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We’ve all experienced thinking of the perfect response to a person, but the moment had already passed. It’s like that one Seinfeld episode when George Costanza had a clever comeback to an insult from a coworker, but it had already been hours later.
However, since many conversations now occur online through comment boxes and social media, timing is no longer a key factor. You can deliver the ultimate clapback days after, and it would still sting like vinegar on an open wound.
Here are just a few excellent examples. These responses were so well-crafted, you’d wish you had thought of them. It also proves that ordinary people on the internet can easily be top-notch comedy writers. Enjoy scrolling through!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Or Just Very Friendly
RELATED:
#2
All My Life Consists Of Now
#3
Can Also Try Exploiting People
Geoffrey Scott 4 months ago (edited)
..or using your N(ame), I(mage), and L(ikeness) to start a movement like MAGA? Dude is c..a..s..h..ing in!
Crafting a quick-witted comeback isn’t solely about having a sharp, creative mind. Part of it is having excellent listening skills, according to comedian and artistic director Abigail Paul.
In an interview with the BBC, Paul shared an example wherein you’re dealing with a colleague who enjoys making snide remarks. In such situations, Paul advises training your brain to listen to their words, so you can eventually fire back the perfect retort.
#4
Cows Don’t K**l Sharks
#5
Well I Mean They’re Not Wrong
#6
An Amateur Pilot At Best
A knee-jerk reaction to an insult would be to issue a more scathing response. At that point, your emotions are more heated, as your goal becomes more about winning the argument at all costs.
However, stooping to the same level of disparagement can only turn the conversation toxic, which only makes the responding person look worse. According to business consultant Belina Raffy, who worked with a condescending manager, harsh, uncalled-for responses typically come from a palace of insecurity.
“(Negative responses) increase tension, make a person feel excluded or inferior, and as though they are not in the 'in group' which is in the know,” Raffy said in the same BBC interview.
#7
I Laugh But It Hurts
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
At 62, so many answers - my estrogen, my skin elasticity, my bone density, my recall, my weight, my blood pressure ... I could go on but my energy is flagging. lol
#8
When Rejection Is A Win
#9
Well, She Did Ask For Pictures
Delivering the perfect off-the-cuff response is also considered a career-building skill, according to executive speech coach Darlene Price. In an interview with Forbes, she explained that such a skill not only exudes confidence and credibility but also ensures that your ideas are heard and acted upon.
#10
Name This Plant
#11
Get On The Bus
#12
Yep, Can Only Be Eaten Once
So, how do you develop the muscle to deliver the perfect response when necessary? Price says it begins with a calm mind, free of negative self-talk that would slow down reaction times in the brain.
“Couple positive self-talk with some nice deep breaths, and before you know it, you’ve transformed stress and tension into a relaxed state of mind and body,” she said.
#13
Brilliance Meets Confusion
#14
No Lies Were Told
#15
It Hurts Thinking About It
Below-the-belt responses are typically blurted-out answers that the person likely didn’t think through. As a result, they may sound haphazard, flimsy, and weak. This is why Price suggests taking a two-second pause to organize your thoughts.
“Seize the moment, trust in your innate abilities, and take the time to deliver an intelligent reply,” she said, adding that silence is also an effective reply to communicate that you are “thoughtful, deliberate, and in charge of the situation.”
#16
Bit Weird To Be Asking For Such A Young Photographer
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
If you hand an infant an SLR, they'll turn it into a rattle in no time.
#17
Mind If I Comb Over?
#18
I Can’t Imagine It Tastes Very Good
#19
Wax vs. Parchment Paper
BarBeeGirl 4 months ago
My mom would wrap sandwiches in wax paper so naturally as an adult I bought a roll of wax paper when I moved into my first house. Im 63 YO and I still have to same roll
#20
So True
#21
Well Yes, But Actually Yes
#22
Definitely, He Will Not
#23
His Wife Commented On His Post
#24
Ludicrous Speed
#25
Whoops
#26
I Wonder What Do They Have In Common
#27
To Ask About Dirty Toilets
#28
Driving 101
#29
Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth
#30
My Wife Would Have Given The Ring Back If I Made Our Proposal Something Political
Kyra Heiker 4 months ago
If you're thinking about other men while you're on your knees I think pride month has already won.
