When it comes to taking care of your health, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Not sure if that fever you’ve had for a few days is a simple virus or something more insidious? When in doubt, just visit a doctor.
But occasionally, we end up at a clinic or in the emergency room for reasons that we may be embarrassed to explain to the doctors… Or reasons we made up in the first place.
Reddit users have recently been confessing the stupidest reasons they’ve ever ended up in the hospital, so you’ll find some of their funniest and most ridiculous stories below. Enjoy reading through these reminders to stay safe out there, folks, and be sure to upvote the tales that you find most amusing!
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So, I had this in grown hair from shaving my balls. I noticed it in the shower and figured I'd go ahead and pop that.
A few days later, my balls are in extreme pain, I decided that I'd go to a walk in clinic and get checked out. FYI, there is no dignified way to tell someone that you have very sore and very swollen nuts, but I did my best. I go see the doc and show him what's up, he says in an alarmingly concerned tone, "Oh that is very infected". He asks what happened and I tell him, he informs me that you should never pop any ingrown hair, but especially in that region, because if it doesn't pop, the infection goes inside.
He gives me some medication and informs me that I may develop an abscess, and if it does, to come back and he'll drain it.
So I do the medical regime he prescribed, and it starts to feel mildly better after a couple of days. I get out of the shower and notice that the area has indeed formed an abscess. It looks like a piece of raw chicken skin and I think, I can probably just knock that off and, before I know it, it is off.
Blood.
But also, no more pain. I'm feeling pretty good about myself, already with a jaunty song in my heart I'm ready to start my day - that is until I see the dime sized hole in my s*****m.
After the panic finally subsidies, I realize I can't just put on clothes, as something might get in there. I find a bandage that'll cover it and head to the emergency room.
Much like telling someone your balls and very sore and swollen, there is no dignified way to tell anyone you have a dime sized hole in your sack. However, fun fact, if you tell someone you have a hole in your s*****m, YOU GO TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE!
So, I leap frog ahead of a bunch of old ladies to get an ultrasound, all of which are glaring at me. They slather me up and take a look. I asked them if it was twins, they do not laugh.
So after having my balls handled by no less than 7 people, which is normally a pretty awesome Friday night, I figure I'm patched up enough to go home, but they tell me I have to wait for a urologist. This takes some time and I'm curious as to what they're looking for.
Oh. Well, we just want to make sure there are no signs of gangrene or flesh eating disease. Ah. Ok. Uh. Great.
They check me over, admonish me a few more times for squeezing an in grown hair, and tell me that as long as I take all my meds, I should be alright, which I was.
Worst birthday ever.
My weiner turned puffy and red for seemingly no reason. Had to fly to a wedding next morning and freaked out. Asked my gf to drive me to hospital. Nurse asked me if I had been eating spicy foods. Yes, I had been eating hot wings, and I must have held my weiner to urinate prior to washing my hands. Nurse gave me a benadryl and told me to chill. I later requested the nurse's notes for my records, they're hilarious.
I took my daughter to the hospital after she had been puking for 12 hours, Nurse was making me feel really stupid. My daughter threw up all over the nurses computer. She took us right back to a room after that.
We reached out to the Reddit user who posed the question, "What is the stupidest reason you went to the hospital?" and lucky for us, they were happy to have a chat with Bored Panda. The curious person, u/lugulaga, shared that they were inspired to start this conversation because they wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who had been to the hospital for a silly reaosn. "Turns out there were a lot," they noted.
About 24-years ago, I ate almost a whole quart of Korean kimchi for dinner. It was so peppery, spicy and so good, I just couldn’t stop eating it.
That night, I experienced the most excruciating stomach pains, much worse than when my appendix burst 10-years ago. It was so bad, I stripped off all my clothes and sat in my boxer briefs on my front porch step writhing in agony holding my now bloated stomach.
My wife finally took me to the ER and they put an IV in my arm with some pain killer and admitted me for a 23-hour observation. As the night went on, the pain subsided and I finally started feeling better.
Fast forward to the morning and I was feeling much better and pretty much back to normal. As the hospital was preparing to discharge me, the night shift was replaced by the daylight shift and a few nurses came in to check on me followed by the new attending ER doctor, a Korean! 😳
He was smiling, chuckling and laughing telling me I had suffered from “kimchiitis” and proceeded to lecture me that kimchi is supposed to be a side dish to a meal, and not the main course! I really made his day, and everyone, including my sleep-deprived wife who sat with me the whole night, were laughing, shaking their heads, and grinning at my stupidity.
To this day, I still wonder if that Korean ER doctor used my case as one of his funniest ER stories.
I had kimchi for the first time ever like 2-3 months ago, it was good, but very spicy
Hiccups that lasted 24 hrs, stopped right when the doctor stepped in the room. Lol
I don’t know if anyone else can relate to this, but this is like when something isn’t working and it only starts working once your mom/dad comes in, which has happened to me, a lot
It's the same as when your computer doesn't work, but as soon as an IT guy sits to it, it miraculously starts fumctioning again
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I have a similar problem, but in reverse: when a nurse or doctor checks my pressure, it's too high. Normally it's on the low side. After one doctor ordered a 24h blood pressure monitor which came back normal, I have a diagnosis of "white coat hypertension" in my chart :D
Weird one, but a quick cure for hiccups is a teaspoon of vinegar (lemon juice works sometimes). I suggested it to my husband (he suffers with them a LOT) and he refused thinking it was stupid. 2 hours of hiccups and he tried it just to prove it didn't work. It worked, hiccups went straight away, now any time he gets them he heads for the vinegar!
