“If You Need It Explained, You Won’t Understand”: 50 Posts From ‘Delusions Of Adequacy’ (New Pics)
There's a little bit of geekiness in all of us. Who doesn't have that one thing about which they strangely know a lot and pride themselves on being experts? Whether it’s gardening, the Harry Potter universe, or video games, it’s not such a bad thing to channel our inner Sheldon Cooper sometimes. Sure, he's a bit socially awkward, but that doesn’t take away from his charm.
The subreddit we’re looking at today is exactly that—nerdy and a little bit challenged in the adequacy department. Its 17.6k members, or as they call themselves, delusionists, are entitled to discuss everything from Sigmund Freud to Star Wars. So without further ado, we invite you to scroll through the best that the subreddit "Delusions of Adequacy” has to offer.
This post may include affiliate links.
Be Nice, Don't Be Like Me
Unless they add "... In english... i'm waiting for the Latin version"
Load More Replies...This goes with anything; movies/series, games... actually, any kind of hobby, come to think of it.
There are some books that you wish you could read for the first time again.
Pride and Prejudice for me. I was so in love with the story that I put off reading the last chapter for over two weeks.
Load More Replies...Great advice! I quit an online book group because of the pretentious snobbery. If you were reading anything but "literature" they couldn't be bothered to engage with you.
The pretentiousness in the literary world is too damn high. Books are great. No further discussion is necessary. :)
Load More Replies...Also the barrier created by the difference in language is real. Functionally speaking, a book written in modern-day Japanese is easier for me to read than a book written in sufficiently old English, and not coincidentally, I have read more of the former than the latter.
I Hate All Reality TV On Principle, But I Would Watch The Hell Out Of This!
There should be an opposing team that keep lapping them
Load More Replies...Offer a cash prize of $1 Billion dollars to the first one who makes it there!
Why so cheap? Offfer three Gazillion dollars and world's presidency. Either way they won't win.
Load More Replies...You'd have people pretending to be Flat Earthers just for the free trip.
No no, they'l be IQ tested, anyone 50+ won't be considered.
Load More Replies...I have asked flat earthed dozens of times where the edges are so I can see how the oceans are held in. I’M STILL AWAITING AN ANSWER. (I’m dying to know!)
They might claime a dome, affirment(?), that the South Pole is the ice wall holding the water in, or just that there are more land further away.
Load More Replies...Also, Paddington 2 Is A Great Movie, In Case Anyone's Wondering
Aww, I had a pom, miss you Coco aka Coconutter, you precious furry teddy
One must wonder what exactly "Delusions of Adequacy" means. Well, it’s an ironic variation of a previous term, “delusions of grandeur,” which is a person’s false belief about their own greatness and skills. When you think that someone has delusions of adequacy, you're actually insulting them by saying that they're incorrect to even think they could be competent enough to do or think of something. This definition is linked to the type of content the members of this page are sharing, like “feigned intelligentsia” and “blatant dumb-assery.”
Not All Who Meme Are Lost
Were We All The Monsters All Along? Short Answer: Yes
My mum's dog would chase tennis balls for half an hour or so, then run off and hide the ball when he'd had enough. Remembered the hiding place and go retrieve it next walk. Very smart dog
My dog would get it about 3 times, then decide if you couldn't hold onto things, you could go get it yourself.
Load More Replies...Sometimes ya just gotta say no more. My dog will keep playing and then whimper/whine going up the stairs because he's played too hard and got sore. He's a six year old GSD, so he should know better by now but somebody has to be the adult.
Load More Replies...Our cat likes to play fetch. When we are not around or when we can't play with him he will play by himself. He takes the ball to the top of the staircase then lets it roll to the bottom. He then chases after it. He does this for a while and has a lot of fun.
My cat does this too. It's his one shining point of brilliance. In all other things, he's a one-orange-braincelled doofus.
Load More Replies...I used to have to take the stick with us in the car when we finished playing with it with my heart dog. She LOVED her sticks! Especially if swimming was involved. I had a bunch of sticks in my car behind the driver's seat as she would forget them on the ride home from the park!
My dogs face all the time. One time we threw the ball for him over 100 times in a day. Still wasn't enough. Hahahaha!
Our dog once played fetch for so long he shredded both his duclaws (dewclaws?). My dad had to carry him home from the park.
I don't know why you got down voted. Our cat does this with foam nerf balls.
Load More Replies...My cat dropped a toy mousie on my head in the middle of the night. I threw it across the room to get him to leave...and that's how I learned my cat can play fetch.
Sounds Fair To Me
This isn't just done with gender, it is done with race, political party, ... People add in this even though it has no bearing on the subject at hand. And a "new one" that bored panda engages in all the time is generation. You look at them say something like "boomers" think this or are wrong about that. When you get to the statements you find that they have very little to do with being that generation, and everything to do with different personality types or are in fact non generational at all.
One of my biggest pet peeves EVER: when I refer to someone as "Dr. ___" (and I haven't specified their gender) people always immediately refer to the person as "he" or ask me if they "make me call them Dr. ____." ......... women can be doctors too, and if they worked to earn their doctorate or medical degree, then of course they should be referred to as such.
My default is gender neutral, even with doctors. It helps that the physician or PA I see, since I lose track of which one the person is, is non-binary, so "they" would be what I used for them anyway, even if gender neutral wasn't my default.
Load More Replies...Whether "male" or "female" is used prior to a profession is often based on the person's appearance and whether it not the profession is typically seen as dominated by a specific gender. "Male nurse" is used all the time because nurses were primarily "female" for a long time and so despite the word not being gendered.
Load More Replies...It always irritates my wife when people say "working mom", but not "working dad".
When you pay a man a compliment always add 'for a man' at the end. "You drive really well... for a man." "You're pretty smart... for a man." It shows respect. They really like that.
