40 Times Toddlers Didn’t Know The Word For Something But Came Up With Their Own Hilarious Name For It
InterviewAll those in favor of renaming ‘cough drops’ to ‘medicine beans’ and ‘knives’ to ‘kitchen swords,’ raise your hands and say, ‘Aye!’ Some of the biggest advantages of being a kid include unlimited naptime, having little to no responsibilities, and being able to speak your mind. For example, when you don’t know a word, you simply unleash your imagination and work around it in the most creative way possible.
Kristen Mulrooney is an editor at the humor publication The Belladonna, and one of the most interesting humorists and parents you can follow on Twitter. Her anecdotes about her life as a mom-of-three are hilarious and relatable. Recently, she went viral after sharing how her 3-year-old daughter called cough drops ‘medicine beans,’ and inspired other parents to share their own stories about the creative workarounds their kids had for some words. Scroll down for their awesome tweets, and get ready to have a good giggle. Oh, and don’t forget to upvote your fave stories.
Bored Panda reached out to Kristen with a few questions about her post, how to help kids remain creative and confident as they start school, and what advice she'd give new parents if they're feeling overwhelmed by everything. Read on for the full interview!
This isn’t the first time that Bored Panda has featured writer and satirist Kristen’s fun and witty Twitter threads. You’ll find our previous article about the Mystery of the Missing Apple Cores right over here.
More info: Twitter | Instagram | KristenMulrooney.com

Image credits: missmulrooney
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I remember my younger sister asking for “Red meat worms” as a kid. It was spaghetti and meatballs.
Those examples are great! At 20 months, My daughter was entranced to see her first Halloween jack-o’-lantern that we had carved. Complete with candle in it, of course. At the time, we had a gas stove. The next day, she went to it and told us: “Turn stove on in punquin”. It was her first complete and complicated sentence. We were not just amazed at the words themselves, but at the way she had Combined concepts and expressed herself so clearly! At 30, She is now a member of a combined Harvard and MIT think tank, working on Covid…
When she was 3 years old my daughter came home from nursery school and was so excited to tell me she had seen a 'lamb puppy dog'. This was a fluffy poodle.
I feel like this 3yo would be thrilled to learn that the word for the day after tomorrow is 'overmorrow'
Bored Panda was incredibly curious to learn what went through Kristen's head when she first heard the term 'medicine beans.'
"I loved how confident my daughter was when she said it, and rightfully so because I knew exactly what she was talking about," Kristen, who runs the humor publication The Belladonna, shared with us.
"She's the youngest of my three children and I've spent the last five years watching these three little people acquiring language. It's so fascinating to see how they sort it all out and develop workarounds to manage the gaps in their communication."
Omg! As a non religious person, that made me laugh out loud. Very observant and just adorable!
A Christian just laughed so hard her cat was startled.
Load More Replies...We call it Regenschirm and Sonnenschirm. Schirm is both. It's not too far off :-)
French parasol, Italian parasole: para- (“to shield”) + sole (“sun”)
Meanwhile, one thing that we've noticed is that it's quite difficult to stay as courageous and creative as when we were kids. There seem to be so many things to worry about when you're a teenager or a grownup! We were curious about Kristen's approach when it comes to helping kids stay creative and confident, as they start attending school.
"I'm a former teacher and I've surprised myself a little bit with my outlook on school as a parent—I'm finding I'm less concerned with good grades and more focused on my kids finding something that inspires them," she told Bored Panda.
"My oldest is seven years old, which still seems so young, but it's the same age I was when I knew I wanted to be a writer. I try to take his interests seriously because they might be a huge part of the adult he grows into." That's the type of optimism and encouragement that we love to hear about. Have a think back to when you were around that age, dear Pandas. What did you want to do back then? (And, perhaps slightly less importantly, do you think it's too late for yours truly to become an intergalactic astronaut?)
Those who are in favor of rename it to kitchen sword, please raise your hand ✋
*tries in vain to raise tiny flipper but blobby body makes it impossible*
Load More Replies...The Japanese take on the Western chef's knife, the gyuto, can be loosely translated to "beef sword", as "刀" (tō) means both sword and knife.