A man I nursed had a stomach operation. He woke up with hiccups that must have been excruciatingly painful. After 3 days, they took him back to the OR operated again and cured him.
It's a running joke at the offices that everything needs my presence to work properly. All I have to do is show up and whatever problem was there, magically disappears
Car engine knocks stop as soon as the mechanic is there to check it ou. That's life, hehe
Same thing happened to me when I had kidney stones for the first time. Was in horrible pain went to the ER. By the time I got in a room and when the doctor came in i had already passed it
I had hiccups for almost 3 days, then I heard something on the radio about curing hiccups: putting a pencil/pen horizontally in your mouth and drinking water upside down (using your top lip as the bottom lip) over a sink. I failed doing it properly the first time, but it magically worked and the hiccups stopped!
Same happened to my grandfather, only in his case it were three days.
"I once dropped a knife, which mildly cut a part of my chest. I lied on how I got the cut to my doctor," the OP admitted.
We were also curious what lugulaga thought of all of the stories readers shared on their post. "All of the responses were unique, and I enjoyed reading them," they said. "However, one that stood out to me was a comment about a user's friend who swallowed a 50 cent piece to win a bet."
Went? I go once or twice a week for being f*****g stupid again and locking myself out of the apartment! The staff in the reception must look at me and my dog everytime thinking "there goes the clown again lel"
My wife works at the hospital, I go there to borrow her keys
Wife passed out on deck of community pool and when she came to, she could barely move/speak.
Took her to hospital. Docs couldn’t figure out what was going on, even after blood tests, but after a few hours in ER waiting room, she started to get better.
We were staying at friend’s parent’s place, while they out of town. Turns out, wife ate a cookie from the freezer that she didn’t know was heavily laced with Cannabis.
We realized what had happened the next day when she ate another cookie, and this time gave me some.
We also asked the OP if they had any advice for avoiding future stupid trips to the hospital. Although they warned us that they're not a professional, lugulaga did note that "most of the comments were caused by overreaction to a pain that they had experienced. So not overreacting and assessing the situation could help."
My husband went because he was in extreme pain and thought he was having a heart attack. Turns out it was wind. He just needed a good fart.
I’m an er doc.
About once a year I see a very nice young female who comes to the er with three or four family members because her fingers are blue. They have always googled all sorts of fancy and exotic diseases that they are worried about. 100% of the time the patient has brand new blue jeans on.
Without saying a word I just grab an alcohol swab and wipe the blue dye off of their hands, and then I do the same thing to their jeans to show them it’s the same color.
The collective sigh from the family is always what does it for me.
Not surprisingly, half the time the patient doesn’t believe me and is angry that “we did nothing.”
Butt cheek injuries caused by a door.
I hate touching door knobs with my hands and always use my forearm to rub against the doorknob in a downward motion using friction to turn the k**b. Was joking around with my gf saying I can open a door with my buttcheek exactly like how I use my forearm. Jumped at the door butt first and the little metal thing that guides the door cut my buttcheek (i think they call it strike plate or latch strike). The cut wasn’t a clean cut because the thing wasn’t that sharp. 30+ stitches.
After that she had to stand behind me holding a bowl to cover my wound every time I take a shower so it doesn’t get wet, and we live in a hot country so she has to do that twice a day for like a month.
Broke my hip…
…Getting up from the couch.
It was already really f****d up thanks to a medication I’d been on for years and hurt like a bastard. When it finally snapped I didn’t think “S**T! My hip broke!” I thought “S**t! This thing’s acting up!”
Turns out the bone was necrotic and released a massive infection into my system, I woke up from a medically induced coma a month later with no idea how I wound up in the hospital.
Edit: Wow, woke up from a nap to see a ton of replies and upvotes! Thanks, everyone!
Edit 2: Just started replying to everyone’s questions but the gist is this:
1. Prednisone (steroid used for rheumatoid arthritis) is what ruined my hip. I had a doctor who claimed it was “safer” than the pain meds I was on at the time…I *really* disagree with him after all that.
2. My Dad was the one who called the ambulance a few days after it happened since I passed out from exhaustion (only place I felt remotely comfortable was my PC chair and was stuck there for a whole night, he moved me to the living room couch where I finally got some sleep) and spiked a fever.
3. Doing SO much better now. I got my hip and a few other joints replaced over the next couple years. I’m still in pain from my rheumatoid arthritis but its a million times more manageable than it was before. Plus I have much more competent doctors who are willing to listen to my concerns instead of the guy who put me on prednisone and said “Which one of us has the medical degree? Yeah, I thought so, do what I say.”
In fact my current pain management doctor told me to stay away from steroids like prednisone completely- They also ruined my bone density, among a couple other problems we’re hoping to fix or at least manage. He’s awesome, the total opposite of the guy who put me on prednisone.
Thanks, everyone for the replies and upvotes!
Pain on my left pelvic side. Had it every now and then but it would get intense. Went to ER and they ran all sorts of tests. Nothing came back indicating why. Finally, months later, it occurred to me that it was ovulation pain. Taught me DRs need more education about women’s health.
I don't think it's a lack of education; more like a lack of interest in the subject.
Not me but i had to pick up a mate who swallowed a 50c piece to win a $2 bet. If you don't know, an Australian 50c is quite large. They had to do an endoscopy to get it out. They let him keep the black corroded coin too.
When I was a kid, I didn’t like pooping because I never felt like I was clean enough after wiping my butt. Not sure why really, I wasn’t ocd or anything but I didn’t like it; so I decided to stop pooping. Whenever I had to poop, I’d just hold it or go out and play and eventually the urge would go away.
