Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Swear words and insults are an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s hard to imagine humanity ever becoming so peaceful and kind that nobody would ever have anything bad to say about anyone else. There’s always going to be friction. Different perspectives, values, and agendas are always going to clash.
But for some people, simple and direct insults, though powerful, can get pretty mundane. User u/CoatedTrout4 recently inspired the r/AskReddit community to share their favorite subtle and creative insults that are beyond devastating. We’ve collected some of their most imaginative ones to share with you. Scroll down to check them out! Though, keep in mind, insulting someone 'for fun' is a great way to lose friends—it's not something to be played around with.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...
Bored Panda got in touch with licensed professional counselor Rodney Luster, Ph.D., for his thoughts on why some people go for subtle insults. He also shared his advice on how we can all be more emotionally resilient, no matter the criticism that we face. Dr. Luster is the host of the 'More Than a Feeling' blog on Psychology Today and the founder of 'Inspirethought.'
"How and why people choose things is sometimes motivated by deeper, unconscious elements," Dr. Luster told Bored Panda via email.
“In a case where people interweave a criticism, it could be because of the Shadow Self. As Jung suggested, the ‘dark’ aspect of ourselves that is part of our unconscious is acting out, so we attempt to disown the ‘shadow’ in us by criticizing others,” he said.
"For those that do it less conspicuously, it might also be a passive way to tell someone how they really feel about them, disguising it in hidden language."
RELATED:
#2
(After a tirade or rude remark) "Are you okay", spoken with the deepest sincerity.
#3
You're difficult to underestimate.
We asked Dr. Luster about becoming more resilient to any criticism thrown our way. He suggested a few things that we can do when we face criticism.
“Try to be aware of your defensiveness creeping up and attempt to remove your own connection by looking more closely at the underlying emotions and motives of the critic,” he told Bored Panda.
#4
When I was living I the UK I learned my favourite, most polite roast, of all times: "You are so brave to say that". I love British sarcasm.
#5
Working with you is like working by myself, but harder.
#6
The best line I heard was in a gym car park. A martial arts instructor was reversing his car and was nearly upended by a mid-40s feral in lycra on her P plates. She was looking for an argument and chose a soft target - country of origin based on appearance and skin colour. She fired off all insults based around the subject of "go back to where you came from". The guy, who I perceived to be much older, said, "In my country, abortion is illegal. But with you, we can make an exception.".
Dr. Luster added that we can also 'scrub' the words. "Look beneath the critical words for the productive element if there is one."
You can also reframe the criticism. "We get to choose how to contextually situate this in our brain," he said.
"I like to use the following analogy: You can choose to see your house in a few ways. You can go outside and stand in front of it, or you can look at it from Google Maps. Both are true versions, but you choose the one that you would rather see. Same thing here: choose the best picture of what you heard and see it for any opportunity that helps or not."
#7
Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.
#8
Had this rude girl at work a few years back, who thought she was so hot and perfect and.. well you know the type. Anyway, one day I got sick of her attitude and said, “ Kendra, what’s it like being like the third hottest girl here?”
Drove her mad.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Finishing as high as third in a hotness contest is on my bucket list.
#9
Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.
There’s definitely a time and a place for swear words and insults. Swearing can relieve or distract us from pain, relieve stress, and even showcase linguistic creativity. However, you should not go around insulting everyone around you all day long just because you enjoy the rush. You’ll soon find that you no longer have any friends left!
However, a well-placed verbal jab or some witty banter can add color to everyone’s life. Especially if the other person has a good sense of humor and a dash of self-awareness to be able to laugh at themselves, too. Maybe they can appreciate how playful and intelligent your insult was. Of course, this only applies to situations where the person throwing around the insults isn’t completely mean-spirited.
#10
I don't.respect you enough for you to hurt my feelings.
WindySwede 1 year ago
So true in some cases. Just laughable, and do the "outkeen them" from Seinfeld.
