50 Times Kids Hilariously Renamed Things And Made Them Sound Way Better

I’m going to start using “cheese crisis”.

Ours is Cheeze-its!

My son's "cheese rice" has morphed into "cheese whizz"!

Cheese crisis!

My 2 year-old granddaughter has at least one "cheese crisis!" a day.

I think waiters are used to it. Traveling in Germany for the first time my friend had no fear and spoke German even though he did not know any German two days ago. The waiter was quite smooth when my friend said (in surprisingly understandable German) "Waiter, you are a train track" (gleis). He wanted ice cream (glace). The waiter got it but without batting an eye still asked my friend what he wanted to eat.

My daughter called it p**s-on-ya

I used to know a guy who was a waiter, and the story I'll remember until I die is that he once walked up to a table just in time to hear somebody say "and I said, 'hey dad, can you help me put my condom on?' " Years later something brought that story up on a dive trip and an old guy on the boat said that back in the day scuba divers would put a condom on their hand or foot to keep salt water out if they had a cut, and it was really hard to put a condom on your own hand. That seems like a plausible explanation, and based on any other scenario I can come up with I'm hoping that's what it was about.

Meanwhile at the next table I'm scrambling to find that option on the lunch menu.

Watching my daughter order a "pasta fangool" in an Italian restaraunt instead of a pasta fazool (Pasta e Fagioli). I've never seen a waitress' face turn so red before trying not to crack up.

Sabbat-a-Nightfever, Nightfever, ...

And now that's how it's pronounced in my house.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is the best!!!

Tragedy, when the chutzpah's gone and you can't schlep on...

Well, one of the characters is called Tinkerbell, so....

Did Peter Pan pee her pants? That not like his pants? Anybody peed any pants at all? What's it all meant for, if nobody even peed her pants? And, whose pants to begin with? Why? Accidentally, purposefully? Why? How? Where? When? How much? Is the villain exchanged from Captain Hook to some asparagesque dude, then?

😂🤣

My 3-year-old kept asking me to sing "Blowing Trousers" and when I said I didn't know it, she started crying, saying that I did but just didn't want to sing it To try and soothe her I started singing "Little Boy Blue come blow up your horn" and then she sighed and said, you see? You DO know Blowing Trousers .

practicing for the teen years?

Teach her to say "...my Darling" to make it extra fancy

DI3! BY MY HAND! I CREEP ACROSS THE LAND! KIING FIRSTBORN MAN!

Laughed too hard at that

ngl that is a pretty accurate name too 😅

He's not wrong.

Until he starts school.

I love it!

It's accurate, so

That's adorable 😆

Oh I am so using that one

Accurate

My son used to have the cutest terms. My favorite was "packpack" until he started kindergarten and another child told him he was wrong, which broke my heart. We had made it through preschool and pre-k with no corrections (since, why would we....they'll learn eventually and it's cute lol)

Iceberg Lettuce is just crunchy water, so I get it.

My son did this with the F***troller from Thomas Tank......Fat Controller

DUMB F*CK! DUMB FU*K!

That IS an ugly word for a child but I understand. How old is he?