Well, I woke up in the middle of the night, one night, and I literally couldn’t breathe. I ran into my parents room and woke them up just gasping for air until I passed out. They rushed me to the hospital and I started being able to breathe again on the ride there. They did some blood work and an x-ray and saw in the x-ray that my colon was so backed up with poo that the poo was blocking my lungs, especially after laying in my bed sleeping for a few hours, which is why I woke up and couldn’t breathe. My poo impacted colon was basically pushing against my lungs so I couldn’t inflate them when I tried to breathe in.
They gave me some ex lax and had to bring in a stool sample for the next couple months, I guess for some sort of testing, but never had a problem after that. I just learned that the poo has to go somewhere so I better get used to pooping. Waking up and not being able to breathe was one of the scariest things I’ve been through
one of my dogs attacked the other and in an effort to break them up, i stuck my hand inside the angry dogs mouth. ended up with 6 stitches in my hand and 2 days off work.
don’t stick your hand inside an angry dogs mouth. ever.
I raise your dog for a crazed squirrel. Looked out to my bird feeder and there is a squirrel hanging from the nut basket making the most horrendous squealing sound. I went out, to discover that it had got its front teeth jammed with the wire stuck fast in the middle of them.(At this point should have gone for leather gloves) Cradled his little body so maybe he could pull his teeth away.....and Yes! It worked, whereupon he spun round and buried his teeth clean through the fleshy part of my palm. I ran round the garden like a loon shaking my hand back and forth trying to get him to loosen his vice like grip. Oh how the nurse laughed as she gave me a tetanus jab.
When I was 10, I wanted to go to my friend's house. My older sister who was watching me at the time wouldn't let me, so I did the reasonable thing and jumped out my second floor window. You wouldn't be surprised to learn I spent most of my childhood grounded.
Migraine that presented as body numbness. Got a 3-day workup for a stroke to find out that I not only have migraines but an aneurysm. So thank you, migraines, for saving my life.
Doesn't sound like a stupid reason for going to a hospital. Didn't these posters read the brief?
Once at work I pooped so hard when I stood up I fainted. I woke up in the hospital with a massive goose egg and a dislocated collar bone. I needed a cat scan and physio. All because I pooped too hard.
You stimulated your vagal nerve which controls heart rate among other things. It happens.
When I was 8 I was bored so I got a bottle of Gatorade from my pantry and grabbed a kitchen knife then proceeded to stab it over the sink to see how easily the knife would go through the thicker plastic of the bottle…almost lost my thumb
My poop was violently, aggressively, dark red. For the record, I did *not* know that would happen if you ate a whole jar of pickled beets, and I learned that it is *not always a good idea to say the first things that come to mind!* (Yay ADHD?)
A bat landed on my head while i was asleep. Rabies shots all around!
My then 2 year old daughter shoved a broken crayon up her nose. It took a week, we saw 2 doctor's then a trip to the ER with no luck. The ER doctor actually managed to shove it in farther. I finally was able to get an appointment with a pediatric ear, nose and throat doctor who had it out in about 60 seconds. She's in her 20s now and i still tease her about it. Oh, and the crayon? It was green.
Once during breakfast, my nephew sneezed and a spaghetto from the night before came out of his nose! he was 4-5, now he's 20 and we still tease him about it!
I bumped chests with a guy I was in a play with. He was a friend of mine and he was significantly larger than me. I was playing the part of a large guy and had my clothes padded down to make me look larger. We thought it would be funny to bump chests but he went running towards me and I stopped my ground and he hit me so hard it gave me something called pneumothorax which is when oxygen gets forced out of your lungs and into your blood. I had no idea I had it at first but at the cast party that night I felt a buzzing in my throat as I spoke. I ended up getting rushed to the hospital where they diagnosed it and I had to stay a day with oxygen treatment. My buddy felt bad but we just laughed it off. He was a very well spoken guy, he was like a nice version of Sheldon in big bang theory. After high school he disappeared and I wish I had kept in touch. I'd love to give him an award saying "to the one person who ever landed me in the hospital".
I was a single mom with my first baby, parents had passed away and I was genuinely alone. The baby projectile vomited so I called an ambulance......... I took my baby to the hospital because he threw up.
You know those warnings on Viagra that say if an erection lasts more than 4 hrs. seek medical attention? Yeah that happened when I was 20! If you don't need it, don't take Viagra if you're healthy and young 🤦🏾
OMG had a friend that was an ER nurse.... This was nearly an epidemic in my town
Im an RN at a level one trauma hospital. I had been feeling really anxious for a couple days. Im at work in the middle of the night and my chest starts feeling tight and my arms are going numb and I feel dizzy. My co-workers urge me to go the ER, which is packed and smells like BO. Took a nap in the room while I waited and when I woke up I felt fine. Labs, ECG, everything look good.
Im 99% sure I just had a panic attack and in hindsight, it makes sense, I had been very anxious. Im an RN and couldn’t recognize my own panic attack. I felt very silly.
When I was about 3, I was running up the stairs in my house and fell. I hit my chin on a step and bit my tongue nearly off.
My parents took me to the local hospital where they sewed up the gash in my tongue *without anesthetic*. I still remember it to this day.
When I was 3, I lied to my mom that I had swallowed a penny. I told her I found the penny on the floor and ate it. We went to Bellevue in NYC, and we were in the waiting room a looooong time. She was tired from work, hadn't eaten, and after x-ray I had to fess up that I didn't swallow a penny. I don't believe she ever forgave me, and she certainly didn't believe what I said about much of anything, going forward.
