date nights, even seemingly menial topics like handling house chores.
“Definitely don't brush it under the rug or else you'll be tripping over it every day,” she said.
#19
My wife didnt know you have to trim a moustache. She thought it just grows in a certain way and you get what you get. I love this woman.
#20
Most men can actually sit and not think.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
This is entirely dependent on how you define 'thinking'. My brain never shuts up, I'm always thinking about something. It just might not be anything even remotely useful.
#21
That men really aren't that complicated and enjoy chilling (im so happy he doesn't need constant attention or empty conversations) he likes his hobbies and completing tasks around the house. Somebody to be there to help you when you're down without judgements. (Unless you have a defective one, i suggest a hard reset or return to manufacturer for replacement )
Men are like succulents they're easygoing, but if you aren't aware of the things that they need to thrive, you can easily end up with a dead plant. They aren't as strong as they seem, but at the same time, they're resilient and sturdy. They have different needs for different types of succulent, but overall, they have the same basic needs.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
Given that I've managed to k i l l not one but two cactuses, it's probably for the best that I don't have a boyfriend.
Locke shared a very practical piece of advice: don’t co-mingle accounts and finances. She urges keeping everything separate until both partners knowingly and intentionally decide to combine them.
“Also – communication is key – ensuring that there are lines of communication so that each side knows boundaries and expectations,” she added.
#22
They like chilling in their underwear a lot more than I thought. I live with my bf, and as soon as he comes home, the pants come off and he just sits and chills. He says it simply feels comfortable and he feels less sweaty down there. Fair point honestly .
#23
Well I thought I knew what guys were like because I have 2 brothers, but my husband is calmer, cleaner, and more responsible. But there is a universal truth that all men love back scratches.
#24
How common it is for men to have body image issues.
Crystalwitch60 2 months ago
More common that people think , body dysmorphia is a thing in both men and women ,
Cantrell made an insightful point, and it is something she typically tells clients who are considering living together: moving in isn’t just about sharing a physical space, but an emotional one, as well.
“When one person secretly hopes that living together will fix things, or assumes it will be the thing that makes their partner step up emotionally, they’re often disappointed,” she said. “Living together tends to reveal, not resolve, the deeper dynamics already at play.”
#25
How much rejection they face before finding someone.
In the early days I was telling my fiance about the two times I got rejected and how I'm still offended. He laughed and said he's been rejected so many times he stopped caring.
#26
That they get really upset when you parkour your short a**e up to the top shelves because that's just what you do as a small person... My poor other half. I swear he thought I didn't believe in stepladders or something, and he still has a minor heart attack when I SpiderFortuna my way up the counters to get to s**t I can't reach in the high cabinets.
I mean, my dad and brother just thought mum and I zooming up the cabinetry was fine, but my man-type-person... Yeah. I've given him a lot of grey hairs over the years since living together. I like to think I make life more interesting for him.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
As a short guy, I do this. This is a height thing, not a gender thing.
#27
How easily they fall asleep. Of course some men have insomnia, but every man I've dated could lie down and instantaneously just go unconscious, on command. I've never seen a woman fall asleep like that.
Cindy Brick 2 months ago
Two breaths -- that's often how much it takes for Husband to be out. I can take hours.
Moving in together is a massive step up in the relationship, and Guddat advises getting close kin involved.
“You have to make your own decision, but people who know and love us can give us great insights around our decision to move in,” she said, adding that cohabitation is simply a notch below deciding to get married or the endgame.
#28
How easy physical tasks like carrying things are for them compared to women.
#29
Men can have eating disorders.
#30
I didn't realise how common it was for men not to use toilet paper after urinating.
I brought it up to him. He asked, "why do you think there are no toilet paper rolls at urinals?" My mind was blown. I had never, ever considered that.
#31
It feels like he is infinitely stronger than me. When we play fight and play wrestle, I am like a helpless, weakling against him. It really makes me resent those women's self-defense, reels, and TikToks I've seen. I think they mislead women and are probably dangerous.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
Strength is a factor, but skill is far, far more important. But for the love of all that's holy, don't take self-defense lessons from TikTok. Take them from a qualified instructor.
#33
How well they cook!
