Pretty people have it easier, that's just the way we think it is. Research can actually back up this claim. In 2021, scientists found that we perceive attractive individuals as having better morals than unattractive people. Other researchers discovered that we think attractive people are more trustworthy. Author of Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful economist Daniel S. Hamermesh even claimed that good-looking people get higher wages and better loan deals at the bank.
But what about those who stand next to them? The people who endure the disapproving looks, snickering, and demeaning comments? The partners of attractive individuals don't have it easy, and one netizen wanted to know what they had to say. So they asked, "Those who are dating very attractive people, what is it like?"
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Years ago, I brought my girlfriend (now wife) to Texas to meet my mom for the first time. Everything went normally.
The first time my mom and I were alone, she turned to me and said, “You must be really good in bed.”.
Oof, add embarrassment to the reminder that you are ugly, from your mom hahaha...
Plus the ick factor of imagining your mom imagining you...
Load More Replies...I'm guessing she had a REALLY hard labor with you and was just evening up the playing field
Men are constantly sending drinks to her, even if I’m standing next to her. And yes I drink it in front of them.
Each time someone buys her a drink and if they are watching her, turn to her and give her a big kiss.
You’re not stealing the drinks, you’re… testing them to see if they’ve been spiked.
My wife is very pretty, and a few years younger than me. We were at a club pre covid and I whispered a bad joke in her ear, she rolled her eyes and walked away. Some other dudes saw it and thought I just got rejected, took pity on me and bought me some drinks while we talked about radiohead and D&D.
Her "friends" trying to get her to come to her senses and dump me. 15 years and 2 kids later, none of those friends are left.
My favourite memory was being at a bar with my partner but also with some friends. So we're all just hanging out. Not clear with who is with who. This bloke sees my partner and is legit stunned by her. She isn't aware, but as he's watching. She comes up to me and gives me a kiss/cuddle.
He was half impressed, half bummed. Gave me an approving nod and moved on.
It's nice when they're respectful that way.
My dude just kinda sits back and watches to make sure I'm safe. Most folk can immediately tell how taken I am, but there is occasional cluelessness. If they're worth having a conversation with, my guy usually makes friends. Personally don't think I'm prettier than him, but he disagrees.
true to username but damn, touch some grass and think optimistically about the world for a second oh my gosh
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We’re a queer couple, which I think contributes to people assuming we CANNOT be together. I must be her weird friend she’s dragged out with her. And even when girls KNOW I’m her partner, they’ll hit on her, in front of me, side-eyeing me like I’m a symbol of her low self-esteem. We get offered a lot of three ways and group sex where the subtext is obviously “I want to sleep with her, and you can also be there.”
Fortunately she is obsessed with me which makes it easy not to get jealous. We’re best friends. I’m obsessed with her and while her looks are a big perk, the real reason is we just get each other. We’ll go to parties and spend the whole time giggling with each other in a corner.
as it should be. all the best couples i know would also just be friends if they weren’t attracted.
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It’s annoying. I know my husband is hot, and he gets more attractive with age. I’ve had two kids and been through some rough stuff mentally which has aged me. Kinda sucks. One night we were out at a bar and some drunk girl tries to flirt with him while I was in the bathroom. I walk up to him since he was holding my drink. She looked me up and down and goes “wait…he’s with YOU?!”. I’m not a violent person. I almost punched her in the throat.
Girl's attitude seemed to be "Why aren't you (the husband) as shallow as I expected you to be??"
I had a boyfriend years ago who was seriously drop-dead gorgeous-I was plus sized at the time (about a UK 18, USA 14) Women used to hit on him regularly, even if I was there. One night we were in a bar, and two women were trying their hardest but getting nowhere. I went to the bathroom, and one of them followed me. She demanded to know why someone like that was with someone like me "look at you, you're FAT!" I was a bit tipsy, so I screeched back loudly "OH MY GOD! I'M FAT! When the f*ck did that happen??!!' The other girls in the queue burst out laughing, and she slunk off. I've never managed such a quick come-back in my life before or since, but it was definitely fun at the time.
I had someone say the same thing to me at a friend’s wedding. I replied “Ah. I see why you do have a plus one.”
I have nor the looks nor the personality but I have a tall (Dutch Tall) very handsome and real smart sweetheart of a wife and I am still figuring out what I did to deserve that
My drill sergeant after seeing my wife pulled me out of ranks in front of 3 battalions and asked me who she was. When I replied she was my wife he said what is this? Be kind to animals week? Did I win the lottery?
I'm probably going to hell for it, but "be kind to animals week" made me laugh! :))
I don't think you will, but if you do, look me up, because I'll be there too.
