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“Covered His Ceiling Fan With Glitter”: 60 People Recall The Most Messed Up Revenge They’ve Ever Gotten
What’s your first impulse when someone wrongs you? Do you give the person the benefit of the doubt and start looking for reasons to excuse their behavior? Perhaps they’re having a rough day, and they don’t know how to channel their frustration in a healthy way. Or do you immediately start plotting your payback?
With patience, karma will come back around eventually. But some individuals prefer to take matters into their own hands. Redditors have been sharing the most messed up ways they’ve ever gotten revenge on another person, so we’ve gathered a list of their shocking stories below. We definitely do not recommend trying these schemes at home, pandas. But we hope that you find them entertaining!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My girlfriend of 3 years that I dated through high school broke up with me my first semester of college. We went to different schools and I later learned she was hooking up with one of her guy friends there.
Anyways when we both were on break she asked me to bring back all the stuff she had given me, (presents, sweatshirts, cards, etc) so I drive to her house with all the things we've exchanged in the past 3 years, once I got to her house I saw that she had invited all her friends over and they were sitting with her along with her parents in the garage.
Anyways I walk up with her [stuff] and exchange, everyone there had that smirk on their face like they were laughing at me. Anyways as I give her back her things I say "if only I could give back your virginity" the look on her parents faces was absolutely priceless, and I walked out of that lions den with the biggest smile on my face.
RELATED:
#2
I used to live in a very small town, like 250-300 people. We had no stores, gas stations etc.
One day a local guy decided to open up a little store that sold the basics like groceries and rented movies. He hired a few of us highschool kids to work the store, and promised us $50 a week for the summer to be paid at the end of the summer.
We agreed, and started working. We gave up a summer stocking shelves, cleaning the bathroom, lawn care and whatever else.
Well the end of the summer comes around. It's our last day of work, and he comes by with our pay checks. $50. For each of us. For the whole summer.
Needless to say, we weren't too happy, but his words were "what the [hell] are you gonna do about it? Drop the key off at my house since you won't need it anymore".
We came up with a plan to pay this [jerk] back. Before locking up the store for the last time, we left a window unlocked. We dropped the key off at the house. Around midnight, we were back at the store. Grabbed as much as we could, cigarettes, money from the register, candy. Probably about $1000 worth of [things], locked the window, then left through the emergency exit that had no alarm. There were also no cameras of any kind.
Next day there were cops there. He accused all of us of doing it, but had no proof. He ended up having to shut down the store a few months later because the town heard how he didn't pay us and stopped doing business there.
I don't feel bad. [Jerk] deserved it.
Lee Gilliland 1 hour ago
Small towns are not to be messed with. We know (or can easily find out) where you live.
#3
Friend and I were fishing at a local creek when my friends brother pulled up. Being the [jerk] he normally was he started throwing rocks in the creek to scare the fish and then he threw my friend's bike in the creek. We were 13 at the time, my friend was crying and I felt so bad. I jumped into the creek and got his bike out, told him we would get his brother back.
About a month later we were fishing again and it was the [end] of summer. I told my friend today is the day we get his brother back. Caught a 2/3 pound carp, threw it up on the side of the bank and left it there until we were done fishing. At the end of the night went back to his place. His brother's car was sitting on the street, we took the carp sliced it open and threw it under the driver's seat and rolled his windows 3/4 up.
The next morning when we woke and left I forgot about what we had done. Well when I rode past JT's car I noticed the window was kind of black and then I took a closer look it was covered in flies. I actually got scared because I did not expect to a window caked with flies. By the time I got home I was laughing in tears because his brother was always such a [jerk] to us.
Fast forward to baseball practice about 3 days later, friend had a black eye but smiled at me when we made eye contact. His brother flipped out and ran into his house and punched him in the face. His mom flipped out on his brother, brother was grounded for the rest of summer. His mom said that my friend would never do such a thing and he played along and acted as if he had no idea. Apparently the smell never really left the car. We nicknamed his brother lord of the flies.
Mel in Georgia 53 minutes ago
My husband's old group of friends always did pranks on each others' wedding days. One was leaving an open can of tuna in the trunk of their car before they went away on their honeymoon. That smell doesn't go away anytime soon!
#4
I covered his ceiling fan with glitter.
Fear me.
#5
I had a nosy neighbor that was just bitter at the world. He would always do petty things like call the cops because I had music playing in my garage after ten PM or report us to city code enforcement for having too long of a lawn. After a while I was fed up with it and decided to take action.
Christmas rolls around and I take out a craigslist ad saying I needed old Christmas trees and was offering free disposal. I listed his address and said if I'm not home feel free to leave them in the front yard. The next few weeks had glorious entertainment as the trees stacked up and when he was home he would be out there yelling at the people to take their tree and get out of his yard.
#6
I was being bullied by this kid 2 years older than me in school, but I didn't want to tell the teachers or my parents, because I wanted to handle it myself. Anyway, he wasn't hitting me or anything, he was just verbally harassing me during the day; but hey, I was fine with that, I had plenty of friends to chill out with and he was a lonely bully.
So we have to write a Physics exam, and we all have those Graphical Calculators. You can write programs in them and Archive them so a RAM reset can't delete the programs, only a Defaults reset can. Right before the exam, he came to me and told me to give him all the "cheat" programs I had. Well, what he did not know is that I prepared one with wrong formulas for that [jerk]. When I transferred the program over to his calculator, I had a huge smile on my face.
He got a 6 for that exam, which is equivalent to an F.
Sweet sweet revenge. :-D
*EDIT:*
*Thanks for all the upvotes guys, I guess it's time to clarify some things:*
1.* This was around 5 years ago, I will still pretty young.*
2. *Yes, I live in Germany. The best grade there is a 1, while the worst is a 6. You can compare it to the A's and F's of England.*
3. *I didn't have any more problems with the bully, since I was about to change the school anyway and those exams where the end-of-year exams. Now, in my new school, I have plenty of friends, not being bullied by anyone. Partly because I changed my attitude, but also partly because when you notice some faults about yourself, you can fix them and become a better person. :-)*.
