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“Men Writing Women”: 30 Times Male Authors Wrote Female Characters So Poorly, It’s Almost Like They’ve Never Met A Woman Before (New Pics)
Writing a captivating piece takes way more than putting pen to paper. The author spends countless hours developing the plot, writing and rewriting it, crossing out hundreds of unnecessary lines, and doing the research—lots and lots of it. Some writers could work more on the two, wiping out some of the information or researching it better. Otherwise, they might end up being shamed for some of their inaccurate, unrealistic, or plain foolish lines. As these male writers depicting female characters did.
The subreddit “Men Writing Women” is dedicated, as the description suggests, to “how men who create films, books, TV, and graphic novels characterize women”. Members of the community clearly don’t shy away from sharing their finds, and we have gathered some of their best examples into this list today. If you feel like it’s too short, check out our previous pieces about “Men Writing Women” here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
Who Doesn't Love To Bleed And Writhe In Pain Once A Month?
If anything, I look forward to celebrating that I'm not pregnant, and then hate the other 99% of it.
Jane Goodall Should Just Go Ape S*it
I can show you something motherly and nurturing *starts regurgitating what was food once*
“Let Them Puppies Free!”
as a woman, me writing: "These stupid irritating blobs on my chest that swell every 28 days, hurt for 3-5, mean I need two whole different sets of bras, that do nothing all day..."
A Jack of all trades is a master of none, they say. That rings true, as there’s hardly a person who knows the ins and outs of every subject out there. And writers are no exception; no matter how well-read they are, writing about specific topics usually requires specific knowledge, which they might not have.
Similarly, writing about certain groups of people calls for knowing what they might be like. Or the basics of their anatomy, at least, if that’s what’s important for the story. Otherwise, you might end up sounding ludicrous to those who have a better understanding of the topic, not to mention the experts.
[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off
![[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/2-643e9733c3571__700.jpg "[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off")
There is so much wrong with this I can't even begin to.... but deburgeoned....I.... what??? You're certainly not Shakespeare mate, you can't just put a "de" in front of something to make a new word.
What Else Could A Woman Want After Coming Out Of A Coma? Beyond The Darkness (1979)
Grammar Factory suggested a rule of thumb for doing enough research for your writing. According to them, you should analyze it enough to be able to write your first draft with no holes, without it becoming a reason to put off the writing process itself.
In his book, ‘On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft’, Steven King pointed out that even though the research shouldn’t outshine the story itself (well, unless it’s a research paper you’re working on), it’s crucial for fixing any possible errors in the story and adding some credible details.
Scientology, A New Slant On Life - By L. Ron Hubbard (1965)
As if Scientology is the only misogynistic religion out there. Every major religion on this planet is male based, that's a big problem by itself.
Til That I, A Virgin, Have At Least One Kid. (Once Gone, By Blake Pierce)
I’d Like To Imagine This Was Done For The Male Characters As Well
"Annabelle...brown eyes, E cup... Lauren...blue eyes, S cup... Katherine... hazel eyes, Z cup-OKAY WHY IS THIS GUY SO F*****G HORNY"
In order to avoid sounding foolish, you can always turn for help to experts or outside sources that are brimming with factual information. Grammar Factory emphasized just that by suggesting using books, the internet, or expert interviews as ways of researching information for your book.
In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]
![In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433e1fd13d84_r0dmz7dryqv81__700.jpg "In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]")
My friend did die, I'm ashamed to admit I never mourned the loss of her breasts. But seriously what kind of garbage is this?
I’m Surprised No One Has Posted This Guy Yet?? From Jpod By Douglas Coupland
How To Kiss A Girl…sure
Unless it’s total fiction you’re writing about, fact-checking is important. Certain claims made by authors can raise disputes, or have consequences bigger than being cited in a certain subreddit. The author Lisa Bickmore pointed out that when a writer wants to use factual material, it’s also crucial they find good, quality information. Not only that, it’s vital to present it in a way that’s understandable to the reader.
Women Have Useless Faces (A Happy Death By Camus)
(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse
![(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f2517c1cd_u3vib0etdp8a1__700.jpg "(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse")
The Amount Misogyny In This One Was A Bit Shocking. The Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke
Misogynists are in fact more popular among the weaker sex. Women, on the other hand, don't care for them at all.
