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Some internet posts and pics are so good that they escape the confines of just one social network. They go viral and spread across different social media platforms, making people laugh wherever they end up.

‘Really Dumb Tweets’ is a very popular account over on Instagram that shares some of the wittiest, weirdest, and most relatable things that were posted on X (formerly Twitter). We’ve collected some of the most recent funniest pics to give you a good laugh. So, keep scrolling if you’re in the mood for humor.

#1

Tweet about a medical alert wiener dog on a plane warning about an irregular heartbeat in a hilarious tweet shared online.

reallydumbtweets Report

Sanguina
Community Member
7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Med alert dogs are wonderful!

Funhog
Community Member
7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes the Universe sends us angels.

Cee Cee
Community Member
7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done that dachshund.

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    #2

    Tweet about a gas station employee making fresh hot burritos, featured among hilarious tweets shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Manic Mama
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ring his manager & tell them what good service you received. It makes their day.

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It genuinely does! I handle all the customer reviews for my company - it absolutely makes an employee’s day when I come to them and show them a good review that mentions them. They always have a big ol grin ☺️

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    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this story, but so far none of these are matching the title of this BP?!

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's the small things. pay it forward and write a glowing review of him and his service to his managers

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my idea of one-stop shopping.You get gas whether your car needs any or not.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awwww see costs nothing to be u like kind does it ! n yup tell his manager how lovely n helpful he is x

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    #3

    Funny tweet about a 9-year-old son refereeing a soccer game and an adult woman getting yellow-carded.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That kid is going places! 🙂

    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that kind of card system

    General Anaesthesia
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adults should be banned from children's activities, especially (team) sports.

    Melody
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read this as being about adults playing soccer.

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    Harry Gondalf
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brings back happy memories of my time as a Little League umpire.

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    There are bound to be cultural differences between social media networks, as well as groups and accounts on those networks themselves. There’s always been a pretty substantial difference between Instagram and Twitter. However, since the latter has been rebranded as X, those differences are, arguably, more pronounced than ever.

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    On the one hand, you have Instagram, which has a massive focus on visual and aesthetic content like photos and videos. On the other hand, you have X, which is much more text-based, even if it’s full of pics and clips as well. X is, arguably, much more fast-paced and focused on news (especially breaking news stories), current events, and political and social commentary.

    Though, of course, you’ll find plenty of memes and lighthearted content on X, too, just like you’d find commentary on current events on Instagram as well.

    #4

    Hilarious tweet about a medical student caring for a toddler’s stuffed owl with broken wing and cute care instructions.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Strahd Ivarius
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How many thousand dollars of debt have been added for that poor toddler?

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    Tegan
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People skills are so important in medicine. Good bedside manner should be a course on the medical curriculum

    Breadcrumb.
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are people who became doctors because it's what their parents wanted. And I don't think that's a good reason to become a Doctor.

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    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gave a small dog an 'indestructible' dog toy. 15 minutes later, she's watching nervously as I sewed the 'guts' back into the belly. That stitched belly was the last piece to be dismantled. What I lacked in sewing skills I made up for with determination.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope that student keeps that attitude after he becomes a full fledged doctor.

    Alley Cat
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except in the US. Here, it's just expensive.

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    had a vet asst take care of my 4 yr old grandkid's stuffed horse--apparently he stumbled & hurt one of his feet/legs. this was done before she even checked out MY pet--grandkid just totally took over my appt! we were ALL smiling when the appt was done. dang kids are too friggin' cute sometimes

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ❤️all medical personnel should strive to be this person !

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    #5

    Screenshot of a tweet about overcoming college GPA challenges and succeeding in STEM, shared in hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Bogdan C
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the only type of flex I wanna hear/read! Not something about your followers count or that time you drank 15 beers in 30 minutes in college!!!

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For real, I almost teared up reading this 🥹 the anti-intellectualism that seems to be even more prevalent these days is so sad. My coworkers the other day were having a bragging contest about who hadn’t read a book in the longest. The guy who won claimed he’d actually never read a full book before. I have no idea why that’s cool - like there are so many things he won’t know and perspectives he won’t consider and common-sense things he won’t understand

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    doggio
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good one! Perseverance and Curiosity!!

    Myoviridae
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought I was the only one who got this!

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    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Showing this one to my kids!

    Tim Gibbs
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can you explain what 2.4GPA is for a non American?

    Multa Nocte
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A = 4.0 (highest), B = 3.0, C = 2.0, D = 1.0, F = 0.0 lowest).

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    Rick Seiden
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Engineering school is like fighting. Sometimes it's not about who's better at it, but who can be hit more times and still get up. I mean, Rocky wasn't a great boxer. He was good, but his real strength came from being able to be hit, over and over, and still come back swinging.

    Alyce
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course Curiosity and Perseverance matter - they went to Mars!

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This bears repeating. Congrats and nice work Sir.

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is wonderful advice. I hope you have inspired students everywhere!

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    P(asses)s get degrees! Not sure how it is in America, but as long as you are ultimately getting enough to pass a unit, you can pass your course. In fact, I failed a subject (because of attendance!) and just did it the year after and passed.

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    #6

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about an unemployed cat and stardust apex predator owner from popular Twitter comedy posts.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Untamed Snark
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love Jonathan's social media accounts,

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cat is not unemployed. It has a position in the field of domestic management.

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That and Lord of the Entire Universe.

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    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember the stardust in the cat is as old as yours.

    panther
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fortunately there is a stray that stops by and eats what the 2 picky little fluff balls won't eat.

    elskar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your cat is also made of the same stardust, so that's not really a differentiator.

    Jane Hower
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks for the laugh - I needed it

    Leesa DeAndrea
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His cat is also made of 14 billion year old stardust. Just saying.

    PortaGee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HIL. AR. I. OUS!!!!!! (But I'd do the same thing.)

    Oops
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I really think they make the animal food sometimes of weird stuff, cats smell any s h it and refuse.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kitty is also made of the same star dust.

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    A recent Pew Research Center survey that looked at how Americans get their news found that half of adults in the United States say that they get theirs from social media in general.

    That being said, major platforms like TikTok, X, Facebook, and Instagram differ in their structure, content, as well as culture. So, the ways that people encounter news there can vary a lot.

    #7

    Tweet about an old man chatting with an older lady before she reveals her wife, one of the most hilarious tweets shared.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awesome! And very big boo to that grandpa

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm a homophobic piece of s**t" - if THAT'S what you consider your plus side, how s****y is the rest of you?

    joyfulchasm
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What ‘rest of him’? Do people need… other things?? /j

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    Nathan Lewis
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what kind of flirting is that? "Hey lady, so how about them gays?"

    veirdbuttrue
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Raise his grandson to be gay" What an ignorant ol fool. SMH

    TheGayUmbrella
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would have pledged my undying loyalty right then and there!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂😂😂😂😂😂😂IN YOUR FACE U HOMOPHOBIC AH 😂😂 as chat up lines go lol that is one of the worst I’ve ever heard n that over 60 yrs is saying something 😂🤦‍♀️

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Evo / devo - lution amongst peers. Gotta love it.

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    #8

    Tweet about a charity auction where Steve Carrell secretly outbids others, highlighting hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he did not want to wind up in a real life "Dinner with Schmucks" scenario. I mean doing the movie was bad enough.

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it a bad movie? My bf and I have a list of stupid background movies to put on while we have Lego/warhammer painting nights and Dinner for Schmucks is next on our list 😂 we’re fine with bad movies because we love to hate watch hahaha

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    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS is why I like Steve Carrell :))

    Jayeff Vee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was that some form of extortion?

    Sweetie Dahling
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't find any proof of this actually having happened, besides this one tweet. I did find another auction for a dinner with three actors from The Office including Carrell, but it was an online auction.

    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fine! I don't want to meet you either, Steve Carroll! (But he was awesome in The Patient on HULU)

    Dariusz M. D.
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what to think about that. If Carrell agreed to the arrangement, he probably shouldn't have done that. Instead, he could just donate the money without theatrics like that. If you don't want to go to dinner with a stranger then do not agree to that.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂😂😂😂he ain’t bloody stupid is he lol

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    #9

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about pricing inequalities for plus size clothing shared on an IG page with funny content.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Jaya
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still better than the brands that don't make plus sizes at all. So annoying.

    Kris
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a fat guy, I think this take misses the point. Sure, companies don’t charge less because they want to maintain profit, but using more fabric does increase production costs. So even if the price is the same, they’re making a similar profit margin. I’m not saying it’s fair—just that there is a logical explanation behind it.

