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Even though the art of lying is very nuanced, one thing is for sure—no matter how big or small, every lie has a consequence. The ripple effect of a lie can really go either way, from haunting a person for the rest of their life as a silly joke to being an actual blessing and even a tragedy that made someone’s world fall apart.
Below you’ll find stories about all of it, good and bad, by people who confessed to their lies online. Brace yourselves for dishonest truths that had the biggest impact on someone for better or worse—just a scroll away.
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#1
I told someone that I was in Foster Care with as a teen.......that I believed that she really could become a physician someday. This was a girl who many people regularly called a stupid idiot or worse. I told her that because I didn’t want to be mean, not because I actually believed what I was saying.
18 years later, I found her on FB and found out that she is now an oncologist. We talked and she told me that once I told her that I really believed that she could become a doctor, she went all in and didn’t stop until she got there. She says that I was the only person who encouraged her about this until she made it to college.
I think that was the best lie that I ever told.
KieLeaHar 2 weeks ago (edited)
This is the best kind of encouragement you can give someone— even when you’re apathetic and don’t want to say anything to join the bullying. ☺️. I hope they became friends! It’s been over 20 years since I finished high school and I have literally had people reach out to me after I finished high school to tell me they remembered me for being nice to them when no one else was and to thank me for it.. I was like what? You’re thanking me for being a decent person? Don’t do that 😀 . But I’m so glad you’re doing well in life! Then I ended up chatting to them all for awhile and we all caught up. It’s so weird for someone to remember you so long after primary school for a simple thing of being nice which most children do but then again some kids are real arsèholes like their parents are.
Mark Kelly 2 months ago
It's not a lie because did you actually believe she was too stupid? Who is someone to judge?
Henrik Knudsen 2 months ago
You were speaking truth over her. The power of the tongue is great.
RELATED:
#2
There was this girl who went to my high school that was not very popular and was picked on a lot. She wasn't attractive and was just a social dud. There was a dance or something coming up, one of the ones that you get a big mum for your sweetheart for. Well, one of the ways that these kids decided to pick on her was to get her one of those mums as a "secret admirer" and send it to her, saying they'd reveal their identity to her at the thing.
I felt so mad and sorry for her that I showed up and I made myself that "secret admirer" and showed her a good date. She somehow found her confidence in life down the road, and ended up late blooming into a complete stunner. Maybe I contributed to that change in her outlook? Idunno. I'm happy for her and her husband.
Edit:
Thanks for the nice words yall. That girl was a kind person and didn't deserve a bad day like that. I guess karma paid off for me bigtime, because I married a different, but awesome woman, myself :).
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
Chrysanthemums - a type of flower. In some places they're commonly called "mums".
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Beak Hookage 2 months ago (edited)
I think 'mum' might be short for "chrysanthemum", the flower? I've heard them called that before.
Doctor Strange 2 months ago
As someone who was on the recieving end of such 'pranks', I'm glad that there was someone there to stop this girl from having to go through it.
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Not sure if it's still a "thing" but homecoming at some high schools, colleges + universities in the US, the guy would buy a *huge* chrysanthemum for his sweetie. I have *no* idea why!
#3
My grandmother suffered from pretty serious dementia. She was regularly trying to evacuate the people from her assisted living facility, because of alien invasions.
One day my mom calls me, BEYOND her wit's end, because the assisted living facility is fed up and would love to evict my grandmother, but they can't get her calm enough to do so.
I think about it for a minute and I tell my mom to tell my grandmother that my sister, who worked for the government at the time, has negotiated with the aliens and they've agreed to leave us alone. My mother was horrified and wanted to be offended for a moment, stammered, and then said "hold on I'll call you back".
So my mom calls the assisted living facility and tells them to put my grandmother on the phone. She tells her what I told her to, and Grandma immediately calms down, tells everyone it's okay, the aliens have agreed to leave us alone, and never saw another alien invasion again...
Uncle Panda 2 months ago (edited)
When I worked in a nursing home, there were two nurses and two other aides who would get on an extension and play the role of the person the dementia patient *really* needed to talk to. I played fathers, husbands, brothers, sons, and handymen. "I checked the fences Fred, and all is well." The other nurses and aides were uneasy at the deception but it was a no brainer when it came to patient comfort.
Janelle Collard 2 months ago
Absolutely! You were helping people who needed it.
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Bruce Mardle 2 months ago
Reminds me of the ending of Philip K D**k's "We can remember it for you wholesale" (upon which "Total Recall" is loosely based). SPOILER: The authorities discover that the protagonist once showed kindness to an alien invasion fleet, so the aliens agreed not to invade Earth while he was alive.
Shay Lee 2 months ago
There’s a lot to be said for leaning into the delusions of people with dementia. My Grampie one day was sitting in the dark around 2 am half dressed to go out. He thought he was waiting for his sister to take her into town (he hadn’t lived near his sister since he was 23). I simply told him she had changed her mind and to go to bed. He complied with no issues, there was no reason to try to bring him into reality…I just went along with his reality.
Bgray450 1 month ago
My mom also would freak out when my Grandmom was having her Alzheimer's dementia episodes and she'd try to speak rationally to her. Not me. I'd say "Gee Grandmom, what IS that weird guy doing up in the tree there?" We'd have discussions about what she was seeing and I never made her feel like she was crazy. It seemed to help.
#4
I was buddies with my next door neighbor. He was always complaining. About work. About girls. He lived until 26 years old. I met his dad when he came to clean out his apartment. Dad and I hung out, and I told him some fun stories about his son. Before we parted, he put his hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye, and said: “tell me...was he happy?” I looked him straight in the eye right back, smiled, and told a string of happy lies. “Yes! He was excited about his latest work assignment! He was kicking a*s playing squash at the gym! He had a crush on a new girl and was hopeful about her!” He smiled sadly and quietly said “Thank you.” Best lie ever.
angelmomoffour62 2 months ago
OP didn't say how that guy died. His Dad was so happy so who cares if it was a lie.
