#1

"I Have Read The Terms And Conditions."

"I Have Read The Terms And Conditions."

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Community Member
3 years ago

But you check to make sure were not "robots"

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    #2

    "What An Adorable Baby!"

    "What An Adorable Baby!"

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Breathtaking!

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    #3

    "Let's Keep In Touch"

    "Let's Keep In Touch"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    Whenever this is said, I'm sure both parties don't care to keep in touch.

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    #4

    "It Was Nice To Meet You"

    "It Was Nice To Meet You"

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Narrator: It wasn't nice.

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    #5

    "I'm Fine"

    "I'm Fine"

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Translation: You are not the person of my choice to share it / I don't want to burden you

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    #6

    "Tell Me The Truth, I Won't Be Mad"

    "Tell Me The Truth, I Won't Be Mad"

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited)

    The is the ultimate lie invented by mothers

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    #7

    "No, Officer, I Have No Idea How Fast I Was Going"

    "No, Officer, I Have No Idea How Fast I Was Going"

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    Tony Berna
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    What people don't understand, that this statement is the quickest way to getting a ticket.

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    #8

    "Of Course I Remember You!"

    "Of Course I Remember You!"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    Geez I am terrible with people's names. I'll know who you are, even your panda's name but for s**t"s sake I cannot remember your name..

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    #9

    "I'm Proficient In Microsoft Excel"

    "I'm Proficient In Microsoft Excel"

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    N Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Except for those of us who are actually good with spreadsheets.

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    #10

    "I'm Listening"

    "I'm Listening"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    C**p they ended with "So don't forget." wth were they saying??

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    #11

    "Just Kidding!"

    "Just Kidding!"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Everybody who ever called me pretty :)

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    #12

    "It's My Last One."

    "It's My Last One."

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    roepi
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    And so is the next one!

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    #13

    "My Phone Died"

    "My Phone Died"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    THEN WHY WERE YOUR MESSAGES BLUE! Oof I got caught with this one 😅

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    #14

    "I Change The Oil Every 5,000 Miles"

    "I Change The Oil Every 5,000 Miles"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Yup....

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    #15

    "This Is The Best Gift You've Ever Given Me!"

    "This Is The Best Gift You've Ever Given Me!"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I just LOVE these SOCKS, Martha! Where did you GET these!?!?!

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    Never miss a story that brings joy to the world. Add us on Google

    #16

    "It Was Almost Done, And Then My Computer Just Died On Me!"

    "It Was Almost Done, And Then My Computer Just Died On Me!"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Well, I'll just have to call it a day. How about breakfast.

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    #17

    "I'm More Than Qualified For This Position"

    "I'm More Than Qualified For This Position"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    TaKe My ReAl ReSuMe

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    #18

    "I'm Busy That Day"

    "I'm Busy That Day"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    I'm supposed to stay in bed and cuddle my wolf I'm sorry I can't reschedule

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    #19

    "Don't Worry, It's Okay"

    "Don't Worry, It's Okay"

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    Rick Murray
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    "It's not the end of the world". Well, technically that is correct, but from my perspective it's not so much seeing the abyss as freefalling into it and wondering if and when the bottom will rise up to meet me.

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    #20

    "It's So Great To See You."

    "It's So Great To See You."

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Says my mom. Who I haven't seen in 4 years... And no, I'm NOT an adult.

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    #21

    "That Looks Great On You"

    "That Looks Great On You"

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    Wolfwarlord
    Community Member
    12 months ago

    Never used this one either, would rather an honest answer, and believe in do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

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    #22

    "Oh, Yeah, That Makes Sense"

    "Oh, Yeah, That Makes Sense"

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    Kenny Kulbiski
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    That makes sense. Now leave me alone so I can actually figure it out.

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    #23

    "I'm Five Minutes Away"

    "I'm Five Minutes Away"

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    N Miller
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I once told my brother by text that I'd be there in seven minutes. He was ready to take the mickey out of my timing, but as I pulled up the text showed "sent 7 minutes ago".

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    #24

    "Traffic Was Horrible"

    "Traffic Was Horrible"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Now, sometimes, this can be true.