    SchadenFreudian Psychology
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Business. Always some bùllshít excuse to scrèw people over.

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    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I didn't buy it because it was more expensive I'd be walking around naked. Although it's gotten a lot better than when I was younger. Lots more choices of places to shop.

    Nope
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had no idea this was a thing. Wow...the things you don't learn shopping at the Goodwill

    Nathan Lewis
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they will never lower the price for something small because they know they can get away with charging the same as medium. That doesn't mean they aren't having to spend more to make something larger.

    elskar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's probably that they are in less demand and therefore more expensive.

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's 100% typical, like fat people on planes. Gimme a break

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    ymzn8j5zsf
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps the xl sizes are priced normally and the medium and small are reduced! 🤪

    Peggygirl
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And petit sizes should be cheaper.

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    According to the survey, X and Facebook users are most likely to see news articles on the platforms (79% and 74% respectively, according to social media users), compared to TikTok (57%) and Instagram (52%).

    Generally, younger users are more likely to see breaking news-related info.

    #10

    Tweet about a dad paying bills six months in advance to cover gas, water, and electric, shared on a hilarious tweets page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but unless she dies before the credits run out, she will still need to learn how to do it. They are just delaying the problem. Hopefully the delay will give them enough time to grieve, then figure out how to pay the bills before the credits run out.

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    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a truly great husband.

    Motivated sloth
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of he sweetest things I’ve ever read. What an incredible man.

    jasper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My FIL passed recently and my MIL has no clue what to do about anything. She's never paid a bill or had to call for any kind of service. She is completely helpless. It's taken great effort from my husband and SIL to deal with it all.

    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I fear my mother is going to be like that if my dad happens to pass before her. They've been married for 55 years now and I doubt she's ever paid a bill in all that time. Knowing him he'll have made arrangements though.

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    Sue User
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dont know how i feel about this. People should know how to do basic life skills.

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure she knows how to pay bills but he wanted to take care of her

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    DowntownStevieB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a ball of amazing, loving, and sad.

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG...how thoughtful and awesome he was! I'm guessing he was terminal & did like the rest of us should do--PREPARE

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm so sorry for loss. ✨Bless your dad's huge, loving, thoughtful heart! 👏🏼🙏🏼

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    #11

    Tweet about a child's surprise realizing the family dog is truly a pet, featured in hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    les
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the kid got it right

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically they're family, so of course she didn't view it as a "pet".

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adorable! Yep they're people too. (And better than most humans IMHO)

    x6rkq946s6
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She thought their dog was just her furry roommate…she wasn’t wrong.

    Three Possums in a Coat
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so obviously you need to get her and the dog, a puppy

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can the 3 year old have a pet now? I know she's young for responsibility but it would be nice if she could choose and then they grow up together.

    Philly Bob
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, the kid isn't wrong.

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    #12

    Hilarious tweets about friendship and parenting shared on this IG page, highlighting funny everyday moments and relationships.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it takes a village, if you’re lucky enough

    Deeelite
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It doesnt take a village - it just takes parents who give a d**n

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    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a friend group worth nurturing.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I knew and was friends with people like this.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that random women, who share a common goal, can become sisters, a tribe. Kudos to you!

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Indeed! Reminiscent of the 'good old days'. I use 'good' VERY loosely. 😉🤦🏼‍♀️

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sister has already volunteered to take my (as yet non-existent) children to places like theme parks because I don't like that sort of thing. Also my whole family follows football except me, so they can take them to games too :)

    Sven Grammersdorf
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Sushi is disgusting and unhealthy

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    While X news consumers are most likely to say that they got their news from outlets or journalists (80%), the situation on other platforms is very different.

    Far fewer users said they get their news from outlets or journalists on Facebook (68%), TikTok (67%) and Instagram (65%). TikTok news consumers are the most likely to get their news from influencers and celebrities, followed by Instagram users.

    #13

    Tweet with a funny apology to a waitress about leftovers, part of the most hilarious tweets shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rest of the family replied "really dad?!" and definitely face palmed, when the server left.

    Dariusz M. D.
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just a dad being a creep in front of his family.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤦‍♀️dad jokes at their worst lol

    #14

    Funny tweet about trying to suppress a sneeze while grocery shopping causing awkward moments shared on a hilarious tweets page

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is nora ephron quality writing, screenplay please of your life and thoughts in general.

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Read recently about a dude who blew a "hole" in his throat by stifling a sneeze. Crazy weird injury! Google it.

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve read about that too!! Terrifying what the human body can do to itself 😅

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    SchadenFreudian Psychology
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would people glare if you sneeze? As long as you cover your nose and mouth….🤷🏻‍♀️

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends when these tweet was tweetered - I remember being terrified to even clear my throat in public in 2020 😂😅

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    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you sneeze and fart at the same time you take a screenshot

    NapQueen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The release must have felt amazing though!

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hilarious. Yep, you should, if you don't already, WRITE, consider stand up, somethin'! 👌🏼👏🏼👍🏼

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband can't hold his sneezes in. The whole shopping centre knows when he sneezes.

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    #15

    Funny tweet about a spoon's life goal to make soup go upwards, shared on a page featuring hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's primary function is as the delivery tool of ice cream from the bowl to my mouth.

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spoons are also for Kheer, Arroz Con Keche, Custard, Pudding, Ice Cream, Jello, Pie Ala Mode, Yogurt, Curry, Stew, Stirring Coffee, Tea, Cocoa, etc., the list goes on. Saying a Spoon's only objective is for Soup, is definitely limiting its career options. That is like saying a Firefighter is only good for Firefighting!

    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So it splashes the hot soup everywhere?! Get your shìt together spoon

    Richienotsorich
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which functioning adult puts a flat spoon under a stream of water and then complains when it goes everywhere?!

    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can imagine being that spoon.

    The Mediterranean Fruit
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use forks for soup instead of spoons> I think they work better and I wrote a comedic open letter about it in my college English class. I called it "To those who eat soup with a spoon, I raise to you the dinner fork." It's a rather funny read if I do say so myself.

    DowntownStevieB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Legit something I'd think about if I were a kid...

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parabolas are inherently evil! XD (joking)

    View more comments

    The Pew Research Center survey found that Democratic news consumers are more likely to get their news from advocacy or nonprofit organizations than Republicans.

    Furthermore, Democrats tend to be more skeptical of information found on X, while Republicans are more skeptical of information found on Facebook.

    #16

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a lady naming her two dogs Houston with different pronunciations, humor shared on Instagram.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a street in NYC. Spelled the same as the city but pronounced HOW-ston. Thank you NYPD Blue. 🚓

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know how the city is pronounced, but I don't know how the street is pronounced. "Yew-stun"?

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have no idea where Houston St is but would have pronounced it like Houston Tx.

    turk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I took in three kittens (and mom) about a year and a half ago. I named the three brother kittens Bodhi, Benjy and Bugsey. And later I thought this might be confusing to them. But they're about two years old now and definitely know their names with no issues.

    MacClovia Solis
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is pronounced House-ton! According to the GPS lady.

    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The GPS lady isn’t always right 😂 I love hearing her say “Gagliardi Way” (we pronounce it like “Gallardy Way” and she prefers to emphasize the “Gag” 😂 “GAG-lee….ardyway” 😂 or Lougheed- we say “low-heed” and she says “LAO-*cough*-heh-heh-d” 🤭😂) shoutout to my bc lower mainland pandas

    Load More Replies...
    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like our pastor, who named his dog "J.D." Why? Because it's "jest a dawg."

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂😂😂love her lol , like when we that age , I’m sorry but I aim to be her 😂20 yrs to go n counting lol but question is lol does either Houston have a problem 😂sorry

    View more comments
    #17

    Screenshot of a heartfelt tweet shared on an IG page featuring one of the most hilarious tweets about a grandad.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds so wholesome! And it's a perfect memory of your grandad!!

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My sight has gone blurry.

    MoMcB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That made me cry . I’ve lost two family members this year already.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son was not quite 2 when my Grandfather passed away. I was very close to him & he just loved my son. At the funeral, we went up to pay our respects (open casket) and Josh leaned down, touched my Grandpa's cheek and said "Night, night Grandpa. Love you". Not a dry eye in the house.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    instant tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart. You are very lucky to have had someone like that in your life. What a blessing

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He must have been an amazing grandad! I love what he told the nurses - that must be a very special memory for you!