#7
My first high school bf was not very good with grades so he asked me to make him a fake report so he could show his parents and not get into trouble. He also cheated on me with my best friend and dumped me. He then promised to get back with me if I forged the report for him.
I agreed up until the day when we were meant to get our reports for school. I told him I didn't do it. He got bashed by his dad when he got home for the string of D's and F's.
#8
I held magnets up to all of my room mates 5 and a half inch floppy discs after he had threatened to throw me over the balcony and dumped the house's garbage on my bed. This was before finals and he was a programming and language minor. He [tanked] an entire semester.
#9
I had a loud apartment neighbor that was always causing problems. My wife got fed up one night when him and his drunk friends were wrestling in the parking lot while making a ton of noise and called the cops.
This was an angry drunk Mexican that decided to retaliate for the cops getting called by breaking my antenna off my car as soon as the cops leave.
I fumed about the antenna for a week or so when the [jerk] came back home drunk again at 6 AM again waking me up as he thundered up the stairs. It wasn't till a couple hours later we noticed he left his keys in the door of his apartment. I snuck up the stairs and took his keys right out of the lock and chucked them in a ditch a block away.
The best part was hearing him storm around tearing his place up looking for them. You could hear the [jerk] moving furniture and [stuff]. His truck had two separate alarms and after he lost his remotes he had to replace both of them. I regret nothing.
#10
I dated this girl for around 3 years, and we had the most incredibly passionate yet violent relationship. Towards the end we did anything to hurt each other, and were doing the off again on again thing. At one point when we were on again she had asked to do some laundry at my house and brought over all her clothes, im talking everything, three laundry baskets, with the exception of the clothes she was wearing everything. Now its important to know that not only was she huge into trendy and fashionable clothes, but she also worked as a manager at a local thrift store in a swanky part of town where she would acquire her wardrobe. So the next day she informs me she doesnt want to see me that night and that she is doing a booty call with this guy I hate. So I took all of her clothes and donated them to her thrift store, figured she could by them back.
Michael Largey 1 hour ago
Chances are she'll just steal them from the thrift store. Easy to do as the manager, and she's not really stealing as they're her property.
#11
This is pretty minor, but it especially comes in handy this time of year.
I absolutely hate how [rude] people get towards each other this time of year, especially while driving. That's why I always keep a bottle of ketchup in the car. If someone is really rude to me, I wait for them to go in the store and then cover all of their door handles with ketchup. It's just mean enough to piss them off without causing any real damage.
#12
I lived incredibly well.
Doty152:
And this, my friends, is the best revenge. Live your life. Succeed, prosper. When they see that, that'll be the best revenge.
Zig Zag Wanderer 41 minutes ago (edited)
This is absolutely true. I hope Michael (who dobbed me in to the department of immigration to try to get me deported) is reading this and thinks of me 😎
#13
My dad used to live in an apartment building with assigned parking, as in every tenant had a designated space that only they were allowed to park in. Well, my dad would regularly come home to find someone else parked in his spot. He had asked the guy politely several times not to park in his spot and had even talked to the landlords who had done nothing about it, so one day he got home to find the guy parked in his spot again and decided enough was enough.
My dad had always worked on cars, ever since he was thirteen. He had a jack in his trunk and used that to jack the guy's car up off its rear tires. It was a rear wheel drive car which meant my dad now had control of the car. Using the jack he pulled the car across the lot and left it somewhat hidden behind a dumpster. Then he let the car down, put away his jack, parked in his spot and went up to his apartment.
Later that day he got a knock on his door. It was a police officer with the inconsiderate neighbor behind him. The officer asked my dad what he had done with the neighbor's car and my dad looked him right in the eye and said "He parked in my spot and I've asked him several times not to do so, so I lifted his car up and set it over by the dumpster." Now, to give you an idea about my dad, he's 6'5" and back in the day was really well built. He also has only one eye, and the fake one he's got has always been too small, giving him a constant "madman" look. When he told the officer that he'd lifted the car and moved it himself and even pointed out where the car was through his apartment window the police officer's eyes got as big as dinner plates. He turned to the neighbor and said "Sir, I recommend you *never* park in this man's spot again." Guy stopped parking in my dad's spot after that.
Zig Zag Wanderer 47 minutes ago
I'm impressed that he could pull a 1.5 ton car using just the jack....
#14
When my brother and I were kids, we used to play in our front yard all the time. Once, we were playing baseball and our ball rolled down the hill into our neighbor's backyard. Anyway, my brother and I went inside to find another ball to play with. In those 5 minutes, he walked up the hill and pounded on our front door. My mom answered and he flew into a rage at her screaming about the "kids ruining his lawn." My mom tried to calm him down, but he put back his fist as if he was going to punch her. When my mom flinched, he started to laugh and spit on our doorstep. My brother and I saw everything and declared covert war.
We were smart. We waited until he wouldn't be too suspicious. To this day, we haven't been caught... because everything "could" have just happened naturally. We didn't do everything at once, but rather over the course of many years. Here is a rough list of all the things I remember doing:
*poured female deer lure into his car's and house's A/C intake vents to perfume his air with an unholy stench.
*saved up all shards of sharp glass, nails, etc and would scatter them on the ends of his driveway.
*bought high strength / concentrated weed killer and would apply it liberally to his prized shrubs / flowers.
*found his car in public parking lots and threw balogna on it to ruin the paint job. No clue if this one actually worked though.
*Waited until they went on vacation and put sugar all over their doors and window sills in hope that bugs would get into the house and nest.
I still don't feel guilty.
#15
I had a lady driving me nuts across the street, I emptied 200 store-bought crickets into her front door mail slot....
#16
Back in highschool i dated a girl for 6 months before she decided it wasn't working out anymore and she cheated on me with about 6 guys and stole my iPhone and wallet to buy [illegal substances]. I wanted to report her to the police like my parents encouraged me to and to prevent me from doing such her brother jumped me while I was walking home with his friends and busted open my lip pretty badly and threatened to [end] me if i reported him or his sister (this is South Florida, so i believed he would do it).
