We all did some horrible things as kids. Some of them were totally intentional because, let's be honest, children can be evil little beings. But more often kids do something awful without even knowing it - blame it on lack of experience, childish ignorance or awkward stupidity. Thankfully it's all in the past now, so let's recall the worst things we unknowingly did as children and have some laughs!

#1

When I was 3, my mum was pushing me in my buggy through Woolworths. As we passed a huge adult-sized teddy bear lying flat on a display, I apparently somehow managed to bite the ear of the teddy as we passed and partially dragged it from the shelf. My Mum stopped and tried to pull it out of my mouth, but I applied lock-jaw.

She tried cajoling and quietly threatening me to release the bear. But I held fast with my little teeth.
She said she decided to wait, thinking I would tire, but 15 minutes later, I was calmly sitting in my pushchair with the bears - by now very wet - ear still safely jammed in my mouth.

Some shoppers and the store manager had gathered and my mortified mum just finally admitted defeat and bought the teddy and managed to walk it home with me still attached. I only unclamped my teeth when we reached home!

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Claire Cover
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LMFAO!! This needs to be higher on the list. Any way I can upvote 300 times?

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#2

When I was about 8 I asked my dad if we could play "the naked man game." My dad, trying not to panic, asked me what it was. I responded "it's the one we play when [the babysitter] is over." He then asked me to show him where the naked man game was, so I took him to the closet, opened the door, and pointed up to Operation.

He told me years later that he nearly had a heart attack.

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Joanna Maynard
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel for your poor dad. I can only imagine how I would have felt if one of my kids had said that to me.

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#3

I was about 7 and made a potato salad for my Grandpa - with raw potatoes, raisins and mayo. He ate every bite and for the rest of his life told everyone I made him the best potato salad he'd ever had. I remembered this when I was about 14 and all I could think was how nasty that must have been and yet he ate every bite because I made it for him......

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#4

When I was about 3 or 4 I thought people were alive in the radio and on the TV. Made sense that the light on the radio helped them see to step up to the mic to sing! My parents thought it was cute and didn't tell me otherwise. I was watching "Green Acres" and Ebb said he was thirsty. I was taught to share, so I dumped my drink down the back of the TV to help him out....BOOM!!! After the TV blew up my parents started correcting me when I lived under false assumptions. On the plus side, we did get our first color TV!

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#5

I was about 6 or 7 and had been watching an old re-run Tarzan movie. Loved how he swung from the trees! So I went up to the bathroom, took a flying leap, gave my best Tarzan yell & grabbed the shower curtain rod. Snap! Crash! Thud! My mom raced up the stairs to find me flat on my back in the tub with 2 piles of plaster surrounding me in a cloud of dust. She said ,"Just wait till your father gets home" and sent me to the time-out chair, Dad came home home. Asked me why I was in the chair. I just cried. Mom said, " Just go to the bathroom". I knew I was doomed. And then... I heard my dad laughing. Really Laughing like I never heard him laugh before. Turns out, that he did the SAME thing when he was a kid when the 1st Tarzan movie came out! So, no yelling, no punishment. Just had to help him sweep up the mess and mix the spackle to put the bar back in & repair the wall.

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#6

When I was about 4 or 5, my family and I were taking the mrt when I saw a couple french kissing on the opposite bench. Immediately, at my loudest voice, I said "EWWWWWW! MOM! THEY'RE DOING BAD THINGS!" I don't know why I grew up thinking PDA is a bad thing and i didn't know this would be embarrasing for the both the couple and my family. The couple was red-faced. My Dad pretended as if he wasn't related to us and every other passenger on the train had a smile on their faces.

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#7

I broke my parents up.

I asked my Mum if I could have dinner at my "Aunt Christie"'s house again because she cooked my favourite pasta. Turns out Mum didn't know who "Aunt Christie" was - which is because she wasn't really my aunt, she was the co-worker my Dad was sleeping with.

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Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nah, it wasn't you the one to break them apart.

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#8

We had two staircases in our house: a front one which was straight and sort of formal and a back staircase which was narrow and curved twice before ending up in the kitchen. My 3-year-old brother had a little rocking chair that he loved, especially if I rocked him in it. I, age 4, had the bright idea that the rocking chair with my little brother in it could slide down the back stairs like a bobsled with a bit of assistance from me! So I talked my brother into sitting in the rocking chair at the top landing of the stairs while I rocked him, inching slowly toward the steps. Finally, with one little push, he was on his way down. The rocker didn't behave like a bobsled as I had imagined, though. It tumbled over and over before landing beside my brother (who had also tumbled over and over) on the kitchen floor! My mother rushed to cuddle my brother as I ran down the stairs, shouting, "I didn't mean it! It was supposed to be fun!" My brother miraculously was not hurt, but I was left sobbing on the kitchen floor while my mother rocked my brother in her arms, crooning,"Poor little Buddy, poor little boy." My brother Bud and I are in our 70s now but will never forget that day.

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Misterscooter
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My best friend's brother is two years older than us. When my friend was about a year old and scooting around in a walker that had wheels, their mom found the older brother at top of the stairs about to push the walker down the stairs. She hadn't realized how jealous the older one was about the baby.

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#9

When I was six I thought fertilizer was dipping dots. I took a scoop full and stuffed it into my mouth. Oops...

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#10

When I was about 3yo we had a little area in our garden to grow some vegetables. We had tomatoes and other stuff (dont remember too clear but tomatoes are for sure). My mom carefully explained, showed me all the stuff and said something like "Its a lot of work but in the end we will have home grown vegetables that will be so healthy!" So... my 3yo mind figured : lots of work? Mommy wont have time to play then! So I took my bucket and ripped off ALL the growing vegetables I could find. Everything. And nothing was ripe yet. You can tell mom wasnt too happy...Well at least the green tomatoes could be put on the window sill to ripe. Everything else had to be tossed... She still reminds me not to pick anything not ripe until today :D

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Tina Howser
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahaha awww, that's so cute and so sad! XD

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#11

When I was 2 ish, we were at a party at my mom's friends house. There were many other little kids there so we were allowed to play wherever we wanted. I was in the fenced-in backyard when I had to go to the bathroom. Apparently, I could not get inside so I found the perfect place to go poop. I took off my little dress, squatted, and took a BIG, wet crunch. It turns out I pooped right below the dining room window. My mom and her friend had been drinking wine when they smelled something horrid and went to look. What they saw was a naked 2-year-old running off with poop on her but and a GIANT poop below the window. We have not been invited back since.

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Hans
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"We have not been invited back since." If people cannot laugh at this, particulartly when drinking wine instead of looking for a toddler, it probably is just good not to be invited again!

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#12

Well it wasn't unknowingly....This girl when I was 5yrs old was a show off always showing off her new toys and fancy dresses. She was my sisters age abc made fun of my sister the most(who was 2yrs older than me). I was playing at the side of the house in the spring and noticed that the drain on the Rd by the side walk was clogged and had about a three foot deep puddle. I got in trouble for getting wet paying in it. So come Monday and we are all walking to school(some reason she had to walk with us) and she starts in on how nice her shoes are and her dress and how my sisters isn't. So I said something along the lines of "we don't wear fancy clothing everyday so we can play, your mom doesn't let you get dirty or play". Of course she said she was allowed to get dirty and that went back and forth for a while until I told her to jump in the puddle to prove it(the three feet deep one but looked like a regular shallow one). So she did and she sunk to up to her waist and ran home crying. Her face 😂 her mother came over after school and I was made to apologize. I was all "sorry I didn't know the puddle was that deep". But they knew, I knew it was. 😂
I don't remember much of her after that, I don't think she was "allowed" to walk to school with us riff raff anymore.

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#13

When my mom was a little girl one of her sisters found the chocolate flavoured laxative and thinking it was a chocolate bar ate the whole package. No one would confess to eating it so my grandmother made them all sit and wait. It was not long before the culprit was revealed.

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#14

I was about 11/12, walking home from school alone. I've done so a lot of times already, but this was the first time I walked alone so late in the evening. halfway home in a dimly lit lonely street, a car stopped by and the driver asked why I'm walking alone. I was a bit non-verbal back then and only shook my head as answer, my way to tell people I'm alright and not in trouble. the man however offered a lift home and I never thought twice to accept it. I rode at the back and pointed where my house is. he didn't take the turns I pointed out many times but he just assured me he just need to get somewhere first to buy something. as he made me wait in the car as he goes into a nearby hardware store, still I didn't think of anything bad will happen. the only reason I decided to get out of the car was bc I thought this is taking too long of a time and I need to get home faster (thankfully I was still around the area I'm familiar with). at home I saw my mom's bloodless face and my dad shaking & crying. he said they drove up and down near my school many times to look for me. they really thought they'd never see me again. I was forbidden any late after school activities for the rest of my school years as result.

to this day, I spent my quiet times thinking what would happen to me if I didn't do what I did. I knew I was just lucky, but I should have not made the mistake.