Okay, I'm renaming the cook's knife in my kitchen as the Kitchen Axe as of now XD
He shall slay all foul beasts that shall enter thy kitchen...
"here I was riding a horse, with a lion and a tiger on my heels!" "What did you do!?" "Hung on for dear life until the merry go round stopped!"
Oh look at little Jimmy riding the... oh lord it's a horse tornado
🎼🎶Bam, bam, bam, another person eating dirt, bam, bam bam, another person eating dirt….🎶
My 3yr old asked why the man's food was being taken away. She heard Paul Young's Every Time You Go Away and heard it as "you take a piece of meat with you." I'm still laughing.
Don't let her hear "I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down"! Probably. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiJWXjz1uks&themeRefresh=1
Load More Replies...That's so funny! My youngest used to refer to a particular Rammstein album she likes as "the cd with the scary dude on".
I used to walk around my grandparents farm singing this with a wooden spoon as my microphone!!!!
Finally, we were interested in Kristen's advice for new parents who might be struggling with everything and might think they have no clue what they're doing. Feeling overwhelmed, however, is something that most parents face.
"I hope all new parents understand that the rest of us are overwhelmed, struggling, and clueless too. The hardest thing for me was feeling like there was something wrong with me because everyone else seemed like they had it together. I write about parenthood because when I was a new parent, it helped me so much to understand that it isn't easy for anyone. And it becomes a lot easier when you give yourself a break," Kristen explained to us.
Writer Kristen’s thread was a wild success. At the time of writing, her post had gotten over 1.6 million views and more than 48.4k likes on the social media platform. But the numbers, though they’re very impressive, are just the icing (aka ‘Christmas glue’) on the cake.
The real victory was getting all of the other parents to open up about their own lives and share stories about their family life. The words and phrases that these parents’ kids use to describe the things that they have no clue what they’re called are beyond hilarious.
Strange coincidence I refer to my period as my demon, for example “I was unprepared when the demon came again, stronger than ever”
Load More Replies...My daughter was about 3 or 4 and kept asking for a Teppy. We eventually asked her to show us what a Teppy is. A Pepsi she wanted and indeed was given a Pepsi. Not surprising as chocolate donuts and Pepsi were all that I craved while pregnant with her.
When I was little my brother and I would play pirate with the little cardboard telescopes we found in the bathroom trash. We used them as spyglasses. My mom was horrified when she discovered what we were doing. I was horrified about seven years later when I finally learned where those cardboard telescopes had previously been.
The prize is when we hit menopause and don't need to buy sticky underwear any longer.
I remember a For Better or For Worse (A Canadian comic strip by Lynn Johnston that ran originally from 1979 to 2008 chronicling the lives of the Patterson family and their friends, in the town of Milborough, a fictional suburb of Toronto, Ontario) book titled "But I Read the Destructions" with the word Read underlined. The comic on the cover of the book shows the dad, John, and his son, Michael. John is holding a broken remote control toy truck, that Michael has apparently not assembled correctly and looking perplexed that Michael doesn't know the correct word.
Load More Replies...When I was a kid, there were no instructions, you just use your imagination and the one set of generic bricks that you owned.
My grandson, got a pokemon leggo set for Christmas, from his mom. I usually build whatever he gets (I love doing it!). But, this one, was Hard! It took an hour and a half just to build the head! 45 minutes into the body, and I noticed I used a wrong part,in the middle of it! I start to fix it, and it literally, blew apart! Parts everywhere! 20 minutes later, I ve lost the instructions, and I put All parts in a , build later box! It's been in that box since 12/27/22..
All in favor of calling this please raise you're hand and say eye. Also add a donut.... I'm hungry!
raises eyes to the ceiling, prays to god: 'shapeshift me into any other form of treat, i don't care, but don't make them eat me for lunch.' hesitantly raises head (no hands or feet, so what else do ya expect me to do?!) & whispers 'eye'.
Load More Replies...We fully support the idea that there should be a petition to allow for a bit of flexibility in how we speak. For example, we’d love to talk about ‘nexterday’ instead of ‘tomorrow.’ Why call someone ‘bald’ when you can go for the charmingly elegant ‘spoon-headed’? And who needs a knife and fork at the dinner table when you can ask for a fork and a ‘kitchen sword’?