    Nope
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had no idea the maids were planning on doing the dusting in here today...hate when it gets in my eyes

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beautiful tears,... What a guy, granddaughter, relationship. We all should be so lucky 'when'. 👌🏼🙏🏼😎

    View more comments
    #18

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about not being able to make up lost sleep, shared on a popular humor IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it might be a natural thing to fight sleep. i don’t, never did, but my bf in high school did and said to our art teacher aloud in creative shop talk time that he wasn’t going to bother with sleeping anymore since it’s a waste of time and the conversation that ensued was amazing about everyone who has ever m******d or done crazy things from lack of sleep. My art teacher might have been a crime buff, or a crime.

    Rika
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fighting sleep is a psychological response to feeling like you don't have enough time for yourself: if you spend the whole day at school/work and around friends/family, you're likely to stay up late to try and get that quiet, alone time you otherwise can't have. It's not a good idea because the lack of sleep has serious consequences, but it's indeed "natural" as in, you often don't realize you're doing it.

    Load More Replies...
    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can actually make up some sleep debt in a short time period by sleeping a bit extra! I can’t remember how long that grace period is though - after a certain amount of time, like a week or two, you’re not going to be able to make that sleep up and reverse any damage 😅 Google “sleep debt” if you want to learn more, I’m just talking off the top of my head here!

    Nikole
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! NOT being able to makeup sleep is the real myth.

    Load More Replies...
    Upstaged75
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree. Naps work great for me.

    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could party for days and nights on end in my youth. Now, I'm convinced I was stealing sleep from my future and that's why I'm so tired all the time now.

    bernie bulk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    said no interstate truckie ever

    elskar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone told me this as a kid too. Makes no sense.

    dollh h
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Found out I have inherited a genetic anomaly that allows me to function on less sleep than the accepted 'optimal' amount. All the males in my family have it, I'm the only female so far.

    View more comments

    For X users, the news is either a major or minor reason for their use of the platform. Around half of the users said in the survey that they regularly get their news there. Meanwhile, TikTok, Facebook, and Instagram users don’t necessarily use these networks specifically for news.

    That being said, all of these four platforms’ users still see news there, “especially through opinion- or humor-based content.”

    #19

    Tweet about a funny restaurant encounter with a woman asking to hurry up, featured in hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Malamutes
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ask me to "hurry up" with my meal, and I will bolt my a*s to the chair.

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "This is now, where I live. And, I will die on this hill."

    veirdbuttrue
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow that's so rude!! Personally I would have told her that's extremely rude and I will leave when I'm ready.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of when I go to the sink in the kitchen at work and people will try to jump in or hover to get in and then move in slow motion when it's their turn.

    elskar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda like parking lot hoverers. Always seems to be time to catch up on my eCorrespondence when they come around.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well what better time is there 😂when I used to drive , haven t in 9 yrs now , but when anyone sat waiting for my space , if they sat patiently, then I,ll move quickly , but if they use the horn just once , I’m like dam dropped me keys on bugger phones ringing , n any other excuse I can think off , r if they keep hooting I suddenly remembered s**t I forgot such n which , get back out lock car n walk off 😂no tolerance for rude people me

    Load More Replies...
    Bret Sander
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waiting for me to back out of my parking spot while glaring at me, it's time to answer all of the text messages.

    turk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one I don't get. When you're eating, you need time and have no reason to scarf your food up. But if I'm getting into my car to leave, I don't need it any more. It doesn't benefit me to sit there. So, why not just go at normal speed and vacate the spot so someone who does need it can take it? Sitting there and texting just to spite someone is just being a d**k. You're done with the spot, let them have it so you can both get on with your days.

    Load More Replies...
    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So then me ordering another coffee and getting my book out.

    View more comments
    #20

    Alt text: Funny tweet about kids digging holes to sleep outside instead of cleaning their room, showcasing hilarious tweets shared on Instagram.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Rika
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents did that too. When I said okay and walked out without protesting, they remembered they had bought me a tent the previous week. It was set up in the garden with pillows and blankets and everything needed. I would rather sleep in there than go through the hassle of cleaning my room.

    Wharfrat
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Used to love sleeping outside in tent when I was a kid!

    Lene
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I cleaned up my kids' rooms last week. I informed them that I would not do it again until the next birthday (a month away). And that if they were to have a playdate before that time and their room was a mess, they'd have to have the playdate in that messy room. And my 8yo is actually keeping her room tidy! She's very mindful to keep it tidy because (I guess) she realised she likes to have a floor and a clear view of where her toys are. Who knew it would last at least a week!?!?! 🤯

    Mreoww
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Given I lived out in the sticks on a farm I’d have said fine I,ll go sleep with the cows or the sheep lmao and I did or I’d just go riding ! But yup THIS 😂,however if my step mother n father came over ( i grew up with grandparents ) n step monster would say ok fine i,ll go do it then , first time i said ok second time i was up there tiding it like i was possessed!!! it took me exactly 5 mins to destroy what she tidy cos I couldn’t find NOTHING !! n I used that with my kids when they where younger lol either u do it or im black bagging it , only took once n hiding the bags in the shed lol

    AKRaven
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would make us sleep on floor and our behinds would be to sore to sit on if we didn’t clean them.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was born in 1965 n no matter what my grandparents I grew up would tolerate abuse or smacking !m neither do I , I’m sorry you had to endure that x

    Load More Replies...
    #21

    Tweet humor about insurance prices changing unexpectedly, featured among the most hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    James016
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the past I have had car insurance companies quote me a range from about £300 to "we are unable to provide a quote as it would be thousands". All the details being the same so yes, they pull the numbers out of their backsides.

    Kris
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone who works in car insurance in the UK...no we dont lol All prices are based on statistics and risk analyses. I work for a company that deal with with 10 different brands all offering different money because of the criteria they have. If 2 companies have the same make and model care and company A has 5 claims in the last 12 months and B has 20 then Company B's price is going to be more. People do forget that they are also businesses and want to make money (im not a capitalist. Im a realist) We sometimes can change the price because its a LIVE market and prices do change, sometimes hourly. Iv had it before where a customer has been paying just short of £1000 a year and when dealing with their renewal Iv checked the same underwriter and they have been cheaper. The amount of people who think its ok to shout and abuse call centre staff over prices they cant control is unreal.

    Load More Replies...
    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same thing happened to me. I told them: "if there was a lower price all along then why are you just telling me about it now?"

    SchadenFreudian Psychology
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Business. You’re supposed to scréw people out of as much money as possible.

    Load More Replies...
    Bob Jones
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always cheaper to cancel and take out a new policy than renew, even with the same company

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, a lot of insurance companies are like Comcast that way. They keep jacking up the rates until you call them to knock it off, or even threaten to take your business elsewhere. It's predatory and shady as hell, but it's also legal.

    Erika Franko
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The car insurance in the UK is very expensive compared to other countries, and elsewhere anyone can drive your car (family members, friends), not just you - for no additional cost. For years I was cancelling and taking out new insurance wirh the same company as new customers always got better rates. Then 3rd year noe I am with "H.... direct". Year 2 they dropped the renewal rate. Year 3, just now from June: Last year: £675 Renewal offer: £710 In their email: "Even if prices are rising, we're committed to offering competitive renewal prices. Don't forget - based on the same details, the price of your renewal quote from us will never be more than a quote we offer to a new customer." Did online the quote as new customer for the same cover: £627 I called them, and 15 mintes later I made the payment for £596. So one phone call made £114 difference. Just mind-blowing...

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my home insurance company tried to slide a big hike by me, I told them I would be taking one. Somehow they managed to give me the same coverage for less than I paid the year before.

    detective miller's hat
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been doing that with my insurance, internet, and phone service for years.

    Sue User
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AT&T did that when iwas leaving. Two years into Verizon, Verizon notified me that cheaper plans are available and do I want to switch ?

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cancel your insurance and start puttting the premium money in a savings account to pay for what ever the insurance is for. Just be strong enough to leave it alone until it's actually need (and hope it's not)!

    View more comments

    Social media can be a great boon for your career if you’re a comedian. For one, you can find a ton of hilarious content online.

    “You probably write down or voice memo jokes on your phone every day. Do the same for your social media. Make it a habit to jot down or take photos of things you find funny. Then turn them into tweets and posts. Twitter is a terrific place to work new material and see when your followers hit like. If a joke lands on Twitter, it might also land in your set,” Backstage suggests.

