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50 Women Share The Ways They Were Body-Shamed And It’s Just Too Horrible To Read
Sally Bergensen is the CEO of Oiselle, a Seattle-based athletic apparel company by women, for women. She recently took to Twitter to share a body-shaming story from her childhood that, despite taking place when she was just a twelve-year-old teenage girl, is clearly something she's never forgotten.
"Keep eating like that, and you're going to be a butterball," her father had said to her, and now she's encouraging other women to share their experiences of being body image shamed by using the hashtag #TheySaid. And as you can see below, many women were quick to come forward with their own stories of friends, family, and sometimes total strangers making hurtful comments about their body type, size, or being way off the line of beauty standards. The hashtag has even spawned a sister hashtag called #SheReplied, which people are using to share ways to respond to the next person who says something unpleasant about the female body. Scroll down to see some of the responses to uncalled for public shaming so far.
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Keep it up! People are ridiculous. They should never shame someone for trying to be active and healthy!
I'm so sorry. I am on antidepressants that have caused weight gain and I have experienced such negative feed back. People can be cruel.
Body shaming from a different perspective. After a nasty break-up in December i started suffering from depression and just stopped eating. I was down to 44kg in no time and people kept telling me how awful i looked. I knew that it looked terrible, but no need to keep f*cking telling me that all the time. That really hurts. Now I am getting better each day :)
Since when do boys not want fat girls?!? Maybe not all of them, but still a lot of them. Your mom would be surprised...
Same thing happened to me... I was 15 and it was my aunt. I never wanted to be a model anyway but why say such a mean thing?
I get that nonsense from time to time. Guess what? I'm 54. I plan on doing whatever I want for the rest of my life and I need muscle and bone mass to do it.
It makes no sense: at 13 yo, she's responsible for you and moreover she's supposed to be supporting you and love you no matter what
Honestly, I would kind of expect this from a thoughtless jerk of a teen sibling, it's the parents that make me see red!
Yeah, some doctors should change their job. I really don't get it. Okay, if someone really has an unhealthy body, especially as a doctor you should be honest and help your patient. But this argumentation makes no sense and is just rude. Also if mental issues aren't your field of work, you should be careful with words. (Not only because weight gain could be a side effect of depression)
I knew a girl in college who was a power-lifter. If you didn't know that, an a*****e would assume she was overweight. I think she was about 240lbs of muscle.
OMG sooo sad, reminds me of when I was 13 and my friend told me guys that date fat girls only date them for 1 thing...yes and she was supposed to be my best friend, funny thing was I wasn't even fat at the time as I look back at pics I looked great, sometime a persons motives can be jealousy as well.
That has to be the most horrible thing someone could say to their child :-(
A three year old?? A three year old NEEDS some chub - they're growing very quickly! A skinny toddler is a sick toddler most of the time!
Why would he look at 10 y/o girls' thighs in soccer shorts, huh? But srsly, such a jerk
I could never out on weight before I had my daughter and used to get a lot of comments too which are very hurtful "you are too bony" "Ooo careful you might snap a leg" but it's not your fault
this is so sad, My brother does this to our sister, she has the same problems but diff background as me, our brother lost tons of weight after getting all his med problems fixed, we haven't, our sister has the opposite of me {im under, she's over} and our brother calls her whale, bakery, fat, chub chub, and other words, she's 28 and 200 pounds, he is 24 and weighs 160 pounds with me at 29 at 120 pounds, our brother even got on tv for losing his wight.....{i guess pm or message me if you want that link}
I am sorry, but this is the most idiotic, wrong, mean and simply absurdest thing I ever heard a mother saying to her daughter. Seriously.
So, like someone pointed out so accurately above this post, they are supposed to be taking care of you! So, if they think this, and all those other nasty thoughts, why not say these things instead... let's all take a walk after dinner, it's such a nice night! Hey let's go to the beach and play frisbee before the sunset! You know, daughter, I've put on some weight. I think I need a walk, would you take one with me and keep me company? We could walk the dog together, how about that?
