50 Times People Were Shocked By What Unhinged Things Their MIL Just Said To Them
As Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist and researcher, shared on Luke Coutinho's podcast, she sees the mother-in-law syndrome in clients not just from the United States, but also from Latin America, the Middle East, Europe, and Africa. Across cultures, the root cause is often the same—blurred boundaries, generational trauma, and unspoken expectations around control, respect, and hierarchy.
To get a better understanding of what this looks like in everyday life, Reddit user Magnoliabluebell_ asked everyone on the platform to share the most unhinged things their MILs have ever said. The replies they’ve received show that while the details may change from one family or culture to another, the emotional weather pattern is eerily familiar.
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My first baby was a super preemie, 26 weeks. NICU for 116 days. Murphy’s law baby the entire stay. MIL called me one morning and said “stop going to the hospital! If you stop going, my son will stop going because he shouldn’t have to go through this with THAT baby!”
I cussed her so bad she showed up at NICU waiting area with food for us. I dumped it in the trash in front of her and walked away. DH told her to go home. Thirty two years later we are still VLC.
MIL has been nominated for the Nobel Witch Prize. 🏆 That's witch with a capital B. 🧙🏼♀️
It has to be the time when she told us that she *will* be raising our baby and if I'm a good little girl, she may see her way into letting us visit
We were firmly in our 40s, this was going to be our one and only after 20 years and the baby was so very much wanted by my husband and I. There was no way on this green earth I was just going to blindly pass off my baby for someone else to raise.
And that's how you lose all unsupervised visits with your grandchild. Or possibly all visits, period.
Me in my early 40’s trying for a second child In the midst of my 8th failed IVF egg collection & two failed pregnancies, she tells me “having an only child is the cruelest thing a mother could do”. Then, when finally and amazingly pregnant, she tells me “most IVF children have neurological problems”.
Vile shrew.
My MIL was massively Bipolar and had separation anxiety. I acted as her caretaker off and on for over 8yrs. When my ex left me for another woman I began making arrangements to move back to my home state as the only people I knew in that state were my ex's family and his then best friend. I warned my FIL ahead of time so we could deal with her issues beforehand.
My MIL ended up finding out that I was leaving and broke my arm by throwing a chair at me. My ex's now former best friend helped me move out that same day. As we were taking out the last of my belongings she threatened to hurt herself with a pair of scissors. My FIL encouraged me to leave and told me that he'd take care of things. Both my MIL and FIL ended up having to go to the E.R. after she hurt herself and my FIL. Despite being blocked on everything and living over 3000 miles away she kept attempting to contact me for the next 2yrs. I still have nightmares about that woman.
She told me I was a terrible hostess when they visited and we didn’t take them out to make the most of their time. For context, we were stationed in Germany at the time, and her and my FIL bought tickets against our request to meet our newborn. They landed in country the day we were discharged from the hospital so my husband had to drop us off at home to drive 2 hours to pick them up from the airport.
I’m sorry my unplanned C-section was inconvenient for her plans to be a tourist /s
And no, they didn’t come to be helpful or all the nice things I hear family members doing for a post partum mom. lol.
Extremely narcissistic and selfish behavior. What's wrong with these people??
3 months after I had a stroke. I’m still using a walker to help me get around.
She told me to just get over it already.
" my husband and I have been speaking about it the last few months, and I just wanted you to know that we have accepted it the best we can, and feel it's OK for you to have this baby "
Thank God i had her majesty's permission, holding her in with keegal exercises until she could walk out wanted by these people was presenting a challenge for me.
I terminated a pregnancy after tests showed a fatal chromosome disorder. "Oh, that's too bad, I was looking forward to being a grandmother!"
(I have had a much easier time dealing with my MIL since a therapist friend told me that her emotional development probably stalled out when she got pregnant with my husband as a teenager. Now I only expect the level of emotional maturity you'd get from a 17yo and our relationship has been much improved.).
Similar situation - I had made mention to my wife about having a second child and my MIL chimes in from across the room with “oh no. Y’all are not having a second one.” I was absolutely speechless that someone else thought they could tell me how many children I can have.
That’s only valid if the rest of the sentence is “while you are living in my house and expecting me to support you and provide childcare.” I do know someone who said that to her daughter and son in law.
This was said by fil, but mil said absolutely nothing!
My hubby is an only child. We went over to their house to tell them that he had cancer. His Dad said "well, you won't get any sympathy from me!".