Not me, but my kid complained of their throat hurting and was absolutely DISTRAUGHT and said they didn’t know why it was hurting… we went to the ER turns out they told the doctor they had eaten some M&Ms (they had snuck and didn’t want to tell me) and turns out the shell of one had just scratched their throat. 🤦🏼♀️
Went to a greek restaurant. got the greek salad, which had anchovies (I love them). after dinner, felt like something was in my throat, scratchng it. Waited a day, still having problems. Went to ER, they could not find anything, got admitted, had surgery, small anchovie bone stuck in throat. LOL
First weekend at boarding school, glued my eye shut with nail glue (fingernail). The wait at the ER was so long it just opened on its own and we went back to school hahaha
Christmas Day, I dislocated my knee attempting to kick my brother during a sparring match. Needless to say my martial arts career was over.
I believe the pain is horrific, and the relocation is worse. But also, instant relief once it's done. It's one of those that, in the UK at least, paramedics will do in the field. Not only is it much less torturous to just sort it than try to transport someone with a dislocated knee, but it makes the transport easier too.
I got my diva cup stuck
Ah, this happened to me too. I was totally panicked but then I got myself together and pushed a few times, took a few deep breaths and crouched down and got it out. It creates such a negative pressure (vacuum) that sometimes it's difficult to release. A significantly easier case than the time when the tampon string broke.
Years ago…I drink too much brandy, and swear on my life that I am dying. I call 9-1-1 and tell them to pick me up because I swear I’m dying. After all, my heart is racing like a b***h.
It is the dead of winter.
I run outside in my shorts and slippers. Blizzard outside. I see the ambulance coming. I wave my hand up 🙋♂️.
They pull over towards me. They open the door. Both paramedics look confused as f**k.
“Uh, we got a call about someone—you? Saying they think they are dying? “
“YEAH I THINK I DRANK TOO MUCH BRO.”
“Uh, we can take your vitals if you want.”
They take my vitals. I’m not dying.
“You’re not dying. But, ah…you look kinda worried. We can take you to the hospital if you want.”
“YES PLEASE.”
I puke on the way there.
I crash there for the night.
Wake up with the best after glow in my life.
Stop drinking after that.
when i was younger i desperately wanted to be a doctor (still do) and so i faked a sprained arm so i could see the action of doctors helping hurt people, i was so thrilled and just wanting to do the same. not proud of it, took up an er seat, cost my parents money, and took help and beds from other people who needed them.
I didn’t wanna go to school so I faked being unconscious for 5 mins.
Sternum rub is the best way to check for someone being fake unconscious or lift their arm over their face and let go, most people won't let their arm hit their face.
Coughed really hard and hit my head on a granite table. Got a nice head laceration with lots of blood.
While sitting on my sofa, I felt something on my foot. Looked down and it was a big fuzzy caterpillar. Have no idea how it got into the house. I instinctively kicked my leg to shake it off and completely threw out my back. Could not move, on flexeril and rest for days.
I got an earplug stuck in my ear. Since this was after hours most urgent care facilities were closed so I felt I had to go to the hospital.
The initial attempt for them to remove it failed, so after leaving me alone for another hour with this throbbing pain, they returned with a surgical alligator clip thing and it was successful.
The gross charges were $10k for that or something, which my insurance paid. America's healthcare is f***ed.
When I was a kid, my dad used to take me to the park to practice soccer on days when I didn’t practice bc I was really into it. One day I tripped, he tumbled over me, and screwed up my finger. He was a skater in his younger years, and was used to seeing sprains and dislocated fingers, so he thought it was just a matter of popping it back into place. It was not, it was definitely broken, and he definitely made it worse. My mom still makes fun of him for it 20 years later.
I got stuck in my moms womb for 9 months or so. What a dumb fetus I was.
Only a problem when you get to ten months. Then they have to send in a team to retrieve you... ask my son!
I was a house party, all the bathrooms were full. Went outside, decided I should crawl under the porch to pee. Everything went well until I tripped on the way out and rolled my ankle. Shrugged it off, limped back upstairs and someone said "Your ankle is broken". Sure enough, bone stickin out. DD took me to the hospital and got me ice cream on the way home. I miss you, Kyle. You're the best.
How the fuuuuuuck do you not notice a bone sticking out. Well to be fair I once saw a dude kick his toe so hard it broke and then continued partying until he literally lost it. Like lost it somewhere in the crowd. Just partied without a toe for the rest of the weekend. He was on some heavy drugs, and judging by the lack of awareness of the missing toe, I'd say they were pretty damn strong.
When I was 12 I got into an argument with my sister over kittens and she slammed our glass door so violently my hand went right through it and I sliced open my wrist. Doctors said 1 mm deeper and I’d have been a goner. I still have the scar
To answer questions: she was screaming at me that the kittens weren’t mine because she did all the work. To this day neither of us knows why she did this. I put in just as much work as her, if not more. They were family cats, a litter of kittens that was born in our barn from a stray that we kept.
I would have to say no one won 😂
You didn't keep the kitty, she graced you with her presence. When my kids argue over who owns our cats, I tell them they are the cats' humans.
I was like 16 or 17, doing dishes one night when I still lived at home, and I passed out. I also ended up slamming my head on the ground. I woke up to my parents with the paramedics propping me up on our recliner. After I barely responded to any stimuli, they rushed me to the hospital to figure out what was wrong.
