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All those in favor of renaming ‘cough drops’ to ‘medicine beans’ and ‘knives’ to ‘kitchen swords,’ raise your hands and say, ‘Aye!’ Some of the biggest advantages of being a kid include unlimited naptime, having little to no responsibilities, and being able to speak your mind. For example, when you don’t know a word, you simply unleash your imagination and work around it in the most creative way possible.

Kristen Mulrooney is an editor at the humor publication The Belladonna, and one of the most interesting humorists and parents you can follow on Twitter. Her anecdotes about her life as a mom-of-three are hilarious and relatable. Recently, she went viral after sharing how her 3-year-old daughter called cough drops ‘medicine beans,’ and inspired other parents to share their own stories about the creative workarounds their kids had for some words. Scroll down for their awesome tweets, and get ready to have a good giggle. Oh, and don’t forget to upvote your fave stories.

Bored Panda reached out to Kristen with a few questions about her post, how to help kids remain creative and confident as they start school, and what advice she'd give new parents if they're feeling overwhelmed by everything. Read on for the full interview!

This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has featured writer and satirist Kristen’s fun and witty Twitter threads. You’ll find our previous article about the Mystery of the Missing Apple Cores right over here

More info: Twitter | Instagram | KristenMulrooney.com

Image credits: missmulrooney

#1

Kids-Creative-Words

tracesthings Report

Emily M
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When i was little, i didn't know how to talk about something that happened in the past if it wasn't yesterday so i would use "a different day ago..."

Ember the Fire Bee
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember my younger sister asking for “Red meat worms” as a kid. It was spaghetti and meatballs.

David Harp
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those examples are great! At 20 months, My daughter was entranced to see her first Halloween jack-o’-lantern that we had carved. Complete with candle in it, of course. At the time, we had a gas stove. The next day, she went to it and told us: “Turn stove on in punquin”. It was her first complete and complicated sentence. We were not just amazed at the words themselves, but at the way she had Combined concepts and expressed herself so clearly! At 30, She is now a member of a combined Harvard and MIT think tank, working on Covid…

Professore CG
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When she was 3 years old my daughter came home from nursery school and was so excited to tell me she had seen a 'lamb puppy dog'. This was a fluffy poodle.

Christopher Seaton
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like this 3yo would be thrilled to learn that the word for the day after tomorrow is 'overmorrow'

Joel Warner
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stealing this for my own 44yo vocabulary!

Cheryl Gyles
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, it makes more sense...yesterday, today, and nexterday.

Natty Tempest
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is perfect for the day after tomorrow. The next day

AnnaRachelle
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My 2 year old started trying to say breakfast,it came out as bastard lol

Shawn Grogan
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I called tomorrow "tolater" and yesterday was "lasterday"

Liza BK
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine wanted more chicken broth and asked for more "soup drink"!

JoJo Anisko
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The word tomorrow contains three Os, and each one is pronounced differently. Gotta love rules of English.

Mercy Nyamundu
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My brother says lasterday, last time and yesterday combined.

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Bored Panda was incredibly curious to learn what went through Kristen's head when she first heard the term 'medicine beans.'

"I loved how confident my daughter was when she said it, and rightfully so because I knew exactly what she was talking about," Kristen, who runs the humor publication The Belladonna, shared with us.

"She's the youngest of my three children and I've spent the last five years watching these three little people acquiring language. It's so fascinating to see how they sort it all out and develop workarounds to manage the gaps in their communication."

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    #2

    Kids-Creative-Words

    addnoisestudios Report

    Lynne Bear Hugs
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg! As a non religious person, that made me laugh out loud. Very observant and just adorable!

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    #3

    Kids-Creative-Words

    CareyGercarey Report

    Robert T
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We call the bag/pouch for an umbrella an umbrelladom. :D

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    Meanwhile, one thing that we've noticed is that it's quite difficult to stay as courageous and creative as when we were kids. There seem to be so many things to worry about when you're a teenager or a grownup! We were curious about Kristen's approach when it comes to helping kids stay creative and confident, as they start attending school.

    "I'm a former teacher and I've surprised myself a little bit with my outlook on school as a parent—I'm finding I'm less concerned with good grades and more focused on my kids finding something that inspires them," she told Bored Panda.