Weltschmerz 2 months ago
I'm speculating suícídĕ but could be anything I suppose!
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 months ago
I have a feeling, from how OP worded their comment, that Dad knew it was a lie (I imagine he knew his son well), but still appreciated the sentiment/what OP was trying to do.
#5
I'm pretty skinny, and I had just moved to a new school. A kid who was overweight told me he wished he was skinny. I told him I used to be fat and that I started running, exercising, and being more careful about what I ate, and lost a ton of weight. He looked like he hadn't heard that kind of encouragement before. I moved away shortly after. Saw him a few years later on social media and he lost the weight and looked great!
Laserleader 2 months ago
My husband lost 80lbs because one day he mentioned how much pain he was always in, and couldn't give up stress eating, so my only reasonable reply was "Would you be in MORE pain if you chose to eat less". Since he realized he would be in pain either way, he went on a controlled diet, and faced a few demons.
Mark Kelly 2 months ago
Telling someone to exercise and eat right to lose weight is not a lie, it's a fact.
#6
Organized a party and invited a lot of people. My friend had been hanging out with a girl who was new in town, I invited her too.
He was, and still is, short, chubby, hairy, rarely the smartest in the room, but an unimaginably kind and nice human being. She was pretty and hanging out in a group where guys heavily outnumber girls, I though she was using him because he had a car, just to drive her around.
That day he asked me if I thought he had a chance if he made a move on her. Smelling the defeat already, I told him "absolutely dude". At least he would get rejected and be able to move on instead of orbiting her.
It worked though, and they are still together almost 8 years later...he still thanks me sometimes for helping him make up his mind...
Tabitha 2 months ago
Listen, the first man I fell truly in love with, and who loved me back, was shirt, balding, and had a slight underbite. But he was kind, gentle, whip smart, worldly, knew a lot of important people, and was really interesting to be around. He was also s**y AF, at least to me. Looks aren’t everything, believe me. I have dated gorgeous guys. Some are great, but too many are vapid and only concerned with the gym and how they look. Conversation isn’t their strong point, and they expect great stuff to happen to them and be given to them just because they’re good looking. Hell, we’re all going to wrinkle up and gain weight eventually, so we should be looking for people who are beautiful inside anyway, because that doesn’t age. They’ll be as wonderful at 100 as they were at 20. The good looking ones who are skating by in life on that alone are going to be in for a very unpleasant surprise when the newer and fresher models come along (just like they did to the generation before them).
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
As a short, fat, weird guy (who also decisively rejects all "manosphere" and "redpill" BS), I can say this comment means a lot to me
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Beak Hookage 2 months ago
"She likes me for me, not because I look like Tyson Beckford/With the charm of Robert Redford/Oozing out my ears/I like her for her/Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford/She has got so much to offer/Why does she waste all her time with me? /There must be something there that I don't see. But what she sees/Is that I can't live without her/My arms belong around her/And I'm so glad I found her once again."
#7
This isn’t my lie, but my coworkers husband who suffered from what they thought was some type of dementia and MS.
Unfortunately, her husband developed severe memory issue at the age of 26 and lived only to 41. He was in and out of hospice, nursing homes and assisted living facilities. In one of the nursing homes, an elderly woman with severe dementia would not stop yelling, “Jesus! Is that you, Jesus?! Jesus, answer me! I know you’re there!” She’d do this for hours every day for weeks.
Nobody in the nursing home could console her or get her to stop. Finally, my coworkers husband had had enough.
Woman: “Jesus!! Oh, Jesus answer me!”
Him: “WHAT?!”
Woman: *long pause* “is that you, Jesus?”
Him: “yes! I hear you. Now go to sleep and stop yelling! You’re fine!”
The woman never yelled out again... it apparently took another dementia patient and my coworkers husband lying about being Jesus to solve the problem.
Melanie Filmer 2 months ago
It's amazing how many people try to contradict/rationalize to someone with dementia, all it tends to do is upset everyone. My husband is an AP on a dementia ward and is frequently called on to calm patients, his approach is much like these examples, it results in a much calmer quicker patient
Stacey N 2 months ago
Ikr? I work with dementia patients as well. When my uncle was finally diagnosed with dementia, I had to explain to my family that we have to step into his world. Not try to bring him back to ours. If you have to ask how mom is doing even though she passed 10 years ago, so be it.
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Bec 2 months ago
When my mom's father was in the hospital dying, the family was gathered around, he was resting peacefully but was not going to be waking back up, just waiting for the end. A nurse made the comment that sometimes the patient is waiting to make sure everyone they love has said goodbye - my youngest aunt lived across the country and would not be arriving any time soon, my older aunt grabbed Grandpa 's hand and squeezed it tight and said Dad it's Amy, we're all here now, you can let go. No, it didn't work immediately, but he passed that night
#8
A friend wanted to become get into show biz. He was super corny though. I told him to keep pushing, and that I enjoyed watching his movies (that he wrote, directed, filmed with an iPhone, and starred in). They were cringey. But I think a passion should be pursued. He went all out though. Sold everything and moved to a big city in his barely working Honda Accord. for more opportunities.
A couple of years later he came back to visit. Picks me up in his Cadillac, takes me out to dinner. Gives me a nice watch and tells me I was the only person who ever told him to pursue his dreams. He doesn't act anymore except for occasional commercials, but now he has a small production company and a management company for new actors. I'm very proud of him and amazed that he made it.
Luke Branwen 2 months ago
If I ever become a big writer, I'll have to personally thank all those people who've read my totally cringefail first attempts at writing and told me they liked it 😅
#9
Twelve years ago, I was talking to a girl at a bar. It became quickly clear that she bored the hell out of me. I happened to see an acquaintance out of the corner of my eye. I called him over and introduced him to “my really interesting new friend.” Five years later they married. They remain happily married to this day.
