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Justice and the universe go hand in hand. When someone does something incredibly bad (or good!) that whacks justice out of balance, the powers of the universe send karma to restore it. Simple as that. Sometimes this happens instantly, which makes witnessing it even more glorious and satisfying.
People under this popular thread were sharing stories about times they saw instant karma at work, which range from sinister to wholesome. We gathered the best ones for your entertainment below, all you have to do is scroll down to find them!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I used to be a zookeeper.
This jerk was making fun of our llama for looking ugly. The llama was a rescue who had corrective jaw surgery.
The jerk pointed and laughed at our llama.
The llama spat in her mouth.
I gave the llama a treat and told her that she was a good girl.
monsieur mabel 1 month ago
.......my first "today i learned" on bp, FAFO..........and llamas can be boss !!............:o)
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Upstaged75 1 month ago
And it's not just saliva that she spit. Llamas spit rotten stomach juice. It smells like death.
Saltypepper 1 month ago
𝑊𝑂𝑊,𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇𝑠 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟... 𝑆𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡...𝑖 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑡 𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜..
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Robert Trebor 1 month ago
At the San Antonio zoo one time two loud, rude people were making comparisons between a hippo resting facing away and one of ther mother-in-law's butt, and the hippo sprayed them both with liquid feces. Got them good.
Nobody Special 1 month ago
In Ft Worth zoo, late 80s they had a gorilla in a big cage that looked like a jail cell. Just iron bars with a short hedge going around the outside of it. We had already gone by and visited him and walked up the next walkway, so we could still see him over another hedge that separated the walkways. A group of teens approached the cage loudly talking so I stopped to watch. They're talking doodoo about the gorilla laughing etc. So gorilla bends down to start drinking water. The teens continue to talk c**p and it suddenly turns to screaming as that gorilla beautifully spit a giant mouthful of water all over them. It was fabulous!
RELATED:
#2
While working for the fire department, on a call for a multi vehicle rollover accident on the interstate. We got on the interstate one exit away, running into traffic, so we moved over to the emergency lane with lights and siren.
We were about half way there and a BMW pulls in front of us trying to cut through the traffic, he didn't even look.
I laid into the air horn and he came to a complete stop, with his middle finger out the window.
I'd had a lot of people do stupid things when seeing lights coming at them, but this guy was being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk.
He got out of his car and started screaming at us.
Meanwhile he was blocking the only fire engine and 2 ambulances available. People were really hurt half a mile away, and he was making his stand because we honked our air horn at him for blocking us.
I looked out at my mirror to see a highway patrolman running between lanes towards us..he was pissed.
BMW boy was immediately arrested, his pretty car got pushed out of the way into a ditch and he went to jail.
The people in the accident were hurt bad, and 2 cars had to be cut open to get people extricated from bent metal.
It was frustrating.
Reemerger 1 month ago
Intentionally interfering with emergency services should be a felony.
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DC 1 month ago
That is beyond jerk behaviour, it's actively and knowingly delaying of desperately needed help. Fires are easier to extinguish in early stages ... potentially fatal damage to persons is less often actually fatal if treated earlier ... we all know what the emergency lane is meant for, we all know what the sirens and blue lights indicate, therefore, I can't wrap my head around what such drivers are thinking and trying. I'm the last person to demand following every rule to the very letter, but that requires some sense for personal responsibility, which this guy displayed a complete lack of, and then some. This isn't just your regular jerk, this is bordering to attempted manslaughter!
Sue User 1 month ago
So did I. I remember a truck driver tekking me how he started a traffic jam in New York. Someone gad doubke parked and he ciukdnt turn. Cop told him to turn. After getting name and badge, he made the turn, ruining the front if the car.
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Verena 1 month ago
And this is one of the reasons traffic in Germany has to form an emergency lane on the left, so rescue services don't get blocked in by smartypants using the break-down lane on the right hand shoulder as fast lane to reach the next exit. Google "Rettungsgasse" to get an idea. The break-down lane also might be blocked by a broken down vehicle, or a traffic jam clogging an exit. With the emergency lane created by vehicles, rescue services are faster.
Sue User 1 month ago
They are supposed to do that in USA too but sometines there is no way or place to pull over.
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#3
A guy kicked a dog and ran full speed into a brick wall as the dog chased him.
FranSinclair 1 month ago
Once when my now adult daughter was about 5, we went to a petting zoo. My daughter went to pet a baby cow and it bit on to her romper and was tugging at her. Im saying "no no! You stop it! Be nice!" To this baby while yanking on mine trying to free her. He does just long enough to bend down and take her loafer. I didn't know at the time cows like intricate patterens and her outfit and shoes were rainbow zig zags. Im trying to explain to the cow why he cannot have her shoe and his momma comes hauling around the corner and like nipped his butt, he dropped the shoe, 2 moms just looking at one another like *its all part of the job* while my daughters looking at drool on her shoe& the cows looking at her like *snitches get stitches!*
veryvenasaur 1 month ago
Good cow (the mother not the biter) great story!
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
🤬 I want to do terrible things to people who hurt animals.
Barbara Wilcock 1 month ago
A brick wall would be nothing if I got hold of that b a s t e r e d
#4
I liked going to the local fruit stand near my old job before work. It's a small family owned and run place. A little kid was working the register and accidently gave me back more than I gave them. I give back the money and correct the mistake, insisting it happens and to not worry about it, I'm not telling nobody.
The kid must have told her kin folk about two weeks later and I didn't pay for fruit for the next month until I got another job.
Karma works both ways!
Nadine Debard 1 month ago
I have returned money to small places like that, but not to big a*s companies like Walmart or whatever. My loyalty goes to the small ones.
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The unnamed one 1 month ago
i'm evil, but not evil enough to steal from a kid who is trying to help his family
Nova Rook 1 month ago
Did this at a small family breakfast place. The guy gave me an extra $5 and praised me for returning it. No biggie. Later he would go on to murder his father who owned the place. Comsos in NDG for those curious. Cheap and amazing food.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yikes! Just googled and read a news story about it - sounds like the son had mental issues or possibly a breakdown due to drüg use (or both) :( That sucks. The dad had such a friendly smile in the photo in the news article.
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Bret Sander 1 month ago
There's little more stressful than having your till come up short at the end of a shift. I always let them know if they gave me back too much change and they're always grateful.
ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM 1 month ago (edited)
I had something similar happen to me while working in bars. A couple had a bill of around 44€, they handed me a 50 and called the rest tips (over here, tips are generally 5-10%, anything close to or even over 10% is rare). The 50 felt too massive between my fingers, so I moved them a little bit, and it was in fact two 50s perfectly stacked. I'm looking at the lady who gave me the money, asking "you sure? 🫠"... they were half mortified, half relieved. And despite the tip being smaller than it *could* have been with some dishonesty, it was very generous after all, I think they gave me another 10 or so for "saving" their money.
Seadog 1 month ago
I've had customers give me too much and I always give it back. I've never had a customer return the money if I gave them too much back. NEVER. And I've been working retail for 55 years. There was one I'll never forget, I realized my mistake as he was walking out the door, he knew I'd given him back $10 too much because he turned and looked back at me but kept walking. I wasn't chasing him down for 10 bucks. If he can live with his dishonesty, I can live without the 10.
Maartje 1 month ago
I was at Ikea two days ago, returning a large order because I ran into a snag ( a wall turned out to be load bearing and the wardrobe was not going to fit underneath the 8-by-4) ) . The girl accidentally rang up one item twice. I pointed it out and the manager said "merry Christmas" :)
#5
Not 100% “instant” karma, but pretty quickly. See, I work for a staffing agency. I’m a recruiter. Pretty small team and this was actually another recruiter on my team that this happened to.
My co-worker was working with this guy who was pretty sharp. He was a programmer. His company was doing layoffs but he was told he wouldn’t be affected. My co-worker contacted him, chatted about the situation and he said he would be interested in looking around. We just had a new client give us a position to help on that fit his background. We lined up an interview pretty quickly, he interviewed and got the position! Great. It was even a little salary bump. Straight direct hire, no contract stuff. He goes in, works his first week. All is great, all smiles.