Their About Community tab is also quite mysterious. It’s full of cryptic sayings like “the road to adequacy leads through the dark forest of your own inadequacy” and “if you need it explained, you won’t understand, if you understand you won’t need it explained.” When it comes to some of us with below-average brains, we really need to look twice before we can figure this one out.
Heckin' Gates Of Hell
I'm sorry but I can't help it when I see a picture of Cerberus (even one like this from when he was a puppy) but the origin of Cerberus is probably from a Proto-Indo-European word "k̑érberos" meaning "spotted". That's right, Hades called his giant three-headed dog, "Spot".
acording to the first percy jackson book cerberus is a rottweiler (i need to read the rest im just lazy)
My First Word Was 'Actually'
It's ok. We understand. You don't have to justify
Load More Replies...The devil's response is missing a comma because of the transposed verb complement. Guess that means I'll be joining OP in the magma.
Devil: It's lava. We have it imported just to wind you up. Now strip off and get in. It's time for the monkey bath
Look At Those Fancy Dogs, Thinking They Can Snowboard!
Do you have to knit these around the greyhound, or they come off somehow?!
Greyhounds are excellent escape artists, for things like harnesses and collars. I'd bet good money that these two could shimmy out of their body suits, no problem.
Load More Replies...Glad they have a responsible owner who dresses them according to their needs...
However, in a previous interview for Bored Panda (which you can find here), the creator behind this subreddit explained that sometimes he’s confusing on purpose. Those who understand his kind of humor will get it, and those who don’t will never be able to, no matter how much he tries to explain. By being intentionally puzzling, he hopes to encourage people to try and think their way into adequacy (hence the name) and minimize the number of fellows who think they’re smarter than everyone but actually are quite dimwitted.
Come On, If You Don't Laugh, It Just Seems Mean
I just love how people think they're going to change a smoker's mind by telling them it's dangerous. Literally the whole world knows this. I smoked for 2 years and I didn't stop until I I wanted to, regardless of being a nurse and knowing every health risk. It was a stressful time. I used it to cope and I haven't smoked for more than a decade.
I didn't stop until my emphysema gave me a choice between smoking and breathing.
Load More Replies...ha! love it. not so similar thing with me, police pull me over at night..."didn't you see me following you for the past five minutes?" yeah but I just thought you were the dominoes guy until you lights started flashing" was so flummoxed that he didnt even ask for my ID, told me i was driving well and let me go (in Australia)
My humour is so dark, I'm scared of going to USA and getting pulled over by a cop.
Some cop interactions have gone bad. That sucks. Your life would be hell without police.
In 2017- more people died from police violence in 2017 than the total number of U.S. soldiers killed in action around the globe (21). More people died at the hands of police violence in 2017 than the number of black people who were lynched in the worst year of Jim Crow (161 in 1892). Cops killed more Americans last year than terrorists did (4). They killed more citizens than airplanes (13 deaths worldwide), mass shooters (428 deaths in 2017) and Chicago's "top gang thugs" (675 Chicago homicides in 2017).
Load More Replies...Thanks, I Hate Punctuation, And It Hates Me Too
I helped my uncle jack off a horse - I helped my Uncle, Jack, off a horse.
I helped my Uncle, Jack off a Horse; his mom was really cranky the day she named him.
Load More Replies...My dad laughs a lot because I apparently have very weird emphasis on words, like I just have a disconnect on which word matters most
Needs Vary, Some Say Pinterest Risotto, Others Say Pinterest O-Face, They're Both Good
Yeah, same, I'd be much more interested if someone told me something was "better than garlic bread"
Load More Replies...And episode of law & order is better than sex. Signed, generic, assigned female at birth, heterosexual. Risotto would be bliss.
Not so long ago, being a nerd like that wasn’t cool. Hobbies such as reading comic books, obsessing over Star Wars, and spending hours at the arcade could’ve gotten you easily teased or bullied, to the point that many kept them to themselves. Imagine it being lame to like Marvel or Call of Duty, especially now when the hidden aspects of nerd culture have made it into the mainstream for everyone to enjoy. Currently, science fiction shows are popular, people crowd comic conventions, and our new heroes are the Michael Ceras and Andrew Garfields.
When You Condition The Dog, Beware That You Do Not Also Condition Yourself!
I pavloved myself with Pavlov's name. My immediate thought is food and even if m not hungry I salivate a bit
I might get that if I add a letter to make Pavlova. Mmmm.
Load More Replies...Not a bell: “ Pavlov “never trained a dog to salivate to the sound of a bell,” Todes writes. “Indeed, the iconic bell would have proven totally useless to his real goal, which required precise control over the quality and duration of stimuli (he most frequently employed a metronome, a harmonium, a buzzer, and electric shock)”
Eddie Izzard on cats and dogs: https://youtu.be/4TjcYBkkWk0?si=GQbyDcsZKXcVwqV2 Eddie Izzard on Pavlov’s Cats: https://youtu.be/lf9Jy9JQgnY?si=O66Q1UYrs-mJTvIp
If I Didn't Limit My Book-Buying By My Book-Reading, I'd Need A Bigger Apartment
Borrowing and reading is still not the same thing. I have this hobby of borrowing from the library and returning the books unread for example.
Load More Replies...A good library has just as many books you want to read as books you love.
My Addiction to books has a building all it's own, It's called the Library!
Mr Mittens Is Hungry, Feed Mr Mittens Or Suffer The Conequences!
Right? Also the person saying it would literally eat me if I were dead and they had no other source of food. Jeeze.
Load More Replies...I hope my cats will not eat me. If I believe they will, I should probably eat less junk, don't drink, exercise a bit... you know, just stay edible. And that sounds like a too much work.
Use it as motivation? The healthier you are the better kitty meal you will be!
Load More Replies...Humans have literally eaten each other in the face of starvation, so why shouldn't my cat?
If my body keeps my cats alive until someone discovers the situation...no regrets.