Helen Rohrlach 2 months ago
I could say one man's trash is another man's treasure but that would be cruel.
#10
That I was just going to my parents for the night.
I did not actually go to my parents. I went straight to the airport and flew several states away so I could dump him and he wouldn't be able to find me and then convince me to come back to him.
Haven't seen him in 6 years. His mom still tries to message me on Facebook to try to get me to go back to him.
Catharina Geerts 1 week ago
A lie for safety, I consider a white lie. There was one late evening time, a young man was walking alongside of me while I was going home and insisted we should make an appointment for a date. First I was saying no, but he wouldn't leave me alone and I didn't want him to follow me all the way home, so I promised to see him the next day. He went on his way and I never showed up. I don't feel obligated by a forced promise
Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 months ago
ok, OP shoulda BEEN blocked him and his whole family on all SM apps. that should always be step 2 after leaving/escaping (step 1).
#11
Gave a fantastic reference for a former coworker, who was forced out of the company due to visa issues. Midway through the reference, I realized that they thought I had been his boss (his actual boss did not like him, and decided he was not worth the trouble on a visa)
He got the job and is doing very well at his new company, and he now has a work visa for the next 6 years.
Tabitha 2 months ago
Well, fingers crossed he keeps the visa, and doesn’t end up “disappeared” by unidentified masked thugs with no warrant in unmarked trucks that look like their personal vehicles and not government fleet issue.
Liam Walsh 2 months ago
I took on a staff member who had what was a genuine and honest reference that was not good at all. He told us he'd been fired and humiliated himself by explaining why (I shan't say, it's been something I've never told other people). My Human Resources Department didn't want me to take him on. I did though. He rewarded me by being the hardest working member of my team. I wrote him a reference for his next job after I'd left the company (so he could avoid needing one from the previous employer as two were needed). Never regretted taking that risk.
#12
I told a prospective employer that I made more than double what I actually did. I got hired on at that rate. It’s made a world of difference for my wife and girls.
Michael Largey 2 months ago (edited)
What you truly earned on your last job and what they actually paid you are often two completely unrelated numbers.
#13
I pranked my best friend once when she was sleeping at my house. I told her that, usually, two hot dudes with magic powers would come at night to get me and take me on adventures, but that because that night she was with me I wasn't quite sure they would come.
We were quite young and avid readers of fantasy books and the likes, so while at first she was just playing along, we talked so much about it and fantasised about the monster and the appearance of the guys that I have no doubt she ended up believing it just a bit.
So, as we went to sleep, I said (because I am a bad person) "man, I hope they don't wipe out your memories to maintain this a secret" and left her to worry.
Next morning she was like "You didn't have to worry, I remember everything!" and I looked at her in the eye and said, sadly:
"No you don't".
(Don't worry I eventually told her)
Well, fast forward about 10 years later, she is in the process of transforming the lie into a novel, and she even got a tattoo in her ankle with some symbols regarding some details I told her that night.
Miriam Insidecor 2 months ago
Reminds me of Heavenly Creatures. Obviously with a lighter ending.
#14
"No, I'm not sure what happened."
Carrying my best friends secrets, why he chose to end his life, is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.
Tommy DePaul 1 week ago
Pay for an hour with therapist. Unload your truths to them. I promise you'll feel better.
#15
Fourteen years ago in college, I lied to a friend that this guy liked her. And then I told the guy that my friend liked him. BAM! They started flirting heavily that night and now they’ve been happily married almost ten years.
ETA: WOW, this blew up! To answer questions, yes I confessed! I think I told the girl about a week later. Neither one minded and they thought it was funny. On the night of the lies, I talked to the girl first; if she had said she wasn’t interested, I never would have talked to the guy about her. Looking back, I took a huge risk because I didn’t know either of them very well, but we were all drunk and it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.
It is a little like Much Ado, one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. I had actually just finished a huge term paper on why Beatrice and Benedick were a superior couple to Hero and Claudio so it’s entirely possible that I came up with the idea from that.
Cindy Brick 1 month ago
I just wish the actors from the movie version of Much Ado had kept up with it. They were terrific together.
#16
That they should apply for this job they really wanted, even though they were underqualified for the position. I didn't really think they had a chance, but I said I did and apparently that encouragement was enough to get her to apply and she eventually ended up getting the job.
DelvianBlue 2 months ago
Never hurts to try. The worst thing they'll do is say no. That's how I got my current job. I applied knowing I didn't have a chance, but they called for an interview. I went in knowing that I didn't have the right license and was under qualified and they would never pick me, but they called back for a second interview. Once there, they offered me a contract on the condition that I would work towards the license I needed over the next two years. That was 9 years ago. I am now properly licensed, more experienced, and head of my department.
#17
I was trying to get my GF to stop using tanning beds because you know, skin cancer. I jokingly told her they are powered by mini nuclear reactors and that's why people get cancer. Shockingly she believed me, stopped going and started telling her friends. I was more shocked to find out some of them believed her.
DelvianBlue 2 months ago
Just as well. I had stage one melanoma last year. They caught it early enough to be curable with surgery, but that surgery was no joke. I needed over 100 stitches, have a scar wrapping halfway around my leg, and have permanent nerve damage in that area. Now I see a dermatologist every 3 months and am covered with biopsy scars because I have a lot of moles and freckles and apparently my skin cells have a unique structure that is especially prone to future melanoma. This was the good scenario. 0.4 mm more and the cancer would have reached a lymph node. Once that happens, survival drops to 50%. Skin cancer isn't something to mess with!
Liam Walsh 2 months ago
Really glad they caught it in time for you - wishing you well.