    #22

    Hilarious tweet about an 85-year-old grandma giving fierce advice on opening a secret bank account.

    Mommy__Owl Report

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw, I wish I had a grandma.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish one of mine were still around

    Load More Replies...
    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never be completely dependant on someone

    pfeils wife
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SHE REMEMBERS .. if you don't already know, there was a time here in the USA when women couldn't open their own bank accounts. Sadly, it wasn't all that long ago.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a great approach to a relationship. Have an open talk - equal to equal - about what's going to happen because of the increased income from the job. OP may actually be pleased with what she hears from her spouse.

    Susan Reid Smith
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a world that isn't safe for women, having a private emergency fund is not a bad thing, especially if her husband manages all of the finances. It is about safety and being able to rescue herself.

    Load More Replies...
    Oops
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think, she had her experiences.

    View more comments
    #23

    Hilarious tweet about NFL quarterback skills and broken remote shared on a popular page with funny tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Vinny DaPooh
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I however do not get paid $20M a year to throw interceptions on Sundays.

    Amy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But even if you suck… you got paid $20m. Just maybe not for many more years… 😅

    Load More Replies...
    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, where does this "our" come from? You aren't on the team.

    Vylnce NA
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Assuming your are rooting for the home team, you probably paid increased property taxes and other BS for the stadium to get built. If you live near the stadium, the traffic alone makes it your team.

    Load More Replies...
    Claire Collymore
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NFL = National football league. The best in the country, not the entire world.

    turk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no country even remotely close to being able to compete with the US in American football. That's a fact. Maybe if other countries started up serious programs in the sport, they might one day compete, like in basketball. But right now, the US is far and away the best at this sport. I can't say much positive about my country, but that's truth. Now, there is flag football coming to the Olympics, so let's see how other countries do. But I'd bet my house that the US wins big, assuming they get the NFL stars to play.

    Load More Replies...
    Richienotsorich
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Other teams may have better reserve QBs so he probably isn't even in the top 50! Also, this only works for a sport that is played professionally in one country.

    Gina ferras
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've always found it weird the hype Americans put on sports played primarily in USA the sheer arrogance of calling their championships world series etc

    Load More Replies...
    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Each team has multiple qbs and some of the back ups on another team may be better, so he could easily be less than the 32nd best.

    LittleTeapot
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t help but be amused by the number of comments and their upvotes about OP not accounting for backup QBs. Against 8B people - even just 340M in the US - the difference between 32 and even 100 does not matter even remotely statistically. What’s silly is to think you can’t evaluate someone’s skill against the relative expectation for their competitive group. But, it’s funny, too, in this case.

    O. Puntia
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    add in back-up QBs to that number ..

    Cynthia Christie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The entire reason for sports is exactly so guys like that can say “our quarterback sucks”

    Ravenkbh
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair the couch was well covered

    View more comments
    #24

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet describing a parent's funny dinner-time chaos with their kids, shared on a humor page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    NapQueen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please tell me there is a part two to this post?? I'm invested now.

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    C'mon man, I do not even have children, but know that your altar should always be child-proofed!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine are older now so being as is I m bedroom I’m safe but when they where little ones I did t even have it out just to be safe lol ,

    Load More Replies...
    Bogdan C
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, at least you maybe get to keep the altar, OP! And hopefully the gods are gonna be appeased by the sacrifice and grant you a bountyful harvest! :))

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s not daft is she that 4 yrs old old lass lol

    Load More Replies...
    x6rkq946s6
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m not a parent but even I know that if your kid insists on an answer to something vague, the answer is “I'll think about it” until you can get more information.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if they nagging you you don’t u ignore it once or twice n if ur trying to cook meaning u need to concentrate lol n kids come out with that u do tend to go ok , its not till they out the room u stop n thinks oh s**t what did I just say ok to 😂thank god I had the ghosts to watch em at time 😂n yes REALLY , still do infact but they 21-24 now so all good

    Load More Replies...
    Sam Trudeau
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Can I-" "Yes" *WWE noises, parent walks upstairs* "What are you doing?" "I went to ask if I could do boxing with brother and you said yes" *beat* "I did?" Same idea

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now we need the back story, what did u not hear daddy lmao 🙈😂😂n what did said 4 yrs old do WE NEED TO KNOW !

    Meanwhile, you should think about the value you provide to your audience when you post on social media. If you’re overly self-promotional, it can push people away. Instead, you could write short jokes and share them with your followers. Or you could post funny teaser clips from your stand-up shows.

    Moreover, it really pays off if you’re genuinely friendly and praise other professionals’ work—for example, by posting things from comedians you actually look up to. And you can always engage with your followers by asking them to share their thoughts about funny topics.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    Funny tweet about a baby group, toy vegetables, and a pun involving aubergine from a hilarious tweet collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Kalikima
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have laughed my àss off..

    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's definitely not the right group then! Because that is hilarious.

    Nicky
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd be perfect for the guy celebrating the 30 second birthday 🎈🎂

    Katie Norcross
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TIL aubergine is British for eggplant

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they all turned around slowly and stared? Been there.

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did no one know they're eggplants?

    Ivona
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's funny about an eggplant?

    View more comments
    #26

    Tweet humor about a son sending high rez close-up photos of dog's clenched sphincter, shared on hilarious tweets Instagram page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Grace Sssssss
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm laughiong so hard I'm cryong

    joyfulchasm
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weirdly whenever I read one of these comments I go back and make sure I laugh again to get it right.

    Load More Replies...
    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If none of them reciprocated in kind, well, that's just rude!

    Bec
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Story from a coworker who used to be the dispatcher for the police in a small town. They had received new tasers with cameras. Chief says that he has an important training video that he wants everyone to watch in their all hands meeting. Instead, they are all treated to a deputy who had been playing with the Taser at home and unknowingly turned the camera on. She said it was hilarious, him pointing it at his mirror, following his cat around the house while telling him to stop resisting arrest!

    Ipetmykitteh
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I pulled muscles laughing at this one.

    Janice Sanz
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, Drew. Did they comment?

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm only disappointed he didn't post the photo with this. WHERE. IS. THE. PHOTO??!!!

    El Dee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, you DID say 'give me a ring anytime'

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    #27

    A hilarious tweet describing a 4-year-old pretending to be a hired cleaner with an imaginative family story.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This always makes me laugh.

    Harry Gondalf
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This _could_ be vestigial past-life memories. Current researchers estimate 20% of children can remember past lives.

    Peeka_Mimi
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is this getting downvoted? People can have their opinions.

    Load More Replies...
    joyfulchasm
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Witness protection? The only possible explanation.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now that darling has some imagination 😂😂but gotta ask wtf did the name Carlin come from lol

    Linn
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Past life reincarnation!!! 🤔👍😎

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    View more comments

    The ‘Really Dumb Tweets’ account has seen massive success since its curator created it a decade ago, back in 2014. The page, which prides itself on “posting the funniest tweets you’ll ever read,” has garnered a very impressive 1.6 million followers from around the globe.

    Not only do you get a frequent dose of humor, but as an Instagram user, you also get to see what funny and bizarre posts tend to go viral on X.

    #28

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet joking about being a thousand-year-old witch, shared on a popular humor Instagram page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely does. 🧙‍♀️

    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope her laugh sounded like a cackle. lol

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol seen this before ! N I knew I’d missed a trick lmao

    Kris
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    They everybody clapped.

    #29

    Hilarious tweet about accidentally wearing the builder’s hoodie instead of boyfriend’s, shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Trillian
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did she not smell the difference?

    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never been able to wear second hand clothes because to my nose, they never stop smelling like the previous occupant.

    Load More Replies...
    Ghostchaplain16
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cpt. Your comments are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!

    Load More Replies...
    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some creeps would think that you were flirting with him.

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PSYCHE! (do people still say that?) OG here.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️😱😱😱😱😱 AKWARD MUCH 😂

    View more comments
    #30

    Tweet showing a hilarious family dinner story, highlighting humor in everyday moments shared on the most hilarious tweets page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to start doing this. Just serving dinner in the most unhinged containers. Oh, don't like your food out of the leftover whipped cream container? Here, try this Goofy mug from 1982...

    ghost gurl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you're missing the point of stfu and be grateful for the meal someone made you.

    Marianne
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm with him on this one, because it's so wasteful. Why not use plates in your own home?

    Laura MG
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mom gets sick of washing dads dishes because he's too lazy to do them, or thinks it's "women's work"

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    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Flawless Mom/Wife Victory! Also, SIERRA-TANGO-FOXTROT-UNIFORM, and just be frakkin appreciative, grateful and thankful that she cooked for you.

