Everybody hates Mondays, but what are you gonna do about it except laugh at your woes? Every Monday passes, and although the scorn leaves its trace upon your face, this dreadful day can be at least a tiny bit better if you read these hilarious Monday jokes. Yup, we feel the Monday blues, too, so this post of weekday jokes is as vital for us as it is to you! After all, isn’t it what funny Monday memes were invented for? To save lives or at least the good mood?
The Positive Side of Monday Morning
Image credit: Andrea Piacquadio
Be that as it may, a Monday does have a couple of brighter sides to it. The first one is that this calamity happens only once a week! See, that doesn’t sound that bad when you put it into writing, does it? Also, it lasts the same measly twenty-four hours as any other day. So, no prolonged miseries should be associated with a Monday.
Also, this day is a good day to start something new, like petting your cat more or going on lunchtime walks with your dog. Color us surprised if it doesn’t prove that the dreaded Monday is just your regular day! But, if you need more proof, you are very welcome to check out the funny jokes and Monday morning quotes below; maybe they’ll soothe you in preparation for greeting this day.
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After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF…
Boss: "Can you work this weekend?"
Me: "Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends."
Boss: "What time will you get here?"
Me: "Monday."
Things I don’t like:
1) Probably you.
2) Cold coffee.
3) Small talk.
4) Mondays.
5) Having a small talk with you on a Monday while my coffee is getting cold.
What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?
Unemployed.
It's all fun and games until Monday rolls around and you have to put a bra back on.
Once you get above a certain cup size, going braless is more uncomfortable; these things are heavy, and oh my god the under-boob sweat D:
"I always give 100% at work.
14% on Monday.
30% on Tuesday.
30% on Wednesday.
24% on Thursday.
2% on Friday."
One day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours.
The same as one Monday on Earth.
The shortest horror story is called: "Monday."
Mondays stab you once every week and make all your energy flow out of your body
Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, divide the happiness.
Monday morning… rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off the floor is another story. Somehow the floor is even comfier than the bed.
If you ever see me smiling on a Monday, know that an alien has killed me and is wearing my skin as a disguise.
Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday?
She wished The Weeknd was longer.
Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.
Sounds like my momma. She always saw the good in people. Very very few she didn't like.
Roses are red, Mondays are hard. I’m not good at poetry. COFFEE.
Do Monday Memes Really Help?
Even those people who don’t really mind Mondays or even—gasp!—are looking forward to them (if you’re one of these people, share your secret) find Monday memes funny. And everyone knows that a good laugh can help reduce stress and make life more enjoyable. That’s why we probably won’t be exaggerating too much when we say that a good Monday morning meme or joke can straight-up save lives. Don’t believe it? Keep scrolling for more Monday jokes!
"Uggggghh...... another Monday is near. All I look forward to anymore is laying down and relaxing on the couch after a long day of sitting upright and being tense on the couch."
"I'm financially set for life... providing I die next Monday."
Everybody has their favorite villain. Monday is mine.
Dear Monday, go step on a lego.
It’s Feb. 14th. Happy Valentine’s Day to all those in love and happy Monday to all those who are married.
Always true, I talk to co workers about valentines day and anyone who's just in a relationship is all happy and sending flowers, and everyone who's married is just eh whatever were gonna order out tonight instead of cooking lol
If Monday were shoes, they'd be crocs.
"If every day is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays. Store credit will do, I’ll exchange it for another Saturday."
The only thing worse than Friday the 13th is Monday the 13th. It’s a much spookier day.
If Monday had a face, I would punch it. Punch it all the way into next week.
"I really need a day in-between Sunday and Monday. Make every weekend a three-day weekend and Mondays won’t seem so bad."
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, I blinked, Monday. The weekend goes by way too fast.
"Hello Monday, can I ask you a question? Why are you always back so quickly? Do you not have a hobby? Monday really needs something to keep itself busy so we don’t have to see it."
Even more silly Monday jokes, Monday memes for work, and all different kinds of cool jokes dedicated to it are waiting for you, just a morsel down below. Once you are down there and have read each and every one of the Monday jokes, vote for the one that has reverberated through your soul and uplifted your spirits at least a tiny bit. Also, don’t forget to share these clever jokes with anyone bearing the heavy load of a Monday!
What do you call Monday's without any Zoom meetings?
Meetless Monday's.
For everyone in the working world today: It's a Tuesday... which is like a Monday but with steel-toed boots and a slightly lower aim.
"I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Monday… but don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day. Once 4 o’clock hits on Sunday, you know there is no escaping what’s coming next."
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Imagine if we had two Mondays every week!
"I thought about wishing you a 'Happy Monday!' but that's like saying 'enjoy your root canal.'"
If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
Look on the bright side, at least Mondays only happen once a week. Once a week is more than enough.
Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week?
He had been Monday laundering!
What did the cashew say on Monday morning?
Monday always drives me nuts!
Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday?
He was feeling rotten!
Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday?
He was up-beet!
In a calendar, Monday comes before Sunday. But when does Monday come before Sunday?
In the dictionary!
I believe it was supposed to be "On a calendar, Sunday comes before Monday, but where does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary!"
If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday?
The horse’s name was Monday!
What’s the best advice for getting through the start of the work week?
Just take it Mon-day at a time!
It appears we have reached that day once again where all the Irish people get drunk and start fights tonight and skip work tomorrow.
Monday.
In the sentence: “I love Monday”, the guy is crazy, retired, or on vacation.
Even if Monday and Thursday switched places, I would still hate Monday.
Happy Monday. Don’t worry, Friday is (almost) coming.
Sunday and Monday are in a fight. Who wins?
Sunday.
Monday is a weekday.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring. No one would ever want to watch it.
A rainy Friday is still better than a sunny Monday… having wet shoes leaving the office on a Friday is better than having dry shoes walking into the office on a Monday.
Did you hear about the African who loved Monday mornings?
He was a Monday morning kinda Gueye.
Why do employees get discouraged after 6 months on the job?
After 24 weeks, they have a case of the Mondays!
Monday should be optional.
"I like Tuesday simply because it is the furthest from next Monday it can possibly be."
Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday?
They got all of the trick questions right!
How do you make time go fast on Monday?
Throw a clock!
Why couldn't the ghost leave school on Monday?
He was the school spirit!
What did the cyclops say when he was told to wake up for school on Monday morning?
Eye don’t want to get up!
On what day do ghosts do their howling?
Moan-day!
What is the best way to describe Monday?
Monday-ne!
"Hello Monday, can I ask you a question? You’re always in a hurry to come back, don’t you think it would be lovely if you got a hobby?"
Did you hear about the lady with chronic laryngitis who always wished everyone a happy Monday?
She did it weakly!
Chronic laryngitis is like lungs not working right, as in bad stuff getting in.
What’s the best time to get a discount on robotic parts?
Cyborg Monday!
What’s the best day of the week for NASA to launch a rocket?
Moon-day!
No... not Monday... you are going to crash the rocket... No! Don't go!
What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week?
Monday morning quarterbacks…
Why do fishermen catch barramundi on a Monday?
Because if they caught it a day later, they would have to call it barratuesdi.
Just once I want to wake up on Monday morning, turn on the news, and hear: "Monday's been canceled go back to bed."
How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings?
Have a goud-a week!
There's a Friday for every Monday.
Have a great week.
"Hello, I'm Monday I will be with you all day long"