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Laserleader 2 months ago
Well, ultraviolet RADIATION is how they work, so you were just wrong as to what kind it was.
Tommy DePaul 1 week ago
Wow. How do you deal with the fact that she's stupid? Mini nuclear reactors?!
#18
When we were kids, i used to watch the animated Batman series with my little sister after school. One day I casually mentioned that I created Batman, and she got very excited. She told her first grade class at school the next day, and the teacher told her that wasn't true.
She didn't believe anything I told her for awhile. She's 30 now and I still get "this isn't another I invented Batman thing, is it?" when I tell her things.
Joe Reaves 2 months ago
One day she's going to be giving his eulogy and she's going to bring that up one last time. She will get the last laugh.
Debby Keir 2 months ago
Years ago, when I was 5 or 6, (in the 50's) my father told me that he had especially arranged for there to be a circus on TV - just for me. So I bragged to a neighbour (about 11) and found out that there was something called a 'TV paper'. Very cross at my dad at the time.
Tonja Jackson 2 months ago
Heck, my brother still owes me about 10,000 candy bars: when we were kids in the '60s and while watching, "Star Trek" or "Bonanza", he would tell me to go get him a glass of milk or whatever. I would answer, "no", then he would say, "I'll give you a candy bar', and me being a stupid little girl would believe him and go get his glass of milk. Now, he will occasionally give me a candy bar and smirk, "now I only owe you 9,978 candy bars".
Bruce Mardle 2 months ago
"One day I casually mentioned that I created Batman": In a past life?
#19
It won't impact her until someone finally calls her out on it, but I told my sister that futons were invented by a native South American tribe called the Futoni, and she's been sharing this "fact" with everyone.
Uncle Panda 2 months ago (edited)
I was on a bus in Costa Rica when we came upon a farm that used shopping bags to enclose each plantain flower to prevent pollination. So, a field of trees with Target and Walmart bags up in the branches. My seatmate asked, so I told her that's how we get the bags - they're grown on trees in plantations like this one. I had her for about a minute before she said, "right...!"
JB 2 months ago
Reminds me of the Ono bird. Very rare South American bird with the unusual features of it's testícles hanging lower than it's legs. This, of course, is where it gets it's name, as everytime it comes in for a landing it goes "Onooooo!"
Funhog 2 months ago
Is that the pygmy tribe that travels through very tall grasses.. the ones who you never see, only hear their chants?
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Sarah 2 months ago (edited)
I’ve never watched Star Wars or Dr who. The team was talking abt latest SW in work.. I tried to join in by saying.. I went to see s*****e squad and a trailer came up for SW. I said - Looks rubbish , white soldiers running on the wing of a spaceship, my colleague corrected me and told me they are called Daleks. Which is what I ctd to call them when everyone who had seen SW and were discussing for the next week , no one corrected me for months
#20
Both of my kids, 25 and 16, think that I don't believe in owls.
Michael Largey 2 months ago
Owls don't believe in the OP either. When you ask them about him, they just reply "Who?"
Laserleader 2 months ago
Careful, because as your kids grow up, they will think you are an idiot, just like my mom, who tried to convince us that EM pulses from the wiring in the walls are bad, and wears a tinfoil hat while sleeping (not joking she lined a knit hat).
Spannidandoolar 2 months ago
I discovered 2 weeks ago that my son thought foxes were made up for books.
Catharina Geerts 1 week ago
So why did you tell them you don't believe in owls? I can understand (more or less) that people don't believe in strange animals they may never have seen themselves, but normal, everyday animals and birds that are all around you?
Melanie Filmer 2 months ago
I don't believe in bears! They're all humans in suits... Have you seen the way they move? Definitely humans in suits 😂
Tommy DePaul 1 week ago
Then I guess it wouldn't be stupid at all if I walked up to one and introduced myself and complimented him on the realism of his costume . . . Moron.
Load More Replies... #21
I didn't tell the lie, it happened to me.
Sr. Year of high school, young, stupid... you know the drill. I had become really close with a life long friend (call her Sara), she had grown into quite the beautiful young woman. We spent non stop time together. I was planning to ask her out because all the signs were there, we were at a corn maze, it was going to happen I could feel it. I talked to our mutual friend, her best friend, let's call her Meg. She told me not to, that we were just close friends and it would ruin everything. So... I didn't.
It put a serious damper on things and our friendship kinda waivered. Then college hit and we really lost touch, have probably talked twice in the last 10 years.
Meg admitted 5 or 6 years after college that she lied in high school, that she had a crush on me and didn't want me to date Sara. But that Sara actually had a massive crush on me and Meg told her I didn't like her that way. So both Sara and I started acting cold to each other because of Meg....
I always wondered what would have happened had we changed that one night. Maybe we would have stayed closer, but then again maybe it would have changed things and i would never have met my wife...
Jo Smythe 2 months ago
when i was young i was too shy to ask girls out, i am on the autism spectrum so it was just something my brain would not let me do. Years later I found out my sister warned off all her friends that they were not allowed to pursue me. Turned out LOTS of girls were into me back then, it was just my own brain that stopped me dating. I was not pleased with what my sister did.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 months ago (edited)
English isn’t everyone’s first language. Since you’re making your comment on a Lithuanian website, why don’t you go ahead and make it in your best Lithuanian?
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#22
I’ve told this story before, but as a kid I told my younger sister that the Easter bunny came through the drain. I thought she’d find it magical, like Santa.
She found it horrifying. We stopped having egg hunts.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
Considering some of the stuff I've pulled out of drains over the years, I'd have been horrified too. I'm also now imagining an Easter Bunny made of those nasty slimy clumps of old hair. I should see if my artist friend who's into horror stuff is interested in drawing it...
Francesa Miller 2 months ago
We moved to the country and bought a few chickens. When my daughter saw where eggs came from, she didn't eat them for years.