Despite being important to the integrity of the piece, facts can be too much for some readers. Unless it’s a manual—in which case, you know what you’re getting yourself into as a reader—having to deal with an abundance of detailed information can get tiresome or even boring for the regular bookworm.
Hell's Angels By Hunter S Thompson. Men In The 1960s Just Understood Women, You Know?
There Are Many Different Types Of Arm Folds, I'm Glad Robert Cleared That Up For Me
Liana Finck, Women In Literature, 2022
Imagine a woman writing a story were male characters are minor characters only, whose pert testicles can be seen through their filmy underwear
In order to prevent the prospect of tiring out the reader, writers often turn to a more detailed, exciting way of writing. That in itself is not a bad idea at all; however, it’s important not to go overboard with such embellishments.
Some of the examples on this list, for instance, describe certain characters in a detailed way, which is simply incorrect. That’s when facts can turn against the writer, and make them the butt of the joke at times.
Ah Yes, The Kind Of Giggles That Spill From Your Breasts. Of Course The Girl Is “Just Turned 16” As Well. (Hospital By Han Song)
That Natural Womanly Instinct To Love Cooking (Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? By Philip K Dick)
"But Whatever" (The Night Shift, Alex Finlay)
Other examples in the “Men Write Women” collection portray women in a way that is not factually correct, nor amusing. They are often based on stereotypes, which can be offensive to some female representatives, or emphasize certain “truths” that not a lot of them would agree to, such as the “magnificent uselessness of a woman’s face”, for instance.
Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke
Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]
![Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f104017c3_fapqf407b1ma1__700.jpg "Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]")
Wow, misogyny and bodyshaming all in one! And something about children being pathetic as well
I’m Sorry, What?!? The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk
Certain views towards women in these snippets are not only displeasing but outdated as well. They often sound like something from the 19th century—the time when gender bias was so strong, some women authors chose to write under male pseudonyms. (George Eliot, who was actually Mary Ann Evans, or George Sand, a.k.a. Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, just to name a couple.)
Breast Roll By "It's Kind Of A Funny Story" By Ned Vizzini
Nod By Adrian Barnes
"A Fine Porch Door"... From The Stand By Stephen King
Post Apocalyptic theme...old "God fearing woman" is definitely going to be assessing baby making potential in young women. I give this one a pass.
I Feel Christopher Pike’s Spellbound Could Fit
Another out of context blurb. Cindy is one of two main characters in the novel. This blurb was taken from a longer section were Cindy is flirting with a guy she thinks murdered his friend to get info. Pike is actually praised for his accurate portrayal of teenagers and writing female characters (he was a YA author from the mid 80s)
Coast To Coast Murders, James Patterson
The Immortalists By Chloe Benjamin. A Genuinely Good Book With The Worst First Paragraph!
Go Home Everyone About To Post Stephen King. Alizee Yeezy Has Trumped All Of You
I’m sorry, he’s horrible simply because he MENTIONS boobs? I’m female and I’ve read every one of his books and I’ve never felt offended or that he’s sexist.
Poet Fundamentally Misunderstands Women
From The Pictorial 1952
Because This Is What A Female Psychologist Would Think When Dealing With A Paranoid Schizophrenic Violent Patient. Domain, Steve Alten
The River Between By Ngugi Wa Thiong'o
“Her Breasts Quivered With Excitement” Really??? (Sales Pitch By Philip K. Dick)
That's a weird tic - quivering boobs? Some kind of neurologic disorder?
Nietzsche Going At It (Beyond Good And Evil)
I Hate It When I Am Unfemininely Crisp And Therefore Less Attractive Than I Could Be To My Male Coworkers. (Brain Wave, Poul Anderson)
Hold on… crazy idea here… what if we dress up… for OURSELVES!
Many Thanks To Kobo Abe For Explaining The Female Condition In His Classic Novel ‘The Woman In The Dunes’
Why am I still reading these? My hackles are rising (not my breasts, sorry).
Women As Baby Producers... (Slaughterhouse Five By Kurt Vonnegut)
My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]
![My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f31aba738_62gkl4pt6f2a1__700.jpg "My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]")
Chuck Palahnuik- The Invention Of Sound
The High Auction By Misba (Literally The 2nd Page)
Did the character die and come back as a teen girl? It would explain.