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#15

My father was watching a game in the tv on the living room, and i was supposed to be studying. I was bored and I was jokingly closing the stapler in my thumb, but i closed harder. Very cool ideia, don't you think? NO. I didn't realize that staple had freaking staples.
Conclusion: with a staple stapled on my thumb i walked to my mother desk. I called: "Mom" very calmly. She looked at me and i told her to take it. By that time, my sister and father had noticed what happened.
My sister held my head to protect me from looking and my mother pulled it. I still saw the blood but it hurt like hell when she pulled it.
Advice: Dont' ever play with a stapler that you don't know if it has staples or nah.

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#16

Okay... When my parents swore they would say, “Parden my French” afterwards. Well I was in Canada at the time where we were starting to learn French. So, the teacher asked if anyone knew French. Well my stupid young self raised my hand and almost yelled all the swears my parents said (It took me about a minute to finish) Let’s just say the teacher wasn’t happy.....

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Banana Chan
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend told me that in French bit sounds like murder...

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#17

I was about three, and had just come back from grocery shopping with my mum, when I decided I was really hungry.
My mum told me she would unpack the groceries and make me some lunch. While she had her back to me I stole a pack of chocolate biscuits and crawled under the spare bed to eat them, I then feel fast asleep.
My mother meanwhile finished unpacking the groceries, turned around an realised the front door was open.
The entire neighbourhood spent two hours combing the streets looking for a missing toddler

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Lilly
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

something similar happened in our neighborhood when i was younger--little girl went 'missing' & we were all out looking for her. hours later, she was found UNDER her bed, sleeping. it's the first place i look when i can't find a kid, lol

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#18

I burned down a good portion of my grandmother's house. I used to pour teaspoons of perfume in a spoon and light it on fire. It made a soft blue flame. I would then hurl it across the room on to the curtains and it would kinda drip burning down them and quickly extinguish. It was really pretty and I was really one bored and lonely kid with a decent curiosity about things. One day when I threw the flame the curtains went up in a big burst of fire instead. I tried to put it out, couldn't, didn't want the butt whipping that would come with telling so I backed out of the room, closed the door and started practicing my piano lesson on the other side of the house until the firetrucks came.

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#19

Do you remember the infamous 70's science book experiment where you can build a rocket with matches and tinfoil? I tried that on my grandparents' garage. It worked well. Very well. Specially when it landed on a pile of cardboard boxes next to a stack of old newspapers and old gasoline bottles and oil cans...

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#20

Not me but as a very young child my sister had a sweater with a furry cat on the front. My dad took her into town shopping with him one day and when she needed the toilet had to take her into the men's public toilets.

There were several other men in there at the time and while they were in the cubicle she asked my dad very loudly if he would like to stroke her pussy! My dad near had a heart attack however he did enjoy telling the story in his speech at her wedding!

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Jackie C.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel for Dad. It's a wonder he wasn't reported to the police.

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#21

I must have been 5 yo when my parents and I went to visit my uncle at his farm. The last thing I remember from that day is my uncle skillfully climbing over the electric fence that separated us from the cattle and telling me "Wait for me right here. Don't follow me"...guess he forgot to tell me "Don't grab the electric fence with your hand and face".

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#22

When I was about 5/6, my brother was about 7, and my other brother was about 9, we went into the garden and we found a blue bag in the shed. For some reason we wanted to get in it and try and bounce on the trampoline whilst in it. We zipped it up and tried to stand up, when I did I fell over, pulling them on top of me. I had fell on the zip and we kept trying to move me out the way because we were getting very claustrophobic. We kept screaming and screaming and my dad ran out with some scissors and said he was going to cut us out so stop moving. This is the reason why me and my brothers cannot go in small spaces for if we do we get a reminder of being stuck in that blue bag for hours and hours with just enough space to breathe. Horrible memory really

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Shruti Naik
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else still here? It's been an hour and I haven't stopped reading

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#23

Earthworms are called 'rainworms' in my native language, because they come out of the ground after it rains. I, about 4 at that time, thought that they actually like water and that's why they hurry to the surface when it starts pouring down. My family was short on money and we didn't have a pool, not even a plastic one. But my mom used to fill a large tub with water for me in the summer. When I came across earthworms while playing, I immediately took them into the tub with me to let them have a fun time at the waterpark. I genuinely believed I was doing them a favour instead of horribly waterbaording them. One day the sun shone especially bright and the tub stood on the concrete floor of our terrace. My mom called me in for lunch and I Ieft the tub. By that time I had discovered that while 'rainworms' obviously liked water, they were pretty pathetic at swimming. And I thought without my assistance, they would surely drown if I left them in the tub by themselves. So I did the reasonable thing and put them on the concrete floor to dry.
And dry they did. More liked baked solid to the floor. I was pretty horrified when I returned. I couldn't even pick them up to give them a proper burial. I felt so guilty, I never took any worms to the tub again.

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Miszpink Lorcsa
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its so nice to listen to these kind of worm stories. I was such a weird kid that i could never touch or even look at them. I m really disgusted. Even tho me with other kids loved to play in the wet sand and we found a lot of them. The other kids knew that im disgusted so they threw them at me D:

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#24

According to my parents, i was a really embarrassing child. Not that I’d throw tantrums or anything, but I’d say stuff at the wrong time to the wrong people. I remember that when I was about 7-8 I was in RE class (religious education) and when the teacher asked if we knew anything about Jesus I boldly cried;”JESUS IS A ZOMBIE” which managed to freak my teacher out (blasphemy) and my class (zombies) and got sent a letter home. Another time, I was at my mum’s friend’s house, who was an atheist. I was sitting there,playing with dolls.. and she asked me if I was having a tea-party (which I never did or will) and I look her dead in the eye, with a straight poker-face and tell her “no, this is jesus’ Last supper. He’s about to die.” And she cracked up laughing. These are the reasons we don’t go to church.

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Isabel Care
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

RE teacher was on a course learning how to give communion (Catholic School). Was told he could have the wine, to which he said " I don't drink" When told it was now the Blood of Christ, he replied "I'm not a vampire either". Catholic mafia not happy.

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#25

When I was about 11 my brother and I came home from school to find that our mom wasn't home and we were locked out of the house. We sat down to wait but I soon realized that I had to go the bathroom and really needed to get into the house. At the time I was into reading historic true-crime and gangster stories and got this bright idea to pick the lock. I found a twig and stuck it into the lock in the doorknob. When I twisted the twig, it broke off deep into the lock where you couldn't see it. At this time my mom returned home with my sister and tried to open the door with her key. Of course the key wouldn't go in. My very elderly neighbor had to come over with his ladder and my very small sister had to climb up and go through an upstairs window to let us in. The whole doorknob had to be replaced and all my mom could say was, "What were you thinking?"

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Caroline Espenschied
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At 7 or 8 I was in the same situation, locked out our house coming home from school with my best friend. I could have waited for my Mom to come home, but my friend began hopping around with her arms around her chest, saying she was about to die from the freezing cold; asking how long we'd have to wait (ok, it was cold, and I had no idea, but she had a history of exaggerating...) Until I couldn't take her hystery any longer, took a broom in the yard and broke the tiny window of the basement so we could go inside. Needless to say, my mom arrived five minutes later. She's still mad at me for this 35 years later, saying I could have waited five minutes more, but at the time I had NO IDEA how much longer it would have taken for her to come home...

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#26

Actually I can't remember the story myself but my family has told it to me so often, that I can easily picture myself doing my misdeed.
Here it goes: We visited my grandparents and my mom had just put me down for my nap, I was around 2-3yo. I must have been not very sleepy because I sneaked out of bed and went to the bathroom, which we children shared with my parents at my grandparents house. My mom has a huge favour for lipsticks and her beautycase stood on the floor, easy for me to reach. That must have been hell of a temptation for a little girl like me. And sure enough I started painting myself. Soon that must have started to bore me, because then I began to paint the whole bathroom in all shades of pink from the floor to about half a meter high. Even in the spaces of the radiator I painted pink lipstick. Needless to say why the story is still livid in my family, especially because up to today you can still find rests of the lipstick in the radiator.