    #25

    "I Can't Come In Today, I'm Sick"

    "I Can't Come In Today, I'm Sick"

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    #26

    "I've Only Had A Couple Of Drinks"

    "I've Only Had A Couple Of Drinks"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    My dad, reaching for his 4th 4 Loco

    #27

    "It Must Have Gone To My Spam Folder"

    "It Must Have Gone To My Spam Folder"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I do understand the concept of answering emails. Just not as it applies to me.

    #28

    "Let's Just Do One More."

    "Let's Just Do One More."

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    James Edwards
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I'll drink to that 🍻

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    #29

    "Would Love To Have You Come To Stay For The Weekend, But We've Already Made Plans"

    "Would Love To Have You Come To Stay For The Weekend, But We've Already Made Plans"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    Oh darn maybe some other time

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    #30

    "Let's Hang Out Soon"

    "Let's Hang Out Soon"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    HARD pass, Fred.

    #31

    "Yes, I'm Happy With My Salary"

    "Yes, I'm Happy With My Salary"

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    Froynlaven
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Said no one ...ever!!

    #32

    "Sorry, I Didn't See Your Text"

    "Sorry, I Didn't See Your Text"

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    #33

    "I Don't Do This Job For The Money"

    "I Don't Do This Job For The Money"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. There’s no middle ground.

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    #34

    "I Don't Really Care About Politics"

    "I Don't Really Care About Politics"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    So sick of politics. As Robin Williams said politicians , and diapers should be charged , often for the same reason.

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    #35

    "I Wish I Could Be At That Meeting, But I've Got A [doctor's Appointment/ Kid's Recital/ Funeral]"

    "I Wish I Could Be At That Meeting, But I've Got A [doctor's Appointment/ Kid's Recital/ Funeral]"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I don't want go . People just speak the truth. It's so much easier.

    #36

    "Oh, Yeah, I've Seen [popular TV Show]. It's My Favorite!"

    "Oh, Yeah, I've Seen [popular TV Show]. It's My Favorite!"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Didn’t you just love it when Chandler proposed to that Gilead girl, what was her name… Daenerys?

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    #37

    "He's Just Tired"

    "He's Just Tired"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    Heheh yesss

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    #38

    "No, This Isn't A New [expensive Purse, Pair Of Shoes, Outfit]. I've Had It Forever"

    "No, This Isn't A New [expensive Purse, Pair Of Shoes, Outfit]. I've Had It Forever"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Said anybody who isn't middle class.

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    #39

    "I Need It By Yesterday"

    "I Need It By Yesterday"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Should have asked for it yesterday,then. Not my problem.

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    #40

    "That Was My Last Piece Of Gum"

    "That Was My Last Piece Of Gum"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    My fwiends do dat :(

    #41

    "I Wasn't Checking Him/Her Out"

    "I Wasn't Checking Him/Her Out"

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    Pjerrot
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Checking Who out???

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    #42

    "That Was Funny"

    "That Was Funny"

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    Buren
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Type lmao rofl with straight face

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    #43

    "It Wasn't That Expensive"

    "It Wasn't That Expensive"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Says rich people and dads with shiny cars.

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    #44

    I Called You Back!

    I Called You Back!

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    "It went straight to voicemail, I thought you were trying to call me back" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    #45

    "We're Just Friends"

    "We're Just Friends"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Says people with love lives who are not me ;u;

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    #46

    "Your New Haircut Looks Amazing"

    "Your New Haircut Looks Amazing"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    Thanks I hate it.

    #47

    "I Totally Forgot To Do That Thing You Asked Me To Do"

    "I Totally Forgot To Do That Thing You Asked Me To Do"

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    Demongrrrrl
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    No, I think that's usually true.

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    #48

    "This Is My Top Priority"

    "This Is My Top Priority"

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    Duesvolent90
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago

    On my eventually list

    #49

    "I'm Never On Social Media"

    "I'm Never On Social Media"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    As if we’re not reading this on BP

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    #50

    "I Thought I Already Sent That Email Out. I'm Sure I Did"

    "I Thought I Already Sent That Email Out. I'm Sure I Did"

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    Rick Murray
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    /s/email/cheque

    #51

    "I'll Call You Later"

    "I'll Call You Later"

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    assdog
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    translates to "no i don't want to call or speak to you that's why we have text messages".