#23
I was secretary of my fraternity when this kid came to rush. Slacker motif, into snowboarding, looked like Shaggy from Scooby doo. We had chatted a few times during rush week and I liked him. At our ritual meeting we do a blind vote on giving out bids to pledge, and he was 2 votes short of a bid. Well, only me and the rush chair could actually *see* the votes, so I lied about the count, and he received a bid. The rush chair went along with it since it made him look good (or else he didn't count) and I figured it was no harm since he still had to go through the pledge program.
The fraternity became a big part of his identity, and he was voted president his senior year. He met his wife at a party at my house - she was my girlfriend's friend, and her brother was in our fraternity. They have 2 kids together now, and I can't help but feel partly responsible.
Had I been honest about the vote count he wouldn't have received a bid, might have pledged to a different fraternity, and wouldn't have met with his future wife at my place that night.
James Twong 2 months ago
As a non-American the whole fraternity thing always seems kind of weird.
nottheactualphoto 2 months ago
As an American, I find the whole fraternity thing completely and utterly bizarre.
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alchemilla vulgaris 2 months ago
or not. Imagine telling the groom "you were unpopular, we had to lie to fit you in". what a way to ruin his special day!
Load More Replies... Ginger ninja 1 month ago
As a non-American I assume the first paragraph is some sort of initiation process?
#24
Not me... a friend of a friend. He has chocolates that contained powdered psilocybin mushrooms. His housekeeper found the chocolates in his room, and put them in a bowl on the kitchen table when he was at school. His father comes home, sees the chocolates, and eats a few. A hour or so later, they are eating dinner, salmon. They didn't eat fish often. His father loses it, tripping hard and thinks he's having a stroke or something. They go to the hospital, do a ton of tests, nothing shows up. He's fine, but he still thinks he's allergic to Salmon.
CalamityOne 2 months ago
Sorry, but I would be very upset that someone put MY personal bedroom chocolates out for general consumption. Whether they caused anyone to trip balls or not.
Barbara Deskins 1 week ago
where, pray tell, do you find such chocolates for purchase?
Load More Replies... Laserleader 2 months ago
Housekeepers arent supposed to do that. I would have been fired immediately for opening a product and putting it out without permission of the owner, especially if it was in their personal room. The most I dared was organizing a space by straightening items, not OPENING them.
#25
A friend of mine (call him Pete) is one of those people who are completely unable to signal to someone that they’re not interested - romantically or platonic. He just doesn’t know how to say no.
This girl, call her Martha, became infatuated with him, and followed him all around, wanted to hang out with him all the time. He couldn’t stand her, but every time she phoned up, he would answer the phone, she would ask him out for coffee, he would agree. The rest of us tried to help him by being generally unfriendly and cold to her, to no avail - she wasn’t great at reading he situation either.
Meanwhile, another guy we occasionally worked with (call him Bob) started inviting himself to hang out with us. We liked him about as much as Pete liked Martha. Both of them were socially awkward, unimaginably bland and uninteresting, had nothing to contribute to conversation. They just sucked the life out of the atmosphere.
So we told Bob that Martha had a crush on him. And we told Martha that Bob is only hanging out with us because he’s into her. We figured this should be a strong enough hint, since it was very obviously a lie. And they didn’t seem to be buying it.
But after keeping this up for some weeks, the two of them suddenly stopped showing up. We thought we were rid of them. Then we found out they got together. Later we found out they’re engaged. Later married, then children. Last I heard they were still happily married 10 years later.
Who would have thought!
meeeeeeeeeeee 2 months ago
Pete seems like a t**t...and the rest of them. Oh, we were mean to her so she'd get the hint that Pete hates her. As though she's so f*****g dumb for not knowing when he's always answering the phone to her and agreeing to spend time with her, and then spending time with her. The pair are better off away from a thick pack of c***s who expect people to be able to mind read
Funhog 2 months ago
Well, I gave them a look, so now 'they know' how I feel!
Load More Replies... Sarah 2 months ago (edited)
Bob and Martha are well out of that group of so called friends. The group sounds nasty. If they wanted to come out and socialise, then have the grace to be polite, rather than them sitting at home by themselves. They didn’t contribute to conversation? Well, they’d showed up to meet you and your cohorts, maybe you lot didn’t make it an atmosphere for them to engage. But they showed interst enough to turn up. Your group don’t sound like nice people , and you didn’t even seem to show any regret or guilt for trying to get rid of them. You actually sound chuffed with yourself . I bet you and your friends were the ones sucking the atmosphere out of every occasion
Laserleader 2 months ago (edited)
So he leads her on by not clarifying friendship, and agreeing to dates. She is obviously an introvert trying to socialize and they purposely make her feel unwanted instead of telling her the truth that the guy doesnt like her. She is better off without these "friends".
Ginger ninja 1 month ago
“We were unfriendly and cold to her but she was bland and uninteresting and added nothing to the conversation” jfc OP do you even hear yourself
#26
Colleague didn’t disclose to his second (younger) wife he had a vasectomy, in spite of her talk about raising a family. He had three kids from his first marriage and had no intention of fathering more. They were together for years, trying to have a child, before she found out about the undisclosed sterilization and divorced him.
Sara Frazer 2 months ago (edited)
That's just cruel deception. Everyone has the right to family planning, but if you marry someone who wants kids when you know you *cannot possibly* provide them with kids, that's just mean. I'm all for reducing the population; and I knew I didn't want kids from a young age. Unfortunately I had a child far too young because people pressured me into it...the s***m-donor who was the main person to pressure me into having my one child now is the one with custody, and I am vehemently against having any more children. That said, if you know you can't bear children and marry/try to make a life with someone who wants them...that's just cruel.
BrunoVI 2 months ago
Grounds for legal annulment, not just church annulment.