I know this one. The sister of my ex boyfriend told him I looked better when I've been a bit skinnier and with Make up.
Good for you! That's an intense workout and takes stamina and strength!
Foot size? wtf. What a weird thing to insult. "Thanks! I'll work on reducing the size of my feet!"
We had pizza for dinner during holidays. I wanted another piece. "Are you fat pig going to eat another one? I guess you're not" My Dad, I was 12. #TheySaid
My great-grandma (visiting us once in 5 years) to me, 9 years old in a nice-meant voice "Oh, you have quite "ladylike" big thighs!" This was the first time someone commented on my body the way that I thought "I am obviously not right the way I am". It was nice meant, really, but it was like "you are fat and disgusting" and many people continued to say such "nice" stuff to me until I became what they formed me. And now I have to work hard to get rid of this useless ballast (the overweight as well as the bad sentences in my head and my bad self-perception). Why can´t people just be a little bit nicer to each other?
I will share the same thing I shared on the with the other girl who's friend was a b***h. This reminds me of when I was 13 and my friend told me guys that date fat girls only date them for 1 thing...yes and she was supposed to be my best friend, funny thing was I wasn't even fat at the time as I look back at pics I looked great, sometime a persons motives can be jealousy as well.
I had an aunt who used to say this to me when I was a kid, but she called most people fat so I paid her no mind, she was just a bitter lady
How is that body shaming? How could they know you have problems with eating?
My heart goes out to you. I am a fat woman (and just to make this clear, I AM fat and I AM confident in myself and my body and since I defeated anorexia, I actually kinda LIKE being fat), married to a lean, tall, skinny guy. When I met him years ago, he went through terrible depression and he was sickly skinny, starved and malnourished. With help and thanks to his insatiable appetite, I managed to put a few kilos on him, now he's just "normal" skinny, but healthy-looking. He's eating insane amounts, he just has awesome metabolism, unlike me, and it breaks my heart that he now honestly think he's fat and he's trying to restrict himself and lose weight. I spend time every day to tell him that he is beautiful and that even is he did become fat, I'd still find him a total hottie as long as I see him happy and confident in himself, because body-shaming is a terrible thing that has nothing to do with one's gender.
Put gramma in the back of the church, and after the wedding ask her, could you see ok gramma? I know your eyesight is bad!
"So sad to hear about that foot the couldn't remove from your mouth" lol
that is horrible going to a party for fun and ending up being fatshamed it starts with the same letter but still people you can hurt others feelings also why are people judging when the person they judge looks like Aphrodite compared to them?
why didn't you knock him out? A simple uppercut and that b***h learns his lesson
My parents do this all the time. Even when I got a small plate on purpose, and only got about an eighth of a regular serving of dinner... it honestly feels horrible
I have a huge hernia on my belly. I get asked all the time. I'm 48
Intimidating to the person who said this to you!!! I would've told them maybe they should try working out sometimes.... Maybe they wouldn't be so intimidated.
Idk, I think I would have taken this as a compliment, you need strong shoulders in swimming, but then again if running was your fav thing or you were a pro for it, then yeah it sounds a bit hurtful
having big muscles isn't that bad. You should have showed them your power and knocked them out
yeah... my mom says this on almost a daily basis. And she wonders why I prefer to stay in my room then hang around her.
I got a lot of the your face is so beautiful, but you need to lose weight. And I blatantly ignored all their s**t. I got it from all sides. The only problem I had, was that my other three sisters were like sticks as kids and teens, I wasn't. When I was 14, I has a 36 b, and at 18 I was 37 22 38. They were all still sticks. Just starting to get figures that looked girlish. The only reason they thought I was heavy was because of that.. and as I looked at pictures one day, from when we were all younger, I had curves at age 12!! I was just not like the other ones. So, when I did have weight issues, I knew where it came from. My parents even had the why are you eating more talk, and putting on weight? C**p! I was 13!!