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#27

When I was 4/5 I was in the park and saw a fluffy red and black caterpillar now I had just learned that most fluffy caterpillars are poisonous( I was not aware that the wooly bear caterpillar is not ) and being the good citizen I am did not want anything bad to happen to the poor person who tried to picked it up I decided the rational thing to do was smush it however once I found out it was not poisonous and thought about the fact I had just MURDERED an innocent creature I spent the rest of the day crying still feel guilty but it did make me want to know more about Insects and I am now studying to become an entomologist

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#28

My first pet at age 2 1/2 was "Loveable" the cat. He and I would have adventures and one day we went down to our pantry storage in the basement, and poked open many jars of freshly wax sealed blackberry jelly. It was fun to pop the wax, and then we secretly had ourselves a feast. After we were finished I became worried that Loveable would get cavities from the jelly so, I held him between my legs and brushed his teeth with my Dad's toothbrush. My mother noticed this event and asked me why I used my Dad's tooth brush; my answer was because "I didn't want to get my own toothbrush dirty!" Still have not lived this story down!

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#29

When I was about 2 yo, I woke up in the middle of the night and fell asleep by the toilet. I don't know why. When my parents woke up, they thought I had wondered into the woods with our dog like I sometimes did and had gotten lost. 4 hours later, my dad went to the bathroom and screamed, "I FOUND HER!!!!" We still laugh about it today.

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#30

When I was about 6 and my brother was about 2 he tried to make a "surprise" for me. At first he asked if I could fit my finger into the space between door and a wall and when I did he just... accidentally shut the door. And also broke my finger. Didn't tell to my parents what's the problem with that finger until I got 15 or so because I was afraid they will be angry with my brother.

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#31

We were on a vacation with my mom and brother. I was around 5 or 6 years old. One afternoon we were walking on the beach where some volleyball tournament was happening. I don't remember what was the reason now, but my mom didn't let me to do something and I got soo mad that I told her that I don't want to be with her anymore and I will run away and find some better people to be with (gotta love that child's mind). So brave me ran into the crowd and got lost.
1-2 hours later mom found me sitting on the sand, talking with some foreigners (I didn't even spoke English at the time)... She was so genuinely scared that she didn't even yell at me afterwards :/
Though I did it on purpose, I had no idea how terrible I will make her feel.

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Hans
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great mother actually. Yelling would have been a natural reaction, but have the opposite of the desired effect on a five year old!

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#32

I had a balloon. I wanted to see how slowly the air would leak out if it just had a tiny pin hole in it. My mother was kneeling cleaning the oven, with her head inside. I walked in to the kitchen to show her, just as I stuck the pin into the balloon. Needless to say, that didn't cause a small slow leak.

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Sop Hie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's how I would tell the story too ;p

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#33

When I was around 6 years old, I used to sleepwalk A LOT. Once I was sleeping at my grandmas house, on the second floor. And that second floor door opened straight to stairs down. Guess who decided to sleepwalk out the door, fall down the stairs while sleepwalking? ME. Guess who did not understand what happened, tried to stand up and then realized their leg was broken? ALSO ME. This story was probably the most extreme, but there were also a lot of cases of me standing at the head of my parents bed and crying, with my dark brown loooong hair around my face. Honestly, I am happy my parents didn't watch too many horror movies, so they had nothing to associate my acts with and I wasn't thrown out of my home or something...

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#34

My mother rarely took photos of my brother and I. So when I was 7 years old, I became instantly suspicious when she ordered us to dress well to take photos. Later that day, a car pooled up by our house with a sign saying " driving school". My little genius head thought it read drive to school , making me panic. I thought it was here to take my brother and I away which is why our mother wanted pictures. So I bravely hid behind a wall and threw rocks at it to save my brother and I from this monster car.

Later that day during dinner my brother mentions that his driving instructor's car had a crack on the windshield. My guilty ass says to him that maybe a berry from the tree fell on it. He wanted to argue but my parents seemed contempt with the answer. Til this day no one knows of my heroic acts

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EvieNiffler
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really sorry to be that person but **content with the answer

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#35

When I was around 8-9, I was watching a show with my dad. In the show, an old man, who was at his doctor's appointment all of a sudden asked if he was pregnant, because he was looking quite bloated. Now when I think about it, he was just delusional from the fear of dying or something similar. But my naïve brain not knowing anything, turned around and ask my dad “Hey dad, does that mean you’re pregnant too?” (Heads up – the answer is no)

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#36

When I was 10 I was home alone with my sister and we accidentally set the alarm off. The alarm company called and asked for the password, which I didn't know. So a police officer pulled up in front of our house to check on us. We had security cams, but I could only see the bottom of the car, and naturally, having seen the first 20 minutes of Taken, I thought we were getting robbed. I grabbed a knife and answered the door crying and, uh... concerned the police officer

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Tina Howser
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what a brave kid you were, ready to defend your house and sister!

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#37

When I was about 5 or 6 I asked my mother to teach me to sew. She gave me a needle and thread and said anything of your father's that has a hole in it - you can sew. My father worked construction so there were always rips in his jeans...so my mom left me (which can partially be blamed on her) to make dinner. When she came back I was so proud of the job I did and she started busting out laughing....I had apparently sewed all of the "holes" in my father's underwear.

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#38

When I was about 4 years old I didn't like going to kindergarten. So one one day while we were playing outside in the afternoon I convinced a friend of mine to escape with me. We hid in a large bush until everyone went back inside for a snack and we somehow managed to snuck out the yard without anyone noticing us and then we just went home by ourselfs. The problem is that kindergarten and home were a few blocks away and there was a huge, busy crossroad between them, but we somehow managed to get home safe. Our parents were terified and they actually didn't scold us much. The huge scolding was for the teachers because they haven't even noticed that we were missing until our parents notified them we ran and got home on our own.

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Alex Craig
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My (then) 3 year old daughter and her 4 year old friend did something similar. We had a BBQ with the 4 yeaar olds parents (who were best friends). We left them in the lounge room at the front of the house while we sat in the kitchen (Reminiscing about life before children) and left the 2 kids to watch a kids movie. Fast foward to about an hour and a half later we get a knock on the front door, a man standing there with our children on either side of him. Turns out they had (with the pet rabbit) walked to the shopping centre a few blocks away and were playing in the car park. With none of the 4 adults aware they had even left the house. Both myself and the 4 year olds mother were absolutely mortified as we had no clue.

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#39

When I was three or four, my mom decided to paint my bedroom a nice pale pink. Well, the day she was painting, I was in the middle of everything and getting on her nerves, so she decided to give me an activity to do to keep me off her back. She set me up with paper, a small paintbrush and some fingerpaints and told me to do "splash art", which consisted of simply wetting the paintbrush in different colors and then splashing it onto the paper. What my mother hadn't considered was that the whole, freshly painted, wall right behind me would also end up covered in splash art! Not really my fault because I was so little, and my mom got a frustrated laugh out of it. :-)

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#40

I lived at my grandmother's house, and one time, I have absolutely no idea why I put her house keys in the freezer. Later that day, everyone went bananas looking for the keys, even myself, as I had forgotten that I had put them in the freezer, and they ended up changing the locks. Months later, when the freezer was turned of for cleaning, they found the keys and naturally, questioned me about it.

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Julie Lynn
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm cracking up over here!!! I'm 50 and I did that 5 years ago! My parents and Grandma were visiting my husband and I and for some reason my house/car/office, etc. keys ended up in the freezer. All of us looked high and low. During their entire vacation with us, we continued to look. Finally, after they left and I had to go back to work and have a new key made to my office. Luckily my husband had keys to our house and my car, so only copies were needed there. 2 months later, while digging for chicken in the freezer, low and behold what was stuck to the bottom of the chicken? MY KEYS!! To this day we laugh about it!! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Wellllllll, maybe the only 45 year old.... but still, I liked your story :) :)

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#41

When I was around 10, I loved playing in a “cave“ between a wall and a row of conifers in a neighbors' garden.
One day I got the amazing idea that I could take a candle with me, because candlelight is so cozy and it was getting dark. It fell over on a pile of dry needles, and woosh... a little dry fir burst in flames and only seconds later three conifers were burning. I ran away completely in shock, and the fire fighters had to prevent the fire from spreading through the garden in the densely built-up area...

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#42

I was not so young, maybe about twelve years, I was alone in the afternoon, in my country it's quite usual, I do not know why I lit a candle in my room, and I went to do things, after a while I go back, I open the door and I had a giant flame, the candle had fallen and the wooden floor was burning in one place, quickly spilling water, and managed to extinguish the fire. I spent a good part of the afternoon cleaning the soot of all the things in the room, and I covered the burned by changing the furniture of the place, nobody at home knew it.

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#43

I was about 9 or 10 years old and went "back to school shopping" with my mom at Walmart. By the time we got to the cash register, the shopping cart was so full it was almost overflowing. When it was time to pay, mom handed her credit card. I took a look at it and asked her "Mom? You never told me you changed your name to Celine Barette?" Of course, my mom almost died right there from embarassement, as the cashier and clients all looked at her in disbelief. She somehow was able to convince the cashier that it was just a bad joke and that I would get grounded for it. But that's not all... Finding myself pretty funny, I then put my hand in my jacket's pocket and mimicking a gun, I looked at the cashier and said "Lady, put all your cash in a bag and hand it over. Don't make a scene or I'll shoot". What I did not expect was that the cashier stopped moving and started crying. Suddenly feeling bad, I said "Hey! It was just a joke!" She then told us that her husband, who was a Brink's employee, had been shot and killed in a holdup a few months prior. Finally, mom never had to ground me for all of this. The lesson had been taught and stays with me to this day...