Second Reference To Her Oversized Bazungas In As Many Paragraphs - Paternus By Dyrk Ashton
Arthur C Clarke - Rendezvous With Rama (1973). What Norton Says Here Is Really Stupid, But It Seems Like Clarke Knows This
This Makes Me Prefer Men Writing About Women's Breasts (Bellevue Square By Michael Redhill)
Asked A Text Ai (Link In Comments) To Write A Women Written By A Man
nah im concerned about two things: where all the snacks went, and HOW DOES SPIDERMAN END
"All Women Are Deeply Ashamed Of Their Periods." - Ross Anderson (Book Is Security Engineering, 2010)
Of course the author's actual evidence of this is non-existent. Maybe he is just projecting his embarrassment at once having to buy them on someone else's behalf
From Sartre's Nausea
We Can Remember It For You Wholesale (Total Recall) - Philip K. Dick. Aka: Sometimes Even Your Favourite Authors Fail
From "Carolina Moonset" By Matt Goldman. Where Did The Firehose Come From?
I feel like this one does not meet the thread subject of 'men barely understand women". This is just an author lampooning a particular type of woman who is overtly 'fake'. I've seen them IRL. Women with fake hair, fake nails, fake breast, fake tan and such to the point you wonder if you hosed off Mrs. Doubtfire you'd find Robin Williams underneath. It obviously is not describing most women but the creature being described does exist IRl.
The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III) By Stephen King
It’s Not Like I Expect Much From Certain Erotic Genres, But This Was Such Classic R/Menwritingwomen It Made Me Laugh. Mahoushi Teria To Tiken Na Iraisho By Mtd
“Cell” By Stephen King. You’re In A Zombie Apocalypse But You’re Worried About…what?
Again, this could be indicative of the character in the book, not the author.
We've all met "her", and been wildly annoyed by her.
Load More Replies... Alice Maxwell is a 15 yo kid with anxiety issues. In context (having read the book) the world is falling apart and she is freaking out. She can't control the world failing apart so she focuses on something petty. Having said that King is deff one of the better male writing female examples out there
Jared, that comment wasn’t really needed. This is a post about male authors portraying women, please think how your comment is sitting in this setting.
Load More Replies...
This is the most badly written book I have ever had the misfortune to read! It reads as if he knocked it up on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and he couldn’t be bothered to proof-read it. One of the dramatic sentences revealing the plot of the book was misspelt and it drove me crazy! I still can’t believe I finished it.
Oh The Humanity! From House Of Leaves, By Mark Danielewski
"Dogfight" By William Gibson And Michael Swanwick
‘Twitching By Numbers’ By Garry Bagnell, A Memoir Of His Anecdotes About Birdwatching, Published In This Very Year 2022. Insert Joke About Tits Here, But Seriously This Is Why Women Still Feel So Unwelcome In The Birding Community
I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]
![I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ef5d81816_VFDuQ1l__700.jpg "I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]")
Catch And Cradle By Katia Rose. Written By A Woman, But I Still Thought This Line Would Find A Place Here
One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]
![One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f121dbaec_7hun3ssyid991__700.jpg "One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]")
This Is How I Plan To Introduce Myself From Now On
Context matters for this one. It's been a long time since I read the book but IIRC she was a goddess with three forms - the young maiden, the middle age, the old lady. Zane had met her before but called her by the wrong name and she was explaining that ATM she was not that persona, she was the middle aged one. In the context of the book it made sense. "(Greek mythology) One of the three Fates (Moirae), daughter of Zeus and Themis; the measurer of each thread of life. Her Roman equivalent is Decima. "
Apparently The Protagonist Got All Of Her Talent From Her Dad, But Her Mother Gave Her Was 'Pluck' And "Tangerine Breast," From Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs And All
So women pass on physical attributes only and men mental ones, noted
“They Are Overwhelmed With Thinking And Doing…”
Another Andrew Tate disciple by the sounds of it. He runs a dating workshop too. I had a look at it and it has things like this (actual quotes): "This is for the woman that YEARNS to feel chosen, protected, safe, and cherished by a strong masculine man." and "This is for the man who wants to claim a woman who is soft, sensual, playful, and receptive to his gifts."
Coma By Robin Cook
Yes, I m always staring at my naked body in any mirror, I could have been a (clog) dancer...
Boobs Ahoy! The Heart Of Man-Jin Kalman Stefansson
[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification
![[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f1d1e1a24_zz3hr98wk9oa1-png__700.jpg "[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification")
This isn't fair if you actually know dune This is a conversion with an Imprinter. They were agents of a faction known as The Sisterhood. Imprinters were genetically altered women that used sex as a way to make men absolutely devoted to them (imprinting) so they could control them and further their own interest. Could be viewed as misogynistic or empowerment I suppose.