My dad got a new job and we moved to a new city but i was still pissed about this whole situation so i did the next best thing. I created two fake facebook accounts of a random hot girl and guy, spent some time making it look legit with friends and such and added her brother on facebook with the girl and my ex with the guy.
It wasn't too long before he started flirting "me" up and tried his best to get in this girls pants. on the other hand, having already courted my now ex i knew exactly what to say to charm her to the point that she was in love with me. This is where it all begins to get fun.
I started a [explicit texting] relationship between the brother and sister with me as the intermediate thanks to google voice. Both of them had fairly typical south florida bodies so nothing really gave anything away and i did a fair amount of photoshopping to remove identifiers in the room that may give away anything.
This went on for about a month and a half totaling about 200 or so [revealing pics] between the two of them when i decided to reveal the curtain and send a group of unedited pictures that included key identifiers (face and rooms).
Oh holy jesus. I only wish i had some way to see how they reacted. Friends who still lived there told me her brother moved in with his dad that week and that they no longer spoke.
All in all, about 4 months till i got my revenge but it was amazing.
#17
My brother once stole my bag of skittles and didn't admit to it. So I bought a bag and opened it carefully so that I could reseal it. I took every skittle, except the green apple, out and replaced them with m&ms. The look on his face was priceless.
EDIT: For clarification there were m&ms AND green skittles in the bag. And he ate by the handful. So, no. It would not be delicious.
#18
Someone had given me a balloon for my birthday at school and I was carrying it around. After lunch, I was walking into my 4th period class and Michael was sitting at the door waiting for me with a pair of scissors. He popped the balloon as soon as I walked in.
Without Hesitation, I opened up my backpack, removed my standard issue scissors, and walked over to Michael's desk and cut the back straps off his backpack. He had to carry it around in his arms for the rest of the month until he got a new backpack.
#19
I have one I'm about to do in a couple days. See my parents [are awful], I've been taking care of them for a while, while also going to school and what not, and still they are trying to cheat me, pawn my things, etc. But I've become fed up with them. I'm out of town at the moment, but when I get back, the next time they ask me to walk two miles to get them a pack of cigarettes, I will walk outside, around the house, have a friend with a van come. Bring my pre packed [stuff] out of the basement entrance, leave and stay at my friend's house for a few days until the day my train ticket is planned for, then move 2000 miles across the country and live with another friend who just got me a job. Rendering them worthless pillheads waiting for a pack of pal mal menthol 100's for the rest of their sad lives.
#20
My then-high-school-girlfriend was a total [jerk], and wanted me to abandon all of my friends, would always try to bring me down, etcetcetc.
When I got fed up, I broke up with her on picture day. She took them, but her mascara was everywhere. Two days later, I told her that I was sorry, blahblah, and I wanted to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on, so of course she said yes.
I then broke up with her **again** on retake day. *Nailed it.*
#21
I know a guy who emptied an ashtray into a woman's hand bag whilst at a party because she was 'acting up' or something.
#22
I had a "friend" who wasn't really a friend. We got along well enough on the face of things but there was always resentment at some level - I never understood why. Anyways, I had known him for a few years at this point and I was also about 6 months into a relationship with this great girl. I could actually see myself marrying her, and we were pretty happy together.
A couple months go by and things seem to cool... it [hurt] but I accepted that perhaps the relationship had run its course and that things would end soon. Sure enough another couple weeks go by and she ends things. I was pretty broken up about it but I was able to get on with my life.
Well, a month goes by and I start to hear things. Turns out this "friend" had been undermining my relationship for months. Insinuating things to her and just generally making me out to be a bad guy who keeps secrets from her. He never knew I found out, so I continued to outwardly be his friend.
My payback was this: He's the sort of guy who has all these big ideas but never follows through. I started to be a "great" friend, and encourage him to chase down his dreams, but then I'd go and sabotage it behind his back(or in some cases let them collapse on their own), and take a private pleasure in his failure.
He's now 24, he's dropped out of university twice, works part time at a call center and drives a 21 year old Honda Civic. He has no girlfriend, no prospects, and few friends.
#23
When I was 7 or 8 I did a science project on the antibacterial efficacy of various soaps. Basically involved keeping hands dirty for a day, pressing grubby thumbs into petri dishes full of agar, then washing and doing the same again. I'd take tracings of the cultures: bigger colonies were bad, smaller ones good. This ended up winning the county science fair for my grade in a large metropolitan area, so that was nice.
But before that, after I'd finished the experiments but before I'd discarded the dishes, I got into a dispute with my parents (don't remember what about). I thought, "I'll show them". So I took the nastiest culture and swabbed it onto their bedroom doorknob. They both got sick as dogs and I had to take care of them for a couple of days. Served me right.
TL;DR--I waged bacteriological warfare against my parents using my science project. But I told them long ago and we laugh about it now.
#24
My so-called 'best friend' in primary school stole my shiny Pokemon cards.
I was only 6 or so at the time, but that didn't stop me from being a sadistic little first grader, and having older brothers... well, let's just say I knew how things worked.
Guess who found out the truth about santa, the tooth fairy AND the power rangers all at once.
Don't [mess] with 6 year old me.
#25
My sister used to beat me up, steal my birthday money, call me [names] in front of friends and girls i liked. when mom went shopping for Xmas my sister would tell her to buy me these horrible clothes to make me look the part. Pretty much was just a total [jerk] to me. So everytime i had to [relieve myself] in the shower I'd [do it] in her shampoo and body wash all over her razor, body sponge thing, everything.
#26
I'm canadian see, I wrote a polite letter subtly insulting a friend of mine, I didn't even say sorry.
#27
I went to school with someone who was a real [jerk]. He bullied me a substantial amount and eventually I got fed up with it.
One day when we were in the library, I saw him log on. As he went to access his emails, I snuck a look at the keyboard and noticed his password. Lo and behold, the idiot used his name and a number and that was it.
Queue creeper time. When I went home I had a quick look through his emails. I noticed a rather interesting discussion between himself and a friend of his. To cut a long story short, his mother had convinced centrelink (unemployment benefits in Australia, maybe elsewhere, I don't know) that he had a learning disability in order to claim more money.