Load More Replies...Reminds me of a story my husband told me from when he was in boot camp. Said the guy looked like the vulture from Looney Toons but his wife was drop dead gorgeous. I guess she was asked (one too many times?) why she was with him and she said "He makes me laugh." I doubt the fact that this guy was fairly well off hurt much either.
Pretty much required for a drill sergeant. Can't have the recruits getting a big head.
You get a big head if you don't get insulted about your looks? Absolutely unnecessary, people are perfectly able to learn to always follow orders without getting insulted or humiliated.
Load More Replies...I've seen this happen. When I was in Army basic we had a guy named Frank that was barely young enough to enlist, like late 30s. Most of us were still 18 or 19. The guy literally looked like that baby buzzard in old Warner Bros. cartoons. Family Day comes around and our families get to come see us at Ft Knox. Me and a couple of guys see this B-E-A-utiful woman, absolute STUNNER, dressed like she just stepped off the cover of Vogue, walking through the small crowd. We all think she -has to be- an officers wife. Nope. Walks right up to Frank, wraps her arms around his neck and plants one on him. Even the Drill Instructors were shocked.
most drill sergeants are mean but that's only because they want to get you humbled and disciplined. not a******s.
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It can be tough because I see all the women staring at him all the time. He's in a profession where he deals with lots of women all day long, and I see the longing in their eyes because he is not only gorgeous, but brilliant and funny. He thinks I'm more attractive than him. I'm not.
This man will be accused of cheating the whole time due to her self esteem issues.
It's great. People assume I'm rich. As soon as they realize I'm not, they assume I have a huge d**k.
It means he's not attractive but his girl is. People assume she's with him for his money and when they find out he's not rich, they assume he has a big d i c k. lol
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People treat her very nicely and they also treat me nice but only when I’m with her lol.
People should treat other people in reaction to how they act, not how they look.
My significant other is WAY more attractive than me. Other girls fawn over him. It doesn’t bother me, because I know where his heart lies. We were out on a date one night, every time I walked away to go to the restroom or get a drink I would come back to some skinny little thot in my seat. He would be polite, but never flirtatious. Then calmly tell them to move so his girl could sit back down.
On a different night I had a bartender tell me I didn’t have a shot with the “grey eyed guy”. I was already living with the “ grey eyed guy”.
Wow, if calling women ugly wh*res is how you act when you're not bothered, I'd hate to see you when you're pressed. Also, multiple women are sitting down in your seat while you're in the bathroom? And you're sure your BF is just "being polite"?
Careful, your bitter is showing. I know lots of very attractive people who also have brilliant personalities. Just because you didn't happen to get on with one attractive person, doesn't mean all attractive people are stupid and lacking personality.
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I’ve been standing at a bar talking to her and a random girl came up and did the body block/ initiate conversation thing to “save” her from me.
I get the motive... but me personally, I don't think we should try to butt into other people's business if we don't know the full story. Like if he was approaching her or something, then you can step in, if she looks intimidated or if she needs help but otherwise? I don't think you should try to "save" people who look ok. But as aforementioned, I do get why she might've decided to take this course of action.
I agree. I would have tried to get her attention first to see if she was ok or if he was being a creep.
Load More Replies...Guaranteed random girl went to the bar alone and wants an instant friend. The drama is over the failure of her last instant relationship.
I was in a long term relationship with a woman who looked like a super model. 6 foot tall, skinny, heart shaped face etc. She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Not exaggerating in the slightest. I was in shock the first time we made out. I just stared at her for hours and kissed her like I was in a daze.
I soon figure out that when your with a woman like this literally every dude will hit on her constantly. When she was 9 months pregnant dudes were slipping her phone numbers. It was so insane.
She definitely had a personality flaw. She thought she was better than everybody else, but was really good at being pretend nice to people.
To make a long story short she completely destroyed me. Cheated on me 3 weeks before the wedding and was ‘appalled’ that I called it off. ln her words ‘no one breaks up with me, I break up with them’. She to this day thinks that I was the s****y person for calling it off. F**k, she was so impossible.
Hope you found someone to treat you the way you deserve to be treated!
Someone who thinks that they are better than everyone else is instantly not attractive to me. I can still that person as being good-looking but it's not worth much.
Honestly I understand being attracted to someone who looks that way even if I am not for the super pretty/ modelesque etc but to remain attracted to a person with such a s****y personality which I’m sad enough to say is normal with good looking people is just beyond me. There’s nothing more attractive than a good personality or intelligence in my book. But what do I know being a 2 on a good day
Typical narcissist response. The real narcissist. You dodged a bullet there.