I’m getting my shirt cut open, there’s wires being hooked up to me and a catheter gets shoved in, not fun when you can still feel pain but not react. I get intubated on Monday? And wake up Wednesday still in the hospital. Once I woke up, my parents tell me everything. Apparently once I was out at the hospital, I had a massive allergic reaction to the anesthetic they gave me and i broke out in hives. So that took a whole day to fix, and they still had no idea why I passed out. They did x-rays and scans and saw no damage to my head from hitting the ground, but the doctors realized I was severely backed up in my intestines.
So once I was stable enough for the doctors, you know what they did? Enema. For anyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of getting one, they basically shoot a water solution straight up your butt and ask to hold for 10 minutes before you go. I think I held it for maybe 5 before rushing for the bathroom. To this date, that was one of the longest and most painful bout of a**l evacuation I’ve ever had. Somehow I was so backed up that my body couldn’t handle it. Now I poop daily to never have to deal with that level of drama, and embarrassment, again.
Stabbed myself in the eardrum with a bamboo skewer because I'm obviously an idiot
An idiot who doesn't know that, in the US, there is a giant difference in price between "the doctor" and "the hospital"
Passed out. While inside of the hospital watching my friend’s blood being drawn. The nurses just picked me up and plopped me on the empty bed beside her.
I was with my mom and my younger sister and me and my sis were there to get vaccinated, and while I got the shot I was perfectly fine, but when I saw my sister get it, my vision went completely black and I almost fainted. I wonder why this happens
So I was on a ski trip, I was just standing, but I lost my balance, idk how, I fell on the ground, my leg twisted 180° and before anyone got to me my tibia broke
Kayaking in flood water rapids for the first time on a river. I didn't actually screw up, but my brother did. He went ahead of me and when I came around the corner I saw him stuck sideways on some brush that outlined the only path through. I had to try a route way up against the side and a little rock peeking out. Well, it wasn't a little rock, but a boulder. I flipped and was underwater. I put my arm down to prop myself up so I could breathe and at that time the kayak filled with water and went downstream with my body inside, arm stuck on a rock. Ripped my arm off to the point the only thing holding it on was the skin. I had to have a 7 hour surgery to repair everything that was torn.
A piece of popcorn was stuck in the back of my throat
Asthma attack that my inhaler couldn't get under control. Turned out the hotel had a mold problem and the spores were setting me off.
Severe asthmatic here. That ER visit probably saved your life, not a stupid reason at all. Breathing is necessary.
Ripped my esophagus in a freak swallowing accident. Bought me three days in the ICU.
I p****d myself and thought my water broke. 🤷♀️ Oh the joys of pregnancy.
You are not the only one that's happened to. Babies put weight on the bladder and loss of bladder control is not uncommon in late pregnancy. Also peeing feels different when you're pregnant.
I got too high and drank too many energy drinks when vacationing in the mountains. Thought I was dying, turns out it was just elevation sickness that turned into a panic attack.
I was working as a ticket caller/window cook on a kitchen line with another window cook, he was opening a bag of soup with a knife as I was reaching up to grab an order ticket coming in, he ran right through the bag of soup and just stabbed me, right above the elbow all the way to the bone. I drove myself to the hospital, and the restaurant covered the bill thankfully.
When my neck didn't hurt from a car accident but everyone I knew was insisting I go to the hospital and have them check. Everyone in the hospital treated me terribly because they thought I was faking the whole thing for an insurance scam. I had to show a nurse my bruise across my body from the seatbelt and a photo of the car before she believed me, this was after seeing a Dr who had already seen the bruise.
Cleaning the patio and putting away cushions/pillows before a rain storm. Felt a bite between my thumb and forefinger, right in the webbing between them. Saw a huge spider that looked like a black widow, but I couldn't find it again to confirm. About 10 seconds later, before I could really react and think through what to do, my dog's lead snapped from its stake in the yard (very old lead!) and I had to quickly grab it as he sprang after a squirrel- using the hand I got bit on.
Within a few min, my hand was purple and I was in extreme pain- swollen, awful. Whole nine. We rush to the ER, get inspected. Turns out it was just really bad rope burn from the dog's lead... :')
I almost sliced my finger off with a deli slicer almost immediety after telling my trainer that i think cleaning it this way is going to get someone hurt.
I have heart disease, and sometimes when things give my heart a shock, I get thrown into irregular heartbeat called “atrial fibrillation”. There can be different triggers for this that I try to avoid: booze, tobacco, etc, but the stupidest one is slushies/icies. I’ve been to the hospital several times over them.
When I was 11, my parents rushed me to the ER with severe pain in my side. During check in, my parents pushed for a doctor to see me right away in fear it could be my appendix. So I was given a room. Turns out, this was my 1st experience with menstrual cramps. Lmao. I was 11. Who knew, right?
Sometimes its a matter of not knowing the right questions to ask
Severe unexplained chest pain. Turned out I pulled a muscle in my chest using my asthma inhaler
Terrible chronic nosebleeds from my CPAP machine's humidifier not being enough moisture for my little b***h of a deviated septum. I don't have a big weight issue but unfortunately between a severely deviated septum and a weird jaw after my wisdom teeth were removed, I have to sleep a very specific way or I have trouble breathing in my sleep. So when I get apnea, I use the CPAP so I can get proper REM.
Anyway, one morning I woke up almost drowning in my own blood and after 2 hours of it not clotting and actively getting worse, I drove myself over. They shoved what they referred to as a "rhino rocket" up there and inflated it. This was also the height of the lockdown in 2020 so I went hours unseen just bleeding in the ER.
Me too, but not CPAP, unknown cause. Got to ER after 10 hrs of continuing nose bleed. Had a rhino rocket.
My boss sent me to the ER due to a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. They cauterized my nasal cavity.
More recently I cut the tip of my thumb off building a model.