I forward this email archive along with his password to Centrelink. They probably couldn't directly access his email account due to redtape, however, I think someone must have done it off the books. A few weeks later at school I hear that 'Bob's' family was getting taken to court and being forced to pay back all the excess money that was claimed under false circumstances.
I don't know how it ended up as I graduated before the case was settled but I know they had to pay back several thousand dollars at the least.
TL;DR - Guy was a [jerk] in school. Checked his emails, he pretended to have learning disability to claim money, forwarded to welfare office, they win up suing him and he has to pay them back.
Zig Zag Wanderer 37 minutes ago
Centrelink wouldn't be able to get into the email account, but that evidence would have been enough to prosecute, and the beneficiaries would have to prove otherwise.
#28
Another ex-wife story (EDIT: and some double revenge!)
During the last year or so of my marriage, I was spending a lot of time out of town, commuting for 3-4 days a week for work. One night I was working remote and decided to do some upgrades on my home computers, so I remote in and notice that the connection is REALLY slow. I do some network traces and find that my wife's computer is participating in a video chat with someone in another state, one where she has no family that I know of. Huh. Curiosity piqued, so I start to monitor more stuff, like IM conversations which are not encrypted.
Over the next few weeks I keep my mouth shut as I collect more evidence, mostly Yahoo! and AIM conversations. I also had installed security cameras around my house because we had problems with the neighborhood kids, and eventually I catch footage of some guy coming and going from the house - at one point even driving my car. I still keep my mouth shut because I know if I say anything my wife would just lie about it and somehow make me out to be the bad guy. I know who the guy is by now, and I gather more data on him. And then he does it. He plugs his laptop into my network.
So, I'm a network engineer and security admin by trade. I know networks, I know how to monitor them, and I know how to .. fiddle with data. My wife knew this, the guy she was messing around with knew this, but he was still dumb enough to enter my domain and play around on my network. I start grabbing usernames and passwords, email accounts, IM accounts, etc. I reroute all of their web traffic through a proxy so I can monitor where they go and how they login. Eventually I hit the jackpot - [jerk] runs a fairly well known gaming forum that is a major source of revenue for him, and he logs in *without using SSL*.
He thinks it's secure because vBulletin hashes the password before sending it in clear text. However, if you know the hash you can use it just as well as the password itself! I use his admin username and password hash to login and make a few admin accounts for myself, naming them something inconspicuous and changing the account creation date to make them look old. At this point I could have just wiped his entire site, but that would be too easy to fix - simply restore a backup. No, I had a better idea. Every day I went back and deleted random posts older than 6 months. Then I deleted every post older than 6 months. I did this for 3 weeks straight before the guy suspects anything. I notice he kills one of my admin accounts, so I quickly *assign admin privileges to my wife's account* then delete all my other admin accounts.
She calls me in a panic because her new boytoy is flipping out on her because it looks like she is the one who "hacked" the forums and deleted the content. Thousands of posts are gone and there is no way to restore them because a full restore would wipe out 3 weeks of new posts. She appears to be the only other person with admin access aside from the owner, and he is *PISSED*. I plead ignorance and pretend I never knew about the forum until she called me. There is no reason I would know about the forum. They never made the connection between him using MY home network and his forum getting hosed. To this day new users are not allowed on the site unless they are referred by an existing member.
They never figured out what happened. The incident caused him to break off whatever he had going with my wife, which really left her stranded when I told her a month later that I was divorcing her. I had collected enough evidence from their IM conversations and her forum posts to satisfy my need for closure. She still has no idea how much information I gathered about her second life.
EDIT: I should have mentioned above that during the time period this was happening, the guy actually moved from out of state (with the help of my wife, and probably my money), which is how he ended up at my house and driving my car. I knew exactly when this happened and when to expect to see him based on the IM conversations.
#29
Bad neighbor who would park across my driveway, got the vent in front of his windshield filled with skunk scent.
#30
Kind of[messed] up but I don't care, my ex was human garbage.
She would continually beg for money and do nothing but yell at me and smoke weed. One day I just got sick of her. I came home from a very long day at work and noticed she had taken my civic(a very heavily modded 94 coupe) and had gone somewhere with her friends. She forgot that I had a Karr tacking system on the car and could locate it anywhere to within a few meters. I found my car in downtown Seattle and had my buddy drive me there. I had a spare key and alarm fob, so I threw her spare clothes and purse in the dirty parking lot, drove home and blocked her number before she could even call me. I even moved later that week(had been planning to for a while before this incident anyway) so I disappeared without a trace. I used to get threatening fb messages from her brother for about a month afterwards.
#31
When I was seven, the Monica Lewinsky scandal happened, and my name happens to be Monica. You can imagine what a bunch of immature kids liked to call me. One girl who was several years older than me, whom I never talked to before, kept picking on me and calling me Monica Lewinsky. I asked her to stop, and she didn't. Keep in mind that this girl was pretty big compared to me.
One day, she was playing on this jungle gym in the shape of a fire engine and was trying to balance, so I took advantage of her vulnerability and started tickling her. When I noticed she didn't like being tickled and was losing her balance, I continued to tickle, which was probably my innocent way of being violent. The girl eventually lost her balance, fell down, and broke her leg. When I saw her later on in a cast with crutches, she looked at me with this apologetic expression and never called me Monica Lewinsky again. She was afraid of me, a little seven-year-old girl.
#32
My older brother (who was in high school and a foot and a half taller at the time) threw me into the ceiling and let me drop to the floor. So for the next year or so I would wait until he would leave the house, and go into his closet and [wet] his shoes. I didn't tell him for around 20 years, but when I did he said " you little [jerk], I could never figure out why my feet always smelt so bad".
#33
A couple of years ago I had a boyfriend who was emotionally and verbally [mistreating] me. This boyfriend was also several inches shorter than me (I'm 5'9" and he is 5'3"). One day I got so fed up with him I put all of his favorite foods in the pantry above the stove, a place a man of his diminutive stature could not reach.
#34
Guy hit my dog with a car.
I piled thermite around his tires and lit it off, they were welded to the driveway. Had to remove a section of his driveway to get the car off it.