The question is, how and why now? The internet has been a game-changer and those who couldn’t keep up with it risked being left behind. Geeks, armed with in-depth knowledge, passions, and skills, were able to quickly adapt to the new technological advancements. In the 1990s, when Silicon Valley, a high-tech industry, started to bloom, faces like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs became huge successes. They changed the way nerds were seen in the media, with a quote floating around that encouraged people to be nice to them because chances are they’ll end up working for one.
Can't Argue With Flawless Logic
The Christian motivation to be a decent person to others is not a divine reward, but the way God has been gracious to you. John 13:34 says to love others the way Jesus loved others. It doesn't mention to do it so you go to heaven.
Load More Replies...Most just use it as an excuse to hate the non believer more than to actually show love for their creators creations. People fighting over who has the better imaginary friend is the Stupidest f*****g thing ever.
Well, no kidding. Religion is a means of control. It resorts to tribalism to tell you which people to hate, and why. Plus I'm really not into a book authored by god but written by men. I'm sure some of the translation is wrong.
Load More Replies...It's hard to convince people that morals actually exist outside of religion - we had rules and codes of conduct, written or societal, well before organized religion (I'm looking at you, Abrahamic religions) ever raised its hideous head.
Tell them to consider this: Greek gods had no morals and no moral teachings, yet ancient Greeks were able to create philosophy...
Load More Replies...if the only reason you are good is eternal damnation, then you are just bad person on a leash
Same can be said for people who are only decent due to the fear of divine punishment, i.e. going to Hell.
Whats "decent" varies from place to place. what would be perfectly fine in Iceland could get you jail time in China and executed in Myanmar. Yet ever one thinks their tribes version is correct and areas that are more strict are ridiculous and less strict immoral.
You're not a good person unless you do the right thing even when no one is watching.
That may be true, but I for one don't care what makes people behave decently, so long as it works.
I Thought Maybe They Were Cold!
for covering up a martial arts move? you have a dirty mind
Load More Replies...I'm sure there is a reason but this is a pretty weird statue to design create and erect (pun intended)... I can't help but imagine how many had to approve a statue of someone being subdued... I've never seen anything like it in a public space outside of a museum
Thanks Buddha! I'm Going To Poison So Many People!
Except every time I lost my temper I would throw things as hard as I could and rip a muscle doing so. Then have to fix the hole in the wall later.
Load More Replies...Nah. It can be (among other things like disillusionment or frustration), but many people who feel mistreated are just suffering from delusional self centeredness (Karens). Many who ARE mistreated often just feel sad or inferior.
Load More Replies...I can think of like twelve cases on the top of my head when anger isn't caused by jealousy 🤨
Load More Replies...It was also a time of fantasy and science fiction, both previously labeled as nerd territory. Releases like Harry Potter, The Matrix, and The Lord of the Rings broke the geek culture wall. Before that, as a comic-loving moviegoer, the best you could expect was an action movie about The Blade or The Punisher. During the '90s, actors who played nerdy roles were now seen portraying more muscular and tough characters. As a result, the film stars started to flaunt their nerdiness rather than hide it. Now most of us wish we could be Iron Man - a superhero who started off as a geeky engineer.
The Key To Escaping Reality Isn't Corners, It's Books... But However You Do It, Just Kee Latibulating
Oh I had to do that at work on Saturday. I usually just call it cupboard time.
Is there a word for hiding under the bedcovers to escape going to work?
Check with the Germans, they've probably got something. 👍😁
Load More Replies...Don't forget to lucubrate (study late at night, preferably by candlelight) as you latibulate.
More Specifically, It's The Greed And Stupidity Of Those Who Pretend To Be Leaders
I read it as "spetum piercing" and I was wondering why you need advice from somebody with medieval weapon injury.
That's The Dream! All I'm Good For Is Making Stuff Up That Sounds Credible
I think he meant "it's really hard to win". Getting into them is super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Yeahyeahyeah! You said the Ryan George thing.
Load More Replies...I always demand the sources from those I am having a disagreement with.
A rise in video game popularity also contributed to the nerdy shift. In the '80s, they were still pretty niche, with not a lot of people wanting to play. Not to mention the video game industry crashing down due to the oversaturation of low-quality gadgets. But Nintendo handled this by releasing a new video game console marketed as a children’s toy. The sales skyrocketed, and the success led to the creation of iconic franchises like Super Mario Bros and The Legend of Zelda. Afterward, the appearance of online games and Millennials matured this hobby and proved gaming to be an enjoyable pastime for adults or even a career.
Ah, To Be Young And Filthy In War-Time! Also, Don't Read Other People's Mail!
"Read this Edna. I think it's about the time when you were conceived." "Please don't tell me what this means." "I never thought Mom was so acrobatic." "Or Dad so well endowed." "And who is this Jack guy? Or the Lawrence twins?" "They told me it was an exotic butter churner. No wonder it didn't work when I tried it."
I'm dying of laughter reading your comment! Thank you!
Load More Replies...The young, generally, cannot accept that their elders ever did THAT.
I’m beginning to think every generation thinks it invented the dirty stuff. I can still remember reading Shakespeare and being shocked that people then performed fêllatio and cünnilingus! I’d thought it a modern invention. (Go ahead and laugh at me; I am! 🤣)
Yes, yes. And every generation is grossed out when finding out the elder ones didn't just do their deeds in the dark under the blankets
Load More Replies...A teen girl and her boyfriend are necking on the couch when her mom comes home unexpectedly. The mom says, "Well, I never!" The girl says, "But Mom, you must have."
lol, as my grandmother would say "what, you think you invented it?" HAHA
My grandmother posed for some USO trading cards during WWII. She had a memory book which was just "War Boyfriends" who sent her letters and their picture. The joke was my grandfather rotated home first after the war which is how he won and she got the ring. (I know a big part of it was my Grandmother's brother was in the same unit as my grandpa, so he was a friend of the family, but I still love that story) but yes, my grandma took bikini pictures and kept all the dirty letter she was sent over it. She was very proud
I Was Never The Child Reader, But I'm Definitely The Adult Version
I was told I was rude and antisocial when I was a kid and read books. I really didn't care, and I still don't. If you are going to insist on dragging me to sports games instead of just letting me stay home, you can dämn well better believe I'm going to bring a book.