Thomas Jefferson To William Fleming, March 20, 1764, "11. O’clock At Night," Papers, 1:16
From “A Cornucopia Of Dunderheads” By John Kennedy Toole, Jr
Her Breasts Did What? The Cloud Sculptor Of Coral -D, By J.g.ballard
I Know This Is More Men Designing Women, But The Costume For The First Female Version Of Spider-Man Is… Something
How does the hood work? Is it attached to her cleavage? Or is she wearing a skinsuit over a spider-man outfit?
[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki
![[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433e18824e6a_e7g87edojmra1-png__700.jpg "[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki")
From The Rising Tide By Sam Lloyd. Anyone Got That Seal Skin Routine?
Stop associating stretch marks with pregnancy! Many people have them without ever being pregnant. I was pregnant once and have no stretch marks to show for it (the only reminder being that huge c-section scar). It all depends on your genes and how weak or strong your connective tissue is
What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]
![What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f2006d007_kl3a95d3v5ka1__700.jpg "What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]")
“Something Wicked This Way Comes” By Ray Bradbury. This Is A Lot Less Sinister Than Some Other Posts Here But Still! I Guess Only Men Get Existential Dread At 3 Am
Dear Charles, the trains run at 3 AM because those hours have the least amount of vehicle traffic to be held up waiting for trains to go past crossings. It's a logistics thing. The women and babes are asleep at 3 AM because they were up at 11 PM, 2 AM and will be up again around 5 or 6 AM. Let them try to get some sleep.
Stephen King - The Shining
To be honest, he's describing a walking corpse, and I can imagine how undead breasts could look like ancient punching bags.
Because Daughters Flirt With Their Fathers From Birth (Last Orders By Graham Swift)
This is at least the second entry with 'flirt'. TBF, flirting is not always sexual. In fact deinition it is not serious. I knew a little girl (she is a grandmother now) who absolutely did flirt with her dad even though she had no idea what sex was. Or another way to say it might be 'turning on the charm'. But when she wanted dad to say yes to something she would act all nice and bat her eyes and such. It was so obvious it was comical. I have known the family since before she was born and there was absolutely never anything sexual between them. In fact the dad is rather straight laced / shy / introvert. We laugh about it now and she admits she did it. I have no idea where she picked it up. EDIT: She reminded me a bit of Flower in the Bambi movie.
Is This Really The Best Description He Could Come Up With? (The Crimson Petal And The White By Michael Farber)
Will Haunt You By Brian Kirk. It Will Haunt You 🤢
Absolute Fanasty (American Gods - Neil Gaiman)
From The Duel, A Short Story By Kaiko Takeshi
Interesting… (Feed, M.t Anderson)
Men Writing… String Orchestra Instruments? (Setup And Repair Of The Double Bass For Optimum Sound By Chuck Traeger)
Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]
![Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f02711fa3_ydhKh7n__700.jpg "Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]")
Describing A Woman That Looks Good For “Breeding”, And Another Woman That Looks Like A Pastry, In The Same Paragraph - “Darkfall” By Dean Koontz
Considering How Many Girls Fall In Love With Horses At Age 6-8, This Creeps Me Out Bigly (The Diana Chronicles By Tina Brown)
Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]
![Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433eca7ef44b_j1q0x730ksd91-png__700.jpg "Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]")
Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]
![Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ec2b804ed_qqdwkysj98c91__700.jpg "Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]")
The Shape Of Water - Andrea Camilleri
That made me remember that scene in Star Wars in the trash compactor where that eye stalk pops up out of the water and looks around. Except now it's a nipple apparently. I'm pretty sure "miniscule panties" is what you call thongs when you are getting paid by the word.