    "My oldest is seven years old, which still seems so young, but it's the same age I was when I knew I wanted to be a writer. I try to take his interests seriously because they might be a huge part of the adult he grows into." That's the type of optimism and encouragement that we love to hear about. Have a think back to when you were around that age, dear Pandas. What did you want to do back then? (And, perhaps slightly less importantly, do you think it's too late for yours truly to become an intergalactic astronaut?)

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    #4

    Kids-Creative-Words

    JimbobTweetin Report

    Sue Lynn Chan
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those who are in favor of rename it to kitchen sword, please raise your hand ✋

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    #5

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    jasonmicahross Report

    ᶜʰᵃᵒᵗⁱᶜ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "here I was riding a horse, with a lion and a tiger on my heels!" "What did you do!?" "Hung on for dear life until the merry go round stopped!"

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    #6

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    deedledood Report

    Finally, we were interested in Kristen's advice for new parents who might be struggling with everything and might think they have no clue what they're doing. Feeling overwhelmed, however, is something that most parents face.

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    "I hope all new parents understand that the rest of us are overwhelmed, struggling, and clueless too. The hardest thing for me was feeling like there was something wrong with me because everyone else seemed like they had it together. I write about parenthood because when I was a new parent, it helped me so much to understand that it isn't easy for anyone. And it becomes a lot easier when you give yourself a break," Kristen explained to us.

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    Writer Kristen’s thread was a wild success. At the time of writing, her post had gotten over 1.6 million views and more than 48.4k likes on the social media platform. But the numbers, though they’re very impressive, are just the icing (aka ‘Christmas glue’) on the cake.

    The real victory was getting all of the other parents to open up about their own lives and share stories about their family life. The words and phrases that these parents’ kids use to describe the things that they have no clue what they’re called are beyond hilarious.

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    #8

    Kids-Creative-Words

    canadasaurus Report

    We fully support the idea that there should be a petition to allow for a bit of flexibility in how we speak. For example, we’d love to talk about ‘nexterday’ instead of ‘tomorrow.’ Why call someone ‘bald’ when you can go for the charmingly elegant ‘spoon-headed’? And who needs a knife and fork at the dinner table when you can ask for a fork and a ‘kitchen sword’?

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    These are all brilliant names for things, and we wish that this sort of verbal playfulness would be a tad more widespread at schools, universities, and workplaces around the world. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that inspires people to start writing and creating. And we need more of it in real life.

    The last time that Bored Panda reached out to Kristen, we had a chat about writing high-quality, humorous content on Twitter and how parents can get their children to eat something new.

    "I'm an editor for humor publication The Belladonna and I always tell our writers that the secret to quality humor is being super specific and super universal at the same time," she explained to us that writing in a relatable way is what’s important.

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    #12

    Kids-Creative-Words

    JulieD_ON Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ice is thicker than frost, but frosting is thicker than icing... 🤔🤔

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    "I think that's especially true for tweets. If you can paint the funny scene, that's great, but it really takes off when people can relate to it and have their own funny scene they're eager to share, too,” Kristen shared some great advice for anyone who hopes to stand out on Twitter with their comedic posts.

    #13

    Kids-Creative-Words

    jesuischoyee Report

    Mr. L
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents called pierogies "potato pockets" because I didn't like pierogies, but potato pockets were heaven. When I was like 6 they told me the truth.

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    #14

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    LeaAnn28 Report

    GoGoPDX
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son would say "I want to wear my tummy" for when he didn't want to wear a shirt. We still use it to this day!.

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    #15

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    MarkMendola Report

    Kitty Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a very similar conversation once. Friend's 3 year-old looking for My Little Pony episodes on YouTube: I want the boo boo bed! My friend: What? Me: She wants the one where Rainbow Dash breaks her wing and goes to the hospital. *clicks episode* 3 year-old: Yay! Friend: I never would have figured that out.

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    The mom told Bored Panda that two ways that parents can get their kids to try out new foods are ‘bribing’ them and making things as playful as possible.

    "My three kids take some convincing with vegetables, but they'll fall for the 'you're a dinosaur and this broccoli is a tree' bit every time," she shared with us during an earlier interview (and we hope all of you Panda Parents are taking notes—the broccoli/tree tactic really works).

    "Asparagus is an easy one because I can turn it into a science experiment. They'll shovel asparagus into their mouths after I tell them it makes your pee smell funny,” the mom joked.