Um, I was told I was antisocial as a child for doing this in school, after I'd finished the assignment and was waiting for the rest of the class to finish. Or when I read by myself during recess and didn't "participate." 🙄😮💨
My thing is just wanting to leave work and be alone at lunch time. Everyone else eats at their desks and clearly, my method is frowned upon.
I only get rude when someone thinks they can just start talking to me and interrupt me reading.
Not Everything Is Bad All The Time, Just Most Things
Want to know how my American brain interpreted this at first glance. The standing older woman must be the cashier, and the sitting guy must be a wheelchair user, because how else would someone be SITTING at a cash register. Also grocery cashiers are usually either elderly or in highschool.
Load More Replies...Can I have the opposite of this? Only tell me my price and say here's your receipt when I pay? I always get the chat cashier, and I realize their bored, but my capacity for small talk is dropping the older I get
Yeah, personally I avoid the kletskassa's like the plague. It's nice that it exists for the people who need it (my dad loves it), but for me, it's self-service all the way, please let me do my shopping in peace.
Load More Replies...Wow, what a wonderful practice! As I've gotten older, with no family around, those little chit chats at the grocery store really are precious.
An introvert would choose the non-chatty self scan...
Load More Replies...This is right up my alley. Since .....and I hate to admit this. I'm becoming a chatty old lady.
I'd hate to be the cashier... Hell, I'd hate to be the customer at that checkout. I'm not a hater, just an introvert, I promise
This just sounds like an American supermarket lol. I'm from England originally, but good lord can I mindlessly chat with literally anyone at this point. My relatives make fun of me now.
There’s no need for modern-day nerds to be hiding in the shadows anymore. Now they’re represented as intelligent, interesting, respectful, and very successful people. Don’t get us wrong; they’re still seen as a bit socially awkward, but in a positive and adorable way. Don’t get us wrong; they’re still seen as a bit socially awkward but in a positive and adorable way. People passionate about their hobbies proudly label themselves as all types of nerds - book nerds, food nerds, gaming nerds, science nerds, etc.
Thanks, I Hate How Accurate This Is
It's not the card number, it's that hateful "security code" on the back.
Load More Replies...Come live in the Netherlands. We have a phone app for banking and you pay with one as well. All it needs is a pincode or fingerprint.
We also have banking apps, as well as other pay apps. Not everyone uses those functions, however, especially since there is a higher risk of fraud.
Load More Replies...What worries me more are the internet sites that seem to already know your card number....
PayPal, or save your card to Google Pay. Not that I would know, ahem.
Bohemian Rhapsody May Be The Greatest Song Ever, I Will Keep Saying So As It Lures Me Ever Closer To My Death
I've heard it so much I would be 100% fine never hearing it again. I actively change the station when it comes on. It's good sure, but society has run it into the ground deeper than the super deep kola bore hole.
we can tell from this that their parents watched waynes world on video quite a lot during the babies early years. this would be between 1992 and 1996. it was number one twice because freddie passed away. For similar reasons the pogues will prob be number one this year
Or they watched the Muppet version. Is there a better version?
Load More Replies...Great song personally I'm More of a Metallica fan but it's still pretty good
I Promise, I'm Not Getting A Snack, And If I Do, I'll Bring You One Too!
My cat. "oh? you're walking to the other end of the house? Let me follow you there. And by follow I mean lead you by walking slowly in front of you, occasionally stopping underfoot to make sure you are still coming"
All the time waving my tail like a flag and showing you my b******e.
Load More Replies...this happened so much cause I have to stand and fix my legs a lot after sitting, Colt, my pup sits by me on the couch but I hate him getting up, so I taught him not to, I hold my hand out and tell him "Iits ok stay there I'm just [standing]" or "its ok stay there I'm [grabbing something]" and he will stay there, it comes in handy if I need him to stay in one spot like on a chair or just at the door, putting my hand up and saying "its ok stay there I'm doing[something]"
Me and my little leech of a cat, Aurora. The kitchen is, quite literally, 3 feet from the sofa where she's sleeping. I get up and by the time I've walked over there, she's right behind me, yelling at me for leaving her behind. My eldest, Ramses, is the "let me walk super slowly in front of you to lead you to your destination" type. And he always gets a gentle foot to the butt for his trouble. 😸
For sure! I've just gotten mine away from following me to the bathroom, after 4 freeking years! I'm sure she thought there was a trap door I could use to disappear through.
STAY only works half the time but I can see that the inner turmoil is so difficult for her that I frequently can't bring myself to it. Edit: just for following me. Any other time she gets told to stay she does it no problem.
Trying to not awaken my dog napping on the couch. just so I can get a drink of water. Bat ears
It’s quite troubling that it took us so long to accept dorky culture, but all that matters is that we’re here. We’re finally at a place where we can share our excessive hobbies and passions with the rest of the world. For more on all things dweeb, make sure to check out our earlier publication here.
I Ate'nt Dead
"I still can't believe he's gone." "I'm not dead." "Sometimes I can still hear his voice." "I'm right here!"
I Refuse To Answer On The Grounds That I Will Make Me Seem Dumb!
If only one answer was correct, then the probability would be 25%. But there are two answers with 25% (A&D), so they can’t be right. If two of the answers are correct then the probability would be 50%, but only one answer is 50% (C), so that cannot be right. The only remaining answer is 0% (B), but you can’t have 0% chance of getting it right, and then be right. Therefore, there is no correct answer. :)
Load More Replies...There is no right answer. It is a paradox. (Like "This statement is false.")