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Lilly
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so your mom was using a stolen credit card, or were you just being a bratty kid (oops!)? the fake hold-up thing wasn't funny--not when you've had 2 family members go through it...

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#44

When I was a kid me and my mom had made my Dad a two layer orange creamsicle flavor birthday cake. I was so proud of it that I didn't want my Dad to see I until it was time to eat it. The thought to hide it did not occur to me till he was walking in the door from work, so I grabbed it off the counter and ran away to hide it somewhere. It was under one of those round plastic domes shaped like a cylinder. Well...that cake started to slowly spill out of the cylinder as my eight year old self toted it around the house. I only realized it when I was halfway to the TV room and saw cake on my shirt. My poor brokenhearted self took it to the bathroom (on the other side of the house)...where I tried to fix it. Meanwhile, my Dad was following a giant trail of cake crumbs in a circle laughing hysterically. He found me in the bathroom crying hysterically. My grandparents (his parents) and my Mom were very.upset but he picked me up and gave me a big kiss and said he loved it anyway and we ate the destroyed cake together. We still talk about it from time to time.

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#45

When I was about 8y/o, it was a very hot North Texas summer. I was playing outside as we did in those days without the distractions of tv, etc. I was naturally hot, so I wrapped by self with a soaker hose, with the holes towards me to cool off. I turned the water on and the hose became a virtual boa constrictor. As it was squeezing the life out of me, I cried out with what could have been my last breath. Luckily my father heard me, and I was rescued.

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#46

So this happened when I was about 2-3 years old. We lived on a small touristy type island. My mom was at work and my grandmother was babysitting me and my older sister. Everyone always kept their doors open since the weather was good year round. Anyway I had apparently decided to pay my mom a visit at her job without telling my grandma. A couple of tourist ended up spotting a two year old (me) walking by herself all the way down to the pier where my mom worked (about half a mile from our home). They didn't want to scare me so they just followed me to make sure I wouldn't get ran over by the golf carts. I ended up walking into my mom’s job like a boss! The tourist saw that I walked straight up to my mom and my mom picked me up all confused as to where my grandmother was. They carefully explained that they had followed me all the way here because I was all alone. They got a good laugh out of it, my mom had a mini heart attack and my poor grandma had a panic attack after she found out I was missing! (P.S my grandma was not a bad sitter I was just a very curious child)

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Miztre
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Glad it all ended well!

#47

When I was 6 I went to a birthday party with a clown. The clown told us a “secret”, he said that he still wore nappies and that he trusts us and so we mustn’t tell anyone. When I got home I told my Mum I had a secret the clown told me and I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I really believed him when he said he wore nappies and was embarrassed and didn’t want to betray his trust so I refused to tell her...until she started crying and begging me to tell her. I didn’t understand why she reacted like that until I was a little bit older and the relief on her face finally made sense!

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Otaku Animelover
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A nappie is a diaper just for those who don’t know (i looked it up)

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#48

When my cousin and I were 5-6, we got hooked on this amazing hot chocolate at this hotel. The hotel had a bar in the middle of the pool, so you can drink it while you’re sitting in the water, which made it even cooler. Our parents told us we couldn’t have more, so we went to a random couple and asked them to buy us the hot chocolate.

They did. And they babysat us until our parents found us, a few hours later. We didn’t say anything about the hot chocolate since we didn’t want to get in trouble, so the couple never got paid back.

Looking back, I think they were probably some honeymooning couple and we forced them to babysit a two bratty kids.

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#49

Up until I was around 6 or 7, whenever my family and I were heading out of a restaurant, and I noticed that my parents were forgetting cash on the table, I would always make sure to grab it and slip it back into my mom's purse. I didn't know tipping was a thing, and it's not until I made a comment about how they were always leaving money lying around at restaurants, and how I always had to be the one to keep an eye out for it and make sure they didn't forget it, that they realized what was going on, and I learned. I cost a lot of waiters their tips.

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#50

When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to see how a staple curled when hitting paper. Except I used the side of my finger. Obviously, it didn't curl.

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#51

So, I was around 6 and having a lovely dream with me, swinging in a hammock in a breezy summer afternoon. Suddenly, I gave the tree a very strong push and I fell from the hammock with a yell. I woke up at the end of my bed and screamed, feeling I was about to fall. I did. With a tremendous crash I hit the floor. My mom nearly broke her toe at the edge of her bed, for she attempted a wild run to rescue me from whatever I was yelling for. She herself yelled a lot after that.

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Misterscooter
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got a bunk bed when I was about 6. I didn't have to share it so I could choose if I wanted to sleep on top or the bottom. Early on, when I was on top, my parents heard a crash shortly after I had gone to bed. This was before we carpeted my room and my parents found me on the floor, crying and explaining what had happened. Apparently, I had been dreaming I was a pilot and I had climbed on the railing of the bed. When the plane crashed, so did I. Unfortunately, my grandmother was staying over at our house that night and she was pretty freaked out by my fall.

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#52

Put a worm in the freezer thinking I could freeze it and bring it back to life later. Unfortunately before the theory could be tested, my mother found it and I learnt a different lesson that day..

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Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dang didn't read that properly. Though I'm sure I claimed it was an accident after I saw the look on her face. ><

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#53

I was probably 12 or 13 and I was mad at my dad for something. I was talking to my best friend about it and I told her that I wished I only had to see him every other weekend like she did with her dad. My grandmother overheard me and told my parents and my mother told me how much I hurt my dad's feelings. At that time it didn't matter that much; after all, he had hurt my feelings as well.

Luckily, after that, I had many great years with my dad before he passed away 4 days before my 42nd birthday. Even so, I still feel guilty about saying that and wish I could take it back and tell him I didn't mean it.

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Alia Gail
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sure he knew it wasn’t your intention. He may have been offended, but he would have known you loved him despite your arguments

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#54

When I was 6, my parents took me along to visit some people I didn't know well. I went to the bathroom and discovered there was no toilet paper. I even checked the cabinets, but found none. In desperation, I took the hand towel down and wiped myself. My parents taught me to always put things back where I found them, so, when I was finished, I neatly hung the hand towel back up where I found it. It didn't occur to me at the time to tell anybody anything about it. To this day, I am too paranoid to use a hand towel in anybody else's house.

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Veronica Niechajczyk
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of people don't make sure that there's TP when inviting people over?

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#55

...Tore off the side mirror of our neighbor's car. I was fascinated with the mirror and how you can rotate it. I tried to place it in a weird angle and tore off the entire thing.

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#56

I was 5-years-old and we lived in a triple decker that had 6 apartments; three on each side. We were poor as dirt, welfare kids with a single mom and a father who was best left roaming the bars.

The man on the third floor directly above our home had purchased a brand new Lincoln Continental, high gloss paint, bowling ball black.

5-year-old me was often left to my own devices outside playing and watching over my younger brother. All of us kids played like that back in the day.

The point? Whelp, I had taught myself to write my full name and address. I got a lot of praise for that from my mom, which wasn't usual. I took a rock and carved my name and address into the man upstair's brand new car. Oh yes I did.

LORD HAVE MERCY - he came out to see my handiwork just as my mother was coming out to call me inside. The neighbors knew we had it rough, they could see the bruises on me; back then it was a family matter and no one really called authorities. I was up the street and my mother was screaming my name. I came home and could tell by the look on her face I was in major trouble. I had no idea why. She asked me if I had wrote my name on the neighbor's car, I bold-faced said, "No, I didn't do it." The gentleman couldn't help but laugh in spite of the damage because it was OBVIOUS I had done it. I mean, my full name and complete address was carved into his new car's gleaming paint. My mom ripped me by the hair of my head and started beating my ass right there and telling me I was really going to get it once she called my father. I must have looked terrified, and as I said, the neighbors knew what went on in our apartment. The poor guy told her that wasn't necessary, he wasn't mad and that I was just a little girl. Insurance would cover it.

Ohhh man, when my father got home? Let's just say I no longer wrote my name and address on anything but a piece of paper after that.

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Alia G.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

dear lord... i’m sorry you had to go through that! i freak out if anyone even looks at me disappointedly...

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#57

When I was young I loved to collect snails after a rain. They would cover our front porch and get in front of the doorway. Sometimes they would accidentally get stepped on and that made me sad. So I would "save" them. I'd put them all in a bug bucket with a lid and set it beside a tree so they couldn't get squished. Young me didn't think about what would happen if the sun came out and beamed down on that bucket for an extended period of time. I earned the nickname "The Snail Killer" from my parents.