I Wonder If The Author Ever Actually Talked To A Woman
I've seen similar things in a lot of trashy manga. Incel Otaku cliché ✅️check
This Man Need His Book Publishing Rights Taken Away
For The Lactose Intolerant Reader
He authors vegan cookbooks so I don't know if he is just taking the p*ss or if he really is obsessed with vegan cheese
Dear Juliet: Letters From The Lovestruck And Lovelorn To Shakespeare's Juliet In Verona - Giulio Tamassia
She’s Exhausted After Work, But Because She Senses Hubby Wants Sex, She Does Too. The Consultant By Bentley Little
To Contrast The Other Post About Nausicaa, Here's Hayao Miyazaki Discussing His Thoughts About Her Chest
I have seen the movie several times. Never thought of her breasts as large. Just googled still pics and there are a few where she looks a bit like a woman with larger breasts who dresses to minimize. In other scenes she does not look large at all IMO. But if you have never seen the movie, she is perhaps 'large' for Japanese but in no way is she a "Jessica Rabbit" kind of figure. For the most part, the only large breasts in Ghibli movies are the "old lady" characters. Granny/witch in Spirited Away and so on. Ghibli movies are about empowering women, not sexualizing them.
All Of This About Someone Else’s Wife 💀 (The Sympathizer By Viet Thanh Nguyen)
'He had a mind like a To-Do list, the spine of a daycare worker and the body of a high-school quarterback even after fathering 5 children.' Yeah, sounds ridiculous all right
The Croaning By Laird Barron. Ps: Anthropologists Dont Cry
No, that's not true. Take an anthropologist to see a really sad movie, they're going to cry-- especially if the dog dies. Everybody cries at a really sad movie if the dog dies.
[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh
![[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433eeff94eae_jybsr1nr8yx81__700.jpg "[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's \"Dream\" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh")
I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]
![I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ee11169a1_74wqhlvjcrpa1-png__700.jpg "I Burst Out Laughing At \"Inching Breastward\" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]")
"Childlike" -James Herbert, The Survivor. 😭🤮
Good Eve, Fair Females! After Reading That Sesquipedalianism Is Arousing, I Ask That You Please Form An Orderly Queue Instead Of Throwing Yourselves At Me. Perchance. (*a Dark Matter* By Peter Straub)
Absolute Power By David Baldacci
Ah damn, I accidentally released my breasts again and poured them on the street
Always About The Breasts. Home By Harlan Coben
Sister Talks About Her Brother’s Physique For Way Too Many Sentences, Arthur C Clarke In Songs Of Distant Earth
Wow Sounds Pretty Accurate (Naked By David Sedaris)
This is actually very accurate for some women of a certain age. My step mom was visiting my grandmother (pa-ma) in the rest home. She noticed something in her lap. She finally realized grandma didn't have a bra on and the something was the end of her breast protruding out under the bottom of her shirt. So yeah... orange in a windsock about nailed it.
Possession By A. S. Byatt - Watch Out, The Mean Feminists Boo Women With Nice Hair!
Yes, boo all women with hair! They all used shampoo, these devils
Almost Black By Vijay Chokalingam😟
Men Emojiing Women
Yeah, I always invite my three gay friends to party and celebrate I'm finally rid of an a*****e 🍾🍻
Ok I've Been Really Enjoying Finally Reading Initial D But What The F**k Is This
Typical manga plot. Kind of like 'why's there hay laying on the ground?'
I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]
![I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f3f40ffd7_dvjrksaiun791__700.jpg "I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]")
Going out in all but your bra and panties in Russia seems like a good idea
Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]
![Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f31fb6f42_MXfy2zo__700.jpg "Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]")
I didn't know I could cure my introversion by 'adjusting' myself sexually. Cool
Philip K. Dick Posthumously Published Work Gather Yourselves Together
[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies
![[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f23916336_ws2f9rq4gzd91-png__700.jpg "[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies")
The Stepford Wives, Ira Levin
A Necessary Detail (Peach Blossom Paradise By Ge Fei)
I hate it when that happens *sighs and proceeds to collect the breasts from all directions again*
Sightseeing By Rattawut Lapcharoensap
Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist' - Half Way Through And I'm Not Sure It'll Pass The Bechdel Test
"Sturdy Nipples" In The Erstwhile By B. Catling
Exerpt From Champion Of Luck By Charles Kirkman: A Harem Comedy Based On Japanese Mythology, Anime, And Videogames
*strongly refrains from typing 'cute, testicular, raven haired boy'*
This Is The Main Character Mitchell Talking About His Nine Year Old Daughter. I'm Concerned. (Me And Mrs. Jones By Linda Cajio)
I Don't Think That's Quite What "Glowing" Means... From "Little Bee" By Chris Cleave
No woman in her right mind would try to conceal her glowing skin with foundation. Hell, I'd be skipping with joy if my skin did something like that
*sigh* She Even Repeats It (Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair)
For context, this is only one frame of a full conversation. The full conversation continues: girl: I wonder if that's possible. Two of us are girls. *door opens after they push it* boy: it opened! girl: yeah, even with two girls here.
