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Do you have kids?

Oooooooooooof

So you have hairy feet?🙂

Too bad it wasn't a penis. You could have said "Keep the tip."

I bet he's not the first person

You are an insurance company nightmare..

I have lost my phone while it has been in my hand. Looked all over for it. Realized I was holding it

You've entertained them.

Time to sleep more!

Hahahahaha - I'm certain you are!

Thats when you rock it and say you wanted it that way

I think this is what Clint and Natasha were talking about Budapest

"Care to explain why you're waving a thong around?"

It's wise to invest in a daylight balanced LED lightbulb for your bedroom/closet (wherever you keep your clothes and get dressed). Then, you'll be unlikely to mix up dark blues and blacks.

This lady could do with a few kernels of wisdom.

"What's that clickin' noise?"-Henry Cho

Aaah, the famous gift mouse. My cat once brought me half a mouse. She kindly left it out on the (dark) balcony. Came home after work, kicked shoes/socks off, went to the balcony for a smoke ...

And as they say, the rest was history..

I have done something similar. I was having a breast lump removed as an outpatient and I arrived in plenty of time, got to the right department and 'checked in' at reception. The receptionist said they had no record of an appointment for me. I knew I was there on the right date/time etc and luckily had the original letter with me to prove it. I showed her the letter, she read it and pointed out I was at the WRONG HOSPITAL. They were very good though, they phoned through and asked them to give me a later appointment so I could travel the 20 miles and be seen that day. What an idiot I am lol!

this is a good man :)

SOMEBODY PLEASE CALL 911!!

What did do a large leaf of lettuce in bra? Any clue?

Both nice boots, though

Both as stupid as each other, why wouldn't you notice a complete stranger coming in and working for you??

So that's the story you're telling? ;)

Coworker of mine once did that with every changing room mirror in our store. 409 instead of Windex. It was a nightmare.

But looking straight down at your feet they look the identicle

Lovely

How do you spend 90 minutes on make up? I am a fully formed adult female and when not in quarantine I wear make up daily. I don't know how to make a make-up routine last 90 minutes. Even if I move at a sloth's pace, it would still only 15 minutes.

My dad used to lose his glasses on the top of his head and would tear the house apart looking for them while we giggled. The time we found them in the refrigerator though . . . we asked WTF and Dad claimed he wanted "cool shades". I miss him

Too true, those knee braces pick up anything/everything! I once did an entire grocery trip with catnip mouse dangling from my knee. Regretted not choosing one with a bell attached...

Today is half pajama day, kids.

It would have been even funnier if you didn't see each other again until the wedding, and the teller added the story to her maid of honour speech.

"Help! I'm being eaten alive!"

I'm very surprised it was still on the roof after driving 11 miles.

I have so many questions.....

Did you understand him better afterwards?

Two-timer!!

I've had to travel around bare feet, a bunch of dogs stole my flip flops at the beach..

Im an introvert and when its come to interview time i can't say any single word, thats why i still unemployed

I see, the irony is not lost on you

At least they were clean.. could have been worse..

I'm so glad my dog is not a chewer.

After reading this, your clients must be worried sick as to where all have you mailed their confidential documents

The curse of Budapest.

Nah. I never have. I don't just chuck my clothes on the floor when I undress though.

Someone should have told her.

I wore a sweater wrong side out all day at work. Someone finally told me. At least we all had a good laugh.

I feel like you could pass this off as some kind of high fashion choice

Pair of socks, referring back to the initial post about a sock that sparked this list

Fathering law?

That must've been a HUGE relief!

Not quite Superman...

"Wow, this meeting is going great!" "Bra! That's a bra! That means boobs! Boobs everyone! Man, aren't boobs the best?" "Actually I prefer a nice pair of legs." "Shut up, Steve! There are boobs present!"

Just tel them it was in case you got a hole-in-one. :-)

Not sure how to respond with this one. Only funny if your son was hospitalized with something incredibly minor. Maybe "my son was hospitalized" isn't a great lead-in, humor-wise.

Were they seen?