Well, that next Monday shows up and he isn’t there. The company calls us asking where he is, so my co-worker calls him. He answers the phone and my co-worker asks “hey, is everything okay? You no call no showed today over at XYZ company.” And the guy proceeds to tell us “Yeah, I never actually quit my job. I just took vacation for the week to see if I liked the place. It was okay but I’ll just stay here.” My co-worker responds “Man, is there anything I can do? This puts us in a tight spot, this is a brand new customer of ours, can I do anything” and the guy tells us “Quite frankly I don’t care what kind of position it puts you in nor do I care if they are a new customer. I’m staying, don’t call me again.” And hangs up the phone.
He got laid off the next week.
Ben 1 month ago
Sorry but I hate working for recruiters. Their tactics can be so shady. Like acting they are actually apart of the company they are recruiting for. Then come to find out they are one of 20 recruiters trying to someone for the job. I have spent so many hours "interviewing" for jobs thinking I was talking to the actual hiring manager .
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
Yeah, a lot of recruiters are like that. But a lot of them aren’t. I give them the benefit of the doubt until they do something bad.
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Seadog 1 month ago
He didn't just burn that bridge, he nuked it. I'm betting in his industry, those in position constantly discuss things about staff/would be staff. His actions no doubt lost him multiple potential jobs. When I was young, who you knew/knew you, played a major role in jobs. That is something that is beginning to become reality again.
#6
Watched an entitled angry man belittle his server to the point of tears. Then he hitched up his belt and looked pleased with himself as he swaggered off the restaurant deck, tripped on the stairs, and face planted in the sand on the beach. (This was a vacation in Fla.) My wife looked mortified as I laughed right out loud at the guy. He got up, saw everyone staring and at least one person openly laughing, and quickstepped off down the beach.
FranSinclair 1 month ago (edited)
As a server and a woman...this is exactly the support i want my husband putting out there. You cant witness that kinda karma and not enjoy...karma will get offended and come for you! Point and laugh at the jerk for winning lotto numbers!
Uncle Panda 1 month ago (edited)
I said something debonair to the cool lady raft guide as I prepared to leap off the raft at the end of the day and then caught my sandal on a line and face planted into the water next to the beach.
#7
We were driving home late from work one night, (both bartenders, maybe midnight). We live in a small community, and we were at the 1/4 mile section that goes from 55, to 45, to 35, to 25.
A giant lifted truck decided that he wanted to continue going 55, he was UP OUR BACK, brights on, so close you couldn't even see his bumper. It was like his lights were in our car.
Pretty much 2 seconds after one of us said, "Where's a cop when you need one?", a deputy passed us going the opposite direction and immediately pulled him over.
Still gives me the warm fuzzies.
Emilu 1 month ago
Trucks (as in... the huge ones that deliver freight etc. Do Americans have a separate name for these ones, or are they all bundled in 'trucks'? We'd probably call most of your trucks 'utes' here, I think.) can be a menace. Actually, in reflection I guess this could relate to American trucks too. It's almost like they find a smaller car and tailgate them for shits and giggles.
Seadog 1 month ago
Had a jerk trying to pull me over one night with his flashing red light. Nice try, police don't' drive Volare's. (also had no front tag, a requirement in Virginia) FF a few miles and as I pass the state police station an officer just happens to be pulling out. I hit the brakes, pull over, jump out in time to flag him as he passes. I run up and tell him "see that car gong over the hill? He's been trying to pull me with his red light for several miles." Impersonating the police is generally frowned upon the world over. Cop floored it out of there. I laughed and continued home. Too bad this was long before cell phones and dash cams.
Love my fur baby 1 month ago
I (77F) pulled double trailers. Never was a bully-life's to short. Did give a mom a bit of scare once. Made eye contact with child in passenger seat, he gave signal to blow horn. So without thinking I gave him a short blast. Was sorry I did. Mom jumped and was quite startled. Give her credit, her car didn't swerve at all. Mouthed sincere apology.
Leslie Shaw 1 month ago
Years ago, I was driving at night on a CA freeway, (in a section where there were about 4-5 lines). I was in the second lane to the left (not a carpool lane). I wasn't going really fast or slow, just with the traffic. And the far left lane had drivers going slightly faster than I was driving. A driver comes up behind me, apparently not happy with how fast I was driving and started flashing his lights at me. I decided to let it go (not get upset) and moved over to the lane to the right of me. The driver speeds by me and, the next thing I see is a police car driving up to him and flashing his lights. Total warm fuzzies!
GalPalAl 1 month ago
He wanted to be in your back seat is what I always say. Glad he got caught being a jack a s s
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
When I was a kid, my dad HATED people who tailgated/drove too close behind, and he would often mutter "If you're not a hemorrhoid, GET OFF MY ÁSS!" I know he's not the originator of that phrase, but as a kid, I'd always giggle because of the forbidden bad word XD
Load More Replies... #8
At a big sports tournament after a game and it’s raining a bit - an aggressive driver can’t be bothered with people rushing to their cars and almost runs over a kid, yells at people in his way and decides to weave around traffic to get out of the place quicker. There is a saw horse blocking the exit he is not supposed to go out. The rain is getting heavier. Everyone is watching this impatient person as he gets out his car to move the saw horse and bypass the traffic line and pedestrian traffic due to self entitlement. When he gets out to move the saw horse / barrier he closes his car door and locks himself out of the car with the car running. Downpour ensues. Instant Karma.
Angie May 1 month ago
I was just on a roadtrip with a really intense downpour started while I was on the interstate. Most people slowed down considerably and put on their hazard lights, but someone in the left lane decided to go ripping 80 past everyone and ended up hydroplaning. As he shot past me the car whipped right off the road into the median and was spinning out badly. Luckily it was a large median and the sort that's just grass and not the kind with a concrete wall or railing. The rain went on for a bit longer and I passed two more cars sitting in the middle of the median. Torrential downpours are no joke!
Francois 1 month ago
Type of trestle designed for cutting/sawing wood pieces.
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Emilu 1 month ago (edited)
@Hugo as I can't reply directly to you, whilst the imagery is rather amusing (IMO, as I default to an engine with feet pissbolting away), not sure what's so odd about the terminology. "Leaving the engine running", for example, is a common phrase in Australia. Not so much where you live?
Lupita Nyong'heaux 1 month ago
i did it at a gas station once. why would you think it couldn't happen? (genuine question, not being sarcastic or anything.)
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#9
That time I had my SHOES stolen! I was 17. Went to a party where there were kids from two different high schools. When I went inside I took off my brand new Nike Air Mada shoes that I had just bought for $140. Hours later, when I went to leave, my shoes were gone. We had an idea of who took them (a guy from the other school) but didn’t have proof. I was so sad and so embarrassed. I had to drive home in my socks. Long story short ... a week later, Monica (the girl who threw the party) shows up on my doorstep holding something behind her back ... turns out she went to a party and saw the guy who stole my shoes - wearing them! When he took them off after a smoke break she snagged them! Now, standing in front of me she reveals my Nikes!!! She told me the best part was watching him look for them (just like I had) and then leave in his socks!
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
Similar thing happens here but in temples in rough parts of the country. You leave your sandals outside as you go in to recieve blessings from the deity and come out only to find that someone stole your sandals
Howl's sleeping castle 1 month ago (edited)
My friend's sandals got stolen when we visited a famous temple in Rajasthan. We decided to buy a cheaper pair because it was raining too. We found his sandals on the way to the shoe store.
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Cindy Brick 1 month ago
Daughter had her sandals stolen during a college party -- I wouldn't have believed it, but it happened. They weren't cheap, either.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
That’s a lot of shoe removing at parties. I saw the price in dollars and I know that this isn’t an American cultural thing (nor Australian), so wonder what’s the dilly-o
tori Ohno 1 month ago
Give me those little paper shoe coverings if you're that ainal about your floors, but my shoes (with orthotics inside) don't come off my feet.
Karen Bryan 1 month ago (edited)
Happened to my uncle inside the Mormon temple in downtown Salt Lake City. At the time, there was a big department store right across the street, so he walked in his socks to buy some new ones.
#10
Was buying some drinks at a circle K one day while visiting someone in Florida and these old tourists cut us in line, all the while complaining loudly about everything, how expensive everything is, how crowded the beach is, it’s too hot, etc. they are also really rude to the cashier and take forever arguing about the price of the hot dogs they were buying or something. They leave and as we walk out we witness a seagull come and snatch the guy’s hot dog right out of his hand. His wife then shrieks and proceeds to drop hers out of surprise.