Killing Commendatore By Murakami Again… 12yos Do Not Ask Older Men About This…
Imagine writers using the word testicles as often as they do breasts.
[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts
![[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f14880ba2_9pbg14dk42791__700.jpg "[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts")
The Ice Twins By S. K. Tremayne. Did Not Realize The Author Was A Man Until I Made It To The End Of The First Page
My boobs must lead a double life. I've never seen them behave like these men describe them.
IKR?! Neither rolling in sync with my eyes, nor giggling - what a bummer! Unfortunately, I do not think that I could still get a refund on mine, guess their warranty expired when that patch of black fur started growing between my legs many moons ago... Alright, enough internet for me today - I'll gather my army of kitties and go to bed before I lose my last few braincells!
Load More Replies... TLDR: Breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts, women quite like rape, breasts, breasts, women talk too much, breasts, breasts, women are stupid, breasts, breasts, breasts.
Jo cut off her hair and sold it to buy her mother a train ticket to visit Jo's wounded father. See, woman can be more than boob stands.
Apparently you can’t like jiggly boobs and fat butts while knowing basic anatomy and that women and living human beings with brains and kidneys at the same time.
The worst are mystery and detective story writers who have been told by their publishers to include a sex scene in their next book. Totally unnecessary in the context of the story and best covered in one or two sentences only. Instead it expands to fill an entire chapter and serves only to demonstrate that the writer and the publisher are so locked into their world that neither has a clue on the whole subject of sex. Skip the chapter and it makes absolutely no impact on the story.
If women wrote about men the same way men wrote about women: His groin was on fire with the burning flames of a thousand splendid suns. His nipples were erect and his brow glistened with sweat and motor oil. His bulging and rippling muscles were about to burst out of his skin tight shirt that could no longer hold back the sign of his supreme manhood. His leg hairs blew gently in the warm summer breeze. When he opened his mouth to speak his glistening teeth were whiter than the winter's snow.
Couldn't finish.... Have these males ever encountered any females in real life? No. That or only with perv-o-version... Ugh. Brain needs shower.... Ew.
The absolute worst for me was The Cat Who Walks Through Walls by Robert Heinlein. The women in the book apparently only exist so their nipples can reflect their emotional state. I had to stop reading it.
And I am again reminded why it's been difficult for me to get started on some books that are 'highly recommended' ... certain authors (like Haruki Murakami, Hunter S. Thompson, etc.) - allegedly have written these 'must read' books... and I just find it... difficult.
If anyone wants to read a well developed female character written by a man then read Terry Pratchett. He writes flawed women, strong women, harsh women, sensible women, dumb women, independent women, talented women, smart women, clever women but most of all, doesn't mention their breasts. The women he wrote about really kicked some butt (some but what?).
It's interesting so many people were dismayed or angry. I thought these were hilarious and fascinating. Amazing how different minds work and view the world.
I think it was supposed to make us laugh ourselves silly at the ridiculous and ignorant men who write about women without them having a real clue. Some of them were laughable but others were just sick making and if I wasn't a feminist before I would be after reading this. I laughed but I'm also very pissed off.
Load More Replies... As forward-thinking as they'd like to imagine they are, English professors are the WORST sexists ever create. (And I'm not sure what to do with the fact that so many are women.) But if you ever look at critics' or professors' lists of greatest writers, there only a precious few women, and they almost all write about sexual liberation (by which they often mean giving into a lot of male-dominated kink). You might think there simply aren't many white female writers. But if you look at, say, a list of the 20th century's most popular authors, there are PLENTY of women.
The ease at which they are dismissed! JK Rowling? She hates transgenders! Lucy Maude Montgomery? Children's books! Margaret Mitchell? Racist! Harriett Beecher Stowe? Polemicist! Flannery O'Connor? Trad-rad Catholic! (which is SO ironic) Ayn Rand? Libertarian hate-mongerer (not untrue, but dayum, she knew how to write). Harper Lee? Sylvia Plath? One-hit wonders! Anne Rice? Mary Shelley? Horror isn't literature! Agatha Christie? Pulp fiction! Jane Austen? Classist!
Load More Replies...
I think it's too damn sad that there are so many items to this post.