When I had my 2nd baby, she told me that PPD was not a real thing. She was actually mad at me for being so emotional
It took her oldest son (my husband's brother) to have a long talk with her for her to be civil with me. She still doesn't believe it to this day... Even though I'm taking medication right now for severe PPD after having my 4th baby.
“Why do you need her when you have me?” — said to my husband while gesturing to me and crying hysterically.
My husband (31M) and I (31F) eloped in October. We showed MIL photos from elopement on Christmas. Her only comment to us directed toward me : "You look like a witch." I'm done with her.
"I just don't understand how she's getting any nutrients with that breast milk, you're so skinny."
About my 17-pound 4-month-old daughter.
That would be when MIL started hinting about grandchildren about a week after the wedding. (We are both 47, and I got my tubes tied at age 35.) I just laughed.
While I was nursing my 4-month old daughter:
“I hope she doesn’t turn out gay because she’ll go straight to hell. But she is beautiful.”
“I know she won’t take a bottle, but I go home and cry because I can’t bottle-feed her.”
I have soooo many of these.
Me 38 weeks pregnant.
SMIL “I’m going to have to get a car seat base for my car. We’ll call you guys up and let you know which WEEKS we are going to take the baby”
Me; sputtering, dumbfounded, caught off guard: “umm I’ll be breast feeding. You can’t just take my baby”.
SMIL; continuing to be a dumb witch: “oh you can just pump!!”.
So she thought you were going to share your baby with her? Unbelievable
My favorite was when MIL told me she won't be babysitting my child. I was pregnant at the time. She stated she was working full time and enjoyed her time off. This was while she was watching SIL's daughter, which she did for 5 hours every week while SIL & hubby went to dinner and bowling.
We made sure we never needed her to babysit, and she begged a few years later to take our kids overnight. The kids were old enough to say it wasn't fun spending the night there, so they never did again.
When our kids were teens, I was going with hubby on a work trip, so she did stay at our home to make sure the kids were fine. She was pissed I had the meals all planned out and they just needed to pull something out of the freezer and pop in the micro. She went ahead, bought and made the kids dinner one night and the kids suffered through her cooking.
She is probably turning in her grave that hubby and I have been married for 41 years now and still haven't had our marriage blessed by a Priest.
I had just injured my shoulder and was facing potential need for surgery (we were waiting to find out). I also happened to be in between jobs. I was lightly searching for jobs, but being unable to move my arm, I wasn’t exactly too focused on finding a job, I was more focused on what I was going to do if I ended up needing serious surgery (in which case I wouldn’t be able to work a job anyways).
She comes over and asks how my job search is going, and just seemed pushy about the idea of me making sure I got a job. I asked her “don’t you understand why I might not be prioritizing a job right now? I might be needing a very serious surgery soon.” She literally says to me “well I guess it’s just a matter of how we grew up. I grew up on a farm where we just worked through our injuries.”.
*wonders why so many farmers have crippling, debilitating issues later in their lives* /s
Whenever our families would meet and I wore makeup she’d say “oh you did your makeup? I’m barefaced today (slaps her own face) I’m too busy I don’t have time to wear makeup…you look nice though…” she’d repeat this until I or DH will acknowledge the comment.
I’ve always had my nails done with my natural nail length and just gel on top or dip powder and MIL went once to an apprentice to get hers done because it was cheaper. She went for acrylic to make them longer too. They didn’t last long on her and she commented “your nails always look lovely, mine didn’t last very long…I guess I work too hard and they just fell off”
When DH and I got engaged she’d repeatedly say how he wanted to marry her when he was a child and how his sister wants a man just like him and won’t settle for less.
During my maternity leave with my second child she’d have the habit of showing up unannounced and have coffee to “catch up”. Bare in mind I was recovering from a c section that had ripped open and infected because I pushed myself too hard and didn’t let my body heal properly. Well one of those times she came in with an Apple Watch and I was complementing her on it. She then said “oh I’ve taken 17000 steps today, I work so hard. I wonder how many steps you’re taking lately…”
Like that I have plenty of other examples. We are NC going on 2 years now.
Probably when she texted my husband at 3am threatening to call CPS on us because she felt like our twins had speech issues that needed to be tested. They were just barely 2.
That my child only had her and Dh DNA. She was serious, for the next 2 decades so far. Still says it.
She trained as a teacher so no, she's not stupid, Nor a ignorant village girl, just a good actor when needed.