Body shaming aside, try it sometime, if you're a decently strong swimmer. One of the swimming challenges I had to do for a badge involved swimming a decent distance in a short time in full clothing, stripping down in the water at the end, and climbing out of the pool in just my swimsuit. The challenge was great and I felt accomplished afterwards.
An acquaintance succesfully studied at London Institute for Performing Arts (sponsored by Paul Mc Cartney) with really good dancing skills and got no job at all after, because her body shape was not "petite"/dainty enough. So noone cared about her skills, only of her appearance. :-(
Says a lot about them and their parents. No home training, and if I had to guess, the parents didn't spend time with this child. No morals, no values, no respect. These traits are learned from our parents, at home.
I can relate to this. I've never been a skinny minny, even at my fittest. At one point I was running 3-5 miles a few days a week and still struggled to get past 175 lbs and I'm only 5'5
"Studying at university, studying at university... you should marry and get children!!" my grandma told 19-year-old-me. I am a big disappointment to her, because I am 39 and still single (AND fat...)
I don´t know how much a size 4 is, but according to google pictures it is a dream body shape! Don´t like your mom!
@oiselle_sally "Don't worry, you are too ugly to be raped", from a guy friend when a group of us were discussing recent rapes and sexual assaults in our city. #theysaid
If find the "family advise" particularly appalling. Failing to teach your children the merits of sports and how to cook healthy, nutritions food, probably even serving them unhealthy food when they were young, but then making comments about the weight is disgusting. Undoubtedly, parents ought to be critical when their children have an unhealthy livestyle. But, as other posters also underlined, being a critical advisor means supporting rather than shaming.
Exactly. How hard can it be to quietly and privately say, "I'm concerned, your weight doesn't seem healthy, how can I help?"
Load More Replies...It's horrible to see that the ones that are supposed to be there for support are the ones tearing them down. This won't motivate anyone to become healthier, quite the opposite. It will make them try to lose weight in unhealthy ways. My mother has never called me fat, even when I was. She would wake up every morning and tell me how beautiful I was and to never let anyone make me feel otherwise. If I wanted to lose weight, she said "OK, I'll help you but know that I think you are beautiful the way you are." I believe my mom will be getting a big hug today. I will continue that tradition with my daughter, she's 4. I tell her how beautiful, smart, and kind she is everyday. It's my job as a parent to be the comfort my child needs in a horrible, judgmental world.
My mom had an untreated mental illness and often said hurtful things, but never once did she body shame me. Passing on body positivity
Load More Replies...The most painful for me is to read such kind of statements from the own parents and relatives. There are so many reasons one can have overweight and instead to bully everybody some people should better turn on the brain and give support if they know the person or at least keep silent.
If find the "family advise" particularly appalling. Failing to teach your children the merits of sports and how to cook healthy, nutritions food, probably even serving them unhealthy food when they were young, but then making comments about the weight is disgusting. Undoubtedly, parents ought to be critical when their children have an unhealthy livestyle. But, as other posters also underlined, being a critical advisor means supporting rather than shaming.
Exactly. How hard can it be to quietly and privately say, "I'm concerned, your weight doesn't seem healthy, how can I help?"
Load More Replies...It's horrible to see that the ones that are supposed to be there for support are the ones tearing them down. This won't motivate anyone to become healthier, quite the opposite. It will make them try to lose weight in unhealthy ways. My mother has never called me fat, even when I was. She would wake up every morning and tell me how beautiful I was and to never let anyone make me feel otherwise. If I wanted to lose weight, she said "OK, I'll help you but know that I think you are beautiful the way you are." I believe my mom will be getting a big hug today. I will continue that tradition with my daughter, she's 4. I tell her how beautiful, smart, and kind she is everyday. It's my job as a parent to be the comfort my child needs in a horrible, judgmental world.
My mom had an untreated mental illness and often said hurtful things, but never once did she body shame me. Passing on body positivity
Load More Replies...The most painful for me is to read such kind of statements from the own parents and relatives. There are so many reasons one can have overweight and instead to bully everybody some people should better turn on the brain and give support if they know the person or at least keep silent.