I remember my engagement photos. Big, juiced up photographer, “YOU are the groom?”
Kinda fun.
I spend a lot of time wondering when he’ll realize he’s out of my league and leave me.
I mean, it’s nice when he meets friends of mine and they rave about him afterwards. Like, yes. I know he’s a snack.
He’s also the sweetest man in the world. So he’s the entire package and I consider myself extremely blessed to be the one to see him naked.
I know I'm not ugly by any means, if anything I am considered by those around me to be quite attractive myself, but every time I stand next to him I feel ugly. But I am not unhappy because he only has eyes for me and always makes sure I know how highly he thinks of me.
My wife is way out of my league. When we started dating and going places this is how interactions would go.
Staff - Hello there, what can I get for you?
My wife - I'll have such and such
Staff - And for her friend? (me).
Happened so many times lol.
When I waited tables I never addressed people in relation to the others at the table. That's just stupid. It was always, "And for you?" Great way to lose a tip.
Yes!! Was about to say the same. Either this dude dealt with a lot of bad servers or he is lying.
Load More Replies...You can be friends and partners. Those are some of the most functional relationships because you can respect each other as besties, but ALSO as lovers.
And if they assumed otherwise someone would have bit their head off.
I used to also be attractive. Now I’m not. It’s hard. Women will openly stare mouth agape and approach him. He doesn’t notice half the time.
I used to be attractive too. And then I had a baby last year and I can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror. Now he gets all the looks
You spent close to a year creating life, and now you are taking care of that precious life’s every need. This is hard work. It’s exhausting. It’s meaningful, but exhausting. Give yourself grace and recognize your hormones may also not be doing you any favors mentally or physically right now, because you are human. When you can, find time just for you to walk. 5 mins, 10 mins. Not for weight loss as a goal, but to get your serotonin up. You are worth it, mama.
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The only rule is you can't get jealous. Not just on their behalf, but for your own sake. in general, being insecure is unattractive.
The simple solution to this is to ask "who is my partner going home with?" Unless the answer is "someone else" there is no need to be jealous.
Load More Replies...is this the other side of the stock photo one about the grey eyed SO?
If you can't trust your SO to make the right decision, you shouldn't be with them.
I am 6/10 on my best day and my wife wakes up at 8/10 and goes up from there. And that's at age 40. Especially when we first started dating, when she was the cute college girl, she couldn't get under 9/10 even if she tried. And here she was schlepping around with me.
It feels f*****g weird, dude. But she has reassured me enough, and I've seen her politely turn away a half dozen guys over the years, so I accept it these days. It was a hazard for a while sending her to pick up our pre-orders from GameStop because she'd get to talking with the guy behind the counter about her favorite games, then end up with him knocking on the car window to ask her out. She let him down easy and I don't get upset. I get it.
I just have to accept it as one of those things I can recognize as true without really understanding. It's like gravity I guess.
That understanding is such and important thing to have in ANY relationship!
So very true, but unfortunately so very hard to find. 😔
Load More Replies...I have the same view about my husband being the more attractive one.
I’ve only dated two women who most men would consider “10/10”. This happened before I got married, before everyone who is young started calling me “sir” to get my attention.
Both girls acted like they knew the whole room was staring at them, one of them in particular changed her whole vibe whenever we would go somewhere and go inside, like she would act like the cameras were rolling, and often times, I could tell she wasn’t even listening to what I had said, like she was trying to capture how many people were looking at her without being obvious (and pretending to be looking at me, except she was looking *through* me).
Sad to know for a fact that one day they'll loose their looks and realize they wasted their lives not developing a personality.
See if you aren't a good person and have a good personality...it's really just " congratulations on your face"
At first, took quite a long time to gain her full trust. More than once she have been being lied to or manipulated to try to get in her pants. And it is also hard for me sometimes. She is getting hit on regularly even if I'm there. I fully trust her, but on some days when I don't feel good due to work stress or fatigue or when our relationship is a bit down (like everything it has its up and downs), it adds a bit of stress, I have to relax and say to myself deep down that she loves me. As far as sex, yeah she is really cute and sexy, but sex is more than that when you love someone, does not change anything for me.
Such a sweet bond! And it's great how you can acknowledge the whole picture, not just the good stuff.
They think I’m rich.
Uh, but are you? Just making sure that's not the sole foundation of your relationship.
I think he mean that when people see them with their SO they assume OP is rich
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Everyone wants to be her friend, random people always talking to her, constantly dudes trying to buy her drinks if we go into together. I don't mind my wife is hot.