“Well if you don’t want kids I guess I’ll just have to work on convincing [him]” talking about her son - my partner of 8 years, who also has made it abundantly clear he doesn’t want kids either.
Bonus points because this was said at a family BBQ in front of her entire family.
Sometimes it's the duty of a good son to say "Oh, just shut your mouth, mom."
Today.
She called me sick in the head.
Because I refused to let her call an ambulance due to our baby’s boogies.
Then called my family to tell them our son was suffering because I don’t take care of him. Told them I do nothing around the house. I am 4 months PP, FTM, c-section with A SICK BABY.
I responded to her calling me sick in the head “Okay you won’t see the baby anymore as I’m so sick in the head”.
My mother in law blamed me for getting pregnant on purpose, our pregnancy was unplanned. She said don’t make another persons son a villain in your story. Then continually called my baby a sin.
During my pregnancy before we found out the gender she said to me "hope it's not a girl, they always get SA'D" .... 4 days later we found out we were having a girl.
Your dad is the ok kind of brown because your kids will look white....
My MIL wrapped her fingers around my oldest daughter’s wrist then says, ( to her oldest granddaughter) “you have big wrists! You must have inherited your mother’s peasant genes.” She did this in front of me. My daughter was 6. As if she gerself is descended for royalty. Her mother was a seamstress and her father was a stevedore.
For those of us who haven't heard of a stevedore- a person employed, or a contractor engaged, at a dock to load and unload cargo from ships.
Oooh so many to choose from!
1. I had really hoped my son would bring home a different kind of woman.
2. I know he loves you, but he could do so much better
3. When she met our son she said thank you three times. Not congratulations. Thank you.
4. It has always been my dream to be part of a birth. Awkward silence while she stared at me.
I was 23 at the time. She said this one on a yearly basis.
I had just given mine a 4 year old suv, paid off in full. My baby was 4-6 months ish. She told me if I thought more with my brain and less with my belly I would be thin by now… I had just opened my first business also and that’s what she was worried about… she also gifted me with diet pills…. Mind you post partum I was a size 6….
When I was pregnant for the second time my MIL POS told me that they didn’t need another grandchild as they already had one (my eldest) 🤯
She couldn’t have mine over night until they were out of nappy’s (so never had them). Once her daughter had kids they were staying overnight asap. Her loss. My boys are fantastic.
‘I hope you don’t raise your kids like you train your dog’ the moment my husband left the room.
My MIL is a very strange individual. She doesn't think before she says anything. On numerous occasions she's called me fat but here are a few that seriously take the cake lol. She's said a ton of unhinged things to me but for me these are the two most memorable.
1) my husband took my last name as he has no ties to his father and his mother knows this. When naming our Son we chose to name him after my grandfather and to give him My (and now also my husbands) last name. When we told MIL the name of our baby her immediate response to my husband was "Oh, so nothing to tie him to you? That's sad."
2) When i was only 5 months postpartum I got pregnant again. Yes i know thats very very early but we are happy. I'm now 31 weeks with twins so that means we are having 3 under 2. When we told MIL she immediately told me "You need to get fixed." ..... FIXED!!???!?!
I can't remember them all, but here are some
1. Looked right at me before looking at her son and saying in the most cringe, disgusting way possible, "That's my baaabyyy," referring to our daughter. I half laughted, half puked in my mouth to myself. Looking back, I should have laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it.
She's always wanted a fourth child but couldn't because her and her husband couldn't financially, so she's jealous and wants a do over as well.
2. After coming back from a stay cation, she said, "But it's not like you missed your daughter, I mean, you didn't miss her, did you?"
She wants to play mommy so badly!
3. (In the same day) "I wish I could raise her and then give her back when she's pre-teen because that's a nightmare age and I don't want to deal with that"
She loves my daughter so much!
Sorry to disagree. She doesn't love your daughter at all. She loves the idea of being a *mother*, knowing d**n well she can "return the product" the moment she gets bored of it. If she really loved your daughter she would respect you and be the loving granny, without being passive-aggressive. I don't think you should let your daughter stay with her unsupervised.
Not to me, but within my hearing. After 6+ yrs of infertility, i just found out I was finally pregnant with my 2nd. MIL decided to say that I should terminate it because we couldn't afford another kid (2002 combined income was over $170k/yr.).
I would have slapped the ignorant bag in the face then permanently banned her.
First time I met her, “so do you know DH’s ex girlfriend- I thought she was so so sweet”.
She asked me to go to family therapy with her and then mid session she told me “I hope you’re enjoying your wedding present.” Lmfao.