These are all brilliant names for things, and we wish that this sort of verbal playfulness would be a tad more widespread at schools, universities, and workplaces around the world. This is the kind of out-of-the-box thinking that inspires people to start writing and creating. And we need more of it in real life.
The last time that Bored Panda reached out to Kristen, we had a chat about writing high-quality, humorous content on Twitter and how parents can get their children to eat something new.
"I'm an editor for humor publication The Belladonna and I always tell our writers that the secret to quality humor is being super specific and super universal at the same time," she explained to us that writing in a relatable way is what’s important.
Son called them bite-a-mans. They were Flintstone vitamins and he would always bite the heads off first. (He is a fine, upstanding man now. He no longer bites off heads.)
From now on when I want someone to stop talking because it's giving me a headache I'm going to say "You're putting bees in my head!"
My head has wasps... Mean for no reason, stings multiple times, and hard to get rid of
Is that why a headache can sometimes cause a buzzing sound in your ears?
No! This could be a sign of honey head! He has BUMBLEBEES In his ears! (Don't listen to this im just being dumb
Kinda like how we park on driveways but drive on parkways.
Load More Replies..."I think that's especially true for tweets. If you can paint the funny scene, that's great, but it really takes off when people can relate to it and have their own funny scene they're eager to share, too,” Kristen shared some great advice for anyone who hopes to stand out on Twitter with their comedic posts.
Well I'm an adult and I still can't remember the pasta names. 😂 So I just keep eating my spiral, bowtie and clam pasta while others enjoy their fancy fusillis, farfalles and gnocchis.
When I was six, my mother called it "spaghetti pillows". I don't know if she'd forgotten or was just being cute.
THATS WHAT CAT SAID FROM VICTORIOUS ON THE EPISODE WHERE THEY WENT TO YERBA
Somewhat related, when my friend’s daughter was around 3 she asked her why she didn’t have a front tail like Daddy.
Daughter and I were fixin' to leave the house. I walked out of my room just wearing pants and a bra and said, "I'm ready to go!" She burst into giggles and said, "You can't leave the house in your nipple covers!"
my little cousin calls his step moms bras "boob patches"
I had a very similar conversation once. Friend's 3 year-old looking for My Little Pony episodes on YouTube: I want the boo boo bed! My friend: What? Me: She wants the one where Rainbow Dash breaks her wing and goes to the hospital. *clicks episode* 3 year-old: Yay! Friend: I never would have figured that out.
My nephew was the same, when I would watch him, my sister works write down the translations of which episode of Mickey (or whatever he was obsessed with at the time) corresponded with HIS names for them... And GOD HELP YOU if you got it wrong!
Load More Replies...Hebliclopter - I have no idea why he added even more letters
Load More Replies...My intellectuals disabled sister used to call a Hospital a “”Horse Piddle”.
The mom told Bored Panda that two ways that parents can get their kids to try out new foods are ‘bribing’ them and making things as playful as possible.
"My three kids take some convincing with vegetables, but they'll fall for the 'you're a dinosaur and this broccoli is a tree' bit every time," she shared with us during an earlier interview (and we hope all of you Panda Parents are taking notes—the broccoli/tree tactic really works).
"Asparagus is an easy one because I can turn it into a science experiment. They'll shovel asparagus into their mouths after I tell them it makes your pee smell funny,” the mom joked.
My then 4 yr old son bumped his elbow and said "Ow! My arm chin!" (He also called his big toe his "Thumb toe")
Me too! And I can make farty noises with them. But not my armpits.
Load More Replies...I live in China and adopted two boys, now 11 and 8, both of whom speak fluent English and Chinese. When the older one was five we were walking to a store and he asked me if I ever had "sleep movies" because he never heard the word dreams and he was sure I didn't know the Chinese word (meng shang).
Makes sense. Kinda like how some languages call toes “foot fingers”.
my son used to say "knee pits" for behind the knees and "thumb toe" for the big toe
My niece does this too! "Yesterday, when i was a baby..." and then she tells the wildest stories you've ever heard.
When I was 4 I said "a long time ago, but when I was 4 . . ."