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    #16

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    nurseange75 Report

    Minnie Not Mouse
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, I vote this for the offical name. Makes perfect sense

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    #17

    Kids-Creative-Words

    5sosbuckethatm Report

    Samantha Lofgren
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My niece does this too! "Yesterday, when i was a baby..." and then she tells the wildest stories you've ever heard.

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    Kristen is based in a small town near Boston. She is the winner of the 2022 Erma Bombeck Humorist-in-Residence program, and her writing has been featured in a wide range of publications, including The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, House Beautiful, The Weekly Humorist, Popular Science, and elsewhere.

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    She has also co-written Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook, and her writing has appeared in the anthology Embrace the Merciless Joy: The McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Guide to Rearing Small, Medium, and Large Children.

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    #19

    Kids-Creative-Words

    modernmaryjane1 Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then, knowing small children, threw a fit when you didn't understand.

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    #20

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    RetkaGWD Report

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking at the music menu via monocle: I say, the Bach Special looks especially scrumptious but I'm really in the mood for the Beethoven Combo. Bloody decisions...! XP

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    One of the best things about parenting tweets is that they show the wide range of ups and downs of family life: there are numerous challenges when raising a child, but all of the funny and wholesome moments more than make up for it.

    However, some parents fall into the trap of thinking that they need to be ‘perfect.’ Already exhausted from ‘regular’ parenting, they overwhelm themselves further by putting a lot of additional stress on their shoulders, worried that their children might be ‘lagging behind’ everyone else’s. Whether that’s in terms of education or skills.

    #22

    Kids-Creative-Words

    MVSBaltimore Report

    les
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    in scotland calling someone a spoon means they're an idiot that cant be trusted with a knife or fork

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    As we’ve covered on Bored Panda some time ago, this desire for ‘perfection’ and total control can backfire quite a bit. Not just for the parents, but for their kids, too.

    A childhood independence expert explained to us a while back that it’s a mistake for parents to try to protect their munchkins from ever feeling uncomfortable, frustrated, lonely, or scared. If they do this, their toddlers may grow up to be completely unprepared to deal with the challenges that real life throws at them. They might not be able to handle the unpleasant surprises they’ll have to deal with at school, work, and in other parts of their lives.

    #25

    Kids-Creative-Words

    susannamac_su Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean it's not as bad as little me calling an octopus' tentacles testic... you know what you get the gyst

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    #26

    Kids-Creative-Words

    HappinessAustin Report

    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my god, when I was younger I was told that the word for people who couldn’t speak was “dumb”. I was reading Harry Potter at the time and came across the word “dumbstruck” so it made sense. But I was quickly corrected that it was actually mute when I was watching tv with my cousins and someone was speaking sign language, so I pointed at them and loudly proclaimed, “Hey, that person is dumb!” 😳😳. It’s a funny family memory now but at the time my parents were mortified!!

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    As such, one of the best things that families can do is to encourage kids to be independent, confident, and resilient. You still love them and give them all the support that they need. However, you don’t rush to their aid the moment things get just a tiny bit tough for them.

    #29

    Kids-Creative-Words

    keyofB_Platt Report

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    #30

    Kids-Creative-Words

    SRCornhead Report

    Julie Bradley
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son couldn't pronounce it, he called them wass dips

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    Which of these word workarounds made you laugh the most, Pandas? Were there any phrases that you'd prefer to use instead of the real names that people call things? What alternative names have your own children come up with for various things? We'd love to hear from you, so share your thoughts in the comments!

    #31

    Kids-Creative-Words

    mmoore1851 Report

    Ginger Ghost
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    a genius, the technical term is "by word of mouth" so found out by ear is close

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    #33

    Kids-Creative-Words

    andrea_r Report

    dotti calhoun
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was about 3, I asked my dad what a boy cheese sandwich tasted like because all I'd eaten were girl cheese sandwiches. My dad actually did a spit take with his beer!

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    #34

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    JoanRob22255664 Report

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    #35

    Kids-Creative-Words

    ElleRen31 Report

    #36

    Kids-Creative-Words

    allcopymel Report

    A_Cat_To_The_Past
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are all like informal dictionary definitions

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    #37

    Kids-Creative-Words

    caitlinnews Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of when I used to like the imagine dragons song Radioactive but I would say "Videowacktoo!" Im not making that up

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    #38

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    stacie_burrows Report

    waddles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that’s way better than me i silently named it “breakfast puke” because once i threw up something with a remarkable resemblance to breakfast puke

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    #39

    Kids-Creative-Words

    SQURRELY1 Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My youngest son didn't call the reflex hammer anything but thought the doctor was cool when he used it on him. He came back home and made him a card thanking him for being SO cool, which was on the wall of fame for as long as we went there (~15 years).