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's lucky she had dinner waiting for him at all.

    Schmebulock
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and then they wonder why many people cheat.

    Oops
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, but i can understand this dad, why not serve his meal on a plate, you surely own at least one.

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha ha. I wonder what he said to that.

    Chuck
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    then he went out for a pack of cigarettes...

    View more comments

    We’d love to hear which of these pics you found the funniest, Pandas, because we had a ton of fun curating them. Which ones made you laugh way harder than you expected? Be honest, which ones did you spam your friends' groups on social media with? For you personally, what are the biggest differences in the vibes between the digital culture on Instagram and on X? Let us know!

    #31

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a daughter saying behold instead of look, featured in 100 most hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Grace Sssssss
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad taught me that globes were called "Africa". Then we'd go to some fancy place that had a globe and dad would point to Africa on the globe and ask me what it was..."Africa!" And everyone there would be SO IMPRESSED.

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, I'm starting this with my three year old tomorrow.

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I should do something like that with my grandkids!

    ί𝔫CίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to reach my son to say "what sort of word has escaped your teeth's barrier?" instead of "huh?" (from the Odyssey) It didn't catch on.

    Rosie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First thing in decades (I'm 66 now) that has made me wish I had a kid to raise. Extra kudos!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @60 I wish I still had young uns to raise had my two at 35-39 n lost two at 43-45 now I can’t n ooo I miss those days lol so I feel you x

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    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bet she stopped that real fast after the school bully heard her say it.

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    #32

    Tweet humor featuring a dad making a pun about vests, highlighting some of the most hilarious tweets shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Spidercat
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Outstanding work here from Simon 👌🏻

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he had a vested interest.

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone explain (in UK English) exactly what he means by "vest" here? Underwear/singlet thing? Jacket? Waistcoat? Gilet? Tank top? I'm genuinely confused.

    MalayDragon
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Clears Throat* As a member of the council of Dads, I approve this joke. Well Done sir.

    Dr Jimmy 03
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Additional pun-nishment for Simon. Extra strike for the Dad Joke.

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    #33

    Hilarious tweet about family cupcakes causing panic over counting kids, shared on a funny tweet Instagram page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can imagine the thought of having 3 kids under the age of 4 leads to a mini or medium panic attack

    Mi So
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can confirm. I used to babysit a family with 5 under 6 (2,3,4,5, & 5). I’d say it heavily influenced my decision to NEVER have kids.

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    Jordan Vollet
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had 3 under the age of 3......we all made it!!

    setsuriseikou
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, your kiddos have a strong and reliable parent!

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    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not surprised by the three kids under age 4. The rhythm method requires some math skills.

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter is having 3 under 3. Her son Atlas, just turned 2, and now the twins are due in December....it will be a bust time for them

    Paula Carr
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had four kids under five. I think it broke her.

    Natalie Kelsey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had three under 2. We panicked too but it turned out okay. And we had another, 6 years later. Now they're 24, 23, 22, and 16, and all of us have survived so far.

    Talis
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The guy would have to change his Twitter account!

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    #34

    A humorous tweet about celebrating a 32nd birthday as a "thirty-second birthday" shared among 100 hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You "Dad Joked" your girlfriend?! Awww man! You have at least got to wait until you are engaged to pull that off.

    Robert Millar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be very careful what you say on her forty second and onward.

    Ipetmykitteh
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have been responding to terrible dad jokes with a hearty “BOOOOOO” for a decade now. Recently I’ve been spicing it up with raspberries and vigorous thumbs down while booing if the jokes is particularly terrible. This one might have inspired a new dance to add to my repertoire.

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except this isn't a bad one. I've literally never heard this joke before, and it's actually kind of funny.

    Load More Replies...
    Wild Cream
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omfg 😂 I actually turn 33 tomorrow! I wish I’d heard this exactly one year ago, I just wasted my 32s 😂

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was great enough that it had me wondering why I didn't celebrate mine that way!

    Stacie Zuniga
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just told this to my daughter who's celebrating her 32th birthday today. Great timing.

    Nicky
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is an absolutely awesome joke and if she doesn't appreciate it, dump her.

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    #35

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about confusing pounds of cheese with weightlifting, shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    James016
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You heard me and I stand by what I said"

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so random, so hilarious as a result

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "That's a lot of cheese" is a useful retort to many doubtful claims.

    Kris
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1000lbs = 453Kg. Eddie Hall lifted 500Kg which is about 1100. So unless he was on about him Id say the PT was lying lol

    #36

    Tweet about drinking nine cups of coffee, feeling jittery, and humorously describing a chaotic mind state from hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not nearly as funny, but that's how I felt when I was struggling with my coca!ne add!ction. I could do anything! Hell, I could do EVERYTHING! I could see into other dimensions! I didn't need sleep anymore - I had passed into a plane of existence where sleep was not required. At the time, it seemed awesome. Can confirm it was NOT awesome XD (I've been clean for almost 5 years!)

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been wondering what doing c**** is like. Thanks for telling me!!

    Load More Replies...
    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure it's caffeine she's imbibed.

    Jaya
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell us more about the alphabet!

    Bec
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't drink coffee, but I often drink tea, usually just black iced tea. My lovely coworker brought me some Darjeeling tea from India. I had a cup, and another, and another - really delicious stuff. Then I noticed I was absolutely vibrating... Apparently it's very high in caffeine.

    JB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know it's too much when you can see the time knife.

    Kris
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Want the alphabet in alphabetical order? sure! --- HRABQDWEXFLMNSUIGJKOPCTVYZ --- read each letter out loud. Hint: H = Aich

    Ipetmykitteh
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Red Bull + 5hr energy = time travel

    Shelley DuVal
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For years I thought that people who refused to drink after midday 'because they would be awake all night' were people who believed the hype. Until I read an article that said there are some people who are missing the pacific gene that makes coffee affect them that way. I am one of them. (I think I worded that rather badly, but hopefully most of you get the drift)

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything is: 42

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is all wrong, though. Vowels should be first. The related pairs should be together, B and P, for example. They're the same letter except the B is voiced and the P isn't. Also, V and F, D and T, Z and S. End with the heavy metal band name letters Q, X, and Z. Honestly, you could get rid of C entirely, since it's pronounced either as a K or an S. And Q should be able to do its thing without an accompanying U.

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    #37

    Tweet text on black background humorously comparing inner child, inner duck, mouse, and focaccia dough needing rest, from hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My inner sloth achieved total dominance years ago.

    Rick Seiden
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My inner duck is always asking, "Hey, got any grapes?"

    Paulina
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Focaccia prefers warm, just so you know.

    Natalie Kelsey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like you have a pizza shop and a petting zoo inside you

    elskar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This guy tries pretty hard, huh?

    View more comments
    #38

    Hilarious tweet about babysitting and letting a child watch unlimited Bluey episodes for a fun and playful night.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah the "girl you're babysitting." Just say you watch Bluey. I watch Bluey. Bluey's real

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Load More Replies...
    Geoffrey Scott
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's fine...so long as it's not Blippi.

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to my 24 yr old daughter lmao our dogs a three yr old staffie n a three yr old rottie x cane corso love Bluey to 🤦‍♀️I’m sure they don’t but meh 😂

    #39

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet describing a confusing coffee shop argument about calamari, from a popular humor page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Linda Graber
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in the phoenix area. I used to drive an airport shuttle for a resort. Picked up two guys from the airport and driving them to the resort. One guy asked what the cactus with arms was called. I said they are saguaro’s. The other guy said no they are sequoia’s. I said no they are saguaros. He argued they were sequoia’s. At that point I decided I couldn’t argue with an idiot.

    Richienotsorich
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mark Twain said don't argue with idiots; they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

    Load More Replies...
    Dekker451
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never understood why people do this, but especially now with smartphone technology. Chances are he had in his pocket a portal to the repository of nearly all human knowledge and yet he chose to argue about facts.

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully, she just called it done and left. You cannot fix that level of stupidity. And dealing with it, is like getting an ice cream headache, but without the joy of eating ice cream.

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple. Stand up, go to the man's chair, lean down to him, and gently say, "Dude, you are so wrong, give it up, you are about to enter the 'I'm-a-total-fùċķwıt' territory."