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#58

Once when me and my sister (who is a 15 months older than me) were at least 4, we took pink crayon and drew all over my dads Desert Storm helmet from when he was in the war. My mom found it and she had to take green crayon and cover it. My dad never found out until two years later.

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#59

In Chinese, the phrase we use for "picking strawberries" sounds similar to the phrase for "stepping on strawberries". We headed to strawberry fields and my mom told us we were going to start picking them... I grabbed a handful of berries and began smashing them under my feet. Needless to say, parents were shocked.

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#60

this one is from my Fiance. She was hungry, (about 4) wanted Mc donalds. her parents gave her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and sat her down in front of the TV. she didnt want the sandwich, so she put it into the VCR on top of the TV. She then went to tell them she ate it all and was still hungry and wanted mc donalds. well they went to get her mc donalds and cue a few days later to find a old peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the VCR.

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#61

When I was about 7 or 8, my cousins got stuck about 2 hours out of my town (and about 6 hours from theirs) thanks to a tornado. At the time there were two daughters, one about my age, who (as did I) enjoyed cosmetics. Like nail polish.

My parents did the nice thing and went to retrieve them. The family car could not fit seven people, so they rented a mini-van. This mini-van was brand new to the rental dealership. As in, had about 18 miles on it when we rented it, and it was in mint condition. Please note that the use of the past tense is not because this story happened over 20 years ago.

While packing to go retrieve my cousins and aunt and uncle, I had the wonderful idea that I could spend the long drive to deliver them home discussing cosmetics with my cousin, so I packed my pillowcase (because I routinely used my 101 Dalmatians Lucky pillowcase as a rucksack) with a variety of such things, including a bottle of bright blue, metallic-shimmer nail polish. There was, of course, no need to involve a parent in my plans. Thus begins our story.

It was all fine until the Wyoming-Nebraska border on I-80, when I started to detect a faint aroma of nail polish emanating from my pillowcase. Now, you know that even when a bottle of nail polish is closed, sometimes it can still give off a faint odor of nail polish if some got on the bottle the last time you used it. The female occupant of the front seat remarked upon the scent, and I dismissed her fears, not wanting a lecture about how if I did my nails in a contained space with my cousin it would give her a headache or something. I assumed that the closed bottle just smelled like nail polish, after all. I assumed wrongly.

Another half hour passed by, when I finally examined said pillowcase (I believe I was in fact using it as an actual pillow).To my horror, half of the pillowcase, my childhood blankie (don't judge me; I still used it in the car), several toys and stuffed animals, and other sundry goods had been coated in the nail polish. In addition, my seatbelt, the seat, and by the time I had waved it around in horror, the seatback in front of me was also be-nailpolished. I panicked.

Using my travel-cup of water, I attempted to remove it. No dice. I used my saliva. I used some juice. Nothing worked. I was in full FEMA crisis mode. By this time, my mother said that there was some kind of engine fluid leak. I felt morally bound at this to report the situation to the authorities.

I won't forget stopping at a podunk gas station in Sidney, Nebraska, trying to find anything that might assist in removing the nail polish. I specifically remember a toothbrush being involved, but it wasn't like it sold acetone. The blanket and pillowcase (my only concerns, to be frank) were a lost cause; I think mom was able to get almost 80% of the polish off the mini-van's upholstery.

The affair of the nail polish delayed our retrieval of the tornado-stranded family by about an hour. The smell remained with the formerly pristine mini-van for the rest of the week that we had it (I don't remember why we had it more than a day or two -- maybe they extended the lease to try to remove the evidence of my crimes. Most of the nail polish disappeared once my mother had procured acetone, but I don't think that the smell ever would have dissipated.

So that's the story of how I, while attempting to lighten the heart of my cousin with post-tornado chauffeured manicures, ruined a brand-new mini-van. RIP van.

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#62

I was a stupid little kid who found a caterpillar. I held it up and ran around my preschool showing it to everyone, and this other kid wanted to see it. He grabbed it, I screamed: “NO, YOU’LL PROBABLY JUST HURT IT!” He pulled. I pulled. RIP caterpillar.

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Anjo
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG!! i did this with a worm :( RIP worm/RIP caterpillar

#63

When I was 3, my mom started the car to get it warmed up and left my brother (10) and I in it while she ran back inside to get something. She hadn't buckled me in to my car seat yet, and I was sitting in the middle of the bench seat in the front. She had given us explicit instructions not to touch anything. I, however, touched the gear shift and managed to get the car in reverse. My brother actually managed to jump out (without me) and the car made it across the busy county highway we lived on. Thankfully the car wasn't hit, and thankfully it got stuck in a ditch before I made it too far, because on the other side of the road was a small corn field and a river.
She was grateful I was safe, but not so grateful about having to get her Cadillac towed out of a ditch.

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Shari H
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister did something similar. She was 10, my brother was 8, and I was a new driver at 16. Mom asked me to drive the kids to their dental appointment. As we were backing out of the drive I realized I forgot the check for the dentist, so I left them in the car to run back in for it. My sister, being the helpful girl she is, decided to put the car in reverse for me so we'd be ready to go when I got back in. She thought that as long as she didn't touch the accelerator the car would not move. She panicked when the car started moving and froze, so my brother climbed into the front seat, but couldn't reach the pedals. He put the car in neutral and let it coast. I came out to witness my brother in the driver's seat and the car coasting into the road. Thankfully we lived on a dead end back road, so no traffic. I ran out to the car and started to scold him for trying to drive, but my sister immediately confessed and she was so upset I couldn't be mad.

#64

When I was about 10 I asked my friend if her parents were still together, and she seemed confused. I went on to explain: Well, I always see either your mom or dad, but I never see them together. 5 years later, I asked her again because she never answered me the first time. She revealed that she thought I asked her if her pants were still together.

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#65

When I was around 9, I thought of the sweetest anniversary surprise ever for my parents: My Mum no longer wore her engagement ring as it had a stone missing. So I sneaked it from her jewellery box and sold it to a kid down the street for a few pounds and then bought her a new - fully intact - ring from the second hand stall on the market.

On the day I gave her it, I also presented my Dad with his beloved silver tea service which had tarnished - and which I had lovingly brought back to a beautiful silver shine using Brillo pads.

My mum got her ring back, but there was no rescuing that tea service!

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Faith Stroup
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not british so I had to google "tea service" and dang...those are expensive >.<

#66

When I was about 7 or 8 I liked the taste of food coloring. I have a sister 5 years younger than me. I stole a box of food coloring from the kitchen and hid it under my bed. My sister went quiet and we didn't see her for about 30 minutes. My mom and I went looking for her and she found my food coloring. She had dyed herself black, purple, and blue. She was stained for about 3 weeks..

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#67

My girl cousin and I were 3 and 4 when we found that can of house paint in the garage. This was 1956 so of course it was oil-based and it wasn't tightly sealed.
After we opened it and stirred it with a couple of sticks, we had only to decide what in the garage needed a nice coat of paint.
Well, sitting right there was the family's 1953 Chevrolet BelAir just crying out for a green touch-up.
For some reason we decided that it was the chrome that needed color and using the branches we'd used to stir it we very carefully applied the paint on just those parts.
It was probably the quiet that attracted the adults' attention and we were soon discovered but not before we had pretty well covered the grill and bumper.
(later on, our parents would comment on how well we had managed to keep to the chrome).
My Irish uncle, it was decided, would mete out our punishment. After vigorously cleaning our skin with turpentine he marched us into the house, taking off his belt as he sent us to our rooms.
He took care of my cousin first, going into her room and closing the door. Soon the sounds of her cries rang through the halls.
Next he came to the bedroom I shared with my sister and after closing the door, said, "I want you to howl." And then proceeded to whip the hell out of my pillow.
Relieved but still intimidated, I complied. But my 4 year-old acting skills were apparently lacking and after a moment he paused, grabbed a bit of flesh on my upper arm and pinched me hard.
This instantly brought tears to my eyes, which, when we then exited, added a convincing touch to our 'punishment.'
Years later, the half-sister who had raised him came from Ulster for a visit and we all heard quite a few stories of _his_ youthful mischief.
So many things that by comparison, made our 'artistic' efforts seem pitifully inconsequential but certainly explained his leniency.

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#68

When I was 3yo I kept throwing things in the toilet. So my mum thought of a trick - she told me that everything I throw in there ends up in the sea, and that next summer we won't go to the sea side because it will be all dirty. Naturally I stopped. But, only a few days later EPIPHANY struck:
My dad had a tank with beautiful fish. I've always thought those fish were sad for being held in our tank. I scooped them up one by one and threw them in the toilet, all 20+ of them, poured ALL their food in there too, and flushed while waving "byebye".