#35
I lived in a house with a bunch of people, including a biology student who really didn't get on with this one girl. She ended up being responsible for his $1000 laptop getting stolen. She knew the guy who took it, but wasn't willing to do anything to help him get it back or compensate him for the loss. In retaliation, he stole a nice culture of E. Coli from his labs and spread it over a load of her food.
#36
My friend hit me (jokingly) so I licked my hand and rubbed it all over his face.
In hindsight, the fact that I kept doing it for weeks afterward was probably what made it weird.
#37
My neighbour knocked my Dads motorcycle and simply left it on the floor, it smashed a mirror and they didn't even leave their insurance details. My Dad refused to call the police, saying they probably didn't notice, yet I saw them look at it and proceed to carry on with their usual lives. This annoyed me so much, I decided to call 20 taxis, 5 chinese takeaways, and a [exotic dancer] dressed as a police man to their house all for 1am in the morning. It was a really jerkish thing to do but we all do stupid things, right?
#38
Dated a girl who I really liked, but she was always hot and cold to me, and when she was cold, she could really treat me like [trash]. It took me way longer than it should have, but I finally manned up and dumped her. She proceeded to alternately try to win me back and seduce my friends; basically, an immature reaction from an immature person.
So, couple of weeks later, I meet an amazing girl at a concert, and we start dating. This new girl is awesome, cool, fun, but within a week of dating her, I realize something else about her. My ex had had a job the summer before, which had her basically spending the whole summer with a girl that she had developed a major complex about. Wherever the two went anywhere together, guys would always hit on this other girl and never hit on my ex. It got to the point, that my ex had developed this major anxiety-complex regarding this girl she worked with. By pure random chance, I had gone out and met that girl, and was now dating her.
The satisfaction I felt when I showed up at a party around a month after the breakup, and letting ex see who I was with was immense. She had a total melt down that included crying, screaming and ranting, before screaming at the guy she came with, "Take me home right now, we're leaving!"
To which he replied, "Call a cab psycho, I'm not taking you anywhere."
It's the little moments in life that you have to cherish.
#39
A buddy of mine posted an ad on CL saying that I was selling my 2 year old Vespa for $500. Obviously that deal was not to be passed up so throughout the day, I had about 50 people calling my cell home trying to buy my scooter. He finally took the ad down at the end of the day and we had a good laugh.
But I was plotting.
The next week, I went to google images and found some pictures of home entertainment systems and super-nice furniture and made a CL ad stating that, "I'm being deployed to Guam by the Army and my family is coming with me." I proceeded to list all of the items he was "selling" and gave them crazy low, but not impossible, prices. XBox games for $5 each. Flat screen for $150, etc... Enough to make it feel real, yet unresistable. I added a photo of his house that I snagged from Google Streetview and said in the ad, "the sale starts Saturday morning at 4am. Please don't try to swing by on Friday as you'll promptly be turned away. See you Saturday!" He was awoken at 4am on Saturday morning by a line of people all SUPER excited for the deal of a lifetime. He had to spend the rest of his Saturday morning trying explain to people that it was all a joke and they needed to go home. Understandably, they were PISSED. I felt kinda bad for those people. They were collateral damage in our war.
#40
I used to work in a toxic management environment, lead by a real jerk at the helm. I could bore you with how much he made life miserable for everyone around him, but I won't--suffice to say a number of us quit and sued (and settled out of court). Ultimately he was forced to retire, but that isn't how revenge was exacted.
If you keep reading, be forewarned that this is some higher-level chess-like evil, to be played out over a miserable life time...here goes... I was in IT in a senior management position (read: I was not a tech.) One day the jerk is walking by my desk and he tosses his Blackberry at me (yes, literally...it hit me in the chest and landed in my lap). He says, "This doesn't work...fix it", before he walks away. *sigh* I get to work. After spending some time on the phone with the company's wireless carrier and after investigating his user settings and preferences, I discover that he has elected to save ALL outgoing email on his device. Of course once his account size limit was reached, his account auto-disabled. I figured I would see if there were one or two attachments responsible for the bottleneck in his account. ***To my surprise, the emails sent and received indicated with zero uncertainty that this married father of two had been having an affair with another man. I was surprised. So, what to do with this information? Especially during the court case, after, etc. I did nothing in the end. He had been living a lie his entire life and it had made him who he is, a miserable person who bullied everyone around him to cope. If I were to reveal his affair(s), he would have been set free after a period of upset and turmoil in his personal life (possible divorce, children issues, etc.). He would have been liberated to live his life how he was meant to. Possibly, he would have know real love and happiness. If only someone had forced his hand, because he could not do it himself. Although the hot-head part of me wanted to shout his secret to the world, I realized that by doing nothing and keeping my mouth shut, I was entombing him in his mortal mental prison for the rest of his life.
#41
I worked at a place during college that served sandwiches and coffe. It was a cool place, a lot of people hung out there and I liked everyone i worked with, but my boss was the biggest [jerk] in the world. One week on pay day he got all the employees together and told us that we wouldn't be getting paid that week and we would have to wait until next week. We were fine with that but when the next pay day rolled around he didn't have the money. This went on for about a month. We were all working under the table and he told us that if we quit we would never get any of the money he owed us (we later found out he never planned on paying us). We found out he was blowing his cash on coke and gambling. He stopped showing up to work for like 3 weeks so it was just the employees running the store. In those three weeks we gave away pretty much everything in the store for free. Literally emptied it out. Anyone who came in and ordered something got it for free. We even had a party there one night, open mic and everything. So he finally shows up and he looks like he has been awake for a week straight. He comes in freaking the [hell] out, threatens to beat us, starts throwing things around. I was in the back and saw that he was double parked outside, so i call the campus towing company that was literally a block away. While he is freaking out at us one of the employees says, "hey, your truck is getting towed." he runs outside and watches his Escalade get towed away, we all bounced out the back door and never looked back.
#42
When I was 11 I finally got my revenge on an evil bully who had made my life hell for six years. It wasn't big and it wasn't clever; there was no plotting or planning; just pure, physical, simple and satisfying revenge.