I hit myself in the head with a bat and gave myself a whopper of a concussion.
I leaned over to pick up a ball off the ground while, accidentally, raising the bat as I leaned. It fell on my head.
A strangers dog bit me but didn’t puncture the important part of skin, it just scratched me really. And I was worried about rabies because the dog was a homeless persons dog. So I went to the ER and the doctor came in. Told me to strip down. Looked at my leg. And sternly told me in doctor language that I am an idiot and charged me like $400.
Ear infection that I thought was an infected jaw or some flare up of TMJ. I was sleeping on ice packs.
I hadn't had an ear infection as far as I could remember. Didn't know what it felt like.
Doctor looked in my ear and then ran out of the room and came back with antibiotics and antiinflammatories for me to take immediately.
I got a good one.
I used to rent a small apartment and was vacuuming. The cord got tangled around my leg and I ate it. Knocked me out and my roommate found me and took me to the hospital, thinking I was possibly dead. I was fine, albeit concussed but I woke up embarrassed as hell 😂 bought a Roomba after that!
My sister once ate too many blueberries and got a bad stomach ache, so I had to keep her company overnight in the hospital because kids under 15 have to be accompanied by a guardian.
Panic attack thought I was dying lol
No lol. Panic attacks are no laughing matter. Once one starts its hard to stop, most need to just run their course. Its that fear of imminent death, adrenaline kicks in and things escalate making everything 100 times worse. I've suffered them for years but have learned to notice the signs one is starting and can usually control or stop them now.
Managed to get the blunt end of a sewing needle stabbed just under my finger joint when I was 11.
Dislocated my knee just walking around my house. Found out my joints are all f****d up.
A palm leaf penetrated my leg as a kid. It went into my calf about an inch. Hurt like hell.
I was playing with nerf guns with my brother. We liked to pretend we were in the matrix and dodge the darts. I threw my head right into the corner of a chair, and needed stitches right above my eye. My high school graduation was the next day.
Dehydrated myself by drinking iced coffee instead of water for weeks, which then turned into an anxiety attack because I didn't know what was happening.🤦🏻♀️
Edited to include: I did not have a legitimate diagnosis of anxiety until that day (although it came about due to my father passing exactly one month prior to this medical event).
Quite honestly, there's no stupid like human stupid. Middle of a pandemic, I'm on ER duty (medical doc) and people come in with things like, "Hey, I lost my finger two days ago, can you put it back on?" or "The knife in my foot? Yeah, I was doing this knife trick I saw online..." or "Why would I need to secure the ladder bfeore I use it?" and "Yeah, so, the chainsaw hit the metal..." Also classics like "Um, it's accidental that coke bottle is in my r****m" types of things. "I can't be pregnant, I'm not married". The list goes on and on and on and on -------- and that's without Covid!
No, no! I slipped and fell on the Coke bottle! That's how it got there! Really! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Load More Replies... I woke up one morning and my throat was super soar and I had a terrible fever. Looked in the back of my throat assuming it was strep, but was rather alarmed when I saw that the left side was almost black. Called my work (2nd day there mind you) and rushed to the walk in. The doc takes the initial steps before bringing another doc in. They stand there staring at me with gaping eyes before bringing ANOTHER doc in. Doc#1 says "yeaahhh...we called the ER and let them know you'll be there shortly. You have an abscess tonsil." The ENT doc at the ER proceeds to assure me that the abscess does not need to be drained at that moment, but I do need a ton of antibiotics. To make matters more fun, I was allergic to 2 different antibiotics. The poor ENT doc nearly s**t a brick when I looked at him from the hospital bed and said "uhh so my feet are swelling" less than 3 minutes after giving me the injection. Good times.
My sister. When hungry she used to lick the end of dry spaghetti. Licked it to a point and then stabbed herself in the mouth with it.
You know, I'm suddenly feeling that my habit of eating dry pasta probably isn't that great of an idea. To be fair, I only do it with the corners of lasagne sheets these days - the bits you have to break off to get the sheet to fit the dish.
Load More Replies... I took an Uber to Urgent Care for a q-tip swab stuck in my left ear. Turns out there was nothing in my ear. I guess the q-tip didn't have a swab on one end before I used it. Then I had to take an Uber home. Waste of money.
I assume there was also the obligatory lecture about putting stuff in your ears?
Load More Replies... 
Why did they take away the link that gave you the option of seeing the rest of the article?!
Load More Replies...
10 years ago, my drunk a** (45 M) decided to paint a room. I fell from the second step of the ladder and broke my left (fortunately) forearm in three places which required surgery and more than a year for recovery. The dumbest thing I've done so far. Oh, @Sergio Bicerra when I was conceived, there were no condoms available even with holes in them so here I am.
You know how actors say "break a leg" before going on stage. I did. In the middle of a a performance. Dislocated my knee. Had to crawl off the stage. Went to the ER in full make-up and costume (I was playing this scary underworld creature ... lots of make-up, ragged costume and hot pink tights). Haven't ever said "break a leg" again.
I did the helicopter pen trick. With a fork. Too close to my face. Managed to nick my eyeball and had to get checked for a puncture. Fun story to explain to the doctors
Took a massive overdose of pills. Luckily, my older brother barged into my room and saved my life.
My mum is a shining example of why knives are now sold in clamshell packaging. She, as a relative newlywed, bought a new knife, packed it into a bag, and when she got on the bus, sat beside the bag and stabbed herself with the knife. In the boob. Apparently that caused some hilarity at the hospital (once they'd decided that my poor dad wasn't some awful wife abuser - they were both too consistent with the stories, and the angle was all wrong). Apparently she still has a scar, forty years on, and the knife was still around thirty-something years later. It's gone now, but it's only been the last year or so that I noticed it was missing from the drawer.