I'm writing my first novel, and I'm worried (as a man) that I'm portraying my female characters inaccurately/innapropriately. However, after reading these extractions, I think I'm doing ok lol.
A lot of men write what they think we're going to say or do, etc...how about asking an actual question for her take on some life situations? Of course, some male writers just prefer to mansplain.
My boobs must lead a double life. I've never seen them behave like these men describe them.
IKR?! Neither rolling in sync with my eyes, nor giggling - what a bummer! Unfortunately, I do not think that I could still get a refund on mine, guess their warranty expired when that patch of black fur started growing between my legs many moons ago... Alright, enough internet for me today - I'll gather my army of kitties and go to bed before I lose my last few braincells!
Load More Replies... TLDR: Breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts, women quite like rape, breasts, breasts, women talk too much, breasts, breasts, women are stupid, breasts, breasts, breasts.
Jo cut off her hair and sold it to buy her mother a train ticket to visit Jo's wounded father. See, woman can be more than boob stands.
Apparently you can’t like jiggly boobs and fat butts while knowing basic anatomy and that women and living human beings with brains and kidneys at the same time.
The worst are mystery and detective story writers who have been told by their publishers to include a sex scene in their next book. Totally unnecessary in the context of the story and best covered in one or two sentences only. Instead it expands to fill an entire chapter and serves only to demonstrate that the writer and the publisher are so locked into their world that neither has a clue on the whole subject of sex. Skip the chapter and it makes absolutely no impact on the story.
If women wrote about men the same way men wrote about women: His groin was on fire with the burning flames of a thousand splendid suns. His nipples were erect and his brow glistened with sweat and motor oil. His bulging and rippling muscles were about to burst out of his skin tight shirt that could no longer hold back the sign of his supreme manhood. His leg hairs blew gently in the warm summer breeze. When he opened his mouth to speak his glistening teeth were whiter than the winter's snow.
Couldn't finish.... Have these males ever encountered any females in real life? No. That or only with perv-o-version... Ugh. Brain needs shower.... Ew.
The absolute worst for me was The Cat Who Walks Through Walls by Robert Heinlein. The women in the book apparently only exist so their nipples can reflect their emotional state. I had to stop reading it.
And I am again reminded why it's been difficult for me to get started on some books that are 'highly recommended' ... certain authors (like Haruki Murakami, Hunter S. Thompson, etc.) - allegedly have written these 'must read' books... and I just find it... difficult.
If anyone wants to read a well developed female character written by a man then read Terry Pratchett. He writes flawed women, strong women, harsh women, sensible women, dumb women, independent women, talented women, smart women, clever women but most of all, doesn't mention their breasts. The women he wrote about really kicked some butt (some but what?).
It's interesting so many people were dismayed or angry. I thought these were hilarious and fascinating. Amazing how different minds work and view the world.
I think it was supposed to make us laugh ourselves silly at the ridiculous and ignorant men who write about women without them having a real clue. Some of them were laughable but others were just sick making and if I wasn't a feminist before I would be after reading this. I laughed but I'm also very pissed off.
Load More Replies... As forward-thinking as they'd like to imagine they are, English professors are the WORST sexists ever create. (And I'm not sure what to do with the fact that so many are women.) But if you ever look at critics' or professors' lists of greatest writers, there only a precious few women, and they almost all write about sexual liberation (by which they often mean giving into a lot of male-dominated kink). You might think there simply aren't many white female writers. But if you look at, say, a list of the 20th century's most popular authors, there are PLENTY of women.
The ease at which they are dismissed! JK Rowling? She hates transgenders! Lucy Maude Montgomery? Children's books! Margaret Mitchell? Racist! Harriett Beecher Stowe? Polemicist! Flannery O'Connor? Trad-rad Catholic! (which is SO ironic) Ayn Rand? Libertarian hate-mongerer (not untrue, but dayum, she knew how to write). Harper Lee? Sylvia Plath? One-hit wonders! Anne Rice? Mary Shelley? Horror isn't literature! Agatha Christie? Pulp fiction! Jane Austen? Classist!
Load More Replies... I think it's too damn sad that there are so many items to this post.
I'm writing my first novel, and I'm worried (as a man) that I'm portraying my female characters inaccurately/innapropriately. However, after reading these extractions, I think I'm doing ok lol.
A lot of men write what they think we're going to say or do, etc...how about asking an actual question for her take on some life situations? Of course, some male writers just prefer to mansplain.