Load More Replies... officerripley 1 month ago
Back in the 70s in No. Calif., I worked with a lot of men who did this.
#27
My sister and I were young at church in front of the place where there are a bunch of candles with saints on them and I think a car drove by or something but a shadow or something went across the wall and just the shape looked like a person flying by. My sister said, "Did you see that?" And I said, "What?" and she kept describing the shadow. Anyway, by my non-acknowledgement, she was convinced that it was an angel trying to give her a sign. She became super religious after that and married a super religious guy and they divorced because he would go on mission trips and never worked and they lost their house, etc. She is not religious anymore but I am not sure why I didn't just acknowledge it back then but I wonder if that incident caused her to kinda lose a big chunk of her life.
meeeeeeeeeeee 2 months ago
surely reinforcing that you saw it would make her definitely believe it was there. I can't see the outcome being different
Laserleader 2 months ago (edited)
She sounds like she would have believed anything no matter what you said. She WANTED to believe in angels, so she was willing to take any random movement as them, even if you had said it was just a shadow.
#28
I told my niece and newphew the only way to make the ceiling fan turn on was to hold your arms out and spin in a circle.
The fan itself is remote controlled, but the light turns on at the wall switch. Let's just say the remote is well hidden.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
What with kids tending to automatically believe everything you tell them, the temptation to mess with them like this is very real. 🤣
#29
I once spread a stupid rumour that a kid in secondary school had his front door stolen.
Turns out some kids thought it funnier if it was stolen. So at a party at his one weekend, theu unscrewed the door from its hinges and took off with the door and left it in a field.
Bruce Mardle 2 months ago
Reminds me of Richard Feynman's anecdote about stealing someone's door. (It's in "Surely you're joking, Mister Feynman".)
#30
I have only lied once in my life. It was a long time ago, I guess 1999.
I was walking down the street and saw a kid crying. I asked him whats wrong and he replied, "I lost my penny".
I searched deep in my pockets and asked him to stop crying and *gave him a penny, telling him that its his penny and I found it lying on the ground nearby* .
He stopped crying immediately and ran away.
I began to smile and that kid looked at me and said, "Fooled you".
I have never gone anywhere near a kid since then.
Cadena Norton 2 months ago
When I was a cashier this guy came in in the middle of the night to buy something with a bag of pennies. Told him he was one cent off (wasn't denying the sale just mentioned it) he went off on a tangent about me being a government agent sent to steal from him. Turns out 2 of the pennies were just stuck together. I was then one of the good ones and they were trying to trick him. Gotta love nightshift.
#31
I’m a teacher.
I had a student who always said she wanted to be a writer and asked me if I thought she could do it.
She was 13 at the time, and her writing was fine technically, just not particularly interesting.
But of course, she was just a kid, I told her she could be whatever she wanted to be with a lot of hard work.
Well, it turns out I was one of the first people to give her any encouragement on it and she spent all of high school trying to position herself to become a writer.
Went to college and got a degree in creative writing.
Is now working as a manager at a chain restaurant after 14 years of trying failing to break in.
Tabitha 2 months ago
Listen to writers talk about getting their first novel published. Listen to them list the jobs they worked at while writing in their spare time. You have to pay the bills until you are successful at your dream and can be a full time professional writer. Though she could pursue writing for magazines and such to become a known name until she can get her first novel in shape to submit to a publisher.
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
It can, but it’s not guaranteed to happen when and how you think it will. There are many different ways a writer can make money at their craft. Journalism, magazine articles, short stories, technical writing, script writing (including training films), advertising, etc. It isn’t all novel writing.
Load More Replies... Joe Reaves 2 months ago
Most published authors can't live on the income they get from writing.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
*is a published author* Say hello to someone who is chronically broke.
Load More Replies... Jo Smythe 2 months ago
This is the bleak truth about the "anyone can do anything if they try hard enough" attitude pushed upon us by the top athletes, singers, actors, celebs etc. They think anyone can do it because they did it themselves. But it is not true. You need some amazing combination of talent, luck and background (as in family or wealth). If you have no talent, no luck, no money, no contacts in the industry, then you will get nowhere. The world is full of dedicated fools who work their asses off and get nowhere.
Maim 1 month ago
I have a friend that is a terrific writer - everything I've written of hers is just really fabulous. She cannot get her foot in the door (yes, she knows about self-publishing, really wants an agent to snatch her up). Sometimes it just does not happen no matter how talented you are.
Beak Hookage 2 months ago
Yeah, that's what happens to about 95% of aspiring writers. Ask me how I know.
#32
Not me, but my brother sometimes has a stroke of genius:
His third name starts with "I" so on his ID it says "Name1 Name2 I." so he once convinced one of his friends that the "I" meant that he was "the first" and that he was of royal blood. She had been bragging about knowing royalty for years until she found out that it's just the first letter of his third name.
CD Mills 2 months ago
Probably not his last name. It's not uncommon for some people to have three names plus a last name. One of my nieces has three names plus a last name, her folks agreed on a first name but had different middle names they were playing tug of war with. They finally just hung all three names on her. Some cultures have five or six names plus a last name.
Load More Replies... #33
This was in elementary school. I think grade 2. I farted a really smelly fart, but it was silent. Everybody started blaming me, but I was good at hiding it, and I blamed another guy. This gave him the nickname "stink bomb," and nobody would go near him for the rest of the school year. People would get grossed out if they had to go after him for the water fountain, and nobody wanted to be friends with him anymore. The next year he changed schools and we never saw him again. Sorry man.
#34
I can't claim that this had a profound impact on her life or anything, but my wife is from the US and we both live in the UK so there are frequent opportunities for me to lie to her for my own amusement.