I know it isn’t that big of a deal but it was so hilarious watching that happening that I still remember it 5 years later.
WindySwede 1 month ago
Should have gotten the sausage eating mask from the other post here on BP!
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I am so scared to go looking for what you're referring to XD
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
😂😂😂 If they dislike everything so much, hopefully they won’t come back.
Seadog 1 month ago
Not karma but my food story. I was 4 or 5. On the way to Myrtle Beach, we stop at a gas station which had the first outdoor vending area I'd ever seen. Get a candy bar, take a bite and said "mine's got worms in it." I of course spit it out and aunt had me throw it away. There was a man standing there, he looks at his and it's full of worms too.....he had one bite left. I've always looked at everything I get from a vending machine since.
#11
I have a positive instant karma. Not sure that counts. But it’s a good story
I took my three kids (5f, 5m, 7f) to a local carnival/feast. My wife had some girl brunch thing, didn’t come. We parked kinda far so To get to the rides, we had to walk through the concert field where people were staking their spots for the show later. Tarps, etc.
A young mom and her young daughter walked past us quickly, the Mom holding chairs, tarps, etc and basically has her hands completely full. So, i catch up to her, ask her if she needs help and I take a couple of the bags from her. We followed them to a spot they had, dropped their stuff, chatted for a minute, she thanked me and we walked off. Just as we left, my older daughter, 7, looks up at me and says “that was really nice dad”. Very cute.
Right after she said that, a dad walking out of the feast handed/asked if I wanted some ride tickets they weren’t going to use. So i took them and thanked him. Instantly, my daughter (same one) says to me “dad! That was karma! The tickets were karma for helping that lady” she was so right! Such a great dad moment.
Amanda Reinstatler 1 month ago
He is winning at being a DAD!!!!! And just as a good human being 🥰
#12
Loaded up an egg in one of those water balloon slingshots to launch at someone’s car. The thing snapped backwards and launched the egg straight toward the window of my own car parked nearby.
The window was open maybe an inch and the egg entered that space and fantastically exploded all inside of my car. We were cleaning up tony bits of eggshell even months later. Never egged another car again.
Jeremy James 1 month ago
And they learned their lesson from the experience. That's the beautiful part that doesn't always happen.
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nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
Why are you egging cars in the first place? Whatz wrong witchoo?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I and a friend of mine egged someone's house and backyard (we threw eggs over their backyard fence) when we were both teenagers. The house was where another kid in our class lived and we hated him. I am 43 now and I still think of it occasionally and I STILL feel horrible and guilty and ashamed. But in the moment, my friend and I were full of "this will be HILARIOUS" teenage immaturity. It sounds like OP is older than I was (we weren't old enough to drive at the time) so it's possible OP is immature and thought it would be funny.
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HeavyMetalHeart 1 month ago
Why is someone old enough to drive doing childish pranks like this?
tori Ohno 1 month ago
He probably throws pumpkins off of bridges too . They're starting to treat that as attempted manslaughter in my area now.
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tori Ohno 1 month ago
You deserved that you little shart. Doing that to someone's paint job is pure evil
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Yep. Someone egged my van years ago and there's STILL streaks of it/damage to the paintjob along the side of my van. It's not a big deal at this point because my van is 24 years old and dinged up all over the place, but it was sure frustrating at the time to realize I wasn't going to be getting all of that baked-on egg off my paint.
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Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Someone is going to have to explain why someone that is old enough to drive would throw eggs at someone else’s car. I cannot for the life of me think of a reason. It seems like wanting to punish other people. Seems like an indication that the OP needs to talk things through with a therapist, which isn’t a derogatory comment at all. Therapists help us get shît straight in our head in a way family and friends can’t.
#13
I hit my girlfriend in the forehead with a spinning fidget spinner.
She chased me, I jumped on my bed, and my ceiling fan smacked me.
She was on the floor laughing for a solid 5 minutes.
I am a firm believer in karma now... or maybe just idiocy on my part.
Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
I once played around with a Snap Circuits set with a fan. Let's just say, I learned not to put long hair near the Snap Circuits fan. Coiled my hair up like a baby cousin's hand.
MaryEllen Stesney 1 month ago
I have a good one: while sitting at a red light, I saw a woman coming towards me, having run said light. She clipped 2 cars that did have the green and plowed into the van I was driving, hitting right under my seat. She gets out, asks me if the light was red (duh). I get to say, ask the cop behind ne'
Purple Gurl 1 month ago
There is another post on here about craziest things EMT's have seen. Look it up and read the Wonder Woman one.
#14
My first car wasn't the greatest vehicle, but I managed to scrape some money together to be able to afford it, and it was something I was proud of being able to have when I was young.
I was out driving running errands in an affluent part of the city when I came to a red light, and these two dudes around my age in some expensive car that was obviously paid for by their parents, with music blaring through their expensive subs, pull up beside me and are kind of snickering to themselves, taking a few glances at me every now and then. Whatever, it's fine. Eventually the driver rolls down his window and asks "Hey, bro. Wanna put that thing to the test?" And starts revving his engine. Now I start revving my engine because I knew they weren't expecting me to do that. The two bros go "Ohhhh" and start getting fired up.
Green light comes, and we both slam on our accelerators, except I cap out at the speed limit. The two douches speed off in a big display and head around the bend.
Now the thing about this stretch of road, is that there are usually cops set up with speed traps. Lo and behold when I come around the bend, their car is pulled over to the side with a cop parked right behind them, lights flaring.
They did not seem amused by my smile and wave as I passed by them.
moggiemoo 1 month ago
Years ago in the UK. Stopped at lights, guy pulls up on my offside, starts revving, I look at him and lightly rev the engine. He nods, I nod. The light changes to green, he spins £25 of rubber off each tyre and roars off, I turn left.
minnieslave0 1 month ago
This one is excellent.laughed but loud on the bus.
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Nikki Spears Gross 1 month ago
I know 5 kids that were killed in the 90's while they were off of school campus for lunch. They went over a hill at a high rate of speed, hit a set of railroad tracks and lost control of their car, which caused them to go off the side of the road, straight into a utility pole. The car hit that metal pole with so much force that it actually cut it into two separate pieces and ALL 5 of them died instantly. Those kids were just on a joyride while returning to school, having a little bit of fun and they were showing off. Was it stupid?! YES!! Did they deserve to die for it ?! HELL NO!!! I went to 5 funerals in a one week span and if ANYONE said that they "deserved it" then I would have lost my s**t and throat punched A Motherfücker!
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#15
I was working in a supermarket when panicked customer A came up to me and said he'd accidentally left his cash in the ATM and had anyone handed it in. I was about to say no when customer B appeared behind him and said he'd been trying to catch up to him - he'd been queuing behind him at the ATM and saw what happened, so he'd got the money for him. It was £200 so a decent amount. Customer A was super grateful and offered him some of the money but he wouldn't take it. Customer B then bought a scratchcard, scratched it, and found he'd won £5. Not a whopping amount of karma, but karma nonetheless.
Earonn - 1 month ago
I once was so stressed, I forgot to get my cash out of the ATM. But still stopped to fumble some coins out of my purse for the homeless guy sitting nearby. When a minute later I realised what had happened and ran back, both my £20 and the guy were gone. Not nice, but honestly, I couldn't blame him. I just decided that he got all my usual small money for homeless people in one go and that I was just going to not give as much as usual in the future. And how lucky I am, that the loss of £20 wasn't a catastrophe.
Lazy Panda 2 1 month ago
If the money isn't taken from an ATM within a short time period, then the machine takes it back and it's not deducted from your account.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
If there was a queue at the ATM (which OP does mention that Customer B said) then I don't think that money would have stayed there untouched long enough for it to be "taken back" into the machine XD Plus, Customer B needed to use the ATM, presumably, so it's not like he could have been expected to just stand there waiting for the ATM to suck the money back up.
Load More Replies... #16
I work at a movie theater. One afternoon I was selling tickets at the box office when an older lady came up and asked me a question about our app (it’s a Cinemark app).