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#69

My brother and I had the whole of Olay's stock recalled from Supermarkets across the country after a prank we played on my mum when we were 6 and 8.

He had been given some itching powder as a joke gift, we added to her face cream and waited to see what would happen. When she used it she immediately called the store as it felt like there was glass in the lotion. Half an hour later the emergency anouncement is sent to all stores to recall the product across the country, at which point my brother and I ask my mum if she liked her face cream that morning. We both had to write grovelling apology letters to the head office- lesson learned!

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#70

I swallowed a quarter when I was 3 and had to go to the hospital

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Daniel Eastridge
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats funny. Not you going to the hospital but you swallowing the quarter is funny

#71

I was a super sensitive and anxious kid. One time I was walking in public with my grandmother when she noticed I was crying and asked me what was wrong. Through the tears I said, "That man touched me!" She looked behind us and saw the guy walking away, so she grabbed my hand and in full Grandma-Rage-Mode started stomping towards him... meanwhile asking me, "Where did he touch you? You show me what he did!"

Sniffling and weepy, I said, "Like this..." and I go * pat pat * on my own head.

She gave me a spankin' right there and then for almost causing her death by cardiac arrest.

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Inaya K
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well... that guy still did NOT have her permission for that pat pat.

#72

I used to spend several weeks out of every summer staying with my aunt and uncle. I got to play with my cousin, and presumably my single father got to take a break. One year, on the day I was due to come home, I called and asked permission to stay another week, and he agreed. After I went home, a family friend told me they had been at my house the week before...for my surprise welcome home party. Dad bought a cake, decorated, and bbq'd. This was a man who did not entertain or demonstrate affection. True to character, he never told me about the party he attempted.

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#73

Wow, just brought back memories. As a 4 1/2 year old, I was playing with the six year old boy on his porch three doors down. He suggested playing tic-tac-toe, but we didn't have any paper.

He says "I got it!" and runs into the house, then comes back with eraseable pens and starts drawing a grid on the cement porch. We play a game, but then the marks just smear when we go to erase them, so we just move and start over. We must have played 15-16 rounds with the "pens", which turns out were just shoe polish bottles with easy to apply applicators, which I'd never seen before since my Dad used the paste type.

Went back home, two hours later my parents get a knock on the door, are told by the neighbor I had come up with the idea and I had told their son to go get shoe polish to play. My parents call me to the door and ask me in front of the other parent if I had played with shoe polish on Bobby's porch. "No mom, there was no shoe polish. Bobby said he had some eraseable pens we could use." Other parent, light bulb going on, says "Well, Bobby has got some lying to atone for, too, but y'all gotta clean the porch together."

Hardest work that 4 1/2 year old me had done to date. 30 minutes to play, 2 hours to clean, and not very well. The whole time angry at Bobby for lying to me, then angry at his Mom for saying I couldn't play with Bobby any more 'cause "He doesn't make good choices when I'm around."

I was happy when his family moved, but missed playing with him. That was a long time ago. Fortunately, I've clearly gotten over it.

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#74

I don't know if it's the worst but I ruined my parents romantic anniversary.

I was around 7 and I woke up in the middle of the night because my stomach didn't feel well. So I went upstairs to tell my parents.

When I opened their door I remember there were candles, music playing and when my mom saw me she immediately pulled a blanket around herself.

She asked my what I was doing up and before I could even finish my sentence I projectile vomited all over everything.

PM_ME_TINY_DINOSAURS Report

#75

As a young little shithead my favorite prank was to lock bathroom stall doors and then crawl underneath them and exit the scene. One time, my parents dragged me to Costco with them. I went to the biggest stall in the back of the bathroom, locked that shit and scampered away with a grin. I ended up going back to the same Costco the next day because my parents had to return something. I went to the same stall and it was still locked, this time I actually had to take a shit. I crawled under the door only come face to face with an old guy looking at me like I was from another planet. I recoiled away so hard that I smacked my head on the bottom of the door and ran from that bathroom like I'd never run in my life. I crack myself up whenever I try to imagine what that guy was thinking when a 9 year old tried to hijack his toilet.

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#76

Hello from southern Ontario! I remember one time my family was crossing the border into the States and we had garbage left over from the food we picked up on the drive there. My little sister noticed there was a big piece of lettuce on the floor as we were next in line for the border crossing. She immediately freaks out since our parents taught us about what we couldn't bring across the border, which includes produce. I was only 9 or 10 myself so I was panicking too, and I think the both of us were just screaming, "THE LETTUCE!"

My parents obviously have no idea what's happening as we drive up to the border agent. My dad couldn't even say a word to this guy because my sister and I were scream-crying in the background. And she was aggressively smacking me with the lettuce because I wouldn't hide it in my coat pocket. Border agent dude looked super annoyed and let us through in about ten seconds flat.

You're welcome Mom & Dad.

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MADELEINE KIMBALL
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMGOSH i seriously just busted out laughing! "THE LETTUCE!" HAAHHAHAHA

#77

My mom has/had severe depression, and I wrote her a poem for mother's day when I was 8 that had lines like "I love you even though you cry all the time." I was really proud because I thought it really showed how much I care and I read it aloud to her. I didn't get the reaction I was expecting.

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#78

I had a lot of medical issues as a child, and so we had a massive drawer full of my prescription meds. When I was nine years old, a friend from school came over to my house... we played for a while before she told me that she had a stomachache. I, knowing just how to help, gave her some of my medicine for a similar issue.

She got pretty sick, and I got a really long lecture about how we do not give our medications to other people.

I still feel bad about that one.

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#79

My sister was two, and she saw a mixed race family, a white mum and a black dad, and their kid. She'd just learned about mixing colours so she yelled "WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GREY BABY."

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#80

Once when I was about 4, I sprayed a man driving by my house on his motorcycle with a water hose. I have no idea why I did it, I just remember that I was playing with the hose and he kept riding by over and over and I just had an impulse and went with it. He didn't come by again after that, obviously.

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Faith Stroup
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I once threw a chicken nugget at a dude driving buy on a moped...no idea why :/

#81

I was at a birthday party, age 7, and there was this orange air freshener that smelled sooo so good, so I sprayed it all over myself, and then I smelled really good, so all the kids started spraying it on themselves. Not 20 minutes later, all of us are crying and screaming because our skin is burning and turning red. There was something very irritating in the air freshener.

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#82

I got a really bad burn on my arm while my dad was taking tea out of the microwave. I thought it would be really funny to slam the door on him while he was grabbing it. The result was a huge, and bad burn on my arm.

Cut to a while later, my arm was almost healed. But you could still see the burn in spots. I hit my head on a table and cut it open. My mom brings me to the hospital to get stitches. Right when they are done stitching my head, I say have this conversation with the doctor.

Me: Oh! My other owie is almost gone!

Doctor: What other owie?

Me: From when my daddy poured hot tea on me.

That resulted in a very awkward conversation between my mother and the doctor. And the doctor almost calling CPS.

MomISwearIDontSmoke Report

#83

I told all of my friends I wanted to be a prostitute when I grew up.
Prosecutor. The word is prosecutor.

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a little girl, I was riding in a car with my grand mother. She saw a friend of my aunt and stopped to talk to her. After we drove off, my grand mother remarked "I don't see why Gail (my aunt, her daughter) hangs around with her, she looks so cheap". I was just a little girl, and I thought the girl was pretty. I proudly announced "When I grow up I want to look cheap, too" I didn't understand why the grownups were laughing.

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#84

The worst one was taking my mothers "personal massager" to school for show and tell as i was a fairly literal child and thats what it said on the packaging, it wasn't obviously a marital aide as it was one of the more "bullet" options. However my at the time FEMALE teacher knew exactly what that was and took it away from me and called my mother to let her know as delicately as possible what I had taken to school.

It wasn't until I was much older that I realized what I had done! my mother gets a good laugh out of that one though for sure!

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Kiss Army
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember my dad had this statue thing that looked like a bum/hobo and had the caption "Dirty Old Men Need Love Too!" - I can still remember my teacher's face when I passed that around at show and tell. (I just thought it was cute and appreciated the message that people who need a bath are still lovable - it makes me cringe now... lol...)

#85

One night when i was 6 I was digging around in the kitchen why? I have no idea but i remember finding these red chilis you know the red dried kind you use for tamales? Well I was playing with them and i was getting sleepy. so what does sleepy me do? I rub my eyes. RUB MY EYES! my eyes were on fire. we lived in remote alaska so our trailer had no running water. so I grabbed babywipes, yes babywipes and i start rubbing my eyes with a baby wipe. then my little brain reminds me THERES SOAP IN BABYWIPES! needless to say I cried myself to sleep.