#11
I had a really self-obsessed grade 12 student start bragging about how good looking he was, trying to get some girls’ attention. He said “people always tell me I look like a model.” I was at my desk marking, while the students were *supposed to be* working and, without even looking up I piped in with “Yah, a hand model.” His friends roared with laughter and I got many high fives. Even from the “model” kid.
Unfortunately, there will always be people who put others down to boost their own egos. They might have problems with self-esteem or self-image. But instead of working through their problems, they lash out at the world. Some folks become outright bullies. Others embrace passive aggression.
Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University, argues that it’s not actually direct insults that do us the most harm. As it turns out, we’re most unsettled by casual put-downs because they catch us off guard.
According to the professor, subtle criticisms can be hidden or implied, take on the guise of a false compliment, or even masquerade as someone pretending to be concerned.
#14
“You two look gorgeous” in the comments section of a social media post of a picture with 3 women in it.
#15
I work at a grocery store that has a "senior day" once a month (they receive 10% off their entire order, includng alcohol and tobacco). I had a very rude young lady in my lane (probably late 30s). I added the senior discount, she saw it, and I said "I'm not quite sure if you qualify for the senior discount, but I gave it to you just in case. That's 10% off your purchase Have a nice day!" The look on her face was priceless. 😉.
However, subtle insults aren’t all-powerful. A lot depends on how you react to them. Or, to put it another way: is an insult still an insult if the person being insulted doesn’t feel insulted?
Professor Kraft urges people to first of all identify the hidden or implied insults. You can then directly confront the other person with a simple question and brief conversation. Or you move past the put-down by throwing out a general reply.
Alternatively, you could always downplay the put-down. For instance, you can acknowledge the insult and then either disagree with it or amplify it. If you throw some verbal playfulness into the mix, you can show that you’re not bothered.
#16
You seem like the kind of guy who would be embarrassed to buy tampons for his girlfriend.
#18
Five years ago, I met up with a friend. I asked her how my eyebrows were ( I had just waxed them and done them nicely). Her response: "I like the left one."
Still remember that.
At the end of the day, though, it’s up to each of us to decide who we spend time with. If we’re constantly dealing with a barrage of snarky remarks, maybe it’s time to focus on better friends.
What's the most subtle but powerful insult you've ever heard, Pandas? Which of the put-downs in this post would you ever use in real life and why? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
#19
I'm close to my sister and her friends. I've unironically heard, "I like how you'll just wear anything" after they spent the past hour getting ready.
#20
Never underestimate the power of okay: “You’re ugly” okay “You’re stupid” okay “You’ll never be cool” okay Stops them in their tracks and makes them look weird as hell for saying it in the first place.
#21
Man, I wish I had your confidence.
Also, one I always remember from xkcd: “the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.”.
#22
To someone who's yelling at you "Oh wow, big feelings!!".
Cleo Bean 1 year ago
Or use toddler de-escalation tactics. For example, (in the most sickly sweet and annoying presence you can muster) "Wow, I can see we're having some big angry feelings right now! Let's blow out our cake candles and take some deep breaths!" Pissed off several people but still no repercussions.
#23
I think you are talking about things that you don’t have the capacity to understand. It went right over his head.
#24
Couldn't say it better than Ron Swanson
"When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.".
WindySwede 1 year ago
They beeing friendly, Ron then beeing an jerk. That's just rude, not an comeback?
#25
Man, you're making that look real difficult.
𝙻𝚞𝚗𝚊⋆𝚝𝚑𝚎⋆𝙵𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚢 1 year ago
Make sure to put extra emphasis on “real”, like “Man, you’re making that look **reeaal** difficult.”
#26
“Everyone was right about you.”.
#27
I heard a kid say this before: "You know I bet you eat your cereal with water, 'cause your dad never came back with the milk." Kinda basic but it hit the other guy hard.
#29
You have not been cursed with knowledge.
Manana Man 1 year ago
"Life must be much easier for you without the burden of self awareness."
#30
You might be smart enough to be a bimbo, but the looks just don't qualify.
#31
I’ve always liked, “you’re at the top of the bell curve.” .
#32
My days of not respecting you certainly are coming to a middle.
