I have met very few people in my life who didn’t like traveling, and even then I believe they just hadn’t had the right experience yet. If you are having a hard time trying to persuade someone to come traveling with you, try easing them into the subject through travel memes. Humor always helps, and traveling is no different.
Throughout the time we were all required to stay at home and it seemed like traveling was never coming back, what kept me going personally was travel jokes. And now that we can roam around the world again, travel puns and holiday jokes are still very relevant to fill the time until you can get on the train or airplane again. But speaking of flying, do you know what one place where you should never, ever tell dark airplane jokes is? At the airport! No one who works there will appreciate it, and given their job, it’s pretty understandable.
For this article, we collected a bunch of jokes on traveling, travel-related funny short phrases, and even humorous riddles for you to have some fun while you’re waiting for your next traveling opportunity. Share them with your friends who have wanderlust just like you. If you have more travel jokes, our comment section is open for you.
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"If I owned a DeLorean… I’d probably only drive it from time to time."
Why don't aliens visit our planet?
It has terrible ratings. One star.
You’ve never felt true fear until your passport isn’t where you think you left it.
Or, you get to the airport and realize your passport is still at home
"The flight attendant on our trip was handing out plastic pilot wings to some kids. As I stepped forward, she jokingly offered me one, but I passed. Pointing to the Airborne wings on my Army uniform, I explained, 'The last time someone gave me wings, I had to jump out of the airplane."'
Me: “I’d love to travel more”.
The bank account: “Like, to the park?”
"What do travelers like best about Switzerland?"
"I’m not sure, but the flag’s a big plus."
Oceans are so friendly. They’re always waving at you.
"I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours."
Halfway between New York City and Washington, D.C., the train's engine fell silent. "I've got good news and bad news," the conductor announced. "The bad news is we lost power." My fellow passengers groaned. "The good news," he added, "is we weren't cruising at 30,000 feet."
"On vacation in Hawaii, my stepmom, Sandy, called a café to make reservations for 7 p.m. Checking her book, the cheery young hostess said, "I'm sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?"
"That's fine," Sandy said.
"Okay," the woman confirmed. Then she added, "Just be advised you may have to wait 15 minutes for your table."'
"I love when flies won’t leave my car on long road trips. Have fun moving to Kansas, tiny pest."
Nice! That reminds me of the first physics question I asked my Mom (who could not answer and I have difficulty explaining even now)... Does that fall under relativity?
"We are all time travelers moving at the speed of exactly 60 minutes per hour."
What happens when you wear a watch on a plane?
Time flies!
What did E.T.'s mother say to him when he got home?
"Where on Earth have you been?”
"Traveling through the Midwest, I stopped at an Ohio welcome center to pick up a state map. I found plenty of brochures but no maps. Then I spotted two employees and asked whether they had any. 'Sure,' said the first guy. 'I’ll get you one.' As he walked to the back, the second guy explained, 'We keep them in the storage room. If we leave them out on the counter, people just come in and take them.'"
This sort of makes sense, as in they take one too many maps and the centre runs out of them all too often
"My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane. Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: "We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time." A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."'
Where do sharks like to go on vacation?
Finland!
Why did Mister Krabs not invite Spongebob to go on vacation?
Because he is absolutely Shellfish.
What happens when you cross a snake and a plane?
You get a Boeing constrictor!
How do crazy hikers get out of the forest?
They take the psychopath.
"I love traveling to France. There’s nothing Toulouse."
"I want to go to Bora-Bora, but I’m too Pora-Pora."
It’s fun to drive in the outback, but you’ll need to show koala-fications.
Do koalas live in the outback? I don't think so but I'm not a koala-fied expert.
"I didn't realize how bad of a driver I was until my satnav said, 'In 400 feet, do a slight right, stop, and let me out.'"
"I haven’t slept in days because I am about to climb the highest mountain in the world. I wonder whether I will Everest."
"I’ve got 99 problems, but I’m on vacation so I’m ignoring them all!"
"The first time my mother flew, she was a nervous wreck. During takeoff, the roar from the engines proved reassuring — it meant they were working, she reasoned. But when the plane leveled off, so did the engines. Grabbing the armrests, she asked aloud, 'Did we stop?"'
"I took four hours to check out of my hotel in Japan. The receptionist told me, 'You really Tokyo time.'"
Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip?
Oregon.
"Don’t worry if our old car breaks down on our trip through Canada. I have Triple Eh."
These were all reminiscent of Henny Youngman/Rodney Dangerfield/Children Trick or treat jokes ! I enjoyed them all, almost !
Don’t plan your vacation with a broken pencil. It’s absolutely pointless.
Why did the flight attendant apologize to the family of elephants?
They were only allowed one trunk onboard.
When in Romania. Why did the tired traveler go to Romania?
So he could Buch-a-rest.
Going vacationing at the coast?
Remember to keep it reel.
"As I waited for my luggage at the airport, a man lifted my suitcase off the baggage carousel. 'Excuse me,' I shouted. 'That’s my suitcase.' The man shot back defensively, 'Well, somebody took mine!"'
Why did the librarian get chucked off the plane?
Because the flight was overbooked!