My daughter used to say 'the other day' meaning anything from a year to five minutes ago
i say "when i was a kid" im still a teenager :/ its becoming increasingly more accurate and i dont like it
Lol...I wonder if he ever thinks of this when he has it on...."I'm wearing my basketball dress"
Kristen is based in a small town near Boston. She is the winner of the 2022 Erma Bombeck Humorist-in-Residence program, and her writing has been featured in a wide range of publications, including The New Yorker, McSweeney’s, House Beautiful, The Weekly Humorist, Popular Science, and elsewhere.
She has also co-written Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook, and her writing has appeared in the anthology Embrace the Merciless Joy: The McSweeney’s Internet Tendency Guide to Rearing Small, Medium, and Large Children.
And then, knowing small children, threw a fit when you didn't understand.
And then when you finally understood and gave them the pop tart they no longer wanted it
Load More Replies...What kind of boujie daycare is giving out poptarts? Those things are £££
Looking at the music menu via monocle: I say, the Bach Special looks especially scrumptious but I'm really in the mood for the Beethoven Combo. Bloody decisions...! XP
Could I have the Satied vegetables? Also, do you have a Lizt of the drinks? One sec, I’ll be Bach
I don't have them on hand, but I'll pick some up when I go Chopin.
Load More Replies...Mistletoe is a parasite though. . . Birds carry it and land on trees, which in turn begins to k!ll the tree. This changed my entire perception of mistletoe.
One of the best things about parenting tweets is that they show the wide range of ups and downs of family life: there are numerous challenges when raising a child, but all of the funny and wholesome moments more than make up for it.
However, some parents fall into the trap of thinking that they need to be ‘perfect.’ Already exhausted from ‘regular’ parenting, they overwhelm themselves further by putting a lot of additional stress on their shoulders, worried that their children might be ‘lagging behind’ everyone else’s. Whether that’s in terms of education or skills.
in scotland calling someone a spoon means they're an idiot that cant be trusted with a knife or fork
YAE BLOODY SPOON (I can do it like that right?)
Load More Replies...My 3 year old son used to say. “ plug it out” Makes sense. You plug it in ( toaster, vacuum etc)
Real Estate Agent: And here, we have the "cat hider"! It is very good for hiding cats, especially when you want to play hide and seek!
My little cousin called my closet of cleaning stuff The Cleanery.
If only a line of magic maids came dancing out when you opened the door ...
Load More Replies...As we’ve covered on Bored Panda some time ago, this desire for ‘perfection’ and total control can backfire quite a bit. Not just for the parents, but for their kids, too.
A childhood independence expert explained to us a while back that it’s a mistake for parents to try to protect their munchkins from ever feeling uncomfortable, frustrated, lonely, or scared. If they do this, their toddlers may grow up to be completely unprepared to deal with the challenges that real life throws at them. They might not be able to handle the unpleasant surprises they’ll have to deal with at school, work, and in other parts of their lives.
I mean it's not as bad as little me calling an octopus' tentacles testic... you know what you get the gyst
Dude whoever downvoted you obviously needs to get a life, or at least crawl out from under their cozy little rock. Nothing’s offensive, and thus therefore random downvote fairies should go and whack their own heads with a metal spatula. Some people just need a high five… in the face… with a chair… :)
Load More Replies...I used to have a particular way of pronouncing the word "roots". Somewhere we have an audio recording of me drawing a picture of a tree (known as the "lazy looking fir tree") and describing it. When I drew the roots, I very emphatically said "Them are the roots, them". Followed by a big slurp of air as I was concentrating hard. LOL.
Oh my god, when I was younger I was told that the word for people who couldn’t speak was “dumb”. I was reading Harry Potter at the time and came across the word “dumbstruck” so it made sense. But I was quickly corrected that it was actually mute when I was watching tv with my cousins and someone was speaking sign language, so I pointed at them and loudly proclaimed, “Hey, that person is dumb!” 😳😳. It’s a funny family memory now but at the time my parents were mortified!!
Well "dumb" is how they were originally referred to, but it later became used to mean stupid.
Load More Replies...The first sentence Helen Keller spoke was "I am not dumb now." As she practiced alone secretly, she didn't know the b was silent.