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#86

Just chatting with a school friend, she said something cheeky, I gave her a playful shove. She was standing at the top of a flight of concrete steps. She fell down them and broke her arm.

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Alia Gail
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

eep... as i said, nothing worse than accidentally hurting someone

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#87

When I was about 5 my dad brought home a puppy. We lived in a third floor apartment that had the big roof to play on that was the ceiling to the second floor. When the dog pooped, I was supposed to clean it up. With space between our building and the one next door, I figured I'd sweep it into that space only to have it land on the windowsill of the neighbor downstairs. Our neighbor was really mad when she saw it and we had to rehome my puppy. I was so sad but learned a good lesson - when mom says clean it up she doesn't mean put it somewhere else!

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Jordy Star
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You could tell the story was going to be bad when they said the first two sentences.

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#88

Okay, so I was about five years old and my older sister and I were jumping on the bed. Well, she kept knocking into me and I said, "Stop it!" She said, "No, this is MY bed you stop it."
Anyway, we kept jumping and she knocked into me then I bumped my hip against hers, and I didn't realize how close to the edge of the bed we were and she fell off, hit her head on the TV stand, and started bleeding.
I started bawling and apologizing to her and my mother came in and took her to the hospital. That night I couldn't sleep, but somehow I did, and the next morning she had three stitches in her head, oops.

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Alia Gail
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing is worse than accidentally hurting someone else. I still have nightmares about just bumping into people....

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#89

When I was six or seven my grandparents had those huge caterpillars in their jard. They were a lot bigger than my tiny palm. My sister and I were really fascinated by them. Till my clumsy ass actually sat on one, because I wasn't paying attention enough. There was so much green slim in them and it was all over my skirt. I am still so sorry for that.

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#90

When I was 14 I went on vacation with my best friend and her mom. We were staying at a camp ground on Myrtle Beach. One day my friend and I were hanging out with a bunch of other kids on the 2nd floor of the campground meeting center when we all decided to head to the beach. I slipped and fell down the flight of stairs on my butt and yelled "oh God" as I was falling. When I got to the bottom I realized there was a Sunday church service going on. No one said anything to me and the room was completely silent. Still one of my cringe worthy moments.

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I❤️My cat
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same thing happened with me only slightly different, I was at a Christian youth camp (there to make friends it’s a tiny bit boring) and I fell and started bleeding. It was my first day there so I hadn’t gotten used to not saying god or Jesus Christ or ect.... so I shouted “FOR HEAVENS SAKE THAT BLOODY WELL HURT GOD SAVE ME” yeahhhh not my proudest moment.....

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#91

when i was 4 years old, i was playing with a pipe cleaner. Near a electrical outlet. I was acting like the pipe cleaner was a key and the outlet was the door. i did not know and shocked the heck out of myself. Lesson Learned. i still have the scar to this day.

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#92

When me and my brother were kids sharing a room we used to get up to all kinds of mischief, one day me and my brother were looking at our aunt and parents down stairs out the back of our block of flats and were planning on squirting water from an old fairy washing up liquid bottle down on them.

However as only one of the windows opened wide enough to peer out of (yes we leaned out an unsecure window 3 stories up - because kids and we were idiots.) so we had a bit of a ruckus.

Being the genius that I was at that age I knew it was obviously dangerous to try and push and shove each other incase we fell out of the window. So I shoved my brother backwards off the window ledge, where he turned, and, do you remember those wires that hang of hooks? to suspend the old lace curtains?

Well my brother got that wire lodged under his jaw line and was basically hung for a few moments as I in my utter panic decided to try and yank him down, by adding my weight to his, pulling the hooks out.

So down we come, net curtains, wire, me and my brother who was a bright pink in the face, livid and with a chafed neck that would give the tightest of underwear on the largest of weight watchers after a 20 mile jog in the summer a good run for its money.

Needless to say he proceeded to beat the crud outa me, we both lied to my parents and claimed our sister had lassoed him, and ate ice-cream watching pokemon as our sister had a timeout.

TLDR - Accidentally hung my brother and while freeing him managed to chafe his neck and jaw bad enough to make him bleed.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think for most of us it's kind of a miracle that we survived our childhood.

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#93

When I was about 2 or 3 my mom took me to the beach and I really had to pee. Mom said go pee in the lake. So being a small child I hiked up to the lake and pulled down my bathing suit bottoms and screamed "AHHHHH THAT FEELS SOO GOOOOD"

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Veronica Niechajczyk
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That reminds me of when my daughter was probably around 4, I took her and her twin brother to a local beach and she of course had to pee. So I told her to go pee in the water, which she apparently interpreted to mean to go squat at the EDGE of the water, squat down, and pee. Yeah...

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#94

When I was about 8 years old, my 6 year old cousin came to visit for Easter. We spent the day running in and out of the house and my dad was constantly telling me to close the sliding door. When it was time to come in for dinner, my dad asked me to call my cousin in from the backyard. I ran to the door, didn't see anyone, so I hollered, "DINNER TIME!" I waited a moment until my dog ran inside and then conscientious me quickly closed the glass sliding door and followed. As I rounded the corner, behind me I heard a huge *BANG* as my cousin, running full speed, slammed into glass.

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#95

It’s not a big thing but a friend and I played bandits at school. We wrapped our jumpers around our heads as disguises. We saw a group of girls playing on some steps, one girl was holding a bag of crisps. We ran through the girls, I grabbed the crisps, threw them on the ground, jumped on them, then we ran off. I remember being scared for days we’d be caught - we weren’t. As an adult I realise what a horrible thing this was to do and still feel shame when I remember it.

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#96

When I was around a year old, i was walking around next to our “dirty” kitchen (in my house we have 2 kitchens the clean one and the one next to our garage(dk)). my baby sitter was preparing my food in the “dirty kitchen” when I started to eat something brown. The name of the kitchen came with a reason: we had some mice around and had set up lots of traps. My babysitter checked on me while i was “examining” the poo. Needless to say, I puked in the end.

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#97

I was about 12-13 when this happened. I was sitting on a latin lesson at school, and for some reason I had the brilliant idea to draw smily faces on the wall. I left the classroom as soon as possible and next period the teacher told us that someone vandalised the wall with smilies. She said whoever did it must volunteer and they will be punished or the whole class will suffer. And me being me, I didn't tell. Weeks passed and I am having a casual chat with my teacher, when somehow this topic comes up. She says the punishment is that class camp canceled. Being the weird kid I was, I was bullied by everyone in class, and all I ever did was sit at my desk doodling and
interacting with my Medic poster. I didn't have much friends, and I never was really part of the team. So I wouldn't have gone to class camp even if i could've. Everyone else however, were dying to go. They all were so disappointed and sad when they couldn't go. Nobody found out it was me, and I only told my best friend about it.

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Jennifer Gohm
Community Member
4 years ago

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Wow, were all taught right or wrong from an early age. But, to not fess up and except the consequences of your actions made you a nasty pre-teen! Something really wrong with a child when they take great glee in retarding others and causing others sadness. Please tell me you have changed for the better?.

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#98

When I was 10 or 11 my older brother was left in charge while my parents went to a comedy club. The rule was we could go to the neighbors house if there was an adult home, but no one was allowed in our house when mom and dad were gone. My brother wasn’t the “coolest” kid on the block, and he was trying to impress some older kids (teens) and wanted to a bunch of the guys he was hanging out with to our house to show them my dads stereo equipment. Me, knowing this guy and his friends were trouble (they were known to get high a lot), locked the doors before my brother brought them home (yeah... the person left to care for me left). My brother was so mad he was locked out that he punched through a window in the door. I didn’t get in trouble since I was following the rules, but having to replace the door wasn’t the intent when it happened.

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#99

The dumbest thing I did was when I was around 7 or 8...I tried to learn how to throw a boomerang and was captivated for a day. I still have a scar right next to my eyebrow from watching it come back.

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#100

I was little... like just under 2. Guess I was knee-deep in potty training. One day I went poop all by myself and was really proud. My dad was laying on the living room floor on his back. I jumped off the potty, ran down the hall, and yelled "Daddy, Daddy, I went big job!" and sat on his face, bare-butt, without wiping. Mom said he got up, laughing so hard she thought he might stroke out. She never told me if I turned my Dad into a true brown-noser, and to this day, I'm afraid to ask.

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Veronica Niechajczyk
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh dear god. I think this is worse than my daughter barfing into my husband's mouth when she was a baby and he held her above himself after she ate. Learned his lesson there.

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#101

When I was 9 I convinced my 2yo cousin that the chilli bush in her garden was actually a carrot bush. There were a lot of tears, I still feel bad about it...