BoredBranzino 1 year ago
This is a line from the TV show "Firefly", said by Malcom Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) to Jayne Cobb (Adam Baldwin), episode: "Our Mrs. Reynolds"
#33
As a woman, you have to be very careful when you use this one, but anything “oh wow are you trying something new with your makeup? (Or hair or insert something) Oh no it doesn’t look bad- it’s just interesting.” Did that to a girl who was bullying a friend of mine, she immediately shut up and seemed self conscious.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Insulting people based on appearance is low. Having a comeback when they're being mean is entertaining.
#34
“You look tired.”.
OhnoI’vebeencensored 1 year ago
Well yes. I have small children. And yes, I’m aware that I brought this on myself.
#35
First of all, clean your teeth.
#36
You are not the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.
#37
“He’s unburdened by the complications of a university education.”
Stolen from What We Do In The Shadows.
#38
I love the way you don't care what anybody thinks.
#40
Ever been hit by the Gen Z special? “I love that for you!” Said with all the fake enthusiasm you can muster. Gut shot, every time.
#41
My brother told me that i looked easy to draw and i was too stunned to even say anything lmao.
#42
I have a beard that takes a bit to fully grow in. When I trim it down, it looks neater but for the first day or so it has spots that aren't as full as others. I went to a wedding for my wife's friend and one girl there said to me "I like your little beard or whatever that is" and it destroyed me. This was 5+ years ago and it still bothers me and affects my shaving routine.
#45
Walk away without a response.
#47
Wow, is that your real laugh?
hockeygorl 1 year ago
i silent laugh from years of trying not to laugh at inappropriate jokes the boys on my team make
#50
I'll say one that destroyed me. Overhead someone tell my ex girlfriend "you could do better." In reference to me. She eventually cheated on me btw.
#51
Is that what you are wearing?
Tina Girard 1 year ago
Warning: If spoken by a husband to a wife, this could be grounds for divorce.
#55
What’s the matter with your hair today?
#56
Any insult said by a little kid.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
Our then 4yo pointed to a skin-tone mole on my mum's chin and asked "why do you have a nipple on your face?" I didn't learn this story till about a week later Mum came to visit with a bandage on her chin from having her mole removed. She said the plastic surgeon told her they get a LOT of references due to grandkids. Yikes.
#57
Boomer at work hit me with, “Damn, I bet your father wishes he had a son.” With the “let me show you how it’s done before you hurt yourself” kind of disapproving head shake and hand gesture. Said while I was clearly lacking the strength to complete a basic mechanical task in front of a group of coworkers. Ouch.
Tabitha 1 year ago (edited)
This one’s just the result of believing all that alpha male b******t, and not being smart enough to stay current about the reason it became a thing. The researchers who coined that phrase have now admitted, after further research, that they were dead wrong—-which is exactly what research is for. Even a failed experiment isn’t really a failure, because proving your hypothesis wrong is a gain in knowledge. But I digress. There is NO alpha—-or beta—-male or female in a pack of wolves. The lead couple are actually just whichever pair is presently mating. They get to choose where the pack goes for food, etc, and once they’re done mating, the next pair that’s ready to mate gets their turn to lead.
#58
My niece jiggled my belly and then called me fat lmao.
#59
I just cooked dinner for my wife, she casually remarked after eating ‘shame the restaurant was closed today’.
What do you think ?
Ranger Kanootsen 1 year ago
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. - Bilbo Baggins
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
Never say that to a drunken crowd of hobbits.
Load More Replies...
V H 1 year ago
These are all rude ways of looking smart without actually saying anything useful. Oh and they're a great way to seriously hurt people
Auntriarch 1 year ago
You're being too kind, only about five if them were even smart
Load More Replies... Ranger Kanootsen 1 year ago
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. - Bilbo Baggins
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
Never say that to a drunken crowd of hobbits.
Load More Replies... V H 1 year ago
These are all rude ways of looking smart without actually saying anything useful. Oh and they're a great way to seriously hurt people
Auntriarch 1 year ago
You're being too kind, only about five if them were even smart
Load More Replies...
Related on Bored Panda
