While it's not necessarily nice to make jokes about mother in law, it can be a total knee-slapper and gain you bro points when executed in the right place at the right time. Whether it's the right time and place to crack a mother in law joke at your wedding in the groom's speech is very much questionable, so weigh the consequences yourself. P.S. Do not recommend it.
However, there's a reason why mother in law jokes are a thing, and, to add, there're so many of them. It’s no secret that many wedded couples have rather complicated relationships with the parents of their significant other. As the old slogan says, you either love them or hate them. Or you grow to love them. Or you don't and just grow to tolerate them.
Either way, love them or hate them, your special someone's family also becomes your family. You might dislike your mother in law but respect her nonetheless. Oh, the things we do for our significant others... So if you feel like your spouse or MIL would disapprove of funny mother in law jokes, keep those funny family jokes to yourself and have a giggle in private. Or with chums who can relate.
Below, we've assembled a list of the funniest mother-in-law jokes that will surely crack you up or might bring the house down. Literally. Look at some extended family jokes and let us know which you liked the most! And to see even more witticism and jokes about family, check out our assembly of parental humor memes!
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A husband and wife had a fight.
Wife called her mom: "He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you."
Mom: "No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!"
What’s the difference between outlaws and in laws?
Outlaws are Wanted.
Mother in law got pulled over.
Cop asked: "Whats in the bottle?"
She says : "Water."
He says: "It looks like wine!"
She's: Praise the lord, Jesus did it again!
First man: “My mother in law is an angel.”
Second man: “You’re a lucky fella, mine’s still alive.”
"My mother in law suffers from acute diabetes and hay fever... I always try to cheer her up with chocolate and flowers."
"I bought my mother in law a chair for her birthday... but my wife wouldn't let me plug it in."
"My mother in law bought a talking parrot, but returned it a week later. “This parrot hasn’t spoke a single word.” She complained. “I haven’t had a chance to!” Replied the parrot."
"I haven’t spoken to my mother in law for eighteen months – I don’t like to interrupt her."
"My mother in law said she wanted to die a natural death. So I've just dropped her off at the jungle."
"I still remember what my mother in law said just before she died. 'Stop shaking the ladder YOU LITTLE ****!'"
"My family was on vacation in Florida when suddenly I heard someone scream that my mother in law fell into the alligator pool. Not thinking twice, I jumped in... to save the alligator."
"Definition of mixed emotions. Seeing your mother in law drive over a cliff in your new car."
"My mother in law fell down our well last week but she is fine. She stopped crying for help two days ago."
Stranger from 3 days ago: What's that sound? Me: oh that''s just the troll in the well
"Every time I’m with my mother in law, I wonder who’s running hell in her absence."
"Where's your mother in law?"
"She's in the garden."
"Where? I can't see her."
"You have to dig a little."
What are the two worst things about your mother in law?
Her faces.
“I don’t know what I’d do without my mother in law, but it’s nice to dream about it.”
Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste."
He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
well, my sister's whine tastes like bad breath. and there's an infinite supply
A man is walking along the road when he sees his mother in law being attacked by five men. His wife asks, "Aren't you going to help?" The man says, "No five should be enough."
Little Johnny called mother in law a fat cow during the dinner and got slapped upside the head by his father right away. But not hard. As was agreed.
First man: “I took my dog to the vet today, because it bit my mother in law.”
Another asked: “Did you put it to sleep?”
The first replied: “No, I had its teeth sharpened.”
"I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother in law to the airport."
"My mother-in-law says I should bury myself in my work. I don't think she likes me and I drive a cement mixer."
"I never forget a face. But with my mother in law, I’m willing to make an exception."
A big game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One night the couple woke to find the mother gone. In a clearing not far from the camp they came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a tree with a snarling lion facing her. The wife said: “What are we going to do?” “Nothing,” said the husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it.”
A police recruit is asked during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother in law?” He replies, “I’d call for backup.”
"I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law. Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6."
"My mother in law asked for her birthday 'something for in bath'. Too bad she didn't like my toaster..."
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him “There is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us.”
The husband said, “Who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?”
Employee: "Can I have a day off next week to visit my mother in law?"
Boss: "Certainly not."
Employee: "Thank you so much! I knew you would be understanding."
"If a tiger was attacking your wife and mother in law at the same time and you could save one, who would it be?"
"The tiger of course. There are only a few left."
"My Mother in law said to me: 'I’ll dance on your grave, when you're dead.' 'Good!' I said, 'I’m being buried at sea.'"
"I always know when it’s the mother in law knocking at the door, because the mice start throwing themselves on the traps."