They tend to be very innovative and instinctual, resulting in tasty, unusual dishes.
Brian Droste 2 months ago
I know how to cook and got compliments on my cooking in the past put I am no chef. On the other hand I have a male friend he loves to cook and likes to experiment with food and spices.
#34
Me and my boyfriend done a “test” a few months ago when my flatmate moved out and I had an empty flat for a few months, and he was between places so I was like let’s try it!
The hair in my sink!!! And he left the cupboard doors open so much. Maybe that’s just my boyfriend BUT THE HAIR IN THE SINK WHEN HE WOULD SHAVE!!!!! I’ve never lived with a man until my boyfriend but CLEAN UP YOUR FACIAL HAIR.
#35
They really mean what they say. They are straight forward with their questions and answers. They communicate in a different way than women.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
C.S. Lewis explained it in a humorous but surprisingly accurate way; women speak a language without nouns. If two men are doing a job, one will say 'put this bowl in the other bowl in that cabinet'. The female for this is 'put this in the other one in there'. This is why men and women have trouble doing jobs together; men need nouns, women don't. So you get the inevitable 'in where?' 'In THERE, of course... ugh never mind I'll do it myself' situation.
#36
I had no idea men's pajama pants had pee flaps lololol.
Heather Menard 2 months ago
Mine is they have pee flaps in underwear and I have never seen a man use it. They just pull it over the underwear.
#38
The lacking amount of pants they own. My husband owns 2 pairs of jeans. That’s it. That what he works in what he does fun in. He’ll wear each pair for three days and on laundry day he just lounges around in shorts. Then complains that his pants are ripping.
Also how they can sleep in just about anything. Like my BIL literally sleeps in jorts every night? Like these jorts are specifically designated sleep pants.
Anthony Elmore 2 months ago
That is a bit... uh... lacking, even for a guy. We do however sometimes get extra use out of them for work. That's more about only having a few get dirty, though.
#39
I noticed that when my husband is quiet for a while , usually there’s something on his mind or he’s a little stressed. we have 3 bedrooms in our trailer and he has his computer in his room , I always know if he’s stressed bc he will close the door. If he leaves it open then I know he’s probably having a good day lol. I’ve never told him this 😂.
#40
I thought my hair was bad for falling out and getting everywhere but no; *beard hair* Was not ready for that one.
Fire Singer 2 months ago
I bought a little dust-buster specifically for the bathroom to clean up my hair after I'm done brushing it or straightening it, it's been a game changer!
#41
They can all drop five pounds in a month by giving up lunch on Tuesdays. I’m over here eating kimchi and quinoa, sleeping like a princess, counting steps and drinking plain water. I would be lucky to just maintain my weight doing all that.
Oh, and more often than not, the helpless dad in sitcoms is based on real life. I always hoped that was just good comedy. .
#42
They don't know any more about home maintenance than i do. (We learned together).
Day Andie 2 months ago
Son-in-law is a microbiologist. Most intelligent man I've ever met. Can't hang a picture or put together furniture or toys. Daughter does the practical stuff. He only ever bought new cars and had the dealer do maintenance. Called AAA for flats. Was amazing that daughter changed a flat by herself one day when out of cell phone range. Was really blown away when she changed the oil in the lawn mower and finally trusted her to do the cars. Was astounded when I built shelves in his garage. But hey, we don't know how to run a bio-security lab or do cancer research, so there you go.
#43
That male urine smells super different to woman urine.
#44
About half of them seriously fart nonstop when they’re at home. I don’t even know how they were holding it all in before that.
winterwidow87 2 months ago
Can we please stop pretending that women don't fart or burp? Passing gas is natural, everybody does it.
#45
My girlfriend says “the amount of paper towels a person can use is much higher than I thought”.
#46
Just how much they like b***s. The number of times I've had to yell "Mitts off!" at him is astounding. He's better now.
#47
Everything must be turned *all* the way to the max. Ceiling fan? All the way up. Faucets? All the way up. AC? High. Fridge temp? Freeze it *all*! Lights? If he walked through the room, they're on. T.V.? The neighbors can hear it down the road. Lawnmower? Burn rubber. Dryer? High heat.