The correct answer is "C". The question asks, "what is the chance you will be correct?" So, no matter what answer you choose, you will be either right or wrong.
I spent way too much time trying to work out the percentages in my head and contemplating all of the answers in the comments. The correct answer is I am not going to be a millionaire 😆
C: 50% It doesn't matter which one you choose, you can either be right or wrong
Better Question: Does The Washing Machine Need A Gender?
*laughs in Croatian where nouns, verbs, adjectives and all sorts of pronouns (not only gender pronouns) have gendered forms*
Load More Replies...Yes. Did 7 years of German, almost nothing remains, because after 2 years I started English, and never looked back. At least French doesn't have *declensions*. Did seven years of Latin, too, and that was enough declensions for me, thank you very much.
Load More Replies...In reconstructed Proto-Celtic there is a word which translates to a "forked stick". It can be masculine, feminine or neuter. As there are seven grammatical cases and three grammatical numbers (single, dual and plural), each of which modify the noun, there are sixty-three ways to say forked stick. I'll see myself out.
I remember someone saying that this was a "woke" meme all because it has the word gender in it.
The irony is that, in linguistics, gender can be "male/female" but it could also just as easily mean "tangible/intangible" or any other random dichotomy, or trichotomy... etc. So the jokes where people are like "my gender is " entirely linguistically plausible and fair.
Load More Replies...The best part of this is that there are two different noun phrases for washing machine and .. you guessed it, one masculine and one feminine. La machine à laver (f), or le lave-linge (m). But don’t try and guess genders from the connotations of the object, from guessing it would be sexist or anything like that. There are a few consistent rules that identify feminine, like ‘-ine’ words are feminine, (la machine, la figurine, la terrine) and any double letter then e is feminine (like -ette, or -enne). But mostly you just have to learn it. From my experience listen and read a lot and you’^ll pick them up without trying.
Also don't beat yourself up over "mis-gendering" a German chair or a French washing machine. People may insist on correcting you, but they WILL understand you.
Load More Replies...It's actually a feature of Indo-European languages. English just lost it early on, though linguists don't really know why but some remnants remain (why do English speakers call ships "she" for example.)
Load More Replies...Puntastic!
Why was Albert Einstein's most prolific year 1909? Because his wife wrote half the papers. He slowed down after he divorced her.
The person was using wordplay. "Theoretical" in "Theoretical Physicist" could be part of the occupation "theoretical Physicist", or it could mean the person is theoretical and is a Physicist in that theoretical situation.
Load More Replies...From Now On I Will Only Answer To Northern Thicc Chonkasaurus!
Oooooo. I see a petition to rename a certain dinosaur coming up!
Load More Replies...Well then I've got bad news for you... We've been living through the golden age of dinosaur paleontology but somehow the kids books haven't figured this out. More than 90% of species have been named in the twenty years! Especially China comes up (with boringly/incomprehensibly named ones). But e.g. in 2011 one sauropod got officially named "Thunder thighs", https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/t-rex-pantydraco-how-dinosaurs-get-their-names-180962602/ So, downvote for being wrong in a 'nerdy' topic, upvote for dinosaurs.
Yes! More than half of all the 50+ ceratops dinosaur species (think triceratops) have been discovered since the TV series "Walking with dinosaurs"
Load More Replies...That happened in the past as well. Taking organisms other than dinosaurs as an example. We have slime moulds named after US politicians. We have "Montypythonoides" for a prehistoric snake. One palaeontologist tried to get "thingodonta" and "weirdodonta" past the gatekeepers. More than half of all birds are called "sparrow = passer". The first dinosaur got called literally "big lizard" when it isn't a lizard and isn't particularly big. Dozens more examples.
Don't forget the thagomizer, named after the late Thag Simmons.
Load More Replies...There's a Far Side cartoon in which a caveman scientist says that the spiky bit on the end of a stegosaurus's tail is called a thagomizer - "named for the late Thag Simmons". The comic is hilarious, of course, but what makes it even better is that paleontologists realized that actually, no one had given a name to that part of a dinosaur, and it is now called a thagomizer.
It's Finally The Season Of X-Mas Dissing, A.k.a December
The Only Correct Response To Golf, Mini Or Otherwise, Is 'Eww, Golf!'
Maybe the strip club is the 18th hole of the golf course...and I see myself out
Great -- now they'll open a brand-new set of clubs in that part of town.
Load More Replies...In my town we have one mini golf place which is located behind a hooters. On the weekends in the summer they do a bikini thong car wash. No fence, no wall just butt cheeks.
I used to live near a car wash that had all their employees wearing that everyday. Most of the workers were here on tourist visas. I think it was called pussycats and was on a very busy road.
Load More Replies...There's a strip club beside a playground/pre-school in my city, it used to be at least, haven't been there for years so can't say for certain anymore but it felt weird af.
Me too. When we stayed at my dad's place when my parents separated we would alternate between mini golf, bowling and the movies.
Load More Replies...Imagine some little turd hits a pop fly and you’re sitting in the strip club trying to enjoy yourself when suddenly you hear the ball in the cup sound.
If I Could Be Anything, I'd Like To Be A Clown Bastard!
Well I read this at first as “one of my clearest memories of my grandfather was when he beat me”…
He tricked the grandson, making him think that he plays better with his dominant hand. Anybody who knows what chess is, knows this doesn't happen.
Load More Replies...Make as much sense as them saying that a transgender person couldn't play compete in the woman's world chess championship. Why? And for that matter why is there a Men's and Woman's chess championship in the first place? Hasn't anyone figures out yet that they are supposed to be equally smart?
You're missing the point, the grandpa wanted to make the grandchild happier so he made them think it'd be a handicap to play with his left hand. It doesn't make sense but OP was tricked as a child so you don't have exaxctly the best ability for critical thinking then. I agree with you that dividing chess into gendered championships is stupendously stupid.