    Brandi VanSteenwyk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My cousin-in-law was convinced that octopus have TESTICLES, not TENTACLES. And nobogy could convince him otherwise.

    tori Ohno
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bet they didn't have a second date.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People have cell phones now. They can look things up and avoid all stupidity.

    Linn
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, it seems that they like being stupid!! 🤷‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    Load More Replies...
    Liz Butt
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never try to argue with stupid. You will never win.

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    #40

    Humorous tweet about an Italian restaurant menu with Halloween-themed pasta names, showcasing hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Ryan
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't you mean, an Italian restaur-haunt? Alright, its been fun, goodnight everyone!

    Nikki Sevven
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still chuckle at the rap restaurant that used to be in Atlanta, Georgia (US). On the menu were Wu Tang Clams, Ol' Dirty Custard, The Notorious P.I.G., etc. And, yes, you could order a Gin and Juice at the bar.

    Nope
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another person I feel I could be friends with.

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, not atll, I think people would love that!

    #41

    Tweet text about a funny ER visit misunderstanding, featured in 100 of the most hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    TerathNinir
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The opposite of a baby face.

    Uncle Panda
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The reward for a lifetime of hearing baby face comments (which were true) is that now I get a triple-take and the phrase "but you can't be old enough to retire."

    Load More Replies...
    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I shut my thumb (broke it) in a patient's car door so she took me to A&E. She was a serial visitor there for self inflicted injuries, and everyone knew her. And I was wearing my NHS staff badge. The looks on people's faces when she smugly informed them I was the patient this time was priceless, and she kept herself safe for several weeks just remembering it. Well worth a broken thumb for her self esteem that day!

    tee-lena
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's better than being mistaken for your mother's girlfriend. The girl with girl part doesn't bother me. It's the do I look old enough? Seriously, I'm not old enough! Damnit

    Moonie Pinkslip
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd have jumped up with joy and opened my arms and yelled, "DAD?!!!" I mean, y'know, just to confuse the f*** outta him :))

    Marsha Hultberg
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's consider you mature 'looking'.

    veryvenasaur
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone once assumed I was my sister's mother... I was 14

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had that with my youngest step sister , lol she was born when I was 15 , n I’d left school then ( I’m 60 n in uk so we could then ) on my days off from work I’d baby sit her , n the amount of times I got called her mum was funny , till she started calling it me to 🙈

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    T'Mar of Vulcan
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I went places with my dad as an adult people would think he was my husband. My dad was 40 when I was born. 40!!!

    Rosie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone did that w/me & a *very pregnant* friend. We were both 17. I hope karma took care of it, because I've never recovered either.

    Angel Winward
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mall Santa did this to me when I (13) took my siblings (6, 4, and 2) to see him. Seriously, 13?!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch !, now that was an out n out insult , seems doc needs to get his eyes tested !

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    #42

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet reflecting on appreciating periods when noses aren't runny, shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same, gotta love allergies, plus the Canadian wildfires are wreaking havoc on our air quality.

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    Doodles1983
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Runny be fine. Blocked is a btich.

    Brandi VanSteenwyk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For a minute there, runny nose and all, I felt heard. I felt normal.

    Mikah
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Used to be me all the time. Then my cat died. I miss him terribly but I've rarely had a runny nose since

    lvnchrst
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did my nose start to get runny? 🤔 Lol

    Lily
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thankfully mine is not. I am thankful for thsoe times as my allergies are on the horizon as cottonwood season is coming soon.

    21stcenturyliability97
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the deep breath i just took was euphoric. I have never appreciated breathing enough, thank you for this

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My nose isn’t but my eyes are lol , it might be actually for once raining first time where I live , in uk in the sticks but I’m south west n it’s been a mega dry spring ,n I’m also a keen gardener lol as gets hayfever 🤣🤦‍♀️n have fields n fields of crops behind house , so eyes always stream 🤦‍♀️

    Toothless Feline
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I frequently reflect on it—with amazement, because I have chronic rhinitis. It’s *always* running.

    Bigmomma
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My nose is always runny through allergies and sinusitis

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    #43

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a customer praising the same helpful person twice, shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love when people ask me for the corporate number to "complain about their server/togo order." Buddy, that's my number. We don't have corporate.

    SchadenFreudian Psychology
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The corporate executives don’t know that human customers exist. They just see numbers on a spreadsheet.

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    Ter Mite
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was at ladies house to give her a quote for termite control, it was my last day at that company. We got into an argument and she kicked me out of her house. On monday I start at a new company, guess who my first appointment was? Funny thing was, she didnt recognize me, and went on and on about the guy who she kicked out of her house last friday :)

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On some days you're better than you are on others. True of the worker and true of the customer.

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I love the "can I speak with someone from your purchasing department?" and I'm like sure, send an email *to which I will reply in an uncertain amount of time*

    Marlene Ricker
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's really funny! I hope you had a laugh about it!

    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooffff in that case wtf was wrong with u yesterday lmao 🤣 did u tell her im very sorry i got out the wrong side of the bed lol

    trixiefly11
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to work in table games. One time I was dealing craps to a lady who was drunk and obnoxious and she complained about me to my supervisor for being rude. Which maybe I was. The next time I saw her she was raving about how nice I was and what a great employee I was. She was more sober that time.

    veirdbuttrue
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some days be like that.....

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    #44

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a professor grading a film essay mix-up shared on a popular humor IG page.

    adam_cook2014 Report

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope you used some actual punctuation in your essay

    aashi chaudhari
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reply would have been perfect if you had used punctuation too.

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    JB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not so bad, once I pulled the wrong lever...

    Nota Robot
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is not so bad either. Once I pulled my uncle's finger.

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    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I loath grammer cops ! U all got sad lives !! we can type how we types n if u don’t like it that’s a huge u problem NOT OURS A******S

    View more comments
    #45

    A funny tweet about parenting and a 2-year-old suggesting a Hot Wheels ramp in the bath, shared on a hilarious tweets page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Dragon mama
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They make a hot wheels ramp that sticks to the bathroom wall and has a little button so you can rest the car at the top then press the button and off it goes. So. Much. Fun

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like playing with Hot Wheels in the tub is gross, but I don't know why.

    Spannidandoolar
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because those hot wheels cars get taken everywhere, they are not clean!

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    Brandi VanSteenwyk
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids are an excuse to play with the new toys... the ones you always dreamed of but weren't available (or too costly in my case) when you were their age. The best!!

    #46

    Funny tweet about toddlers' endless energy and sleep refusal, shared on a page featuring hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Soap they "accidentally" ate in the bath? My child has a full on Bluey "Pizza Girls" episode in her tub where she gets a "free drink." AKA, bath water.

    Rika
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my brother was a little kid, he once complained that the candy he stole from my room didn't taste good. It was soap - one of those cutely wrapped, sweet-smelling hotel soaps...

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    Lene
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My 8yo had a long period of time where she didn't even tough her lunch pack. My bf then asked her how she survived in school (without food). Her aggressive answer right before she stormed off: HOMEWORK!!!!

    Bec
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shiny new joints, for one.

    DowntownStevieB
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like out 20s are where we lose it all.

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    #47

    Tweet humor about a HomeGoods cashier sniffing candles, featured in hilarious tweets shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, that's the kind of judgement with which I want to approach every moment of my life 😂

    #48

    Tweet humor about sleeping in, cinnamon rolls, and childhood rage featured in hilarious tweets shared on social media.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL oh gosh so true. those days were misspent goth

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhhh...do you mean misspent youth or do you mean it was time wasted in your goth phase?

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    Crystalwitch60
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol imagine bloody hell that was 57 yrs ago 😱it’s in there somewhere 😂

    #49

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about attention disorders and life before the internet, shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We went outside and played. We read. We talked with friends and played board games.

    Rika
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As someone with ADHD who loved living like in the 1800s when I was a kid/teen on holidays in a rural area, I promise you that you wouldn't need the internet: you would be too busy working in the garden, climbing trees to pick up fruit, gathering eggs from your chicken, making jam and peeling potatoes, cooking and baking, doing laundry by hand, sweeping the floor because vacuums don't exist, having picnics outside or playing cards next to the fireplace that you obviously chopped wood for... People need the internet because they don't have to do things anymore. You don't even need to have an attention disorder to get bored when: you get groceries delivered on your doorstep, it takes a minute to shove your laundry in the machine and you get to watch the microwave cook your food in less than 5 minutes.