He was riding circles around me, literally, at the park on his bicycle. He would come closer and then further away, staying just out of reach, taunting me all the while.
Reddit, this guy had caused me no end of emotional and physical torment for years... never in a way I could prove, and this was long before schools took bullying seriously. He never left a mark.. but his words cut deep. And that night at the park, I snapped.
With andrenalin-fuelled speed, I jumped, leaping not where he *was* but where he was *going to be*, extending my foot like a missile towards his bike. It connected, knocking him flying to the ground where he lay in total shock.
Seeing him there on the floor, unable to run or hide, I showed no mercy. I stood over him, jumped with both feet as high in the air as high as I possibly could. If bullet-time had been invented then, the cameras would have swung around me like Neo smashing an Agent into a wall - but this was no simulation. When I landed - perfectly over his [privates] - the scream resounded across the park, and echoes through both our lives.
I walked away, flawlessly victorious. Yes, there were repercussions - his parents talked to my parents, apologies were made... but I was never bullied again, and I walk through life today, knowing that nobody *ever* runs circles around me and gets away with it.
**TL; dr: - knocked a bully off his bike and stamped on his [privates]. Never looked back.**.
#43
I once rented a house with some friends from some.. mostly sketchy east indian landlords whom had the intention of knocking it down in three years. we arranged that we could build a recording studio in the house and build all the walls and baffles we needed and after 36 months, they would knock it down.
flash forward two years and they came by one random day without any paperwork and said "next month we're knocking it down, so you can move out right?". long story short, we demanded the paperwork and they basically disappeared for six months and then came back and argued again but I agreed to move out to get these sketchy people out of our lives. the house was starting to fall apart and there was ZERO chance of any repairs getting done. but after moving out my $1000 deposit on a house that was demolished was never given back.
I called, I showed up, I sent letters.. but they basically disappeared again, and I never got the money back.
so we all move out and I get an apartment down the way and move all my stuff in. I stay there for two and a half years until I agree to move in with my girlfriend. I pack up all my stuff and call a friend of mine whom has a truck and get him to help me haul all my big unused furniture to the dump. An hour later I get a call of him saying how his truck had broken down and he wasn't going to make it to help me get rid of my stuff.
I didn't know what to do. My apartment landlady was awesome and nice and I would help her out carrying stuff and paid my rent on time and I didn't want to mess up that relationship by just leaving my heavy old couch and bed and dresser lying in the parking lot. I had to ditch this stuff somewhere...
So, one by one, I carried the pieces of furniture down the road and around the corner and lined them up against the fence of the new house that stood in place of the old house.... and after a quick, deep breath... as fast as I could, I started throwing the parts of the furniture up and over the fence and into the old landlords back yard.
I had no idea, but the sketchy old landlords had actually moved into the finished new house and were currently having dinner when old furniture started falling into their back yard. The balcony door opened up and I heard "who is that?! who is there?!" in Rav's stereotypical accent. I knew it was her.
I launched the last part of the headboard over the fence, satisfied in knowing it would be around half of the amount of what she owed me to have a cleaning crew come up and haul this stuff away.
#44
I've never been much of a fighter, but I had my day:
I was driving on Port St Lucie blvd and this truck was tailgating me like I've never seen. I really thought he was going to hit me. I pulled over to let him pass, and he gets in front of me and starts hitting his brakes.
I pulled into a convenience store to get away, and he gets out. I'm a big guy, but this dude was a bear, towering over me. As soon as I sensed he was going to swing on me after I asked what his problem was, I gave him a quick jab to the throat and watched all 400+ lbs barrel into the ground. I quickly ran back to my car and sped away before he got up and ate me.
#45
A couple years ago whenever I went out with my friends I'd notice anytime I'd put down my cigarettes a couple would go missing. So I decided to half un-pack one, put some gun powder in it (not enough to hurt anyone) and then re-pack it. I left my pack out for bait and just played the waiting game. Later that night I got to watch it blow up in one of my buddies face. The pure look of shock is this one of my favorite memories. Also no one stole my smokes after than.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 minutes ago
We used to play with cigarette bangers at school. It was always funny to catch the serial smoke-cadgers!
#46
This is stupid and juvenile, but I was once friends with a guy whose girlfriend was incredibly insecure and deeply jealous, to the point to demanding that he not hang out with me and other people with whom he'd been friends for years, long before she was in the picture. (Newsflash: you can like a guy and appreciate his sense of humor without wanting to get into his pants.)
Finally, I got fed up and started feeding her insecurities, flirting with her boyfriend at parties, dropping hints that we'd been intimate in the past - really catty stuff. It made her absolutely insane to the point that she wanted to control every move he made, know where he was at all times, and so on. He finally realized how miserable his life had become because of her control issues and broke it off. Sadly, we kind of all drifted apart over time, but I still think I did him a favor.
#47
This banquet venue [messed] up my wife's wedding shower. Held it in a smaller room even though they said they wouldn't. They booked a larger group for the room she wanted and didn't bother to call her. Screwed up the meals, charged her mother for more than they said they would, etc...
So I wrote a letter saying we were unhappy and they wrote a letter back basically saying [buzz] off. So I bought a domain name one letter different than theirs and linked it to Lemon Party.
#48
I had a friend who I had lent quite a bit of money to. He kept saying he'd pay me back but it never happened. I ended up selling the expensive aftermarket hood off his sports car one day while he wasn't home. The end.
#49
I had been working with a small company for about two years, During that time I got a good friend hired in a position similar to I. The owner of the company had a nasty misstress habit and spent the majority of the profits on her, so he started screwing us over on salary & bonuses pretty hard. I talked with my friend and my supervisor and they thought we were getting shafted, but I was the only one with enough guts to talk to the owner. In the meantime, I got a good offer from a competing company as a backup in case things went south. When I confronted him about it, he got pretty pissed because he thought we were a "family" company and how dare I go behind his back. He proceeds to play the supervisor and my friend against me (both female, and I suspect he and the supervisor were/are hooking up). Luckily, the supervisor was pretty stupid and I would fix her computer all the time, so I knew all of her passwords, email, system, facebook, etc. I set up her ichat to auto log and saw the conversations between her an the owner. I knew I was going to get axed, so I accepted the other offer and left. No one at the company had any idea how to manage a vpn, so I still had access months after I left. I heard from clients that my old company was trashing my reputation, so I logged in and reviewed some chats. Ended up finding some pretty intimate chats between the supervisor and owner, complete with sexting pics. Those were forwarded to the appropriate spouses from an anonymous email address and also posted to the supervisors facebook page. While I was in the network too, some important files may of been misplaced. As a result, the company lost tons of business and my "friend" had to be laid off.