"The police have just released my mother in law after questioning her about the murder of her husband. They only spoke to her for two minutes before coming to the conclusion he committed suicide."
A man finds a lamp, rubs it and a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have two wishes but whatever he gets, his mother in law will get double. The man thinks for a while and says: “First I’d like a million Pounds. Then beat me half to death."
All jokes aside, I think that would be only 3/4 percent dead
My wife said: "Can my mother come down for the weekend?"
I said: "Why?"
She said: "Well, she’s been up on the roof two weeks already."
Bill: "I was sorry to hear that your mother in law died. What was the complaint?"
George: "We haven’t had any yet."
"The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother in law on the front step. She said, 'Can I stay here for a few days?' I said, 'Sure you can.' And shut the door in her face."
My mother in law came for a visit so I asked her: "How long do you plan to stay?" "Just until I start getting on your nerves", she replied. "Oh, so you won't even stay for a coffee?"
"We were having tea with my mother in law the other day and out of the blue she said, 'I’ve decided I want to be cremated.' I said, 'Alright, get your coat.'"
"Years ago, my mother in law began reading, “The Exorcist”. She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn’t finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier. I went out, bought another copy, ran it under the faucet and left it beside her bed."
It was evil because she is a demon who didn't want to be Exorcised!
"Mother in law came for dinner and asked, "Why does your dog keep staring at me?' I said, 'Because you're using his plate.'"
"I've spend the last 10 years looking for my mother in law's killer... but nobody will do it!"
At Christmas, a man just opened presents from his mother in law and she asks, "Where's mine?" He says, "I didn't get you anything this year." Visibly upset, she asks, "Why?" He says, "You never used what I got you last year." She yells, "It was a burial plot!"
"Do you know, my mother in law has vanished, just disappeared from home. Just like that."
"Have you given her description to the police?"
"No, they’d never believe me."
"If your mother in law and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose…"
"Would you go to lunch or a movie?"
"My mother in law’s coming. I had to clear out half my closet so she has somewhere to hang upside down and sleep…"
Did you hear about the cannibal that got married?
He toasted his mother in law at the wedding!
What does your mother in law and turkey have in common?
Seeing them once a year at Christmas is the perfect amount.
How many mothers in law does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.
A wife calls her mother in law and asks her, “If your baby puked and pooped, who should it clean it up?” The mother in law yells, “The mother of course!” The wife says, “Then come clean up your drunk son!”
“Oh, I didn’t expect you at work today Mr. Jones, isn’t it your mother in law’s funeral today?”
“Well you know how it is. Work first, then fun.”
You have your mother in law, father in law, son in law doughter in law but your wife is the law.
A guy sees his mother in law riding a bicycle.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"To the cemetery" she replies.
"And who is going to return the bike?"
"My mother in law told me that beauty is only skin deep. She must have been born inside out..."
What to do when your mother in law is zigzagging across your backyard?
Shoot again.
"Getting my mother in law to accept a free foreign holiday was easy. The hard part was convincing her Dignitas was Swiss for spa."
"I’m not saying the mother in law’s ugly but she went to see that film "The Elephant Man" and the audience thought she was making a personal appearance."
A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket. The young husband was standing by the switch. ‘Hello, darling,’ said the mother, ‘George has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism.’
LOLOL Well, I mean... that's one way to cure it I guess...
"It was very difficult to switch off my mother in law’s life support system. I had to fight my wife and two doctors to do it."
"'Diana!' I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door. She replied, 'My name is Anna!' I said, 'Yes. Yes I know.'"
"Today was my first Father's day and as we were cleaning up from the little party for all the dad's in my family, I couldn't help myself. Wife and mother in law: "How do you feel?" Me: "Normally with my fingers." They just rolled their eyes while I could hear chuckling from my dad and grandpa in the other room."
God said: "I cannot be everywhere, so I created mother."
The Devil replied: "Even she cannot be everywhere, so I created mother in law…"
"I really do have a soft spot for my mother in law. It's out in the garden behind the garage."
Did you hear about the man who threw his mother in law into the lion’s cage of a zoo?
He’s being sued by the RSPCA for animal cruelty.
"My mother in law began to address the elephant in the room. I asked her why she was talking to herself."
"My mother in law has come round to our house at Christmas seven years running. This year we’re having a change. We’re going to let her in."
"Dear mother in law... don't teach me how to bring up my children... I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement."
"My mother in law is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder."
"Last week my wife and I went to buy a car and the salesman asked if I wanted an airbag. I said: 'No thanks. I already have a mother in law.'"