    Mikah
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends on who you were. If you were poor, you probably worked all day and didn't have much idle time anyway. If you were wealthy, you might very well have rewrote the Bible by hand and run around in circles

    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We did a lot of d***s and drank copious amounts of alcohol.

    Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero"
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the 1800s, many children were forced to work, especially during the Industrial Revolution. The Museum of Tolerance notes that families often sent their children to work to survive. Children worked in factories, mines, and on farms, often facing dangerous and unhealthy conditions, Our World in Data and Maine MILL state.

    Colleen Smith
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of people did just that. Before the pesky printing press.

    Doug Moyer
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know about others, but while I could NOT sit still in class (and spent so much time in the office), I could read for hours. Also, I'd take the dog and hike in the woods nearly every day - looking for bugs and crayfish and cool sticks.

    Arenwy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We learnt about punctuation.

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    #50

    Tweet expressing strong feelings about showing love and caring hard, featured in hilarious tweets shared on IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    HardBoiledBlonde
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Life has a way of beating all the good out of you if you aren't careful.

    hilary 10
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just figuring how to brake up with someone as they are to nice and very caring. Just feel smothered and like my independence is being chipped away

    Kathy Brooke
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they are chipping away your independence that's not nice and caring. That's creating dependency which is very different from love. Love does not insist you stay here with me all the time to keep me company, it encourages you to fly and do all the things that make you alive, and then come back and tell me all about them. And I'll share my flights. Love is lace - a blend of knots and holes. Not all holes, not al knots.

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    The Majestic Opossum
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's true! I've always been that person and it wasn't until about 3 years ago I realized I had stopped carrying the load in my relationship. It's less exhausting, but a whole lot less fun...

    Motivated sloth
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I told my daughter to be less loving and caring and nurturing once. Her bf was giving her none of those things so I told her to match his energy for a week. They’re getting married next year.

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just make sure that your "loving hard and caring hard" isn't someone elses' "stalking/hovering and smothering".

    Fellfromthemoon
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Step back, please. I need my space very much and I don't want to be touched. Maybe a pat on the shoulder or a peck on the cheek, as we part ways, if we're really close. I said OR, not AND.

    Tobias Reaper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it didnt work on the jury it wont work on me

    Dr Jimmy 03
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pick and choose your battles. You can probably win most, but you Cannot win all of them.

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    #51

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a nephew’s funny question and unexpected a*******n, shared on a humor IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Trillian
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He could also be pushing 80 and calling himself president

    Nota Robot
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world he was right

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    See Also on Bored Panda
    #52

    Tweet about the funny struggle of passing a slightly slower fast walker, part of hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    NYC sidewalk, every day, every minute, anywhere

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same for driving or when shopping

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s how I used to walk home from school every day!

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worse, the people who walk in a line (shoulder to shoulder), blocking the whole sidewalk. And they always walk sooo slow.

    #54

    Tweet about a vet struck off after medical training due to a minor indiscretion shared among the most hilarious tweets on Instagram.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Korthias
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read a similar one recently, except it was a mortician....

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, that was the job he got after he lost his license as a vet.

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    Brendon Nash
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just got it.lol

    #55

    Tweet humor about embarrassing moments of thinking a movie is good before checking reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Trillian
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or the other way round. I often dislike or am bored by movies that everyone raves about

    Jaya
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I stopped looking at the rating on imdb. Movies about trans or gay people almost always get a pretty bad score, including all the great movies. Homophobes really ruined the reliability of ratings.

    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I look at the sorts of movies that get huge box-office and online ratings I'd be disappointed if any film I actually liked was up there among them. Seems like I have a different judgement criteria from most of the rest of the world.

    Val
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man, that's me. I watch movies sometimes that are in Spanish, Russian, Chinese, French, English, you name it. I use subtitles and the movies/shows are always really good. I look them up so I can tell other people about it and it's like, "Negative 4 stars out of 100."

    Tim Gibbs
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Film enjoyment is subjective

    #56

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a Zoom meeting mix-up, shared on an IG page featuring funniest tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Robert van Deventer
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Move to a mountain cave and only return when all of civilisation has ceased, such is your embarrassment. My sympathies.

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no words. just open mouth to insert foot

    Motivated sloth
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is the daughter involved in the company or is it “our company” because her parents own it? I can’t explain it but for some reason after 45 years on this planet that’s a very important distinction to me.

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your fault for being so judgmental. You must be a delight to live with :(

    #58

    A hilarious tweet reflecting on the emotional bond with a dog and funny dog years calculation.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember when I was 6-7ish and first learned I was adopted... I came to terms with it and accepted it without any issues because I'd been told all my life about how one "adopts" pets and then they're part of your family.. so after my parents spent probably an hour carefully and gently explaining things, I just said to them, "Oh, so you guys adopted me, like we adopted Split? Okay." Split was our dog XD (Photo of her is attached! She lived to 18 years old!) splitter-6...f56aee.jpg splitter-683fc0df56aee.jpg

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beautiful dog! And that must have been such a let-down for your parents!!

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    Linda Graber
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was adopted too. From the onset they called me their little adopted darling so I always knew. When I was young we had a hog farm and when a sow had too many babies dad would spray them down with hair spray to k**l their sent and gave them to a sow that had fewer babies. For years I thought that was how I was adopted.

    View more comments
    #59

    Funny tweet about the human body growing a baby in 9 months but a twisted ankle taking 7 years to heal shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got a really bad ankle sprain when I was 17. I'm 43 and it still bothers me occasionally XD (The story of the sprain itself and how it happened is pretty hilarious too, if anyone wants to hear it.)

    Kalikima
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure, I'll bite. What happened?

    Load More Replies...
    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They actually discovered recently that humans actually evolved to heal slower. Google it, quite interesting. Ideally that means someday we might be able to edit our genes to speed up healing.

    #61

    Funny tweet about an awkward Uber ride and silent moments, shared among 100 of the most hilarious tweets on Instagram.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you just get in some random person's car?

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that young KB needs to keep writing. He’ll get an oscar for screenplay someday

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #62

    Tweet about Coco Chanel’s advice humorously comparing it to choosing punctuation in work emails, from hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many f***s are appropriate for a work email? Got a few to send tomorrow

    #63

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about learning to forge a signature, featured in the most hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Alessa Gillespie
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this. We had this silly little notebook in high school that had our picture and our parents' names and signatures. My dad was away on a business trip the first week of the school year, so I came up with my own signature for him. I ended up signing my own requests to be let out early or be excused for wearing sneakers instead of the regular shoes (we had a uniform).

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol this reminds me of elementary school, we had a card that was used for writing how many pages of what book issued from the library did the kid (me) read, and the parent had to sign it every day. They didn't check regularly, but once a month you'd bring the card in for them to check. I was an avid reader. I'd still read if I had the time. My mom had to shorten her signature just because of this card because of how much I read a month

    Spidercat
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not all heroes wear capes...

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum has the same initials as me, so I just did my signature and they never questioned it. Really, teachers don't have to check unless something serious happens, like the child is seriously injured when they were supposedly at a 'dentist' appointment.

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, brilliant! My dad would do something like this.

    #64

    Cricket trapped inside a blue lollipop, featured as one of the most hilarious tweets shared on social media.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Angela Corvaia
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We bought some for our grandson and he LOVED it - he is 7. I am not sure if he and his friend ate them or just grossed out.

    Jaya
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the hell? This is something people eat? Why?

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never got around to eating mine. My brother just ate crickets without the lollypop when he was overseas.

    #65

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about actors gaining weight for roles, highlighting relatable diet humor and funny tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then just Ozempic their way back to shredded abs

    #66

    A hilarious tweet humorously describing a group wearing "just divorced" and "divorce support group" shirts on a flight.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds way more fun than a stupid bachelorette party!!!

    Mike Barrette
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    15 min later.... GET THESE DRUNK WOMEN OFF THE PLANE!!

    #67

    Tweet about writing inspiration at coffee shops, featured among 100 of the most hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    NapQueen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I volunteer to advance the plot in any of your future stories.

    #68

    Tweet about choosing a college major with slight interest compared to a kid turning a bedroom into a wildlife sanctuary, hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Leah C
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pimp My Ride. "I heard you liked..."

    Autumn
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the day my car with the hot tub and blender impressed many of my classmates while I worked on my degree in interpretive sock puppet dancing.

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    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I went to school with a kid who was on that show. He was like 12/13 at the time, they turned his bedroom into a pirate ship, I think his bed was the in the mast. He f'in hated it! He was way too old for something like that. Totally forgot about it until I read this post.