Just for laughs, I tell her she's mispronouncing words when she isn't and vice versa. She's not totally gullible, but I'd say she falls for it about 60% of the time. For example, I told her that in England we pronounce "soup" like "soap". Not a brilliant gag by any means, and I didn't think it would ever leave the house, but imagine my glee when I heard her ask a guy in a supermarket where to find "chicken noodle soap".
She was particularly confused when she first heard that we use Stone as a weight measurement for people. She asked me what the excess stones were called (if, for example, you weighed 12.6 stone) and I said pebbles. It was obviously a joke, and once again I forgot I had even said it.
Months later I find out she's been telling a bunch people that in the UK we measure things in stones and pebbles like primitive medieval folk.
Sly Schlang 4 weeks ago
Yeah. Constantly pushing his ego by making your own wife smaller. Hope she opts for someone elses genes and and company if she decides to have Kids. Raise them in a real family
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Ol' Stevie 2 months ago
All I'm seeing here is "Haha, I like making my wife look silly in front of other people!". Defective little man.
Jude Corrigan 1 month ago
I know. Calling it stones and pounds is really odd. Kilograms are far easier.
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Michael Joyce 1 month ago
You literally do. You just said it yourself. But this level of lack of self-awareness or empathy was what I found living in England for half a year. I spent every summer in Scotland, so I didn't buy that c**p, but my roommates would send my other Canadian roommate to the store for "chin nuts" or the like. I had to vet almost every conversation. Meanwhile, I didn't see any of this kind of assholery in 4 years living in Ireland.
Ol' Stevie 1 month ago
Tell me Michael Joyce, when you came to England for "half a year", did you live in a tent or were you one of the posh ones who stole a caravan to sleep in? As for "self awareness and empathy", would you care to explain what happened to the copper pipes and wiring from the primary school, how the lead roof of the church vanished in to thin air overnight, and where the wheels from my car ended up?
Load More Replies... Jude Corrigan 1 month ago
Only for weighing people. Although, it is more common to use kilograms now.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 months ago
OP should tell his wife that they're going to visit Stonehedge in the spring to watch them move the stones for Daylight Savings Time.
#35
About 5 years ago I was in the car with a friend. It had an old cassette player and a tape was stuck in it, so we just kept listening to hiphop beats and instrumentals. I asked him if he knew how to freestyle and he was shy at first, but when I started, it looked like he at least wanted to try it, too. It was by far the worst rapping I had heard before, but his girlfriend just broke up with him and I wanted to be nice, so I told him he was great and "has serious potential". I didn't think twice about it. A few days later he started sending me voicemessages of "new tracks" he wrote and recorded. I saved them and changed the speed to 1,5. This way I could hear the lyrics in a minute without having to listen to anything else. We were friends after all. Weeks later I received more and more. Then I received messages from other friends, asking me why I am encouraging him to do this. Apparently I was not the only one he had sent the songs to. At some point he started to invite me to open mic events. Even his parents were there. There was no skill whatsoever, yet everyone kept listening to him, the same way you listen to a bunch of kids playing songs on the flute on christmas eve.
Tabitha 2 months ago
Like Andy Bernard bad, until he wakes up to himself and starts following a more realistic career path.
Load More Replies... Bec 2 months ago
I watched a video recently that pointed out that people used to have pianos in their home, and signing was quite common entertainment - not that people were good singers. Then the radio came and we all started to listen to other more talented people sing and we don't sing anymore if we aren't 'good' at it - extend that to just about anything because of media and social media today
#36
In the mid 1980s my father convinced my mother that the St. Louis arch was a McDonalds advertisement, we were moving to St.Louis from the east coast. My mother told all her friends this. Pre internet. St. louis was fly over country. She found out the truth after moved and felt like an idiot. My father never let her live it down.
BrunoVI 2 months ago
"Flyover country" refers to the part of the U.S. between the coasts, that Hollywood and cultural pseudo-elites only ever "fly over." So yeah, St. Louis is as much flyover as you get.
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#37
So this is a stupid one, but:
A long time ago a good friend of mine was desperately trying to sell his Xbox 360 to make some quick cash before moving, and another mutual friend of ours decided to buy it. I'm talking with said mutual friend just before the deal goes down and I tell him to save some money he could probably just tell the guy he only showed up with X amount of dollars ($20 less than the agreed amount) and he'd still probably sell it. So he does, and the guy selling the Xbox gets mad, talking about how stupid it is for someone to agree to an amount and then straight up not have enough money, but he sells it anyway just like I thought.
Fast forward to a decade later and I'm still great friends with the guy that sold the xbox. We're talking and the subject of the mutual friend comes up and my buddy just goes off saying how he's hated that guy ever since he cheated him out of $20, and he really thought less of him as a person after that day. I agreed with him saying that was a pretty dumb thing to do. I don't think these two guys would have been best friends or anything, but I made certain it didn't happen.
The Other Guest 2 months ago
Agreed - and the guy that went along with it & offered less is a jerk, too.
Load More Replies... #38
When I was in kindergarten, I lied and accused my music teacher of grabbing my arm and slamming it back down on the table. I said it because I was terrified of him and wanted to be removed from his class. I was only afraid of him because my older sister, in high school already, told me he was mean and would hurt me (just to scare me because she was my older sister). They did an investigation and everything and he was nearly fired. I finally ended up telling the truth during one of the final interviews. I still think about how messed up it all was and how I almost ruined a man's life, and almost my dad's, too, considering he was on the verge of wanting to seriously hurt the man. I fear of having bad teacher karma because of it.
#39
Got caught in a wrong number group text. They assumed I was Dave. Dave has a beach house. They asked if they could use the beach house for the weekend. "Dave" told them where the key was. At least one hopped a last minute flight to the party. Six people realized I wasn't Dave when they couldn't find the key and blew up my phone so badly over the next week from a bunch of other phones that I panicked and got a new number.
Glix Drap 2 months ago
Oops, just posted that same comment without reading the thread.
