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Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.

Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.

From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!

Image credits: rabiasquared

#2

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Jontelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I can send my SO to the store with a list and he’ll STILL mess up somehow.

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Karri Berkowitz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out

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If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.

Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.

#4

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Strawberry Pizza
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.

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When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.

But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner was the same with decoration. I put some paintings, pictures and plants in the house and he kept whining about how i "invaded his space". Now i took them all out because we are moving and he was like "now the house looks so much uglier". I know.

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"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."

He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave it in the cabinet. Don't buy chips. "There's still a pack in the cupboard".

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Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.

"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.

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Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...

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Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."

"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"

After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.

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Green Machine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.

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Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t have a spoon anyway, you have a solid lump of tea stained sugar with a metal bit sticking out the top.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree on the basis that I HATE when people nix ideas without offering a suggestion. I'm not your hired "idea's person".

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Karen Tyas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for op. That sounds like an awful partner

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Belinda Matson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce him. Then he'll be court ordered to spend at least every second weekend with his kids & he'll be super happy your "hobby" makes money.

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Heather Glomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce. Straight up. He's literally a part time roommate and only provides financial support for his kids. You're better off saving your time instead of nagging him to participate in parenting.

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Jacklyn Mehojah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Divorce? Don't stay together for children, ever. They see and hear s**t, make you happy so they can be happy. Best of all your way.

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HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I forced my parents to divorced. Stole my mother's car at 15 and told them I wouldn't be back until I had final papers in hand. I know your children are younger, but PLEASE children are better FROM a broken home than IN a broken home. And yes, my parents filed for divorce on the Monday after I left on Sunday night. Everyone was much happier. They should have divorced when I was 7.

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LagoonaBlueColleen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ooooh, hun,... This sounds like my ex. Works 12 hrs nights, 6 days a week. I can understand how tiring that is. However, even when he was between jobs or had a lot of time of, when he wasn't sleeping all day he was getting high with his friends in the garage and bitching about my min. wage job and being lazy for "just cleaning and taking care of our kid, and not doing "real" hard labour like he did." He never really liked to spend time with our child or even as a family. It was a terrible relationship and situation to be in. It had to end.

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Maisey Myles
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 'wasbund' was just like that until we were divorcing- then he became "Super Disneyland Dad"

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Erika PL
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s how my wasbund is now his mistress/fiancé is getting to know him 🤷🏻‍♀️ She’s getting tired of his antics. You wanted him girl! Keep him. You said I was a princess and that he did way too much for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Kevin Felton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This ain't a squeeze the toothpaste from the middle kinda fight. This is some serious go to counseling s**t.

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LaToya Mack
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you trying to be justify reasons why you should be divorced. Because baby you won

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shodokai
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ouch. Selfish man baby, makes one more kid to raise in the house.

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rumade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get a divorce. You're already a single parent from the sounds of it

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Jonathan West
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Traveling for work can be extremely tiring mentally and physically. I've done it.

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seeing as this is over 2 years old, hopefully they're not together anymore.

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Iseefractals
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He works full time and travels to do it. Which is exhausting, because when you're traveling for work, work is not a 9-5 endeavor. It's hours of travel, jet lag, plus more than a full day of hours plus work drinks or dinner after the fact, and calls back at the hotel. I'll say it again, it's exhausting. It's stressful. It's mentally and emotionally draining. As for the photography comment. Yeah maybe he's an AH....or maybe the OP is overstating things. If you spend 20 or 30 hours a week taking photos and the majority of that time is not paid....yeah that's a hobby that you sometimes monetize. If you're working full time as a photographer and being paid accordingly, yeah he's an AH for that, but it really depends on the reality of the situation.

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Anu Lesson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Taking care of kids and household are work and exhausting too. Never ever use the excuse 'he can't take care of his own kids, own meals and own house's cleanliness because he works to an outside employer'. The wife is not a maid or nanny, but an equal partner. And if she earns through photography, it is a job, even if it's one hour per week. Please don't partner up before you grasp this.

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Kelly Jo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Feel better after the venting? I think you may want to communicate with him and discuss options for you to be happy in your life.

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Alana Voeks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is why you date for longer than 2 years! You should have dumped his ass.

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Pamela Andrews
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What you're describing is not a cute minor issue, it's an abusive relationship.

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Julie Aaaa
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time to kick this one to the curb. He's just breathing your oxygen.

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Nadine G
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad was like that, 1st bit. My mom was basically a single mother. Never saw him growing up and when he was around, he'd be golfing or spending time with my brother only. My mom, sis and I rarely saw him. We're all grown up now, I haven't seen him in over a decade since just after my parents split up.

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Minnie-me
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm here for all of the angry women in these comments lol

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Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm... I think, I see a divorce in the near future. Lack of respect is the beginning of the end.

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Nolan Wolhart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well he is a pot head sounds like doing nothing is kind of their thing. I'm surprised he can even bring himself to works full time.

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Kimmarie Brando-Praesto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Listen, kiddo. Get up early in the morning and book it. Set alarm for 10 minutes after you’ve cleared the driveway. Don’t come home until bedtime.

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Post Indie rock
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How long did you date before deciding to marry? Perhaps too hasty in deciding to marry me thinks...

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J D
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do women keep trying with guys like this. Yet when a man is responsible and does his part he's nagged and expected to do even more

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Donna Any
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, u wake up on the day he's home an get the kids. And then leave. Do this every time he is home and he will feel left out. I did this and problem solved. Do not invite him. Watch what he does. Oh and don't forget to take pics. So the kids can brag. Pretty soon he will c what he's missing. Good luck!

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phil blanque
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OK..remember that most males are socialized to provide for their family, even if it means separation from the family. It is a duty we (most of us) share...and do not necessarily like....long hours, travel. But when they are at home and abandon their family...screw them!

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Steve
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2 years ago

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Gee, working nearly every darn day, where's the time to spend with the kids?

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Iifa A.
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2 years ago

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You got married and had children before knowing his career choice, work conditions or career fulfillment plans? Really?! You didn't discuss future where he would be away? Did you ask him what he wanted? Did he want to have a moaning stay at home photographer wife who on first seeing starts giving out you're tired. Living out of hotels, eating ready made foods or take outs, long travels to and back home for every weekend. And be welcomed by energetic children, and a moaning wife who has an attention deficit..... Get yourself a proper.hobbie, and be something more than mother and wife. You chose him, why? It's obvious your priorities don't align. I told my first fiance if he would.go to army we are done. He did go, and we broke up. I didn't support it, as I didn't want to be army wife at home.waiting for him and he might never return. You should always discuss children, finances, family time, career paths, dreams, worries, expectations before playing family.

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Ladyvischuss
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After all, whatever you discuss before marriage is carved in stone. Never to change, regardless of the situation.

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree to disagree and adopt new pronounciation such as cow-poo to save your marriage.

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Belinda Matson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"

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Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?

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DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So buy her a pair of her own. If she wants to wear the old ones, you wear the new ones.

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