The exception: Thermostat in winter.
Oh. I also never realized bellybutton lint was a real thing.
Edit to add: Didn't know sneezes could be **SO LOUD**.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
You should hear my neighbour's sneezes. She sounds like a nuclear bomb going off.
#48
They poop so much. maybe it’s just my bf. i’ll go once a day maybe twice on a crazy day, he’s going every few hours, his friends too. one time i even got frustrated at it because the bathroom always smelled 😂.
#49
You can eat the same exact things, and while you both have gas, his will smell like the very depths of hell.
And no matter how old he is, he will cackle when you get caught in a haze of it.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
I have a female friend who can outclass me every time. "Does your GI tract run through Jersey?"
#50
I had no idea how much joy men get from just standing around and staring into the fridge for no particular reason.
#51
If their body has a lot of hair, your bathroom surfaces will need cleared at least a couple times a week. They're generally not inclined to either deal with it or clean up after it.
Man in the mirror 2 months ago
Men and women's vision work differently on average. Women see details, men see space. He doesn't clean it because he doesn't notice it.
#52
Men will throw their dirty clothes on the floor no matter how many hampers you provide.
#53
Men are naturally good at DIY projects. They're also more practical with money hence the lack of new clothes and non-essentials compared to my mountain of impulse purchases.
Peter Bear 2 months ago
Wrong. Men are not 'naturally' better at anything, it's just that society teaches and trains us differently from a very early age. Same with money management; that's a learned skill and is not gendered.
#54
Men roommates are messy: women roommates are dirty.
My men roommates might leave dirty socks and shoes in the common areas. My women roommates would leave plates of food all over their room and common areas. They also never rinsed out the tub after showering, and would leave webs of hair in the tub and walls.
dan s 2 months ago
I used to work for a property mgmt company. I believed the stereotype that women are neat and men are slobs but not true in the slightest. Women's bathrooms- omg. And stop, for the love of god, flushing hygiene products. Men didn't clutter nearly as much, but that's because we generally have a fraction of the stuff. We don't have 17 hairbrushes or 12 bottles of moisturizer. I've lost count of the number of men's apartments that had a chair, a couch, a coffee table, and a TV. In the kitchen, one pot, one fry pan, two mismatched plates, a coffee cup, and two of each cutlery. That was about it.
#55
Can be an esports player n die drowning in minecraft.
What do you think ?
Ace 2 months ago
About three or four of these ring true and would seem to apply to men min general, or to most men. The rest of them are nearly all equally applicable to men and women, or just oddities that the poster had not come across before, neither typical of men, nor unusual in women.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
I saw the whole post as an exercise in finding examples that one guy does and then generalizing that to all men. Miquel is usually one of the better writers here.
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JayWantsACat 2 months ago (edited)
Articles like this always bring out the "but I also do this", the "don't we all", "but I'm a X and also do this", etc. crowd. This isn't saying ONLY men do these things, just that these are some things that men do that surprised THESE women, FFS.
Beef Brisket 2 months ago
So refreshing to read some extremely positive posts about men that melted my heart--usually men are discussed in such a negative light. I love men! I think they're generally amazing! (I love women too, of course.) Now if we could only have a positive article here about great things about the U.S. -- I am sooo tired of the US bashing and it would be so uplifting.
Ace 2 months ago
About three or four of these ring true and would seem to apply to men min general, or to most men. The rest of them are nearly all equally applicable to men and women, or just oddities that the poster had not come across before, neither typical of men, nor unusual in women.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago
I saw the whole post as an exercise in finding examples that one guy does and then generalizing that to all men. Miquel is usually one of the better writers here.
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 2 months ago (edited)
Articles like this always bring out the "but I also do this", the "don't we all", "but I'm a X and also do this", etc. crowd. This isn't saying ONLY men do these things, just that these are some things that men do that surprised THESE women, FFS.
Beef Brisket 2 months ago
So refreshing to read some extremely positive posts about men that melted my heart--usually men are discussed in such a negative light. I love men! I think they're generally amazing! (I love women too, of course.) Now if we could only have a positive article here about great things about the U.S. -- I am sooo tired of the US bashing and it would be so uplifting.
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