TL:DR Got screwed over by a friend so I found electronic evidence of an affair between employees and spread it on facebook.
#50
My best friend since I was 3 years old, started texting and flirting, then eventually sleeping with my boyfriend of 7 years. He was apologetic, regretful, and begging for me back, as was she. It was a mistake they said, never happen again they said. Until it happened again.. Well my best friend had this obsessive relationship with this guy billy, who was so heartbroken by her infidelity, he came to me. He felt like a loser having just lost both his girl and his job, so I hired him at my job where I was a manager. We became good friends, and my now ex best friend was going nuts. I then started a rumor that billy and I were dating and are serious about it. She saw us in a car together, while I was bringing him home, and went nuts. She started driving like a psycho, and texting me saying "how could you do this to me??! Why would you do this to me??!" but I ignored them. I dipped off the road, and dropped him off at home, and unfortunately had to fire him for stealing money from work.
All in all, I got my revenge. I [messed] with her head. I [messed] with my ex's head. Got them all upset,but never actually did the horrible act of cheating that they did. But they all think I did, and I'm ok with that.
Zig Zag Wanderer 24 minutes ago
You messed with my head too, trying to figure out who's who....
#51
When I was around 13/14 I used to hang out with my 21 year old neighbors. I didn't realize at the time that all these guys would do is convince me to do stupid [things] then run away when I got in trouble. This continued until I was about 17 when I finally realized what was going on.
I was furious and wanted revenge but by the time I thought up a plan these guys had moved. I decided I would make my move anyways. These guys were serious stoners and always had parties. I went to a party once and chilled in the back. In my car I had 5 cartons of heavy whipping cream that I had purchased 6 months prior (I left them in the fridge until that day). I took each carton and poured one in each of the air vents. I had one carton left over so I poured it into the A/C unit (not sure if it did anything). The smell coming from the cartons was so rancid and disgusting that I had to stop myself from barfing a few times.
A few weeks later the house was up for sale, no one would buy it because of the smell though( or so I heard). They gave up on selling it and tried burning it down. After an investigation the oldest brother was arrested for fraud and served 1 year in prison. I haven't heard anything about them since.
#52
Didn't do this, but I witnessed it. I was at camp and there was this one really obnoxious kid who kept getting on everyone's nerves. He was a know it all and a tattle tale. So one night we're in the bunk area and it's just me and this other guy that had the bunk across from me. The little doucher had left a giant bag of twizzlers open on his bed that was still about 3/4 full. The guy across from me noticed the twizzlers, hopped down off his bunk and said "watch this". He then proceeds to take every twizzler and rub his testicles with them. An hour later when the kid came back I had to leave because I couldn't hold in my laughter at the sight of that little [jerk] eating his twizzlers.
#53
My apartment neighbor dinged my car door once. My mint, red S2000 had a ding, and his old silver Eclipse had red paint on it.
I kicked in his door panel from top to bottom, left to right.
#54
I'm still a bit ashamed of mine. to be honest I over reacted a lot but eventually I evened out the situation.
When I was in my early 20s I was a delivery driver for the only pizza joint in a relatively small town. I would zip through traffic and in general be a nuisance to other motorists.
One day I was cruising down a hill and the car in front of me started turning right, into their driveway. I attempted to pass them in the oncoming lane and as I did the driver pulled away from the driveway they were pulling into to block the road. I screeched on my breaks as the driver proceeded to get out of his car and shout at me for "Crossing a double yellow line to pass" (Not illegal in my state) I told him the law was in my favor and to please remove his car from the road before I called the police. He continued to berate me, calling me names and generally being a [jerk]. I eventually drove around his car on the curb and continued on with my deliveries.
Later that night I had "tied one on" and decided the guy needed a little payback. I drove to his house in the middle of the night and seeing his car parked in the driveway I knew what had to be done. I found a brick in a parking lot across the road and threw it hard enough not only to go through his back window but straight through his side window as well. I then got in my car and drove thinking I would be seen, as the sound of two windows smashing must have woken anyone inside.
for several years I didn't think about the incident much, by the next morning I realized I had been a total [jerk] and just tried to justify it as best I could.
One day I got a delivery for the same address I had vandalized. I approached the door fearing the worste, that he would recognize me and put two and two together. When I rang the doorbell I heard some shuffling and a while later the door opened. The man who had yelled at me was now in a wheelchair, injured it seemed. He didn't give me a second glance, took his pizza and signed the receipt with a 5 dollar tip. I didn't even notice the tip until cashing out later that night and a feeling of deep regret came over me as I totaled my tips. Before I had finished my math I took his receipt, scratched out the five dollar tip and charged him only for the meal.
For the next twelve months the guy ordered a pizza almost every day and every day I would scratch off his 5 dollar tip. By the time he had fully recovered and stopped ordering his lunch from our pizza place I had scratched off roughly 900 dollars worth of tips.
Moral- I ended up worse off for getting revenge.
#55
In college, there was this "bro house" on the corner of our street (this was sophomore year, I was living in a town house with 3 other good friends.) This house was always having huge parties in the back yard and the yard was always littered with solo cups and beer cans. Typical bro house.
Well they had this little spot on the sidewalk where they had moved the cement curb slabs and they could park a car under this tree (street parking was a [pain] because of sweepers), which wasn't really a parking spot, they just made it to avoid the hassle of street parking. Late one night I find no parking spots except for in front of this thing, but I didn't realize where I was actually parking. There wasn't a car in the spot so I didn't think anything of it. Well, one of the d-bags did not like that. I wake up and my car is keyed all up and down both sides, and a giant smiley face on the hood. A week later someone had parked a PT Cruiser there and the same thing happened.