    #52

    "I Am __ Years Old"

    "I Am __ Years Old"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I let them guess. Makes more fun.

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    #53

    "I'd Love To Hear About Your Fantasy Football Teams"

    "I'd Love To Hear About Your Fantasy Football Teams"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Said no one ever...

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    #54

    "I Love It!"

    "I Love It!"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Do you really?

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    #55

    "The Kids And I Didn't Just Watch TV The Whole Time You Were Gone"

    "The Kids And I Didn't Just Watch TV The Whole Time You Were Gone"

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    Pjerrot
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    HA HA!!! ……. HA!

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    #56

    "I Thought I Hit Send"

    "I Thought I Hit Send"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Not to me.lol.

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    #57

    "I Have Soooo Much Homework"

    "I Have Soooo Much Homework"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    What if you're not in school /college.

    #58

    "That's Interesting"

    "That's Interesting"

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    Pjerrot
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Zzzzz….

    #59

    "I'm Having Computer Issues"

    "I'm Having Computer Issues"

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    Pjerrot
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Me!!!!!!

    #60

    "I'll Do It Later"

    "I'll Do It Later"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Next week, month, year.

    #61

    "That Was My Idea"

    "That Was My Idea"

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    Headless Roach
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Said everyone

    #62

    "Have You Lost Weight?"

    "Have You Lost Weight?"

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    Pjerrot
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Say’s People when They want something from me…

    #63

    "You Have Such A Lovely Home!"

    "You Have Such A Lovely Home!"

    Report

    #64

    "Do You Mind If I Take The Aisle Seat? I'm Claustrophobic"

    "Do You Mind If I Take The Aisle Seat? I'm Claustrophobic"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Do people with claustrophobia ride on planes?

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    #65

    "You Look Skinny In That Dress/Suit/Shirt"

    "You Look Skinny In That Dress/Suit/Shirt"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I always look skinny. I can't gain weight.

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    #66

    "Your Cooking Is Delicious"

    "Your Cooking Is Delicious"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    We take turns.

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    #67

    "I Would Love To Hang Out After Work Sometime"

    "I Would Love To Hang Out After Work Sometime"

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    #68

    "I've Been Swamped Lately"

    "I've Been Swamped Lately"

    Report

    #69

    "I Didn't Do It"

    "I Didn't Do It"

    Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Wasn't me!

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    #70

    "That New Pop Song Is Sooo Bad"

    "That New Pop Song Is Sooo Bad"

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    #71

    "I'm Allergic To _____."

    "I'm Allergic To _____."

    Report

    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    I am allergic. My aunt is allergic to dairy, yeast, most fruits. And nuts. It's difficult to find things she can eat at family dinner.

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    #72

    "I Weigh ____ Pounds"

    "I Weigh ____ Pounds"

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    #73

    "My Kid Is Sick"

    "My Kid Is Sick"

    Report

    #74

    "I've Had ____ Partners"

    "I've Had ____ Partners"

    Report

    #75

    "I Didn't Throw It Away"

    "I Didn't Throw It Away"

    Report

    #76

    "Let's Revisit This Later"

    "Let's Revisit This Later"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Never.

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    #77

    "I Can Have It Done By Tomorrow"

    "I Can Have It Done By Tomorrow"

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    #78

    "My Favorite Novel? It's A Tossup Between 'Moby-Dick' And 'Infinite Jest'"

    "My Favorite Novel? It's A Tossup Between 'Moby-Dick' And 'Infinite Jest'"

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    Wolfwarlord
    Community Member
    12 months ago

    I just read manga and the old star wars legends books

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    #79

    "I'm From Canada"

    "I'm From Canada"

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    OnAFreakingRollercoaster
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    What if ... I actually am from Canada 🤔

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    #80

    "I Didn't Work That Closely With Them"

    "I Didn't Work That Closely With Them"

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    #81

    "We Don't Have The Budget For That"

    "We Don't Have The Budget For That"

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    lauralett50
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    Tell they roll up in a Bentley , Austin Martin.

    #82

    "I Was Going To Say That!"

    "I Was Going To Say That!"

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    Community Member
    3 years ago

    "Sandwhiches?" ThAtS wHaT i WaS gOnNa SaY