I, however, wasn’t sure about the answer and told her that. She proceeded to say, very rudely, “isn’t is your job to know??? Are you stupid or something?”
Then, she turned around and noticed the mall cop was writing her a ticket for parking in a handicap spot when she did not have a handicap plate or placard. She took off running screaming “wait stop! That’s my car!”
I couldn’t keep the huge grin off my face for the rest of the day.
JL 1 month ago
"Sorry, maam, you can't park here. Stupidity isn't a recognized handicap."
Load More Replies... Emilu 1 month ago
People who park in the handicapped spot when they shouldn't deserve all the associated karma coming at them, frankly.
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Marie BellaDonna 1 month ago
When I worked at McDonald's, they gave us NO training on the app. Just rolled it out, and expected us to roll with it.
#17
Happened while visiting NY. I watched someone bend down to pick up a wallet someone ahead of them had just dropped. All of this was going down in the crosswalk and I was in the passenger seat with my dad driving. GuyA who picked up the wallet began run it to GuyB who was already across the street and while doing so, *his* wallet fell out of his pocket and on the sidewalk/crosswalk area.
Some dude in the bike lane rode up a little ways ahead, bent down, and picked it up and just started heading off. Just grabbed it and began to ride away like a bunch of cars hadn’t just watched him. My dad was about to say something when a cop car adjacent to us swerved in front of cycler and made him give it back. Cycler bumped into the cop car and was trying to go around when he was tackled. I think they might’ve arrested him but he light changed so we couldn’t stick around.
Coolest instant karma I’ve ever seen.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I do!! I was born in '82, so I grew up in the 90s and was VERY jealous of the cool kids/older teens who wore wallet chains. My mother was still trying to force me to be a girly girl (she failed) so she never let me have a wallet chain. Now I'm 43 and IDGAF what she thinks about my fashion sense (though she still harasses me about it, lol) and I wear a wallet chain! No one has ever tried to nick my wallet, to be fair, but it's also a fashionable accessory for me as well as being functional, because I've hung a lot of keychains off of it XD This pic is ~2 years old (I had just brought my puppy Fenring home at the time; I definitely can no longer pick him up these days, lol) but you can see the wallet chain :D (and a very frizzy Lakota, lol.) the_lakota...198f67.jpg 
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
Cycler???? Is that like a cyclist? Or more like an under cover cop car?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I'm usually very fond of you and consider you a friend, but nobody loves a pedant. You know exactly what OP meant, and the gods forbid that someone isn't as well-educated and precise in linguistics as you.
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Tropical Tarot 1 month ago
4 little ways make a medium way and 37 mediums make a big way. /s
Load More Replies... #18
I have a happier good karma story that happened to me a few months ago on vacation in San Francisco. Late at night after a potluck and drinks, my friend drove me to a BART metro station near her house and gave me directions to take the train back to my hotel.
I walked in, paid my fare, and went underground only to find out I'd just missed the last train. Fortunately my friend was awesome and gave me bus directions back, but there was another person who'd missed the same train, and he was in a far worse situation than mine. He was drunk, high, carrying massive bags of groceries and alcohol, and was trying to get back to Richmond, the way I came from and super far away. He also had no way to call an Uber.
Feeling bad, I offered to call him an Uber and he could pay me back what he could. He only had $3, but so be it, I wasn't going to turn him down. We chatted awhile until his ride came, he went off on his merry, inebriated way, and I went to catch my bus.
Except when I got on, I realized it was a MUNI bus, the other transit company, and so my BART fare wasn't transferable - I'd have to pay again. I realized I had no dollar bills left in my wallet. I spent it all on that useless fare. Panicking, I reached into my back pocket where I keep small change, well knowing I didn't have enough for the $2.50 fare. And that's when I felt the $3 that guy gave me. It was such a beautiful feeling. I think we were mutual guardian angels that night.
Also I realized halfway through the bus ride that I was going the wrong way, but that ruins the story so I don't usually tell that part. I did manage to get back on the other side, to be fair.
WindySwede 1 month ago
Or a phone, "phone paying app", credit/debit card?
Load More Replies... ZombieMommy 1 month ago
This sounds like me when someone tries to tell be to go "north then turn west". Do I turn by the red barn or by the Dunkin Sheila, I'm not a boyscout.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
Richmond is about 25 minutes from here (SF) on the other side of the bay & pretty far north. It takes well over an hour by bus. BARTs last trains are at midnight. The only way to Richmond after midnight is Muni to AC Transit. Why on earth was this dude carrying groceries when there are a good 50 grocery stores between SF & Richmond? He must have been hella high.
Bored Trash Panda 1 month ago
Well, he was drunk and high, so maybe left a party and decided to grocery shop before heading home? Only logical thing I can think of. lol
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#19
My wife was jogging, and a man starts driving slow and cat calling her. Doesn’t realize it’s a red light and rear-ends a truck, totally destroying his Prius. Cop was stopped at the same red light and saw the whole situation. Cop laughed and asked my wife to fill out a witness statement.
Edit: it was a busy street, so when I say “driving slow,” I mean he slowed down while passing her, probably hit the lady in the truck doing about 35 in a 50.
Uncle Panda 1 month ago
I have a friend who's a runner and she brags that she once put a car in a ditch.
The Big Bad 1 month ago
I once was walking somewhere (long time ago) and this guy is over the top trying to look at me. He bikes into a lantern post... And the sad thing was his GF was on the back of his bike...
Bill Swallow 1 month ago
Reminds me of how my car got totaled years ago. I was driving through town, two lanes in each direction on this street, I was in left hand lane. The car in front of me wanted to make a left and stopped because of traffic coming the other way, so I stopped behind them. The idiot coming up behind *me* at high speed was busy with his cell phone and never even touched his brakes, hitting me and driving me into the car in front of me. My car was judged 'totaled'. His car - a rental - was not only leaking *coolant*, he hit me hard enough that he was leaking *transmission fluid*. Cops said I was not at fault for the damage to the car in front of me. Here's the aftermath - mine is the green Accord Wagon, his is the white car. Schmidt-1-...e0dbeb.jpg 
Mishka 1 month ago
That actually happened to me...except I was the person in the car that was hit while stopped at a red light. The lady being ogled was walking her dog, not jogging, and there was no cop around. Thankfully, this was back in the day, and I was driving a 1980 Monte Carlo, so no real damage to my car. Unfortunately, I still have issues with my neck from the whiplash.
#20
Worked after school care for school age kids. There was this one kid who was pretty obnoxious and got under everyone’s skin. One day I see him walk into the room just needling another kid. He ends his provoking with a Nelson from the Simpsons “ha ha!”, spins around, and face plants on the ground. The kid he was provoking gave him a “ha ha!” back and walked off. Obnoxious kid gets up, dusts himself off, and humbly slinks away and is pretty quiet for the rest of the day.
Tropical Tarot 1 month ago
Irritating, winding them up, Verbally poking them.
Load More Replies... #21
Saw a guy yelling at another guy in traffic, the guy that was yelling continued to speed off and got pulled over by a under cover cop car on the side of the road.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
😂😂😂pedantic /pə-dăn′tĭk/ adjective. Characterized by a narrow, often ostentatious concern for academic knowledge and formal rules. "a pedantic attention to details."
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Colleen Glim 1 month ago
There’s a driveway across the street from me that is popular with the local cops for a speed trap because from one direction, you can’t see it until you’re almost on top of it. It’s always amusing to watch the small d*ck energy ones get pulled over
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
Crystalwitch has no concept of the vastness of her ignorance.
Load More Replies... #22
Last week, my youngest daughter had her last day of preschool. Between my two girls, we've been associated with this school for almost 10 years. My wife and I wanted to do something nice for them so we offered to buy them Starbucks.
As I'm about to enter the Starbucks' parking lot, a guy runs a stop sign, narrowly missing me. He pulls in, I pull in next to him. I hurriedly scramble out of my car to beat him to the line.
It was fun listening to them call my name for all 15 drinks before that guy got his.
#23
Used to commute to DC from 40 miles away. Driving home one evening, this dude decides he MUST merge into my lane NOW. Beeping and all, he pushes me off the road.
The car behind me was a cop. As soon as I was on the shoulder, lights and sirens went on and the dude was pulled over.