My 3yr old son was sitting in my lap the other day when out of nowhere he squeezed my left boob and said "Venus!" and then squeezed the right one and said "Jupiter!" Still not as bad as when we were standing in the checkout line at the BUSY market and he grabbed my stomach with both hands (luckily over my shirt) and YELLED...."SQUISHY!!!"
Boobie baskets at our house. Four daughters and myself! (I had boobs till 2011, damn cancer!)
"Over The Shoulder Boulder Holder" dares from my teen years -around the mid point of the last century. That's right! I'm so old that my birthstone is coal!
As such, one of the best things that families can do is to encourage kids to be independent, confident, and resilient. You still love them and give them all the support that they need. However, you don’t rush to their aid the moment things get just a tiny bit tough for them.
My toddler called her footwear "shoes-on" because I would say "get your shoes on so we can go."
When I was a tiny tiny child I CHOSE to sleep in the laundry bin. Hated it every time but kept doing it for some reason...
Son would put 2 year old daughter in laundry basket, fill it with toys, then push her around shouting "here come's the greedy, greedy bus!"
Which of these word workarounds made you laugh the most, Pandas? Were there any phrases that you'd prefer to use instead of the real names that people call things? What alternative names have your own children come up with for various things? We'd love to hear from you, so share your thoughts in the comments!
a genius, the technical term is "by word of mouth" so found out by ear is close
Some adults (and kids) have aphasia or other kinds of speech/language disorders, and will always have them. It doesn't mean they are "delayed".
Load More Replies...We're not like this really, just this 1
Load More Replies...When I was about 3, I asked my dad what a boy cheese sandwich tasted like because all I'd eaten were girl cheese sandwiches. My dad actually did a spit take with his beer!
I was 6 years old and my mom was making grilled cheese sandwhiches. Something had been weighing on my mind, and with a troubled heart I asked, “mom if they are girl cheese sandwhiches is dad allowed to have any?” I am still mocked to this day
I worked at a daycare when I was young. My shift started at noon. On the day the kids had a field trip to a Mexican restaurant, I came into work to see excited children telling me how they went out to eat and got grilled cheese sandwiches.
Load More Replies...We need an official toddler dictionary much like Urban Dictionary lol
Load More Replies...Actually, this could be a literal translation from Dutch because that is what we call them... broekkousen or kousebroek. (kous = sock, broek = trousers).
The actor who played Robin in the 60's Batman called his tights, python pants
Reminds me of when I used to like the imagine dragons song Radioactive but I would say "Videowacktoo!" Im not making that up
Instead of saying “welcome to the new age” I’d honest to god say “wabba dooba doo ay”
Load More Replies...Playing headbands with a group of second graders. One's headband was too big and she asked me to "smallen it."
My daughter has been saying upper instead of higher for years now, and she's six.
that’s way better than me i silently named it “breakfast puke” because once i threw up something with a remarkable resemblance to breakfast puke
Oh god I literally just cracked up and my cat ran under the bed
Load More Replies...According to my parents, I used to ask for Baby Soup all the time, and it took them forever to figure I meant Bathing suit.
Forget hanitizer, portchildteaus is now in my vocabulary!
I find it a little difficult to say, and would prefer “PortKidTeau.” It seems to flow a little bit better. Still, I’ll wait for someone who can improve it even more; I’m hoping someone can think of a word for “child” that sounds like “man,” ‘cause then we’ll have a winner!
Load More Replies...Or wash your hands with soap and water. That's even better ;)
Load More Replies...My daughter mashed up underpants and undergarments to give our family 'underments'. We still use that term even though she's in her thirties.
Daughter used to say I worked in the hostble instead of hospital (I'm a nurse)
My older kids also say hanitizer but when my youngest son , Sam, was little he called it Samitizer. Also, we were his Samily
My son called it hanitizer as well! That's what we've continued to call it 15 years later
Vanellope VonSchweetz wears one as the skirt on her dress and in her casual outfit, so this works for me.
Unfortunately, my file system has been corrupted. The drives still spin but the data kinda flies out of my ears.
you have to cut open your skull, take your brain out, and dig through it. Ouch
My kid did this at age 2, he's almost 19 now. We still call emergency vehicles "wee-woos". Edit: user oops
My daughter used to call blueberries TICKS....I can't eat blueberries anymore...
