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Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.

Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.

From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!

Image credits: rabiasquared

#2

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Jontelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I can send my SO to the store with a list and he’ll STILL mess up somehow.

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Karri Berkowitz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out

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If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.

Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.

#4

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Strawberry Pizza
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.

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#6

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When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.

But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.

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#9

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner was the same with decoration. I put some paintings, pictures and plants in the house and he kept whining about how i "invaded his space". Now i took them all out because we are moving and he was like "now the house looks so much uglier". I know.

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"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."

He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”

#10

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Lady of the Mountains
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. This should be normalized. So many people unhappy w8th their arrangements-for what?

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Id row
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should do this when you get up before him. While he's sleeping in the morning, flop into bed with a bowl of cereal.

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Memere
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sleep divorce = separate bedrooms. I'm the night owl, husband goes to bed early. We've been together 24 years & had separate bedrooms for 20 of them. Still happy & "date nites" are FUN!

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Marina Rocha
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2 years ago

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Adults who eat cereal... doesn't surprise me that he is inconsiderate like a toddler

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Nandina
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Separate rooms. It's the only way. I've been doing this for about a year now. SO didn't take it well at first and will still whine a little bit. But I snore and sometimes don't sleep well and will read a book to take my mind off things. Both of us get a good night's sleep as a result.

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Adriaan Verhelle
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So now and then he sleeps with a mouth full of cereal gunk? Nasty!

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Kangaroo171994
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Lesa Honestly if my partner or if I had a husband like that; I wud totally do separate bedrooms where for me it has to be 100% Pitch Black for me to be able to fall asleep. I literally can't sleep with any light at all which includes minimal light too.

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Sarah Mathiason
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a talk, it's totally disrespectful of him to not at least try to be quiet. Maybe Ear plugs.

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Dominic Neu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The bowl of cereal part is the most amusing aspect of this.

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LivingTheDream
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

rude. I worked nights for years and tried to be as quiet as a ninja. I even bought a lit keyboard with silent keys so i wouldn't disturb her when I couldn't sleep.

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Isabella Heinrich
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just gently strangle him and place his body in a shallow grave. Hey its self defense

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bkIllinois
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ear plugs, white noise machine, mattress that doesn't move , separate sleeping rooms.

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Alana Voeks
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When you get ready for work in the morning, be as obnoxiously loud as possible. Most of the time it takes a taste of their own medicine before they get it

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Shy Right
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, Lesa is gonna suffocate him with one of those fluffed pillows!

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Kangaroo171994
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@Lesa In cases like this; this where Communication is Absolutely key. For example: Try asking him if he can be quieter or maybe ask him to like pre fluff his pillow if that's a thing. Let's say u go to bed at 10 PM and let's say he goes to bed at 1 AM, just ask if he'd be able to fluff his pillow when u go to bed and he wouldn't have to do it when he goes to sleep and wouldn't disturb ur sleep either. It's good to inform him to be able to work together and try ur guys's best to come up with a compromise. If no compromise is made which may be him possibly going to bed earlier (baby steps ofc)-then separate bedrooms wud prob be best for both of u since hopefully he wouldnt be disturbing ur sleep.

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Eb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cereal, when the most important person in his life is asleep already, is unforgivable.

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Rachel Betancort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have 2 seperate beds pushed together to give us the size of a king. He can move around all he wants and I don't feel it. I also change my sheets twice as often as I do his and doesn't care or even notice.

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MCathenaE
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Roll over" and flip the cereal out of his hands "on accident while asleep" May be messy, but maybe he will eventually learn?

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YoyoSthlm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eating in bed is really disrespectful. I would make him sleep on the sofa.

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Kyle Pierson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have to disagree here.... Having several hours to do whatever I want followed by a big bowl of cinnamon toast crunch at bed time sounds amazing.

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Bored Turtle Princess
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's amazing and perfectly acceptable as long as it doesn't bother someone else or ruin their sleep.

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Jenny Fullerton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Number one rule in my house about bedrooms , No Eating in the bedrooms! Only time I will allow it is if you are that sick you feel like you are dying and cannot get out of bed Then and only then is one allowed to eat in bed

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Jack Jackson
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2 years ago

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Yeah, I do the same thing but without the food. I keep telling her that I want my own bedroom, but she feels like she is being abandoned. Then I say, "Well, deal with it then."

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave it in the cabinet. Don't buy chips. "There's still a pack in the cupboard".

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Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.

"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.

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Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...

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Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."

"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"

After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.

#19

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Green Machine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)

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#20

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.

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Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t have a spoon anyway, you have a solid lump of tea stained sugar with a metal bit sticking out the top.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree on the basis that I HATE when people nix ideas without offering a suggestion. I'm not your hired "idea's person".

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Karen Tyas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”

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#28

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for op. That sounds like an awful partner

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree to disagree and adopt new pronounciation such as cow-poo to save your marriage.

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Belinda Matson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.

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#35

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"

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Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?

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#39

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DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So buy her a pair of her own. If she wants to wear the old ones, you wear the new ones.

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