“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
This post may include affiliate links.
It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
Jeez. My husband wears his heart on his sleeve. He's all guy, and he crys. I can't watch A Dog's Purpose when he's around because it rips him up. I sob at it too but I like a good, non family related, cry occasionally.
Load More Replies...
When one of my cats had died, that got me starting to cry on the train. Ticket control came around, and I couldn't stop, couldn't say anything else, and he eventually just left (he knew me, I had a students' ticket anyway, ...). Not ashamed, Milo was a better person than most humans I got to know can dream of being.
This 💯. I've seen more women utilise the "toxic masculinity" tropes than I have seen guys do it.
Load More Replies...
I remember me and my dad crying together when we got the news of my grandfather passing away. I want to punch this lady so f**king badly. It is ok to cry. It does not make you less of anything.
mEn sHoUldN't cRy. My dad wept when his beloved cat, Peppermint, had to be put down at the age of 3 because of a severe heart murmur. I hadn't heard him cry like that since his wife passed away. Shove off.
I'm so sorry about Peppermint. If you are able to, give your dad a hug. I feel like hugging my dad and my cats now. :(
Load More Replies...
Thats funny! ... All Crying {as well as breathing} did was make me lose respect for this person!!!
Yeah lets go back to the days where we kept it all inside and just beat our wives and children for emotional release, cause that was super f*****g healthy. Moron
Love it when men can cry. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel things. I am sorry you've been fed messages like the above s**t for your whole life, it's wrong. Feeling your feelings is a huge thing, and if you can, that's awesome. If you can't, I really hope you can find the space to do so - you deserve nothing less. Stay well.
This is exceptionally stupid and makes me so mad. Discounting mental health like this is such a dangerous road to go down and the worst part is that you can't rationalize with irrational people...and what was the other one...you can't fix stupid
Mental health is not propaganda. My dad cried when my sister died, and no one lost respect for him. And yes i know this for sure.
I like how it's almost reasonable. Almost. What a serious tragedy is, should be decided by the person experiencing it. Most people won't cry in public anyway, because they don't want to feel that vulnerable in public. It is true that some self declared alpha males will loose respect, when they see you cry, but most other people simply won't care, are compassionate or you will gain their respect, because they know they aren't brave enough to cry in public themselves.
Damn, you should see me! I'm a 71 year old Air Force Viet Nam vet with early dementia. Lately, there are days when I cry off and on all day. Not because I'm sad but usually because I've read or seen something heart warming. Baby goats playing? Get me a tissue. Any animal being outside for the first time or just a beautiful landscape will set me off. Thing is, I invariably feel better afterward. Crying is cathartic. Don't ever be ashamed to cry. You aren't afraid to laugh, are you? Emotions are natural and to stifle them is never good. You were born with this pressure relief system built in. Use it!
Update: The crying stopped when I quit alcohol.
Load More Replies...
Well I just lost any respect I might have had for Megha. Does that count for something?
Ric Flair was one of the biggest criers I ever met. I don't know anyone who would argue that he wasn't "manly".
Macho Man did this interview with Arsenio I think about how he cries. It's very good.
Load More Replies...
How does one crying make them lose respect for others? I would love to know the theory behind that.
Yes, men should absolutely bottle up their emotions and lash out later. /S
Bottle up your pain for years and years and don't ever ask for help because that's weak. Instead behave like a *real* man by self-medicating with booze and drugs, having angry outbursts at people, and then meeting an early death by your own hand. Otherwise you will turn gay or become a woman or something. (Yeah, of all the horrible messages being fed to men, this has to be the one I hate most).
I call b******t! Nothing can emasculate a man more than ridiculous rules imposed on what it is to be a man. There is no One Way to be a man, just as there is no One Way to be a woman, or a Human Being for that matter. If there were, we should absolutely forget about God of any kind, as God IS creativity, meaning diversity, and not an assembly line. If there is only one way, then we are machines and there is no God.
The biggest take from this post is that Megha does not like anybody being a bigger drama queen than she is. Especially a man because his tears tend to be genuine.
Yeah, but check out the likes - 199 out of 236,000 = 0.08%, pretty much no one agrees with her!
i don't care what people say i'm a guy and i cry nothing wrong with that we are human after all not emotionless machines too many guys unaliving themselves because they feel they cant express their emotions and keep them bottled up its ok to not be this really goes for all genders really
She has garbage opinions, I hope no one was wounded by her brainless heartless rant
How I'd like to respond to this ignorant AF post would get me banned from BP
it's healthy to cry! i mean lets not go overboard on the tears - sometime syou have to grow a pair and duck it up..... but emotions are real - lets that flow through
I grew up being told showing emotions means weakness, hence my user name. I refuse to be labeled and I love a man who can cry!
Wait till she hear what the patriarchy thinks women should do, or rather, don't do
the f**k, dude, okay so your telling me that its not okay to cry unless some died why the f**k would that be okay
Exhibit A-Z of why men rely on toxic coping mechanisms instead of acknowledging that they feel anything that isn't anger.
and just like that, I lost all respect I could ever have had for Megha despite not even knowing her. :)
The irony being that comments like this make me lose respect for HIM! More than crying EVER could!
Believe me when I say I respect you all and myself more than I respect Megha. P.s. I DON'T respect Megha! SMH!!!
She’s right though. Anytime I’ve ever made the mistake of crying in front of anyone, that relationship has changed for the worse as they now see me as weak. Whether they want to admit or not, their actions after have reflected this. Anyone who has seen me cry has used it as a weapon.
I try to avoid crying because it makes me feel like a child and I hate myself for doing it. Ik it's not super healthy but I'd rather not cry than be humiliated by myself and everyone around me
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
This one is actually quite funny. I read this as, " I, a very masculine man,do not interact with women because I'm scared of my wife ."
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
Note: this post originally had 56 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... 
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies...
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies...
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies...
I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies... I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies... Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies... I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