Wow! If you keep dieting you might be smaller than me someday. I wore a size 2, she wore a size 14.
My MIL very aggressively asked me why I refer to my son, as “my son” (as a term of endearment) that he’s not just my son, he’s my partners too. I said of course he is, I never said he wasn’t partners. It’s said with no malicious intent, just a pet name I guess?
She lost it. Same women who would constantly bring up my partner ex of 11 years ago and was told to “get over it” once my discomfort was expressed. Lady, you’re the one who’s bringing her up!
I could go on for days honestly 😅.
As I was pouring milk in my 2 year old’s sippy cup…. “That’s a lot of milk there, mom.” It was literally a standard-sized sippy cup of milk. Meanwhile, when my kids are at her house, she lets my daughter have 3 cups of lemonade, overfeeds my kids, and loads them up with sweets. 🤦🏻♀️.
"Why would you buy ....., you both will eventually split and then how will you share it?"
"Small people tend to have a different kind of body shape. It all just seems compressed.".
MIL said to me “your children are not as special to me as my daughter’s children. It just not the same. A DIL’s children are just not as special.” She said this about her son’s daughters.
My sister's MIL is like this, she was furious that sis had the first grandchild and ignored my sis for a year - until she needed something.
I told my mother I was pregnant with our PLANNED pregnancy, my second. She said, with ice dripping off her voice, "Oh, I thought you were done.".
The only appropriate answer: "Oh, I am done alright--done with you and your disdain."
Probably the worst one is:
"I tried therapy, but I couldn't find a therapist who is smarter than me, so therapy doesn't work on me. It's a good thing you are in therapy, though!".
I don't know if there is a therapist somewhere who is smarter than her. But I'm sure there aren't many who could match her intelligence.
So, my SO and I have been together for 6 years, and I am in my mid 40’s. His mother and I have talked about the fact that my child bearing days are over. My SO has no biological children of his own and he is a few years younger than me. So a few weeks ago his mom came over and was saying that he should become a father and have some kids and how he would be such a great father… All I kept thinking was with who? Who should he have these kids with? Now she said this with a smile on her face but I knew exactly what she meant. When I talked to her about having another child (I have one grown child) she blatantly told me I was too old to even think about ever having another child. This is what I am dealing with….
When I had my first baby, the day after she met her, she called me on the phone to say ‘when’s the next time we’re gonna see her, in a year?’ Because I assume she thought she was going to see her first thing next day. And ‘you remind me of the mother of my other grandkids.’ Because I didn’t want the whole house to come over. Oh, and ‘I’m gonna have to steal him and take a nap’ when I had my son.
I’m British, in-laws are French.
MIL was reading an article about the Monster Raving Loony party in the UK. There was a typical quirky unflattering photo of a guy from the party playing the fool. My husband makes a comment on how ugly the guy looks and MIL immediately says “I guess it’s all the inbreeding on the island.”.
My MIL started crying at a family dinner when we announced we were pregnant with baby #3. She was hoping her daughter would get pregnant with her first baby, which happened soon thereafter. How dare we have a third?
God, I have so many stories.
I feel like this is a boomer thing. My mom, my aunt, my MiL, my SiL’s mother are all obsessed with their weight. They all have some form of an eating disorder and constantly talk about their weight or other people’s weight. Without fail if we go out to eat, my mom will push her food around and say, “I used to be 95 lbs.” “I used to be smaller than you.” like no one cares? Literally, no one cares how small you are now or how small you used to be. You were unhealthy then and you’re unhealthy now. Eat some fkn food.
Note: this post originally had 60 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
My mother in law is the best. When I first met her she said "hi honey. So, is his di*k still crooked? Poor thing was curved like a little nanner as a baby, and he used to run around naked wiping his poopy b*m with my curtains. Just think of that when he ticks you off."
I'm so glad I'm single now, my ex's mother once called me a lazy b***h for not doing more around the house - I was 5 days post major abdominal surgery and could barely get myself to the bathroom.