I used to date someone way more attractive than me back in the day, and I could recognize the look from other guys sometimes saying something like "What the f**k is she doing with him".
Not currently, but have in the past. I mean, it’s cool? You gotta get used to a sh**ton of people glancing/staring at them anytime you go out. Also gotta get used to guys trying to hit on them the second you walk away. I never had an issue with either, so it worked for me. The underrated upside is that s**t is self-perpetuating: you immediately become more desirable if you’re with someone who (in this case) other girls realize is beautiful.
That isn't always an upside imo. If women see that your partner is someone very attractive, yes it may make them question why she's with you, but it also may attract the wrong type of woman. Many women who are used to get attention from others frequently, due to their looks, sometimes take this to their advantage, to manipulate and get their way. Those types assume she's with you for money or something superficial and when they find out you may or may not have one or either, they're done giving you any type of attention. I wouldn't want that, personally.
I once dated a guy "out of my league" and the reality is that I was very insecure and felt uncomfortable when we went out to places where there were many pretty girls because I felt that I wasn't enough for him and that he'd look at another girl who was really pretty. In the end that did happen, but my insecurity didn't make me enjoy the relationship. Thank God I am working on that in therapy.
I'm glad you got help, hope you find someone you feel more comfortable with!
Not to be a jerk, but your insecurity may have been the reason he looked elsewhere, not the other "prettier girls". But your insecurity is telling you otherwise.
I'm conventionally attractive, as is my husband. My husband is the first attractive person I've been with, as that's never been a priority for me. I just got lucky with him being perfect in every way. But god its awesome, truly. I can't keep my hands off of him, even 6 years into our relationship.. he's so gorgeous, it amazes me constantly.
"the first attractive person I've been with"? Personally I think there's a world of difference between good looking and attractive. Attraction is a feeling and someone can be highly attractive without being good looking. Or good looking but not attractive. If she's not been attracted to her boyfriends I think she got something wrong.
Yeah I feel like she's missing the point of a relationship if she wasn't attracted to them
Load More Replies...She really sounds like she's trying to convince us that she has this great relationship; more than likely she's trying to convince herself.
We argue over who is more attractive, but I'm convinced it's him. My SO gets called Thor /Chris Hemsworth by kids while walking down the street and in our friend circles. The only weird encounter we had was at a bar. This intoxicated older woman was visibly incredulous that we were together and kept trying to hit on him.
Why bc they argue who's more attractive, each professing the other? That's just relationship banter.
Load More Replies...I don´t get the importance of ranking whatever/10 or something like that. If somebody attracts you (and vice versa) that´s it. Of course there are certain stereotypes, but to each his own. And beauty is so much ore than an outward appearance and has often to do with the actual situation and the cultural and historical context. I can be a 1/10 ( to stress this ranking further) in the morning and a 10/10 in the afternoon without changing my MakeUp. A big smile and a lovely attitude can do so much more to you as a stereotypical face.
It's not a personality ranking or a holistic ranking though. It's purely aesthetics. No harm in it unless it's your sole metric for a relationship. I think of it like who would you pick for for the role of Thor - Chris Hemsworth or Jack Black. Both seem like awesome dudes, but physically?
Load More Replies...My husband is a beef cake with gorgeous baby blue eyes and thick curly hair. He has zero clue how incredibly handsome he is. Thankfully he only has eyes for me and never seems to notice all the girls, women and sometimes men that stare at him while we’re out and about.
I just want to know is it weird that I find German a sexy language my mother says nobut my friends say yes
If you think it is sexy for you, it is sexy for you! Ich wünsche Dir noch einen schönen 1. Mai, Liebe Grüße aus Hamburg ! (German is sexy!!)
Load More Replies...I'm at that age where a lot of married friends have health issues get in the way of their sex lives. When they were young, they were always looking for sex, and getting involved just meant they count on sex with the same person whenever they want. Then one day, they start acting wierd; you say, "hey, we're in town" but you don't hear from them. Then you get the apologies, "Hey, I was in a wierd place... and I found myself overly attracted to your wife... I'd never do anything... I respect you both too much, and my wife, too!... so I just couldn't be around you" It's happened enough that we've kinda gotten blase about it. "That was Phil... he was apologizing for finding me attractive." "Tell him I understand; I do too!"
It's also a little embarrassing that people sometimes presume you're in the relationship for the sex.
Load More Replies...Oh lord, my wife is so many leagues above mine it's not even funny. She is gorgeous always. I'm not even saying that like hyperbole or being dramatic because I'm young and in love. We've been together almost 10 years at this point in total. I'm not naïve, we all have our moments, but even in her worst moments she's just captivating. I could talk about her forever.