A woman sent two ties to her son in law. Some weeks later, she invited him and her daughter over for dinner and in an attempt to impress his mother in law, the son in law wore one of the ties she’d sent him. The meal was extremely tense and uncomfortable with the mother in law maintaining a stony silence throughout it. Finally she spoke, “Alright then, what was wrong with the other tie?”
"My mother in law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut. She didn’t razor right."
"My mother in law always wanted to visit the Valley of a Thousand Hills, so I've booked her trip - a week on each hill."
"We came back from the ultrasound, and my mother in law said, 'Did you get to see the fetus?' I said, “Fetus, hand-us, leg-us, there’s practically a whole baby in there!'"
My mother in law was having dinner with us and began coughing while eating her corn on the cob. She said, "I'm choking on a kernel of corn." I said "At least it wasn't a General of Corn." No one laughed except me.
What’s the difference between terrorist and mother in law?
With the terrorist you can negotiate.
"10 years ago, I loaned my mother in law 5 thousand dollars and I haven't seen or heard from her since. Completely worth it, if you ask me."
"I picked my mother in law up from the airport last night. Don’t blame me, those airport lounges are so dark."
"My mother in law is Spanish, so when we named our son 'Muchos' it really meant a lot to her."
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. ‘This young man agreed to marry my daughter,’ said one. ‘No! He agreed to marry my daughter,’ said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. ‘Bring me my biggest sword,’ said Solomon, ‘and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half.’ ‘Sounds good to me,’ said the first lady. But the other woman said, ‘Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman’s daughter marry him.’ The wise king did not hesitate a moment. ‘This man must marry the first lady’s daughter,’ he proclaimed. ‘But she was willing to hew him in two!’ Exclaimed the king’s court. ‘Indeed,’ said wise King Solomon. ‘That shows she is the true mother in law.’
"Bought my mother in law some potting soil at Walmart. She asked how much it was. I said 'Don't worry, it was dirt cheap.'"
"I agreed with my mother in law once and she took about 6 hours to recover. The doctors said it was a close one!"
"I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious. I’ve no idea what kind of fees she’s charging him."
A guy goes on vacation in the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. The mother-in-law dies. So the couple goes to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the body home, but it will cost over $5,000, whereas burying her in the Holy Land would cost only $150. “We’ll ship her home,” says the husband. The undertaker asks, “Are you sure? That’s an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here.” The husband says, “Look, 2000 years ago they buried a guy here and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”
Lawyer to his client: “Your mother in law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?”
Son in law: “Take no chances? Order all three.”
"I picked up my newborn daughter to stop her crying. My mother-in-law commented, 'Wow, she really settled for you quickly!' 'Just like her mother.'"
"My son was talking to my father in law when they yell 'We are getting hit by mokitos!' (Mosquitos). I yelled back 'mojitos? Where!!?!' My wife tells 'We got mojitos up in here.' And my mother in law, not joking, says. 'I hear they can carry limes disease.'"
On my way out to the backyard grill.
Mother in law: "What did you say?"
Me: "I said I almost forgot the lighter."
Mother in law: "Oh, I thought you said you needed the ladder."
Me: "That's right, I need the ladder. Because the steaks have never been higher."
"Was talking with my step mother in law. She said "The kids are being quiet. They must be misbehaving." I followed with "That's sound logic..." I thought it was hilarious and she laughed once but my wife just thought it was stupid."
My mother in law asked, "If you don’t like me, why do you take me on holiday with you?"
I told her, "So I don’t have to kiss you goodbye…"
"A pharmacist tells a customer, 'In order to buy arsenic you need a
legal prescription. A picture of your mother in law just isn't enough.'"
"Why would you rather deal with a vicious dog than your mother in law?"
"A vicious dog eventually lets go!"
Does it really surprise anyone that mother in law's day occurs less than one week before Halloween?
"My mother in law was bitten by a dog yesterday."
"How is she now?"
"She's fine, but the dog died."
"The clock fell off the wall. If it did a minute sooner, it would have hit my mother in law. That clock was always slow!"
A rich mother in law has 3 daughters who are married off to 3 men. She wanted to test whether her sons in law really cared about her or not. So she devised a plan. She invites her first son in law for a run and after reaching a river she purposefully slips into the river's current. Without any hesitation first son in law jumps into the river and saves her. The very next day he receives a brand new Audi car and $10mn in cash with a note "Thanks for saving me mother in law". She now invites second son in law for run and does the same, without hesitation he jumps in and saves her. The next day he receives same model car, $10mn and note saying "Thanks for saving me mother in law". She now invites her final son in law and does the same when she reaches the river but this time the son in law just ignores and walks back to his home. The very next day he receives 2 brand new cars and $20 mn in cash with a note "Thanks for saving me father in law".