Load More Replies...I Like To Think Of Actually Cleaning As Something That Only Applies To Others
There must be a camera in my house I'm not aware of. Someone is spying on me.
Try doing this in a house that you’ve inherited from your husband’s parents. The house is 120 years old. They (in laws ) bought it at an auction, with everything in it. They then lived in it for 50 more years. You start cleaning because you have to, and then discover something you have no idea what it is and spend the next two hours on the internet trying to figure it out.
This is a bizarre painting that I'm sure has a lot of meaning. I'm interested in learning about that real meaning behind the symbols.. I'm not interested in how you think you are being funny and clever.
included that hand you found in the very back of your closet holding an apple
I Don't Remember Any Of These, But I Figured Out Nr. 6 On My Own
Socialism exists. But communism hasn't existed since Mao died. I read recently that the only members of the Communist Party in America who paid their dues were informants paid by J Edgar Hoover.
Load More Replies...The truth is that you can substitute any "system" for "Capitalism" and get the same result. What people don't seem to get is that the "upper class" have always controlled whatever system is in place for their benefit. The other thing that is surprising is that people haven't figured out that their country (usually pointing at the US) isn't Capitalistic, not in the pure sense. It is a mixture of a lot of different "systems", and what is really the "discussion" is what percentage of X and Y to have.
"Under captalism, the rich become powerful. Under socialism, the powerful become rich."
Load More Replies...True communism succeeded on the kibbutzes. Power was shared. One month, a random person would be head of the kibbutz. The next transfer of power, he would be working in the kitchen or picking up garbage.
Paraphrasing Churchill: "Capitalism is the worst kind of system except anything else ever tried."
Crazy idea though, it's also one of the newest, and it's entirely possible for us to come up with newer and better ideas! Funny how ideas work that way, the newer the idea, generally the better it is because it benefits from the old ideas and new information, so we can come up with new ideas that are generally better than the previous ideas. zomg o.o
Load More Replies...i want to point out its not just children that need to here all those {but 6 ya know} ADULTS need to hear it too, its done wonders for those that i know {i help/usedtohelp} adults from bad backgrounds, and telling them "IM PROUD" did so so much for them, So for everyone reading this, IM PROUD OF YOU, EVEN THO I DONT KNOW YOU, WELL NEVER MEET YOU, KNOW I LOVE YOU AND EVEN IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE NO ONE, YOU HAVE ME LEO, AND I BELIVE IN YOU AND AM PROUD OF YOU!
None of the social concepts works on it's own. The simple reality is: we need parts of capitalism to distribute goods and regulate production. We need a bit of communism to allow for common grounds and fair use of natural resources and we need a fair share of socialism to create equity and fair chances as well as allowing the best qualified people to thrive and expand human development. As long as we don't accept that, well never find peace. All three systems have strengths and weaknesses. If you try to have just one, it'll always fail because some needs will be ignored and force would always be needed to suppress those whose needs cannot be fulfilled. Humanity has facets and different parts of society need different strategies to create fairness. That's not possible in extremist systems. And no, pure socialism has never worked so far. Neither has communism, nor capitalism. It sometimes looked that way when those systems allowed certain things to run on different ideals.
Capitalism's proponents have done an incredible job of confusing people about what it actually is and isn't. Capitalism isn't synonymous with Markets or Economic Systems. No more than Pug is synonymous for Dog. Economic systems do not exist in bubbles. "Pure" Economic systems cannot exist, they exist within the context of the governance systems of the society. There's a LOT of propaganda about both, all aimed at tricking us into accepting capitalism. I encourage you to do some digging. I find the youtuber SecondThought to have a ton of excellent material on the topic that can help get one started at sorting through the BS.
Load More Replies...I never heard a single one of these from either of my parents. 😞 My dad’s still alive, though, and I’m gonna get him to tell me he’s proud of me if it kills him. Or I do.
What a brain dead person you are with the #6 comment. Shows you are lib/tard/demie/commie.
If You Gaze Long Enough Into An Abyss, The Abyss Completely Ignores You
I'm a professional void shouter. I took it up once I'd finished a two year apprenticeship chewing parsley for Rolls Royce.
Me, shouting at the abyss. The abyss, ignoring me and minding its own abyssness…
Abyssness? May I steal? I would love to tell my nosy neighbor to "mind your own abyssness!"
Load More Replies...A Quick Guide To How Monopolies Work, They Don't, But You Don't Have Any Other Choice!
This switch to subscriptions for EVERYTHING is the biggest scam ever. I just want to buy the thing and use it forever damit.
Load More Replies...Open Office. Better than Word and it is free. Plus it opens Word documents.
Libreoffice. Free, open-source and works with all operating systems. Heck just replace MS Windows with free and open-source (Kubuntu or Mint) Linux.
There are about ten mature, well sorted free open suites available out there. Wikipedia lists them. Look up Libreoffice and then look at the table that compares office suites
Load More Replies...Libre Office all the way. The way Microsoft makes you PAY to type on a page is criminal.
Desperate people resort to desperate measures.
Load More Replies...You don't get these problems with Linux. Don't understand why more people don't use it. Ubuntu is just as good as Windows , except it's better, and it's free and comes with Libre Office which lets you do all these things that MS Office struggles with.
I don't understand. It does work, and well... maybe you're not using it correctly?
People are referring to all the quirky things it does. In other words, you think you are going to be able to do something really simple and do what you think is the right thing to do it and find that Word has applied some "automatic" formatting or such that it doesn't work the way you think it does.
Load More Replies...That's What Vacations Are For!
The longer the span of time off, the greater the challenge to return to work...
After 2 months on FMLA, I returned to work and wish I could retire yesterday. I only have a few more years, but still...
I Was There 3000 Years Ago, When The Simpsons Was Considered Funny
Happened to Saturday Night Live 30 years ago, but it's still on the air.
Load More Replies...TikTok, it happened to me with TikTok. In fact, I was gonna spell it tictoc until auto correct new better🤦
If I Was The Interviewer, I'd Definitely Hire Him, Everyone Needs A Good Boy On The Team!