Fast forward about 2 months, we are moving out to a new place. So I get this great idea. They had this window that was near the sidewalk and the guy who parked his truck on the side (the one who keyed my car) had an electric bass on a stand there. You could hear them playing sometimes, but they were awful. It was just really pathetic Metallica cover songs. Anyway, I grabbed a cinder block and threw it through their window, and it smashed right into the bass, breaking the neck right in half. And then I bolted. Told my roommates about it a month later.
I don't even feel a little bad.
#56
I am gay, when I was younger and more flamboyant ( my mask is really good now since this cruel world is not very kind to us) I was picked on a lot, I got [beat up] one day at school. It was Friday.
That night I go to the bully's house with my little red wagon and 2 bags of cement and proceed to mix it in the wagon and smear it all over his bike (he said it was worth a lot) and dad's car (Porsche) covered the wheels, breaks, exhaust, the rad, all over the windows. Then with the remaining cement, I blocked the doors to the house.
Turned out the family had gone to their cottage that weekend, on Monday walking to school I see the fire department breaking down the doors and later that day I saw how upset the kid was. I still feel bad about it today 9years later.
#57
Okay so...
I was madly in love with a girl, and going through a patch of depression. I had a job, hadn't had it long, and don't have jobs often. I'm one of those often-unemployed types.
An old best friend of mine had recently broke up with his girlfriend, and even though he was 21, it was his first girlfriend, so he was understandably upset. He was an old best friend for a reason - We had an argument a month or two prior, and hadn't spoken since. I thought that it'd be best to be mature, ring him, comfort him, be a friend in his time of need. As I would want friends to do for me.
So, he started hanging out with my girlfriend and I, he told us all about his problems, even if it meant he interrupts us on Valentine's Day. I cared about him and he was sad, so... We let him off, ignored it, continued.
This mad patch of depression for me was getting worse, and was causing stress with my own relationship.
The three of us had arranged to go into the local city, go shopping or whatever, but my girlfriend and I had an argument. Since, with the depression, I was upset, it was decided my girlfriend would find someone else to go into the city with, and my friend would hang out with me.
In the morning, I was alone. Hadn't heard from anyone. I rang my girlfriend, she was on the train into the city with my friend. My friend who said he'd be there for me. This is when I started disliking how much time he was spending with her.
Shortly after this, whilst me and my girlfriend are on a break, he admits he "loves" her or whatever. I'm pissed off.
Fast forward a few months, I have regular contact with my now-ex, but we have broken up. She isn't with my old friend, she didn't like him, but if he comes near me, I'd likely [end] him. I don't deal well with betrayal.
After I had heard he was shouting at my friends in the street, telling them how much of a [jerk] I am, I snap. I decide to let go of the secret he entrusted to me, of why he and his ex broke up. He was transgender.
I found his flickr account where he posted pictures of himself as a girl, under the name "Katie" and posted them on Facebook, tagging all his family and friends in the pictures. After breifly explaining this story, some of them said they couldn't blame me, others thought I was the worst person in the world.
I didn't care. I was there for him, and he betrayed me. He had even sent a letter into where I worked accusing me of stealing in an attempt to get me fired and ruin my life. He took my girlfriend away, someone who during my depression was incredibly important to me. Literally more important than my life. As far as I was concerned with that mindset, he had ruined my life, and I deserved to take his.
So, his secret was out. It very much split his social life. Some people accepted him, others thought he was weird. It didn't matter to me, I wanted some form of revenge, and I thought doing a public Facebook announcement was at least less cowardly than an anonymous letter trying to get me fired. (We know he sent the letter because his sister handed it in, claiming it to be her brother's CV. She honestly thought it was, but my supervisor, who knew my problems with my old pal quite well, knew who her brother was, and was the one who received the letter.)
**TL;DR: I tried to be the better man and help an old friend through a rough patch, he ends up trying to steal my girlfriend and get me fired, all whilst I was suffering with depression, so I posted pictures of his transgender persona on Facebook and tag his family/friends.**
NOTE: I have nothing against the LGBT community. After he had told me, I thought no differently of him. I merely did it because he was a horrible person, who deserved to feel pain of some kind. Not because he was transgender. I've had other trans friends in the past, and some I am still friends with. So yeah. Nothing to do with his orientation or gender whatever. It was just because of who he was.
#58
I was living with this girl and bought some concert tickets for no reason. She asked me why I got them, and I jokingly said as a grad present (high school).
Well, we broke up, and the day before the concert I sat bolt upright in bed and thought, "Where are the tickets?" I looked everywhere, called my friends, and eventually called her. "Oh, my concert tickets?" she says. No amount of pleading or threatening police action did any good. Suddenly, the gears in my head clicked, and I calmly told her to "have fun at the show."
Ticketmaster was more than willing to give me replacements for my stolen tickets.
#59
Not me, but one of my coworkers at a restaurant was fooling around and hit one of the cooks in the head with a tomato or a piece of dough or something. Either way, when the culprit went to leave work, the cook was on top of the roof and dumped a bucket of water on his head as he walked out the door.
What do you think ?
Michael Largey 48 minutes ago
A classmate and his henchmen bullied, used, and betrayed me throughout grade and high school while pretending to be my friend. One spring I happened to encounter them again when I visited the college they went to. They were considering quitting college to go pick apples in Washington state. Why? I didn't ask. I just cheered them on and acted completely jealous that I could go when they could. They took the bait and dropped out to go to Washington. Never heard of them again. No regrets except, of course, "Sorry, Washington".
Michael Largey 48 minutes ago
A classmate and his henchmen bullied, used, and betrayed me throughout grade and high school while pretending to be my friend. One spring I happened to encounter them again when I visited the college they went to. They were considering quitting college to go pick apples in Washington state. Why? I didn't ask. I just cheered them on and acted completely jealous that I could go when they could. They took the bait and dropped out to go to Washington. Never heard of them again. No regrets except, of course, "Sorry, Washington".
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Indrė Lukošiūtė
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Mindaugas Balčiauskas
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