There's also a wee label, much like the sign here sticker on a document. The man gets to keep this and wear it.

This is a well written bit of satire, with the perfect ending

“Can you ask the waiter for our bill?” “Don’t worry, my ass will do it”

Yes because everyone knows having sex changes your bone structure.

A throbbing jazz cafe sounds like a busy place where you probably have to wait ages for your coffee whilst listening to someone doing terrible amateur scat.

You know what else isn’t accurate? This passage

Hahahahaha! This is brilliant!

Sticking with the US state theme, she could be Virginia Jones.

Haha I can't stop picturing this gorgeous woman stumbling around hacking and half blind because she's got her eyelashes stuck in her mouth again while batting them at the no doubt unparalleled super manly main character. Haha oh man, it hurts. I can't stop laughing

Not ok so have so many lumps on your breasts. Go see a doctor.

"Oh noooo, not the thing keeping my vagina clean of infections and making sex enjoyable. How awful." *sarcasm ends*

I love the mental image of a man lordly standing in front of the porcelain throne, conjuring thunderous splashings of pee while mine has to find its way through the maze of my innards. He gets to majestically drown the rubber ducks - I have to pray my liquids don't take an internal wrong turn and end up in the nose.

well if we talking about jail...maybe

😂 someone's a boob guy

*slap* get up

In my eyes one of the least attractive men

This is obviously wrong as ladies pants dont have real back pockets

God forbid she could be smarter than the man.

This is disturbing. Makes me wonder how many rapists are convinced that their victims "love rape"?

So men think women's nipples show our mood like a dog's tail? gross

Poor men. always victims of their instincts

How does one purse one's nipples? Sounds like a cool party trick.

So... she's a virgin, but she's seen some things?

To be fair, bully terriers tend to be quite bouncy dogs...

Not even children escape having their breasts described, even if it's to point out their lack of said breasts. Like that's something normal people deliberately observe about a child.

Wtf? Cannibalism fetish erotica? That's the only thing that makes this description make any kind of sense. And even then...I need to go look at some cute puppy pictures to forget this post ever existed.

I've never understood why anyone would read the second sentence of anything Bukowski wrote.

Ah yes, another tragic loss in the age-old Battle of the Breasts, this time to those perfidious adversaries Age and Gravity. Will this world ever emerge victorious, with all women gloriously endowed with perfect figures? Or will men have to continue the nightmare existence of crying at the sight of a woman who is clearly having a Pretty Bad Day?

Not only is the description ridiculous, I would think for a musical casting director, voice should matter first and looks second.

How ridiculous. I can cook up similar nonsense in a swift. ”Chad had massive hangover. Not just from excessive drinking but he had made a total fool of himself in front everybody. His di*c was looking pale and wrinkly and his balls were pulsing from shame.’ Or ’she took a closer look at Andrew. He was late twenties but already his hair was thinning. He was tall and and had exactly 2.2 pounds extra weight but was oddly soft and pale like bag full of dough. His stance hinted he had only ejaculated in his hand for last 14 years and his eyes indicated that he had severe mommy issues.’