I Wish I Could Laugh In Completed Story
Come on, George, finish your books first! Seriously! Wind of Winter was rumored for this year and nothing again.
He'll never finish them. Unlike Tolkien he can't even keep track of a plot, much less his own plot holes.
Load More Replies...All I think of is the song ‘wiener party wiener party’ when I see him
Plot holes he had the balls to complain about Tolkiens ha ha ha heavy sarcasm
The remaining 2 will be released posthumous. After 12 years of waiting, I do not care anymore.
The guy is old and rich... Most people stop working once they get to be one or the other... Since he is both that makes it doubly unlikely he'll want to do anything resembling work... Some people are authors who write for money and some are artists who write because they feel they must... Martin is the former and that's perfectly OK...
Mind The Slip 'N Slide
Trump: "We've been waging an all-out war on American democracy."
Funnily that's not what he originally meant. He didn't talk about people accidentally said. He was talking about what people heard if the person said something else. And he said, that what you misheard is what you wanted to hear. But it got twisted to this which is also an example for the Freudian slip, people twisting reality to what they want it to be and meanings to what they want it to be. Souce: my textbook at uni, Psychology and Life, course: basic psychology. Just in case someone wants to look that up
I have this issue with my boyfriend. It's like he hears an entirely different conversation. I'm going to start keeping notes or recording our conversations just to have the receipts.
Load More Replies..."There is many a slip between the cup and the tit. Uh, I mean lip."
Freudian slip is when you ask your wife to pass the salt but it comes out as " You ruined my life, you farking beyotch "
It's a little more complex than this, as I understand it. The incorrect word is usually something unrelated to the topic, but which you have been thinking about all the time. And being Freudian it's probably sexual.
Pyjamas, The Best Part Of Working From Home, And If You're Brave Enough, The Best Part Of Not Working From Home
Hahah, I remember Johnny in Monsters University. Nathan is a good choice for the high and mighty jock stereotype
I Could Listen To Kids Dinosplaining All Day, I Don't Give A Shit About Your Sensibilities
Spellociraptors know it's belligerent. (Sorry sorry i don't care that a hard word was misspelled but i really wanted to do the pun with you)
Load More Replies...Mum's the word. And I may start using that phrase, if she doesn't mind.
Load More Replies...Yes Please, I Too Would Like To Try Feeling Like A Brand New Woman!
It's funny--I didn't notice a man wrote this and as a woman who uses the most basic soap and shampoo and lotion, I absolutely identified.
And That Kids Is Why You Should Write What You'd Want To Read!
I like the idea of writing, but then I get going and realize it's just a conglomeration of my favorite books with different names.
Load More Replies...Yes. However, if I figured out that I wrote my book, suddenly problems would pop up lol
Thanks Fortune Cookie, I Needed To Hear That Today!
If You're A Motivational Speaker Our Policy Is We Hate You!
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. Wee-ooh wim-o-weh. Wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-o-weh o-wim-weh.
It's not a good idea to wake a sleeping lion. So I think I'm gonna say no to this type of motivation, m'kay?
You Should At Least Give Him A Kiss After He Cleans, It's Only Polite
I Don't Want To Brag, But The Things I Do Are All Useless
If I could make money from sitting in front of the computer playing Mahjong and Backgammon, watching Jeopardy, and snacking all day, I'd be set.
Load More Replies...It's safe to say making Venn diagrams doesn't fit into the "Things I'm good at" circle...
When you're good at advanced math, all five are coincident. Five? Yes, it's useless as well.
Tell Me I'm Pretty!
i would so give it a little "boop" on the nose.🤦♀️
Load More Replies..."We asked the captain what course of action he proposed to take toward a beast so large, so terrifying, and unpredictable. He hesitated to answer, and then said judiciously, 'I think I shall praise it.'" --Robert Haas
Who's a pretty creature? You are! yes, you are!!!. (slowly backing away)
One quote from a novel that I rather like is this. "Could anything be more beautiful, or more deadly".
or just because you are ugly doesn't mean i have to pretend you're beautiful.
Good Times Were Had By All!
Is it just the eggs that are green, or both the eggs AND the ham? 🤔
Load More Replies...These Are Not The Heroes You're Looking For
The number of times I've seen women (never seen a man do it though they might have) say "Relationship Goals!" with a picture of Joker and Harley Quinn makes me cringe...
Load More Replies...The number of people hating on Skylar just because the show was from Walter's pov is insane. Antiheroes aren't good guys.
Id like to see something more inclusive here... No ladies or ethnicities represented... Is that not ok? I thought we wanted equality...
Nope, I totally idolize Bryan Cranston. Have since he played Douglas Donovan in "Loving". (I know, I'm dating myself.)
I Can't Say It's Not Tempting Xd
I found a new porpoise in my life, his name's Bubbles and he's a bottlenose
Load More Replies...I Hate You So Much I'm Going To Write A Poem About You? Sounds Like Love To Me
If You're Looking For A New Christmas Classic, Death Plays The Ultimate Version Of Santa
About the only Christmas story I ever enjoyed, the late Sir Terry Pratchett was that sort of genius. I miss him.
Read the book it'll change your life. Most of sir Pratchett's work has that affect.
People should definitely read the "Science of Discworld" books too. I learned things about science that meant that I got jokes in some of the books s that I didn't even know I'd missed first time.
Load More Replies...This totally lost me, but I gather there's a skeleton Santa who saved a little girl from freezing?
Its a Discworld story. Santa gets kidnapped, Death takes over the job, and makes it so that the little match girl doesn't die. Better told in Hogfather
Load More Replies...I Never Claimed I Was Good At Acting Nice!
That cat is looking at his boss, fantasising about eating unmentionable parts of their anatomy after clawing their eyes out and totally enjoying the mental picture.