A screw ball off my earring fell into the ear hole while I was sleeping. 1GP, 2 A&E Docs and an ENT surgical out later… it was rescued. Yay!
along with my other comment not me but my dad. my parents moved to florida and while my dad was closing the hurricane shutters he had 1 more window to do. it was 10 feet up so he got the ladder and as he was about to close them a gecko jumped out at him and he fell off the ladder. he ended up going back up the ladder closing the shutter and then went back inside sat down and my mom, who was in the shower during all of this, came out and started getting ready. she was coming to new york by herself to visit me and my husband. my dads plan was to go to the hospital after she left. well my mom isnt stupid she noticed something was wrong wen he went to help her put her luggage in the car. she interogated him he told her wat happened she took him to the hospital. 2:30 comes around and i call her asking where she was. she tells me the whole story. my dad broke his collar bone and a few ribs. she also told me all the nurses and the doctor were laughing bc they instantly knew my parents were new to florida based off of wat happened to my dad. they taught my dad a whole bunch of lessons on how to handle things so that doesnt happen again since the geckos in question get everywhere. if ur not careful theyll even run into ur house. my dad learned to not underestimate tiny geckos that day lol. my dad loves to embarass me and i never had anything to embarass him with so wat did i do for christmas that year. i got him a little gecko plushie and caution tape as extra gifts. the whole family instantly remembered the wat happened and burst into laughter and my dad got all red faced in embarassment. every time he or my mom calls me i ask to make sure he hasnt gone of any ladders or battled any geckos. best part is bc they live in florida they dont hear about my embarassing clutzyness. i can keep bugging him about this and hes got nothing on me lol. hes a natural clutz and makes stupid choices alot so its been a back and forth thing but since he moved to florida the accidents r embarass worthy. he also stabbed himself in the wrist with a screwdriver. he thought a screwdriver was the best way to unclog a glue tube. it slipped and went right into his wrist. every time ive seen him since then hes got new bruises too. whether its in person or an alexa video call. he bruises very easily so the reason behind them is always something stupid and he instantly regret telling me. including the time he showed up at my house with a bloody hand bc he didnt listen to my mom wen she said he shouldnt pick up their luggage a certain way. he did it anyways and got the whole back of his hand scraped up by the side of the trunk of the car cuz it got stuck. if u havent guessed my dad is one of those "im always right and know wat im doing" ppl. the amount of calls i get from my mom saying "hes at it again" or "i wish u were here" bc of my dad doing something stupid is amazing. he was never this bad wen i lived with them. it only got bad after i got married lol.
one morning i was super tired and thought i had gone down the 2nd part of the 2 part staircase. the first part was 10 steps then theres a turn then another 12 steps. i ended up thinking i was turning around the bottom step heading to the kitchen. the reality of the situation i went sliding down the next set of stairs looking like i was jumping over hurdles. ended up spraining my ankle. thankfully the nurse sympathized with me cuz wen the doctor asked wat happened the nurse spoke up and said she wrote down a detailed report. after i got the sprain wrapped and supported the nurse told me if he knew the full details not only would he laugh but id b the talk of the day unless someone with a more embarassing situation came in. she then told me she wrote i slipped down a few steps and got rug burn on my thighs. we talked for a bit and i learned that she tumbles down the stairs almost every morning due to sleepiness but she found a way to conquer it. once i was home i instantly went on amazon and orderes slipper socks with rubber padding on the bottom. i never slipped down the stairs again after that. it may not sound that embarassing but i lived in that house for a decade before it happened if it was around the time me and my parents first moved in i wouldnt have felt embarassed at all bc our previous house was just a normal one set staircase not 2 set. although wen we first moved in i did continue walking forward once down the first set and walked into the wall quite a few times but i never got hurt.
Quite honestly, there's no stupid like human stupid. Middle of a pandemic, I'm on ER duty (medical doc) and people come in with things like, "Hey, I lost my finger two days ago, can you put it back on?" or "The knife in my foot? Yeah, I was doing this knife trick I saw online..." or "Why would I need to secure the ladder bfeore I use it?" and "Yeah, so, the chainsaw hit the metal..." Also classics like "Um, it's accidental that coke bottle is in my r****m" types of things. "I can't be pregnant, I'm not married". The list goes on and on and on and on -------- and that's without Covid!
No, no! I slipped and fell on the Coke bottle! That's how it got there! Really! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Load More Replies... I woke up one morning and my throat was super soar and I had a terrible fever. Looked in the back of my throat assuming it was strep, but was rather alarmed when I saw that the left side was almost black. Called my work (2nd day there mind you) and rushed to the walk in. The doc takes the initial steps before bringing another doc in. They stand there staring at me with gaping eyes before bringing ANOTHER doc in. Doc#1 says "yeaahhh...we called the ER and let them know you'll be there shortly. You have an abscess tonsil." The ENT doc at the ER proceeds to assure me that the abscess does not need to be drained at that moment, but I do need a ton of antibiotics. To make matters more fun, I was allergic to 2 different antibiotics. The poor ENT doc nearly s**t a brick when I looked at him from the hospital bed and said "uhh so my feet are swelling" less than 3 minutes after giving me the injection. Good times.
My sister. When hungry she used to lick the end of dry spaghetti. Licked it to a point and then stabbed herself in the mouth with it.
You know, I'm suddenly feeling that my habit of eating dry pasta probably isn't that great of an idea. To be fair, I only do it with the corners of lasagne sheets these days - the bits you have to break off to get the sheet to fit the dish.