#31
I Don't Think Three Fingers Are Too Much
#32
Every Woman Has Encountered This Man
#34
Ingredients And Prononciation
#36
Look Up At The Sky, It's Work Smarter-Not Harder Man
Tucker Cahooter 4 months ago
I always learned it as "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" which is a lot less than what was originally written and makes more sense too
#37
They Never Said You Couldn't Use Numbers
#38
At Least 2 Pairs Are Needed
#39
I Never Thought Of Earth That Way
#40
The Three Faces Of Truth
#41
And Likely Get Arrested For Indecent Exposure
#42
Gotta Love A Technicality
Tim Gearing 4 months ago
I think every American taxpayer could be considered in this group. It is their money after all.
#43
Its Always The Instagram Comments
#44
An Interaction With My Mother
Child of the Stars 4 months ago
If anyone's interested, a real answer would be diatomaceous earth. Depending on the infestation, it can take a long time (it took about a year for the ones that kept coming into my kitchen), but it's safe to use around children and mammalian pets (I specify mammalian because idk the effect on reptiles or birds).
#45
The New Industry Standard: Normal Screen Size
#46
No Way He Guessed That
#47
Anything Below 20 Hz As Well
#48
All In The Cloud
#49
Worst Loaf Of Bread Ever Baked
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
I think most or all of the yeast died, resulting in a very heavy dough that takes forever to heat and set internally. But the ingredients still taste like bread, so I'd slice it very thin, toast it, and say it's my new melba toast recipe.
#50
This Guy Has Good Flirting Skills
#51
It's Not In The UK
Doug Moyer 4 months ago
Greater Los Angeles is nearly the same size as Greater Tokyo. And also not in England.
#52
That’s The Way To Go
#53
Will You Marry Me?
#54
The War Of 1812
#56
Not The Healthiest Breakfast
#57
Good Soldiers Follow Orders
#58
A Shape Consisting Of Infinite Points That Are At A Distance "R" From A Central Point
ColdSteelRonin 4 months ago
Correct. A Perfect Circle is a band fronted by Maynard James Keenan.
#59
He's Out Of Line, But He's Right
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
Just widen your horizon, son. I've read all of these and would love to have a husband who read these series, too!
#60
The Rarest Steak In The World
LillieMean 4 months ago
It looks like some of the handmade raspberrysorbet lemonscream sunset fairyfart soaps that are sold in small boutiques.
#61
Pretty Sure Alligators Can Be Efficient
#64
Keep Your Teeth Natural, Guys
#65
The Holy Roman Empire
Tucker Cahooter 4 months ago
I was born in Australia which apparently still doesn't exist either
#66
Dave Chapelle And Joe Rogan
#67
That's One Harry Hand
#68
Not The Life You'd Want
#70
Can't You Feel My Popcorn Crunch?
#72
I Know His Coworkers Hate Him
#74
He Did Explain
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Emilu 4 months ago
This was a fun post. Thanks to the author and the pandas with the awesome comments!
FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
In Chrome and Firefox, the Gallery view text and arrow/symbol makes it hard to read 90% of the joke set ups. Super annoying.
blixten1982 4 months ago
Keith Johnstone was a famous improvisation comedy teacher and one thing he used to teach improvisers was: Don't try to be clever, be obvious.
Emilu 4 months ago
This was a fun post. Thanks to the author and the pandas with the awesome comments!
FreeTheUnicorn 4 months ago
In Chrome and Firefox, the Gallery view text and arrow/symbol makes it hard to read 90% of the joke set ups. Super annoying.
blixten1982 4 months ago
Keith Johnstone was a famous improvisation comedy teacher and one thing he used to teach improvisers was: Don't try to be clever, be obvious.
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