Pferdchen 1 month ago
Ugh. I'm envisioning the 34 mile stretch of 95 from DC to Dale City. On a bad day, it's bumper to bumper stop and go traffic the entire way. I don't know how anyone could deal with that, or any 40 mile commute, on a daily basis.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
Oh, that commute to DC for work is brutal! That’s why if I didn’t use Metro or VRC, I carpooled. Even the slug line is better than driving in on your own.
JLo 1 month ago
Why not just let him merge in front of you? Everyone on the highway has to merge frequently. Just let him. The 5 seconds you save from not letting someone merge is not worth it. What goes around, comes around.
Emilu 1 month ago (edited)
I have to admit that I'm petty here, but I won't let someone merge in front of me if, say, there's a roadworks sign or they've otherwise had some indicator the lane will cut off, then they come up on your left and attempt to shove in anyway. Generally I'm pretty chill about it, but the sort of behaviour I described grinds my gears.
Load More Replies... #24
My boss told me I was useless as a 3 peckered donkey and threw a can of wd40 at me which missed and broke the screen on his laptop.
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 month ago
Boss should be charged with attempted a*****t at the very least, but hey, wrecking his laptop by his own actions is a good start... -_-"
TheGoodBoi 1 month ago
I agree. I'm hoping it's a joking scenario. At a shop I used to work at, we would say something similar and throw all sorts of things at each other. We would joke and purposely miss when throwing but who knows.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Depends on where they're located. If they're all sprouting from the same, err, "origin spot", it'd be quite crowded in that general area and it would probably be very difficult to, er, engage even one of the three peckers in use, let alone all three! XD
Load More Replies... TMTMTMTM 1 month ago
Well, isn't THAT a vivid metaphor. I suggest "mule" would be more appropriate, because they are sterile (except for some quite rare cases, I gather).
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
There have been cases of fertile mules. Since the males are normally gelded (as a matter of course), it's been cases of female mules getting pregnant.
Load More Replies... The unnamed one 1 month ago
The boss: It's high time for crime time! *does the wrong crime* Oh Sh!T!
#25
A chick at a pizza place took money out of the tip jar to pay for her extra toppings. She did this after screaming at the poor person working that she couldnt believe it was an extra 50 cents for more cheese. On my way home I saw her getting arrested, not sure for what, but I'm sure she had it coming.
Tropical Tarot 1 month ago (edited)
Okay folks, you can use /j or /s after your statement to indicate if it's a joke or sarcasm. Or an emoji. Save lots of time so people can complain more about typos.
Emilu 1 month ago
Because that's just what we need. More people complaining about typos/spelling. /s
Load More Replies... Bec 1 month ago
Drunk a*****e was rude to me when I was working in a drive thru- he literally had an open can of beer. While we were preparing his food I called the police, which were located just a block away. I was describing the truck and trying to get the plate # to dispatch, when the driver decided to pull into the parking lot 🙂 Police pulled right up next to him. I was worried about retribution, but fortunately nothing ever happened
Gracie Mae 1 month ago
This must be an old one--nowhere does extra ANYthing cost only 50 cents!
#26
Jerk kid in middle school kept trying to steal my cellphone (it was a cheap flip phone, but he'd do it just to annoy me). Our school had a rule that you couldn't have your phone out in class. Teacher left the classroom for a second to have a brief word with an administrator, jerk kid grabbed my phone. Teacher came back in a moment later and caught him red- handed with (my) phone out. She wouldn't believe it wasn't his phone. He got detention.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
If the teacher did believed him it wasn't his phone, then he would be admitting that he stole the phone. So he still would be in trouble.
#27
Was at a show jumping event and a little girl went up to a famous show jumper with her book of famous riders and asked him to sign it. She couldn’t find him in the book and asked if he could help her. He responded find it yourself and walked away. In his final round (after the incident) worth 100,000 dollars, first jump the horse stopped and he fell face first into the floor. Not going to lie I was laughing.
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
For those who don't know, show jumping is an equestrian event. The horses jump a prescribed pattern of obstacles, often referred to as "fences" in the horsey world.
SkyBlueandBlack 1 month ago
And if the horse refuses a fence, that's three faults but you keep going. If you fall off, though, you're out.
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Seadog 1 month ago
Went to an NHRA event as a VIP guest of the main sponsor. Met all of the drivers and crews. 3 drivers I especially wanted to meet was Shirley Muldowney, Connie Kalitta and Eddie Hill. Shirley wasn't there, Connie was awesome and Eddie was a complete jerk. He's the only driver that not only wouldn't sign but completely ignored our kids that so patiently waited to meet him. One guess who didn't win a single heat that weekend.
Marlene Ricker 1 month ago
Well, in this case I think the horse was teaching him a lesson for being mean to a little girl!
#28
The washers and dryers in my apartment building are run through Bluetooth and an app you download on your phone. I figured out that if I put my phone on airplane mode while simultaneously pressing the start button on the machine, the washer would start but I wouldn’t get charged. I was so proud, tried the same thing on the dryer and it worked. Went to get my clothes out of the dryer an hour later and everything was covered in melted Hershey kisses.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
As I say (mentally) to every store and website: No, I don't want your damned app!
Janissary35680 1 month ago
There's a bar of lye soap next to the rocks by the creek over that way. 🧺🧼🪨🚣
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
OP was wrong, but IMHO, it’s stupid to have to use an app to do laundry. I’m so old, I remember bringing a roll of quarters to the laundromat. There were never any connectivity errors, and we didn’t need an app, an account, a password, or two-factor authentication.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Heck, when I have to wash big bulky things like my dog's bedding or my giant fuzzy blanket (which has a wolf on it, naturally) I STILL go to a coin-op laundromat with several rolls of quarters XD
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Hassel Davidhoff 1 month ago
This is why I hate laundromats. You have to rely on human decency. And it's in short supply.
Karen Lyon 1 month ago
I like the karma, but I don't buy the story, frankly. The washers and dryers in my complex run the same way. If the phone is on airplane mode, the machines aren't detected.
Bi.Felicia 1 month ago
This reminds me of my àsshole entitled neighbors. I live in a building that is made up of 10 apartments and there is one coin operated washer and dryer for all 10 units. Most of the neighbors who use the laundry are respectful and courteous, except the couple in their late 20's. So each machine costs $1.50 per cycle and sometimes if drying heavier items, you may need to run the dryer twice. As someone who had to do their laundry at laundromats, where each machine costs at minimum, $4+ just to initiate a cycle, I def don't mind paying $3-$4.50 total. These losers ordered a replacement master key, that unlocks the coin box and gives them access to turn the machines on, by physically manipulating the mechanism switch. They're not just disrespectful thieves, they're rude/arrogant, ill-mannered & due to have their first child in a couple of weeks.😩
#29
Not instant but when I was a broke college student the highschoolers down the street sideswiped my car so bad my front door wouldn't open all the way and the mirror was gone. Confronted them but couldn't prove it. Couldn't afford to fix it.
The next week they come screeching out of the neighborhood while I'm studying next to the second floor window. They crash headlong into a tree and total their car. I has a comfortable view as all four of them got out and the driver was sobbing shirtless on the pavement till his mom came and cussed him out loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear.
JL 1 month ago
I hope you went down to tell her about what they did to your car. I imagine at that point she wouldn't need any evidence to believe you.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
Sometimes the court of public opinion is just lol.
Load More Replies... #30
In the UK, kids wear blazers and ties to school and a common bullying tactic that jerks used was to run up to kids, pull their ties so they get really tightly knotted.
On the bus home, the bus was really full, and I was standing in front of one such bully. He grabbed my tie JUST as the bus had to break sharply. He lost his footing and the only thing keeping him upright was the fact that he was holding my tie.
He had grabbed the wrong bit, it wasn't knotted, I simply untied it, he fell and it was the last time I was knotted.
RomanceRadish 1 month ago
We had to wear uniform shirts in school, to this day I won't wear a polo style because I hated the shirts so bad. The kids were still bullying snooty judgementals over the brand of jeans I wore, brand of shoes, even socks and accessories, and jacket.
Paige Merlin 1 month ago
Our secondary school was one of the only ones to have polos and jumpers instead but now the students wear shirts, ties and blazers. I don’t think the change was necessary and it definitely was hated by the kids.
