We all did some horrible things as kids. Some of them were totally intentional because, let's be honest, children can be evil little beings. But more often kids do something awful without even knowing it - blame it on lack of experience, childish ignorance or awkward stupidity. Thankfully it's all in the past now, so let's recall the worst things we unknowingly did as children and have some laughs!
When I was 3, my mum was pushing me in my buggy through Woolworths. As we passed a huge adult-sized teddy bear lying flat on a display, I apparently somehow managed to bite the ear of the teddy as we passed and partially dragged it from the shelf. My Mum stopped and tried to pull it out of my mouth, but I applied lock-jaw.
She tried cajoling and quietly threatening me to release the bear. But I held fast with my little teeth.
She said she decided to wait, thinking I would tire, but 15 minutes later, I was calmly sitting in my pushchair with the bears - by now very wet - ear still safely jammed in my mouth.
Some shoppers and the store manager had gathered and my mortified mum just finally admitted defeat and bought the teddy and managed to walk it home with me still attached. I only unclamped my teeth when we reached home!
When I was about 8 I asked my dad if we could play "the naked man game." My dad, trying not to panic, asked me what it was. I responded "it's the one we play when [the babysitter] is over." He then asked me to show him where the naked man game was, so I took him to the closet, opened the door, and pointed up to Operation.
He told me years later that he nearly had a heart attack.
I was about 7 and made a potato salad for my Grandpa - with raw potatoes, raisins and mayo. He ate every bite and for the rest of his life told everyone I made him the best potato salad he'd ever had. I remembered this when I was about 14 and all I could think was how nasty that must have been and yet he ate every bite because I made it for him......
When I was about 3 or 4 I thought people were alive in the radio and on the TV. Made sense that the light on the radio helped them see to step up to the mic to sing! My parents thought it was cute and didn't tell me otherwise. I was watching "Green Acres" and Ebb said he was thirsty. I was taught to share, so I dumped my drink down the back of the TV to help him out....BOOM!!! After the TV blew up my parents started correcting me when I lived under false assumptions. On the plus side, we did get our first color TV!
I was about 6 or 7 and had been watching an old re-run Tarzan movie. Loved how he swung from the trees! So I went up to the bathroom, took a flying leap, gave my best Tarzan yell & grabbed the shower curtain rod. Snap! Crash! Thud! My mom raced up the stairs to find me flat on my back in the tub with 2 piles of plaster surrounding me in a cloud of dust. She said ,"Just wait till your father gets home" and sent me to the time-out chair, Dad came home home. Asked me why I was in the chair. I just cried. Mom said, " Just go to the bathroom". I knew I was doomed. And then... I heard my dad laughing. Really Laughing like I never heard him laugh before. Turns out, that he did the SAME thing when he was a kid when the 1st Tarzan movie came out! So, no yelling, no punishment. Just had to help him sweep up the mess and mix the spackle to put the bar back in & repair the wall.
I broke my parents up.
I asked my Mum if I could have dinner at my "Aunt Christie"'s house again because she cooked my favourite pasta. Turns out Mum didn't know who "Aunt Christie" was - which is because she wasn't really my aunt, she was the co-worker my Dad was sleeping with.
We had two staircases in our house: a front one which was straight and sort of formal and a back staircase which was narrow and curved twice before ending up in the kitchen. My 3-year-old brother had a little rocking chair that he loved, especially if I rocked him in it. I, age 4, had the bright idea that the rocking chair with my little brother in it could slide down the back stairs like a bobsled with a bit of assistance from me! So I talked my brother into sitting in the rocking chair at the top landing of the stairs while I rocked him, inching slowly toward the steps. Finally, with one little push, he was on his way down. The rocker didn't behave like a bobsled as I had imagined, though. It tumbled over and over before landing beside my brother (who had also tumbled over and over) on the kitchen floor! My mother rushed to cuddle my brother as I ran down the stairs, shouting, "I didn't mean it! It was supposed to be fun!" My brother miraculously was not hurt, but I was left sobbing on the kitchen floor while my mother rocked my brother in her arms, crooning,"Poor little Buddy, poor little boy." My brother Bud and I are in our 70s now but will never forget that day.
When I was six I thought fertilizer was dipping dots. I took a scoop full and stuffed it into my mouth. Oops...
When I was about 4 or 5, my family and I were taking the mrt when I saw a couple french kissing on the opposite bench. Immediately, at my loudest voice, I said "EWWWWWW! MOM! THEY'RE DOING BAD THINGS!" I don't know why I grew up thinking PDA is a bad thing and i didn't know this would be embarrasing for the both the couple and my family. The couple was red-faced. My Dad pretended as if he wasn't related to us and every other passenger on the train had a smile on their faces.
When I was about 3yo we had a little area in our garden to grow some vegetables. We had tomatoes and other stuff (dont remember too clear but tomatoes are for sure). My mom carefully explained, showed me all the stuff and said something like "Its a lot of work but in the end we will have home grown vegetables that will be so healthy!" So... my 3yo mind figured : lots of work? Mommy wont have time to play then! So I took my bucket and ripped off ALL the growing vegetables I could find. Everything. And nothing was ripe yet. You can tell mom wasnt too happy...Well at least the green tomatoes could be put on the window sill to ripe. Everything else had to be tossed... She still reminds me not to pick anything not ripe until today :D