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    #40

    Kids-Creative-Words

    clairedloon Report

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    #41

    Kids-Creative-Words

    melissatyndall Report

    waddles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “girl you look like a SNACK in that dress”

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    #43

    Kids-Creative-Words

    k1k1waltz Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't want to is part of my vocabulary now! I can't want to exercise!

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    #44

    Kids-Creative-Words

    ncsupimaster Report

    Cal the dragon (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because it's not. That's why I'll never convince you.

    #46

    Kids-Creative-Words

    DeVriesSteven Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess you could just wait until they learn to read

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    #47

    Kids-Creative-Words

    chipoodler Report

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    #48

    Kids-Creative-Words

    loganzinman Report

    Julie Ann Al buzbeba
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter used to call blueberries TICKS....I can't eat blueberries anymore...

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    #49

    Kids-Creative-Words

    RoxMpls Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did this make me a little sad? She couldn't touch the sky wall! 😥

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    #50

    Kids-Creative-Words

    disasterballet Report

    Kitty Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew a preschooler who said "Whobody wants [food]?" Instead of "Who wants" or "Does anybody want". It was the cutest darn thing, and now I like to like to ask my cats "Whobody wants breakfast?"

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    #51

    Kids-Creative-Words

    QuinnXtine Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After doing that you drop them back off at their dorms, right?

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    #52

    Kids-Creative-Words

    BTSMamaFan1 Report

    #53

    Kids-Creative-Alternative-Word-Workarounds

    kelly_fortney Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yet again, me trying to contain a dark joke. (oooo ill be an obnoxious youtuber) BuT iF tHiS cOmMeNt GeTs 50 LiKeS I'lL dO iT

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    #54

    Kids-Creative-Words

    hellyeahdoilies Report

    Kitty Kat
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More accurate. They are not just for smacking flies.

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    #56

    Kids-Creative-Words

    PatriciaMunn604 Report

    Ches Yamada
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Appropriate avatar there. But really, I'm not a fan of this "teehee I drink a lot!" trend. Why isn't it okay for me to say "ha ha, I eat to cope" but it's fun and hip to be like "momma needs her happy juice"

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    #58

    Kids-Creative-Words

    kmacncheesy Report

    ISeeWendiGo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I worked with a 29 year old woman that called cul-de-sacs the culture sacs. She also would order "puh-sketti" when our boss would take us to Olive Garden for lunch at times.

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    #60

    Kids-Creative-Words

    SuprKillrRobots Report

    #61

    Kids-Creative-Words

    RebeccaMarieT Report

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could have said eye curtains. 😉

    #62

    Kids-Creative-Words

    Monica38310944 Report

    waddles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i thought a skunk hole was a VERY DIFFERENT THING

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    #63

    Kids-Creative-Words

    BernardFT Report

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    #64

    Kids-Creative-Words

    Brian_Eastwood Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because that has a very milky consistency yes

    #65

    Kids-Creative-Words

    MariaZJohnson Report

    JoJo Anisko
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of similar to "called it in".

    #66

    Kids-Creative-Words

    annie_mel_farm Report

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    #67

    Kids-Creative-Words

    InOtterNews Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You would absolutely have to go and look wouldn't you

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    #68

    Kids-Creative-Words

    betzfrits Report

    Hotdogking
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be worse. After watching Star Wars for the first time when I was 4, my mum showed it to me when I was home sick, I called Life savers (those orange rings you find on beaches or by lakes) Life Sabers for ages before I figured out what it really was

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    #69

    Kids-Creative-Words

    jessicaraerae Report

    V33333P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an adult I forgot the word for soda water (which I don't like) and went with "white noise drink"

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    #70

    Kids-Creative-Words

    amylhrock Report

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    #71

    Kids-Creative-Words

    Twiggyanajones Report

    waddles
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    quite an accurate description for fashionable harbingers of agony

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    #75

    Kids-Creative-Words

    Redgmac Report

    Betta Fish
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to say peni- (Don't dislike bot me I'm not kidding they had to teach me the real word after I did it in public)

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