Emilu 1 month ago
Ooh, I can see that being a huge deal. I went to a tie and blazer school but it was always like that (Mum went to the same school, and even when she went there it was tie and blazer. They even measured the girls' skirt length to make sure it was appropriate in her days 🙄). Changing from essentially casual to not wouldn't sit well with a lot of people, I'd think.
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Peter Bear 1 month ago
School uniforms are just another form of compliance, which is what leads eventually to fa$cism. I'm fine with having rules, but let kids be kids; uniforms don't stop bullying at all. Kids just find new things to bully each other over.
#31
Instant Karma isn’t always a bad thing...
About 16 years ago. In my tiny Dodge Neon. I was at a red light and I have no reason why but I gave a homeless person all of the change in my ashtray. The light turned green, and I made my left turn and a few seconds later I was hit head on by a full size truck.
When they were loading my car on the tow truck, the driver asked “How’s the driver”, and I simply said “I’m fine” he was shocked at 1st, and then once he realized I wasn’t kidding. He said he’d been towing for 20 years and never seen anyone survive this extreme of an accident... let alone be standing there talking to him while loading up the car.
Pretty sure I lived due to the good juju.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Ancient Chinese saying: "Coincidences sometimes permit themselves the luxury of occurring."
Kitsune 1 month ago
@hugo I don't understand how you are possibly confused about this? it makes perfect sense to me
Emilu 1 month ago
Hugo gets confused about a lot of things in this thread, the poor dear.
Load More Replies... highwaycrossingfrog 1 month ago
You know exactly what they mean, unless you're extremely slow picking up on context clues. You must find it very hard to deal with colloquial English in everyday life.
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#32
I worked at a grocery store. I was stocking Instant Noodles on a big sale display. All I had was a cheap small step 2 step stool, you know the one with the bar that runs across the top step? Reaching down to the stool from the shelf I was standing on, was about 3 feet .I had a 60% chance my foot would land on the top bar and collapse the thing. I asked a coworker to use his shoulder as a handle as I got down.
My supervisor called me a “princess” for getting assistance.
Soon after he was stocking the 2-Liter Coke bottles on a sales display. He tried to get down. He took the 40% success rate jump onto the step. Hit the top bar.The step ladder collapsed. He broke his arm and took down half of the display. I just clocked out and left before they told me to clean up the spilled soda all over the place.
highwaycrossingfrog 1 month ago (edited)
... So standard company practice was to stock by *climbing up the shelves*? That would have got anyone severely reprimanded by management for health and safety at the supermarket I worked at.
Sue User 1 month ago
Health and safety is thing of past in USA. Read The Jungle to understand where we were and where we are headed.
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#33
It was my own karma.
I was in eighth grade. I was standing on a bench when I watched some girl fall over in the yard, started laughing and pointing and then went to lean back onto the fence that was behind the bench. Turns out it had broken off where I was standing and I fell straight through and into the mud.
#34
My boss got Instant Karma for mocking me!
I had a day off work and as I was making breakfast, I accidentally sliced my finger tip with a bread knife. I wrapped it up, and went to Urgent Care. It didn't need stitches but the doctor put a couple steri-strips on it and said not to use it for a day or two and stay off a keyboard.
I went into work the next morning, told my boss that I had to stay off a keyboard for a couple days so I had to do some other kind of customer service that didn't involve typing. She said no problem.
As I walked out of the room I remembered I had to tell her something else and as I was walking back in, I heard her mocking my injury. Just as she finished, she accidentally slammed the door of the one ton safe on her hand. I laughed. She said yeah, I kind of deserved that.
She didn't break it but she couldn't use it so she had to call another supervisor to come in for the day so she could get it checked out. When the gauze came off my finger a couple days later and saw the strips holding it together she admitted that it did look kinda bad and she shouldn't have made fun. I accepted and brushed the incident off.
Thee8thsense 1 month ago
Years ago, I shared an apartment with a famous singer who had no shortage of ego. I was making coffee, with a French press, but having difficulty plunging it. She grabbed it from me, saying "you don't have the special touch", and proceeded to push the plunger so hard that the glass shattered, dousing her chest and stomach with nearly boiling water. Luckily, we grew aloe vera, so I broke some off of a plant and helped her apply it to her wounds.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
I hope the famous singer bought you a cup of coffee for now, and a new Bodum for later. And cleaned up the broken glass.
Load More Replies... veryvenasaur 1 month ago
Ooh this reminds me of this morning. I was being lazy about getting ready for class knowing I’d be a few minutes late and planning to slip in quietly and avoid being noticed. I shut my hand in the door as I was quietly closing it. I yelled in pain and was definitely noticed.
#35
I was riding the bus to school once. As it is picking up kids some guy passes the bus while the bus's red lights are flashing. A cop literally turns the corner the second after and pulls him over.
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago
Lately, it's quite troubling how often this happens(people running bus lights). Used to work at a rural school, cops were at the bus garage it seems weekly to get the tag #/description of a car. Those cameras ain't just for keeping students in line.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
It's not a new problem. I remember riding the school bus 30 years ago and seeing people do this. I always had to kind of creep around the bus to cross to my house so I wouldn't get hit.
Load More Replies... Never Snarky 1 month ago
Used to be a school bus driver. Women coasts through a stop sign and past my bus with my red lights flashing. Cop was right having stopped another car in an unrelated incident. You better believe i signed that complaint. When I (and most others) were driving kids, safety came absolutely first.
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
A lot of the school busses around here have signs that swing out when the bus is loading/unloading.
Papa 1 month ago
That's typical in my part of the world also, but people will still occasionally ignore them.
Load More Replies... Seadog 1 month ago
When I was young, bus that dropped the neighbors kids off. There was a guy in a VW that would come down the road and yank the E brake and slide up to the bus. Everyday. He started getting a little bolder. One day he does it but he's going so fast he can't stop before the bus, has to turn to keep from hitting the bus and ends up running off the road. That was the last day he did that stupid s**t.
The Other Guest 1 month ago
Had the same thing happen, only instead of a bus it was a crosswalk with about a dozen elementary school kids in it. Crossing guard literally threw herself in front of them & pushed them back out of harm's way. I've never before or since been so happy to see a cop car go after someone.
Marie BellaDonna 1 month ago
A good friend of mine is a cop. One of his deployments sometimes, is to follow a school bus, and watch for idiocy like this.
#36
A girl in school used to tease everyone and just be generally annoying. She was tossing this stress ball around and aimed it at this one kids head. Someone yelled "look out" at him and so he looked up, saw the ball coming at him, and put up his hands in self defense. It bounced off his arms and back at the girl and hit her right in the mouth. It was a soft squishy stress ball so it didn't hurt her, but we all openly laughed at her and her surprised expression so she sat down quietly from embarrassment. She still kept being annoying but she stopped throwing things at people's heads.
Teresa Spanics 1 month ago
Good for KARMA! Sooner or later, that annoying girl will mess with the wrong person or group of people and find out the hard way not to be annoying to others!
#37
Redneck driving a lifted diesel Ford F-250, thinks it’s a race car and tries to “roll coal” on my Japanese car.
He wasn’t quick enough to pass me so he failed to cover me in smoke like he wanted, still tries to pass me and ends up not being able to hit the brakes soon enough and hits a median and destroyed his truck.
Lady Eowyn 1 month ago
Rolling coal (also spelled rollin' coal) is the practice of modifying a diesel engine to deliberately emit large amounts of black or grey diesel exhaust, containing soot and incompletely combusted diesel. Rolling coal is used as a form of anti-environmentalism protest. In some jurisdictions the practice is … That's all I copied. If it's not illegal it should be. It's nasty.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago (edited)
"Rolling coal," as a behavior, is a good example of extreme douchebaggery.
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Hassel Davidhoff 1 month ago
Anyone that does this rolling coal BS is revealing to the rest of us that they are an unintelligent, downright stupid redneck with a tiny phallus.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
It's impressive that they feel comfortable having that small of a d**k, but honestly it's just not ok that they advertise it in public like that.
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#38
Walking down the San Antonio Riverwalk. Guy in front of us gets pooped on by a bird. Friend turns to me and says, “sucks to suck!” Friend literally gets pooped on as well, right at this moment.
