Remember the Why is water wet joke? Yup, the one that explains the very nature of H2O and gives an immersive experience into the world of liquids? The hilariously funny joke that squeezed some bodily waters (tears, we mean tears) out of you? Well, that very same joke has inspired us to comprise a whole list of water jokes and to share it with you, too! So, ready or not, the jokes about water are here.
So, water, right? Not the first thing that pops into your mind when thinking about hilarious jokes, we can bet. However, bearing in mind that like 90% of everything around us is actually made from water (the number is not scientific, we added like before it), that means that liquids are the basis of plenty of cool jokes. Well, at least in our minds, that is. However, we’re going to find out very soon if our thesis is any good because you’re about to read these funny water jokes and tell us what you think about them!
Now, our selection of water jokes is, as usual, a bit further down. Once you get there, be sure to vote for the best jokes on the list. And after that is all well and done, share this article with your friends who you think would benefit from a bit more water and entertainment in their day!
WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”
WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburetor.”
HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburetor is. I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”
WIFE: “In the pool.”
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RIP Boiled water… you will be mist.
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Adele might set fire to rain… But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water.
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A man walks into a library and asks for a bottle of water.
The librarian says “this is a library!”.
The man whispers “sorry, a bottle of water, please”.
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What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
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Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
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That awkward moment when you pay $2 for Evian water and notice if spelled backwards you’re Naive.
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My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
I know he means well.
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If you ever feel blue, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep.
That will give you a reason to get up in the morning.
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What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
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Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
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How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
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What state does the Mississippi River flow in?
Liquid.
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When does it rain money?
When there is “change” in the weather.
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How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
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In the future water will be like sarcasm.
No one will get it.
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What did the sea say to the river?
You can run, but you can't tide.
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Patient: Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?
Doctor: A tap on the ankle.
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Why should one be careful when it is raining cats and dogs?
Because they might step on a poodle.
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How did the raindrop feel while receiving a gift?
It was on Cloud Nine.
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How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
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What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
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What did an impatient pot of water say to the noodles?
Udon!?
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All you have to know about celery is that it’s made up of 95% water, and it’s 100% not pizza.
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What did the ocean tell his gym buddy? He asked them to show him their mussels.
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What did I tell my friend who wanted to swim in a river in Ukraine?
It's Dnieper than you think.
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If Smart water is so smart then how did it get bottled?
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What is the best waterfall joke?
The one which does not have any downfalls.
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What did the swan say before leaving the lake?
Aboat time.
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I never believed water could freeze, but now icy.
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What do you call a spy left to drown?
Pond. James Pond.
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The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states. Solid, liquid, and gas.
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A friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water.
I think he meant well.
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What kind of rocks are never under water?
Dry ones!
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H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
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Who carries out operations in water?
A sturgeon.
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There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
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What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
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As raindrops say, two’s company, three’s a cloud.
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Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
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Wanted to play water polo but couldn’t get the horses to swim.
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What kind of hair did the ocean have?
Wavy!
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Who cleaned the bottom of the ocean?
A Mer-Maid.
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Why were the student’s grades underwater?
They were all below C level.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed.
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A girl agreed to go out with me after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
Schwepped her off her feet.
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Why do male dogs float in water?
Because they’re good buoys.
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Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
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What can you do if you are the ocean?
Waterver you want.
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What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
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Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
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Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
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I asked my friend to name two places where you could store water.
He was stumped. “Well, dam.”
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Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
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How do you make a water bed more bouncy?
You use spring water.
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Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
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What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
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Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time.
I was shocked.
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What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
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What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
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What do you call a car focused on crossing the river?
Fjord Focus.
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What did one stream say to the other?
Let's meet around the bend.
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What happens when you get water on a table?
It becomes a pool table.
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Is this a real life or is this just Fanta sea?
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I just heard a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
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I considered making a new brand of bottled water, but the market was too saturated.
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My friend can't afford to pay his water bill.
I sent him a card saying "Get well, soon".
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Fish.
Fish who?
Bless you.
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What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
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Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
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What did the newly married couple say when they found the bed they liked?
"Water bed!"
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Why should you not drink water during your exam preparation?
