We have here the most comical collection of clever horse puns, best horse memes, and funny horse jokes. From horses, mares, ponies, and centaurs, everyone has been covered in this punny stable. Now, you might ask why we are targeting horses. Let us explain.
Horses, the flawless, majestic, and beautiful beasts whose hoofbeats match the beats of your heart, whose flowy manes remind you of your warmest dreams, with noble eyes that peer right into your soul. The tireless helpers of humans on whose backs civilizations were built.
This collection is to honor these magical and historic beats. You will find everything right below, from horse pun names and horse jokes for kids, along with Instagram captions for your horse pics. First, let us know more about horse puns.
Why are Horse Puns or Horse Jokes so Popular?
Horses, the relentless poop producers, the professionals of getting spooked at their own farts, then having a misstep in the process and generating a vet bill equal to your trust fund. Powerful beasts capable of running all day relentlessly, yet lacking the ability to puke and just deciding to die after eating one too many apples.
Aaaah, the duality of the blue-blooded steed is undoubtedly an inspiration for clever horse puns. It is this duality itself that has made these puns and horse jokes so popular. And since we haven’t already talked about these four-legged, odd-toed rascals, it’s about time we dedicate an article to them.
You know the homages we like the most, so get ready for a terrific article full of only the cleverest puns, the funniest horse jokes, and the best horse memes! And just like the duality of these beasts, the puns are both corny yet clever, silly yet smart!
What are the Funniest Horse Puns?
Scroll just a couple of hoofbeats below, and you will find the funniest puns about these dramatic creatures. Even thinking about the hilarity soon to unfold before your eyes makes us laugh to the point where our voices get a little horse.
Oh, and talking about little horses, did you know that ponies are Satan’s pets? Haven’t you heard this about the mystical ponies before? Then just talk about it with anyone possessing such a deceptively cute furry demon, and they’ll definitely confirm this notion, as will some of our funny horse jokes!
Their bigger brothers (in fact, the bigger, the more kindhearted) are a bit closer to divinity, their gracefulness is matched with clumsiness, and their couldn’t-care-less attitude really shines through when they decide to release a massive cloud of noxious fumes from their behind straight into your nostrils. Charming! As charming, in fact, as these silly puns themselves!
Alrighty, then, we’re definitely hot to trot for some hilarious puns, and hopefully, you are too! You’ll find our picks of the funniest horse puns, and trust us, some of them are exactly like they came from a horse’s mouth! Meaning, awesome!
After you’re done reading these cool puns and are neighing from the hilarity, give the puns that have tickled your fancy a vote. Also, share this article with your friends and that one horse-obsessed girl you went to school with.
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We had a government-employed doctor in our area who was half horse and half man. He was from the centaur for disease control.
I bought a horse on the spur of the moment. It was a bad decision, and now I am saddled with tons and tons of responsibilities!
Hay-larious Horse Pun: Instagram Captions
Sometimes, all you need is a horse pun or a funny horse joke to use as an Instagram caption for your horse pictures. And here are the most hay-larious ones. Just copy and paste it on your gram!
- “Hold on to what makes you happy. If it tries to buck you off, hold on tighter.”
- “Some of us never outgrew our horse phase.”
- “You are the mane event in my life.”
- “This girl runs on coffee and horses.”
- “Boyfriends come and go, but horses are forever.”
- “Horses keep me stable.”
- “A dog may be man’s best friend, but the horse wrote history.”
- “My horse knows more about me than me.”
- “Galloping through life with grace.”
- “Forever horse crazy, always horse proud.”
- “I never met a horse pun I didn’t neigh-bore.”
- “I’m a little horseradish, but I promise I’m worth the sauce.”
- “Why did the horse go to the party? Because it had a tray of assorted hors d’oeuvre.”
Horses are avid readers of books by J.K. Rowling. Their favorite book is Harry Trotter and Hoofblood Prince.
I saw my brother riding uncomfortably on a tall horse. I told him to get off his high horse!
Before the much-anticipated race, my jockey was very anxious. So I told him not to be impatient and hold on to his horses!
A little horse borrowed some money from his big brother and couldn't pay him back for quite a while. So, one day his brother became impatient and told him, "pony up!"
The horse stalls at the racetrack were labeled F, E, D, B, and A. I got confused, and when asked about it, they said it was because no one had ever bet on a seahorse.