Emilu 1 month ago (edited)
Supposedly, getting shat on is meant to be a sign of good luck. I think that this was just coined by someone who got shat on and tried to play it off, because being shat on by random birds isn't particularly enjoyable. (Well, it's not exactly fun being shat on by non-random birds either, but at least mine have small poo.) Edit: BP -- we're mostly all adults here. Even the non-adults can handle the word 'poo'. You don't need to censor it.
Dave Baxter 1 month ago
Emilu, I've been saying for years, how much I admire the first person to convince their friends that the obvious bad luck of being shåt on by a bird was really good luck 👌
Load More Replies... Howl's sleeping castle 1 month ago (edited)
I have a vague memory of this incident. I was probably 4-5 at that time. We went for a picnic and my family was standing under a tree , eating ice-cream. I remember my dad snatched my cone and threw it away. I started crying. But soon I forgot about it because I got another. Years later i found out a bird had pooped on my icecream and I was about to eat it.
Marie BellaDonna 1 month ago
I was sitting out back of my work, on a break. A huge flock of starlings flew overhead, and I got pooped on. TWICE. One hit my shoe, and the other right on the chest of my shirt! I guess I was double lucky that day? 😂 Oh, and there was the time I was sitting on my back steps, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, just minding my business noodling on my laptop, and a huge bird cràp landed SPLAT RIGHT ON MY KEYBOARD. I looked up at the sky and was like "W*F?? It's after midnight!! You're supposed to be asleep!!" 😂
#39
I was driving home on the highway during a horrible blizzard at night. The roads were extremely slick and dangerous, I was going about 30 mph. My daughter was a newborn and it was the first time I had ever driven in the snow with her. I was nervous.
Some jerk in a huge truck is doing 65, passing everyone in the slow lane and just being really risky and ignorant to the conditions and other drivers in general. He passed me, and I was like, "You're gonna crash bro."
Right at that moment, the dude fishtails, loses control, and crashes into a ditch. Don't worry, I'm not a sadist, he was completely fine. I know this because I saw him emerge from the truck and do a little angry freak out dance. His truck wasn't fine.
That's what you get for endangering others during a blizzard!
Geoffrey Scott 1 month ago (edited)
"Ha-HA! I have 4 wheel drive!", which just seems to stuff you further into the ditch. Seen it countless times. Everyone I know here in rural Michigan thinks I'm somehow deficient just running snows with 2wd. They're right, probably only get 19mpg vs their 14 mpg.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
Yes, all the four-wheel-drive in the world won't save you from having no traction. I've seen it plenty of times in upstate New York.
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GalPalAl 1 month ago
I live in South Florida and and this kind of dangerous driving happens constantly. Am sick of people being reckless. I don't want to wish them to have an accident but I do always hope that when it happens, i hope it doesn't involve a person, animal or another car. And if they manage to get hit or killed in the process, I wouldn't have sympathy for them since they never learn the lesson or stop endangering others.
#40
One day a few years ago I was grabbing McDonalds near work to eat something last second before my shift. It was one of those two lane microphone deals. I blatantly finish ordering before the other lane and he stomps on the gas to cut me off.
His car breaks down right there, and I get to take my rightful turn in line.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
Odd wording, but not technically incorrect. It does technically mean to be unsubtle.
Load More Replies... Emilu 1 month ago
Most of our Maccas drive-throughs have the two mics now, and most people will do anything to make sure that they get to the pay queue before you do. I'm just like "eh, it's food. I'll get it eventually." Enough things piss me off in life without getting pissed over someone pushing in line at a Maccas.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
We need stronger education. At least the public schools & their common core are teaching three-syllable words even if students have no idea what they mean or how to use them.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
The usage is not technically incorrect... but it is moderately offensive. Who the hell uses blatantly in this context?
Load More Replies... #41
Helping my brother move out of his apt after grad school. In parking garage trying to reposition the car to load up the tv or something. Some girl wants to get past us so I start backing up, but she’s crowding me, like inches from my bumper. Anyway, she gets past and we load up. As we leave the parking lot, she’s in the middle of the street having T-boned someone. Felt bad for the poor person she hit.
#42
Multiple times every day teaching preschool where I remind a kid of a rule, they ignore it, then 30 seconds later end up crying because they hurt themselves, i.e. running in the classroom, going down a slide face first and smashing into the ground. The upside is that they learn a lot more from getting hurt than they do from me nagging. Little buggers.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
Natural consequences are a parent's (or, in this case, a caregiver's) best ally!
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
It's true. I remember having a 'toy' when I was growing up. I say toy, because it was one of those children's toys that they never should have sold for children. Melts metal (I suspect a tin/solder composition or something similar) and makes neat little charms. I melt the metal. It's got a lid on it, so I figure it's safe to tilt the container upside down. Spoiler: It was not safe. In this instance both me and my parents suffered from natural consequences. Me for tipping a container of liquid metal upside down, and them for ever leaving me alone with a device that melts metal.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 month ago
When I was that age I kept bullying the cat. Mother told me stop doing that or the cat will lash out. I didn't listen and got badly scratched in the face. Ran crying to mum who said "serves you right". Stopped being mean to the cat.
Paula Smith 1 month ago
Or don’t come running to me to me if you break your leg!
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Karen Lyon 1 month ago
My youngest nephew, when he was about 3, was with my SIL when she went grocery shopping one day. He crawled out of the back window while she was gathering bags and stuff and shimmied down the side of the van. When she told him he didn't think that was very safe, he replied, "Oh, Mom. I did it yesterday, and I didn't die." As a long time Kindergarten/Transitional Kindergarten teacher, I can tell you that is pretty much their attitude. So, yeah, it does often take them getting hurt to learn how to play safely. 🤷♀️
#43
Drunk guy at the bar started yelling at the bartender for cutting him off. Called her names multiple times and then tried to scoot his bar stool back. Instead it caught on the carpet and he fell backwards like a tree falling. It made a very audible thud and of course, everyone stops what they're doing to look. He laid there for a minute, got up and stumbled to the door as everyone continued to stare at him. Definitely never saw him again.
#44
I banged by knee on the corner for a hotel bed and my husband was laughing while he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. As soon as he walks out of the bathroom, his hit his knee the exact same way and I got to laugh.
#45
I was playing volleyball with a group of my friends a few years back. One of the guys who is just an acquaintance of mine was known for being unreasonably angry. Throughout the whole game he’s being a total jerk to everyone, yelling and screaming, citing the rules and saying everyone is breaking them. Eventually we all had enough so we just unanimously kept egging him on and acting dumb on purpose to fluster him. At one point he gets so mad that he got on both his knees and started screaming, while he does this a lone pigeon swoops by and poops on his face. The rest of us laughed about it for weeks.
#46
My cousin parked her car on the street near my house. My neighbor came out and yelled about how that was her spot. My cousin simply moved her car rather than argue. A few hours later one of the children who live on our street ran into my neighbors car in that exact spot.
Edit: kid was riding a bike. Should have mentioned that.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
It was funnier when I imagined a group of rampant children just running face-first into the parked car, but the bicycle version is still pretty good.
#47
My brother tried to shoot a soccer ball at me at full speed but he hit the edge of the sidewalk so perfectly that the ball changed direction into his face knocking him out. That was fun.
#48
One time in middle school, this guy who was relatively new at our school was making fun of a girl in our class who fell in the hallway in-between classes; coincidentally this was a girl I had a crush on. He was a little bit of a class clown, and was mocking her, making her look stupid and clumsy. Apparently, he misjudged his footing, and while attempting to jokingly ape the way she had fallen, *actually fell for real*, and landed squarely on his back in front of everybody. He broke his arm in the process. Passing him by in the hallway, I saw him just lying there, surrounded by adults and staring up at the ceiling, face completely expressionless.
He didn't come back to school. Pretty sure he moved after that. I would have too.
#49
I was walking thru an incredibly icy parking lot when I slipped and fell on my butt. A truck full of guys drove by and rolled down their windows to yell out mean things to me and laugh at me.
They went up the row and took the turn too fast and crashed into a light pole. I laughed at them as I walked past their smoking truck.
Bill Swallow 1 month ago
"If you don't want to be treated like a Jerk - Don't act like a Jerk."