As a child, my lifelong goal was to be taller than my brother so I could touch the sky. He's 6'4", and has been that height for as long as I've been alive, and I thought that surely he could touch the sky and just wasn't telling me. I eventually gave up on this dream when I realized how hard it is to find decent clothing as a tall woman in america.
Yet again, me trying to contain a dark joke. (oooo ill be an obnoxious youtuber) BuT iF tHiS cOmMeNt GeTs 50 LiKeS I'lL dO iT
Was staying at a hotel in San Antonio many years ago and got to watch a bell boy attempt to annihilate a Texas cockroach (think surfboard with legs) with a flyswatter. Thinking he was successful, he started to dump it in the trashcan. *Knowing* that it was only stunned, I made him leave with it...which he did with the roach balanced on the end of the bugsmacker extended at arm's length.
Appropriate avatar there. But really, I'm not a fan of this "teehee I drink a lot!" trend. Why isn't it okay for me to say "ha ha, I eat to cope" but it's fun and hip to be like "momma needs her happy juice"
And if it was the dad going “I have to drink to cope with my children” 🙄🙄🙄
Load More Replies...I worked with a 29 year old woman that called cul-de-sacs the culture sacs. She also would order "puh-sketti" when our boss would take us to Olive Garden for lunch at times.
oh how adorable such a funny name for a MURDERED CORPSE (side note: my pigness may have influenced this comment)
Could be worse. After watching Star Wars for the first time when I was 4, my mum showed it to me when I was home sick, I called Life savers (those orange rings you find on beaches or by lakes) Life Sabers for ages before I figured out what it really was
As an adult I forgot the word for soda water (which I don't like) and went with "white noise drink"
Considering sparkling water does taste like TV static, yeah! LOL!
Load More Replies...I used to say peni- (Don't dislike bot me I'm not kidding they had to teach me the real word after I did it in public)
I encountered the opposite at a daycare I used to work at. Three year olds were changing out of their swimsuits after water play and one little boy said to another, "I see your booty. I see your peanuts." I mentioned it to his mother and she said, "Please, don't correct him. We like that he says peanuts."
Load More Replies...Dried gravy. Just add water, heat and stir, and you have gravy. I think.
Load More Replies...My then 2-year old daughter used to call the tattoo of a plumeria on my hip “Mama’s potty flower,” because she only saw it when I used the toilet (privacy is a thing of the past when you have young children!).
I'm not even a parent and I can relate. I have 52 little cousins. I'm not making that up.
Load More Replies...I wonder how much language development has been kids making up or mispronouncing words for things and adults deciding those were better.
"Not enough!" Seems like a valid answer after reading these
Load More Replies...Throwback to last week when I called the gas light the "get gas logo". I'm 16. 🤦🏻♀️
I was asked today by my 3.y.o for the lady lion song. its not the lion king songs "i cant wait to be king" or "feel the love tonight" and i got in so much trouble for not knowing what she asked for... im really hoping to figure it out before i see her tonight.
My toddler says "I'm apologies" when he's sorry for something and it kills me every time.
my brother used to call vitamins "spidermans" and lines "lions" and my sister used to call blueberries "blubbies"
My then 2-year old daughter used to call the tattoo of a plumeria on my hip “Mama’s potty flower,” because she only saw it when I used the toilet (privacy is a thing of the past when you have young children!).
I'm not even a parent and I can relate. I have 52 little cousins. I'm not making that up.
Load More Replies...I wonder how much language development has been kids making up or mispronouncing words for things and adults deciding those were better.
"Not enough!" Seems like a valid answer after reading these
Load More Replies...Throwback to last week when I called the gas light the "get gas logo". I'm 16. 🤦🏻♀️
I was asked today by my 3.y.o for the lady lion song. its not the lion king songs "i cant wait to be king" or "feel the love tonight" and i got in so much trouble for not knowing what she asked for... im really hoping to figure it out before i see her tonight.
My toddler says "I'm apologies" when he's sorry for something and it kills me every time.
my brother used to call vitamins "spidermans" and lines "lions" and my sister used to call blueberries "blubbies"