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right???? Like I had a clue about ANYTHING at 18 - I'm supposed to figure the rest of my life out right now?? When I am so young and dumb...??

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why in Australia we don't have majors (except maybe if you do an arts degree) you just choose a course based on the job you want. Ideally, you have been thinking about what you want to do since you were in year 10 and chose year 11 & 12 subjects that are the prerequisites for the uni course. If you don't know what you do, some people choose an arts degree, but I think you are better off taking a gap year and working in hospitality or retail or something while you decide what you want to do so you aren't paying uni fees for something that doesn't get you further in life.

    SchadenFreudian Psychology
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever you get really good grades in in high school — whatever is so easy for you that you hardly have to study — THAT’S what you should major in. Don’t make yourself miserable trying to do things you’re not good at. Source: personal experience. Life should NOT be that hard.

    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got a bachelor's in general studies so I could explore a wide variety of subjects. My master's is in Library Science, as it was in the 80s.

    #69

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about impulse buying from the most hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and Marshalls (same company), they know the impulse buys as Jedi.

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I've done that. Those shelves leading to the tills are faaarrrr too tempting. It's TK Maxx here in the UK.

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People really buy that c**p? Some of it, like the candy, I get. But most of it is super cheap and bad quality stuff.

    #70

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about men leaving home with just keys and wallet, shared on a popular funny tweets page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because they expect their wives to dig all that stuff out of their purses as soon as they need a tissue or something.

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sometimes not even keys and a wallet

    Passerby
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I go out as if I were moving away. I go out with one backpack and one large tote bag. How large it is, you ask? Almost as large as a 20kg bag of rice or a bag of fertilizer. In fact, my dad actually asked once why I was lugging around a fertilizer bag.

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    An ex from years ago used to check he had the essentials as follows: spectacles, test icles, wallet and watch. Don't think he bothered with keys.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, that's how I live XD Though I DO carry chapstick.

    #71

    Tweet screenshot showing a hilarious comment about watching The Irishman with parents shared on a humor page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #72

    Funny tweet about therapy sessions and mental health, featured among 100 hilarious tweets shared on an IG page.

    spacej_me Report

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same at the doctor's office. How are you? Oh, good, thanks. No, wait...

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't that the definition of therapy?

    #73

    Tweet about feeling like a child at 25 despite adult responsibilities, featured in hilarious tweets on IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Gia SDP
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still doing this at 57...

    Bored Sailor
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meals do not need to be labeled. Why can I not have pancakes at 3 a.m. take a two hour nap and go to work. Or lasagna for breakfast.

    #74

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about getting escorted to the police station for prank calling local businesses.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    57csdsnstv
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one always makes me laugh like hell!

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol yep! Coffee ALL over my keyboard hahahahahaaa!!!

    Load More Replies...
    #75

    Tweet about Ozempic and class action lawsuit shared among 100 of the most hilarious tweets on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    jasper
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, you'll get $1.25 because the lawyers will take it all.

    #77

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about a second date ending at McDonald's at 3 AM, shared on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    NapQueen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I socialise, I have my rules. We either organise it for later in the evening, so I can have along nap during the day, or we organise it for as early as possible so I can be in bed by 10 - I love sleep wayyy too much!!

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    User name checks out.

    Load More Replies...
    H Celldev
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He’s perfect, but make sure to get the double fish filet now that’s a thing.

    #78

    Funny tweet about minimum wage and effort shared on a page featuring 100 of the most hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BOOM DEBBIE!!!!!!!!! Why do Debbies always suck!?!?!?!

    Krd
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly! If you want high standards, I expect high pay!

    Lady Eowyn
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please translate this into English.

    tee-lena
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Boss said work harder. Employee said you get what you pay for.

    Load More Replies...
    #79

    Tweet from kidjaheen humorously comparing a wedding to a sister’s Instagram posts, highlighting hilarious tweets shared online.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    #80

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about parenting and empty bandage boxes shared on a popular humor Instagram page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Jesse
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    solution: separate first aid kit on the top shelf in the closet

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #83

    Funny tweet about a shy wife awkwardly meeting extended family shared on a page with hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    David Jeffery
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're still together 9 years after that, she's forgiven you

    Korthias
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first date with my now wife was on Valentine's day, watching a movie and eating a pizza in her flat, but she only put pepperoni on her half of the pizza. I make sure to bring this up every year

    Cas P
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had you been my boyfriend, you would have been ditched and never promoted to husband.

    #84

    Tweet from Avocado Mama humorously discussing the number of kids as part of hilarious tweets shared on this IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    #85

    Tweet humor about a 7-year-old’s dark joke, shared on an Instagram page featuring hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    #86

    Tweet screenshot showing a humorous text about wisdom teeth and insults, part of hilarious tweets shared on an IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dícks. The censored word is "dícks".

    aashi chaudhari
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why use their nickname? you don't know them yet. call them Richard. (Sorry for the terrible joke, I'm not even a father)

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    Brendon Nash
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worked at MOA. Heard worse

    #87

    Tweet about waiting for mom to pick up from work, shared in a collection of hilarious tweets on a popular IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Motivated sloth
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Patience was a requirement in the pre-cell phone era.

    JSD
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents use to do this to me all the time. Now I'm hyper-vigilant about being on time for everything.

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People No Longer Have patience, attention spans or work ethics. Everyone is lazy, disconnected and impatient, and its all getting worse

    #88

    Tweet by Sabrina humorously commenting on misconceptions about women's bodies, featured in hilarious tweets collection.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Delicate Fcuking Flower
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm just picturing a world wide blood bath every month

    GalPalAl
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If for no other reason, this is why he is an ex.

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So for some reason he associates welfare payments with menstruation....interesting....

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The men is DC making decisions dont even know which hole a woman pees out of

    #89

    Hilarious tweet about a dad paying for gas on mom’s car for nearly 20 years, shared on a humor IG page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    roddy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She probably thinks she is driving an electric car.

    Brendon Nash
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They work on pixie dust?

    #90

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet humorously requesting to be sat up at a funeral to check on sister’s clothes.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #92

    Tweet by Trevor Williams humorously sharing awkward parenting moments, featured in a collection of hilarious tweets on Instagram.

    MeLlamoTrevor Report

    #93

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about parenting and kids sharing funny moments, featured in most hilarious tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    #94

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about working on a day off in pajamas, shared on a page with funny tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This used to happen to me when I worked at a fancy grocery store during the pandemic XD It sold a lot of local produce that was actually fairly cheap, so I'd go in on my days off to buy produce (the ONLY thing worth buying at that store; everything else was massively overpriced.) I worked in vitamins/supplements, so we actually had regular customers who started to recognize me. My regular customers would sometimes spot me while I was buying vegetables on my days off and would ask me if xyz product was in stock XD I was like my dude, please, do you see me wearing my Sprouts shirt and nametag? No? XD But the worst part was when my co-workers would track me down and ask me where xyz product was.. in the same department that we both worked in D: Why didn't THEY know where it was?!

    Clown fish
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol it happened to me a few weeks ago I went back to work to meet up for a colleagues leaving do and got hi, I've just brought this can you get it really clean like last time! I kinda laughed and said I'm not working at the moment I clocked off 4 hrs ago

    Load More Replies...
    #95

    Hilarious tweet about relationship dynamics and nighttime anxiety, shared on a popular IG page for funny tweets.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which one has to toss and turn and adjust the pillow half a dozen times before they're remotely comfortable and which one just lies down and doesn't move at all like a psychopath.

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was the first one! My ex was the second one! He would tell me to "just stop worrying" so I could "fall asleep". >_> He would then proceed to fall asleep within seconds and snore so loudly that I eventually had to sleep in a different room entirely XD

    OneHappyPuppy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm the first, husbands the latter. In fact, there he is blissfully snoring away

    #96

    Colorful Christmas tree lit with rainbow lights in living room, humor caption from hilarious tweets on social media.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    NapQueen
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That vase on the top of the ledge must be really hard to reach to dust.

    Richienotsorich
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why is the floor from your first floor missing?!

    #97

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet about bosses making jokes by offering more responsibility instead of a raise shared on a humor page.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    #98

    Screenshot of a hilarious tweet showing a pun about wearing vests and being less invested than family members.

    reallydumbtweets Report

    Korthias
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one needs to be higher.....oh no wait, it already is

    #99

    Tweet from Flanny sharing a hilarious school story where a boy cleverly denies smoking after being caught.

    reallydumbtweets Report