Yup, I Always Knew There Was Something About Dune That Bugged Me!
And finding a pet. I've heard sandworms make great support animals.
Mind. BLOWN. I know this book better than the back of my hand and yet this has never dawned on me.
Oh, my gosh, that just gave me a fresh new take on that movie. Haven't seen the remake. The original was really gooey.
That's when my brother read it, back in high school, mid to late 70's. I was into LOTR at the time.
Load More Replies...Funny, but in all seriousness the Dune novels that Frank Herbert wrote might be the best Sci Fi books of all time barring only the best Heinlein works... Stranger in a Strange Land should be required reading IMO
Will The Real Trolley Problem Please Stand Up
Whatever Your Reason, I Support You. Personally, I'm A Non-Practising Vegetarian
I only eat babies. Baby peas, baby corn, baby carrots, sprouts, fruits, nuts, cereals, sweet potatoes, etc.
I'm an omnivore because it all tastes good (except liver and lima beans . . . and blue cheese).
omg we could be twins... tho blue cheese dressing is good with buffalo wings.
Load More Replies...I love animals.... they are delicious and I don't want to eat their food.
If you don't want to hurt animals, just become vegetarian, I feel like people have even more reasons for becoming vegan, because to just give up dairy? Takes a lot.
But two of the worst parts of animal farming are dairy and egg production. They are the most industrialised and probably inflict the most suffering. Laying chickens are kept in appalling conditions for their entire lives, their beaks are mutilated without pain relief to prevent them from pecking each other to death. Male chicks are thrown into industrial meat grinders at just one day old. Dairy farming is no better. A very high proportion of dairy cows will get mastitis (a very painful infection of the udder) each year. Look ar a picture of a dairy cow, even a prize-winning example, and you can see the pelvic bones jutting out because so much of their energy is burned up producing milk that they can barely eat enough to survive. Sometimes they tread on their own udders and cause horrific injuries.
Load More Replies...killing plants is not morally superior. Drinking milk is. This is the idiocy of veganism.
Unsure If This Is Real, Or If Asparagus Is Trying To Prank Me Again, I've Been Burned Before
This makes me think of pineapples. Seeing them grow out of the ground totally blew my mind.
Everything Sucks And Then You Die
it's not gaslighting..... its called "Mind over matter", The mind is strong, and learning how to treat it right is how you make it "stronger" When something bad happens, IT does make you stronger Because you learn from it, you learn how to deal with it, you learn how to live with it, Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that involves manipulating someone to make them question their own reality, IT DOESNT MAKE YOU STRONGER
And when you run into something that you can't explain say that its alleged creator "works in mysterious ways."
I Have Found The Only Acceptable Use For A.i And Only Because Taking Babies Skydiving Is Frowned Upon
I knew what this was going to be before I clicked on it :D
Load More Replies...Yeah Yeah, Come On Universe, Tell Me Something I Don't Know!
Leonardo DiCaprio style. Whiskey over 25 years old, women under 25 years old
I'm The Best At Interrupting, They Call Me Interrupty The Interruptor
Then you just to do the same thing with the same story and see how long they’ll go on interrupting you
I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude that’s just how I connect to people. Please have patience. I’ll shut up eventually.
Oh man, I'm the interrupter. I work so hard not to but sometimes can't help it. Interrupt me right the h*** back!!
Me too, it's a real struggle to balance connecting and listening. I try to just keep it to like, a quick sentence or two and then bring it back to their story, seems to help.
Load More Replies...Apparently that can be a neurodivergent thing. Sorry :/
As an autistic I do this accidentally to show empathy, peopling is hard 😭
Yeah, I thought this was just how you had a conversation, but might explain why all my friends are ND also...
Load More Replies...Swords Are Too Easy, That's Why I Prefer An Axe!
That would be "dual wielding", try again. Polyarmoury is the 'belts-and-braces' approach on defence.
polyarmory is wearing padded armour under the chainmail with plates on top!
Having Money Makes Poison Less Poisonous, Final Answer!
Really? Why deny reality. Poverty is a huge determiner of longevity and health outcomes.
Load More Replies...I purchased a copy of "Carcinogens in Alcohol" from the Center for Science in the Public Interest back in the early 1980s. Turns out the mass-marketed cheap beer that was so popular in college in the late 1980s (drinking age was 18) was the absolutely most toxic beverage on store shelves and the 25 cents beer taps, which explained the particularly nasty hangovers. They cleaned it up after the study but the brand is still very popular today.
It's the relation of EtOH to MeOH. Do not drink homemade moonshine from someone who doesn't know wtf they're doing.
Unless you're making a joke with the spelling, it's 'kumquat'. (Yes, I am that person.)
Load More Replies...Quantiity? No one buys the cheap stuff for the flavor. Also people who can afford expensive booze can probably also afford things like healthy food and doctors.
Yes, that's the point. There are people who are like "why study history or politics or languages or anything but STEM" and then get confused that we still have problems. (For real, the other day I met someone who said if Greta Thunberg really wanted to make a difference, she'd ditch climate activism and become an engineer and invent clean energy instead. I showed as much restraint as I possibly could and pointed out that having safe, cheap, and effective vaccines has not eradicated polio yet, so maybe human behavior does enter into the equation somewhere.)
Load More Replies...Or You Can Do What I Do, Go Home And Cry, Which Coincidentally Is What Boromir Should Have Done
remember: why kick dirt...when you can kick...um...you know what f**k it i'm not good at this stuff.
Load More Replies...Rewember the days when you cold justice tell a jock and you didn't halve to worry about creeple correcting your grammor, or having deeple gifting you a science or mystory lecture. No? We either!
remember: why kick dirt...when you can kick...um...you know what f**k it i'm not good at this stuff.
Load More Replies...Rewember the days when you cold justice tell a jock and you didn't halve to worry about creeple correcting your grammor, or having deeple gifting you a science or mystory lecture. No? We either!