My boyfriend is ridiculously attractive (and sweet and loving and funny and brilliant) and I can see girls watching him when we go out places. I don't mind and he absolutely doesn't notice because he's oblivious on a level I didn't know was possible and I'm fairly oblivious myself. And he threatens to beat people up who hit on me!
My husband is hot and gets hotter with age. I find women are annoying about it, seriously just keep it in your pants girls have a little respect for the sisterhood. He has a business so often finds himself trying to deal with the husbands as a way of avoiding the wives.
I guess my BF isn´t like supermodel hot (he is very good looking tho, very tall, wide shoulders, beautiful eyes and smile) but he has this insane charisma...like, people instantly love him...I am a little bit weird and introverted and offten don´t know what to talk about with people I just met, so they often thinks I am just like his little weird friend who he hangs out with, so I don´t feel left out...some people even told him that it is very nice of him....we´ve been "hanging out" together for 12 years now :D
Dated an Abercrombie and Fitch model during their heyday. It was great when we were alone, but no fun dealing with all his attention. It was pretty sweet being the nerd, and having a slam down model pick you up from school. (Age gap was only a year, before you get weirded out.)
I don´t get the importance of ranking whatever/10 or something like that. If somebody attracts you (and vice versa) that´s it. Of course there are certain stereotypes, but to each his own. And beauty is so much ore than an outward appearance and has often to do with the actual situation and the cultural and historical context. I can be a 1/10 ( to stress this ranking further) in the morning and a 10/10 in the afternoon without changing my MakeUp. A big smile and a lovely attitude can do so much more to you as a stereotypical face.
It's not a personality ranking or a holistic ranking though. It's purely aesthetics. No harm in it unless it's your sole metric for a relationship. I think of it like who would you pick for for the role of Thor - Chris Hemsworth or Jack Black. Both seem like awesome dudes, but physically?
Load More Replies...My husband is a beef cake with gorgeous baby blue eyes and thick curly hair. He has zero clue how incredibly handsome he is. Thankfully he only has eyes for me and never seems to notice all the girls, women and sometimes men that stare at him while we’re out and about.
I just want to know is it weird that I find German a sexy language my mother says nobut my friends say yes
If you think it is sexy for you, it is sexy for you! Ich wünsche Dir noch einen schönen 1. Mai, Liebe Grüße aus Hamburg ! (German is sexy!!)
Load More Replies...I'm at that age where a lot of married friends have health issues get in the way of their sex lives. When they were young, they were always looking for sex, and getting involved just meant they count on sex with the same person whenever they want. Then one day, they start acting wierd; you say, "hey, we're in town" but you don't hear from them. Then you get the apologies, "Hey, I was in a wierd place... and I found myself overly attracted to your wife... I'd never do anything... I respect you both too much, and my wife, too!... so I just couldn't be around you" It's happened enough that we've kinda gotten blase about it. "That was Phil... he was apologizing for finding me attractive." "Tell him I understand; I do too!"
It's also a little embarrassing that people sometimes presume you're in the relationship for the sex.
Load More Replies...Oh lord, my wife is so many leagues above mine it's not even funny. She is gorgeous always. I'm not even saying that like hyperbole or being dramatic because I'm young and in love. We've been together almost 10 years at this point in total. I'm not naïve, we all have our moments, but even in her worst moments she's just captivating. I could talk about her forever.
My boyfriend is ridiculously attractive (and sweet and loving and funny and brilliant) and I can see girls watching him when we go out places. I don't mind and he absolutely doesn't notice because he's oblivious on a level I didn't know was possible and I'm fairly oblivious myself. And he threatens to beat people up who hit on me!
My husband is hot and gets hotter with age. I find women are annoying about it, seriously just keep it in your pants girls have a little respect for the sisterhood. He has a business so often finds himself trying to deal with the husbands as a way of avoiding the wives.
I guess my BF isn´t like supermodel hot (he is very good looking tho, very tall, wide shoulders, beautiful eyes and smile) but he has this insane charisma...like, people instantly love him...I am a little bit weird and introverted and offten don´t know what to talk about with people I just met, so they often thinks I am just like his little weird friend who he hangs out with, so I don´t feel left out...some people even told him that it is very nice of him....we´ve been "hanging out" together for 12 years now :D
Dated an Abercrombie and Fitch model during their heyday. It was great when we were alone, but no fun dealing with all his attention. It was pretty sweet being the nerd, and having a slam down model pick you up from school. (Age gap was only a year, before you get weirded out.)