Load More Replies...
#40
Told a dude his gf is cheating on him and he went rage on her. She started crying and admitted everything because turns out she was actually cheating on him. Dude is my best bud till today.
What do you think ?
Mari 2 months ago
I told school that my kids were sick. It was a lie, they were not. I took them to an entertainment park. It was only that day reduced tarifs, I couldn't afford tickets at full price. We had the best day together and they still have great memories. I'm not regretting that lie.
Bananaramamama 2 months ago
I have absolutely called my kids off as "sick" when we just all needed a free, relaxing day.
Load More Replies... 
Emilu 2 months ago
I agree. Some of these were hilarious but others show that some people can be real c***s.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 2 months ago
The second girl I dated definitely lied when she said she loved me. Ultimately she admitted she was deliberately pushing me to commit s*****e.
Sarah 2 months ago
New one for me in last 3 days and would love advice. We’re not telling our mum she’s stGe 1 cancer as she has dementia. I think that’s the best lie we can do for her
alchemilla vulgaris 2 months ago
Depending on her circumstances, stage 1 may well be treatable with limited surgery and no (or little) post-operative treatment. Feel free to tell her a more benign, fake diagnosis, but do not rob her of the chance of cure (if the oncologists and surgeons say it's curable). A patient with dementia may still have a long life expectancy, and cancer progression can be extremely painful and difficult, especially for someone who can't understand what is going on.
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 4 weeks ago (edited)
I used to invent conspiracy theories to demonstrate how simple it was to concoct the craziest, most bizarre conspiracy theories. I quit when I started seeing them spreading around the internet (usenet back then). In 1993, I made one absolutely unbelievable: I predicted they'd frame one of Jack Kemp's teammates to keep him out of the White House. Kemp had been a football quarterback. It was totally lame; Kemp was just a representative with no path to the White House. He ended up losing with Bob Dole as Dole's vice-presidential running mate. His running back from his football days brutally m******d his girlfriend ... and coincidentally was preposterously found innocent ... in the trial of the century. Yes, O.J. Simpson was found guilty... unless you believe his co-star (Lisa Marie Presley) was a m******r.
Stephanie Pelka-Cole 2 months ago
Once when we were camping just my husband, my young son and myyself I pretenced to sleep while "a bear" was scratching and snorting and trying to get in the tent. I was on my side of the tent pretending to sleep all the while doing a wild impression of a hungry bear. I honestly didn't think my son bought the act and about 20 years later admitted it was me. All that time my son had told everyone about a night we were nearly offed by a hungry bear while camping.
Binny Tutera 2 months ago
I'm from Michigan and there are a lot of places that have Native American names. Someone i worked with in another state asked me what "Charlevoix" meant. I told him, "beautiful water". (It's on one of the great lakes, so plausible) He would ask me, every so often, what another name meant, and I would always answer "beautiful water". It took much longer than you think for him to realize I was making it all up!
Bruce Mardle 2 months ago
"Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically — for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist — but then what isn't?" – Quentin Crisp.
Mari 2 months ago
I told school that my kids were sick. It was a lie, they were not. I took them to an entertainment park. It was only that day reduced tarifs, I couldn't afford tickets at full price. We had the best day together and they still have great memories. I'm not regretting that lie.
Bananaramamama 2 months ago
I have absolutely called my kids off as "sick" when we just all needed a free, relaxing day.
Load More Replies... Emilu 2 months ago
I agree. Some of these were hilarious but others show that some people can be real c***s.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 2 months ago
The second girl I dated definitely lied when she said she loved me. Ultimately she admitted she was deliberately pushing me to commit s*****e.
Sarah 2 months ago
New one for me in last 3 days and would love advice. We’re not telling our mum she’s stGe 1 cancer as she has dementia. I think that’s the best lie we can do for her
alchemilla vulgaris 2 months ago
Depending on her circumstances, stage 1 may well be treatable with limited surgery and no (or little) post-operative treatment. Feel free to tell her a more benign, fake diagnosis, but do not rob her of the chance of cure (if the oncologists and surgeons say it's curable). A patient with dementia may still have a long life expectancy, and cancer progression can be extremely painful and difficult, especially for someone who can't understand what is going on.
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 4 weeks ago (edited)
I used to invent conspiracy theories to demonstrate how simple it was to concoct the craziest, most bizarre conspiracy theories. I quit when I started seeing them spreading around the internet (usenet back then). In 1993, I made one absolutely unbelievable: I predicted they'd frame one of Jack Kemp's teammates to keep him out of the White House. Kemp had been a football quarterback. It was totally lame; Kemp was just a representative with no path to the White House. He ended up losing with Bob Dole as Dole's vice-presidential running mate. His running back from his football days brutally m******d his girlfriend ... and coincidentally was preposterously found innocent ... in the trial of the century. Yes, O.J. Simpson was found guilty... unless you believe his co-star (Lisa Marie Presley) was a m******r.
Stephanie Pelka-Cole 2 months ago
Once when we were camping just my husband, my young son and myyself I pretenced to sleep while "a bear" was scratching and snorting and trying to get in the tent. I was on my side of the tent pretending to sleep all the while doing a wild impression of a hungry bear. I honestly didn't think my son bought the act and about 20 years later admitted it was me. All that time my son had told everyone about a night we were nearly offed by a hungry bear while camping.
Binny Tutera 2 months ago
I'm from Michigan and there are a lot of places that have Native American names. Someone i worked with in another state asked me what "Charlevoix" meant. I told him, "beautiful water". (It's on one of the great lakes, so plausible) He would ask me, every so often, what another name meant, and I would always answer "beautiful water". It took much longer than you think for him to realize I was making it all up!
Bruce Mardle 2 months ago
"Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically — for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist — but then what isn't?" – Quentin Crisp.
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