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#102

As a teenager I volunteered at the special Olympics. I was working the concession stand and someone paid in change. I was having trouble calculating there change and it was taking a while. I said without hesitation or thinking, " I'm sorry I'm retarded." The customer looked at me and was mortified. I cried instantly.

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Miztre
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Haha oh shit! Everyone I grew up with used to say that, I conscientiously do not say that now as we have a new lady at work whose son is Autistic. It's slipped sometimes and I've been mortified! I know that would make the pc ppl furious!

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#103

I was 6 or 7 and it was my sisters birthday, we were having a party at our house, my Mum said whoever cleaned the front steps would get $2. I happily cleaned the stairs got the $2. Fast foward to the party and there was plenty of food (sweets, chips, party pies, etc) but I heard the ice cream van and ran out to go get myself an ice cream with my $2. I ran across the road and got my prize, then (without looking) crossed back to my side of the street only to be hit by a car. It wasn't long before my parents realised it was me. I remember coming to in the car with my Dad driving like an abolute maniac and Mum holding me. I looked down to see my shin bone sticking out at a very unpleasant angle. The woman who hit me came to visit me a few times and bought me the lots of presents. The best being Mouse Trap. Now as an adult I can't imagine how guilty she must have felt.

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#104

My sister is 5 years younger than me and has "royal blood". She was 3yo and were visiting our grandparents farm when i locked her in the shed. Well, the thing is in that shed the cheese was being processed so the smell was horrible. She began screaming and hitting the door when my aunt arrived freed the little spoiled kid and gave me a butt slap. I was shocked, no one ever touched me, so i told her i'm going home, she obviously laughed and said go!
Now mind you, the farm is in the woods, the home is at least 6km away, i had to cross the woods, walk along the highway, get to the village and climb over the fence because there was no one home. Did my aunt know that i was a crazy little idiot girl and by saying no she challenged me? Nope.
They found me home long time past sunset, my grandma crying my aunt crying, they left all the work at the farm called half of the village and searched the woods all day because they were sure i got lost and there was no way i could find the way home from there.

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#105

Not me, but my sister. She used the garden hose to "put gas in Mommy's car."

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Anjo
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😆😂🤣😱🤣 HA!!

#106

Probably not the worst, but the one I can think of off the top of my head. I live within a half hour of the US/Canada border, Canadian side, and back in the 80s and 90s and earlier a lot of people would go over to the states to buy gas, beer, milk, etc. It was pretty much a Sunday tradition for us. One time when I was maybe 6 or 7 we were over there for the usual load of junk food etc, and my parents bought me a cap gun. Coming back across the border the agents ask the usual questions about where we were, what we're bringing back. Dad lists off everything (except probably a lot of beer and tobacco, because smuggling that stuff was super easy back then), and when he finished I pipe up in the backseat and say "And a gun!", somewhat proud of my new toy. Well, turns out that's a sure fire way to get your car searched, and your dad busted for smuggling beer, who'd have known?

RaceCeeDeeCee Report

#107

One time I put a penny in my parent’s car’s cigarette lighter socket. It was the 80’s so lighter sockets were all over the car, including the doors in the backseat. It completely drained the battery within a few hours, and it took the guy at the garage a few days to figure out what was wrong with the electrical system.

DuanePickens Report

#108

When I was seven ish I just got a new bike and one of my friends asked if she could ride it. Ofcourse I said yes, and I hoped on the back (I was bare foot and had trouble balancing). As she rode on ,my bare foot got stuck . I was screaming and crying but she just kept going. My neighbor ran towards the bike and stopped it.

She got me of the bike (my foot bleeding) and shouted at the girl. She carried me to my house and bring me to my mother ( who was a nurse) who treated me until my father came home and took my to the hospital.

The girl never came to say sorry or play with me after that. I remember my mum and her mum having a huge fight after.

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Linda Gulley
Community Member
4 years ago

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Riding without shoes? Not too smart.

#109

I was about 7 when I made an enemy of my next door neighbour. I still dont see it as my fault that he had side chicks and side children and I didn't understand shit about that. When one of his assorted children came to play I was like 'I was playing with your brother the other week'.

'What brother?'

'Oh you know, the one your dad has with that other lady'

Book smart street dumb, was me.

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#110

When I was little I overheard my mom saying how my aunt chewed with her mouth open. Sometime later my aunt is in the car with my mom, myself and my sister, and I proudly yell out how my mom says she chews with her mouth open. It was terribly awkward and I’m glad I can only remember fragments of it.

Another time I came home from school crying and in front of my mother and grandmother told my mom how at school everyone else has a great-grandmother but I have a mean one. Didn’t understand the concept and we laugh about it constantly now.

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#111

When we were both 8, I gave my cousin a corn cob pipe I found in a drawer in the garage, and he put lawn clippings in it and smoked it, and had to be rushed to the hospital. Apparently my aunt and uncle had just chemically treated the lawn and he smoked a whole bunch of nasty pesticides and herbicides.

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#112

There were stray cats hanging around our house that had kittens. Me and my brother desperately wanted to keep one but of course my parents said no. So we grabbed one and hid it in the BBQ which had a lid on it. It suffocated. And we got in big trouble. That was over 35 years ago and I still feel awful about it.

nothinbeatsagoodshit Report

#113

I unknowingly broke my arm when I was four. My parents had no idea. I didn't complain much even though it hurt like hell. I wound up carrying my arm around with the other arm. Parents noticed me doing this but didn't know what to think. The break eventually healed this way and when I went for a check up the doctor informed my parents that I had broken my arm.

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#114

I was with my mom over at her friends' house. We were out in the barn looking at their chickens. As we were going out the neighbor guy shut the automatic garage door, and I thought it would be neat to do a sweet James Bond move and slide under the door as it was closing. Long story short, I got stuck under the door, and the guy had to lift it with his hands against the motor so I could slide out. I was a little older than I'd like to admit.

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Kiss Army
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was a little older than I'd like to admit"... LMAO!!

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#115

Not me, but my older sister needed material to make something (I can't remember what it was, some arts and craft thing). Anyway, she found my mother's wedding dress and decided it was the perfect material, so she cut a big square out of the dress.

Luckily my mother is very, very easy-going and has never cared about material things that much (she was a hippie, and still is), so she was initially annoyed but pretty much just laughed it off in the end.

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#116

I found naked pictures of my mother and swapped them for bubble gum. Needless to say, my dad was not pleased when he had to got to 5 houses around my very small town to get them back.

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Inaya K
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does your father have naked pictures of your mother just lying around???

#117

I called it "the wolf game." I'd stand halfway between my house and the woods and howl, and see how many wolves I could get to show up.
My record was three before common sense kicked in... I should not have survived to adulthood lol.

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MADELEINE KIMBALL
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

um WHAT yes you are correct HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE????

#118

When I was little there was a song called let me see your peacock(?). I thought pee was the bad word so I would go around yelling „let me see your cock“.

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#119

Basically my mom and dad divorced when I was really young because my dad was cheating and a hardcore drug addict. Well, my mom recovered and tried to get back into the dating world a few years later.

One day when I was around 7 or 8 I realized I'd seen her with 3 or 4 different guys over the course of a year or two, and I came up with the bright idea to say:

"Wow Mom, you've been with a lot of guys! Are you ever going to find one that loves you?"

It was an honest, naive child question and I couldn't understand why my mom ran away crying.

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#120

My baby sister once said to one of the nursery staff that her favourite thing to do was "crack with mummy".

After some concerned phone calls and some explanation. Mum explained to them that "crack" was when they hit the top of a boiled egg with a spoon.

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#121

ugh I also ate half a tube of extremely expired blue icing. How old was I, you may ask? Almost 15

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#122

When me and my friend(We'll call her L) were about 9 or 10 we slept outside on her trampoline during the summer. L woke me up really early before her mom woke up, and said she had a fun idea. We went behind some trees in her back yard (Not hiding us at all but being the young children we were thought it hid us completely) She told me to wait and went into the garage, after a few minutes she came out with a lighter and lighter fluid. L started gathering some small twigs and leaves and lit a small fire, I start going along adding more twigs and lighter fluid(Being the stupid child I was I thought this was totally fine). Than her grandma runs out screaming " WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!" We panicked when she pulled out the power hose and (excessively) sprayed the tiny fire.I started having instant regrets afterwards whilst L could have given less of a crap. Almost 4 years later I was hanging out with her and she brought me into the garage...... THERE WAS A SMALL FIRE MADE OF PAPER ON THE FREAKING FLOOR!!

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#123

Five years old, my sister and I were riding our bikes. I bragged that I could ride with my eyes closed, so I did for a few seconds. My sister (about two years older than me) tried it and promptly fell off her bike. Later, I think I tried to demonstrate the same thing to an older cousin. I think I took a spill and the next thing I remember was being carried back to the house by said cousin. I must have been knocked out.

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