Because it can dilute your concentration.
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What helps to build an ark when it rains?
To Noah guy.
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Why is it always so noisy when there is an opera in the clouds?
Because there are too many thunderclaps.
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How do you wrap a gift for a cloud?
Using a rain-bow.
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What precedes raining candies?
Sprinkles.
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What does a snowflake eat?
Icebergers.
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What would you find at the bottom of the ocean which often twitches?
A nervous wreck.
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Why are oceans mostly salty?
Because when they wave, the land never waves back.
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How are criminals in the ocean held accountable?
They are charged gill-ty.
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What keeps the ocean intact and does not let the water leak out?
The seals.
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In which section of the newspaper did the seaweed search for jobs?
Kelp wanted.
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What would you call the citizens of Paris going for a bath in the river?
In-Seine.
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Why did the tourist decline the assertions of him being in Egypt?
Because he was in de-Nile.
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What are tiny river tributaries in Cairo named?
Juve-Niles.
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Have you heard that river joke?
It is a dam good one.
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Why can the river not have a good memory anymore?
Because it has turned se-Nile.
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What did the guide say to the tourists when she spotted a shoe in the river?
Beware of the crocs.
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What do you call it when a prince falls into a well?
A roil mess.
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What do you call a water body that is polite?
Well-behaved.
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Why did the woman not spend much time at the lake full of ducks?
Because she was not liking the bills.
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Why are jokes on frozen lakes dangerous?
Because they might crack you up.
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When Chuck Norris touches water, he doesn’t get wet.
The water gets Chuck Norrised.
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On a flight, off on holiday. The cabin crew member asked what I wanted to drink.
“Water”.
“Still?”
“Well, I haven’t changed my mind…”
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Where can you find an ocean with no water?
On a map!
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How do you get a pen across some water?
Biro-ing.
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What runs, but never walks?
Water!
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What do mermaids sleep on?
Water beds.
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What do you get when you throw a billion books into the ocean?
A title wave!
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water?
Because if they fell forwards, they would still be in the boat.
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What happens if you throw a white hat into the Black Sea?
It gets wet!
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The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
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Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
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Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam!
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Why don’t you see a school in the ocean?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
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What do you call a melted snowman?
Water.
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Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
In the closest ISOBAR.
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What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time?
“Well, I’ll be dammed.”
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Where do fish keep their money?
In river banks.
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What did the sink say to the tap?
You're a real drip.
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What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
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What did the beach say to the wave?
Long tide, no sea.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
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What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
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What is a water marathon called?
A livestream.
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What could possibly be the opposite of a waterfall?
A firefly.
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How does a cloud invest?
Through liquid assets.
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What did the shark say when his friend was being shy?
Do not be koi with me.
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What is the process of throwing money in the river called?
Cash flow.
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Why do fishermen make good movie directors?
Because they have experience with reeling.
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Every time I take a drink from a bottle, it keeps pouring back.
Must be spring water.
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Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
They dropped out of school!
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What keeps a dock floating above water?
Pier pressure.
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Love watching running water on the internet.
Was watching a live stream.
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Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for? Open the door!
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What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
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What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
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Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
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What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
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Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
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Why are the Great Lakes running out of water?
Because Americans are drinking Canada Dry.
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How did the crab cross the river?
He took a taxi crab.
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What do you call dangerous precipitation?
A rain of terror.
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What goes up when rain comes down?
An umbrella.
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Which rock does not like to swim underwater?
Hardrock.
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How does the faucet work with all its intricate mechanisms?
The mechanism works in sink.
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How did the boiled water pay for her new house?
With hydrogen bonds.
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Why was the sky sad when it rained?
It used to get the blues.
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Why were the two snowflakes best friends?
Because they stuck together.
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Why did the ocean restaurant still keep going even after suffering losses?
Because it was serving the porpoise.
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What is the favorite subject of oceanic creatures?
Algae-bra.
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Why do unique people not swim in the river?
Because it is too mainstream.
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Why did the tourist like the landscape surrounding the river?
It was gorges.
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Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
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Why do owls turn nonchalant during monsoons?
Because they are too wet to woo.
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