What do you call it when you’re late to dinner at your Mother in Law’s?
Delaying the inedible.
Steve: "My mother in law went to the Caribbean."
Fred: "Jamaica?"
Steve: "Well I hope so, it’s hurricane season and she’s a horrible person."
A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother in law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn’t buy her any presents. His mother in law was upset and asked the son in law why she had been forgotten this time. The angry son in law responded, ‘Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year.’
"I saw my mother in law tying herself to the train tracks. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing. I looked at her, my eyes widened and said, 'Don’t do it!' 'Why the hell not?!' she yelled. I said, 'They aren’t running today.'"
"My son was just born and we named him Cornelius. My mother in law responded with "Corny? Seriously?" Well if I wasn't it would be a bad joke."
What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your mother in law?
"Sir, we were able to save her!"
What do you have when your mother in law is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
Too little concrete!
"I have never made a fool of my mother in law. I just leave her to display her natural talents herself."
Toilets are like MIL’s – the further away the better.
"My mother in law’s other car is just a broom!"
Why do they bury mother in law’s 18 feet down instead of the normal 6 feet?
Because deep down, they really are nice people.
Adam & Eve were the happiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother in law.
"I Have a daughter named after my mother in law. Passive-Agressive Psycho turns 5 next week."
If you are driving really fast and suddenly you see your wife and your mother in law in front of you, what will you hit first?
Brakes... the brakes.
"I had dinner with my mother in law the other night. Was gonna ask 'Would you to pass the salt, please?' But instead my tounge twisted and I said 'You stupid cow. You've completely ruined my life.'"
The man came home after visiting his sick mother in law. His wife asked how her mother was doing. The man responded, "She is getting released in two days and moving in to our home!" Shocked, the wife says, "How’s that possible? When I visited her yesterday, she was in the respirator?" "I know", said the husband, "I was baffled too, but the doctor said we had to prepare for the worst."
"At dinner tonight my mother in law asked why my sons knife had a bend in it. I told her it’s so he can cut corners."
The bride to be and her soon to be mother in law didn't agree on much during the wedding planning. Both being from Texas, the mother in law wanted something big and fancy. And the BTB wanted more of a traditional outdoors gathering. They couldn't even agree on what to serve their guests for dinner. As the date approached, they were barely speaking to each other. In the end, it was a chili reception.
My young daughter is still learning to microwave food. She attempted to reheat some of her food last night, but left the fork in the bowl. The wife caught it and pointed out that it could cause the microwave to explode and potentially hit grandma who was sitting with her back to the microwave. Wife (to daughter): "You wouldn't want Grandmom to get hit by glass shrapnel and a fork would you?" Me (interjecting): "Well, at least then I would have a reason to say your Mom is really forked in the head." The mother in law nearly choked on her food, but laughed and could appreciate the joke. She know she cray cray.
"Out to dinner, mother in law tried to say 'fondled' and 'fumbled' at the same time. She ended up saying 'fundled'. Wife asked 'What is fundled?' I said, 'It's the type of harassment you can't get sued for.'"
"Riding in the car, my mother in law tells us she used to work at a tack factory. I said 'It's a good job to stick with... just making a point...'"
"My mother in law informs me she is waiting on a knee replacement. Me says, 'Then you'll have a faux-knee (phony).'"
"My nephew was playing with his Mr. Potatohead and he throws his body parts about the room (he's 2). Her: 'Looks like Mr. Potatohead became a suicide bomber.' Me: 'I know his last words.' Her: 'What?' Me: 'Au gratin ackbar.' 'I'll be here all week.'"
"My wife and mother in law were washing some dishes in the kitchen after a get together. I came in to get a drink and noticed a box of crackers on the counter where they were standing. Me: "What do those crackers do?" Mother in law: "What do you mean?" Me: "Just curious to know what those crackers do. That is all." Mother in law: "Those were for the cheese that i bought. Did you want some more cheese and crackers? I have some left in the fridge." Wife: "Mom. They say "entertainment" crackers." My wife started to laugh since i got her mom. Mother in law tried to play it off."
"I took my mother in law to Madame Tussard’s Chamber of Horrors, and one of the attendants said, ‘Keep her moving sir, we’re stock-taking’"
Driving down the street, see sign that says "Yukon road closed, take detour." Mother in law in backseat says "aahh, Yukon't drive there." Groaning intensifies...
"Bringing my kids home after a trip to the beach, I asked how their trip was. My mother-in-law said "It was really windy, which sucked." I replied "Really? I would have thought it blew." She didn't get it."
Mother in law to sister in law: "Why aren't you in Pennsylvania this week?"