Load More Replies... #50
In DC:
Guy sped right past me in the K Street tunnel towards Georgetown, cut me off, and then got rung up by a speed camera just seconds later.
He then proceeded to floor it after the first camera caught him and promptly got caught by the trick speed camera not even a half block further just before the light.
I'm not generally a fan of DC's speed cameras, but seeing his brake lights blast red after getting lit up by not just two, but four successive flash bulbs was gratifying.
nottheactualphoto 1 month ago
I got busted by that camera in the K Street tunnel; I was doing maybe 5mph over the speed limit. This was the first time I'd gone through the tunnel when it wasn't bumper to bumper.
murmelinpaiva 1 month ago
I got a camera ticket from DC once, and I wasn't even there. Hubby was driving my car to a conference. I decided it wasn't worth fighting it.
#51
A girl laughed at my wife and I on a train . When the train stopped, she tripped onto the guy in front of her and got a nosebleed.
#52
At a concert my mom accidently stepped on a ladys foot, and she said sorry multiple times, but the lady very drunk wouldn't let it go and started a fight with my mom. Very bad idea, my moms ex mma. Straight knockout. My mom met that lady again a year ago at a event for her work, and apparently the lady stopped drinking from what happened that night, being told by her friends she wouldn't leave my mom alone even after countless times of apologizing. Maybe it was good karma?
Lyone Fein 1 month ago
That is the very meaning of karma. Karma is simply cause and effect.
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#53
My father yelling at my mother in an airport after she asked him to stop walking so quickly because her feet hurt. He turned around right into all the security barriers and they all fell down. He was really embarrassed and we could see he realised then how childish he was being.
Brian Droste 1 month ago
I am a short person but I am a fast walker myself. If I am with someone I usually have to slow down to match their speed.
Bored Trash Panda 1 month ago (edited)
I am a fast walker to, but when I am with my husband who walks slow due to messed up ankles, I slow down and match his speed. Or when I am with my disabled mom. It's called being considerate to other people. People like OPs dad are jerks.
Load More Replies... #54
My youngest sister thought it would be funny to kick the back of my leg when I wasn't paying attention. She missed. She also lost her footing and fell backward, slamming both the back of her head and her elbow on the hard wood floor.
#55
An elderly guy had a brand new debit card that wasn't activated. Yelled and screamed at me and the store manager about how signing his name makes it work(?)
Anyways, he tried to leave the gas station and immediately got pulled over for not only 'wreckless driving' (he sped out of the station), the cop also loudly informed him he was getting a ticket for no seatbelt.
My manager and I havent seen him again, he was a regular, not only for his own gas, but also all the girls he was/is a sugar daddy for.
Edit: Sorry for the confusion. He would just show up and pay for gas for them. It was always the same 2-3 college aged women. And no, we aren't door to door.
Edit 2: Yes, wreckless driving is the goal and my autocorrect doesn't want to acknowledge reckless driving as a thing. I'm leaving it there.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 1 month ago
Robert Plant wrote a song called “Wreckless Love.” 🤷🏻♀️
#56
My school was having a bake sale and this girl wanted red velvet cake but only had her credit card. So I bought one for her without any expectations and she got me a port of subs gift card for 10 bucks the next day.
carlo custodio 1 month ago
KARMA is karma and it could be good or bad. It is like "luck"; it could be good or bad
Load More Replies... #57
Someone stole my cell phone when I was downtown, I took off running after him, caught up to him in the middle of the street he saw my face and tossed my phone back to me. As I started walking away he got hit by the side of a bus.
The unnamed one 1 month ago
in one of the final destination movies a girl gets hit by a bus after yelling at two dudes "I can do better!" she then got hit by the bus and died
Tanya Mattson 1 month ago
He didn't get hit by the side of a bus. He hit the side of a bus.There is a difference.
#58
Was at a party and my buddy came up to me and clanked the bottom of his beer bottle on the top of mine. Normally the vibrations cause your beer to foam up and come out the top but this time it caused the neck of my bottle to break. As he was standing there laughing at me, the bottom of his bottle broke of and fell to the ground along with all the beer. Instant karma.
What do you think ?
Angie May 1 month ago
Thank god Hugo was here to smugly point out every instance of improper grammar! I could hardly read them without his guidance.
Bill Swallow 1 month ago
So we vote him down and vote other comments up, so keep them from being what readers see first.
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow 1 month ago
"Justice and the universe go hand in hand." What an absolute crock of sh!t! Have you *looked* at the news in the last 10 years?
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
You know, I highly suspect that neither of their paychecks were worth that much. I'm even a little suspicious that they didn't even make money at all.
Load More Replies... Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
My brother once got instant karma. There was a coffee mat with a B on it, and I hold it up to my baby cousin, telling him "b". He repeats "buh" a few times, my brother takes the mat and goes "B. For bonk" and hits me on the head. Cousin, thinking that's what it's for, takes the mat... and gives my brother a bonk on the head.
Nova Rook 1 month ago
One time at college I paid for a twix at a vending machine and the it got caught in the twisty thing and so didn't drop. It was a very busy school. One week later I paid for another twix and two dropped! I wonder to this day if one of them was my original and no one had paid for a twix for the whole week.
JL 1 month ago
The mildest of karmas, but it entertained me. I was in line at a red light on the way to work. Guy in front of me was impatient and angry waiting for the green. He turned off into the donut shop parking lot we were stopped near so he could slingshot around the building and come out on the side street. The instant he turned into the lot, the light turned green. I made the turn at the intersection and he got to the street just as I was driving by and it was obvious he was not a happy camper. All his efforts to be a jerk and get ahead and he ended up further back in traffic than when he started.
Bec 1 month ago
I had a similar pleasure yesterday, jerk in a mid-level modern muscle car was riding my butt in a 35 MPH. There are several side streets you can cut left on in the neighborhood but I like to go up to the main light. He bet on cutting left but I still ended up in front of him, and he had to wait on me to make a right turn
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UKGrandad 1 month ago
This article's current title is: "46 Stories Of Instant Karma Happening Fast To Bring Justice And Satisfaction". Would it be too pedantic to point out that instant karma by definition happens fast?
Angie May 1 month ago
Thank god Hugo was here to smugly point out every instance of improper grammar! I could hardly read them without his guidance.
Bill Swallow 1 month ago
So we vote him down and vote other comments up, so keep them from being what readers see first.
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow 1 month ago
"Justice and the universe go hand in hand." What an absolute crock of sh!t! Have you *looked* at the news in the last 10 years?
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
You know, I highly suspect that neither of their paychecks were worth that much. I'm even a little suspicious that they didn't even make money at all.
Load More Replies... Sam Trudeau 1 month ago
My brother once got instant karma. There was a coffee mat with a B on it, and I hold it up to my baby cousin, telling him "b". He repeats "buh" a few times, my brother takes the mat and goes "B. For bonk" and hits me on the head. Cousin, thinking that's what it's for, takes the mat... and gives my brother a bonk on the head.
Nova Rook 1 month ago
One time at college I paid for a twix at a vending machine and the it got caught in the twisty thing and so didn't drop. It was a very busy school. One week later I paid for another twix and two dropped! I wonder to this day if one of them was my original and no one had paid for a twix for the whole week.
JL 1 month ago
The mildest of karmas, but it entertained me. I was in line at a red light on the way to work. Guy in front of me was impatient and angry waiting for the green. He turned off into the donut shop parking lot we were stopped near so he could slingshot around the building and come out on the side street. The instant he turned into the lot, the light turned green. I made the turn at the intersection and he got to the street just as I was driving by and it was obvious he was not a happy camper. All his efforts to be a jerk and get ahead and he ended up further back in traffic than when he started.
Bec 1 month ago
I had a similar pleasure yesterday, jerk in a mid-level modern muscle car was riding my butt in a 35 MPH. There are several side streets you can cut left on in the neighborhood but I like to go up to the main light. He bet on cutting left but I still ended up in front of him, and he had to wait on me to make a right turn
Load More Replies... UKGrandad 1 month ago
This article's current title is: "46 Stories Of Instant Karma Happening Fast To Bring Justice And Satisfaction". Would it be too pedantic to point out that instant karma by definition happens fast?
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