Load More Replies... I took an Uber to Urgent Care for a q-tip swab stuck in my left ear. Turns out there was nothing in my ear. I guess the q-tip didn't have a swab on one end before I used it. Then I had to take an Uber home. Waste of money.
I assume there was also the obligatory lecture about putting stuff in your ears?
Load More Replies... Why did they take away the link that gave you the option of seeing the rest of the article?!
Load More Replies... 10 years ago, my drunk a** (45 M) decided to paint a room. I fell from the second step of the ladder and broke my left (fortunately) forearm in three places which required surgery and more than a year for recovery. The dumbest thing I've done so far. Oh, @Sergio Bicerra when I was conceived, there were no condoms available even with holes in them so here I am.
You know how actors say "break a leg" before going on stage. I did. In the middle of a a performance. Dislocated my knee. Had to crawl off the stage. Went to the ER in full make-up and costume (I was playing this scary underworld creature ... lots of make-up, ragged costume and hot pink tights). Haven't ever said "break a leg" again.
I did the helicopter pen trick. With a fork. Too close to my face. Managed to nick my eyeball and had to get checked for a puncture. Fun story to explain to the doctors
Took a massive overdose of pills. Luckily, my older brother barged into my room and saved my life.
My mum is a shining example of why knives are now sold in clamshell packaging. She, as a relative newlywed, bought a new knife, packed it into a bag, and when she got on the bus, sat beside the bag and stabbed herself with the knife. In the boob. Apparently that caused some hilarity at the hospital (once they'd decided that my poor dad wasn't some awful wife abuser - they were both too consistent with the stories, and the angle was all wrong). Apparently she still has a scar, forty years on, and the knife was still around thirty-something years later. It's gone now, but it's only been the last year or so that I noticed it was missing from the drawer.
A screw ball off my earring fell into the ear hole while I was sleeping. 1GP, 2 A&E Docs and an ENT surgical out later… it was rescued. Yay!
along with my other comment not me but my dad. my parents moved to florida and while my dad was closing the hurricane shutters he had 1 more window to do. it was 10 feet up so he got the ladder and as he was about to close them a gecko jumped out at him and he fell off the ladder. he ended up going back up the ladder closing the shutter and then went back inside sat down and my mom, who was in the shower during all of this, came out and started getting ready. she was coming to new york by herself to visit me and my husband. my dads plan was to go to the hospital after she left. well my mom isnt stupid she noticed something was wrong wen he went to help her put her luggage in the car. she interogated him he told her wat happened she took him to the hospital. 2:30 comes around and i call her asking where she was. she tells me the whole story. my dad broke his collar bone and a few ribs. she also told me all the nurses and the doctor were laughing bc they instantly knew my parents were new to florida based off of wat happened to my dad. they taught my dad a whole bunch of lessons on how to handle things so that doesnt happen again since the geckos in question get everywhere. if ur not careful theyll even run into ur house. my dad learned to not underestimate tiny geckos that day lol. my dad loves to embarass me and i never had anything to embarass him with so wat did i do for christmas that year. i got him a little gecko plushie and caution tape as extra gifts. the whole family instantly remembered the wat happened and burst into laughter and my dad got all red faced in embarassment. every time he or my mom calls me i ask to make sure he hasnt gone of any ladders or battled any geckos. best part is bc they live in florida they dont hear about my embarassing clutzyness. i can keep bugging him about this and hes got nothing on me lol. hes a natural clutz and makes stupid choices alot so its been a back and forth thing but since he moved to florida the accidents r embarass worthy. he also stabbed himself in the wrist with a screwdriver. he thought a screwdriver was the best way to unclog a glue tube. it slipped and went right into his wrist. every time ive seen him since then hes got new bruises too. whether its in person or an alexa video call. he bruises very easily so the reason behind them is always something stupid and he instantly regret telling me. including the time he showed up at my house with a bloody hand bc he didnt listen to my mom wen she said he shouldnt pick up their luggage a certain way. he did it anyways and got the whole back of his hand scraped up by the side of the trunk of the car cuz it got stuck. if u havent guessed my dad is one of those "im always right and know wat im doing" ppl. the amount of calls i get from my mom saying "hes at it again" or "i wish u were here" bc of my dad doing something stupid is amazing. he was never this bad wen i lived with them. it only got bad after i got married lol.
one morning i was super tired and thought i had gone down the 2nd part of the 2 part staircase. the first part was 10 steps then theres a turn then another 12 steps. i ended up thinking i was turning around the bottom step heading to the kitchen. the reality of the situation i went sliding down the next set of stairs looking like i was jumping over hurdles. ended up spraining my ankle. thankfully the nurse sympathized with me cuz wen the doctor asked wat happened the nurse spoke up and said she wrote down a detailed report. after i got the sprain wrapped and supported the nurse told me if he knew the full details not only would he laugh but id b the talk of the day unless someone with a more embarassing situation came in. she then told me she wrote i slipped down a few steps and got rug burn on my thighs. we talked for a bit and i learned that she tumbles down the stairs almost every morning due to sleepiness but she found a way to conquer it. once i was home i instantly went on amazon and orderes slipper socks with rubber padding on the bottom. i never slipped down the stairs again after that. it may not sound that embarassing but i lived in that house for a decade before it happened if it was around the time me and my parents first moved in i wouldnt have felt embarassed at all bc our previous house was just a normal one set staircase not 2 set. although wen we first moved in i did continue walking forward once down the first set and walked into the wall quite a few times but i never got hurt.