I had 2 mothers-in-law, so you get 2 stories. 1st, husband was cheating on me. When I asked his mother for help she said "You made your bed, now lie in it" I had no idea what she meant, I had done nothing to deserve his cheating. I was a good wife to him, mother to his children. 2nd, on our wedding day, she went around to him,and the guests at the reception telling all I was pregnant, and tricked him into marrying. LOL I was 44, and had had my uterus out 3 years earlier. What a cûnt she was.
well, not my MIL, it was my mom but shes my husband's MIL. anyway after finding out we were having a baby she told me 1) that she would be raising the baby for the first year since baby wouldnt even remember me at that age anyway and 2) she'd be contesting custody through the courts if i died in child birth and raising the baby indtead of my husband because no way was a man capable of raising a child. anyway we have been NC for 7 years now. she doesnt even know about her other two grandchildren. they arent missing out by not knowing her. they have plenty of family
I'll add mine too: Although not horrible by comparison; the now late MIL used to attempt to "ban" me from wearing anything other than long pants because of my s*x. When she couldn't, she'd scoff and complain of course, but the kicker was she exclusively wore "men's" pants herself! Looked like a deer in the headlights when this was pointed out to her face.
My own mother is NC/Low Contact for her narcissistic manipulations and lies. My MIL is kind and amazing and works hard and we feel spoiled being allowed to stay with her (we own our own business but we help around the house). My Grandmother In Law was the one I had to keep explaining to that I could not have kids and my husband/her grandson didn't want them anyway EVERY time we saw her. She tried to make me feel guilty for not giving her granddaughters (specifically), and would go through my purse if I left it unattended.
Opposite ends of the spectrum. 1. My maternal grandmother told my dad that he "couldn't give my daughter the life that she's accustomed to." Both grew up poor, but my dad said "You're right. I intend to give her better." and he has (plus grandma was a raging Bish until the day she died). 2. Before my parents got married, they had to attend pre-marital counseling at my mom's church. Mom is Catholic and My dad is Lutheran. Part of it was the padre had to meet with both sets of parents before the wedding. My dad's only living parent was his mom, and when she met with the padre, she asked "When they have kids, will they come out Catholic?" The padre and my parents sat there like :O for a few seconds. My mom still tells that story.
My mother in law is the best. When I first met her she said "hi honey. So, is his di*k still crooked? Poor thing was curved like a little nanner as a baby, and he used to run around naked wiping his poopy b*m with my curtains. Just think of that when he ticks you off."
I'm so glad I'm single now, my ex's mother once called me a lazy b***h for not doing more around the house - I was 5 days post major abdominal surgery and could barely get myself to the bathroom.
I had 2 mothers-in-law, so you get 2 stories. 1st, husband was cheating on me. When I asked his mother for help she said "You made your bed, now lie in it" I had no idea what she meant, I had done nothing to deserve his cheating. I was a good wife to him, mother to his children. 2nd, on our wedding day, she went around to him,and the guests at the reception telling all I was pregnant, and tricked him into marrying. LOL I was 44, and had had my uterus out 3 years earlier. What a cûnt she was.
well, not my MIL, it was my mom but shes my husband's MIL. anyway after finding out we were having a baby she told me 1) that she would be raising the baby for the first year since baby wouldnt even remember me at that age anyway and 2) she'd be contesting custody through the courts if i died in child birth and raising the baby indtead of my husband because no way was a man capable of raising a child. anyway we have been NC for 7 years now. she doesnt even know about her other two grandchildren. they arent missing out by not knowing her. they have plenty of family
I'll add mine too: Although not horrible by comparison; the now late MIL used to attempt to "ban" me from wearing anything other than long pants because of my s*x. When she couldn't, she'd scoff and complain of course, but the kicker was she exclusively wore "men's" pants herself! Looked like a deer in the headlights when this was pointed out to her face.
My own mother is NC/Low Contact for her narcissistic manipulations and lies. My MIL is kind and amazing and works hard and we feel spoiled being allowed to stay with her (we own our own business but we help around the house). My Grandmother In Law was the one I had to keep explaining to that I could not have kids and my husband/her grandson didn't want them anyway EVERY time we saw her. She tried to make me feel guilty for not giving her granddaughters (specifically), and would go through my purse if I left it unattended.
Opposite ends of the spectrum. 1. My maternal grandmother told my dad that he "couldn't give my daughter the life that she's accustomed to." Both grew up poor, but my dad said "You're right. I intend to give her better." and he has (plus grandma was a raging Bish until the day she died). 2. Before my parents got married, they had to attend pre-marital counseling at my mom's church. Mom is Catholic and My dad is Lutheran. Part of it was the padre had to meet with both sets of parents before the wedding. My dad's only living parent was his mom, and when she met with the padre, she asked "When they have kids, will they come out Catholic?" The padre and my parents sat there like :O for a few seconds. My mom still tells that story.