Me: "Because she's here at the table with us."
"My mother in law was visiting and my wife was showing off her new spice rack. I picked up the thyme and handed it to her. I immediately asked for it back. But then I gave it to her again. And asked for it back. She looked at me very puzzled and asked 'What are we doing?' I replied, 'Just passing thyme.'"
"Christmas dinner, 2013. My mother in law is asked if she'd like some wine, is offered choices, Pinot Grigio, Mulled Apple or Cabernet. She's indecisive for a minute or so. Eventually, she settles on the apple wine. Her father comments, "Well that sure took a long time." I retorted with, "Well, she had to mull it over for a bit." Simultaneously, 4 generations of women roll their eyes at me, while the guys all laugh."
At the dinner table. Mother in law: "He has recently had two surgeries to fuse his lower vertebrae, his recovery has been quite slow." Me: "Well I would expect nothing less after having back to back operations." After about 4 seconds people started leaving the table.
"We were cleaning up and making sure all the toys were accounted for when I noticed the "L" block was missing from the pile. Me: "Anyone see the L block anywhere?" Husband and mother in law, after looking around a bit: "No." Me: "I guess it got the "L" out of here." Mother in law rolled her eyes and smirked. Husband left the room grumbling about me spending too much time in."
"During a lull in conversation, I said "well..." and paused. She quickly interjected "Its a deep subject, don't fall in!" 3 seconds later... groans all around."
At one point at a family barbeque today the ended up sitting on a potato chip. Mother in law: "Better on your butt then on your shoulder." Groans from everyone.
"My mothers in laws 50th birthday coming up. We are getting T-Shirts made up and we want to have T-Shirts made up for the guests and one made up for the mother in law. Her name is Jo King. We are having thoughts on. She is turning 50? You gotta be JoKing for the guest T-Shirt. I’m Jo King and I’m turning 50 for the mother in law shirt."
"My wife was face timing her parents with the toddler and asked me for a little sprite to drink. Not wanting to pass up the opportunity, I filled a demitasse cup and proceeded to hand it to her. Walking away with my subtle triumph I hear my mother in law say "I don't think that's what she asked for,",and my father in law telling her it probably was a little sprite. The rest of my wife's conversation had more mouthed "vacuums" (I presume) then normal."
At dinner with wife and parents in law.
Mother in law to waitress: "I'll have the half slab of ribs."
Waitress: "Okay."
Father in law to waitress: "You didn't ask which half she wanted!"
"The newlywed wife, Monica, said to her husband, Nick, when he returned from work, 'I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two.' Nick started glowing with happiness and kissing Monica purred, 'Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world.' Monica smiled and added, 'I'm glad that you feel that way, Nick, because tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us.'"
When Roger came home, his wife, Norma, was crying. 'Your mother insulted me,' she sobbed. 'My mother?' spluttered Roger, 'How could she do that when she is on holiday on the other side of the world?' 'I know.' Norma gulped, 'But this morning a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it because I was curious.' 'And?' 'At the end of the letter it was written: 'Dear Norma, when you have finished reading this letter, don't forget to give it to my son, Roger.'
A guys mother in law comes to live with him. One day he comes home to find her passed out on the floor. He calls 911, the paramedics come and pick her up and take her to the hospital. The guy goes to the hospital and is in the waiting room when the doctor comes out. The doctor says, “Well, I have some good news and some bad news.” The guy says, “Alright, give me the bad news first.” The doctor says, “Your mother in law is not going to die. She had a massive stroke, but she is probably going to live another 20-30 years. The problem is the stroke has rendered her unable to speak. She just makes this horrible screeching noise like a parrot now. It has also disabled her ability to use her arms. For the next 20-30 years you are going to have to feed her baby food 3 times a day. Also, its mad her incontinent, so you’re going to have to change her diapers and clean her up every single day for the next 20-30 years.” “Oh my god”, the guy said. “Whats the good news?” The doctor chuckles and goes, “Im just kidding with you she died.”
"While bottlefeeding my 1 month old daughter, sometimes she will hold both her arms straight out as she feeds. My wife commented on this and wondered aloud why she does that my mother in law said without missing a beat: 'She likes to eat a balanced breakfast.'"
"My mother in law just got Reddit. I want to take this opportunity to let her know how much I truly love and appreciate all she does for me and my wife."
"I took my dog, my social media addict daughter and my mother in law in the car yesterday. I can’t afford a car stereo but I still have a woofer, a tweeter and a loud-speaker."
Sorry, what mother in law's actually do? Some of these are so cruel! 😔
Sorry, what mother in law's actually do? Some of these are so cruel! 😔