Just before the race, the young horse was extremely charged up as it ate a little bit of haywire!
Why did the horses always miss the support acts at gigs? They are only interested in the mane attraction.
The farm owner has a couple of horses and a huge sum of money in his bank. He is definitely financially stable!
The stallion was an avid adventurer and has visited many places across the world. He surely is a globe-trotter!
The man who owned the riding school was in dire straits as his business always kept falling down!
My neighbor has a horse who always neighs loudly at night. She's a night-mare to live with!
I once got in a bit of trouble and decided to ask my horse for advice. My friend told me not to because horses are a couple of neigh sayers.
I saw my horse watching TV, so I asked him what was his favorite show. He replied, 'The Neigh-bors'.
The arrogant horse was picked on by the other animals of the farm as they thought the horse would stirrup trouble any day.
A Bronco went to a shop to buy a packet of juice, but the manager kicked him out because he just had one buck.
Princess Elsa never really feared any horses. Probably because the colt never bothered her anyway.
Horses are extremely fond of playing indoor games. They usually spend their leisure time playing stable tennis!
The bad horse didn't want to answer any question that was asked of him, so he kept on stalling!
The amateur artist displayed a lot of horse paintings and drawings as he was eager to mount an exhibit!
The horse was shown the red card and asked to leave the field while playing soccer as he would foal very often!
I recently bought a painting from a farmer who only draws pictures of horses and cows. His name I heard is Oscar Moo-neigh.
I finally scolded my horse a lot because it ate all of the bedding in its stable, and it was the last straw.
I had this recurring dream that I had become a horse since last week. I had it tonight too. Now it's six nights on the trot.
After saving up his salary, the horse decided to buy the car he dreamt of. It was a Fjord Focus!
How did the horse with the speech impediment feel after corrective surgery went wrong? A bit filly.
What did the Italian horse say when he heard there was a speed between trot and gallop? I canter believe it!
Did you see how good that new blacksmith was at fitting horseshoes? He absolutely nailed it!
What’s the difference between a horse and the weather? One is reined up and the other rains down.
When the little horse stayed up late at night, his father shouted at him, "Little foal go to bed as it is pasture bedtime".
Before an important race, the champion horse prefers eating bread. His favorite is the thoroughbred!
The newly married horses were looking for a place to stay. They finally went to a hotel and booked the bridle suit!
The little train which was named 'Pony' could gallop really fast as it had a very powerful horsepower engine!
If a horse is asked to cast his vote for the Senate of the horses, it usually had the option of a hay or a neigh!
The horse, while climbing a mountain, fell down and said to his friend, "Help me please, I cannot giddyup".
A horse in the jungle lost all his clothes and ran around to find some. Whenever the other horses saw him, they pointed at him and shouted, "Neigh-kid! neigh-kid!"
In a game of poker, the horse kept on losing but won the game in the last round. It was amazing how the stables turned in the end!
A horse won the horse racing competition at school and became quite popular overnight. He was the new stud of the school.
In a race, a horse named 'Black Beauty' beat the odds to win the race. Guess she was indeed the dark horse!
The teacher horse who specialized in teaching philosophy displayed a glass half-filled with water and asked his students, "Is the glass hood empty or hoof filled?"
The young horse was ambitious to join the top colleges of the country. He wanted to join the neigh-vy league!
The young pony was wildly excited about being called up to the sports rally as he thought it would be a big end-horse-ment!
Just before the final race, one horse wanted to quit, so his friend asked him if it was an equest-ionable decision!
The horse bought a house, and he decided to pay his mortgage in in-stallion-ments for ten years!
When the Jedi Knight was to embark on a long adventure, his horse wished him, "May the horse be with you".
While visiting a shopping mall, the horse had to visit the loo, so he went to the bathroom stall-ion.
Why do horses fart when they buck? Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.
Horses love rock music, and they adore the band, Queen. Their favorite song is 'Crazy Little Thing Colt Love'.
Quit Horsing Around and Giddyup with Horse Puns
So, what did you think of these puns? Did they leave you neighing with laughter? Or did you find the most hay-larious Instagram caption and are gramming it right now? Well, if this punny collection made you horse with laughter, check out more horse humor in our article about horses who reply to work-related emails and giddyup!
